July 31, 2008

My f*cking head...

As Bush and McBush slam Congress for doing nothing to combat rising gas prices, Exxon-Mobil posts an $11.68 billion dollar profit for the second quarter. An $11.68 billion dollar profit. For the second quarter. The largest profit by any company in history.

Working together to solve America's problems!

This is just too much.

Rep. Darrell Issa (R-Naturally) has a sign in front of his office that reads: “This sign is in violation of Section 3.4.1 of the House Office Building Commission Hallway Policy and may be subject to removal.” It’s a protest against House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s initiative to clear the hallways of placards and charts. The deadline for sign removal is Friday.

What started as a “tongue-in-cheek” idea has turned into an impassioned stand for the right of lawmakers to express their dissent against the majority, according to a mind-numbingly stupid Issa spokesman, who was in the majority not all that long ago and might as well be now for all the obstructionism his party has been responsible for.
Jeebus, how old are you, nine? Of all the fucking childish and irresponsible... For the love of God, assholes, snap out of it, you fucking losers. Christ. Go drill somewhere. Preferably your own heads.

Republicans in Congress, working in concert with the White House, organized a deliberate political strategy to sabotage the Democratic majority in Congress as it responded to a mandate to solve major problems facing the nation, according to a new report released today by the Campaign for America's Future. With the American public registering overwhelming disapproval of the job Congress is doing, the facts in today's report show that Republicans are to blame.

As Republicans posture about the do-nothing Congress, it's worth remembering that much would have gotten done had they not been in the way.


International IOKIYARitudeness!!

Sen. Sam Brownback (R-Bungholio) is shocked that the Chinese government spies on people without warrants, oversight, or probable cause. But when the Cheney administration menstruation does exactly same thing, Brownback thinks that’s fine, because when we do it, it's always the right way for the right reasons.

We don't put the hardware and software on hotels. If there is a targeted individual that seems to be a likely prospect of terrorists, they must go through the FISA court and ask for a court to determine that there is probable cause to be able to listen in on that information.
He then added(slight paraphasing):
"Instead, we put the hardware and software at the telecom companies where we can more effectively monitor all communications, not just the communications from the hotels. Then, despite being against the law, we grant the telecoms retroactive immunity."
Rule 1: America is never wrong
Rule 2: If America appears to be wrong, see Rule 1
There, fixed it.

From 'straight talk' to smear campaign

A feisty editorial in the St. Petersburg Times righteously slams the putrid, Rovian McCain campaign:

The Straight Talk Express has taken a nasty turn into the gutter. John McCain has resorted to lies and distortions in what sounds like an increasingly desperate attempt to slow down Sen. Barack Obama by raising questions about his patriotism. Instead of taking the Democrat down a few notches, these baseless attacks are raising more questions about the Republican's campaign and his ability to control his temper. [...]

Virtually all candidates, including Obama, distort their opponent's record. But McCain has gone beyond reasonable bounds. The self-described "happy warrior'' in the 2000 presidential campaign has turned sour in 2008, and the candor and straight talk that once made him such an attractive candidate are rapidly disappearing.

Disappearing? They've gone, straight up Karl's poopchute. McBush is now a bagman for the most corrupt administration ever, who are using him to keep from being investigated and thrown into prison should the Dems take over the presidency and the majority this fall.

Update: Joe at AmericaBlog agrees. I can remove the tinfoil now. ☺
More, via MarketWatch:

With Republicans, Independents and Democrats alike questioning the increasingly nasty and desperate tone of John McCain's campaign, the Democratic National Committee today released a web ad called "Desperate Times." The ad highlights the fact that, despite promising to "wage a respectful campaign," McCain has resorted to questioning Senator Obama's patriotism and launching false and misleading attacks that have been widely debunked. His campaign has stooped so low that one of McCain's former advisors called his most recent ad "childish" and said the campaign's strategy "diminishes John McCain." [The Atlantic, 7/30/08]

Either Way You Slice It.......

He was fucked without a kiss.

What the McCain campaign doesn’t want people to know, according to one GOP strategist I spoke with over the weekend, is that they had an ad script ready to go if Obama had visited the wounded troops saying that Obama was...wait for it...using wounded troops as campaign props. So, no matter which way Obama turned, McCain had an Obama bashing ad ready to launch.
No one could have possibly anticipated that that!

July 30, 2008

Is this yours? Let me know!

The scum also rises

There's no better way to describe the hiring of Bush supporters for career jobs in the federal government. But that's been his M.O. all along, his pal Michael Brown at FEMA being a shining example of the practice. Nothing says professionalism more than handing out jobs like Cracker Jack prizes to completely unqualified people--or worse than unqualified, in the case of ol' Brownie.

I wonder what the prize would have been for a blow job (instead of everyday boring regular observance of the Führerprinzip)? EW, don't answer that.


House panel votes to hold should-have-been-strangled-at-birth twathole in contempt

In another exercise in futility, a congressional panel voted today to find bloated shitbag Karl Rove in contempt for defying a subpoena to testify in in the "Justice" Department probe. 

Big fucking whoop. Let us know when you've finally arrested the asswipe, you ballless turds. I won't wait up.

Evangelicals tell McCain: 'don't pick Romney'

Already angry that the GOP candidate is closet liberal John McCain, the religious right puts their foot down, saying 'We don't trust that gay-loving baby-killer.'   The other one.

Prominent evangelical leaders are warning McCain against picking flipflopping RINO Mitt Romney as his running mate, saying their flocks will abandon the republican ticket on election day if that happens.

The Rev. Rob McCoy, who speaks at evangelical events across the country, told the Moonie Times, "I will vote for McCain unless he does one thing. If he puts Romney on the ticket as veep."
"It will alienate the entire evangelical community -- 62 million self-professing evangelicals in this country, only half of them registered to vote, are going to stay home on election day and be absolutely bitter," a spokesman added, snivelling.

Waffles Romney, fudgepacker.

There really is a MCM*

No, its not your imagination, the head of the AP is in the tank for Senile McDiaperpants.

Karl Rove's AP buddy Ron "keep up the fight" Fournier was "considered for 'senior advisory role'"/official donut supplier for the McCain campaign. Jed, of the Jed Report:

"I guess he ultimately decided he could do more good from the AP than inside the campaign."
ya rly! No kidding there! Their own print version of Faux Nooze!

*McCain Media

The Low-Road Express

A doozy of an editorial in the Islamocommiedefeatohomofascist America-hating NY Times slams John W McBush:

The candidate who started out talking about high-minded, civil debate has wholeheartedly adopted [corpulant antichrist Karl] Rove’s low-minded and uncivil playbook.

Mr. McCain used to pride himself on being above this ugly brand of politics, which killed his own 2000 presidential bid. But he clearly tossed his inhibitions aside earlier this month when he put day-to-day management of his campaign in the hands of one acolyte of Mr. Rove and gave top positions to two others. The résumés of the new team’s members included stints in Mr. Bush’s White House and in his 2004 re-election campaign, one of the most negative and divisive in memory.

Almost immediately, the McCain campaign was using Rove’s well-honed tactics. [...]

Like Bush, McCain confuses opposition to an unnecessary war with a lack of spine and an unwillingness to use force when the nation is truly in danger. Obviously, Mr. Obama is untested as a commander in chief and his trip was intended to reassure voters. But Mr. McCain is as untested in this area as Mr. Obama, and it is hard to imagine a worse role model than the one Mr. McCain seems to be adopting: President Bush.

Many voters are wondering whether a McCain presidency would be an extension of Bush’s two disastrous terms. If the way McCain is running his campaign these days is an indication, Americans don’t have to wait until next January for the answer to that one.

Really. After the major assreaming he received from Rove and company in the past, you'd think he would've given the blubbery shitbag a few well-placed kicks in the 'nads before tearing his goddamned head off and throwing him out the door. Instead he went grovelling to him. What a maverick.

GOP suffers another setback with felony indictment of scumbag

No, the other one. No, the other other one. No -- yeah, that one.

Just when it looked like things couldn't get much worse for republicans, they did.
And the beauty part is its been all their fault. Because left to the spineless Dems nothing would've happened.
The indictment of corrupt rethug -- but I repeat myself -- Ted Stevens adds to his party's already bleak electoral prospects in November, and not simply because it could cost the GOP a Senate seat that should be safe.
Which begs the question: wtf were the repukes thinking, to let this corrupt old crook keep it for so long? Did they think they were going to stay in power forever? The 'party of values and personal responsibility' my ass.
Stevens is the single most prominent advocate of oil drilling in protected areas, and charges that he took more than a quarter-million dollars worth of unreported gifts from an oil services contractor and its executives will play right into efforts to paint Republicans as a party captive to Big Oil.
He's received little support from Alaska's Republican governor and no comment yet from his own GOP leader in the Capitol.
Good. But watch, he'll be pardoned by Il Ducebag before his slap-on-the-wrist can be administered.
The erstwhile St Stevens.

Straight Talk Shootin'......


McCain Invades Iran Himself
USS Nimitz - Presumptive Republican presidential candidate John McCain flew an F-18 Hornet into Iranian airspace today and dropped several 2,000 lb. bombs on what he thought were important military targets. The bombs were actually dropped into a cluster of camels in an otherwise abandoned stretch of desert. One camel was reportedly wounded. McCain was not fired upon by Iranian air defense forces, presumably because he was nowhere near a significant target, and he returned to the USS Nimitz aircraft carrier at approximately 2PM Eastern Standard Time. Oh gaaaawwwd, read the rest

July 29, 2008

Who Gives a Shit?

Bush to the Democrats..."Let's see you create some domestic bills with THIS on your shoulders!" At this point its pretty clear that he's just trying to fuck things up as much as possible for President Obama
It's not THEIR fault and never is, it's the economy, stupie!

The next president will inherit a record budget deficit of $482 billion, according to a new Bush administration estimate. A Bush administration official said the deficit was being driven to an all-time high by the sagging economy and the stimulus payments being made to 130 million households in an effort to keep the country from falling into a deep recession. A $482 billion deficit approaching billion would easily surpass the record deficit of $413 billion set in 2004.
Land mines....... The vicious cycle. Republicunts ruin the economy by looting the treasury, Democrats have to raise taxes to fix it. Republicunts blame Democrats for raising taxes to win election, then ruin economy once they take office, Democrats have to raise taxes to fix it... lather, rinse, repeat. Clinton left with $128 billion surplus... Chimpenfurerher Von Stupie has posted a deficit in EACH of his 7 years as Appointed-by-the-Supreme-Court Decider.
Now, Obama takes over as Captain right after the ship has been torpedoed twice.

As George Carlin once said: "You don't take a shit, you leave a shit." Or a big ole stinky can of worms.

US headed for "heightened alert" stage

Misadministration officials, with the election right around the corner, feel the time is right to start capitalizing on moron-America's concern that al Qaeda blah blah blah.

Anti-electionterror officials in the Bush WH cite this fall's lineup of two major political parties' conventions, November's general election and months of transition into a new presidential administration as cause for heightened awareness and action.
The Department of Homeland Security is declaring a Period of Heightened Alert, or BLSHT, when terrorists   desperate conserva   terrorists may have more incentive to attack.

Don't Go There

A year ago, McSame would have gone to the gates of hell to get Bin Laden. Now, in yet another stunning flip flop ignored by the "liberal Media," McSame stutters that Bin Laden would be safe from a McCain attack as long as he is in Pakistan. Unfuckingbelievable, yet true.....

Senile old psycho: "pralines! armadillos! prunepits!"

Experienced war hero McInsane, who blasted defeatocrat Senator Obama's 16-month Iraq timetable, says he supports the more-reasonable, war-winning 16-month time horizon in meeting aspirational goals. Which he discusses with Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Petraeus every goddamned day, you punk.

McCain flipflops on no-new-tax pledge

Senile old codger Jowly McGrumpypants confuses running for president with auditioning for the Olympic Juggling Team. Again.

After frequently promising not to raise taxes, the addlepated old drooler goes back on his word:

March 16th: "None!"
July 7th: "Sen. Obama will raise your taxes. I won't."
July 9th: "I may raise your taxes."
July 27th: "I'm going to raise your taxes, you damn kids!"

John McCain drew a sharp rebuke Monday from conservatives after he signaled an openness to a higher payroll tax for Social Security, contrary to previous vows not to raise taxes of any kind.
His comments drew a strong response Monday from the Club for Republican Growth, a Washington anti-tax-for-republicans group. McCain's comments, the group said in a letter to the disoriented old waffler, are "shocking because you have been adamant in your opposition to raising taxes under any circumstances."
Later today: "I never said I was going to raise taxes."

Domestic Terrorism: More, Please

Nobody Could Have Anticipated THIS
A guy has lost his job and he’s pissed off royally. His unemployment ran out and his food stamps are almost gone. Somehow, he blames his misery on liberal social policies. Woa! Wonder where he got THAT idea?

Inside the house, officers found "Liberalism is a Mental Health Disorder" by radio talk show host Michael Savage, "Let Freedom Ring" by talk show host Sean Hannity, and "The O'Reilly Factor," by television talk show host Bill O'Reilly.
It would not be too surprising to find that the guy spent most of his day tuned into the hate radio talkers. And THAT is the crux of the biscuit: too many knuckle dragging mouth breathers believe the shit that the Reich-Wingnut blowhards spew.
Ground control to Limbaugh, Savage, Hannity, Coulter, and similar ilk: The blood of 9 people in Tennessee is on your grimy fucking hands, not that you care, assholes.
Oh, and fuck you.

Keepin' us safer

In their ongoing efforts to do everything possible to ensure the safety and well-being of American citizens... oh, I'm sorry, I must have been dreaming. Let's start over: It was business as usual in the Bush misadministration, as the Bush/Gonzales "Justice" Department put party before country and passed over "an experienced counterterrorism prosecutor" just because his wife was a Democrat.

He was an experienced terrorism prosecutor and had successfully prosecuted a high-profile terrorism case for which he received the Attorney General’s Award for Exceptional Service. ... The candidate’s wife was a prominent local Democrat elected official and vice-chairman of a local Democratic Party. […]

[Executive Office for United States Attorneys (EOUSA) Michael] Battle, [Deputy Director and Chief of Staff] Kelly, and Deputy Director Nowacki all told us that Goodling refused to allow the candidate to be detailed to EOUSA solely on the basis of his wife’s political party affiliation.

Unfuckingbelievable. Thank God these corrupt pieces of shit will be finally -- finally!! -- out of office soon.

Who Is Feeling Left Out?

Crying in his beer Geritol about b. HUSSEIN Osama's Obama's popular world tour, septuagenarian crotchety old fart John McSame(R-Dementia) laments that he feels left out, and he's not the only one. Apparently his Arizonian constituents feel the same way.

* 63% - How many votes in the Senate McCain has skipped during the 110th Congress (since January 2007).
* 96 - The number of Senate votes McCain has missed since his last recorded vote on April 8.
* 111 - The number of days since McCain last attended a committee hearing (of the Senate Armed Services Committee, on April 9).
* 25% - How many full SASC hearings McCain has attended during the 110th Congress.
* 89% - How many full SASC hearings McCain has skipped since April 2007 (32 out of the last 36 hearings).
* 2007 - The last year in which McCain attended any Commerce, Science & Transportation Committee hearings or subcommittee hearings.
And the "liberal media" predictably responds with the roaring sound of..............
Crickets chirping(while fucking each other).

It's the fault of the Intertubes

Another Rethug in trouble with the law? How can that? Sen. Ted "Bridge to Nowhere" Stevens has been indicted by a grand jury in Alaska on seven charges of corruption, etc.:

Republican Sen. Ted Stevens of Alaska was indicted Tuesday on charges that he lied about receiving gifts worth more than $250,000 from an Alaska-based energy company on whose behalf he intervened in Washington.

The indictment says the home improvements provided by Veco and its chief executive officer, Bill Allen, a "personal friend of Stevens," included a new first floor, a new garage, a new first- and second-story wraparound deck, new plumbing and new wiring.

Allen gave Stevens a new 1999 Land Rover worth $44,000 in exchange for $5,000 and Stevens' 1964 Ford Mustang, which was worth less than $20,000 at the time, the indictment charged.

Darth Cheney rubbed his fat slimey hands together with glee and grunted, "This is excellent news for the Republican Party! Now, the media will have to focus on our party instead of Hussein." Senator Jabba McSame could not be reached for comment, as he is still cleaning up the jars of applesauce he broke in a supermarket.

Oh, snap!

It's such a bitch when your Thousand Year Reich only lasts for twelve years--or eight. Then all the rotten things you did to other people and your country in the name of loyalty to your Dear Leader come crawling out into the light, and you can't hide them anymore.

Disbarment and jail time for lawbreaking sycophants, please? Pretty please? Even though they're taking the fall for Gone-zales, Il Ducebag, and Satan's porcine handmaiden*, Karl Rove, they still deserve it.


*TM Maru

P.S. Hai, guise! I'm alive!

July 28, 2008


Somewhat apropos: "WTF" of the day: Abstinence thong

Imagine this: In the heat of a truly epic make-out session, you peel off clothes until you're down to a thong. But how to make sure that special someone understands the panties aren't coming off until your wedding night? If this is your dilemma, an abstinence thong bearing the slogan "Earn your right to wear white" may be just the answer to your prayers (so to speak).
Some kind of kinky role-playing cums to mind.......
BAD undie lib!

Headline of the day

"Obama visits doctor for sore hip, probably from kicking McCain's ass across three continents."
-- seen at fark.com. Actual story here.

Douchebag of Liberty hospitalized

Just days after his hit-and-run with a helpless pedestrian, incontinent old geezer Bob Novak was admitted to a Boston hospital where he was diagnosed with a growth on his rectum.

In a written statement, Novak said: “On Sunday, July 27, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor. I have been admitted to Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston, where doctors will soon begin appropriate treatment. Surely now I will be taken off the hook for plowing down that innocent bystander and driving off with him still firmly implanted in my front windshield.”

Breaking news from the Duh! Report

Gonzales aides broke hiring laws: A new Justice Department report concludes that politics illegally influenced the hiring of career prosecutors and immigration when the Dept discriminated against non-republicans.

Poor Albuto Gonzales, kept out of the loop by his minions, was not aware of his underlings' actions, and will continue to live his life outside of a dank prison cell.

Think I'm kidding? "Gonzales was unaware of those actions," according to an investigation by Bush's Justice Department.

Fucking disgusting. Rule of law my ass.

Another Alzheimer's moment for Jowly McGrumpypants

Pathetic old dodderer: Gen. Petraeus -- whom he seems to meet with on a biweekly basis -- is "the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff."

Fun fact: the honor actually goes to Admiral Mike "Jeezus, you old fucking coot, I oughtta kick your ancient white ass" Mullen. Why does McInsane hate our troops?

"Dur be dur be dur..."

GOP senator rips McRove a new poopchute

Chuck Hagel: 'McCain treading on very thin ground,' sanity with his outrageous new ad painting Sen. Obama as a troop-hating Islamocommiedefeatohomofascist who hates our troops, America.

The Republican senator from Nebraska joined the Obama campaign in calling the accusation "wildly inappropriate," saying this weekend that the insane old coot is "treading on some very thin ground here when he impugns motives, and when we start to get into 'You're less patriotic than me, I'm more patriotic.'

"It's just not responsible to be saying things like that, again, if for no other reason than for the good of this country and the world," he added.
And its not just Chuck Hagel, the WaComPo reports:
One GOP strategist with close ties to McCain's campaign said the new line of attack reflected the operation's "schizophrenic" nature. He said that tendency was also on display last week, as McCain spoke at length about media coverage of Obama rather than sticking with his plan to focus on the economy.

"They couldn't help themselves," the strategist said, adding that the ad over the hospital visit is "churlish and unlike McCain, and hardly will resonate with the swing voters who are going to decide this election," adding "They're doing it because the candidate, and the campaign, is not happy with where they are and they're lashing out."
Even perennial rethug cheerleader Joe Klein has put down his pompoms in disgust:
This is the sort of thing you put on the air when:

1. You're desperate.
2. Your Middle East policy has been superseded by events and abandoned by your allies.
3. You apparently have nothing substantive to say about America's future role in the region and the world.
Ouch! LOL

Dick Cheney hates our troops

Vice President Cheney's photo-op to frighten address propagandize to wounded combat veterans next month has been shitcanned because his security demands were "Draconian and unreasonable."

The jerry-rigged cyborg had planned to speak to the Disabled American Veterans at 8:30 a.m. at its August convention in Las Vegas. His staff insisted the sick vets be sequestered for two hours before Cheney's arrival and couldn't leave until he'd finished talking, officials confirmed, just in case one of the poor maimed bastards managed to wheel himself into a bathroom stall to grab a pea-shooter to pull on him.

Many of the vets are elderly and left pieces of themselves on foreign battlefields since World War II, and others were crippled by recent service in Iraq and Afghanistan. For health reasons, many can't be stuck in a room for hours, especially one with no bathrooms and with the snarling, dyspeptic vice president ready to rip somebody's goddamned head off.

"It was a huge imposition on our delegates," added a Veterans official. "They would've had to get up at 0h-dark-30 and try to get breakfast, shower and get their prosthetics on. What is he, insane?"

"You fucking pussies! During Vietnam I was... uhhh... mehhh... go fuck yourselves!"

Record deficit expected in 2009

It's yore money! The Bush ecomnitude:

The White House has increased its estimate for next year's deficit to nearly $490 billion -- half a trillion dollars -- as the economic outlook darkens, a record figure that will saddle the ... would be the highest number ever recorded.
Fucked fact: it doesn't include the costs of the war(s).

In a related story, McCain's kid is cutting-and-running from his positions on two Nevada bank boards, just ahead of the investigations.

McCain sends contradictory signals on running mate

Also on the economy, immigration, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, Social Security, health care, the fuel crisis, the housing crisis, affirmative action, and choice of cereal.

The candidate will announce his vice president either very quickly, somewhat quickly, soon, before the Olympics, or afterwards -- only he still hasn't decided whom to ask yet, says senior advisor/crooked lobbyist Charlie Black, who is still greasily working for the campaign.

Liberal Bias Bias

When even Mrs. Greenspan is calling bullshit on your amatuerish Rovian lying campaign ads, you need to realize you're fucked.

NBC’s Andrea Mitchell reports that there was never a plan for Obama to take the press to Landstuhl, despite the claim by McCain folks and others. The plan was to go with his military aide, retired General Scott Gration. The Pentagon said Gration was off-limits because he had joined the campaign -- violating rules that it not be a political stop.
Obama had gone to see wounded troops in Iraq earlier in the week, without even confirming he'd been there. No press, no pictures. He has done the same when he goes to Walter Reed -- never any press.
Damn.....no amount of Dunkin' Donuts with sprinkles will get her invited to a barbecue now. Fucked without a kiss.

WATB's tough week

It's enough to make you want to cry. With laughter:

The first African-American politician with a real chance to become president of the U.S.A. went to the Middle East and Europe, and for some reason the media found this vaguely important. Those bastards.

Honestly. But that wasn't going to stop Saint Insane, Man of the People.

When John McCain descended on a Penn. grocery store Wednesday afternoon, the unscheduled campaign stop, meant to highlight McCain's concern over skyrocketing food prices, instead quickly became a theater for the absurd. First, a cameraman knocked over several glass jars of applesauce, which rolled near McCain's feet. Then, the senator's hastily assembled press conference was interrupted by the scream of the store's P.A. system announcing a staffer had a phone call.

Finally, there was the fact that the young mother McCain had an extended chat with about the high price of tomatoes and milk was not a random shopper, but an area resident funneled to the campaign by the local Republican Party. Even with the amusing [sic] mishaps, the entire event came off as canned, and McCain -- whose discomfort with the phoniness required by politics has always been evident -- spent most of his time shifting uncomfortably.

Well, his Depends® were probably full. From another must-read Top 10 Conservative Idiots.

Rethug morals and fambly values

  • Peter "well" Hong, a longtime Republican operative in Minnesota, was arrested Wednesday afternoon on a charge of soliciting prostitution in St. Paul, underpants.
    Mr Hong served as a spokesman for Gov. and possible McNuts' VP choice Tim Pawlenty's campaign in 2002 and for the Bush-Cheney campaign in Minnesota in 2004. Most recently, Hong was a point person for presidential Jesus candidate Mike Huckabee.
  • Rethug loser kills 2 in Tennessee, blaming "liberals and gays."

  • Top DOJ lawyers spoke ‘in codes’ for fear of White House ‘lunatics’

    Investigative journalist Jane Mayer: one top Justice Department lawyer and “very conservative member of this administration” who said that after participating in White House meetings authorizing torture, he believed that “lunatics had taken over the country.”

    MAYER: "There was such an atmosphere of intimidation. … They felt so endangered in some ways that, at one point, two of the top lawyers from the Justice Department developed this system of talking in codes to each other because they thought they might be being wiretapped…by their own government. They felt like they might be kind of weirdly in physical danger. They were scared to stand up to Vice President Cheney."

    "Feeeeed meeeee... feed me your children...."

    McCain campaign: 'ok, so our guy's a bit of a loon'

    Straight talking? McInsane may not be always speaking on behalf of himself, says his own team.

    The Surge HAS BEEN a Success

    Proving to liberal dirty fucking hippies that the surge is teh awwwwesome and the islamocommienzijihadifascist terrorists are are on the run and in their last throes Iraq blast claims 50, wounds 250

    Three female suicide bombers killed 28 people and wounded 92 when they blew themselves up among Shi'ites walking through the streets of Baghdad on a religious pilgrimage on Monday, Iraqi police said.
    In the northern oil city of Kirkuk a suicide bomber killed 22 people and wounded 150 at a protest against a disputed local elections law, Iraqi health and security officials said.
    Success, just like our other ongoing victory in Afghanistan also known as the country where global powers go to get their asses kicked by primitives in caves.

    July 26, 2008

    Hai. Hai. Hai hai hai. Iz Caturdai. Hai.

    Nobody listens to him

    McSame whined and wet his Depends because that mean black kid is getting more attention, and he doesn't like it:

    "Good morning. I'm John McCain, and this week the presidential contest was a long-distance affair, with my opponent touring various continents and arriving yesterday in Paris. With all the breathless coverage from abroad, and with Senator Obama now addressing his speeches to 'the people of the world,' I'm starting to feel a little left out. Maybe you are too."
    No, I'm just fine, thanks.

    July 25, 2008

    Quote of the Day from the Failure-in-Chief

    Words fail me:

    No regime should ignore the will of its own people and calls from the international community without consequences.

    Mutant Octopi

    In nature, it is quite rare to encounter octopi with extra tentacles (or “arms,” for the purists), but a pair of aquariums in Japan’s Mie prefecture have some extraordinary specimens on hand.

    The permanent display at the Shima Marineland Aquarium in the town of Shima includes a 96-tentacled Common Octopus (Octopus vulgaris) that weighed 3.3 kilograms (about 7 lbs) and measured 90 centimeters (3 ft) long when it was captured in nearby Matoya Bay in December 1998.

    Compare and Contrast

    Senile old coot disses Spirit of Saint Ronnie

    The McNuts campaign jumps all over Sen. Obama's "citizen of the world" comment. Unfortunately for them Ronald Reagan used the same phrase to describe himself at the United Nations and during his 4th State of the Union address.

    But... but... he hates our troops or something!

    Don Rumsfeld ate my baby

    Since the National Enquirer is suddenly the paragon of journalistic integrity, let's count the number of times George and Laura Bush have gotten divorced in the last 8 years...

    Republican Senator tells McInsane to shut the fuck up

    Chuck Hagel, fresh from his trip to Iraq with Sen. Obama, said one of the presidential candidates -- his name sounds like 'McPain' -- should focus on taking his medication and stop arguing over whether last year's troop surge worked, for heaven's sake.

    "I mean really. He's getting to sound like my wi... uhhh, like a world-class putz," Hagel said, rolling his eyes.

    Well, not exactly. That we know of, anyway.

    The Triumphant Return of the Friday Funnies

    "Barack Obama is behaving very presidentially now. He's in the Middle East, and he met today with the leaders of Israel and Jordan. And not to be outdone, earlier today, John McCain was in the park playing checkers with Ed Koch." --David Letterman
    "After a quick meet-and-greet with King Abdullah, Obama was off to Israel, where he made a quick stop at the manger in Bethlehem where he was born." --Jon Stewart, on Barack Obama's Middle East trip
    "Barack Obama is very popular in the Middle East. I guess a lot of people over there saw the cover of the New Yorker." --Jay Leno
    "John McCain was talking about this, and he said that the problem is that the border between Iraq and Afghanistan -- they share a common border, that's what he was saying. Mistakenly said that Iraq and Afghanistan have a common border, and I thought, well, no wonder we can't find Osama Bin Laden -- we've been searching an imaginary border." --David Letterman
    "Let me ask you a more serious question. When you woke up this morning, did you feel a little colder, the country was a little sadder, a little lonelier, a little less hopeful? There's a reason for that [on screen: CNN telling viewers that Obama has left the country]. Don't take our hope away. We miss you. Barack Obama, the living embodiment of goodness and light, the future of human evolution." --Jon Stewart
    "Yesterday, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi referred to President Bush's time in office as 'a total failure.' Yeah, Bush defended himself saying, 'Oh, come on, I've hardly spent any time in my office.'" --Conan O'Brien

    McCain Flips Out Bill O'Reilly Remix- Watch more free videos

    Got Milk or Just Out of Touch??

    McSame needs cue card to remember milk prices

    Mr Foreign Policy Expert: Bismarck! Lawnchairs! Niblicks!

    The "straight-talkin' maverick" with years of experience under his belt* drools that Iraq was "the first major conflict since 9/11" -- forgetting all about the war in Czechoslo Afghanistan, where the 9/11 attackers were actually based.

    *along with an onion.

    GOP shitcans efforts to help weary Americans

    Excuse me, who's to blame for high gas prices?

    House republicans scuttled a bill that Democrats hoped would help lower gasoline prices by forcing the Energy Department to release 70 million barrels of oil from the national reserves.

    Fucked fact: the rethugs still had the stones to blame Democrats, for not going out right away and start drilling for more, I guess.