August 31, 2008
"Wait, Palin? Did I say 'Palin'? I meant ... uh... .um ... ackkkkkk!"
Posted by maru at 8/31/2008 10:08:00 AM
August 30, 2008
Velcome... to Caturday...
Posted by maru at 8/30/2008 11:04:00 PM
Video stolen from Blah3!
Posted by maru at 8/30/2008 09:01:00 AM
Oh good: inexperienced newbie expected to "be able to be educated quickly."
"She’s going to learn national security at the foot of the master for the next four years, and most doctors think that he’ll be around at least that long,” said Charlie Black, making light of concerns about the cancerous old coot's health.John, probably doing a major face-palm, replies: "She can learn on the job over the next four years, you know, like night school."
And STILL the media is gushing over this.
Posted by maru at 8/30/2008 08:50:00 AM
August 29, 2008
"Political experts say that John McCain is going to try to steal attention away from the Democrats tonight by leaking the name of his running mate. Experts say there’s a pretty good chance that McCain will leak something else too." --Conan O'Brien
"Michelle Obama said she's been in love with Barack ever since he took her on their first date and bought her ice cream. Isn't that sweet? Yeah, meanwhile, John McCain's wife Cindy says she's been in love with McCain ever since he hit her over the head with a club and dragged her back to his cave." --Conan O'Brien
"Tomorrow — this is a little fun fact for you — both John McCain and Michael Jackson will celebrate their birthday. Yeah, so it will be the birthday of an old white guy and John McCain." --Conan O'Brien
"Barack Obama's freshly-minted running mate, Sen. Joe Biden, also spoke tonight, and I have to say, after all the name-related problems this campaign has had, why Obama would pick a vice president with the last name 'Biden' is beyond me. Not that there's anything wrong with the name of Biden, but Obama-Biden, it's like they're trying to make their ticket sound as much like Osama Bin Laden as possible. They found the two guys in America whose names match up most closely with the person we hate more than anyone in the world, and they put them on the bumper stickers, very good thinking." --Jimmy Kimmel
I am not surprised that the reichwingnut rapture nuts haven't picked up on that.~Ed.
Posted by Undeniable Liberal at 8/29/2008 04:34:00 PM
Posted by maru at 8/29/2008 04:25:00 PM
Posted by maru at 8/29/2008 04:20:00 PM
Republicans are so fucking pathetic. Columns! Ahhhh! Even more disgusting? Cable tv stations that aren't the official gpuke propaganda nutwork harping on it.
Well, when faced with multiple assitrocities like that, you have to fight fire with fire. My friends, thanks to Bob Cesca, the Presumptuous Greek god McBush.
Yeah, when McMansions accepts the repuke nomination in front of an imitation Cong grass hut complete with punjii sticks and shrunken heads and shit, we should all be ashamed of ourselves.
Posted by maru at 8/29/2008 04:18:00 PM
Former President and elder statesman slams irritable curmudgeon on the continual playing of his broken record --
Jimmy Carter said Thursday that Former Prisoner of War John "POW" McCain is “milking every possible drop of advantage” from his time as a prisoner of war in Vietnam.Triple bonus points:
Carter focused on McCain’s interview earlier this month with author and pastor Rick Warren at his parish, the Saddleback Church. McCain used every question, whether it was about religion, domestic or foreign affairs, to talk about his five-and-a-half years as a POW, Carter claimed.
“John McCain was able to weave in his experience in a Vietnam prison camp, no matter what the question was,” Carter, a 7-year Naval officer, said.
“It’s much better than talking about how he’s changed his total character between being a senator, a kind of a maverick at the time, and his acquiescence in the last few months with every kind of lobbyist pressure that the right wing Republicans have presented to him.”So... totally... pwn3d.
Posted by maru at 8/29/2008 04:16:00 PM
Last night, Senator b. HUSSEIN Beezlebub Ali
Osama Obama(D-Islam) gave a speech in a professional football stadium that was packed. Today, Senator John McKeating(R-Hanoi) muttered about some fucking kids on his lawn while trying to cop a feel from a GILF in a minor college basketball arena that was half-full.
Happy 72nd Birthday, McGrampy.
John McInsane is so old that when former President Clenis spoke at the Dirty Hippy Lovefest, it is important to realize that the mighty and uber liberal Clenis spent 8 years as President, 8 years as a former President, and is STILL ten years younger than McBushagain.
And although McSame may be very old, he is a former POW.
Now get your hope off my lawns, you religious gun clinging kids.
Posted by Undeniable Liberal at 8/29/2008 04:12:00 PM
Fuck this shit. When Obama wins the election, he should just totally fucking shut out every media outlet in retaliation. Except for the bloggers, of course!
-- Bob Cesca, on the abyssmal MCM coverage of the Democratic National Convention.
I just liked this pic.
Posted by maru at 8/29/2008 04:12:00 PM
Coldcocks Satan's porcine handmaiden in the process.
Selecting a minority to balance out the black fella, the maverick also hopes his choice of running mate will bring in all those disenfranchised menopausal Hitlary supporters. But will an inexperienced governor and former mayor of Moosefuck, Alaska be able to handle a 3 AM phone call if and when the 72-year-old coot keels over???
Fun fact: the choice marks yet another flipflop for Senile McPancakes, who has repeatedly asserted that his "key criteria" in selecting a running mate would be that that person would be "most prepared to take my place" and that his selection would be someone "who is ready to take my place at a moment's -- you know, immediately, pie plates bran muffins diaperrash."
Fun fact 2: she hasn't even been in office two years.
Bonus: she's already under investigation. What a time-saver!
Paul Begala wonders "Is McCain out of his mind???"
Andrew Sullivan: Palin is McInsane's "Harriet Miers."
The WaComPo reports that Mitt Romney and Tim Pawlenty are pissed. LOL
Posted by maru at 8/29/2008 04:08:00 PM
"Only child" Cindy McCain's half-sister: 'I'm voting for Obama'
"I think his proposals to improve the country are more positive and I'm not a big war believer," Kathleen Hensley Portalski told the North Pottstown Herald-Tribune-Record-Gazette. "Cindy McCain? Who is that? Sounds like a royal-assed cunt to me," she should have added.
Posted by maru at 8/29/2008 04:04:00 PM
August 28, 2008
Straight-talkin' Cranky McFusepants gets ticked off, refuses to define "honor" in Time magazine interview.
Why does Time magazine hate America?
In a related story, even Andrew Sullivan thinks he's gone a bit too far:
Posted by maru at 8/28/2008 04:28:00 PM
Former Prisoner of War John "POW" McInsane -- who sent his homewrecking pillpopper trophy wife to discuss the Georgia/Russian war with President Saakashvili -- says Barack Obama’s decision to consider whether a special envoy to Northern Ireland was still necessary puts progress there “at risk."
Senile old fuck.
Posted by maru at 8/28/2008 04:23:00 PM
Rove, after asking insufferable quisling to withdraw name, tongue from his ass, gets finger instead --
Corpulant antichrist Karl Rove called shrivelled, human-like smegwad Joe Lieberman late last week to urge him to withdraw his name from vice presidential consideration, according to sources familiar with the conversation.Karl has got to be pissed: sounds as though he really, really wants it to be Multiple-Choice Mitt:
The smug, faux-pious vichycrat dismissed the request, the sources said.
“Rove called Lieberman,” recounted another source. “Lieberman told him he would not make that call.”
“Rove is pushing Romney so aggressively some folks are beginning to wonder what's going on,” grumbled one veteran Republican strategist.McMansions is expected to announce his vp choice on Friday. Unless Karl tells him not to.
Fun fact: Mitt Romney bought a new $12 million beachfront house in La Jolla, California not that long ago. He also has a house in Iowa. And one in Massachusetts. And a lake home in New Hampshire. That one is worth more than $10 million. And he has a vacation home in the ski resort of Park City, Utah.
Update: the confused candidate is now saying he hasn't decided on his running mate yet, mainly because giant horseflies refrigerators hot-air balloons.
Posted by maru at 8/28/2008 04:17:00 PM
A U.S. soldier has died of wounds suffered in a small-arms fire attack in Baghdad.
As things continue to go remarkably well, separate suicide bombers killed 30, including 28 in an attack Tuesday on Iraq police recruits.
Oh, and China has reached a $3 billion oil deal with Iraq. China.
Posted by maru at 8/28/2008 04:15:00 PM
Way to go, Ass. Press!
The Star Tribune joins a string of other daily papers who have either given notice or revealed plans to cut the service in recent months.The recent decisions to drop AP service stems from a planned rate change, say papers, and not from the fact that the service suddenly sucks major ass.
Those include the Spokesman-Review of Spokane, Wash.; the Post Register of Idaho Falls; the Bakersfield Californian; the Yakima Herald-Republic and Wenatchee World, both in Washington, the Valley Forge Herald-Picayune, the Daily Nosebag of Iowa City, the Maswegan Poultry Tribune, the St Mertle Herald-Tribune-Record, Indiana's Post-Intelligencer, the North Bumfuck Probe-Register of North Dakota, the Miami Standard-Review Times and the Waco Herald-Post-Record-Tribune Ledger-Review.
Not to mention repuke dick.
Posted by maru at 8/28/2008 04:07:00 PM
August 27, 2008
"What's red, white, black and blue all over?"
"POW John McCain getting whipped by gay sadists in a POW camp. POW."
Posted by maru at 8/27/2008 11:12:00 PM
Gawd. I haven't seen so much lip- and asshole-action since I toured that hot dog factory back in '81.
Mitt "mmmmnummies!" Romney: "McCain earned his eight houses. Obama didn't."And does so again, with Faux Nooze's kNeil Cavuto.
Black HUSSEIN Osama not only spent his 30s with a kitchen table, he wasn't whipped by gay sadists as a Prisoner of War.
Posted by maru at 8/27/2008 04:37:00 PM
With the MCM's never-ending gloatfest over "DemocratIC disharmony," we should be posting this all over the place. Via AmericaBlog:
And that goes double for picking that flipflopping gay-loving baby-killer Mitt Romney as VP.
"Bend over, evangelicals!"
Posted by maru at 8/27/2008 04:35:00 PM
John "Bomb bomb Iran" McInsane, who called Vladimir Putin the President of Germany and can't remember the difference between Sunnis and Shiites, Russia and the USSR, Czechoslovakia and 2 other countries or where Afghanistan's borders are criticizes Obama's foreign policy."
To be fair, he was was whipped by gay sadists as a Prisoner of War.
Posted by maru at 8/27/2008 04:33:00 PM