January 16, 2009

Conservatard cornhole: "Nnrrrrgh mmmlllllllph!"

The Moonie Times' Jon Ward pulls his fist out of his underpants long enough to type a paean of fellaciousness:

"Mr. Misunderestimated won't be misunderestimated much longer. Bush's address tonight beamed with all that became his trademark qualities and attributes: Magnanimity, pure class, relentless charm, dazzling wit, unyielding resolve, simple grace, easy elegance and quiet dignity seasoned with thoughtfulness, firmness of purpose and a hang-tough adherence to moral principles..."

"His manly thighs, gleaming like pale ivory in the moonlight, rubbed gently against my willing ears as I..." Geez, dude, have some fucking pride. Honestly. Get a grip on something other than repuke dong. You're embarrassing yourself.