January 27, 2009

Haggard: 'inappropriate' relationship not physical

Uhhhh, "I didn't inhale."

Disgraced evangelical pastor/knobgobbler Ted Haggard haggardly apologized Monday for his "inappropriate relationship" with a young, hot male volunteer, but said it did not involve physical contact.

The church didn't describe what made the relationship sexual -- just that it was "long-running inappropriate, consensual and sexual" -- but has emphasized that any sexual relations outside of marriage — whether hetero or homo — are wrong.

In an AP interview this month, Haggard described his sexuality as complex, and something that can't be put into "stereotypical boxes."

Haggard, married to a woman with, one assumes, a stereotypical box, has five children and deep denial issues.