January 27, 2009

Haggard: 'inappropriate' relationship not physical

Uhhhh, "I didn't inhale."

Disgraced evangelical pastor/knobgobbler Ted Haggard haggardly apologized Monday for his "inappropriate relationship" with a young, hot male volunteer, but said it did not involve physical contact.

The church didn't describe what made the relationship sexual -- just that it was "long-running inappropriate, consensual and sexual" -- but has emphasized that any sexual relations outside of marriage — whether hetero or homo — are wrong.

In an AP interview this month, Haggard described his sexuality as complex, and something that can't be put into "stereotypical boxes."

Haggard, married to a woman with, one assumes, a stereotypical box, has five children and deep denial issues.

5 comments:

HRH King Friday XIII, Ret. said...

The kid wasn't even that hot. He's kinda pudgy now. And Ted's church offered to pay the kid $180K to go away.

Ted, if you're out there I'll sleep with you for $100K AND I'm in shape. Email me, sweet cheeks.

Anonymous said...

lololol
maru,
you make missin you on caturday SO WORTH THE MISS!!!
lololol
and this applies to everything written this week and in every post since the beginning.
BTW
siri the fan

Niccolo M said...

"a stereotypical box"
Shit, that cracked me up.

Jim said...

I think "gay republican pervert bible-humper" is its own stereotypical sexuality box at this point.

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