Makin' progress

Iraq ripe for rise of "Iraqi Hitler," says Iraq president Ghazi Yawar.

8 marines die in Iraq's Anbar province.

GIs in jail for scrounging equipment in order to complete their mission.

500 lb. bomb dropped in Mosul neighborhood.

Three British soldiers seriously hurt after US tank convoy ran them off a road in Iraq.

The troops' morale is in the crapper. Get out there and buy another stupid "Support The Troops" decal for your car.

Whatever
Bush makes air pollution "top priority." Because that's definitely more important than a war, terrorism or the economy.

One of these days I'll get over this damn cold. I guess. I barely have enough energy to drink coffee today.



Bunnypants pissed at former asshole buddy
Guiliani given cold shoulder, copy of loyalty oath.

The spoiled little snotnose brat is in a royal snit at America's Mayor® and dragqueen Rudy Guiliani for pushing fellow serial adulterer and ethically-challenged dumb#uck Bernard Kerik as homeland security chief.

Mr. Giuliani added that he did not think the situation would hurt his relationship with President Bush or the White House. "It doesn't and shouldn't affect my feelings toward them, and I don't think it will affect their feelings toward me," he said. "We're friends."

The view at the White House is somewhat different. Although people close to the president say he likes and respects Mr. Giuliani, they say the president has long been leery of him as a man who could not be counted on for the loyalty demanded by Mr. Bush. And while the breakdown of Mr. Kerik's nomination is not lethal to Mr. Giuliani's relationship with the White House, the friends and officials say, it will hardly burnish his credentials with the [spoiled, prune-faced little fratboy having a temper-tantrum in the corner like some toddler-sized Hitler].

Fun fact: one of Giuliani Partners core principles is integrity.

Downer no downer for Bush
Arrogant spoiled brat wants to replace the head of UN atomic energy watchdog because the current guy "questioned US intelligence on Iraq" and hasn't found any evidence to invade Iran.

I’m still way behind on my Christmas shopping, but yesterday we got our tree, put up decorations and the Christmas lights outside, and watched A Christmas Story and White Christmas.

For some reason last night, instead of dreaming of sugarplums, I dreamt I was looking through a video/dvd catalog, but all that seemed to be listed were depressing German artsy-fartsy psychological mysteries, bizarro Canadian Mountie movies starring Ernest Borgnine, and what seemed to be hundreds of soft-core porn flicks directed by Viggo Mortensen.

When I got up this morning, two tree ornaments had been broken by the cats. I need some coffee.

Fa la la la phththth
'The 12 Days of Christmas,' presented by Santa’s farting elves.

On second thought, Mr president...
Man who was to be in charge of protecting borders employed illegal-immigrant nanny.

In a surprise move, former New York Police Commissioner Bernard Kerik abruptly withdrew his nomination as Bunnypants' choice to be homeland security secretary Friday night, saying questions have arisen about the immigration status of a housekeeper and nanny he employed.



The plot thickens, like Rush Limbaugh's thighs at an all-you-can-eat buffet at the Olive Garden:

Evidently, Newsweek has discovered a warrant was issued for Kerik's arrest in 1998. Site is temporarily unavailable.

Say goodbye to a patriot

"I'm going out telling the story that I think is the biggest story of our time: how the right-wing media has become a partisan propaganda arm of the Republican National Committee. We have an ideological press that's interested in the election of Republicans, and a mainstream press that's interested in the bottom line. Therefore, we don't have a vigilant, independent press whose interest is the American people."

- TV journalist Bill Moyers.

We’re all screwed
Convinced his leadership style and policy vision were vindicated by the election results, Bush is aggressively targeting domestic programs with the help of his loyal, power-mad cadre of propagandists and yes-men.

In other asshole news…
Halliburton, Dick ‘chicanery’ Cheney’s “former” company, has been given more than $10 billion worth of business in Iraq so far despite critical audits and investigations into its work. It’s good to be the king…

Cranky anti-semite 'sticks up for Christmas'
"Why won't they just let me lie in peace?" - everyone’s favorite vibrator user, Bill “rectum” O’Reilly, doing his part to keep the holiday spirit alive. You’d think with all the hot falafel action he gets he’d be in a better mood, but no.

Christmas... uhhhhh... classics
LOL - the ten least successful holiday specials of all time (thanks to skippy for the heads-up!).

Values
Jebus's favorite Hollywood star, Mel Gibson, is looking to spend some of the millions he made from The Jesus Chainsaw Massacre on charity a soup kitchen scholarship grant program $19 million island getaway near Fiji.

Oh, #uck it...

"I don't know what the facts are but somebody's certainly going to sit down with him and find out what he knows that they may not know, and make sure he knows what they know that he may not know. And that's a good thing."

- Don Rumsfeld, commenting on US troops searching scrap dumps for armor.

Well, that didn't take long
Irrelevant towelboy Colin Powell attacks European NATO allies for refusing to take part in the certain death military training mission in Iraq.

Faith and values
The ADL politely tells gasbag and vibrator-aficionado Bill O'Reilly where to stick his falafel after he tells a Jewish caller to move to Israel.

PSM
Portable PCs put prospective parents' production pouches in peril.

Heh heh - snow


Bush recites 'The Night Before Christmas' to these furry creatures at a WH photo-op.

UN flips Bush the bird

Secretary-General Kofi Annan won a standing ovation from the U.N. General Assembly, a rare public display of support in response to recent calls for his resignation from several hypocritical US dipwads lawmakers.

US deputy ambassador Patrick Kennedy joined fellow diplomats as they rose to their feet Wednesday, despite [the warmongering fascist]'s refusal to support the U.N. chief pending the results of an investigation into alleged corruption in the U.N. oil-for-food program in Iraq.

"In the 15 years I've spent at the United Nations, this is the second time that the General Assembly had a standing ovation for a leader," he said.

Freedom's on the march
Election plans in Iraq start to waver a bit as continued violence in Bush's war-torn hellhole leave open the very real possibility of us watching on CNN as scores of innocent voters are gunned down as they stand in line at the polls.

Supportin' the troops
On the heels of the Bild-Yor-Own-Armor-Plating® scandal, comes a report from the New England Journal of Medicine that a severe shortage of surgeons in Iraq has left US Army medical teams in the country scrambling to handle the largest number of casualties since the Vietnam War.

The medical system is "overwhelmed by the scope and severity of injuries" among troops in Iraq, and the survivors often have injuries so severe that "their prospects are uncertain." Soldiers who survive the initial blasts and field treatment are suffering at high rates from later complications, such as death.

Ummmm, Rumjob, if "You go to war with the Army you have," then what the #ucking business did you guys have starting this war in the first place???

Powell pleads with Europe to join the US in dying in Iraq
Colin Powell, who used to be somebody before he willingly became a buttlicking lapdog for the misadministration, has been ordered to Europe to beg real world leaders to go easy on his snot-headed dumbass boss when he arrogantly goosesteps across their countries in February.

Powell's comments were part of a charm offensive launched by Il Ducebag after his re-election that has yet to melt many European hearts, especially after his condescending implication of immaturity on the part of his hosts.


European leaders laugh as Powell asks them to "share the burden" in Iraq.

Ironic news of the day
I don't know whether to laugh or cry - US Sends Observers to Ukraine for Vote.

Why do they hate America?
Quote of the day:

"Troops directly question Rumsfeld about how Iraq war is being fought. Hannity, Limbaugh to condemn the troops for not supporting the troops."

- headline by anonymous poster on Fark.

In other news...

Baghdad 'worse than ever'

Hamid Karzai still not dead

Supportin' the troops: homeless Iraqi vets showing up at shelters

Tis the season
Snow globe of terror.

Solstice carols, by The Dagon Tabernacle Choir.

What's more unlikely, Posh Spice as a virgin, or George W Bush as a wise man?

The Bush ecomnitude
Job cut plans accelerate as the US has the worst 3 months of job losses in 2 1/2 years.

Deserters: hell no, we won't go
"Saddam Hussein was a really bad guy, but was he a threat to the US?"

"I didn't want 'Died deluded in Iraq' over my gravestone."

Zen ve heil, heil...
Bunnypants, dressed like a fascist villian in some cheap 3rd-rate comedy (see here), tried to boost the morale of US soldiers facing certain death extended deployments in Iraq yesterday by promising no end to the violence and to extend the already-promised yearlong Iraq tours of duty for American troops.

Bush did not, however, repeat his boasts from September about the non-existent 100,000 "fully trained and equipped" Iraqi soldiers, police officers and other security personnel being on the job.

Troops do something the media has been too chickenshit to do
... put tough questions to Darth Rumsfeld.

Getting ready to be shipped to the misadministration's blazing hellhole, disgruntled soldiers tell Rummy to stuff his propaganda happy-talk up his ass.

"Why do we soldiers have to dig through local landfills for pieces of scrap metal and compromised ballistic glass to uparmor our vehicles?" Army Spc. Thomas Wilson asked, to loud cheers.

"You can have all the armor in the world on a tank and it can (still) be blown up," Rumsfeld helpfully replied.

Jebus. And good job supportin' the troops!


Donald Rumsfeld and his good friend Saddam, in happier days.

Has this been the longest week of the year already, or what??


Get along? Get real
E. J. Dionne tells the Dems to stop being such wimpy-assed cowardly pussies, for God's sake.

Yeah, good luck with that, btw.

Commander Bunnypants wears fascist-style uniform to photo-op
Does this look like something Mussolini would have worn? Or a sci-fi geek?


Squinty McStupid visits the troops he hasn't sent to death yet, at Camp Pendleton today. The words read "George W. Bush Commander in Chief," in case he forgot just who the hell he was.

The enormous emblem was probably this:

Priorities
The hell with books, thousands of American flags needed under new state law in the Banana Rebooblic of Floriduh.

More than 15,000 American flags need to be replaced in public-school classrooms in central Florida by the end of the school year because they are smaller than required under a new state law.

The law, requiring every Florida public classroom to display an American flag, includes a 3-foot-by-2-foot size requirement. "We already had flags in every classroom," said Richard Wells, the district spokesman in Seminole County. "They just weren't big enough the ones specified by the law."

"Abortions for some, tiny American flags for everyone!"

Russell Mokhiber, Scott McClellan's personal antichrist - kudos

Q: Scott, on the Middle East, many evangelical Christians are supporting right-wing Jews in Israel who want to rebuild the temple on Temple Mount in Jerusalem. They believe this is a prerequisite for Christ's return to Earth. They believe when Christ returns to Earth -- they call this "the Rapture" -- he will take back with Him the true believers, and the rest, the non--believers, Jews and Muslims, will be left behind to face a violent death here on Earth. My question is, as a born-again Christian, does the President support efforts to rebuild a temple on the Temple Mount?

MR. McCLELLAN: Russ, we can sit here and talk about religious issues, but I'm not -- I will be glad to take your question and if there's more, I will get back to you on it.

Q: Is he a born-again Christian?

MR. McCLELLAN: Thank you.

Snow job
White House says John Snow doing a "great job" as Treasury Secretary. Let's see... oil at all time high, federal deficits out of control, interest rates going up, dollar reaching lows against the Euro...

Yeah.

Fun fact: Insiders are just counting the days before Bush chief of staff Andy Card is named as Snow's replacement.

Moral values III

More ethics violations from arrogant slimeball Tom DeLay.

The misadministration apparently condones torture.

New Homeland Security chief deserted his own daughter.

Programmer admits to building vote rigging prototype - at Republican congressman's request.

Ruh-roh
Iran conducts largest military exercise ever - on its western border with Iraq.

Pootie-Poot pooh-poohs Iraq election plans
Russian president and erstwhile Bunnypants' soulmate Vlad 'the impaler' Putin says he has grave doubts about plans to hold the election-charade in Iraq next month. He told Iraq's interim Prime Minister Iyad Allawi he could not see how a poll could be held while Iraq was under "full occupation".

Heh.