Farking Giants!!! Yeah!1!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!
February 4, 2008
Eggs Of Mass Destruction
Yet another Terrorist Plot Thwarted
An 18-year-old Pennsylvania teenager was charged Saturday with harboring a "weapon of mass destruction" after igniting what looked to be a plastic Easter egg filled with plastic pellets inside a flea market.A kid, firecracker, no one injured=Mass Destruction? Perhaps a trip to club Gitmo with some waterboarding is in order.
The teenager surrendered after employees chased him into a parking lot and stopped him from getting into a car. Authorities charged him with possessing a WMD, recklessly endangering others, disorderly conduct and assault.
Only in Amerikkka.
If you want to see a REAL weapon of mass destruction, watch me light a fart!
Doughy Parody
Proving that serious authors write serious books, Amazon lists Liberal Fascism under Parodies
Teh hil-fucking-arious.
Sexy time, with the party of moral values
Ornery Bastard reports: Sex workers get ‘more business’ at GOP conventions --
This summer’s political conventions are expected to be “a boom in business” for “the sex and adult entertainment industries,” but according to one veteran sex worker who spoke to the Rocky Mountain News, the GOP conventions are “a lot better for the sex workers.”
“We get a lot more business,” Carol Leigh told the paper. “I don’t know if they’re just frustrated because of the family values agenda.”
Fucking Joe Lieberman...
I'm watching CNN and there he is, standing there with Lindsey Graham, Rudy Ghouliani and other rethugs at a John McCain campaign event, with a huge shit-eating grin on his stupid quisling face... asshat.
"They aren't even trying to be believable anymore"
The latest Fox News documentary compares Bush to Lincoln... because Bunnypants is known for giving “some of the most eloquent and visionary speeches ever delivered by an American President,” just like the Gettysburg Address.
Lincoln: "With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation's wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan, to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations."Yeah.
Bush: "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYN's aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country."
Check out the comments here.
Yeah, baby!
The Modern History of Choking, featuring the birth of Heimlich, GWB and a pretzel, and the Patriots losing to the Giants.
Above: Pats coach Bill Belichoke.
Turnin' the corner
The surge has allowed life to return to normal in Baghdad; if by normal you mean no electricity or running water and a lake of sewage in the middle of the city big enough to be seen on Google Earth.
On sale now at amazon.com
"19-0: The Historic Championship Season of New England's Unbeatable Patriots," Triumph Books publishers.
Tags for this product:
fiction (87)
failure (50)
cheaters (49)
wishful thinking (48)
hubris (45)
cheating (42)
douche (37)
homosexuality (27)
dewey defeats truman (5)
I'm afraid this isn't your Super Bowl, Bill
Yes! Yesss!! Oh, let me taste your tears, Bill! Mm, your tears are so yummy and sweet. Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! Mmmmmm! Yummy...!
NY(J) f*cking Giants!!
Note to Tom Brady: while it may be nice to be continually blown by sports reporters, it's awfully hard to avoid sacks with your pants around your ankles.
February 3, 2008
Earliest map of Britain an exciting find
From the article:
"The only thing it gets wrong is Scotland, which was effectively a foreign country at the time, despite Edward I's best efforts to stake a claim to it. Which is why it looks like a big reproductive organ, with many strange, globular islands scattered about it like guilty puddles.":: giggle :: Larger pic at link.
Sanctimonious "moral values" guy: "look! Squirrels!"
The most trusted name in news...
CNN analyst and conservative hypocrite Bill Bennett "gave several thousand dollars to John McCain's presidential campaign, a fact that," according to a review of transcripts, "Bennett has not mentioned during any of his appearances on the network."The other being Mitt Romney. So that makes it OK, then.
Last month, Talking Points Memo reported that James Carville and Paul Begala had been suspended from CNN until after the Democratic primary because of their support for Sen. Hillary Clinton. The CNN official said Bennett's situation was different since he had given to more than one candidate.
B.A.D. to the bone
Happy blogroll amnesty and blogroll bloodbath anniversary remembrance day! Uhhhh, Super Bowl fans!
Don't forget Poland!
Germany to the Bush WH: "are you fucking high??? Piss off!"
A bitter diplomatic row between Germany and the United States deepened yesterday after Berlin flatly rejected demands from Washington that it deploy troops in war-torn southern Afghanistan and angrily dismissed the request as "impertinent" and "fantastic cheek".And not in a good way, either.
Absolutely The Worst Job in the World
Although it has a good death benefit and Great opportunies for upward moblility.
The operational commander of al-Qaida and possibly the No. 3 official in the terrorist organization, Hamza Rabia, was killed early Thursday morning by a CIA missile attack on a safehouse in Pakistan, officials told NBC News.At least six number-three men have been killed so far. That's alot of busy virgins.
Insufferable quisling's NY comPost op-ed
Joe "mmmphlll!" Lieberman: McCain for President
When others waivered and history hesitated, John had the courage and the conviction to walk heavily armed and surrounded by crack squadrons of troops into an Indiana-like market in Iraq...
"I know that it is unusual for someone like me - an Independent Democrat [sic] {Actually, no, Joe, it's not at all surprising coming from you - Ed.} - to support a Republican candidate for president. But the dangers we face as a nation are too profound, and the challenges we face too real, for us to let partisan politics decide who we will support.Mmmmrrlllph.....
"After all, the Islamist extremists we are fighting in this war don't distinguish between Democrats and Republicans. They want to kill all of us, because we are all Americans."
February 2, 2008
Yore preznit speeks!
Dumbass McChimpleton explains th' ecomnitude:
"See, when you provide an incentive for a company to invest, they go out and buy a machine. And when they buy that machine, somebody has to put labor into the machine; somebody is working."Working working working, until they die.
(Via First Draft)
Snort... as if!
The "no-holds barred," "historic documentary" George W. Bush: Fighting to the Finish is "an unflinching, fair and balanced look at the nation's 43rd president — only on FOX News Channel."
lolol
lololol
Fall Down, Go BOOM!!
"Coming down the stairs, he fell down and exploded."
A WOULD-be suicide bomber fell down a flight of stairs and blew himself up as he headed out for an attack in Afghanistan, police say.A classic example of emphasizing the error in terrorism.
It was the second such incident in two days, with another man killing himself and three others on Tuesday when his bomb-filled waistcoat exploded as he was putting it on in the southern town of Lashkar Gah.
H/T: The Apostropher
Have a nice day
"This picture of a crater resembling a "happy face" was acquired by the Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter on January 28, 2008. The unnamed crater is about 3 kilometers (1.9 miles) across. It is located among the Nereidum Montes, north of the Argyre basin, near 45.1°S, 55.0°W. North is toward the right and sunlight illuminates the scene from the upper right. Credit: NASA / JPL / MSSS"
Today in nature
Bird talks out of its ass, just like Bill O'Reilly.
Male Anna's hummingbirds — the West Coast's most common hummingbird — perform spectacular dive-bomber displays for females during breeding season, with their tail feathers vibrating like a reed in a clarinet as a result to make the sounds, scientists explained.
Around blogtopia
y!sctp!
Morning would
February 1, 2008
The problem with Sean Hannity
Well, one of them, anyway. Southern conservative blogger tears Sean Hannity a new asshole. Or, as we like to call it, a new hannity:
Doing the people's bizniz
Now that the CIA tape destruction and WH email scandals are all cleared up, Sen. Arlen Specter (R-idiculous) wants the NFL to explain why it destroyed evidence of the New England Patriots' cheating scandal.
Around blogtopia
y! sctp!
It's blogroll amnesty and blogroll bloodbath anniversary remembrance weekend! Let's get the party started!
Pic from skippy!
The most trusted name in news
An extensive history of terrible CNN.com headlines.
Sorry, but nothing tops the "Sean Hannity takes anal" one from earlier this year:
Feh
The HuffPo reports that slimy scumbag Karl Rove will be joining Fox "News" as a contributor, finally making it official after his six years distributing talking points for the Bush White House. The report didn't include any more details, but suggested he would be used for the nutwork's Super Duper Tuesd Romney-Suckage coverage.
"I'll be waiting, Karl!"
Rick Santorum makes major announcement!!
The man-on-dog former Senator has endorsed dog-on-car candidate Multiple Choice Mitt.
Some reactions from you-know-where:
"Well how dare he. Doesn’t he know that Mitt’s all for killing babies. What a Rino."OMG, that would be so awesome!111!!!!! It's hugh!!11!
"Yes! This could mean dozens-—even hundreds-—more votes for Romney. It’s hugh!"
"Can you imagine a Romney/Santorum ticket? Two handsome guys with great hair."
The Bush ecomnitude
As job loss numbers climb to a new record, so does Exxon Mobil's profits.
Job losses were widespread. Manufacturers, construction firms and a variety of professional and business services eliminated jobs in January — reflecting the toll of the housing and credit debacles. The government cut jobs, too. All those cuts swamped job gains in education, health care, retailing and elsewhere. Wage growth also slowed, another indication that employers are tightening their belts amid the economic slowdown.Not to worry. With those $600 tax rebates, everything will be juuuuuuust fine.
Exxon Mobil said on Friday record oil prices boosted its fourth-quarter earnings to $11.66 billion, the highest operating profits evar.
The 2008-'09 federal budget deficit is expected to hit 400 brazillion dollars.-
Conservatard manufactured outrage of the day
Headline: "Pro-McCain heresy" at the National Fishwrap!! screams Instapuke, in the midst of a conniption fit.
Truth: the doughy pantload pens a mamby-pamby column that really doesn't say much of anything, but could be construed as lukewarm support of the Senator since Pantload doesn't go out of his way to insult or demonize him.
McCain derangement syndrome
Gee, "this display of hatred usually is the hallmark of the Democrats" !
"Mitt Romney has emerged as the last Republican with a chance to stop John McCain." -- a Whore St Journal editorial.
"John McCain: the anti-conservative" -- inhumanevents.com.
"He now pretends to be the very thing he is not: an across-the-board Reagan conservative. This fraudulent pretense inspires fundamental distrust." -- noozemax's David Limbaugh.
"So it is over. Finished. In November, we'll be sending out our most liberal, least trustworthy candidate." -- conservative hate-radio hack Michael Graham.
"Now that he is the front-runner, he is snarky and obnoxious. Dr. Freud, call your office." -- some bint at townhell.com.
"If he's our candidate, then Hillary's going to be our girl, cause she's more conservative than he is." -- syphilitic skank and raging c*nt mAnn Coulter, wiping Sean Hannity's squeedge off her dress.
"When confronted with any of his misdeeds, Senator McCain tends to fall back on his record as a war hero in Vietnam. Let’s talk sense. Benedict Arnold was a war hero but that did not exempt him from condemnation for his later betrayal." -- pretentious bore Thomas Sowell.
"If there is any justice in the world, Sen. John McCain's hopes of winning the 2008 Republican presidential nomination will suffer a body blow when people are reminded of a well-sourced story published last year describing in detail how the Arizona "maverick" seriously discussed switching parties with Democratic leaders like Tom Daschle in 2001." -- this guy.
And from fRetardia this morning:
"I will NEVER vote for McCain. NEVER!"
"McLame is a drooling arrogant old fool and should not be trusted to be a leader."
"I’m not voting this year. The field is full of losers."
"If the Republican Party wants to committ political suicide that is their call."
"Under absolutely no circumstances will I ever ever vote for McInsane."
"If we vote for the ultimate RINO in November, it will be the death of the conservative movement."
"McCain is unfit for command."
"The best reason to vote for McCain in November is that he will be 72 when he takes office. He will be a one-term President since he will be too frail and demented (more so than now) to run for re-election."
"When McCain finally gives up the ghost he will have the dishonor of being remembered as the man that destroyed the GOP."
Whose Ass Would Jesus Kick?
Got Hypocrisy?
LLLLLLET'S GET READY TO RRRRRRUMMMMMMBLE!!!!!!
Fox News aired an interview Thursday with the controversial Catholic League president, William Donahue, who took offense to comments questioning religion from comedian, and prominent athiest, Bill Maher.Yeah, that's just what Jesus would do. Fist fight. C'mon, ya Godless bastards! I'll kick your ass in the name of Jesus Christ!
That Maher deigned to question the divinity of Jesus Christ -- saying he was more skeptical of Christian mythology than that UFOs regularly visit earth -- sent Donahue into an apoplectic rage. The 60-year-old Donahue challenged his longtime nemesis Maher to a fist-fight. Fox News host Megyn Kelly offered to televise the fight right there on Americas' Newsroom.
LLLLLLET'S GET READY TO RRRRRRUMMMMMMBLE!!!!!!
Sean Hannity, weeping 911 tears, endorses Mitt Romney
It is the first time he has backed a candidate this year, sez conservatard blogger gatewaypundit, conveniently forgetting about Hannity's hot sweaty man-crush for Rudy Giuliani.
Hanniturd, on his hate-radio show: "I'll tell you right now, and I've not announced this, but I will be voting for Mitt Romney in this campaign. It's the first time I've stated it publicly. I'll state it now."Fun fact: Romney is a retired partner and still receives financial benefits from the company that purchased Clear Channel, responsible for airing "every nationally-syndicated neocon talk show host in America."
Pop Quiz
Question 1. Are You better off than you were four, or even eight years ago?
A: Uuummmmm HELL no!!
Question 2. Do you fell safer than you were....say four or even eight years ago?
A: How can I say this semi politely.....uhhhmmmm.....FUCK NO!!!
The U.S. military isn't ready for a catastrophic attack on the country, and National Guard forces don't have the equipment or training they need for the job, a commission charged by Congress reported Thursday.Thank you for being the big daddy is going to protect me from total annihalation at the hands of the brown skinned hordes party, Republicunts.
Even fewer Army National Guard units are combat-ready today than were nearly a year ago when the Commission on the National Guard and Reserves determined that 88 percent of the units were not prepared for the fight, the panel said in its report.
The independent commission is charged by Congress to recommend changes in law and policy concerning the Guard and Reserves.
Heckuvafuckinjob, asshats.
Oh.......Bite Me.
Ballgarglers.
Romney: McCain used Nixon-like tactics
A tearful Mitt Romney on Thursday accused John McCain of adopting underhanded tactics from Richard Nixon and causing Saint Ronnie of Reagan to look down from Heaven in bitter disappointment.
McCain's decision to level the troop timetable charge without leaving Romney time to rebut it before the Florida primary "was reminiscent of the Nixon era," Romney said, adding it was very anti-Ronald Reaganlike.
"I don't think I want to see our party go back to that kind of campaigning," Romney said, sobbing. "Ronald Reagan would not have approved."
Above: a mewling Mitt Romney's eyes well up after an especially harsh bon mot, fart from Sen. McQueeg.
Bush says he’s ‘fired up for the Super Bowl’
Hopes he's able to stay up to see the end of the game, no matter who's playing.
Preznit Poopypants said he plans to take time out from playing pokemons to watch the Super Bowl.
“I’ll watch it as long as I can stay up,” Bunnypants chirped in an interview with Fox Nooze's Super Propaganda Sunday, which will start sliming Dems around 9 a.m.
Makin' progress
We are so kicking ass! As Bill "Always Wrong" Kristol one-handedly types his next Dem-bashing column for the NY Times, two female suicide bombers blew themselves up at the main pet markets in central Baghdad, killing at least 73 people and wounding more than 100 in 'the deadliest bombings to strike the capital since 30,000 more American troops' began the glorious surge. No mention on how many innocent animals were killed. ☹☹☹
Fucked fact: the bombers, like Mr Kristol, were mentally retarded.
Kickinassapalooza
Demonstrating that the "insurgents" are on the run and in their last desperate throes, Bombing attacks kill 64, wound dozens at peaceful Indiana Market.
Astonishing signs of normalcy.
Quagmire Accomplished!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
