September 30, 2004

Bend over for Bush!
Ads for hemorrhoid creams: check.
Vaginal ointments: check.
Erectile dysfunction: check.
Farting: check.
Ads for the release of the new Fahrenheit 9/11 DVD? Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

CBS, NBC and ABC all refused Fahrenheit 9/11 DVD advertising during any of the networks’ news programming. Executives at Sony Pictures, the distributor of the movie for the home-entertainment market, were stunned. And even more shocked when the three networks explained why.

“They said explicitly they were reluctant because of the closeness of the release to the election. All three networks said no,” one Sony insider explains.

[T]he networks increasingly look like they’re doing everything possible to help George W. win re-election.
Jebus, Mary and Joseph...

Marines: George W Bush a privileged, AWOL pussy

"Here I sit, cheeks a-flexin'
'Bout to make another Texan."
The writing's on the wall.

What debate?
Why let the facts get in the way?

The press will say everything in their pre-packaged “performance reviews” about appearance and demeanor, while ignoring the truth that contradict Bush’s brazen lies about national security.

We have entered a parallel universe, one in which media coverage of a so-called debate has nothing to do with the reality of what the candidates are discussing. Any cub reporter could debunk Bush’s statements as lies, mistruths and deceptions with a minimum of Internet research. Any debate viewer can just go on Google and assemble long lists of articles that make Bush appear a liar or a fool when he declares that everything is going just fine in Iraq, as he did last week.

In a non-corporate controlled television media universe, where “air talent” were actually practitioners of journalism, they would compare the statements of the candidates to the truth. But with Bush, who articulates a worldview that is the political version of fantasy island, the corporate-controlled “commentators” will almost completely focus on style versus substance.
from a BuzzFlash editorial.

He just plays a drunk on TV
Georgie did not have a drinking problem, his pitbull bitch of a mother explains.
He had absolutely no trouble at all finding liquor and pouring it down his piehole.

Yes, it's perfectly clear he's a vacillating, lying asshole.

"Mass destruction-related program activities" - and the many other Bush flip-flops on going to war in Iraq.

Cesspool of greed
Honor, integrity, responsibility

Tom DeLay's Texas-size scandal
God, what a sleazy little scumbag -

Following the indictments of three top DeLay lieutenants last week, two other top DeLay associates Jack Abramoff and Michael Scanlon, key members of the fundraising and lobbying empire known as DeLay Inc., are under investigation for questionable activities.

Today the Senate will hold hearings on the whether Jack Abramoff, a top lobbyist with close ties to DeLay, created charities to hide client payments and protect income from taxation. DeLay also created children's charities to cover his political activities.

[I]t stretches credulity to maintain, as Mr. Delay does, that even though he was actively involved in raising money for his Texas group, making fund-raising appearances, and discussing its strategy and effectiveness in supporting Texas races, he was largely in the dark about its day-to-day operations.
Hey, Martha Stewart's going to prison!

Other priorities during the Vietnam war
Partyin, drinkin, gettin high...

Bush got to resign from the military???

The AWOL, war-deserting slacker wrote that he had "inadequate time" to meet future Texas Air National Guard commitments in his Nov. 1974 letter of resignation conveniently released on the eve of the first debate.

In the one-page "Tender of Resignation," Bush hand-wrote the following reason for resigning: "Inadequate time to fullfill (sic) possible future commitments."
Some are questioning the authenticity of the document, as it was not written in crayon.

It's amazing how they keep finding these records of Bunnypants' 'service' - yet none of them have explained where he was or wtf he was doing during that time.

Stayin' the course
On the highway to Hell.

You say that we are winning in Iraq. Senator Chuck Hagel, a Republican, says, "We're in deep trouble." Gen. John Abizaid is asking for more troops. Colin Powell admits the insurgency is getting worse. The CIA is pessimistic. Billions of dollars that were earmarked for reconstruction have been diverted for security. Insurgent attacks have quadrupled. Deaths of coalition troops are up. Significant chunks of Iraq are under enemy control. You have no viable military plan to make sure the January elections proceed peacefully and no political plan to reconcile competing factions.

So - what do you think of John Kerry's tan?
- Sorry. Madeleine Albright suggests some questions to ask of the lying Dictator-tot in a NY Times op-ed.

September 29, 2004

Big bad war preznit throwing tantrum over debates
Holding his breath till his stupid chimpy face turns blue, the unelected Dictator-tot threatened to take his toys and go home to boycott the debates if the rules - such as the networks doing reaction shots - were broken (via email from MikeD, who just saw it on CNN).

Chickenshit. What a spoiled, crybaby chickenshit brat. Is he afraid the cameras might pick up on his earpiece? Dick Cheney holding up cue-cards? The front of his pants getting wet?

Kerry should get all over TV and say he'll be happy to debate with no rules whatsoever. Smirky would blow an O-ring.

"Uhhhhhh... 'Merica's safer..."

I can dream...

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Are you really a Christian, Mr. pResident, or just an asshole?
The father of a kid serving in Iraq writes a letter to the editor:

Mr. pResident, I wanted you to know that I am against the war in Iraq... sir, I feel you put your own personal objectives ahead of my son’s life and the lives of those serving in the military just so you could “get even for Daddy.”

Bush's top ten flip-flops.

Bizarro universe
Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!
The whore media presstitutes' slavish devotion to the incompetant lying fuckwit occupying the WH:

It is bizarre that the punditry should be in greater moral outcry over a news organization that rushed a story to print on the basis of forged documents than a White House that rushed a nation to war on the basis of lies, distortions, fake documents and false intelligence.

[Dan] Rather rushed a story onto the air. Bush rushed a nation into war. Rather apologized, but we have yet to hear any apology from the president for taking America to war on false pretenses.

Instead, he has ducked - claiming for months that we still might find weapons. He has transformed the rationale of the war - from stopping the ''gathering threat'' that Saddam posed to nation building and bringing democracy to Iraq. He has intentionally misled Americans about Saddam's connection to terror.

Pundits all agree that the CBS mistake in judgment badly damaged the credibility of one of America's leading news organizations. But few write about how the president's credibility has been destroyed across the world.

Europe to Bush: go cheney yourself
'His re-election will be a catastrophe for the world and for America.' - those brie-eating terrrist-lovers at Le Nouvel Observateur.


It's gotta be a budget: it's got lots of numbers in it
Bunnypants talks to Faux Nooze gasbag Bill O'Reilly, September 28, 2004:

O'Reilly: How will the federal government ever pay off the federal deficit, in your opinion?
Bush: By being fiscally wise and growing our economy. {Chirp!}
O'Reilly: Do you think it can be paid off in our lifetime, though?
Bush: The deficit, yeah. You mean, for, - have the revenues exceed the expenses in the budget? Didn't Karl have you sign a loyalty oath?
O'Reilly: See, we have a big deficit here…
Duh-byuh: You're talking about the debt or the deficit?
O'Reilly: The deficit, touchhole!
The CEO preznit: Yeah. {Sound of synapses frying}
O'Reilly: Well people are saying that because we have to fight this war on terror, because of the tax cuts, oh and you know how the propaganda, it’s all over the place… {Ed: 'propaganda'??}
The MBA from an Ivy League school guy: No, I think we can - of course I think we can balance the budget - as a matter of fact, I put out a hand, a budget that says we’ll cut it in half in five years, now, that's going to mean that the Congress has got to be fiscally wise, with our money. 'Put out a hand'?? Well, at least I didn't say 'at the whim of a hat' again. Anyways, please let him change the subject, please, Jebus


O'Reilly: All right, do you think you got any preferential treatment getting into the Air Guard during Vietnam?
Bush: Cool! Easy! No. I don’t. As a matter of fact, the general that - or the commander of the unit Buck Staudt, said, said the same thing. No.
O'Reilly: So you don’t think you got any preferential treatment because you were a Bush
Bush: I don't. If I did, I have, I’m not, - I’m not aware of it, and again, the, commander of my unit, Buck Staudt, said the other day, publicly, I got no preferential treatment. {So phthththththth!}

- transcript was "edited for clarity" by Fux.

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Bill O'Reilly gets ready to
blow the pResident.

Karl! Where's muh cowboy boots?! He's taller'n me!
Li'l chimpbot scared of John Kerry's stature

One debate official said jokingly that the Bush campaign was so insistent about keeping the candidates in their designated spaces that organizers were "thinking of using flares or building a campfire" to satisfy the GOP handlers. Instead, the organizers will settle for strips of tape that are likely to be visible to television viewers, officials said.
Fun fact: Bunnypants' nannies insisted that the podiums be no closer than ten feet apart so that Poppy's Widdle Cokehead didn't come off as a midget compared to John Kerry.

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Repub president's son voting for Kerry
No, besides Ron Reagan.

"To me, the word 'Republican' has always been synonymous with the word 'responsibility,' which has meant limiting our governmental obligations to those we can afford in human and financial terms. Today's whopping budget deficit of some $440 billion does not meet that criterion... Leadership involves setting a direction and building consensus, not viewing other countries as practically devoid of significance. Recent developments indicate that the current Republican Party leadership has confused confident leadership with hubris and arrogance."
- Dwight Eisenhower's son John.

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Growing pessimism on Iraq
As Bunnypants happily continues to lie to the American people, doubts increase within US security agencies.

The CIA is pretty pissed-off. "There's no obvious way to fix it. The best we can hope for is a semi-failed state hobbling along with terrorists and a succession of weak governments." Oh good.

A growing number of career professionals within national security agencies believe that the situation in Iraq is much worse, and the path to success much more tenuous, than is being expressed in public by top Bush administration officials, according to former and current government officials and assessments over the past year by intelligence officials at the CIA and the departments of State and Defense.
"It is getting worse," agreed an Army staff officer. "There are things going on that are unbelievable to me. They have infiltrators conducting attacks in the Green Zone. That was not the case a year ago."

"They're just guessing!"

September 28, 2004

Report: Iraq war keeping thousands out of unemployment line

WASHINGTON, DC — A Department of Labor report praised the positive effect the Iraq War has had on the strained US job market, Secretary of Labor Elaine Chao said Monday.

"A whopping 140,000 U.S. citizens are gainfully employed as military personnel in Iraq," Chao said. "The war is not just keeping these young men and women out of the unemployment lines, but it's also teaching them such valuable skills as operating radar equipment, driving an M1A1 Abrams battle tank, or bagging and tagging bodies."

Chao said that most troops won't need to look for new work for another four to seven years.
- from The Onion.

How dare Kerry speak up!
'The suggestion that Kerry supports the terrorists is flat-out disgusting. '

The Los Angeles Times calls Jebus's favorite hypocrite a slimy little punk-assed coward.

Compared with Kerry, George W. Bush is a coward. This is not a reference to their respective activities during Vietnam. It refers to the current election campaign.

Bush happily benefits from the slime his supporters are spreading but refuses to take responsibility for it or to call point-blank for it to stop. He got away with this when the prime mover was the shadowy Swift boats group. Will he get away with it when the accusers are his own vice president, high officials of his own administration (Deputy Secretary of State Richard Armitage) and members of Congress from his own party (House Speaker [and Tom DeLay boytoy] Dennis Hastert or Sen. Orrin Hatch)? The answer is yes: Based on recent experience, he probably will get away with it.

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Looks like Photodump crapped out again. If it doesn't come back soon I'll look for another pic hoster.


Swagger vs. substance
Oooohh, he's so manly and resolute! And though he resembles a retarded chimp, at least he doesn't look French!

Or - horrors! - tanned.*

Let's face it: whatever happens in Thursday's debate, cable news will proclaim pResident Bush the winner. This will reflect the political bias so evident during the party conventions. It will also reflect the undoubted fact that Mr. Bush does a pretty good Clint Eastwood imitation.

But what will the print media do? Let's hope they don't do what they did four years ago.

With so much at stake, the public deserves better.
- Paul Krugman, on the miserable performance of the whore media presstitutes.

*See today's drudge report, if you want to puke from ennui.

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While we're on the subject...

Some of what we think will be GW Bush's talking points during the debates:
9/11 changed everything
Saddam used weapons against his own people!
If I have to choose between taking the word of a madman and protecting the 'Merican people, I choose the 'Merican people everytime.
The world is better off without Saddam in power
I inherited a recession
He's gonna raise taxes
We're turnin' the corner
Mixed messages embolden the terrists/hurt our troops
Saddam refused to let the inspectors in
Changin' his position

All said with that stupid squinty-eyed smirk as he's draped over the podium like a big bag of shit on a hot day.

Vote for me, fuckheads, or you're all gonna DIE!
Cheney, still linking Saddam with 9/11, threatens supporters with a coming Apocalypse if he is not elected. Even some hand-picked, loyalty-oath-signing mouthbreathers were not impressed.

For Dick Cheney's weeklong campaign swing, little was left to chance. Or so it seemed.

Campaign advance workers for each of the rallies and town hall or round-table discussions chose every participant, combing lists of Republican activists and donors.

But these advance workers could not control what Mr. Cheney said or predict that his dark message would be out of sync with what many in his ardently supportive audience wanted to hear: his stand on domestic social issues.
Being fuckheads, though, they still plan on voting reboob. Jebus...


Keepin' us safer
Though 9/11 changed everything, the FBI still does not have enough translators to handle "a growing backlog of documents and intercepts" relating to terrorism, a federal audit said on Monday.

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"It is becoming increasingly clear that the pollsters are producing the results that the people paying the bills want to hear. Even pollsters who were once thought to be above suspicion are now suspicious."
- Electoral

The village doesn't want its idiot back in the WH
Crawford TX newspaper endorses Kerry

The publishers of The Iconoclast endorsed Bush four years ago, based on the things he promised, not on this smoke-screened agenda.

Today, we are endorsing his opponent, John Kerry, based not only on the things that Bush has delivered, but also on the vision of a return to normality that Kerry says our country needs.

Four items trouble us the most about the Bush administration: his initiatives to disable the Social Security system, the deteriorating state of the American economy, a dangerous shift away from the basic freedoms established by our founding fathers, and his continuous mistakes regarding terrorism and Iraq...

We don’t need a part-time President who does not show up for duty as Commander-In-Chief until he is forced to, and who is in a constant state of blameless denial when things don’t get done.
Whoa! You go, guys!

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Yeah, but - they were guessing!
Uhhhh, remember that July report from the CIA saying how much worse things were likely to get in Iraq? Well, it wasn't the first time they warned the misadministration.

The same intelligence unit that produced a gloomy report in July about the prospect of growing instability in Iraq warned the Bush administration about the potential costly consequences of an American-led invasion two months before the war began, government officials said Monday.
The report warned about things such as violent internal conflicts, possible insurgency against US forces, rogue elements working with terrorist groups, and guerrilla warfare.

Boy, were they way off!

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Edwards slams Bush campaign's ads
VP candidate with huge pair uses the L-word.

"They will absolutely lie about anything," John Edwards said Monday at a rally in NH.

"It's Unca Dick's fault! He made me!"

"And the president says, don't worry, be happy, everything is going fine"

"It seems to me the only time pResident Bush ever changes direction in Iraq for the better is when the failure is so obvious, it can't be denied, or when political circumstances dictate it."
- Joe Biden, to CNN's WH asswhore Wolf Blitzer, 9/26/04.

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Keepin' us safer
N Korea: Hi! We have nukes!

North Korea says it has turned the plutonium from 8,000 spent nuclear fuel rods into nuclear weapons - but will shitcan it all if that incompetant numbnut in Washington abandons his "hostile policy" and is "prepared to coexist peacefully."

'Like we do with fish?' Bush asks.

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The dildo of Turin

"Far be it from me and you to put our -- put words into the Savior."
Or anything else, for that matter.

- Gee Dumbya Bush to Bill O'Reilly, 3/6/00 (seen at Eschaton).

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September 27, 2004

Ask pReznit Bush
Scenes we'd like to see...

As if: the families of three of the 1,050 soldiers killed in Iraq will hold a news conference Wednesday, Sept. 29 to unveil new TV ads and lay out questions they want the media to ask of the lying Dictator-tot concerning his decisions about the war.

Sit and rotate
"So, Mr pResident - looking forward to another terrific four years?"

Tonight through Wednesday, in the no-spin zone: hard-hitting journalist Bill O'Reilly "interviews" Squinty "Lines" McSmirkface, lying warmongering incompetant neofascist punk.

Teresa kicks heckler's ass as crowd cheers

PUEBLO, Colo. - Teresa Heinz Kerry delivered for her supporters when she talked back to a heckler who implied her husband's a flip-flopper.

During a question and answer session, a young man demanded to know why Kerry voted to give Bush authority to attack Iraq but voted against an $87 billion appropriation bill to support the war effort there.

"Is that the kind of thing he would do as president?" the man asked.

Heinz Kerry sharply asked the man whether he had read the legislation that was voted on.

When he said no, she told him that Kerry had supported $60 billion in military appropriations for Iraq, but would not vote for the full $87 billion because he considered it a "blank check."
"And we knew they'd already given Haliburton millions in no-bid contracts," she added, referring to the company "formerly" led by Dick 'Chicanery' Cheney. "That answer your question, a-hole? Now STFU."

Let freedom reign
Woman arrested at Dick 'dick' Cheney rally.

"When he said, `we've made the world a safer place,' I just had this primal need to say `no!' at the top of my voice," 54-year-old Perry S. Patterson said.

For that, even though she had a ticket for the event, she was cited for second-degree criminal trespass and escorted out by armed stooges.

Pic by ntodd.

Banana Rebooblic
Voting arrangements in Florida do not meet "basic international requirements" and could undermine the US election, former US President Jimmy Carter says.