Me-ow!
Lovely catty article about the Chickenshit-in-Chief -

On his triumphalist tour of India and Pakistan, where he hopes to wave imperiously at people he considers potential subjects, President Bush has an itinerary that's getting curiouser and curiouser. For Bush's March 2 pit stop in New Delhi, the Indian government tried very hard to have him address our parliament. A not inconsequential number of MPs threatened to heckle him, so Plan One was hastily shelved.

- from here.


Buk!
****

Above the law and accountable to no one
The White House on Monday rejected the call by more than a dozen House Democrats for a special counsel to investigate the Bush misadministration's illegal eavesdropping program, the WH saying the Dictator-tot was just "exercising his constitutional authority."

WH spokestool Scott McClellan said Democrats should instead spend their time investigating the source of the unauthorized disclosure of the classified program, which "has given the enemy some of our playbook." {Oh please. - Ed.}

"I really don't think there's any basis for a special counsel," McClellan also said.

Hell, it's not like he got a blowjob, for petessake, right? Yeesh.

This will certainly add points in their favor
Lou Dobbs is reporting that Dubai Ports World officials have tried to silence him and get CNN to suppress his reports.

Popular war preznit's ratings at all-time low
Bush's job approval rating has fallen to the atomic number of selenium - headline at Fark.

The latest CBS News poll finds President Bush's approval rating has dump-dived into the crapper fallen to an all-time low of 34 percent - down from 42 percent last month - while pessimism about the Iraq war has risen to a new high.

Americans are also overwhelmingly opposed to the Bush-backed deal giving a Dubai-owned company operational control over six major U.S. ports. Seven in 10 Merica-hating Bush-bashers an' terrist-lovers Americans, including 58 percent of Republicans, say they're opposed to the agreement.

Even on fighting terrorism, which has long been a strong suit for Mr. Bush, his ratings dropped lower than ever. Half of Americans say they disapprove of how he's handling the war on terror, while 43 percent approve.

Thirty-four percent. Heh.


34%. 34.
Hee hee.
****

Makin' progress, Bush 'optimistic'
Planet Earth: options in Iraq worsen as unrest grows, thousands are killed.

(Feb. 27) -- Iraq's intensified religious battles could undermine the Bush administration plan for cutting the number of US troops there, experts say.

"This throws a monkey wrench in the administration's strategy of standing down as the Iraqis stand up, because it suggests that many Iraqis are standing up to fight other Iraqis," says James Phillips, a defense scholar at the conservative Heritage Foundation.

Truthiness
The NYTimes profiles Steven Colbert and the lovable patsies in the "Better Know a District" segments of The Colbert Report.

Coast Guard: you're fucking crazy, dudes
Newly-released findings by the US Coast Guard puts kibosh on rethugs' re-assuming the position on their knees before the WH.

Republican congressional leaders had hoped to curtail bipartisan outcries over a United Arab Emirates-based company's pending takeover of some US port operations by brokering an agreement for a new investigation of the deal's potential security risks.

Then came the disclosure that the U.S. Coast Guard had raised concerns weeks ago that, because of intelligence gaps, it could not determine whether the UAE company, DP World, might support terrorist operations.

Looking to head off a Republican revolt, Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist and other GOP congressional leaders sought to ensure the White House would be able to stand with members of the president's own party and counter Democratic criticism that they were soft on terrorism when lawmakers returned to Washington from a weeklong break.

FUBAR fact: The Dubai company participates in the Arab boycott against Israel. Participation in such a boycott is a violation of US law.

Great moments in television
In which hero/patriot Jack Cafferty lays the smackdown on the strong on terra rethugs, with a special bitchslap for the craven braindead Senate Majority leader.

JACK CAFFERTY, CNN ANCHOR: Wolf, when the news first broke over the Dubai port deal a week ago, the outrage in Washington was palpable. Members of President Bush's party in open revolt, congress going to stop the deal from happening, the president going to beat over legislation if they did. Fast forward a week and the same bunch of clowns that short-circuited the review process the first time -- that's the Committee on Foreign Investment in the United States, or CFIUS -- is going to get a do over.

This time they're going to do the whole 45-day review like they were supposed to do the first time, but didn't bother. When the review's complete, it will land on the president's desk for his approval. From the sounds of some in Congress over the weekend now, they're all busy backing down.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

A beaming BILL FRIST, Karl's finger firmly up his pooper: We all trust the president. We are behind the president 100 percent and believe his decision is, in all likelihood, absolutely the right one. But until we have the opportunity to ask the same questions so that we can go back to our constituents and have that same comfort level, we are just asking for a pause.

(END VIDEO CLIP) Asshat.

CAFFERTY: What a joke. Apparently selling control of six American ports to a country with ties to terrorism is OK, we just have to wait a while. Right, Senator Frist? You snivelling drip-hole?

Later...

CAFFERTY: The question is this: is it a mistake the members of Congress back down over the port deal?

Kevin in Sandy Hook, Virginia, writes, "If you're a Republican looking to keep control in November, it'll be disastrous if Congress is unable to stop the deal, regardless of its real merits or shortcomings. It is political suicide for anyone running in 2006 to support it."

Karla in Birmingham, Alabama: "Members of Congress who back down and knuckle under the Bush administration's demands that Arabs be allowed to guard our ports are traitors, plain and simple."

Bill in Madison Heights, Michigan: "They've already backed down. They're just taking up time to smooth it over and cool it down. Some are already talking money instead of America. Benedict Arnold is smiling in his grave."

Perry in Council Bluffs, Iowa: "This is the first sign of any backbone in Congress in over six years. Seeing them on the job makes some of us feel good."

Franc in New York writes, "Of course, it's a mistake to back down. This is the single most important issue facing us today, and President Bush simply cannot be allowed to unilaterally decide this one with the threat of a veto. Congress should muster up the courage and the votes to challenge King George."

And Patricia in Atlanta: "Is it a mistake? Nope, just politics as usual, like my favorite shoes, flip-flops! I fully expect that this deal will close and all the concerns we have will be swept away under the rug" -- Wolf.

BLITZER: Jack, thanks very much. :: sob ::

Tweety sings the praises of Preznit Securitude
On Friday's Noballs, the Bush suck-up whose Tiger Beat-style ardor for Chimpy McStupid has pretty well crossed over into the grotesque came up with another corker. Here he's talking about Bush's resolute petulant stand in the firestorm over the Dubai port debacle:

MATTHEWS: Well, he looks like he's a wise man now and a man of restraint, almost Atticus Finch. You know, almost the guy against the mob outside this police station.

Gag. What a sacrilege. Jebus, Tweets, he looks more like a stale pile of dogshit somebody forgot to scrape off the front steps, you drooling idiot. What a dumbfuck.


STFU
****

Things that make you go hmmmmmm
I just looked under the sofa cushions and there they were!

Last week the White House “discovered” 250 pages of emails from Dick Cheney’s office related to the Valerie Plame leak and turned them over to Patrick Fitzgerald.

The emails are said to be explosive, {Heh - Ed.} and may prove that Cheney played an active role in the effort to discredit Plame’s husband, former Ambassador Joseph Wilson, a vocal critic of the Bush administration’s prewar Iraq intelligence, sources close to the investigation said.

The sources added that the emails could prove that Cheney lied to FBI investigators when he was interviewed about the leak in early 2004.

- via Blah3.

Cheney may resign after mid-terms
Looking forward to drinking full-time, shooting people in the face, avoiding prison.

The power behind the throne retire? I can't see it. But, for what it's worth:

Grain of salt/tinfoil beanie time. Dick Cheney, who once drunkenly shot a 78-year-old man in the face, might quit shortly after the mid-term elections, according to senior Republican sources. The sources said Cheney may be "persuaded" to step down as he becomes "an increasing liability" to the popular Chimpy McStupid. There is a growing rift between the president and the vice president and their staffs, sources told World Nut Daily.

They said the White House was expecting Mr. Cheney to defend himself against charges from his former chief of staff, Lewis Libby, that the vice president ordered him to relay classified information. Such a charge could lead to a congressional investigation and even impeachment proceedings.

Well, there you are. We report, you decide.


"Leave this idiot in charge? I don't think so."
****

Corrupt, fascist scumbag uses DHS IRS to subdue political enemies
Sleaz-O-Meter® implodes

The Internal Revenue Service recently audited the books of a Texas nonprofit group that was critical of campaign spending by [indicted piece of shit] Tom DeLay after receiving a request for the audit from one of DeLay's political allies in the House.

The lawmaker, House Ways and Means Committee member Sam Johnson (R-Naturally), was in turn responding to a complaint about the group, Texans for Public Justice, from a Washington lawyer close to DeLay and his fundraising apparatus, according to IRS documents.

- from the WaComPo via AmericaBlog.

Cool

Workmen in Ireland have discovered a 1000-year-old stone tunnel where people might have hidden from Vikings.

"It would be a brave man that would come down one of these after you - not knowing the plan of it and not knowing at which corner he stuck his head round you'd be waiting on the other side with an axe or whatever."

The olden days were so awesome.

An ancient sun temple with statues resembling Yul Brynner Ramses has been found under an outdoor market in Cairo. Can you imagine? It is so cool that people are still finding stuff like that. The bad part is they're finding them while they're putting up yet more condos made of stone-a housing or shopping complexes. Down the road from us a Revolutionary War building was torched just to put up another fucking goddamned bank. Like 3 within 50 yards of each other wasn't enough.

The GOP: tougher on national security
Oh really: On top of the whole ports debacle, now all 50 governors say the Bush misadministration is weakening the National Guard.

Thousands to protect Smirky McFlightsuit on India visit
Bubble-boy to be kept "untouchable"

About 5,000 personnel including snipers, commandos and US marines using helicopters, bomb detectors and electronic jammers will protect our brave, manly war preznit during his visit to India this week, officials said on Monday.

Besides the inner-ring of security forces, an outer cordon would be deployed "as deep as possible" to thwart any attack by a rocket launcher. {Rocket launcher?? - Ed.} Surrounding the outer cordon will be phalanxes of tinfoil-helmeted guard dogs, 'black ops' agents disguised as dancing girls, and two-way plebney lights mounted onto robotic cattle. The entire entourage will be enclosed in a plexiglas™ pope-mobile-type bubble impervious to nooculer blasts cooties.

I wonder if he'll avail himself of the marvelous Indian cuisine while he's there or if he'll bring his personal chefs over to BBQ ribs for him, the clueless twit.

Pic by G Steve.

Living in a pre-9/11 world
"President Bush now is apparently giving an Arab country control to American ports. Does that seem like a good idea? If he keeps this up, people are going to start questioning his judgment." - David Letterman.

"It's hard to believe that just one week after the vice president of the United States shot a man in the face, an even bigger story would come along..."

"We've defended them on wiretaps, we've defended them on Iraq, we've defended them on so many things he's tried to accomplish, that to be left out here supporting this thing in a vacuum is kind of offensive," Republican Representative Mark Foley on Sunday after the agreement to the 45-day national security review was announced. "If it's just about saving face and letting us humor ourselves, we won't be satisfied."

We'll see. We'll see how long it takes before Karl buys his ass.

FUBAR fact: Al-Qaeda has infiltrated key government agencies in the UAE, according to a "disturbing" document released by the US military. The GOP: tough on national security.

Life in the seraglio
Senate Majority Leader/bunghole Bill Frist: "Uhhhh! Uhhhh! Uhhhh! Uhhhhhhhh!"

The Bush misadministration takes "laxness to a new level"
On Sunday, the Australian government issued the following alert: "We advise you to exercise a high degree of caution in the United Arab Emirates because of the high threat of terrorist attack."

"Bush is choosing sides, and he's choosing an Arab oil country over our national security interests." - John Aravosis, AmericaBlog.

Nothing to see here, move along
Democratic Congressional candidate and outspoken critic of the Iraq war put on "no-fly" list.

The physician-candidate told the Plattsburgh paper that the secrecy surrounding his name's addition to the "no-fly" list, and the prospect that it might be there because of his anti-war views, is outrageous.

"This is like McCarthyism in the 1950s."

Did not! Did too!
Now, now - there's enough incompetency to go around...

Former FEMA head Michael Brown escalated his campaign to shift blame from himself yesterday by pointing an accusing finger straight at President Bush.

Brown said Bush should have known by Sunday, Aug. 28, the day before landfall, that the storm would be a cataclysm.

"The alarm bells were being sounded on Sunday," he said. "Because not only was I having conferences with the President on the telephone, but he was also on the video conference with all of the state emergency managers."

A White House report released this week ladled blame on Brown for the bungled response to Hurricane Katrina - though not his boss, Homeland Security chief Michael Chertoff, or anyone in the White House.

What... a... surprise.


"Me? How kin you blame me?! Ah wuz on vacashun!"
****

Ho-bag Ho-ward
Avedon Carol at The Sideshow points us to a list of blogs WH WHore wHoward Fineman reads while listening to Bunnypants' radio addresses to the faithful and trying to jerk off his vestigial weener. Funny, I don't see I Love Karl Rove anywhere on there. Maybe he's too embarrassed? He should be.

Traitorous commie troop-hating terrist-lover enabling the enemy
Howard Dean: "One can't doubt that the American objective in Iraq has failed."

Uhhh, no, wait, it's conservative William F. Buckley.

Mission accomplished
"The gravest crisis since the US invasion in 2003"

Iraq's defense minister warned on Saturday of a civil war that "will never end" and said he was ready to put tanks on the streets as violence flared. Meanwhile, the US looks to be "increasingly powerless" as violence, corruption and "the blurry lines of guerrilla warfare are clouding any hopes of victory."

Abroad, there are concerns that the Iraqi sectarian violence could inflame the entire Middle East if it gets out of hand.

I guess it could finally turn into the smoking mushroom cloud threat the misadministration warned us about. Swell. Heckuva job, assholes.
****

Resolootnitude
The Bush misadministration said Friday it won't reconsider its approval for the United Arab Emirates to take over operations at six US ports*. "We're not going to admit we made a mistake," said a WH spokesman. "Plus, this will all blow over in a day or two. Once Karl finishes threatening republican holdouts."

Republican Tom Kean, the former head of the Sept. 11 commission, hadn't gotten the memo yet. The deal "never should have happened," he told reporters.

"The fact that you are putting a company in place that could already be infiltrated by al-Qaida is such a mindboggling dumbfuck idea you'd have to be a fucking retar a silly thing to do," said Mike Scheuer, who headed the CIA's Osama bin Laden unit until 1999.


"Trust me. Heh heh."

*Actually, its more like 21.
****

Massive hit on Bush over ports
In a new poll, only 17 percent of Americans approve of the deal to turn over control of US ports to the United Arab Emirates, a "major blow" to Smirky McStupid's perceived leadership in the "war on terror."

Heh
"Cheney slays 4 in Olympic biathlon incident."

Swallowing kool-aid, WH spunk
The second in command at the Pentagon said Thursday that people who oppose allowing Dubai to take over management of US ports are threatening national security and enabling terrorists.

"The terrorists want our nation to become distrustful," Deputy Defense Secretary/asshat Gordon England said. "They want us to become paranoid and isolationist, and my view is we cannot allow this to happen. It needs to be just the opposite."

Otherwise, the terrists win! Or... whatever!

Friday cat blogging


Berry and SpiceGirl after a hard day of ... well, sleeping.
****

You can't make this stuff up
Though worthless, Homeland Security head Michael Chertoff was not aware of the port deal until it had been approved. Because everyone knows that port security has no bearing on homeland security.

Bush backing down in US ports battle
Flip... flop!

The White House is folding like a house of cards attempting to remove Congress's death grip from their swelling, painful balls placate members of Congress angered over plans to let a Dubai company run several major US ports, with a top administration official saying that a delay in the deal is possible.

Just days after Preznit Resolvitood threw down the gauntlet and vowed to veto any bill that could delay the transaction, Rasputin-like weasel Karl Rove said in a radio interview that he told Squinty McNumbnutz to get out there and do some major backpedaling the president "might consider" a postponement after all.

That's mighty white of him.

Reaping what you sow
So, has the misadministration said yet that investigating the UAE port deal "aids and comforts our enemies"? *

The chickens are coming home to roost. A White House that routinely brands anyone who disagrees with its positions as soft on terrorism is now complaining that election-bound lawmakers are callously using the ports deal to frighten voters. A White House that invaded Iraq as a substitute for defeating Al Qaeda is frustrated because Congress is using the company, Dubai Ports World, as a stand-in for all the intractable perils of the Middle East. Well, they can suck my weeping dick.

- from a NY Times editorial. Mostly.



*On edit: yep.
****

Shooting themselves in the face foot
After telling the nation over and over again that they were stronger on security than those pansy America-hating terrist-coddling librals, the Bushies have sold that security to their pals, donors and bidnez buddies. Turns out that not only did the UAE give $1 million to the George Duhbya Bush preznental lieberry, but they're major investors in Bush-the-elder's Carlyle Group and brother Neil Bush's software company. Feeling safer yet?

Uhhhh, one more thing...
UAE terminal takeover extends to 21 US ports

The United Arab Emirates government-owned company is poised to take over port terminal operations and security in 21 American ports, far more than the six widely reported.

Port facility operators have a major security responsibility, and one that could be exploited by terrorists if they infiltrate the company, said an attorney representing a port facility operator in Florida.

Oh good. What's next, bidding out airport security?

Well, Jaffa's illness is still a mystery. The ultrasound showed he has malformed kidneys - "we've never seen anything like that before!" - so now we have to wait for the results of a biopsy. Blah. Thank you everyone who wrote in! Hopefully we'll know something more by Tuesday.


Rewriting history books
This is so #ucking pathetic -

Actual cover of book (via amazon.com):


Bush nanny Karen Hughes' version:

Why didn't they just draw a fucking halo over his kingly head while they were at it?

Stubborn shit-for-brains his own worst enema
Crappy idea may send poll numbers further down toilet.

Bush is now putting his entire presidency at risk, thanks to incompetence by his staff — and his own I-know-best stubbornness on the port furor.

Bush has landed fellow Republicans in Congress with a nightmare choice: They can create a diplomatic incident by blocking the United Arab Emirates takeover of ports like New York, or they can commit political suicide.

"No member of Congress is going to risk a TV ad run by their opponent showing Arab street thugs burning American flags and waving AK-47s superimposed over port icons like the Statue of Liberty," says a veteran Republican.

- the normally brownnosing NY comPost.

CREW Files Ethics Complaint Against Frothy, Rule-Breaking Douchebag
Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) have filed a complaint with the Senate Ethics Committee charging that Senator Rick Santorum (R-Naturally) violated the Senate gift rule by accepting a mortgage from a bank that serves rich clients and whose officials have contributed thousands to Santorum’s campaign and political action committee.

White House Report Cites Katrina Response Failures
Accountability...

New report from the White House concludes that the Katrina response was everyone else's fault.

Makin' progress
Iraq forces on alert as the shiite hits the fan.

Killings mount: the death toll in Iraq now tops 100, and fears rise of an all-out civil war.

Pic by Karin von Ansbach.

US terror fears, long stoked by Bush, now being turned against him
"Not just NO — but HELL NO."

For almost five years Preznit Resolootnitude has warned Americans to fear terrorism, but now those words have come back to bite him in the ass.

The president, who has cast himself as America's protector against terrorism and Islamic militancy, has been thrown on the defensive by a bipartisan revolt over his administration's approval of a state-owned company from the United Arab Emirates assuming operation of six major U.S. seaports.

Even ultra-conservative partisan crook Tom DeLay has turned on Chimpy McFuckhead. "Politically, for the president, it is a huge mistake for him to be defending this decision. The president will be overturned," he said.

Bush has long been successful in persuading Americans they were under constant threat and he was the best man to protect them.

"That's what makes this story so ironic. I guess you can't have it both ways," pollster John Zogby said.

Heh.

Cat scan
Last week we brought Jaffa to the vet because he was losing weight. We were told that he doesn't have diabetes, worms or a thyroid problem, but he's developed a heart murmur, and has an increase of renal enzymethingiemacallits in his blood. So tomorrow he goes in for an ultrasound. Poor kitty.

Rule of law
The Bush misadministration failed to conduct a manditory, legally-required investigation before approving the UAE port deal. Feeling safer yet?

Flip... flop
Senator/ignoramus Orrin 'pathological liar' Hatch is now backpedaling on his comment that "nobody with brains" would deny the connection between Saddam Hussein and al-Qaida.

Sad fact: Hatch is a member of the Senate 'Intelligence' Committee.

That's Crazy Talk!
The truculent, stubborn, and stupid Boy King met with reporters on Air Force One yesterday to make a statement about the terrist port deal. And how he'd veto any bill to make us safer. Even though he knew nothing about it. We're on a plane!

QUESTION: Mr. President, leaders in Congress, including Senator Frist, have said that they'll take action to stop the port control shift if you don't reverse course on it. You've expressed your thoughts here, but what do you say to those in Congress who plan to take legislative action?

THE PRESIDENT: They oughtta listen to what I have to say about this. They ought to look at the facts, and understand the consequences of what they're going to do. But if they pass a law, I'll deal with it, with a veto.

QUESTION: It seems like -- you've already heard from different administration officials, saying, not in as strong terms as you have today, that there aren't problems with this deal, that the deal should go forward. But they seem to want more of a briefing. Would you be willing to give any additional briefings, either --

THE PRESIDENT: We'll be glad to send --

QUESTION: -- either in a classified basis, or --

THE PRESIDENT: I don't see why not. Again, you're asking -- I need to make sure I understand exactly what they're asking for. Yes. Oh, you're not the press.

PRESIDENTIAL ASSWIPER DAN BARTLETT: I could ask a question. You showed some strong leadership today -- (laughter, kissing noises, international symbol for 'handjob')

QUESTION: Why is it so important to you, sir, that you take on this issue as a political fight? Clearly, there's bipartisan --

THE PRESIDENT: I don't view it as a political fight. So do you want to start your question over? I view it as a good policy.

QUESTION: Why is it -- clearly --

THE INTERRUPTER-IN-CHIEF: Are you talking about the energy issue?

QUESTION: No, I'm sorry, the ports issue. Asshat.

THE PRESIDENT: It's not a political issue.

QUESTION: But there clearly are members of your own party who will go to the mat against you on this.

THE PRESIDENT: It's not a political issue.

QUESTION: Why are you -- to make this, to have this fight?

THE DICTATOR-TOT: I don't view it as a fight. I view it as me saying to people what I think is right, the right policy.

Right.

Bush 'Unaware' of Ports Deal Before Approval
Oh fucking PLEASE.

After taking major heat on this for days, the White House now says Bush was
"unaware of the pending sale of shipping operations at six major U.S. seaports to a state-owned business in the United Arab Emirates until the deal already had been approved by his administration."

What a load of fucking horseshit. Developing...

Smegmentum
After being abandoned by the Republican leadership on the Dubai port deal, the only politician sticking up for Bush (heh) is - - Joe Lieberman.

Fla. GOP Poll: Bush No Reagan
He's much more stupid, say respondents.

The results of a three-day poll of likely repug voters in Florida showed that only 40 percent of those polled approved of President Bush's overall job performance; with 49% disapproving; and 11% as clueless as the Preznit. When asked to rate Bush's handling of the economy, 39% approved; 49% disapproved; and 12% were watching squirrels.

The White House: Tone-Deaf or Brain-Dead?
Yes.

Mr President, are you nuts? {:::::::! - Ed.}

That giant sucking sound you hear is one really big mob of congressional Republicans evacuating their side of the aisle en masse and galloping over to agree with their left-coast colleagues as fast as they possibly can that the summary selloff of U.S. port operations to Dubai is your basic bad idea. Why, this whole heretofore sorrowfully rent nation has suddenly just come together as one.

- from a NY Daily News editorial.

Foolish and indefensible: another Harriet Miers moment for the Boy King.

What is the president thinking? {make them stop! - Ed.}

Does George W. Bush really mean to use his first veto, after more than five years in office, on a bill that has Republicans and Democrats marching in lock-step — on national-security grounds?

To Bush, this is all a matter of anti-Arab profiling: "I want those who are questioning it to step up and explain why all of a sudden a Middle Eastern company is held to a different standard than a [British] company," which last week was sold to the UAE firm.

With all due respect, Mr. President, here's why:
* The UAE — and, specifically, Dubai — has been a breeding ground for terrorism.

* Its banking system — considered the commercial center of the Arab world — provided most of the cash for the 9/11 hijackers.

* It continues to stonewall the U.S. Treasury Department's efforts to track al Qaeda's bank accounts.

* Some of the operational planning for 9/11 took place inside the UAE.

* It exchanged ambassadors with the Taliban when the latter subjugated Afghanistan.

* And it trans-shipped weapons to Iran.

Security at the ports is already lax enough; there's no need to bring in another compromising element to what has been America's most vulnerable point of entry, post-9/11.

- Shit, when even the NY comPost is against you, you know you're in deep doodoo. Ditto the World Nut Daily.


O rly?
****

Heh. This always cracks me up.

Bush Blames Cuts at Energy Lab on Mix-Up
Preznit Accountabilitude lied said Tuesday that a "budgeting mix-up" was the reason 32 workers were laid off and then reinstated just before his visit. Yeah, that's the ticket.

"'Yore doin' great work here,' said Bush, who picked up a bottle of ethanol and sniffed it.

"Sometimes, decisions made as the result of the appropriations process, the money may not end up where it was supposed to have gone," he said. "It's got nothin' to do with makin' me look good. Kin ah keep this bottle?"

"This is a series of photo-ops entirely driven by polls that tell the president that he isn't doing enough on energy. The president is talking a good game, but his budget doesn't back it up," said Phil O'Dendron, president of the National Environmental Trust. "Lying fuckwit."

Great Moments in Television
First, Jack Cafferty weighs in on the Dictator-tot's selling of US port security to a terrorist-riddled nation:

JACK CAFFERTY, CNN ANCHOR: Wolf, this may be the straw that finally breaks the camel's back. This deal to sell control of six U.S. ports to a company controlled by the United Arab Emirates.

There are now actually senators and congressman and governors and mayors telling the White House, you are not going to do this. It's about time. No one has said no to this administration on anything that matters in a very long time. Well, this matters. It matters a lot.

If this deal is allowed to go through, we deserve whatever we get. A country with ties to terrorists will have a presence at six critical doorways to our country. If anyone thinks that terrorists in time won't figure out how to exploit that than we're all done.

Nothing has happened yet, mind you, but if our elected representatives don't do everything in their power to stop this thing, each of us should vow to work tirelessly to see that they are removed from public office.

We're at a crossroads. Which way will we choose?

Yeah, baby. Next: Republican Congressman Curt Weldon. Yerp, Republican:

REP. CURT WELDON (R), PENNSYLVANIA: A couple thoughts, Wolf. First of all, last time I checked the Constitution there are three separate and equal branches. This White House did nothing to communicate with Congress on this deal.

With all of the concern about port security going on in America right now, at a minimum, leaders of both parties should have been brought in from both houses and had this deal reviewed. That didn't occur. And it's a little late right now to announce it and say the government is behind it. We're not going stand for that.

And second, we're not talking about any company from any other country. We're talking about a company with a majority interest owned by another government, a government that does not recognize the state of Israel. That would be like having America as a nation go over and buy the airport in Dubai. The Emirates would never allow that to happen. And we're not going to allow this to happen. It's wrong, it wasn't properly communicated. And the Congress has grave concerns.

In my case, Philadelphia is a strategic military port. We worked hard for that designation. It's where all of our military armaments go through in time of need and to think that we'd have that strategic military port controlled by an Emirates government organization is just ridiculous.

BLITZER: The president's argument is if it's OK for a British- owned company to operate the port in Philadelphia and other ports, why can't an Arab-owned company that he says has a very good track record do the same thing? What kind of signal he's afraid that would send to the Arab world?

WELDON: Well, you drooling simpleton, he should have thought about that before this deal was reviewed by the agencies. It reminds me of Bill Clinton when he told the president of Taiwan he couldn't get a Visa to come to America and the Congress overwhelmingly overruled the president. There is a need for communication in this government. We're not subservient to the White House and in this case, the White House did not communicate with the Congress.
...
WELDON: I can tell you my colleagues on both sides of the aisle are extremely upset. We're going to fight this every step of the way. Hopefully the White House will now try to reach out as opposed to using a bully pulpit to beat up on the Congress which is simply trying to do its job.

Governor Has Faith In President's Ports Sale Decision
Duh!


"You'd better, or I'll finish cutting your nuts off!"
****

Face time
Brit Hume gave himself a pat on the back for letting dick Cheney shoot a load at his forehead. "My job was to simply sit there," Hume said on F-Nooze Sunday, "and take it in the face like a good American."

Frist Takes Head Out of Ass, News at 11!
Senate Republican leader Bill Frist, after reviewing the videotape, called Tuesday for the Bush misadministration to quit whoring our seaports out to the United Arab terrists Emirates.

ACLU Panel Urges Impeachment Over NSA Spying
C'mon, it's not like they lied about a blowjob...

While White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan was asserting Monday that the National Security Agency's domestic surveillance program was a vital tool in the war against terrorism, a panel assembled by the American Civil Liberties Union was arguing that President Bush should be impeached over the spying program.

"If the political alignment in the country were otherwise, impeachment would be a no-brainer," said Laurence Tribe, professor of constitutional law at Harvard University.

Geez, Not ANOTHER One
It was a busy week for gaping, enabling sphincters.

Sen. Orrin Hatch, lying brainless twat for the Bush White House, says a lot of really really stupid things, dribbles Rove-juice on tie.

Man-on-dog's Mortgage Raises Interest, Eyebrows
Integrity.

Senator/douchebag Rick Santorum and his wife received a $500,000, five-year freedom bribe mortgage for their Leesburg, Va., home from a private Philadelphia bank run by a major campaign donor - even though its stated policy is to make loans only to its "affluent" investors, which the senator is not.

Good-government experts said the mortgage raises serious questions about Santorum's conduct at a time when he is the Senate GOP's point man on ethics reform. They said it would be a violation of the Senate's ethics rules if Santorum received something a regular citizen could not get.

It gets better and frothier: a probe into Santorum's political finances also found "unorthodox expenses" and interesting accounting methods.

News experiment:
1. Predict how long it will take before the MSM covers this story.
2. Predict how long it would take if "Santorum" had been substituted with "Hillary Clinton."
3. Predict how long it will take before the MSM brings up the "but Clinton defense" (see #1).

Schmidt Demands Apology For Cake Incident
Having solved all other problems, Congresswoman/harpy Jean Schmidt is demanding political opponents formally apologize for slicing up a cake made to look like her. She's just lucky they didn't take a dump on it, soak it in vomit, then feed it to the weasels. In Hell.

Lab Jobs Restored Ahead of Bush Speech
Taken away afterwards.

Two weeks ago, 32 workers, including eight researchers, were laid off at the Energy Department's National Renewable Energy Laboratory in Golden, Colorado.

Then, over the weekend, just before Bush's planned visit to the lab on Tuesday to promote his alternative energy proposals, the government restored the jobs.

"Heh. Makin' progress. Switch grass. Wood chips. Corn. Ain't just fer likker, yuh know. Heh heh. Wood."
****

GOP Governors Threaten to Block Port Deal
The usually braindead New York Gov. George Pataki and Maryland Gov. Robert Ehrlich on Monday asked just wtf was Bush thinking when he promised six crucial US ports to the United Arab Emirates, a country with a long involvement in terrorism.

Ehrlich, concerned about security at the Port of Baltimore, said Monday he was "very troubled" that Maryland officials got no advance notice before the Bush administration approved the Arab company's takeover of the operations at the six ports.

"We needed to know before this was a done deal, given the state of where we are concerning security," Ehrlich told reporters. "Jebus Christ."

The arrangement brought protests from both political parties in Congress and a lawsuit in Florida from a company affected by the takeover.

Republican Sen. Lindsay Graham of South Carolina said Sunday that the administration approval was "unbelievably tone deaf politically." Hearings on the deal have been called for this week in Congress.

Fun fact: the misadministration is giving of the ports to "a 9/11-linked Arab nation after a flimsy investigation and with weak guarantees the company in charge can stop Osama Bin Laden from infiltrating," republican Rep. Peter King said.

Pic by idle hands.

Gpuke Senator's Credibility Is On the Line
No, not that one.
Not that one either.
:: sigh :: Nope, not him.
No, the other one.

We've written about Pat "WH Puppet" Roberts before - like when the NY Times practically called him a gaping, enabling sphincter with Karl Rove-stank all over him. Now even his disgusted and embarrassed constituents say he's a craven misadministration lapdog.

Many Kansans, including members of The Eagle editorial board, have long admired Sen. Pat Roberts for his plainspokenness and reputation for fair brokering of issues. So it's troubling that Roberts, chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee, is fast gaining the reputation in Washington DC as a reliable partisan apologist for the Bush administration on intelligence and security controversies.

From Abu Ghraib abuses to secret CIA detainee prisons to the Valerie Plame affair, critics say, Roberts has become a dependable shill for the White House, ever ready to shield Bush policy from criticism and ever willing to compromise Congress' legitimate oversight role.

What's bothering many is that Roberts seems prepared to write the Bush team a series of blank checks to conduct the war on terror, even to the point of ignoring policy mistakes and possible violations of law.

That's not oversight -- it's looking the other way.

... while spreading them wide open. Good jorb, numbnuts! Enjoy your legacy of being just another shameless, pathetic WH whore!


For 'Pattycake' Roberts.
****

Actual Time cover.
****

Historians rate the 10 worst presidential blunders of all time
Let's see... Abramoff, Abu Ghraib, CIA leaks, Guantanamo, illegal wiretaps, Katrina, lying about WMDs? Ignoring a PDB entitled Bin Laden Determined to Attack Inside the US? No.

Bill Clinton's blowjob? Yes.

New seven wonders of the world list narrowed
Dick Cheney's massive ego doesn't make the cut. Rather ironically, the Statue of 'Liberty' does.

View the finalists here.

There went 4 hours of my life I'll never get back
Great fucking toe cheese on toast points - I'm still slackjawed with ennui. I thought it couldn't get any worse than SciFi's Chupacabra: Dark Seas - I would have passed out except I was hoping to see every one of the characters ripped to bloody shreds. Squee! I'm the captain's daughter! Aren't I hot! Giggle! Cunt. Then I saw Rottweiler. Good Lord, what a never-ending plotless travesty. Never-ending until I finally shut it off after 45 minutes. Jebus. Watching grass grow would've been more entertaining. Hell, watching Mansquito again would've been more entertaining.

The death of outrage
But... but... Bill Clinton got a blowjob!

The Daily Show had a news quiz the other night. In it they showed Scott McClellan during one of his press cons refusing to comment on an ongoing investigation, and you were supposed to pick which one he was referring to. Only instead of picking A, B, C or D, the list went on ad infinitum. From Abramoff, to Abu Ghraib, CIA leaks, Tom DeLay, Guantanamo, illegal wiretaps, Katrina, Scooter Libby, WMDs, it literally went on and on.

Now the AP is reporting that Cheney's accident "tale" is "filled with discrepancies."

Every day it's something else. Yet the American people just sit there playing with themselves, mumbling don't mess wih Texas. I could puke.

One of those pellets must've lodged in his brain
No, this is not an article from The Onion --

Rethugs keep Bush’s dirty little secret
"They promised transparency and gave us a brick wall of lies."

Worthless Senate Intelligence Committee Chairman Pat Roberts (R-Naturally) announced yesterday that he reached an agreement with the White House to "fix" the National Security Agency (NSA) wiretapping program.

The "fix" is in, all right.

All this comes after a series of closed door meetings with Vice President/drunken armed cyborg Dick Cheney. And while some senators say they need more time to think about what actions to take, Sen. Rockefeller believes “this is another stalling tactic.”

While the Bush misadministration is trying to stonewall any investigation into the illegal wiretapping program, legal troubles are now emerging.

Abramoff admits to photos with Bush, feelings of betrayal

In the photograph taken at the same event as the one published by Time, Abramoff said he and the President were discussing working out with weights.

Other photographs included a picture of Bush and Abramoff standing together with “Cheshire cat grins”; pictures of Bush and what Abramoff characterized as the “bearded fatter me”; a picture of Bush chatting with Abramoff’s twin daughters (“Oh, you are twins; I have twins,” Abramoff quoted Bush as saying); a picture of Bush, House speaker Dennis Hastert, and Abramoff’s children; and a picture of Laura Bush with Abramoff’s wife, Pam, and the twin girls, who had led the Pledge of Allegiance at the event (said Abramoff: “Laura went ga-ga over their being twins”).

A frustrated Abramoff, who feels he has been abandoned by many of his conservative friends, added, “They will come up with excuse after excuse as to how and why he did not know me. I could have spent four months alone with him in Bolivia and he would not know me.”

Clicky.
*****

Mr President, you are just so awesome!!!
Chimpy McFlightsuit takes questions from a Tampa audience. I haven't seen so many lips and assholes in one room since I toured a hot dog factory.

Q: Mr. President, I just wanted to take an opportunity to tell you I think our country is blessed to have you as our President.

Q: We are very thankful that you don't make your decisions based on the polls, like previous Presidents have.

Q: I wanted to just keep you apprised that things are good now, the economy is good, interest rates are low.

Q: I just want to tell you that I'm blessed to be here today with you in this room, and we all love you.

Q: Mr. President, it's an honor to be here with you today, and I thank you so much for the time that you take to share with us.

Q: And my question for you is -- and I commend you for your Supreme Court picks. I thank you for your bold stance in who you picked -- (applause) -- my question is, with my son, this is the future of America. And my question is, where do you believe we're headed?

Q: Thank you for being our President. We are all way better off and very safe --

Q: We appreciate it. How do you -- earlier you shared with us some intimacy about how you make decisions, and I felt that was heartfelt. How do you keep it together? What do you really think about when the biggest story this week was Dick Cheney's hunting trip, and not Al Gore blasting our troops and being treasonous in his regard to this war on terror in the Middle East? (Applause.) How do you keep it together?

Gah! Vomit! Tard-cooties!!!

Man whose face Cheney's gun discharged into discharged from hospital
Guy shot in the face by the vice president given his talking points, allowed to speak to the press and exonerate the VP - tells reporters he was "deeply sorry" for hitting Cheney's shotgun pellets with his face.


"Thank Christ. God, I need another beer."
****

Keepin' us safer
Muh first priority: protectin' the 'Merican people: Bush misadministration assigns security for major New York, NJ, and Miami ports to terrists company from United Arab Emirates. Can't this asshole do anything right???

I'm not dead yet!
VP shooting victim Harry Whittington is expected to make a statement at 1:00 PM EST. Maybe he'll ask to have Cheney canonized.

Judge orders spying documents released
Developing. Maybe.

A federal judge ordered the Bush misadministration on Thursday to release documents about its warrantless surveillance program or spell out what it is withholding, a setback to efforts to keep the program under wraps. US District Judge Henry Kennedy gave the Justice Department 20 days to respond.

At the same time, Senate Intelligence Chairman Patticake Roberts said the committee adjourned without voting on whether to open an investigation.

Friday cat blogging


"You didn't want to play on the computer, did you?"
****

A private matter
Shooting loads near the face: a primer on hypocrisy.

But in terms of it "mattering" - did it matter to the average American that Bill Clinton was fooling around on his wife, or that Vince Foster committed suicide (to pick two matters that seemed to matter a great deal to the conservative commentariat)?

It matters when the vice president shoots another man because the character and responsiveness of our elected leaders matters. Had Cheney addressed this right away, it would have been a far more modest story.

- wHoreward Kurtz, before going back to sucking the gpuke dick.

Cheney hides behind Fox's skirts
I'm sure we all feel Dick's pain at shooting a GOP donor in the face, but running to your favorite whore for a warm creamy handjob is overdoing it a bit.

If there were any doubt left about Fox "News" serving as the "ream me!" network for the Bush misadministration, those doubts were laid to rest with the gentle Brit Hume fellating of Dick "dick" Cheney.

The pathetic scramble to paint Cheney - the vicious, drunken cyborg who shot a 78-year-old man in the face - as the traumatized victim of what he called "one of the worst days of my life" knows no bounds.

From hunter to hunted
Forget about penraised, flightless quailtards. If you're Dick Cheney, your eye should be on Scooter.

When Libby was indicted, the Washington media predicted he would be too loyal to turn on his former boss. But an ex-chief of staff facing jail time and disgrace can redirect loyalty from an ex-boss to his family and himself. Libby's case is not scheduled to go to trial until January 2007. Cheney has plenty of time to find out whether Libby's loyalties run as deep as he believed or hoped.

For Cheney, ducking questions about a hunting accident could be preferable to ducking questions about Scooter Libby.

- Boston Globe op-ed.

It's never too late to see these guys end up in the shit-heap.

Egon, who has never shot a 78-year-old man in the face.

Carrying the President's dirty water
Pat "patticake' Roberts, enabling partisan whore, putting party and preznit before country.

Is there any aspect of President Bush's miserable record on intelligence that Senator Pat Roberts, worthless chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee, is not willing to excuse and help to cover up? Stifling his own committee without even bothering to get the facts on the Dictator-tot's warrantless spying is outrageous. FISA does not in any way prevent Mr. Bush from spying on Qaeda members or other terrorists. The last thing the nation needs is to amend the law to institutionalize the imperial powers Mr. Bush seized after 9/11.

- from a NY Times editorial. Mostly.


Sen. Roberts
****

There once was a VP named Dick
'Due to the spontaneous uprising of poetry in the comments section inspired by the sterling character of the country's Vice President who, while half in the bag, shot an old man in the face and then blamed him for it,' firedoglake is sponsoring a poetry contest.

Cheneyquiddick
Did Dick think his victim would die?

DCDemocrat, via skippy, offers an interesting theory on why there might have been a delay in releasing information about Dick Cheney shooting a man in the face and why the ranch owner served as the spokes-stooge: Any public statement might have furnished evidence in a legal action if Whittington had kicked the bucket.

"Yore doin' a heckuva job, Dickie"
Bah.

Wheels are coming off Bush/Cheney machine

That deafening noise we've been hearing is the sound of wheels falling off the most secretive and autocratic presidency in our history. The disintegration is long overdue. This nation of laws, separation of powers and equal justice has suffered enough. After five torturous years, we are finally getting a look inside a government led by a cadre of self-righteous demagogues, committed to opportunism, self-aggrandizement and self-enrichment. Many, including one-time friends and associates of the Bush/Cheney power elite, have been preaching the horrors of what's going on behind closed doors, only to be shouted down, bullied, threatened or smeared.

- from here.

Karma's a bitch
Suddenly Republicans don't like voting machines without a paper trail.

A challenge to rightwing bloggers who blame the media for the Cheney mess
Earth to wingnuts: O rly?

Prove it.

One of the great absurdities of our time is the persistent notion that the traditional media skews left. Reporters buy into it, Democratic strategists and leaders buy into it, and rank and file rightwingers live by it. As I've written previously, the right controls all branches of government, talk radio is dominated by rightwing voices, there's a cable channel devoted to the rightwing perspective (and two others racing to do the same), there's a herd of rightwing pundits spewing anti-left venom across editorial pages, radio, television, the internet, etc., Bush's press conferences are cloying jokefests, and "neutral" journalists echo deep-seated pro-GOP myths.

So here's my challenge to rightwing bloggers who assail the media for liberal bias (and to journalists who think it's all a he-said-she-said pissing match): Back up your claims. With concrete examples of bias. And without the tautological crutch that any story critical of the administration is proof of liberal bias.

- Peter Daou, the Daou Report.

Much like Cheney sobering up enough to discuss his drunken shooting spree, Blogger is back online.

Rove forced Cheney to talk
"You're ruining everything!" Rove tells the vp. Next: Rove visits doped-up victim in hospital, makes deal not to have his plug pulled.

Bush's top political aide, Karl Rove, pushed Dick Cheney to speak publicly about shooting a fellow hunter in the face, sources tell CBS News.

Rove worried the vice president's silence on the issue was becoming a political problem, CBS News reports.

Cheney is in a "state of meltdown" over shooting his friend and the political fallout it has caused, a source close to the Cheney has told CBS News.

Critics slam Cheney's interview choice
Cheney a chickenshit, critics charge, as Fudd is fellated by Fox Forehead.

What a pussy - he has to shoot tiny pen-raised 'wingless quailtards' to get his jollies, and later hides from the cops, the president, and the media. Then he allows his defenders to blame the victim for three days before going to Fox to "take responsibility." What a man.

"We've been after the vice president since Sunday, as everyone has, and our efforts paid off," said John Moody, Fox's senior vice president for news. "I think he wanted to make sure he got a fair interview and a good interview -- good in the sense of thorough -- and Brit is sort of the pre-eminent journalist in Washington right now."

But some Democrats and competing broadcasters charged that Cheney chose to speak only with Fox News because of a perception that the cable channel is sympathetic to the Republican administration. They called for the vice president to hold a news conference with the rest of the media.

"Now that he feels forced to talk, he wants to restrict the discussion to a friendly news outlet, guaranteeing no hard questions from the press corps," Sen. Frank Lautenberg, D-N.J., said in a statement.

On CNN, commentator Jack Cafferty called the interview "a little bit like Bonnie interviewing Clyde. ... I mean, running over there to the Fox network -- talk about seeking a safe haven."

''Doing an exclusive interview with any single news organization is not enough," Senator Chuck Schumer of New York said. ''The vice president hasn't had a press conference in three and a half years, and he ought to have one to clear the air not only on this issue , but on many others..."

Cheney "wouldn't have come to Brit Hume if he wanted a softball interview," Moody said with a straight face.

What's yellow, brown and red all over?
The stains on Cheney's hunting jacket.

Why did Dick Cheney shoot his load all over some old hunter?
Because his wife was out researching another lesbian novel.

I'm surprised Dick Cheney loves to hunt so much. The five times the government tried to give him a gun, he got a deferment." --Jay Leno, in between Clinton's cock jokes

"It turns out now that Dick Cheney did not have a license to hunt, and coincidentally, turns out we didn't have a license to go into Iraq." --David Letterman

"Kind of a sad study out today that single women over the age of 35 are more likely to be shot by the vice president than to find a husband." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Remember when the most embarrassing thing to happen to a vice-president was misspelling the word potato?" --Jimmy Kimmel

"Police are still investigating. They want to know why Cheney was unable to see the hunter at the time of the accident. And, they also want to know how Cheney wound up with his wallet." --Jimmy Kimmel

Cheney could face charges in shooting
Legally, even though he's vice president, Dick Cheney has no immunity from prosecution. If Harry Whittington, the 78-year-old man he shot in the face, dies from his injuries the VP could be charged with criminally negligent homicide or even manslaughter. As if. Gee. It's too bad they never did a breathalyzer or blood work on him, huh. Gosh.

If Whittington recovers, Cheney could still face a felony charge of negligently causing injury to an aged person, but it would be "quite unusual" in the case of a hunting accident.

Well, he could, if his name wasn't Dick Cheney. And if he wasn't a rich white republican. And like his buddy's going to press charges anyway. Feh.

Pic by Mehmet Ozgur.

Cheney: it's good to be the king
The vice president says that an executive order gives him the power to declassify government secrets, raising the possibility that he told Scooter Libby to pass along classified information on Iraq to reporters and to go after Joe Wilson like a rabid rottweiler on crack. God bless America.

Great moments in television
CNN's Jack Cafferty had a hard time controlling himself over the Fox "News" handjob of Dick Cheney, and the misadministration's new screw the American taxpayers initiative -

WOLF BLITZER:Let's go up to New York. Jack Cafferty standing by with "The Cafferty File." First of all, Jack, what did you make of Dick Cheney's interview today?

JACK CAFFERTY: Well, I obviously didn't see it because it hasn't been released in its entirety yet. But I would guess it didn't exactly represent a Profile in Courage for the vice president to wander over there to the f-word network for a sit down with Brit Hume. That's a little like Bonnie interviewing Clyde, ain't it? Where was the news conference? Where was the access to all of the members of the media? Whatever.

BLITZER: You still think he needs to do a full-scale news conference and invite all the cameras, all the reporters and ask whatever they want?

CAFFERTY: That's never going to happen. But running over there to the Fox network. Talk about seeking a safe haven. He's not going to get any high hard ones from anybody at the f-word network. I think we know that. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice says the Bush administration -- here's a great idea -- the Bush administration wants another $75 million in order to support democracy in Iran. This is an emergency spending bill that would be in addition to the $10 million Congress has already approved for this this year. Rice says the money will be used for radio and TV broadcasting to increase programs for Iranians to study in the United States -- there's a good idea -- and travel to this country by Iranian professionals.

But take a look at who we are dealing with here. This is a country that has defied the International Atomic Energy Agency, has resumed enriching uranium -- a step many think is the first in a march toward nuclear weapons. The country is run by a certified lunatic who says he wants Israel wiped off the map, and where a newspaper is currently holding a holocaust cartoon contest.

Let's not forget either, how well this "spreading democracy" thing is going over recently in places like Iraq and the Palestinian Territories.

They got to go in search of a clue.

Here's the question. Should American tax payers spend $75 million to promote democracy in Iran? E-mail us at CaffertyFile@CNN.com. Or go to CNN.com/CaffertyFile. Wolf?

BLITZER: I suspect you'll get a lot of people doing exactly that, Jack.

CAFFERTY: Who dreams this stuff up?

BLITZER: Thank you very much.

Cheney "had a beer" before shooting 78-year old man in the face
Yeah, guns and alcohol - is this the sort of message we want to send to our kids? Will no one think of the children?!

Fox "News" fellatoton Britt Hume: He said he had a beer at lunch and that had been many hours earlier. And it was dusk, around 5:00 p.m., when this incident happened. And he said that, you know, they had lunch out in the field, a barbecue, and he had a beer.

Hospital officials would not comment whether Whittington’s blood-alcohol level had been tested.

BTW, I only had one beer at lunch today, too -

What's Dick Cheney's new Secret Service code name?
Sureshot
Earp
Ol' Lock and Load
Dead-eye
Homer
Pepper Spray
Bonehead
Ralphie
Whoops
The Lone Gunman

- - seen at Fark.

Beer may have been a factor in Cheney shooting an old man in the face
... and causing him to have a heart attack.

Katherine Armstrong, the wealthy Republican lobbyist who is a member member of the politically-connected family that owns the ranch where Cheney blasted his hunting partner, acknowledged to a reporter for MSNBC that alcohol may have been served at a picnic which was served Saturday afternoon on the dude ranch where Cheney shot Harry Whittington.

According to an MSNBC report that appeared briefly Tuesday on the network's website, Armstrong peddled the line that she did not believe that alcohol played a part in the shooting accident. But, she admitted, "There may be a beer or two in there, but remember not everyone in the party was shooting."

The MSNBC story, which appeared only briefly before the website was scrubbed for reasons not yet explained, has been kept alive by the able web investigators at www.rawstory.com and other progressive blogs. And so it should be, as the prospect that alcohol may have been involved in the Texas incident takes the story in a whole new direction.

[I]f Cheney used his Secret Service unit to prevent a necessary and proper official inquiry at a time when it might have uncovered relevant information regarding his condition when he shot a man, then the vice president has abused his office in a most serious manner.

- John Nichols, via Yahoo News.


The face of compassion.
*****

The Texas Chen-saw massacre
Heard at the coffee machine:

Most US Vice Presidents just attend funerals, not try to initiate them
Cheney: quail, lawyer insurgencies in last throes
Not only did Dick Cheney shoot a man, he shot him illegally

White House livid over handling of Cheney's drunken shooting spree*

A source described as close to the Bush administration said people inside the White House are "livid" about the way Vice President Dick Cheney's office has handled the hunting accident he was involved in over the weekend, CBS News reported Tuesday.

According to CBS News, the source said the issue was no longer Cheney's view of press management but rather about Iraq, Hurricane Katrina and a range of other issues that play into the public's view of the administration's arrogance.

CBS News reported that private signals were being sent that the matter has been handled badly and Cheney needs to come out and say something.

* alleged.

Update: Cheney will be interviewed by - who else? - Fox News at 6 p.m.

Update update: firedoglake reports that excerpts of the interview will air at 2 pm ET, with the full interview at 6 pm.

Double standard

"Wasn't there more of an investigation when Clinton's friend took a load in the face?"

- Gary, at Blah3.

Covering up beer stains
More on the MSNBC scrubs beer line from Cheney story story: Crooks and Liars has the screen grab of the original article.

Raw Story has more.


For pMSNBC.
*****

Probe of NSA spying is in doubt
Accountability and integrity in crapper

Congress appeared ready to launch an investigation into the Bush misadministration's illegal warrantless domestic surveillance program last week, but an all-out White House lobbying campaign has dramatically slowed the effort and may kill it, key Republican and Democratic sources said yesterday.

"It's been a full-court press" by top administration officials, said a top Senate Republican aide. "What's the big deal, anyway? Its not like anyone got a blowjob."

It's party over principle. Party over justice. Party over civil rights.

Good lord, our Founding Fathers must be shaking their heads in shame at the mindfuck that is about to occur in Congress. A legislative body, which is constitutionally tasked with oversight and the solemn duty of ensuring that the Presidency acts within the law, is now prepared to gleefully greenlight its blatantly criminal actions? Is this a democratic Congress or the King's Court? What controls the fate of this country, the Constitution or Karl Rove's blacklist?

Cover-up by pMSNBC?
Did MSNBC scrub Katharine Armstrong's beer quote from their site? All signs point to yes.

Cover-up?
Evidently the White House knew that Cheney's victim was in serious condition with that heart thing this morning, well before Snott's press con, where he never mentioned it.

I love how the SCLM are now prefacing the heart attack as "mild." As one doctor on Hardball just put it, in no way can you call having a piece of fucking shrapnel in your heart minor. Especially when you're 78 years old.

Experts to test possible Joan of Arc bones
Cool -

Eighteen experts plan a battery of tests to determine whether the few remains reportedly recovered from the pyre where the 19-year-old was burned alive for heresy - including a rib bone and some skin - really could have belonged to her.

The woman warrior-turned-saint remains omnipresent in the French imagination, nearly 600 years after her ashes were thought to have been thrown into the Seine River. The supposed remains were gathered by an unidentified person and conserved by an apothecary until 1867, when they were turned over to the archdiocese of Tours.

Traitors
Outed CIA officer Valerie Plame was working on tracking the distribution and acquisition of weapons of mass destruction technology to and from Iran, intelligence sources say:

The unmasking of covert CIA officer Valerie Plame Wilson by White House officials in 2003 caused significant damage to US national security and its ability to counter nuclear proliferation abroad, Raw Story has learned.

Speaking under strict confidentiality, intelligence officials revealed heretofore unreported elements of Plame's work. Their accounts suggest that Plame's outing was more serious than has previously been reported and carries grave implications for US national security and its ability to monitor Iran's burgeoning nuclear program.

Time for a full Congressional investigation.

Thanks to mkutten for sending the link!

Heard at the coffee machine
Man Dick Cheney shot has minor heart attack. Or, as Dick would put it, Tuesday.

Why does Whittington's aorta hate America?

There's a new sex technique called the 'Cheney.' Its when you spray somebody in the face when they don't expect it.

Fuddgate
Manslaughtergate? Old man shot in the face by Cheney has heart attack

The 78-year-old victim who was recklessly shot by Vice President Dick Cheney has had a heart attack. The hospital administrator at Corpus Christi-Memorial said Whittington "may have taken a turn for the worse" and was put back into intensive care.

The attack was caused by a birdshot pellet that lodged in the heart. Upon hearing the news, Scott McClellan immediately hung himself.


"Get off my lawn, you damn cops!"
****

Abramoff said to claim close ties to Karl Rove
Disgraced, indicted repuke pet lobbyist routinely mentioned Rove when talking about his influence inside the White House, sources say.

Three former associates of Jack Abramoff say the now-convicted lobbyist frequently told them he had strong ties to the White House through presidential confidant Karl Rove.

One former business associate said he was present when Abramoff took a call from Rove's office to confirm a White House meeting had been approved between Malaysia's prime minister and Bush in May 2002. Abramoff was being paid by Malaysia for helping it in Washington, according to evidence the Senate has made public.

JA: Hot Karl! What's up, bro?
KR: Jack. It's all set, then. What's my cut?
JA: Fuck, dude, I'll let you blow me for free, how's that?!
KR: Great. I'll bring the Reddi-whip and nerf-truncheons.

White House under fire over Texas shooting
Although the blasting incident took place on Saturday afternoon, and it was considered serious enough for Squinty McFlightsuit to be informed that night before donning his Batman pajamas, it took nearly 24 hours before details were released by Karl Ro the owner of the Texas ranch, rather than the vice-president's office.

Yesterday White House spokesliar Scott McClellan faced angry questions about the lack of information:

Q: But let's just be clear here. The Vice President of the United States accidentally shoots a man and he feels that it's appropriate for a ranch owner who witnessed this to tell the local Corpus Christi newspaper, and not the White House press corps at large, or notify the public in a national way?

Q: You've got to clarify this timeline, Scott; it just doesn't make any sense.

Q: So when did the President definitively know that the Vice President had shot somebody?

McCLELLAN: He was learning additional details into that evening on Saturday --

Q: It wasn't a detail that it was the Vice President that pulled the trigger? When did that detail --

McCLELLAN: We didn't know the full details, but I think he was informed because Karl -- I think his Deputy Chief of Staff had spoken with Mrs. Armstrong and provided him additional update that evening. So there were more circumstances --

Q: Deputy Chief of Staff Rove talked to --

McCLELLAN: -- known Saturday evening. So the President was getting more information about who was involved, and that was late Saturday evening.

Q: So he knew Saturday evening? Scott, definitively, did the President know or --

McCLELLAN: -- some additional information, yes, and the Vice President --

Q: -- or hear that it was the Vice President?

McCLELLAN: -- and that the Vice President was involved, but didn't know the full facts of what had occurred.

Q: How is that possible?

Apparently the White House needs a far greater time to gather facts than anyone else on the #ucking planet.

Q: Wait, wait, hold on. Human beings are not normally this inefficient. I mean, was the Vice President immediately clear that he had accidentally shot his friend, or not? Or did that information become available later? You make it seem like there's all this information that had to develop.

McCLELLAN: I wouldn't suggest that at all. I'm sure that that was the case. I mean, Mrs. Armstrong was there and saw that --

Q: I don't understand what information had to trickle in?

Q: And it doesn't seem to me that that would take an inordinate amount of time, it certainly wouldn't take 22 hours.

McCLELLAN: This is happening Saturday evening.

Q: But you've got a Situation Room here, you've got people who monitor stuff -- it's impossible to find out -- I mean, the Vice President knew immediately, oh, no, I've shot somebody accidentally, and it takes 22 hours for that --

McCLELLAN: And you know what his first reaction was? His first reaction was go to Mr. Whittington and get his team in there to provide him medical care.

Q: I'm sure his first reaction -- absolutely. But why is it that it took so long for the President, for you, for anybody else to know that the Vice President accidentally shot somebody?

McCLELLAN: Well, early the next morning, Mrs. Armstrong reached out to the Corpus paper -- that's her local paper --

Q: Oh, come on.

McCLELLAN: -- to provide them information.

Q: But that's ridiculous. Are you saying that you don't know within the White House? What took you so long?

Q The Vice President has a Secret Service detail and has communications which are up to date, operating and in place. How is it that the word of the shooting and the fact that the Vice President was involved could have been confused or delayed, given the fact that that was almost --

MR. McCLELLAN: Well, I think the initial information is coming from his team on the ground with him, and they're just providing an initial report, an accident has taken place. They might not know all the facts at that point, Bill.

Q Are you kidding? They're right there, they're out there with him.

It was a third hunter! On a grassy knoll!

Cheney cited for breaking hunting law
OK, besides the one that says look before you shoot, asshat.

And the "all states require the shooter to take a blood-alcohol test if a hunting accident involves injury to anyone.”

And ummmm, the "nobody leaves the scene of a shooting, accidental or otherwise, until released by the police investigating the shooting."

The I was hunting game birds without a license one. He was given a warning citation.


"You'll get yours, commie!"
****

Above the law
Texas sheriff barred from interviewing Cheney about shooting incident

Local law enforcement officials were prevented by the SS from interviewing Cheney after he recklessly shot a 78-year-old man during a hunting trip. Although the incident was an 'accident,' it could still constitute criminal negligence.

If I had shot someone, the cops would have given me a field sobriety test before taking me in. If Cindy Sheehan had shot someone, her ass would've been in jail so fast the clocks would've stopped.

What's orange, white and red all over?
Vice preznit Cheney's latest victim

"Good news, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction: It's Dick Cheney." - David Letterman

"You can understand why this lawyer fellow let his guard down, because if you're out hunting with a politician, you think, 'If I'm going to get it, it's going to be in the back.'" - Craig Ferguson

"We can't get bin Laden, but we nailed a 78-year-old attorney." - David Letterman

"I think Cheney is starting to lose it. After he shot the guy he screamed, 'Anyone else want to call domestic wiretapping illegal?'" - Jay Leno

"But all kidding aside, and in fairness to Dick Cheney, every five years he has to shed innocent blood or he violates his deal with the devil." - Jimmy Kimmel

"Apparently the reason they didn't release the information right away is they said we had to get the facts right. That's never stopped them in the past." - Craig Ferguson

"You know what they say, if Dick Cheney comes out of his hole and shoots an old man in the face, six more weeks of winter." - Jimmy Kimmel

"This is a great story. You've got the Vice President, a shotgun, a bunch of rich guys hunting tiny little birds. The only thing that could possibly make this story better is if he shot Michael Jackson." - Jimmy Kimmel

"The man who was shot is named Harry Whittington. He's a high powered Republican lawyer, he was very lucky. They say the only reason that he wasn't killed is he was wearing the body armor that never got shipped to our troops." - Jimmy Kimmel

"So in summary, the Vice President of the United States shot a 78-year-old man in the face. Congratulations Mister Vice President, you are now a Crip." - Jimmy Kimmel

"The Vice President is standing by his decision to shoot Harry Whittington. Now, according to the best intelligence available, there were quail hidden in the brush. Everyone believed at the time there were quail in the brush. And while the quail turned out to be a 78- year-old man, even knowing that today, Mr. Cheney insists he still would have shot Mr. Whittington in the face." - "Daily Show" correspondent Rob Corddry

Letterman's Top Ten Dick Cheney Excuses
10. Heart palpitation caused trigger finger to spasm
9. Wanted to get the Iraq mess of the front page
8. Not enough Jim Beam
7. Trying to stop the spread of bird flu
6. I love to shoot people
5. Guy was making cracks about my lesbian daughter
4. I thought the guy was trying to go 'gay cowboy' on me
3. Excuse? I hit him didn't I?
2. Until Democrats approve Medicare reform, we have to make some tough choices for the elderly
1. Made bet with Gretzky's wife

:: giggle ::

Guns don't shoot people. Vice presidents with guns shoot people
No end to questions in Cheney hunting accident:

Why it took the better part of a day to disclose that the vice president shot somebody.

Why even President Goober initially got an incomplete report on the shooting.

Why Dick was hunting without a quail stamp - in effect, illegally.

Was he too fucking cheap to spend the 7 bucks, or did he just think fuck that, I'm Dick Cheney!?

Why he chose a local paper to break the news. On Sunday. After all the Sunday morning wonk shows aired.

Why Karl Rove called the ranch owner.

Why Cheney waited until the next day to talk to the cops.

Why the cops gave him plenty of time to sober up let him.

At the White House, Mr. Cheney made no statement on Monday and remained out of public view. At the beginning of a meeting with Secretary General Kofi Annan of the United Nations, Bush laughingly told Cheney that reporters would later enter the room; the vice president left before the journalists arrived.

So besides all that, he's also a chickenshit. A chickenshit with a yellow stripe down his back and a big red ass.

Dick shoots load in man's face
I'm being so immature today.

So what's Dick Cheney singing to himself right about now? Lawyers, Guns and Money? Love Lies Bleeding?

Shot a man in Texas just to watch him die....

Cheney's got a gun...

You're the one that I shot, woo hoo hoo

Shot in the face and you're to blame - you give cyborgs a bad name ; )

DNC: Kenny Mehlman is an asshat
The DNC replies to Ken Mehlman's bullshit attacks on Democrats:

"Ken Mehlman's angry attacks are like, totally ghey harmful to America. Using the security of the American people as a political wedge issue is disgraceful. Democrats will not be lectured to from a Republican party that leaked classified information in a time of war, sent our troops to war without the proper equipment and have left America's ports and borders, chemical and nuclear plants vulnerable to attack some five years after September 11th. As we saw in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, under Republican watch, we are not safer today than we were five years ago, a finding reconfirmed this by the F's and D's this Republican administration received by the 9/11 commission.

"The fact is that it was Democrats who pushed to create a Department of Homeland Security. It was Democrats who pushed to make our airlines safer. It is Democrats who are now working to make sure we close the remaining gaps in our nation's security. It was Democrats who demanded reform of the intelligence community.

"And it is Democrats who are pushing for a foreign policy that honestly deals with the threats of today, and the threats of tomorrow -- like securing the nuclear materials around the world. Republicans in Washington had to be dragged kicking and screaming to our side on all of these issues that protect America."

Why does Ken Mehlman hate America?

Senators: Cheney should be probed in leak of classified info
Long and hard, with a toilet brush.

Democratic Sen. Jack Reed and Republican George Allen say a full investigation of Vice President Dick "Quickdraw" Cheney is necessary to investigate whether he authorized Scooter to pass secret information to reporters. VP seen reloading his gun, eating puppies.

No, no, no - the other Library Tower
Bush lies about "catastrophic attack." Go figure.

The intelligence officials, who declined to be identified because they did not want to criticize the White House publicly, said there is deep disagreement within the intelligence community over the seriousness of the scheme to attack the 73-story building and whether it was ever much more than talk.

Bruce Hoffman, a terrorism specialist with the Rand Corp., said Bush's account still leaves key questions unanswered.

"It doesn't really give us any more indication of whether this was a plot that was derailed or pre-empted, or a plot that was more in the realm of an idle daydream," Hoffman said.

Ahhhh, accountability and integrity! Whatever happened with those again???

No, no, no - the other Jack Abramoff
This is rich -

Corrupt, powermad scumbag Tom DeLay, 1997: "One of my closest and dearest friends, Jack Abramoff..."

Indicted slimeball Tom DeLay, last week: "The notion that Abramoff was a close friend who wielded influence over me is absolutely untrue. Jack Abramoff and I were not close personal friends. I met with him only occasionally, in fact less frequently than numerous others who brought issues before Congress..."

Ahhhh, accountability and integrity! Whatever happened with those again?

Vice President Dick Cheney’s excuses for shooting fellow hunter Harry Whittington on Saturday
13. He told Cheney to go #uck himself
12. He has pics of Bush with Jack Abramoff
11. Whittington's check bounced

10. Sick and tired of Whittington’s “Hey, I’m having a heart attack” jokes

9. Pushed over edge by Dixie Chicks and Streisand blasting on pick-up truck stereo

8. Ongoing dispute over whether it’s acceptable to torture quail before shooting them

7. Thought he saw Michael Moore on other side of tree line

6. Bombed out of his gourd on Wild Turkey and Lone Star Beer

5. Companion’s ill-advised decision to wear Moveon.org sweatshirt

4. Was trying to impress Jodie Foster

3. Whittington’s repeated ribbing that Bush is actually the “real president”

2. Targeting scope on rifle made by Halliburton

And the number one excuse given by Dick Cheney for almost blowing away hunting companion Harry Whittington…

1. Because he’s a wartime vice president, damn it

- - by Bob Geiger

An old man walks into a gun...
"Never sneak up behind Dick Cheney when he has a gun in his hand."

James and Sarah Brady comment on Cheney's reportedly accidental shooting yesterday in Texas:

"Now I understand why Dick Cheney keeps asking me to go hunting with him," said Jim Brady. "I had a friend once who accidentally shot pellets into his dog - and I thought he was an idiot."

"I've thought Cheney was scary for a long time," Sarah Brady said. "Now I know I was right to be nervous."

Could be the victim's mistake was 'milling about like a peahen.'

Pic from BradBlog.

VP Cheney shoots 78-year-old man
While the Northeast braced for Death Storm 06, Cheney was hunting quail and a little old man in Texas.

Though the shooting happened Saturday, it didn't make the news until late Sunday. I was right in the middle of shark terra weekend on SciFi when, flipping channels during a commercial, I caught the news. This was no shooting accident! I thought, giggling like a schoolgirl... the bf, upstairs, yelled "what the hell are you laughing at?" I called back "Cheney just shot somebody!" and he asked "it wasn't Bush, was it?!"

It was funny as hell: the Fox News guys looked so #ucking embarrassed to be talking about the vice president blasting somebody they could barely get the words out. They even tried putting the blame on the old shot guy, saying he never warned Cheney he was close. Yeah, nice. Stay classy, Fux.

More questions raised about delay in reporting Cheney misfire
I think the SCLM just needed more time to look up harmless, fun synonyms for "shot."

The delay in announcing the shooting "will likely be the main question asked of the White House about the apparent accidental shooting of a 78-year-old man during a Texas hunting trip by the vice president," Frank James of the Chicago Tribune wrote.

"When a vice president of the US shoots a man under any circumstance," James noted, "that is extremely relevant information. What might be the excuse to justify not immediately making the incident public?

Shot in the head, and you're to blame
Old guy, you give Dick a bad name...

So, what we have is an event shrouded in secrecy for almost twenty-four hours which, when disclosed, was accompanied by a fawning statement by a Bush apparachik exonerating Cheney from any and all blame and/or liability.

Thus, this appears to be yet another example of the Bush Administration attempting to manipulate the press and perhaps hide the truth. What really happened on that ranch yesterday? Who the heck knows. What we do know is that, regardless of what actually happened, the Administration spin doctors immediately jumped in and crafted a story that put Cheney in the best possible light. And the "traditional media" reported that story without any skepticism whatsoever.

The "traditional media" is already making jokes about Ted Kennedy's driving and, of course, Bill Clinton. I'm wondering how long it'll take before Vince Foster is mentioned.


"Excellent!"
****

Dear crooks...
John Conyers (D-MI), ranking member of the House Judiciary Committee, has just sent the following letter to Stupie McFlightsuit and president Dick Cheney:

February 10, 2006

The President
The Vice President
The White House
Washington, DC 20500

Dear Drooling Nincompooper Fuckface and Cyborg Emperor-Wannabe:

Yesterday, the National Journal and AP reported that the Vice President's former Chief of Staff, I. Lewis (Scooter) Libby, had testified to a federal grand jury that as part of an effort to discredit Ambassador Joseph Wilson and defend your Administration's use of prewar intelligence, he had been authorized by the Vice President and other White House superiors to leak classified information to journalists. Moreover, correspondence filed by Special Prosecutor Patrick J. Fitzgerald also reveals that Mr. Libby has asserted that he had been authorized to disclose to the media a still-classified portion of a National Intelligence Estimate about alleged efforts to develop nuclear weapons to the media.

If this is true, I am concerned that it constitutes an abuse of power at best, and may be outright unlawful at worst. As I understand the applicable declassification regulations, they provide that "[i]nformation shall be declassified as soon as it no longer meets the standard for classification under this order." Under these standards, it would appear that neither classified nuclear information nor Valerie Plame's status as a covert agent or the name of her employer warranted declassification. This is why Special Prosecutor Fitzgerald has stated that these leaks were "a serious breach of public trust."

As a result of these reports, I would like to ask you the following questions:
1. WTF? And, as a follow-up, who the fuck do you think you are?
2. What's the legal basis, if any, which I doubt?
3. How many of you are going to prison?

Yours in Christ,
John Conyers, Jr.

Congress to Bush: so, other than that, how was your vacation, asshat?

Hurricane Katrina exposed the government's failure to learn the lessons of the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, as leaders from President Bush down disregarded ample warnings of the threat to New Orleans and did not execute emergency plans or share information that would have saved lives, according to a blistering report by House investigators.

The 600-plus-page report lays primary fault with the passive reaction and misjudgments of top Bush aides, singling out Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, the Homeland Security Operations Center and the White House Homeland Security Council, according to a 60-page summary of the document obtained by The Washington Post.

Regarding Bush, the report found that "earlier presidential involvement could have speeded the response" because he alone could have cut through all bureaucratic resistance.

"Hey, I had REAL work to do!"
****

In the picture, Bush is talking with Chief Raul Garza of the Kickapoo tribe of southwest Texas. Part of Karl Rove's ugly pusbag of a face can be seen grinning on the right, Jack Abramoff grinning in the back like a proud papa.
****

Snowstorm of Doom!
Still waiting for the arrival of the Great Armageddon Snowstorm of 2006. We've stocked up on all the important stuff, such as cat litter, Meow Mix, cigars, rum, firewood, coffee, and more rum. How are all you doing?

Heckuva job
Still not quite getting it, Bush appoints an Amtrak lawyer as Secretary of Public Health Emergency Preparedness despite the guy having no background in medicine, science or public health.

What class
Insane racist harpy skank mAnn Coulter describes Muslims as ragheads; Senate majority leader/douchebag Bill Frist too chickenshit to comment: "I wasn't there so I better not."

O rly? Well, maybe he should watch the video.

The hateful spunk-dumpster also mentioned assassinating Bill Clinton. I wonder when she'll be getting a visit from the Secret Service?

Brownie swings some balls
As rethug Senators climbed all over his ass, former FEMA head Michael Brown turned around and shat all over them.

Bush at the time said, "I don't think anybody anticipated the breach of the levees."

Michael Brown said he told top Bush officials the day the storm howled ashore of massive flooding in New Orleans and warned "we were realizing our worst nightmare."

Heck of a job, dude -

"You're not prepared to put a mirror in front of your face and recognize your own inadequacies," said Norm Coleman, R-Jerkoff. "Perhaps you may get a more sympathetic hearing if you had a willingness to confess your own sins in this."

Brown responded: "That's very easy for you to say sitting behind that dais and not being there in the middle of that disaster watching that human suffering and watching those people dying and trying to deal with those structural dysfunctionalities, even within the federal government."

You could almost hear him adding "... asshole!"

What fun!
Three more rethug lawmakers linked to disgraced repuke lobbyist Jack Abramoff.

Reps. Steven LaTourette, R-Ohio, Shelly Moore Capito, R-W Va., and giant pustulating asshole Don Young, R-Alaska have been linked to indicted crook Jack Abramoff, according to court filings by federal prosecutors on Friday.

Please welcome...
BeggarsCanBeChoosers!

No bounce for Bunnypants
Bush's job approval, much like a dingleberry, stuck near bottom.

Lyie McStupington's marks on overall job approval and for handling the economy are mired near their lowest levels ever despite a spike in consumer confidence over the past month and an "upbeat" SOTU, an AP-Ipsos poll found.

Friday cat blogging
Egon tries to decide which he'll read next - -

Get out!
The Bush misadministration lied "cherry-picked" intelligence to justify going to war with Iraq, says a former CIA official.

Whew - at least it wasn't about blowjobs.

Know your Bizarro World history!
Legal wiretapping dates back to George Washington's electronic surveillance of Hessian headquarters, which Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez testified about earlier this week. President Lincoln went a bit further, using an elaborate network of spy satellites to track Confederate troop movments during the Civil War, which I believe Mr. Gonzalez also mentioned. Ironically, the Lincoln White House was never able to pick up John Wilkes Booth's cellphone calls.


Know your Bizarro World history, part 2
In February of 2003, Preznit Bumbles W. Lyington boldly said this regarding the leaks of sensitive information:

"But I want to tell you something -- leaks of classified information are a bad thing. And we've had them -- there's too much leaking in Washington. That's just the way it is. And we've had leaks out of the administrative branch, had leaks out of the legislative branch, and out of the executive branch and the legislative branch, and I've spoken out consistently against them and I want to know who the leakers are."

Today:

:: crickets ::

Ranchin' s hard werk!
Bush misadministration officials said they'd been caught by surprise when they were told on Aug. 30 that the NOLA levees had broken, when in actuality Homeland Security heard about it at 9:27 p.m. the day before, and the White House at midnight.

In a related story: With all other problems solved, the White House is seeking a retraction from the NYT, which ran an article that said aWol McStupid was on vacation in Texas on August 30th when he was actually giving a speech in San Diego (seen at drudge, so no link). Damn lieberal media.

Let freedom ring
Spreadin' freedom an' democracy: a VA nurse has been charged with sedition for writing a letter to the editor criticizing Bush for the war in Iraq and the Katrina response.

That's right, sedition. God bless America.

Good one
“The President has always worked to elevate the tone in Washington DC.” - White House spokesliar and failed comedian Scott McClellan, 2/8/06.

Go fuck yourself on a swift boat, Snott.

Boy King making us making us "look morally bankrupt"
Boy, when the founder of the Bushkissing USA Toady rips you a new cornchute, you know it's getting pretty bad.

Bush offers plot details as criticism, flopsweat increases
White House spokesfascist Scott McClellan later told reporters that the timing of the speech was unrelated to the surveillance matter. Bush had delivered the speech "to highlight today the strong international cooperation in the war on terrorism," he said. "I would discourage you from suggesting otherwise."

Q: Can I ask you a question about the timing of the speech today? Why now, given the ongoing discussion that is taking place about tactics in fighting the war on terror, why did the President seek to disclose the details today, specifically?

McCLELLAN: The President has been having an ongoing discussion with the American people about the war on terrorism. It's about protecting the American people. 9/11. Terra.

Q: But is it just a coincidence? You had February 6th circled on the calendar for the hearings, the NSA hearings. Is it just a pure coincidence that this comes out today?

McCLELLAN: Well, you're talking about the -- let me mention, the terrorist surveillance program is a vital program, and it's been a very valuable tool. I'm not going to get into discussing any of the tools that may have been used when it comes to disrupting this plot. We provided you some additional information about this plot. But the purpose of this speech is the way I stated it. And I would discourage you from suggesting otherwise.

[Quick break for a bitchslapping by hero/patriot Helen Thomas regarding Iraq]

Q: A couple things, Scott -- thanks. Since the President said that there were 10 plots that have been thwarted, have there been additional plots that the White House is prepared to acknowledge have been thwarted?

McCLELLAN: I don't have any additional beyond what he has said today. Maybe after the next poll...

Q: On the subject of information-sharing, the Mayor of Los Angeles today is complaining that he got no notification at all that the President planned to disclose this information about an alleged attack plot on his city. In fact, he said, "I'm amazed the President would make this announcement on national television and not inform us of the details through appropriate channels." Insofar as you said earlier that the White House is always looking for ways to inform the American people and keep them up to speed, why disclose the details of a plot that's now four years old?

McCLELLAN: Blah! Blah blah blah blah blah. It's no accident that we haven't been hit again since September 11th. But we know that there is a determined enemy that continues to want to strike us. And we've got to continue working 24/7, using every tool in our arsenal, to disrupt the plots, to prevent attacks, and to bring the terrorists to justice. That's what we are doing.

Q: Scott, was it the President's intention today to draw a link in the public's mind between the NSA program and the bombing plots --

McCLELLAN: No. In fact, I addressed that earlier. Now, does anyone have any questions about angry she-beast Hillary Clinton?

Q: So he would have -- in talking about how the speech was in preparation for some time, he would have brought this up regardless of the fact that the hearings were today and --

McCLELLAN: I would discourage you from thinking it was some other purpose than the way I described it. It's part of our discussion with the American people about what is the number one priority, which is protecting them from attacks and prevailing in the war on terrorism.

Q: One other question. It's still the belief of the White House that, as Karl Rove stated a few weeks ago, that this issue works well politically for Republicans, that the NSA program, the more it's discussed, the more it helps Republicans?

McCLELLAN: Stop it.

Q: Scott, I apologize if I'm still confused, but I wonder if you could tell us a bit more specifically what has changed since October, when we were told that discussing details of this plot was inappropriate, and today? What has actually changed since October in that regard?

McCLELLAN: 9/11, dammit!!!!!!! Why isn't this working???

Q: So sources and methods would have been compromised in October, but not today?

McCLELLAN: Well, Peter, we're always looking for ways to provide the American people with more information and that's what I said to you earlier -- maybe you didn't quite hear all that -- but we're always looking to keep the American people informed about the threats we face and provide them better context and better understanding of what we are doing to confront those threats. So that's what this was about, and so that's something we're always looking at.

Q: But that wasn't actually the question. The question was, would sources and methods have been compromised in October, but wouldn't be today?

McCLELLAN: Well, the intelligence community said that it was okay to talk about the information that we provided you today and the President spoke about. So like I said, there is ongoing efforts that we look at to provide the information to the American people, and this was --

Q: It was not okay in October to talk about that level of detail?

McCLELLAN: I didn't say that. What I said was that they said that it was okay now to talk further about this specific plot.

Q: Would it have been okay in October, but you chose not to?

McCLELLAN: I don't know how many times you're going to keep asking the same question.

Q: As soon as I get an answer.

McCLELLAN: I think I've answered the question.

Q: You think wrong, pudgy white man. Can you say when you started trying to get it declassified so you could talk about it?

McCLELLAN: Well, when we were talking about doing this speech, we were looking for a specific plot that we could talk about in more detail?

Q: So two weeks ago?

McCLELLAN: Well, the speech has been in the works, as I say, for at least three weeks.

Q: So three weeks ago you decided you wanted to try and declassify this particular --

McCLELLAN: Martha, I can't tell you the specific time. But, again, two things -- one, we're always looking to keep the American people informed and provide them additional information like this...

Q: But you say you don't want to give a specific date, but is it fair to stay that you started looking at this when you started looking at giving this speech?

McCLELLAN: Hillary! 9/11! Terra!

Q: Scott, I wanted to just ask a follow-up about the LA plot. Is there something missing from this story, a practical application, a few facts? Because if you want to commandeer a plane and fly it into a tower, if you used shoe bombs, wouldn't you blow off the cockpit? Or is there something missing from this story?

McCLELLAN: I don't know what you're referring to about missing. I mean, I think we provided you a detailed briefing earlier today about the plot. I'm not sure what you're suggesting it.

Q: Think about it, if you're wearing shoe bombs, you either blow off your feet or you blow off the front of the airplane.

McCLELLAN: I hate you guys. :: sob ::

Libby: I vas chust vollowing orders
Good defense, aishhole. But does a vice president even have the authority to give anyone the OK to leak classified information??

On Thursday Sen. Ted Kennedy said Dick 'Chicanery' Cheney should take responsibility if he authorized Scooter Libby to leak to reporters.

"These charges, if true, represent a new low in the already sordid case of partisan interests being placed above national security," Kennedy said. "The vice president's vindictiveness in defending the misguided war in Iraq is obvious. If he used classified information to defend it, he should be prepared to take full responsibility."


"Ack! Glub! Zzzzzzt!"
****

Fox "News" aired photos of aliens attacking Library Tower
Space aliens.

Superhero George W Bush saves America from fictional attack on skyscraper! From Media Matters:

In a February 9 speech, President Bush disclosed details of what he described as a foiled Al Qaeda plot to fly a commercial plane into the tallest building in Los Angeles. Shortly after his speech concluded, Fox News aired numerous images from the 1996 film Independence Day showing the reported target of the attack -- the Library Tower, now known as the U.S. Bank Tower -- being destroyed by alien invaders.

:: giggle ::

And while Faux News' weird-hair-guy was having terrgasms over the Bush speech, the Pensito Review found that the foiled terror plot made no sense whatsoever:

SHOE BOMBER to FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Let me in the cockpit or I will blow up the plane with my shoe!

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Hmm. I’ll bet you want in there so you can fly the plane into a building — so do your worst. I’m not letting you in the cockpit.

SHOE BOMBER: Dang! It never occurred to me that you would say that!

Or let’s assume he gets into the cockpit:

SHOE BOMBER to PILOT: Fly this plane into the Liberty Tower or I will blow it up with my shoe!

PILOT: Uh, I’ve never heard of the “Liberty Tower” and anyway, no — go ahead and blow up the plane.

SHOE BOMBER: Double dang! These Infidels are too smart for me!

*****
The crew would have no reason to comply with shoe bomber’s demands. What do they have to lose? They and the passengers are going to die in either case.
There is something missing in this story. Or the president lied.

Huh. Possible? Well, the L.A. Mayor is saying WTF.

Ha ha ha ha ha!
True story. I want what these guys were on -

Presidents are often memorialized in their most famous moments -- George Washington crossing the Delaware, Theodore Roosevelt at San Juan Hill.

Now [aWol McDrunkington]'s time in the Texas Air National Guard has been immortalized in bronze.

Cowering behind his daddy? Pulling on the beer taps at the officers' club? Snorting a few lines in his bunk? What?


Click to enlarge. Gawd, what a hero.
***

Pic of Sen. McCai contestant at the Brussels Feline Beauty Contest, via Yahoo news.

Formerly respected senator has partisan hissy fit
Squealing little Bush assmonkey John "illegitimate black baby" McCain continues his descent into total ineffectual pussitude.

As I see McCain get so publicly angry and indignant at some routine political maneuvering by Obama, I wonder what the hell happened to this man’s moral and ethical compass. While I have nothing but the highest regard for the courage that was required for McCain to survive over five years as a prisoner of war in Vietnam, I lost a lot of respect for the former Naval officer when he rolled over to George W. Bush – and has continued to do so – after what Bush did to him and his family during the 2000 presidential primaries.

Where was the anger and machismo then, when it was really warranted?

- Indeed. The always pithy Bob Geiger.

LA mayor to Bush: O rly?
How convenient that Bunnypants discloses information on al-Qaeda hijack plot right in the middle of his NSA scandal, but Katrina documents are still ‘highly sensitive.’

Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa said Thursday he was blindsided by Bush's announcement of a purported 2002 hijacking plot aimed at a downtown skyscraper, and described communication with the White House as "nonexistent."

"I'm amazed that the president would make this (announcement) on national TV and not inform us of these details through the appropriate channels," the mayor said in an interview with The Associated Press. "I don't expect a call from the president - but somebody."

Cheney authorized Libby to leak classified information
Including a "then-still highly classified National Intelligence Estimate," according to court correspondence recently filed by special prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald.

Dick Cheney's former chief of staff, Scooter Libby, testified to a federal grand jury that he had been "authorized" by Cheney and other White House "superiors" in the summer of 2003 to disclose classified information to journalists to defend the Bush misadministration's use of prewar intelligence in making the case to go to war with Iraq, according to attorneys and court records.

The public correspondence does not mention the identities of the "superiors" who authorized the leaking of the classified information, but people with firsthand knowledge of the matter identified one of them as Cheney. Libby also testified that he worked closely with then-Deputy National Security Adviser Stephen Hadley and White House Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove in deciding what information to leak to the press to build public support for the war, and later, postwar, to defend the administration's use of prewar intelligence.

- read more here.

Fun fact: even though it's looking more and more like Karl Rove leaked highly classified national security info, he still has security clearance.


"Arrr! Grrrrr! Zzzt!"
*****

Oh please
Bush claims his war on terra averted attacks. That sound you hear is everyone's Crap Detector going off.

Hell, I personally thwarted 80 or so! Prove I didn't!

The White House has given details of 10 "major terror plots" that [the Lying Smirkmonkey] says have been foiled by the US and its allies since the 11 September attacks.

Mr Bush cited the disrupted plans in a speech, designed to boost support for the so-called war on terror. They include a plot to use hijacked aircraft to hit the US East and West coasts and to attack Heathrow Airport. But the sketchy details provided by the White House make it hard to assess how serious or advanced the plans were...

Or how many were the "two guys trying to bring down the Brooklyn Bridge with screwdrivers" type. Show me the convictions, asshat, then we'll talk.

Jaw, meet floor
MikeD emails to ask if anyone else watched The O'Reilly Factor last night - evidently after guest Al Sharpton joked he'd say nice things at Bill's eulogy, O'Reilly said 'In my will it's gonna say Al Sharpton must be in chains during my funeral." His face went pale when he realized what he said. Did anyone see that?

I never had any relationship with that lobbyist Jack Abramoff
Emails surface revealing Smirky McLiar's relationship with disgraced GOP crook Abramoff was more extensive than the White House has let on. The indicted lobbyist claims to have met Chimpy at least a dozen times, was invited to the Lazy W in Crawford, shared jokes with him and related details of his family.

One email, to Kim Eisler of Washingtonian magazine, read

"He has one of the best memories of any politican I have ever met. It was one of his trademarks, though of course he can't recall all those hot, steamy nights we spent in his secret 'Batcave' that he has a great memory! The guy saw me in almost a dozen settings, and joked with me about a bunch of things, including details of my kids. Perhaps he has forgotten everything. Who knows.

Click to enlarge.

Cronyism. Just another word for blowjobs.
Yore doin' a heckuva job, Deutschy.

The Bush administration long ago secured a special place in history for the audacity with which it manipulates science to suit its political ends. But it set a new standard of cynicism when it allowed NASA's leading authority on global warming to be mugged by a 24-year-old presidential appointee who, quite apart from having no training on that issue, had inflated his résumé.

In this case, the censor was George Deutsch, a functionary in NASA's public affairs office whose chief credential appears to have been his service with President Bush's re-election campaign and inaugural committee.

- from a NY Times editorial. Heh.


"Lying's OK, my son, as long as you're a republican."
****

Wooden it be nice
Skippy has fun with George Washington's iPod selections.

Great moments in television
Wolf, you ignorant slut...

CNN's Jack Cafferty on John Boehner: These guys are either arrogant or stupid and neither of those is a good thing if you're going to be the House majority leader -- am I missing something here? Where's the reform part? I wonder how long this guy is going to last.

Wolf: You did hear Ed Henry say that it is a basement apartment which is not necessarily all that desirable ---

Cafferty: Yeah... and pigs fly upside down and the moon is made of green cheese and there's no quid pro quo from a lobbyist who is also your landlord? Do I look like I just fell out of the back of a vegetable truck to you?

Crooks and Liars has the video.

Speaking of boehners, Ed Henry - like Wolf Blitzer - has been getting nightly rectum-adjustments by the GOP, so I wouldn't exactly count on him for unbiased reportatude.

Another day, another entry in Rove's blacklist
Republican Senator Arlen Specter, who has expressed 'doubts about the spy program's legality,' wants to give the FISA court authority over the surveillance program, in effect granting them surveillance over the Bush misadministration's warrantless surveillance. I see...

Me me meme
In the spirit of Mimus Pauly, I went to Google Images and typed in "Maru," and this is what came up:



I'm the one on the left.
*****

Corrupt, unethical scumbag lands coveted Appropriations spot
Warning: this is NOT an article from The Onion.

Wtf????? It's like putting a child-molester in charge of daycare! The Dems should be all over this like flies on shit! Gah!

Indicted Rep. Tom DeLay, forced to step down as the No. 2 republican in the House, scored a soft landing Wednesday as GOP leaders rewarded him with a coveted seat on the powerful Appropriations Committee.

DeLay, R-Insane, also claimed a seat on the subcommittee overseeing the Justice Department, which is currently investigating an influence-peddling scandal involving disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff and his dealings with lawmakers.

Oh great! I don't see any conflict of interest, do you?! Jebus Christ!

Pic by Abe Vigodas Ghost.

Nation's attorney general caught in another lie
Gee, lucky for him he wasn't under oath!

The Washington Post reports that Abuto Gonzales's testimony Monday directly contradicted what the Bush misadministration told FISA judges.

Not only that, but the judges were warned that the warrantless spying program may have been "improperly used" and had "serious doubts" about whether it was legal.

Both judges expressed concern to senior officials that the president's program, if ever made public and challenged in court, ran a significant risk of being declared unconstitutional, according to sources familiar with their actions.

To dream the impossible dream...
Democrats.com offers $1,000 to any reporter who asks Chimpy McFlightsuit "How can you claim you were trying to avoid war through the UN, when you told Prime Minister Blair on Jan. 31, 2003 that if you failed to get a resolution from the UN authorizing war, 'military action would follow anyway'?"

Bush's hard sell ain't selling
"He's smoking Dutch cleanser," says repub Arlen Specter, rather mysteriously.

Uh-huh
Gee, thanks for caring, moo-rons.
We'll get right on that.
Not.

Well, fucking duh
Ya think??? "Some Democrats Are Sensing Missed Opportunities," major asskickings by disgusted voters.

Rove's blacklist gets new entry, sweat stains
Whoa

Heather Wilson, a House republican whose subcommittee oversees the National Security Agency, broke ranks with the White House on Tuesday and called for a "painstaking" full Congressional inquiry into the Bush misadministration's illegal domestic eavesdropping program.

"The president has his duty to do, but I have mine too, and I feel strongly about that," she said.

Deutsch-bag resigns from NASA
WWJD?

Unqualified fundie hack George Deutsch - Smirky McMoron's crony appointee at NASA who told a web designer to add the word "theory" at every mention of the Big Bang - resigned yesterday, the same day that officials at Texas A&M University confirmed that he did not graduate from there, "as his résumé on file at the agency asserted."

Bush faces criticism at funeral
Chimpy McDumbass came in for criticism during the funeral of Coretta Scott King, with speakers questioning his war in Iraq, his illegal domestic spying program, his misadministration's nonresponse to Hurricane Katrina, his ancestry, his IQ, his legitimacy, and the size of his peener.

Reverend Joseph Lowery, who along with Martin Luther King Jr founded the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, openly questioned the priorities of the White House and the premises of the US-led war in Iraq.

Lowery said no weapons of mass destruction were found in Iraq but that there were "weapons of misdirection" employed in the United States.

"For war billions more, but no more for the poor," he said to cheers and applause.

Open letter to idiotic partisan gasbag
Dear Tweety,

Christ, you're pathetic. Just what size is your asshole now?

Loathe,
WTF

Maleficent brownshirt dismisses criticism of spy program, any chance for a dialogue
Emperor Palpa Cheney to critics: you can all kiss my ass.

He expressed little interest in working with Congress to settle legal disputes regarding the domestic eavesdropping program.

"We believe that we have all the legal authority we need," der reichsmarshall said in an interview on PBS.

Well, #uck you, zeke.

Scott, you ignorant slut
Hero/patriot Helen Thomas drops the N-bomb on WH spokesliar Snott McClellan:

Q: Does the president think he should obey the law? He put his hand on the Bible twice to uphold the Constitution. Wiretapping is not legal under the circumstances without a warrant.

MCCLELLAN: Well, I guess you didn't pay attention to the attorney general's hearing earlier today, because he walked through very clearly the rationale behind this program.

Q: There is no rationale --

MCCLELLAN: And Helen, I think you have to ask --

Q: -- (inaudible, possibly "oh God, here it comes...") -- the law.

MCCLELLAN: I think you have ask are we -- well, he's not -- are we a nation at war.

Q: That's not the question.

MCCLELLAN: No, that is the issue here.

Q: The question is, the point is, there are means for him to go to -- get a warrant to spy on people.

MCCLELLAN: Enemy surveillance is critical to waging and winning war. It's one of the traditional tools of war.

Q: But he says he doesn't have running room --

MCCLELLAN: The attorney general outlined very clearly today how previous administrations have used the same authority --

Q: That doesn't make it legal.

MCCLELLAN: -- and cited the same -- and cited the very same authority.

Q: (Inaudible, possibly "Jebus K Fuckenstein") -- they broke the law, that's too bad.

MCCLELLAN: And we're going to continue doing everything we can --

Q: You know what happened to Nixon when he broke the law.

MCCLELLAN: -- within our power to protect the American people. This is a very different circumstance, and you know that.

Q: No, I don't. You short-fingered, fascistic a-hole.

Fun fact: "Intelligence officers who eavesdropped on thousands of Americans under authority from [Squinty McStaggers] have dismissed nearly all of them as potential suspects" in any kind of terrist activity.

Not only does Bush have the authority to order warrantless wiretaps, he has the authority to have you whacked
Gee. I feel safer already.

DOJ official Steven Bradbury tells closed-door Senate intelligence committee that the Boy King has the authority to order killings inside the US.

Tallulah Blankhead
"Noron" - :: giggle ::
Maybe we should have a contest to rename partisan bloatbag Chris 'Tweety' Matthews.

Posturing for political gain, preznential backpats
Well, I guess McCain's out in 2008, because people don't vote for angry senators... right, Mr. Mehlman?

Barack Obama responds to insane crybaby John "GW's Bitch' McCain's petty, whiny diatribe with a polite, professional "Wtf are you talking about, asshat?"

Truthiness
All right, now come on! Abu Gonzales declares that Presidents Lincoln and Washington authorized electronic surveillance on a broader scale than Drinky McStupid.

What's worse is that some people will believe it.

"In America, we are all bound by the rule of law"
Unless you're a republican.

Lazy fascist "Attorney General Gonzales is supposed to represent the interests of the American people, and not the president. Sadly, the ‘people’s lawyer’ today hid behind the veil of national security and failed to answer simple and legitimate questions from Senators on both sides of the aisle."

- Caroline Fredrickson, Director of the ACLU Washington Legislative Office.

"Those dickheads in Congress need to #ucking wake up, get off their asses and fully investigate this matter," she went on to say. Mostly.

A cross-synergistic, proactive benchmarking paradigm: executing with excellence
Yerp, it's that time of year again, when I have to drop everything in order to work on my Performance and Development plan metrics. Here's what I have so far:

Provided personal resources to empower project teams for optimized execution and cross-functional transparency. Managed integrated strategeries to assist in the facilitation of milestone and stage-gate decisions for the overall development of upcoming programs.

I don't know what it means either, but I'm pretty sure it means I need an improved functional-area increase in compensation.



Honor. Integrity. Fascisism.
Congressional sources say pasty, grublike thug Karl Rove has threatened to blacklist any republican who votes against the Dictator-tot in the Senate Judiciary Committee’s investigation into the misadministration's unauthorized wiretapping.

The sources said the blacklist would mean a halt in any White House political or financial support of senators running for re-election in November. "It's hardball all the way," a senior GOP congressional aide said.

The sources said the administration has been alarmed over the damage that could result from the Senate hearings, which began on Monday, Feb. 6. They said the defection of even a handful of Republican committee members could result in a determination that the president violated the 1978 Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act. Such a determination could lead to impeachment proceedings.

Over the last few weeks, Rove has been calling in virtually every Republican on the Senate committee as well as the leadership in Congress. The sources said Rove's message has been that a vote against Bush would destroy GOP prospects in congressional elections.

What a #ucking snot. If these guys had any ounce of integrity or balls they would gang up on the miserable little shit, tell him to STFU, then pound his fat pimply ass into jelly.

I'm here. Work sucks.