In memorium: LaMew. Rest with meeces, dear kittie. : (

Ozzie guarding against inappropriate TV programs.

Whoa

Cool pics of galaxies colliding.

Heh

lolCommute: "devoted to mocking the people who torment you on your commute to and from work by talking too loudly on their cell phone."

Oy

A letter that Preznit Dumbass McRetard personally delivered to then-Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon four years ago -- giving the Jewish state permission to expand the West Bank settlements -- has emerged as a significant obstacle to the mindfuckingly stupid DisasterMonkey's efforts to forge a peace deal between the Israelis and Palestinians.

"We don't torture"

At the 4/24 press con with WH spokesliar Dana Peroxide, hero/patriot Helen Thomas -- the only living human with a functioning brain in the White House Press Corpse -- not only blasted the Dictator-tot for lying about not torturing detainees, she ripped into her own colleagues for turning a blind eye to it.

During this afternoon’s White House press briefing, reporter Helen Thomas noted that Bush “has admitted that he did sign off on torture” saying it damages “the credibility of this country.” {...}

Seeming to acknowledge her colleagues’ absence on this story, an exasperated Thomas said out loud after her exchange with Perino: “Where is everybody? For God’s sakes.”

Indeed. I guess they're too busy having beer and donuts on the Senile Express. Video here.


For Ms Thomas.

In which we ask the eternal question 'How big of an asshole is Terry McAuliffe?'

Answer: you could fit a pie-plate in there and still have room for... what? Oh, OK then, "huge."

Mr. McAuliffe, always a squirrelly little shit, has upgraded to "big weaselly Rovian fucktard" for his shameful supreme suckupnitude to Fox Noise.

McCain opposes equal pay bill, votes fer wimmin, kids on his lawn

Maverick Sen. John McClone, campaigning through poverty-stricken cities and towns, said Wednesday he opposes a Senate Democratic bill that seeks equal pay for women because it would lead to more lawsuits, wimminfolk getting uppity ideas.

"Broads ought to stay at home, making sandwiches and raising babi... uh, I didn't mean you, dear! Trollopy cunt.... heh heh!"

Petraeus' shift to Central Command spurs questions

Like "So when do we start bombing Iran, you sorry bastards?" and "How's the weather up Stupie McDimbulb's ass?"

IOKIFYAR!!

McSame's pastor says God Damned America because of the fags. Just as they did with the story about b. HUSSEIN Mohammed Karl Marx Osama Obama, the "liberal media" is screeching bloody murd......oh ...what? Well they will...you just wait.

Bush pals live it up while we all pay thru the ass

Federal contractors owe billions of dollars in unpaid taxes, "a persistent problem that Congress is now moving to address." 

Our Congress. Right.

Penile News

Eeks! What happened to my dick??

Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft....
Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.

Mmmmm, THERE it is

SUMMARY: Researchers find that men who masturbate frequently are at a reduced risk of cancer.

Time to get in touch with my Man to Hand relationship.

Bombshell allegations in court: Karl Rove accused in a plot to fire U.S. Atty. Patrick Fitzgerald

Porcine handmaiden of Satan implicated in yet another corrupt act in which nothing will happen to him afterwards.

At the trial of Antoin "Tony" Rezko, prosecutors revealed Wednesday that former Rezko confidant Ali Ata was prepared to testify that Rezko told him in November 2004 of a plan to pull strings with scumbag and then-White House political director Karl Rove and have Fitzgerald fired.

On Wednesday, assistant U.S. Atty. Carrie Hamilton told U.S. District Judge Amy St. Eve that Ata was prepared to testify that Rezko told him Kjellander was working with Rove "to have Fitzgerald removed."

At the time, Fitzgerald also was leading a high-profile investigation into a Bush misadministration leak of the identity of CIA agent Valerie Plame, a probe that eventually led to the perjury conviction of Scooter Libby, top aide to Dick Cheney.

Rove's attorney, Robert Luskin, said his client "does not recall" Kjellander or anyone else arguing for Fitzgerald's removal.

Of course he doesn't! Why should he be any different than anybody else in the misadministration!

Via BuzzFlash (please visit and contribute to a worthy cause!).

The media's mancrush on McCain

Saint McSame Suck-Up Watch, a subsidiary of IOKIYAR, via Media Matters:

In his April 22 Washington comPost column, Richard Cohen asserted of John McCain:

"He's an honorable man who has fudged and ducked and swallowed the truth on occasion {Along with the more-than-occasional cock-spute from the Bush WH -- Ed.} -- about the acceptability of the Confederate flag, for instance -- but always, I think, for understandable although not necessarily admirable reasons."

By contrast, Cohen described Sen. Hillary Clinton's remarks about being under sniper fire in Bosnia as a "polygraph buster" and said of Clinton: "She wants to become president so badly that she has made the goal more important than how she gets there."

But McCain "fudged and ducked" on the issue of the Confederate flag -- the only example of McCain's inconsistency, evasions, and falsehoods offered by Cohen -- presumably for the same reason that Cohen ascribes to Clinton: He wanted to be elected president. But rather than describing McCain's flag statements as disqualifying, as he did with Clinton, Cohen declared them "understandable"; rather than asserting that McCain's acts have "rendered [him] incapable of doing an essential part of the job," Cohen wrote that, in contrast with Clinton, "John McCain could do it" -- that is, restore trust in the U.S. government.

Here, Mr Cohen, collect your prize, you cumdribbling hypocrite:


BTW, it's empty, just like your fucking head. Turd.

a Classic Case of Erectile Dysfunction

We've been calling the tear jerker with a bad tan a BONER for quite a while

He prefers that no one address him as “Congressman” but instead call him “John” or simply “Boehner.” Close friends and colleagues, President Bush among them, endearingly refer to him as “Boner."

It must be difficult hard to be such a dick.

GOP candidate speaks at Hitler event

St McCain's fellow rethuglican a Nazi symp/white supremacist. Outraged calls for denunciation over every media outlet in 3... 2... what, is Hillary cackling again? Go to the tape!

A congressional candidate is defending his speech to a group celebrating the anniversary of Adolf Hitler's birth, saying he appeared simply because he was asked.

Tony "Dumbwad" Zirkle, who is seeking the Republican nomination in northern Indiana's 2nd District, stood in front of a painting of Hitler, next to people wearing swastika armbands and with a swastika flag in the background for the speech to the American National Socialist Workers Party in Chicago on Sunday. The event was not the first time Zirkle has raised controversy on race issues. In March, Zirkle raised the idea of segregating races in separate states.

"I'll speak before any group that invites me," Zirkle said Monday. "I've spoken on an African-American radio station in Atlanta."

He compared his speech to other politicians appearing at Bob Jones University.

OMG!! How will John McCain respond?!

HERE Is Some Straight Talk, My Friends

America's American maverick American straight talking American maverick is a double dipper AND Welfare queen

When McCain released his tax return for 2007 on Friday, he separately disclosed that he received a pension of $58,358 that was not listed as income on his return.
On Monday, McCain's staff identified the retirement benefit as a "disability pension" and said that McCain "was retired as disabled because of his limited body movements due to injuries as a POW."......

Certain types of military and veterans pensions are either partially or completely tax-exempt, depending on the seriousness of the disability. In McCain's case, the exemption is 100%.

100% tax exempt and 100% disabled. Why is he getting 100% disability if he is as fit and healthy as he would like everyone to think? Anyone? Anyone? Beuhller?

Madam, You're Pants, They're On Fire

Jimmy Carter calls Chimpy's other wife, the one with an failboat oil tanker named after her, a lying dominatrix, or something like that.

Moron: b Hussein Osama has too much class to be a "regular guy"

"It's too debonaire; it's too Fred Astaire; it's too Kumbaya." -- Chris Matthews, talking about Barack Obama last night.

"Ya know, I can't picture him belching, holding a beer in one hand, a bowling ball in the other, and scratching his... heh! No! I betcha Hillary could, though! Ha!"

Idiot.

And so is everyone who would vote for somebody who would be "fun to have a beer with."

Alert Stephen Colbert!

No reason for the attack?? Hint: it's a fucking grizzly bear, people! Honestly.

Bush "Justice" official pleads guilty in Abramoff probe

Ahhh, bringing that ol' honor and dignity back to DC...

The Bush/Cheney Justice Department lost another of its own fellow crooks to the Jack Abramoff lobbying scandal Tuesday as a former high-ranking department attorney -- in the goddamn fucking US Justice Department -- pleaded guilty to conflict of interest.

Well, I suppose that is more 'grown up' than getting a blowjob.

Rethug rep calls immigrants "illiterate peasants"

So, Sen McCain, do you denounce this controversial statement by a fellow western re... oh, what was I thinking.

DENVER -- Lawmakers are trying to determine what kind of action will be taken against Republican Rep. Douglas Bruce after he was ordered to leave the podium of the Colorado House of Representatives for saying that Colorado doesn't need "5,000 more illiterate peasants."

Bruce made the comment Monday during a debate on a bill that would allow the state to help immigrant workers get temporary visas from the federal government. Rep. Kathleen Curry, D-Gunnison, who was chairing the floor debate, ordered Bruce to leave the speaker's podium after saying, "How dare you?"

Bruce denied later he was talking about Mexicans, rather, it was in regard to greasy, shiftless... ummm, look! Batman!

Matthews' moist man-crush on maverick McCain

Cindypills McCain (guest-hosting on The View): "Like anybody who is concerned about America, [that freakin' old guy I married] is passionate about issues. All of us are. We all have our pet issues. We all have whatever it is we’re involved in. Like mine are these little yellow p... ow! Stop kicking me, Elizabeth! He is passionate about the future of this country. Some people mistake that for temper. It’s not."

Chris Matthews (basically): "That's good enough for me!"

C&L has the video.

The Force is Strong With This One

Your Emperorship Holiness I so admire the work your organization did in the late 1400s against the Islamic rebels, and I vow to continue, it's my destiny....

Straight gop talking points

Doddering old nincompoop uneasy over Obama's 3rd grade playmate, choice of side dish, robots that eat old people's medicine for fuel.

Senile John McCain said Sunday he was concerned about b Hussein Osama's ties to former radical William Ayers, his own ties to radical evangelicals not so much.

"I'm sure he's very patriotic. But his relationship with Mr. Ayers is open to question... if you're going to associate and have as a friend and serve on a board and have a guy kick off your campaign that says he's unrepentant, that he wished they had bombed more," McCain said to fawning toady George Stephanopoulos before turning to yell at a squirrel on the studio lawn.

Oil gushes to new record

Oil prices rose Tuesday to an all-time high of over $119 a barrel on concerns that Sen. b Hussein Osama's former gym coach does not have an American flag waving outside his apartment.

Progress!!

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice mocked anti-American cleric Muqtada al-Sadr as a coward on Sunday, during a "surprise" visit to Baghdad Sunday, as a ceremony featuring Rice in the Green Zone was delayed by a “duck and cover” alert, “one of several during her six-hour visit to the fortified compound housing the U.S. Embassy and much of the Iraqi government.” There were three separate rocket attacks during her visit.

Angry McCain aide furious over reports of candidate's temper

"But you're our base!" screams a frothing Mark Silter in a major conniption-fit.

The best rebooblican team on television

Oh good: Bush White House propagandist Tony Snow has joined CNN as a conservative commentator. Because, dammit, there aren't enough gpuke cum-dribbling fuckwads abusing and sliming Democrats in the media.

Fox Nooze anchor, Fox Noise radio host and Bill O'Reilly's go-to guy when he's too busy abusing falafels to host his radio show is looking forward to developing a "deep, creative and aggressive analysis of both political parties, their candidates and campaigns" on the most trusted name in old white guy news.

I'm looking forward to his agressive analysis, not only of Sen. Osama's bitter campaign, but Hitlary's shrill one and St McCain's Reaganesque, straight-talking mavericknitude. Golly, I'm so verklempt I could plotz!!!11!

Waiting For a High, Hard One.....or Low and Inside?

As a recovering Catholic and former Altar Boy, my aging prostrate went into acute flashback ass-spasms as Dr. Attaturk wondered as the Altar boys at Yankee Stadium did as well, Who gets to play catcher?

It's official: Bush is the worst president evar

Disapproval of the aWol DisasterMonkey breaks all records, number of moron-Americans still high.

Bush has set a record he'd presumably prefer to avoid: the highest disapproval rating of any president in the 70-year history of the Gallup Poll.

In a USA Toady/Gallup Poll taken Friday through Sunday, 28% of Americans approve of the job Bush is doing; 69% disapprove. The approval rating matches the low point of his presidency, and the disapproval sets a new high for any president since Franklin Roosevelt.

Assessments of Bush's presidency are harsh. By 69-27%, those polled say Bush's tenure in general has been a failure, not a success.

Why do Americans hate America?

Not to worry, I'm sure his numbers will go up after his appearance on "Deal or No Deal" where he actually joked about the shitty economy.


Asswipe.

Where's George the media?

Still humping Mr 28% Approval Rating's jizz-encrusted pants leg.

"So what ever happened to [Retard McJebus], the worst chief executive this nation has ever endured? This is an election year. Aren't we supposed to be evaluating the legacy of the previous administration?

"In this case, we have a man whose approval ratings are subterranean. Who's sunk us into an endless war based on impeachable lies. Who's dragged our national honor into the toxic mud. Who's brought us to the brink of depression. Who's dropped the dollar into the toilet. Who wants more subsidies for terror-target nuke reactors and more tax breaks for CO2-spewing oil barons.

"Who screams 'Terror! Terror! Terror!' at every possible moment, but lets Osama bin Laden run free.

"What would Limbaugh, O'Reilly and the rest of the corporate bloviators be screaming today if a Democrat had hosted the 9/11 attacks and then let their perpetrator roam the world without capture for more than six years?"

-- Harvey Wasserman. More here.