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A sterling record
'After risking his life in Vietnam to save others, John Kerry earned the right to speak out against a war he believed was wrong.'

I believe those who didn't serve, or didn't show up for service, should just shut the fuck u {Sorry - ed.} have the decency to respect those who did serve — often under the most dangerous conditions, with bravery and, yes, with undeniable patriotism.

- hero/patriot Wesley Clark.




We rejoin the Scott McClellan asspounding, already in progress.

Q: Okay. Regarding Kerry, there's been much that has been made about whether or not he has thrown away his ribbons, his medals, or pretended to, or whatever. Kerry says it's a smear campaign. He also says that it's a phony controversy. But he goes beyond that, and he says that this comes from a President who can't even show or prove that he showed up for duty in the National Guard. Your response?

Scott: I think you're asking to get into political attacks by Senator Kerry. {Ed: excuse me??} This is the latest political attack. And I think that those questions are best directed to the campaign.

Q: But his campaign manager says that there is no place, really, to even look at his record or even what happened after his record, because --

Scott: Well, Suzanne, no one is --

Q: -- Bush and Cheney did not serve in Vietnam. Do you think that's fair?

Scott: gah!

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Overture, curtain, lights
Dick 'n' Bunnypants rehearse their lines

Flash cards, hand signals, and hypnosis are all being considered as Unca Dick is busily trying to prep pReznit Poopypants for their joint appearance this week before the commission investigating the 9/11 terrorist attacks.

White House spokes-hamster Scott McClellan denied that they're appearing together to 'get the story straight'.

The behind-closed-doors meeting is expected to start at 9:30 a.m. on Thursday. Neither will be under oath. At the request of the White House, the interview will not be taped or aired, and no transcript will be produced.



Q: Scott, did the White House request there not be any transcribers -- any recording or stenographers in the meeting, in the 9/11 Commission hearing?

Scott: I think that was a request -- I checked on that -- that we discussed with the commission, and they were fine with it.

Q: And what is the advantage that you see in that? This is a very historic meeting.

Scott: Well, this is a private meeting, first of all, Elisabeth. And let's keep in mind that it is extraordinary for a sitting President of the United States to sit down with the legislatively created commission. But these are unique circumstances and the President is pleased to do so. The President appreciates the job of the September 11th Commission. We strongly support their work. And we have been pleased to provide the commission unprecedented cooperation and unprecedented access to information, so they can do their work and help us better fight and win the war on terrorism.

Q: Right, if I can just follow up. So if this session is an extraordinary event and such an extraordinary meeting, why do you not want an official record of it?

Q: Scott, following up to what Elisabeth said, somewhat. Before Dr. Rice testified publicly, President Bush said it was important for the American public to know about the events leading up to 9/11. If that is the case, why not have the President testify publicly, even with a transcript? And why not under oath?

Scott: Why do you hate America?!?!?

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Operation Fubar: making progress
US pounds Falluja, fighting continues in Baghdad and Najaf.

An AC-130, a powerful gunship that can unleash a deluge of ordnance, joined 105mm howitzers in a thunderous show of force that rocked Fallujah Tuesday night.

"I think that realistically if you've got some very tough people in a city that are terrorists ... that you have to expect that they're not going to be terribly cooperative. Now, does that mean that something can't be worked out? No," Darth Rumsfeld blithely said to reporters.


"There's sovereignty and then there's authority..." - WH spokes-hamster Scott McClellan (paraphrased).

The situation not being #ucked up enough, unindicted Iran-Contra criminal John 'human rights' Negroponte, the Bushies' new ambassador to Iraq, suggested that Iraq's "caretaker government" would only be a figurehead, with the US remaining in control of security forces, and the new government not having any authority to pass laws. What idiots. You can imagine how well that went over.

Mohsen Abdel-Hamid, a Sunni Arab on the Governing Council, said the prospect of the United States retaining some sovereignty is "not acceptable, this is totally rejected."

If the Americans do not respect agreements on giving complete sovereignty, "then the Iraqi people know what route to take," he said.

What a complete and utter #uckup.

Update: There was a new US bombardment of Falluja this morning.


Iraq situation is worse than any US news outlet will say
Democrats.com reports: Jamie Wilson, writing in the Guardian, lays out the whole sorry picture of what it really happening in Iraq - as opposed to the US media version -- which focuses on a battle here, a press statement there, a "patriotic human interest story" there.

A few facts: electricity, water, and sewage are still down in many areas, with summer's heat coming rapidly on; 25% of all contractors have left the country, while 75% are holed up at bases; General Electric and Siemens have temporarily abandoned work on Iraq's vital Daura power plant - which is still unrestored. Meanwhile, the new bombings ordered by Bush are creating NEW reconstruction needs, and more chaos, leading to more reconstruction delays. Says Wilson: "Publicly, the British and US governments are trying to play down the extent of the problems."



115 so far for this month alone.




Helen Thomas gets all fallujah on Scott McClellan's ass
Ms Thomas: Why is Fallujah and Najaf under siege? Why are they - and is the President willing to see them go into a Waco or Guernica?

Scott: I'm sorry, where are you getting that from, Helen?

Ms Thomas: That if they are under siege, and we decide to go in, and there is that kind of resistance, there will be tremendous bloodshed.

Scott: Helen, that is a highly speculative characterization that you are making there.

Ms Thomas: Well, we do have them under siege, both towns, don't we?

Scott: And I would not describe it that way. First of all, we have been working very closely with Iraqi officials in those areas to bring about a peaceful resolution to the situation. The coalition has been working to partner with Iraqi security forces to improve the security situation. There are a lot of developments going on, on the ground. Certainly, if coalition forces are fired upon, namely our Marines, in the case of Fallujah, they will defend themselves. Now there are some thugs and terrorists that continue to exist in areas of Fallujah.

Ms Thomas: -- maybe they're just Iraqis.

Scott: Helen, all you have to have to do is look at the types of attacks that they carried out on innocent Americans recently to know that these are thugs and terrorists. They have no regard for human life.

Ms Thomas: Are we doing the same thing?

Scott: We will not let them prevail. However, as I said, we are working to improve the security situation there. We're working with Iraqi leaders. You're seeing a partnering with Iraqi security forces to begin patrols in Fallujah and to bring about a peaceful resolution to the situation. They've been working with civilian leaders there. But there is a difference between civilian leaders and thugs and terrorists who seek to derail the transition to democracy for the Iraqi people. And they have no place in Iraq.

Ms Thomas: Maybe they're defending their own country against an occupation.

Tigger and the new kittens, 4/27/04.


Dear Karen
If that really is your name...

Your friends in the administration have repeatedly stated that our troops are fighting for freedom: to allow people to control their own lives and make their own decisions. Yet this administration and this Congress are working to take away American women's rights to make their own decisions.

- Gloria Feldt, President, Planned Parenthood Federation of America, Inc.


Democratic members of Congress joined the Planned Parenthood Federation and the Feminist Majority in calling on reich uberc*nt Karen Hughes to apologize for remarks she made Sunday on CNN, in which she compared pro-choice advocates to Osama-hugging terrorists.

The lawmakers went a step further and wrote the fascist punk a letter: "Mr. President, you came to office by promising to be 'a uniter, not a divider.' Your aide's comments have the potential to be extremely divisive by invoking the war on terrorism. It is cheap and distasteful politics and we ask you to take a stand against it.''

Yeah, good luck with that. Thanks for trying, though.

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Dems blast Bush military record
From AFP: Democrats launched an assault on George W. Bush's military record, suggesting it was marked by privileged treatment and unanswered questions while their challenger John Kerry fought in Vietnam.

The Democratic campaign issued a list of questions on Bush's record in the Texas Air National Guard a day after Kerry exploded at Republican jibes over his Vietnam war decorations and his later anti-war activities. ....

Among the questions raised: "Bush has said he used no special treatment to get into the Guard. How does he explain the fact that he jumped ahead of 150 applicants despite low pilot-aptitude scores?"

"Why did Bush specifically request to not be sent overseas for duty?"

"Why did Bush miss his medical exam in 1972?"

"Why is the Pentagon under orders not to discuss Bush's record with reporters?"

The Democrats also renewed questions about whether Bush shirked duty from May 1972 to May 1973, during which he worked on an unsuccessful US Senate campaign in the state of Alabama and received an early release to attend Harvard Business School.

And the whole press release from the Kerry campaign is here. Beautiful!

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Iraqis: what are we, chopped liver?
The US-owned governing council unveils the new Cheney's Loot & Lube national flag. Widespread public disapproval ensues.

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Karen Hughes' high-octane gall
What did the president do with his medals?

With amazing chutzpah, the Bush flack says reporters should ask more questions about John Kerry's military history. What they really ought to explore is her role in covering up Bush's spotty National Guard record.

- Joe Conason.


Don't let your cowboys grow up to be babies
Finally, a picture of big Texas cowpoke George W Bush on a horse.

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Vietnam warns of another Vietnam
Former foe's advice to US: get the #uck out before it's too late

"No country in the world will accept a foreign invasion." - Tran Nhung, Colonel with great pornstar name.

Imperialist wars of aggression in which a rich, powerful country meddles in the affairs of a smaller, weaker one whose culture it doesn't understand leads to just one thing: a big stinky quagmire.

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Advice needed
A coworker just told me that kittens don't open their eyes until they're three weeks old. Is this true? Because if it is, either I have a new species of varmint or I've discovered a distortion in the space-time continuum.

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Democrats question Bush on Sept. 11 funds
Rep. David Obey grew a set and joined Sen. Robert Byrd on Monday to demand a full accounting of how the Bush misadministration used emergency funds earmarked for the 9/11 aftermath, after allegations in the new Bob Woodward book said $700 million was "diverted" to prepare for the war in Iraq without consulting Congress.

"Look! John Kerry's medals!"
/whore media, repukes

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Middle-finger news

ClearChannel's San Diego station ratings fell from 8.9 to 0.7 after dropping Howard Stern. In related news, every station that still carried Howard had their ratings go up.

Sales soar for "Idiot President" bag.

The Politics of Truth: Inside the Lies that Led to War and Betrayed My Wife's CIA Identity, the new book by Ambassador Joseph Wilson, is now available.

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No sense of decency
"I had other priorities in the '60s than military service." - Dick Cheney, coward.

Funny, isn't it? When Bill Clinton was running against Republican war veterans in 1992 and 1996, the most important thing to GOP propagandists and politicians was that Clinton didn't fight in Vietnam. Now that Republican candidates who didn't fight in Vietnam face a Democrat who did -- and was awarded the Silver Star, the Bronze Star and three Purple Hearts while he was there -- the Republican machine wants to change the subject.

-EJ Dionne

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PSM
John Kerry Is A Douchebag But I'm Voting For Him Anyway dot com.

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Kerry: prove it, pussy
After days of letting the war-deserting chickenshit punk manufacture scandals concerning his three Purple Hearts and his anti-war activities, John Kerry has finally put his foot down.

"If George Bush wants to ask me questions about that through his surrogates, he owes America an explanation about whether or not he showed up for duty in the National Guard. Prove it. That's what we ought to have," Kerry told NBC News in an interview. "I'm not going to stand around and let them play games."

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

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If you're pro-choice, you're a terr'ist!
Jebus.

pResidential nanny and pro-wrestler Karen Hughes, sounding like a brainwashed crackpot in some neonazi religious cult, said that Americans support Bush's efforts to restrict abortion, especially after 9/11, because "the fundamental issue between us and the terror network we fight is that we value every life."

Gee thanks, Karen. Wave that flag, then stick the damn pole up your ass, you flaming c*nt.

News quiz for you
1. How many death row prisoners in Texas bit the big one while W was governor?
2. How many lives could be saved by stem cell research, which Dumbya opposes?
3. How many poor kids are dying while W and the rest of your assh*le buddies are walking off with millions in tax refunds?
4. How many American workers and US troops have died in Iraq?
5. How many coalition troops?
6. How many Iraqis?
7. What the holy #uck makes you think you can speak for me??

Bonus question
Did all that peroxide seep into your brain?



Oh, and bite me.

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No defense for Cheney
Bathing campaign donors in cash while stiffing the troops

When Dick criticizes past efforts to cut defense spending, he should be talking about his own. And his record in the present doesn't bear close examination, either.


Gee, THAT was handy
Within days after leaving the White House, the executive director of Dick 'Chicanery' Cheney's energy task force, Andrew Lundquist, became a lobbyist "for companies that stood to benefit from the energy policy he helped craft."

Among Cheney Andy's clients: the State of Alaska, for which he "won the right to run a natural-gas pipeline from Prudhoe Bay in the north down to the Alaskan-Yukon border, and secured a commitment of federal loan guarantees worth $2 billion." Democrats.com reports Lundquist and rethug legislators apparently paved the way by inserting a clause into the energy bill that actually forbid the construction of cheaper and faster pipelines through Canada.


"You can't touch me! I have the Supreme Court in my hip pocket!"

College leader 'disappointed' by Cheney
Heh.

FULTON, Mo. - Westminster College's president said Monday he was so "surprised and disappointed" by Dick 'dick' Cheney's attacks on John Kerry during a speech there that "in the interest of balance and fairness and integrity" he is inviting Kerry to visit for a reply.



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The right to act as it pleases
The public has no right to know what the government is doing

Cheney is defending, in other words, is a doctrine that makes the United States a sort of elected [sic] dictatorship: a system in which the president, once in office, can do whatever he likes, and isn't obliged to consult or inform either Congress or the public.

- Paul Krugman

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Kerry hits back
'Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry on Monday rejected questions over his claim to have thrown away his Navy medals in protest of the Vietnam War, contending they came from President Bush and the GOP even though they "can't even answer whether or not he showed up for duty in the National Guard."'

Yeah, baby!

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It's a show about nothing
"The people who support Fox News must be the most uncivil and foul-mouthed creatures on the planet. This is an informed opinion. They'd give English soccer hooligans a run for their money." - a writer for the Toronto Globe gets monkey mail when he compares Faux Nooze to Seinfeld.