June 30, 2008

Deep Thoughts.....

Reich-Wingnut hatemail comment of the week:

"Ann Coulter has more patriotic blood in one of her used tampons then you have in your whole body,
Which HAS to beg the question......Where would it/she put it?

Keepin' Us Safer: Great News for Rethugs!!

Yesterday, the incredibly irrelevant and jism breathed quisling Joe Lieberman(R-Tel Aviv) strongly suggested that we would be hit by a terror attack in 2009 -- and that this should make us pull the lever for McSame......you know because he would continue the strong policies of Chimpeor Maxixmus that have been so successful in making us safer as we learn that Osama bin Laden's al Qaeda is back to pre-9/11 strength and is capable of another large-scale attack.

Just as it had on the day before 9/11, Al Qaeda now has a band of terrorist camps from which to plan and train for attacks against Western targets, including the United States. Officials say the new camps are smaller than the ones the group used prior to 2001. However, despite dozens of American missile strikes in Pakistan since 2002, one retired C.I.A. officer estimated that the makeshift training compounds now have as many as 2,000 local and foreign militants, up from several hundred three years ago.
AIPAC Joe should know. It WILL happen and will all be the fault of Obama/Clinton/Carter.
We must elect another republican or it will mean our destruction. The "liberal media" is playing this old song every chance it gets and is also starting to beat the drums for war with Iran.
Heckuva job, fuckwipes.


If you are interested in being a daily or regular contributor, please send an email to damni2 at yahoo dot com.

We had to stay shut down yesterday due to the threat of thunderstorms -- they kept popping up all over the place. When your house gets zapped no matter how many lightning rods you have, you learn the hard way to keep everything unplugged. Stupid thunderstorms. Stupid head hurting.

Who's elitist?

The McCain Residences: A Google Earth Tour, by Jed:

Headline of the day

Joe Lieberman predicts that the new president will face a terror attack in 2009. Maybe he should have used his crystal ball to tell him that every single justification he gave for Iraq was false.
-- from fark.com. Fucked fact: the rethug-gargling yambag at politico took the insufferable quisling's comment to be an endorsement of Saint McMaverick. Which it probably was, but still...

Keepin' us safer

The Pentagon is refusing orders to clean up chemicals dumped at three military bases that now threaten public health.

"The Defense Department, the nation's biggest polluter, is resisting orders from the Environmental Protection Agency to clean up Fort Meade and two other military bases where the EPA says dumped chemicals pose 'imminent and substantial' dangers to public health and the environment. The Pentagon has also declined to sign agreements required by law that cover 12 other military sites on the Superfund list of the most polluted places in the country."

The return of the original Waffles 'pancake' McWhiteBread!

Weird sect-member, dog-abuser and chronic flipflopper Mitt Romney tops the vice-presidential list for John 'pancakes' McCain.

“Romney as favorite” is the hot buzz in Republican circles, and top party advisers said the case is compelling. But lack of personal chemistry could derail the pick.

Campaign insiders say McCain (R-Sainthood) maverickingly plans to name his running mate very shortly after Sen. Barack Obama does, as part of what one campaign planner called a bold, manly “bounce-mitigation strategy.” The Democratic convention is in late August, a week ahead of the Republicans.


Handy-dandy lists for the many Saint McCain flipflops, here, here, and here.

Bonus: the Bush/McCain challenge!

Just saying

What a fucking whore... With all the posts going around blogtopia (y!sctp!) last week regarding the media and how it reported "personal wealth" in the John Edwards (always) and John McCain (... crickets ...) campaigns, what does wHoward Kurtz choose to cover in his latest column? Saint Timmeh Russert. Who's still dead.

Oh, by the way, the much-better-written aftermath-of-the-death-of-Saint-Timmy piece can be read here.

More waste, fraud and abuse from the Bush misadministration

The neverending story. From a NYT editorial:

How did a company run by a 21-year-old president and a 25-year-old former masseur get a sensitive $300 million contract to supply ammunition to Afghan forces? The Pentagon’s folly with the fly-by-night trafficker is just the latest example of the Bush administration’s cynically cozy contracting practices and shockingly weak oversight that have wasted billions of dollars of taxpayers’ money.

If it wasn't our money they were talking about, it would almost be funny. But wait, it gets better:

Along the way, the company president who is now indicted, had the gall to fight off a court case accusing him of abusing his girlfriend by claiming national security privilege “in the fight against terrorism.”

He learned well from his masters in the White House!

Swift Boat vets want their "good name" back

Cry me a fucking river. Maybe most of you had nothing to do with the "nastiest of campaign smears," but now you're whining about it? Maybe beating the unholy snot out of the cretins responsible might do loooooads to restoring your reputations. And their pathetic, knuckledragging enablers in cuntserva turd media who are even now using the term and/or are asking where all the swift boaters are (malkin, fretardia, politico, powerline, andrew sullivan, american'thinker'...). Just a thought.

In a related story, those professionals fucking repuke-lapping nincompoops at CNN are accusing Gen. Wesley Clark of "swiftboating" -- for saying McInsane's time as a POW doesn't automatically bestow upon him any magical presidental powers. I was a prisoner in a bad marriage, but that doesn't qualify me to run for dogcatcher, much less the presidency. Well, you know what I mean.

My head hurts.

Anyway, good luck with that, guys. Because now the right is swiftboating Wesley Clark. And don't believe all the bullshit that he "attacked" McSaint or "blasted his record," because that's all it is. Complete and utter bullshit. Rethug manufactured outrage as usual. Read the transcript here and see for yourself. Because you won't hear about it on cable news.

June 28, 2008

Happy... ahhghh... Caturday!

North Carolinians: doing it all wrong

Seriously, WTF? I would've killed for plates like this:

The Division of Motor Vehicles in North Carolina issued 10,000 license plates that began with "WTF" before someone spoiled the fun by complaining.

DMV officials got word of the plates last July when a 60-year-old technology teacher from Fayetteville complained about the plate after her teenage grandchildren clued her in.
Humorless poopers! (Thanks to reader Catherine for the link!)

June 27, 2008

Rethug hypocrisy knows no bounds

Taken from AmericaBlog:

Two of the Republicans' biggest marriage hypocrites - Larry Craig, who was accused of trying to have sex with a man (who was not his wife) in a bathroom, and David Vitter who has been repeatedly accused of frequenting hookers (who also were not his wife) - want to amend the Constitution to "protect" marriage.

Perhaps you all should call Larry Craig's and David Vitter's offices and ask them the following:

Senator Larry Craig
tel: 202-224-2752
Message: Can a married guy give handjobs and blowjobs to other guys in bathrooms and still defend heterosexual marriage?

Senator David Vitter
Phone: (202) 224-4623
Message: How many whores does a married guy have to sleep with before he's no longer defending marriage? And does the price of the whore matter?

Good news, women voters: Saint McInsane no longer punching trollopy cunt

McCain: (chuckling) "I stopped beating my wife just a couple of weeks ago."

In an interview with the Las Vegas Sun, columnist Jon Ralston asked McCain why he didn't choose Gov. Jim Gibbons (in the middle of a messy divorce) to chair his Nevada campaign:
McCain: I appreciate his support. As you know, the lieutenant governor is our chairman.

Q: Why snub the governor?

McCain: I didn't mean to snub him. I've known the lieutenant governor for 15 years and we've been good friends....I didn't intend to snub him. There are other states where the governor is not the chairman.

Q: Maybe it's the governor's approval rating and you are running from him like you are from the president?

McCain: (Chuckling) And I stopped beating my wife just a couple of weeks ago...

What did he even mean by that??

Sing along time!

One of my faves. And now, finally, a translation to what the hell Joe Cocker is saying:

A WTF fashion tip

Guys, under no circumstances, ever ever wear this. Thank you.

A model displays a creation as part of the Alexander McQueen Spring/Summer 2009 men's collection
REUTERS/Alessandro Garofalo (ITALY)
during Milan Fashion Week June 22, 2008.

Doing the people's bizniz

My friends, the Senate's most absent member is working for you!

How often has John McCain been away from the Senate? Well, let's put it this way: At this point, he has missed more votes than even South Dakota Democrat Tim Johnson, who couldn't work for almost a year after suffering a brain hemorrhage in late 2006.

June 26, 2008

Big bad John...

Oooooh, love to love ya baby... rethug Senator John Cornyn's new campaign ad makes it sound like he's auditioning for a gay porn movie --

LOLOL.  Jon Stewart has some fun with it --

(If this doesn't work, it's here.)

Making the pie higher

Bush's Supreme Court has ruled in favor of xenophobic, tiny-dicked mouthbreathers.

Echo... echo... echo...

Where have all our contributors gone? ☹ Are you guys OK? Sick? Tired? Sick and tired? Do we need to put out a call for more? Or just a call for more beer? ☺


A huuuuge thank you and xxxooo to whoever sent the hysterical Our Dumb World by the Onion -- the introduction alone had me giggling like a schoolgirl. But there was no name on the packaging invoice so I don't know who you are.

Karl Rove lashes out at NYT for naming CIA agent

Who says irony is dead? It's like some bizarre twist of 'Opposite Day.' An actual quote from the corpulant antichrist:

“[T]hey’ve got a very callous view about our nation’s security and interests... [T]hey put our country at risk when they reveal the details of a program that saved America from attacks."
Shit on toast. The fucking nerve... Why he didn't instantly get struck by lightning will forever be one of God's little mysteries.

In other irony-related news, Satan's porcine handmaiden is still trying to label Obama as 'arrogant.' Why isn't he in prison yet??

Phenominal progress!

Defeatocrat b HUSSEIN Osama really should go to Iraq to see how remarkably well things are going. The liberal media won't tell us, but I'm sure we've turned another corner somewhere.

  • A suicide bomber detonated himself Thursday inside a municipal government building west of Baghdad, killing 15-20 people -- including Americans -- attending a regional council meeting.

  • A car bomb exploded near the government offices in the northern city of Mosul, killing 18 and wounding at least 60.

  • Four U.S. soldiers died in roadside bombings Tuesday and Wednesday, the U.S. military said, bringing to 10 the number of Americans killed in Iraq since Monday.

  • Oh, and in CommanderGuy McCodpiece's other fiasco, a bomb hit a US-led patrol near the Afghan capital on Thursday, killing three.


    The White House refused to open pollutants e-mail in one case, tried to silence the EPA in another.

    The Bush White House refused to accept the Environmental Protection Agency’s conclusion that greenhouse gases are pollutants that must be controlled, telling agency officials that an e-mail message containing the document would not be opened, the big poopyheads, and they can't make them.
    I am so glad the grownups are in charge...
    White House officials sought to stop the Environmental Protection Agency from submitting a proposed rule that would limit greenhouse-gas emissions from new vehicles, agency sources said Wednesday. And upon learning that EPA had hit the "send" button just minutes earlier, the White House called again to demand that the e-mail be recalled.
    Swell. Its gotten so bad the guys that are supposed to be helping to keep us safe are quitting in disgust:
    A high-ranking political appointee resigned from the Environmental Protection Agency after concluding there was no more progress to be made on greenhouse gases under the Bush misadministration.
    Government for the people... where did I read that again...


    Hypocrisy from republicans? No way!

    Jake Tapper:

    'So since the Republicans have been beating the drum on Obama's alleged presumptuousness and lack of respect for the seal of the President, when's the GOP going to take down its seals for the National Republican Senatorial Committee's Republican Presidential Task Force, Republican Senatorial Inner Circle, and Republican Presidential Roundtable?'
    He's funny. Doesn't he know IOKIYAR?

    June 25, 2008

    Amazing! "Looking like giant leaves floating in the sea thousands of Golden Rays are seen here gathering off the coast of Mexico. The spectacular scene was captured as the magnificent creatures made one of their biannual mass migrations to more agreeable waters." More great pics at link.

    Angry old psycho assaulted wheelchair-bound POW/MIA advocate

    Via Alternate Brain:

    On June 20, 1996, Senator John McCain allegedly assaulted a family member of a Vietnam War prisoner of war (POW) who was missing in action (MIA), as a group of about 15 family members of POW/MIAs watched in astonishment. Within about one month, five ethics complaints had been filed with the Senate Ethics Committee by five eyewitnesses. But the Senate Ethics Committee refused to investigate the matter.

    "He went from a smiling, congenial, happy face to a beet red, totally enraged face in an instant," she said. "I have never seen a senator act in this way. We were all dumbfounded how this happened. He threw his arm up, and she goes flying and Jane [who was in a wheelchair] gets pushed aside as he brushes by her. All I see is people flying and I'm behind him [McCain]... This was assault."
    Holy shit...

    O... M... F... G

    No, really -- here's Preznit Dumbass McSimpleton welcoming Filipino President Gloria Arroyo yesterday:

    "Madam President, it is a pleasure to welcome you back to the Oval Office. We have just had a very constructive dialogue. First, I want to tell you how proud I am to be the President of a nation that -- in which there's a lot of Philippine-Americans. They love America and they love their heritage. And I reminded the President that I am reminded of the great talent of the -- of our Philippine-Americans when I eat dinner at the White House.

    "[T]he chef is a great person and a really good cook, by the way."

    Yeah, he did.

    In other news, the Prime Ministers of Turkey, Greece have canceled their plans to visit the WH.

    Bush 'justice' buddies blow Bush oil buddies

    As if they all weren't hated enough already ... the Bush/Cheney Supreme Court on Wednesday 'overturned the record $2.5 billion in damages that Exxon Mobil had been ordered to pay for the 1989 Exxon Valdez oil spill' disaster off Alaska.

    Poised for a political comeba...

    The popular war preznit has regained his footing... oh, I'm sorry, Mr Broder, make that "public approval of Smirky McGameBoy's job performance fell to a new low in the latest LA Times/Bloomberg Poll."

    In a related story, only 23% of Americans love America. And America's American American doesn't fare much better than the guy he's nothing like. 

    Obama campaign responds to a desperate Rove: 'fuck you, you pathetic loser'

    Senator Obama's communications director Robert Gibbs brushes off Satan's porcine handmaiden on Morning Joe:

    GEIST: I want to ask you, Pat Buchanan coined the term faculty lounge, he's got the patches on his sleeves, smoking a pipe. Karl Rove has a different way of describing it. He says this. At a breakfast with Republican insiders at the Capitol Hill Club this morning, former White House senior aide Karl Rove referred to Barack Obama as quote, "coolly arrogant...Even if you never met him, you know this guy. The guy at the country club with the beautiful date holding a martini and a cigarette, that stands against the wall and makes snide comments about everyone who passes by." That sounds like your candidate?

    GIBBS: I would be willing to bet you that Karl Rove hung out in the lounge of a country club a lot more often than Barack Obama has. I would think a guy who came to Washington eight years ago and talked about how his version of the Republican party would take over the country for years and years to come, might have cornered the market on arrogance to a degree that not many people have seen before. His president right now, his approval ratings hover somewhere around the national drinking age. I think if people look at the arc of the Bush presidency and where this thing has ended up, we have had a disastrous foreign policy, our economy is in shambles, our debt and our deficit have skyrocketed. It's really hard to list one or two things that Karl Rove did right over eight years. So, you know, I'll let him do his lecture circuits and coin little phrases, but, it seems like a silly thing.

    BRZEZINSKI: Touche.

    GEIST: So for the record, Barack Obama does not hold martinis or stand against walls. Is that what you are saying?

    BRZEZINSKI: Making snide comments.

    GIBBS: The last time I saw him, he was drinking a beer. Fuckwipe.

    OK, the last bit was mine. Meanwhile, the pudgy, sweaty Rove, who was probably bullied as a child for being such a pudgy, sweaty, obnoxious twerp, only wishes he could be one of those tall, cool, thin suave guys instead of the disgusting bloater he is, a vast bag of phlegm desperately picking the stained seat of his fraying undies out of his itching, rashy asscrack.
    Video here. Of Robert Gibbs, not Karl's panty-pulling.

    Makin' signiftude progress!

    Defeatocrat b HUSSEIN Osama really should go to Iraq to see how well things are going. I mean, you'll never hear about all the progritude from the liberal media --

    A roadside bomb killed three U.S. soldiers and an interpreter in a region of northern Iraq where U.S. and Iraqi forces are battling al Qaeda, the U.S. military said on Wednesday.
    A total of seven Americans have been killed by bombs in last 2 days.

    June 24, 2008

    This is hysterical: after the creationist winguts at Conservapedia doubt a professor's evolutionary biology research, they demand to see his data. He responds with some beautiful pwnage --

    I know that I’ve been a bit less polite in this response than in my previous one, but I’m still behaving far more politely than you deserve given your rude, willfully ignorant, and slanderous behavior. And I’ve spent far more time responding than you deserve. However, as I said at the outset, I take education seriously, and I know some of your acolytes still have the ability and desire to think, as do many others who will read this exchange...

    -- the whole thing here (h/p to fark.com).


    Fooking Dems...

    Congress goes to court and asks the judge to enforce subpoenas against former White House counsel Harriet Miers and Chief of Staff Josh Bolten.... and the judge asks "Why are you in court? Why don't you just arrest them?"

    Sewage treatment officials pissed over comparisons to shithead

    San Francisco utility officials are mad about the ballot measure to rename a sewage treatment facility after George Dumbyuh Bush. Not because they're conservatives, but because the facility does its job well.

    Honor and integ...

    Saint "McCain's national campaign co-chairman, former DHS Secretary Tom Ridge, sorta kinda forgot to register as a foreign lobbyist for Albania," TPM reports.

    Oh, and speaking of McCain lobbyists...

    Fla. repuke defends plagiarized speech

    Gee. Another day, another rethug doing something sleazy.

    A Republican congressman has sort of apologized for posting a speech on his website without acknowledging that most of it was written by someone else.

    Rep. Jeff Miller, R-Naturally., says he did nothing wrong in delivering the heavily borrowed address -- which fellow Republican Sen. John Isakson wrote for his son's high school graduation and has delivered more than 100 times since.
    Honor and accountability!

    Justice Dept. hiring marred by politics: probe

    From the Duh! Institute and NoShit Daily:

    George W. Bush's Justice Department improperly injected politics into hiring programs, a department investigation released on Tuesday found.
    Let's see that again:
    Justice Department officials over the last six years illegally used “political or ideological” factors to hire new lawyers.
    The Justice Department. The fucking JUSTICE Department. Honor and integrity.

    Feh, never mind that: 'former President Bill Clinton offered a faint voice of support for Barack Obama' -- through a spokesman. ZOMFG!!! The Dems are in dissarray!!11!!eleventybillion1!!!

    Rethug propaganda machine covers UP the news

    They're not even pretending to pretend that they're a news organization anymore. The Fox Nutwork erased America's American American saying he "really didn’t love America." From Fox Attacks:

    Jedreport.com discovered that the transcript of the McCain/Hannity interview on FoxNews.com had no mention of McCain saying he “really didn’t love America” until he was a POW. I checked and sure enough, it wasn’t there. So I started watching the video of the interview of FoxNews.com — it wasn’t there either...

    We’ve really got them on this one. How on earth can Fox explain why they have censored their own website? Can there be any other reason than that they are trying to protect McCain from his own words? Is this in any way consistent with a channel that claims to be a “fair and balanced” news organization?

    Maybe you should ask Fox for yourself. Contact them here:

    worldsbiggestrectum hannity@foxnews.com

    Pucker up!

    A couple of quivering mouthbreathers at fullfrontalfellatio.org can barely contain themselves as they discuss Saint McSame --

    John McCain may be the underdog in the presidential race but you wouldn’t know it from his campaign’s bold stance on energy policy.
    Oooohh, lip-prints! Bold, greasy lip-prints!
    Last week, McCain [-- who lives in landlocked Arizona --] pledged to end flipflopped on ending the 1982 moratorium on offshore gas and oil drilling in the continental United States.
    There, fixed it for you. Next week, he'll pledge to send a man to Uranus to drill for oil, just as long as its not psycho aide Charlie "boom boom" Black.
    This week, he proposed offering $300 million [of his wealthy wife's beer money!] to any individual that can develop a better car battery.
    Well this week I'm proposing offering a brazillion to anyone who can develop a flying car that runs on your mom. Fuckwits.

    Smug jackhole screws thousands of fliers

    Nearly 40,000 travelers will remember US King George the Insipid's vanity trip to London. Their flights were canceled or delayed at Heathrow Airport to accommodate him, according to British Airways, who is still getting angry calls in the middle of the night insulting their mum.

    "The decision to allow that egotistical cowboy and his fleet of aircraft to fly into Heathrow rather than a military base was one all of Heathrow's users could have done without," British Airways' chief executive said, dropping his monocle. "I am very angry that this was allowed."
    Yeah. We feel your pain.


    Another reason I'm glad I won't be going

    As if cameras in your hotel room weren't bad enough --

    "China has bolstered its Olympic security effort by deploying a battery of surface-to-air missile launchers a kilometer south of the venues for the Beijing Games."

    Makin' signiftude progress!

    Defeatocrat b HUSSEIN Osama really should go to Iraq to see how well things are going. I mean, you'll never hear about all the progritude from the liberal media -- 2 US soldiers, two civilian U.S. Embassy employees and at least 6 Iraqis have been killed in an explosion at a council meeting in Baghdad today that was 'meant to target US troops.'

    Update from yesterday's attack: Two U.S. soldiers were killed and three were wounded when a council member opened fire on them after a meeting in a small town south of Baghdad, the U.S. military said.

    Above: 2 utter nimrods putting our troops at risk.

    June 23, 2008

    Rudy "9/11" Giuliani pic seen at DU.
    After a weekend of dodging thunderstorms and of general ennui, we're back. Still dodging thunderstorms. Still ennuied.

    I'm So Dizzy.......

    My Head is Spinnin'
    Is it possible that the American people are so stupid and easily manipulated that they would fall for this steaming pile of Rovian Bullshit?

    ABC News’ Christianne Klein reports that at a breakfast with Republican insiders at the Capitol Hill Club this morning, former White House senior aide Karl Rove referred to Sen. Barack Obama, D-Illinois, as “coolly arrogant.”
    “Even if you never met him, you know this guy,” Rove said, per Christianne Klein. “He’s the guy at the country club with the beautiful date, holding a martini and a cigarette that stands against the wall and makes snide comments about everyone who passes by.”
    Fun Fact: Due to the color of his skin, Osama Obama “wouldn’t be admitted into any country clubs that members of the Capitol Hill Club frequent.”
    Oh, yeah, the guy who worked as a community organizer, university lecturer in Constitutional law, State Senator, who just paid off his student loans, an elitist, unlike the Straight-talkin Maverick™.

    Nice try, Smegmabreath.


    George Carlin dead of heart failure at 71.

    Repub "family values" candidate paid for lover's abortion

    An Oregon woman who dated "pro-life" Republican congressional candidate Mike Erickson said he paid for her abortion 'after indicating to her he didn't want a child.'