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By popular demand
Two congressional idiots on irrelevant committee walk out during the pResident's meaningless, unhelpful testimony citing prior, unimportant engagements.

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Whatever it takes
If only Osama Bin Laden smoked Cuban cigars - than maybe the Treasury Department would make more of an effort to track Al Qaida's finances.

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Supporting the troops
It's bad enough that over 700 are dead. What's worse is that the Pentagon's No. 2 man forgot about 222 of them.

Gee, maybe having some kind of memorial program on TV would refresh his memory...

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The inanity of the press corpse
George Bush can’t answer questions about 9/11. But John Kerry doesn’t make his own sandwiches! The Daily Howler nails the vacuous, pampered assclowns that are the mainstream media.

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The Fallen
Fallout on the BFEE Sinclair Broadcasting/Nightline controversy:

"The Nightline broadcast is an expression of respect which simply seeks to honor those who have laid down their lives for this country."

'Some of the stations have received many calls and e-mails in response to Sinclair's decision. "I have not gotten one positive response," said an assignment desk editor at WSYX, the ABC station in Columbus, Ohio.'

Update: John McCain has issued a letter today to the president and CEO of Sinclair Broadcasting, protesting their decision to preempt the program: "I find deeply offensive Sinclair's objection to Nightline's intention to broadcast the names and photographs of Americans who gave their lives in service to our country in Iraq..."

Cheney staff accused of role in CIA leak
Well duh. We knew that. What we still don't know is the name.

Tricky Dick Cheney 'was aware of a meeting held by his staff that started a chain of events that ended with the "effective betrayal of our country," former US diplomat Joseph Wilson charged Thursday. Wilson did not accuse Cheney of leaking his wife's identity or of knowing about the leak before it was made. But he said Cheney had to have known that his staff was investigating Wilson in a probe that led to the discovery of his wife's job.'

"Just because he watches Fox News doesn't mean he's completely stupid," Wilson should have said.

Cheney's chief of staff, Scooter Libby, has been named Most Likely to Traitorously Leak the Name of a CIA Agent, along with indicted Iran-Contra criminal and top NSC guy Elliott Abrams and lying, putty-assed svengali Karl Rove.

"The workup on me that turned up the information on Valerie was shared with Karl Rove, who then circulated it in administration and neoconservative circles," Wilson writes.




Jebus
It would be funny if it wasn't so #ucking sad -

"It's easy to complain about the press - I've been doing it for a good part of my career. It's part of what goes with a free society. What I do is try to focus upon those elements of the press that I think do an effective job and try to be accurate in their portrayal of events. For example, I end up spending a lot of time watching Fox News, because they're more accurate in my experience, in those events that I'm personally involved in, than many of the other outlets." - Dick 'dick' Cheney.

And it's like getting a continual blowjob!


"Stroke me, stroke me..."

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Heh
"The issue of Kerry's military service has spawned a number of recent news-like events which have led to Republican charges the decorated war hero has something to hide. Because if there is one thing the Bush administration will not tolerate, it is ... other people's secrecy."

"GOP strategists hope the revelation of Kerry's wealth might debunk his status as a, quote, man of the people, and reveal him to be a bit of a fat cat. Unlike the President who - as we all know - before attending Andover and Yale, was a Cockney matchstick girl dying of tuberculosis." - Jon Stewart.

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And another thing...
'Speaking with reporters in the Rose Garden, Bush declined to say what topics the commission focused on during a meeting that lasted over three hours. But he did say the session was cordial:

'"I'm glad I did it. I'm glad I took the time...I enjoyed it."'

Yeah, of course he did, he had Dick's hand up his ass the whole time. I mean for God's sake, what kind of numb putz enjoys testifying before a committee to investigate one of the worst, most tragic fuckups of all time???

Gah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why do they hate America?
Sinclair Broadcasting has ordered its affiliates NOT to run Nightline's tribute to the fallen US troops, saying the move is politically motivated.

'"Despite the denials by a spokeswoman for the show, the action appears to be motivated by a political agenda designed to undermine the efforts of the United States in Iraq,'' the company said in a faxed statement. Sinclair, which owns 62 U.S. television stations, said ABC is disguising political statements as news content.'

Fun fact: 'TV Barn's Mark Jeffries calls Sinclair the "Clear Channel of local news," a reference to the San Antonio, Texas, media giant that has grown from 40 to more than 1,200 stations today thanks to the 1996 Telecommunications Act, which relaxed radio ownership rules. But the parallels extend beyond their growth strategies. Jeffries describes Sinclair as having a "fiercely right-wing approach that makes Fox News Channel look like a model of objectivity," while Clear Channel is best known for sponsoring pro-war "Rallies for America" during the Iraq conflict. And like Clear Channel's CEO L. Lowry Mays – a major Republican donor and onetime business associate of George W. Bush – the Sinclair family, board, and executives ply the GOP with big money. Since 1997, they have donated well over $200,000 to Republican candidates.

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Dick and his amazing meatpuppet
....spent more than three hours with the 9/11 panel, an' I "answered every question"! Bunnypants told CNN.

Bush said it was important for he and Cheney to appear together so that commission members could "see our body language... how we work together." You know, so the panel could see with their own eyes that Cheney's hand wasn't lubed up to the elbow.

Bush brushed off a question from a reporter on whether 9/11 families were entitled to a transcript of the session.

"You asked me that question yesterday," Bush replied. "I got the same answer."

Ummmmm, it's no.

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Bush & Cheney before the 9/11 commission
mellowinman from the BC forum obtained a portion of the transcript:

Ben Veniste: Mr. Bush...

Bush: Who you talkin' to?

Ben Veniste: Ah, I'm sorry, Mr. President, why did the chicken cross the road?

Bush: To find the evildoer.

Ben Veniste: And where did he find the evildoer?

Bush: On the other side of the road?

Ben Veniste: Which road?

Cheney: The chicken in question was crossing the Al-Adoobidoobidoo highway, South of Baghdad, where a number of Al Qaeda were meeting with the Republican Guard to create Weapons of Mass Destruction.

Bush: Them Republican Guards is our guys.

Cheney: Shut up! Shut UP!

Ben Veniste: Is that true? Saddam's personal bodyguards and elite fighting force worked for the United States Government?

Cheney: Don't be ridiculous. Sometimes George...

Bush: Ah, that's "Mr. President..."

Cheney: Sometimes Mr. President has trouble distinguishing the different types of Republicans.

Ben Veniste: Well, what are the different types of Republicans?

Bush: You didn't say, "Mr. President..."

Ben Veniste: I was asking Mr. Cheney.

Cheney: That's "Mr. Vice President."

Ben Veniste: No it isn't. Now, what are the different types of Republicans?

Bush: I know this one!

Cheney: Shut up!

Bush: You didn't say...

Cheney: Shut UP Mr. President! There are over thirty five seperate types of Republicans, but the main sub groups are the Halliburton, the Enron, and the TV Newsmen. The TV Newsmen have been carefully trained, and used to be called the Democrats, back in the 19th Century. The Enrons are the Campaign donors, but that doesn't mean all the campaign donors are Enrons. Saddam's Republicans were actually enemy forces, until we got rid of Saddam, and now they work for us. Any fool can see...

Bush: I can't see...

Cheney: I said, any fool can see that we need the most elite of the elite Republicans to guard the oil, and that's why...

Bush: THAT'S why they're called the Republican Guard!

Ben Veniste: Now, I think you two are fillibustering...

Bush: No we're not. We're just trying to use up our time. Is an hour up already?

Ben Veniste: No. You've only been before the panel for five minutes.

Bush: You didn't call me "Mr. President."

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PSM
Senator Lautenberg's Illustrated Guide to Chickenhawks is now on video!

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From the questionable to the ridiculous

The strangest of the president's conditions is that he will testify only in concert with Vice President Dick Cheney. The White House has given no sensible reason for why Mr. Bush is unwilling to appear alone.

Given the White House's concern for portraying Mr. Bush as a strong leader, it's remarkable that this critical appearance is being structured in a way that is certain to provide fodder for late-night comedians, who enjoy depicting him as the docile puppet of his vice president. ....

If Mr. Bush or any of his successors have the tragic misfortune to be in command at a time when terrorists strike the country, killing thousands of innocent civilians, they should be expected to cooperate with the official investigations, and to do so in a way that puts their statements on the record and into history.

- from an opinion piece in the NY Times.

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"Quack quack"*
Duck hunting trip pays off for Tricky Dick Cheney.

'Supreme' Court 'justices' appeared to take the Dick in the case regarding Cheney's secret energy task force, whose members may have included 'oil industry lobbyists and prominent corporate executives' such as the BFEE and Enron's Kenny-boy Lay.

"I think executive privilege means whenever the president feels that he is threatened, he can simply refuse to comply with a court order," Bush crony Fat Tony Scalia said.

The official 'decision' in the case is expected by late June.

*Scalia, 2/10/04, responding to critics of his hunting date with Dick.

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Nixon's ethical heirs
'When Kerry was fighting in Vietnam, and then fighting to change a disastrous policy at home, Bush had become the invisible man to his fellow aviators in the National Guard; Dick Cheney had, by his own admission, "other priorities" than the war and picked up four {Actually five} separate draft deferments, and junior exterminator Tom DeLay was risking life and limb in a daily battle against termites.' - Harold Meyerson.

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Democrats to Kerry: Jebus, stop being such a #ucking pussy
"Bring it on; that’s the John Kerry we want to see.”

Then they show him how it's done:

“I think it was worse than McCarthy[ism]. McCarthy was mentally ill. This guy [Cheney] is sane, but the smirk on his face really bothered me.” - Rep. Bob Matsui.

“As far as we know, Senator Kerry got three Purple Hearts for risking his life in Vietnam, and pResident Bush got a dental examination in Alabama.” - House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi.

"When those who didn't serve attack the heroism of those who did, I find it particularly offensive. We know who the chicken hawks are. They talk tough on national defense and military issues and cast aspersions on others. When it was their turn to serve where were they? AWOL, that's where they were...The lead chickenhawk against Sen. Kerry [is] the vice president of the United States, Vice President Cheney. He was in Missouri this week claiming that Sen. Kerry was not up to the job of protecting this nation. What nerve. Where was Dick Cheney when that war was going on?" - Sen. Frank Lautenberg, from the Senate floor yesterday.

Max Cleland lets WH whore Wolf Blitzer have it with both barrels:

Wolf: Your friend, Senator McCain, a Republican, also a Vietnam veteran, says you know what? Let's have a cease-fire on this whole debate. It's ugly. It's history. What the president did during his service in the Texas Air National Guard, what the Democratic candidate did after he returned from Vietnam, let's move on. Is that sound advice from Senator McCain?

Former Senator Max Cleland: I think it's sound advice. And like I say, he ought to know because they came after him first. They came after me secondly and they are going after John Kerry third. This is ridiculous.

We ought to be talking about just like John McCain said, the kids that are dying in Iraq. Are they dying from weapons of mass destruction? No. There are none there. Are they dying for a nuclear weapons program that Dick Cheney said a couple of years ago were there? No. Are they dying for connections with al Qaeda and Osama bin Laden? No.

What are they dying for, oil? I don't know. We have got 730, 740 kids out there dead now and about 3,600 wounded and 13,000 evacuated from the theater and more killed today. Now, the question is, why? Now, this president did not go to Vietnam. He didn't learn the lesson that, in this country, you take this country to war only when you have to, as John Kerry says, not when you want to. And finally you go to war with your allies so there's somebody to help you pick up the pieces afterwards.

Wolf: But are you now bringing up the president's decision not to volunteer to go serve in Vietnam as an issue that should be front and center in this campaign?

Senator Cleland: Absolutely. If you going to be commander and chief and you are going to start a war and you are going to start a war on false pretenses with false evidence, you are accountable.

Operation Fubar: making progress

Car bomb kills eight US troops south of Baghdad.

Total killed so far today: 10.

More US troops killed in April than in "major combat" in Iraq

722

US rushes armor to Iraq, Fallujah siege rumbles on

Didn't Bush say we had to go to war to stop Saddam from doing things like this? US Army torturing Iraqi prisoners

War crimes in Fallujah "on a scale unprecedented for this war"

Bush's approval rating at all-time low

Poll: Iraqis split over whether Iraq is better off

US support for Iraq war is waning

Congress prepares for new Iraq spending

Former Saddam Hussein loyalists will now fight current Saddam Hussein loyalists

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Bonzo goes to college
Supporters have begun raising money for the Ronald Reagan University, to be built in Colorado. Officials plan to admit only applicants with SAT scores of 1400 or above, which, ironically, will shut out most conservatives.

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Bite me
US intelligence and law enforcement officials might be starting to track blogs.

Former US intelligence officer Robert Steele said "absolutely" that blogs are valid sources of intelligence and news, though he said authenticating the information in blogs "leaves a lot to be desired."

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Middle-finger news
From CNN: Ted Koppel will devote the entire half-hour of Nightline Friday to reading names and showing photographs of the more than 500 US servicemen and women killed in action in Iraq, ABC announced Wednesday. ABC News will simulcast the program live on its Jumbotron screen in Times Square, and ABC News Radio will air excerpts, the network said.

An Iranian court has ruled the United States should pay $600 million in compensation for supplying ousted Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein with chemical weapons.

Thanks to Atrios, we find out that Karen Hughes is French.