'm pretty sure this is one of the signs of the Apocalypse
Duct tape plant explodes, 1 killed.
March 31, 2005
'm pretty sure this is one of the signs of the Apocalypse
Posted by maru at 3/31/2005 03:20:00 PM
ust STFU already
House Majority Leader/scumbag Tom DeLay, unfortunately not from prison, today commented on Terri Schiavo's death:
"[It] is a moral poverty and a legal tragedy. This loss happened because our legal system did not protect the people who need protection most, and that will change. The time will come for the men responsible for this to answer for their behavior, but not today."Coincidently, Mr DeLay intends to use this same statement in response to the next editorial listing his many ethical crises.
ore assholes in the news
"You fucked up! You trusted us!"
Posted by maru at 3/31/2005 03:06:00 PM
he line that sent mAnn Coulter even more insane
PeteH at the Bartcop Forum reports:
'Drudge is reporting that clinically insane whack-job Ann Coulter was interrupted by hecklers during a speaking engagement at KU. But little Mattie is not telling us the whole story. My best friend's daughter is a sophomore at Kansas. She called her dad after the event and he immediately phoned me. Apparently what sent Coulter into a full-bore, spittle-flecked, incoherent rage was being asked, "So, Annie, what's actually larger, your Adam's apple or your dick?" My wife and kids slept through the ringing phone, but my ensuing laughter woke the entire house.'LOL.
The discharge known as "Ms" Coulter.
Posted by maru at 3/31/2005 12:27:00 PM
In our new feature, we try to keep tabs on just what the hell Monkey McMoron is up to. Details are sketchy, as his handlers really don't want anyone close to the Snivelling Fuckwit other than their handpicked and brainwashed stooges.
Today, Little Lord Bunnypants is somewhere in the Midwest, continuing his Bamboozlepalooza tour as soon as he gets woken up, fed and burped.
Yesterday he tortured the poor taxpayers of Cedar Rapids, Iowa:
"[I]n America, we understand freedom and we know freedom is not our gift to the world; freedom is the Almighty God's gift to each man and woman in this world. And flying in, I saw a lot of people on tractors. It's a good sign. But it reminded me about what is possible when it comes to reasonable energy policy."Sorry, I sort of lost it after that.
Fun fact: Joining him for his townhall propaganda meetings is the pathetic, de-balled sellout John 'vagina' McCain, who has been thrust in the role of "playing the heavy for the president, sharply accusing Democrats of being obstructionist and shortsighted," according to CBS News.
Fun fact 2: Though Bush "insists he is making headway on the issue, the lingering skittishness among congressional Republicans — and outright opposition from most Democrats — indicates otherwise."
Fun fact 3: The Boy King may use executive order to enact his private accounts idea.
Fun fact 4: The WMD commission's final report has been released. Will the Goober actually take any questions regarding it, or will he "have to go to lunch"?
Posted by maru at 3/31/2005 11:09:00 AM
onservative judge blasts Bush, Congress for role in Schiavo case
One of "the most conservative jurists on the federal bench" delivered a well-deserved cockpunch to Congress and Preznit Droolrag, in the form of a "stinging rebuke ."
"This is a judge who, through a political or policy lens, falls pretty squarely in the Scalia/Thomas camp," said law professor and constitutional expert David Garrow. "I think it's a sad commentary that there wasn't a voice like his present in the Congress, because he's saying what a Republican constitutional conservative should be saying."
... If they weren't such posturing, chickenshit scrotebags!
A White House spokestool declined to address Birch's decision directly, saying the craven, vacuous meatpuppet in the WH is "saddened by this extraordinary case and continues to support all those who stand up to defend life." Unless that life belongs to a little black baby in Texas.
Posted by maru at 3/31/2005 10:53:00 AM
Signs of Spring
This just in:
Terri Schiavo has passed away.
Posted by maru at 3/31/2005 10:25:00 AM
March 30, 2005
[The rev Jerry] Falwell, who hasn't told the truth in the last 40 years, was admitted to Lynchburg General Hospital shortly before midnight Monday suffering from "respiratory arrest," the hospital said in a statement.- Bartcop.
Falwell's breathing is complicated by the fact that his head is so far up his lying, in-it-for-the-money ass.
Bonus quotes - from the man o' God himself:
Posted by maru at 3/30/2005 03:09:00 PM
From the why do these people still have jobs? department
Posted by maru at 3/30/2005 12:31:00 PM
Bunnypants sends Mommy-Laura out to defend Schiavo fiasco
Government was right to have intervened, chirps insipid humanoid.
"I just feel like the federal government has to be involved," Pickles Stepford said to the
stenog press. "It is a life issue that really does require government to be involved."
Ironically, her comments on the Schiavo case were made aboard a plane bound for Afghanistan, where she was to promote education and women's rights.
Posted by maru at 3/30/2005 12:14:00 PM
Dammit. Blogger's busted again. We'll be going back and forth to the emergency back-up blog. Sorry for the inconvenience.
et freedom reign
Supportin' freedom an' democracy
Why does George W Bush hate America?
Local residents blacklisted, ejected from
Soviet Bush Bamboozlepalooza tour official taxpayer-funded "private event" town hall meeting.
God bless America.
Posted by maru at 3/30/2005 10:49:00 AM
March 29, 2005
The vast left-wing conspiracy
Hey, look - some flying pigs being trained by Elvis!
You know he's gone totally batshit when Tinfoil Tom turns to Hillary Clinton for inspiration.
Posted by maru at 3/29/2005 11:00:00 AM
Dammit - I can't get that 'tender crisp bacon cheddar ranch' song out of my head.
With their 15 minutes just about up and their daughter almost dead, the Schindlers start cashing in.
Pamela Hennessy, an unpaid spokeswoman for the Schindlers, said she was initially appalled when she learned of the list's existence.
"It is possibly the most distasteful thing I have ever seen," Ms. Hennessy said. "Everybody is making a buck off of her."
Posted by maru at 3/29/2005 10:08:00 AM
March 28, 2005
After spending all day yesterday with my family, all I want to do is curl up with a murder mystery, my cats, and a cigar. Then take a nap.
Posted by maru at 3/28/2005 11:39:00 AM
Update: I guess by now you've all heard how one of those godless, barbaric, death-loving liberals... whoa, what??? Well, well: 'culture-of-life' dickhead and all-around slimy hypocrite Tom DeLay agreed to pull the plug on his father.
"There was no point to even really talking about it," recalled Maxine DeLay, the congressman's 81-year-old mother. "There was no way he wanted to live like that."
Huh. Boy, THAT sounds familiar...
Posted by maru at 3/28/2005 11:10:00 AM
March 26, 2005
From the "Oh, come on - they can't be serious" department: protest signs for Terri Schiavo supporters that are so stupidly hilarious they could only have come from RimJob's fretards -
WHERE'S HILLARY IN THIS?
REMEMBER THE NUREMBURG TRIALS
WHERE's KERRY'S VOICE??
EVEN PLANTS NEED WATER
Give Terrie Food, Water...and a DIVORCE.
Posted by maru at 3/26/2005 09:38:00 AM
- from a letter to Tom DeLay from Gen. JC Christian, patriot.
Posted by maru at 3/26/2005 09:13:00 AM
ethugs grumbling about leaders' Schiavo stand
It should have been a rightwinger’s wetdream. A chance to unite “moral values” voters and get them up in arms, like angry townspeople armed with rakes and pitchforks storming the castle of the godless prevert gay-hugging leftist commie elite and destroying them once and for all.
Then real life got in the way, and as is its wont, took a dump all over them.
Posted by maru at 3/26/2005 08:43:00 AM
Posted by maru at 3/26/2005 08:41:00 AM
Posted by maru at 3/26/2005 08:12:00 AM
March 25, 2005
riday pet blogging
It's not easy staying home all day, sleeping.
Posted by maru at 3/25/2005 03:22:00 PM
"Spain arrests Basque separatists, preventing them from rescuing Terri Schiavo."
- headline at Fark.
Posted by maru at 3/25/2005 03:18:00 PM
ush Limbaugh, America's Junkie: hatefilled, zonked-out nutcase
Sounds like the drugs talking. Asshat.
Yeah, that's it, Rush: godless liberals want her to die, just so people like you will look bad and maybe STFU.
Fun fact: yes, he did get a dig in at his own personal obsession, Bill Clinton.
Mr Limbaugh, seen here talking out of his ass.
Posted by maru at 3/25/2005 03:14:00 PM
om DeLay, egotistical nutcase
This guy is just plain scary. There are so many things wrong with this I just don't know where to start:
Posted by maru at 3/25/2005 03:07:00 PM
ulture of life, stupidity
Michael W. Mitchell of Asshat, Ill. walked into a gun shop in Seminole, Florida Thursday with a box cutter and tried to steal a gun so he could "take some action and rescue Terri Schiavo."
Is everyone with that middle initial a moron?
Posted by maru at 3/25/2005 02:55:00 PM
"Octopus walks on two legs to avoid predators, proving that even sea-life is smarter than our President."
- headline at Fark.
Yet, like Smirky Shitforbrains at a press conference, octopuses try to avoid predators by sneaking away while pretending to be a bunch of algae.
Posted by maru at 3/25/2005 02:53:00 PM
ush criticized for silence, hypocrisy
Non-response to school shooting contrasted with the Simian Sockpuppet's intervention in the
white woman Schiavo case
BTW, Blogger sucks.
Posted by maru at 3/25/2005 02:38:00 PM
March 24, 2005
unnypants disses member of the Coalition ***
Posted by maru at 3/24/2005 06:07:00 PM
re you threatening me?
Emperor Snippy, with disgraced, cowed pussy John McCain at his side, warned Dems they 'will suffer political consequences' if they continue to oppose his plan for creating private SS accounts - even though the misadministration has admitted that the accounts would do nothing but add trillions to the national debt.
Posted by maru at 3/24/2005 02:20:00 PM
GOP scrubs lists of fundraising events as heat grows on Tom DeLay
The party of accountability covers up evidence in growing scandal.
The light gets flicked on and all the cockroaches scurry for cover.
- comment by Pedro
Raw Story reports: 'As attention grows on campaign fundraising and the relationship between top Republicans and a lobbyist under multiple federal investigations, the Republican National Congressional Committee has erased all online records of fundraising events for the last three years.'
Posted by maru at 3/24/2005 12:53:00 PM
Political fallout over Schiavo law
It's not over -
An overwhelming 82 percent of the public believes the Congress and President should stay out of the matter. Just 13 percent of those polled think Congress intervened in the case out of concern for Schiavo, while 74 percent think it was all about politics.
Public approval of Congress has suffered as a result; at 34 percent, it is the lowest it has been since 1997, dropping from 41 percent last month. Now at 43 percent, President Bush’s approval rating is also lower than it was a month ago.
House Majority Leader and ethically-challenged snake Tom DeLay told the Family Research Council that the Schiavo case was sent by heaven. He also described the Schiavo showdown as personal.
"This is exactly the issue that's going on in America, the attacks against the conservative movement, against me and against many others."
What a #ucking tool. Yeah, everything's about you, Tom, you pathetic scumbag.
The House Majority Leader.
Even WH mouthpiece The Wall Street Journal's poll shows that 63% of their readers think that the repukes' role in the Schiavo case will negatively affect the party.
The evangelicals aren't too happy either.
Posted by maru at 3/24/2005 12:42:00 PM
National tragedy: Congress plays the Schiavo case for political gain
"The passion play staged on Capitol Hill in the Terri Schiavo case was the Republican Congress at its opportunistic worst."
All that one needs to know about why the Republicans enacted a special law... [t]he one-page message circulated to Republican senators by party leaders [calling] the Schiavo debate "a great political issue" to exploit against the Democrats.
- from a Pittsburgh Post-Gazette editorial.
Senator/douchebag Dr. Bill Frist, seen here hawking HIV-preventative anti-sweat pills.
Posted by maru at 3/24/2005 12:36:00 PM