HELL in the mirror

So, see the li'l bear over there on the right side top of this page? That's pretty much me. Except I'm not white, I'm blonde, and I'm bustier, and I wear make up, and..........well it's not really me at all, EXCEPT FOR THE DRINKY POO.

I lub my Martinooos, and I DO carry his "tude" frequently.

But NOTE HOW HE'S NOT SMOKING????
That's me too.
I quit a week ago.
HOLY FLIPPIN' CAKES ON A SPOON!!! WHAT a MAMMOTH pain in the ASS THAT IS!!! to just QUIT smoking. wow.
it's like being at total war with your body. it's like the worst emotional pain you ever went through ever, and it NEVER goes away. Except that it does go away, but when you are in the "trenches", it's like FOREVER HELL.
And the reason i bring that up is this, (thanks for hangin')......
EVERY STINKIN' TIME i SEE Dick "dick" Chainey (i KNOW how to spell his evil name, sign of the cross and whispered prayers) i want to go SMOKE SOMETHING that makes tobacco or wacky weed seem like FRESH AIR!!!! what's that stuff, oh yeah!, GUN POWDER!!!
i dunno what, but i want to PUT SOMETHING IN MY MOUTH, AND LIGHT IT ON FIRE.
AND DRINK MORE, AND HIRE RESTRAINING PEOPLE,
cause the non violent in me just LEAVES THE BUILDING.
WTF is that asshat doing on the air, and esp. during the week after I QUIT SMOKING?????!
And he needs to take "baby dick" with him (Liz, doncha know) and get the fuck outa my country, cause his chit is NOT what my dad fought for in WWII. He's a affront to all I was raised with re being an American and a human being and a Godly, loving soul. HE'S ANTI ALL OF THAT!!
and what does the great press of this country do????
GIVE THE UNHOLY FUCK AIR TIME.
jebus,
I'm gettin another martooniii, how bout you?
What part of
"Chainey's owned the President's wife's family once in history" does Obi NOT GET????
Dude is just evil and needs to go to his maker already.

He sure is good for my local liquid store owner, tho. Dude prolly smokes a cigar every time Chainey rears his blasphemous head cause he's lookin' at a certain return of my sweet arse through is door again!
chit.

500 Days

of Sanford.
This is a funny assed vid.
Who couldn't use some funny on Monday morning?!

Newest edition of "Tales of the 28er's" dURRRRRR!!!!

On a level of stupid that I cannot possibly begin to grasp because I don't do fractal formula calculations in nuclear deciphre-code from other outer planets yet to be discovered,
2 people completely over rode their own basic basest instinct to GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE and chose, CHOSE MIND YOU, to attempt to ride out a California wildfire by hiding out in their OUTSIDE BACK YARD HOT TUB.

YES, the incident involved air vacs and rescue workers, 3rd degree owies and critical conditions, and will likely soon be made into an action adventure comic book or some such utter incomprehensible nonsense, SOME fool will get a hold of it.......(you know how California is.....)

Can ya just imagine being a parent, or some other family member of these people? I'd be begging anyone for witness protection embarrassment relocation programs to ANYFRIGGINWHERE, really, ANYWHERE!

The story's here, and requires the ability to completely suspend your studpiometer in order to read through it. You KNOW some form of the alcohol ho had to have been involved in this sun sized turd of a decision/choice!!! Speaking of which, I have to go get drunk now.

JEBUS!!!

what an honor this is. Much grass to Maru for letting me play here. it's like....................it's like...........
it's totally like the first time ya get to sit on the phone books at the big people's table!!!
Thanks for the invite Maru.
This is just my favorite blog and you and it rocks like NO OTHAAA!

Happy Caturday!

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Fair and balanced

Not news: Chris Wallace talks about President Obama's "Assisted Suicide Death Book" on Fux.

News to anyone watching the Fox Nutwork: The object in question is actually a guidebook on living wills written during the Bush misadministration.

Jed Lewison:

”There's nothing surprising about the Fox propaganda machine peddling outrageous lies, but Chris Wallace's fabrication is one of the most despicable, reprehensible falsehoods Fox has ever put on air. It's bad enough that Wallace lied through his teeth, but the fact that he chose to exploit our nation's veterans for his dirty political game tells us everything we need to know about his integrity -- or lack thereof.”

Indeed.

Godspeed, Teddy

Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, the liberal lion of the Senate and haunted bearer of the Camelot torch after two of his brothers fell to assassins' bullets, has died at his home in Hyannis Port after battling a brain tumor. He was 77. For nearly a half-century in the Senate, Kennedy was a steadfast champion of the working class and the poor, a powerful voice on health care, civil rights, and war and peace.

“An important chapter in our history has come to an end. Our country has lost a great leader, who picked up the torch of his fallen brothers and became the greatest United States Senator of our time.” -- President Obama, 8/26/09.

Yeah, its all about YOU, wHoreward

The WaComPoo’s resident uberdouche and “media reporter” wHoward Kurtz douchebaggily reports on himself and one of his douchier columns. I’m not giving der Douchemeister a link, but it’s from yesterday’s column by the douchebag, entitled “Unpopularity Contest.”

Douche.

'Writing is on the wall,' allies alert adulterous asshat

Fiscal conservatard and family-values watchdog Mark Sanford told to resign the governorship in the wake of his scandalous, taxpayer-fueled jaunts to visit his mistress in Argentina.

Republican state lawmakers on Tuesday met with disgraced South Carolina Gov. Sanford, under fire for an extramarital affair and questionable {“Questionable”?? It’s all on paper! WTF?? – Ed.} spending, and told him to resign -- but the governor rejected their advice.

Sanford ally Rep. Nathan Ballentine told CNN that he and Rep. Gerry Simrill had a private talk with the governor for about 40 minutes and warned him that unless he steps down, House Republicans would likely impeach him.

"We wouldn't presume to guess what our fellow republicans in the House Judiciary Committee may or may not decide to do," said Sanford spokesman Ben Pox. "But we do know that there are real issues facing South Carolina tied to economic development and spending – areas where we’ve had plenty of experience.”

Update: the SC lieutenant governor will also ask Sanford to step down, says his spokesman.

CIA documents fail to prove Cheney’s 'enhanced interrogation' claims

Hmmmmm…. “Give me a waterboard, Dick Cheney and one hour” – Jesse Ventura, 5/09.

Strikingly, [the documents] provide little evidence for Cheney’s claims that the “enhanced interrogation” program run by the CIA provided valuable information. In fact, throughout both documents, many passages actually suggest the opposite of Cheney’s contention: that non-abusive techniques actually helped elicit some of the most important information the documents cite in defending the value of the CIA’s interrogations.

Can we prosecute him for war crimes now?

Stay classy, Amerikkka

Rightwingnut mob boos John McCain for stating that Obama 'respects the Constitution of the United States.'

[Yesterday] in a town hall forum in Arizona, an elderly woman asked Sen. McCain whether President Obama [-- a Constitutional Law scholar -- ] knows “that we still live under a Constitution.”

WTF? Just how have your constitutional rights been violated, asswipe?

To his credit, McCain distanced himself from the questioner’s claim, saying “I’m sure that he does.” He then added that Obama “respects the Constitution of the United States,” at which point the crowd broke out in loud boos. But McCain stood firm, explaining that there’s just a “fundamental difference in philosophy and about the role of government.” “I am convinced the president is absolutely sincere in his beliefs,” he said, again eliciting boos and jeers from the crowd.

Nice. Good Christians all, I’m sure. And where were these idiots when the Dictator-tot and his cronies were pissing all over it and calling the Constitution “just a Goddamn piece of paper”? On Planet Asshole? Fuckheads.

As someone once said on the internets, calling them ‘scumbuckets’ does a disservice to buckets filled with scum.

CNN still whoring for the gop

‘CNN gets snookered by Cheney’ in interrogation argument, says the Plum Line.

Good piece, but I don’t believe it was a case of snookering but of kissing repuke ass. They’re big fans of the Dick, which is one of the reasons I haven’t watched the Corporate Neanderthal Nutwork in months. Pretending to be more ‘fair and balanced’ than their rival just makes them more dangerous and pisses the bejeebus out of me.

Plus shit, if I wanted to watch Fux News, I’d actually watch Fox Nooze.

Free speech should not mean being free to lie out your ass

Glenn Beck calling Obama ‘racist’ is grounds for pulling ads, but Fux’s routine and demonstrable lying is not.

Why is anyone using “racist” or “nazi” subject to huge public backlash when FLAT OUT LYING about the things that most affect our daily lives has no penalty at all.

[W]hy is bold-faced lying, intentional misrepresentation of facts, and promoting mob behavior NOT grounds for boycotts? Why doesn’t the REAL harm Fox news does to our country not subject them to some kind of backlash?

Ignoring the real facts

… the truth, fairness, sanity, the Bible…

[Crazed nincompoop] Michele Bachmann (R-MN) made an interesting appeal to conservative activists last week on a telephone town hall: To help stop the Democrats' health care bill, through the power of fasting and intercessionary prayer.

Well, if they fast long enough, it won’t be a problem.

Bachmann praised Sarah Palin for raising the alarm about "death panels" that would deny any health care to the elderly and mentally disabled. "Thank God that Sarah Palin said that," said Bachmann. "These are true."

Didn’t God have something to say about lying and bearing false witness? I could’ve sworn…

Maybe I’m the stupid one, for reading this shit

Pajamas Media’s Scott Ott’s footie pjs have apparently jettisoned themselves in disgust and entwined themselves around his neck, cutting off the blood supply to his head. The first sign? He quotes “big journalism’s” big whore failure wHoreward Kurtz, reporting on big journalism. Second? He posits that the MSM is in the bag for Prez Obama, after eight years of slurping up to retarded liar Il DuceBag and even now continuing to book more repuke guests than Dems on their shows. Third? He out and out lies over Pimento Palin’s death panel comments. Fourth? He quotes wHoward again. Fifth, he’s an asshole.

Howard Kurtz, in his August 24 Washington Post column, calls big journalism’s failure to knock down Sarah Palin’s “death panel” charge “a stunning illustration of the traditional media’s impotence.” As you may have noticed, the “traditional” media recently morphed from administration critics into a pro bono public relations firm for the White House. It happened on or about January 20, 2009. Now, they’re flummoxed by their failure to refute a woman they believe has the communications savvy of a pimento...

The reason why the “traditional” media has failed to knock down what Kurtz, et al, see as spurious “death panel” allegations is because journalists and politicians ignore the real facts and the legitimate concerns of the American people.

Real facts? Like there are no such things as death panels? Or death books? That people will still be able to choose what kind of plan they want? That politicians aren’t able to discuss ‘legitimate concerns’ at town halls because of all the frothing dittomonkeys screaming over them? Hmmmmm?

But people like Kurtz fail to understand that Palin does not allege that the health care reform bill contains the phrase “death panel” or that it openly advocates euthanasia. Sarah Palin’s charge has legs because: Americans love freedom.

OMFG.

Rethug values

Florida rethuglican group holds first ever "Shotgun & Bible" fundraising raffle. The Bible is for the sap who comes in second.

Headline of the day

“With Clorox pulling ads from Beck's show how will his listeners know what to use to whiten their robes?”

-- from fark. Actual story here.

‘We don’t torture’

But we will kill your children. And stick a power drill in your eyes. And cut off your genitals with a dremel. And your limbs with a chainsaw. After we shoot that guy in the next cell.

New information reveals the CIA threatened prisoners with execution by guns and power tools. But hey, it's not like there's a specific federal law banning that, right?


Rule of law! Rule of law!

Flag-shaped potato, doorstop: ‘what are we, chopped liver?’

Illinois repugs forget to put up a flag prior to their circlejer meeting -- so they pledge allegiance to Gene, a man in an American flag t-shirt.


Good Christ.

Fox Nooze? I don't think so, sez UPS Stores

It’s not just Glenn Beck’s hate-show that’s feeling the purple-dyed finger of freedom up the pooper -- UPS has temporarily dropped ALL Fox ‘News’ advertising.

Oh, and AP hack? It’s not a libcommies-hate-freedom-of-speech thing:

“[T]he reason for the backlash is not liberal/progressive vs. conservative, its about responsible rhetoric vs. irresponsible rhetoric… Folks like Beck, Hannity, Bill O'Reilly and Lou Dobbs are not problems because they represent a conservative point of view, they are problems because they use misinformation and outright lies.”

Exactly.

Mavericky!

STEPHANOPOULOS: That's not in the bill.
MCCAIN: Wharrrgarrbl
STEPHANOPOULOS: I don't think that's correct, Senator.
MCCAIN: Wharrrrrgarrrrbl
STEPHANOPOULOS: But that's not a death panel.
MCCAIN: Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Partisan asshat John McCain joins the "government healthcare will kill you" brigade. Forgets to mention he’s had government healthcare since turned 18.

MCCAIN: Well, I think that what we are talking about here is do -- are we going to have groups that actually advise people as these decisions are made later in life and …

STEPHANOPOULOS: That's not in the bill.

MCCAIN: But -- it's been taken out, but the way that it was written made it a little bit ambiguous.

It’s not in there any more, it’s gone, but while it was in there it could have possibly meant government death squads goosestepping up to your door. Maybe. If you’re a partisan paranoic Rushbot, that is.



Touchhole. In a related story, prior to the election McCain said he had a plan to capture bin Laden. Well? What’s he waiting for? Does he hate America?

Obama's plan to ‘desecrate 9/11’

Secret Kenyan Muslim to change GW Bush Glorious Bullhorn Day into Hate America Day, writes the Amerikkkan exSpectorator’s cranky, tinfoiled sap Matthew ‘dumb’ Vadum:

The Obama White House is behind a cynical, coldly calculated political effort to erase the meaning of the Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks from the American psyche and convert Sept. 11 into a day of leftist celebration and statist idolatry. This effort to reshape the American psyche has nothing to do with healing the nation and everything to do with easing the nation along in the ongoing radical transformation of America that President Obama promised during last year's election campaign.

The plan is to turn a "day of fear" that helps Republicans into a day of activism called the National Day of Service that helps the left

’A day to help ALL Americans’? Not mentioned at all. But ‘Those traitorous Hitler-loving commie socialist tree-hugging pussies!,’ yeah.

In other words, nihilistic liberals are planning to drain 9/11 of all meaning.

Talk about desecrating: repukes, your “day of fear” was exploited time and time again by your own party, used as a political sledgehammer to silence dissent, go to war in Iraq, subvert our Constitution and help your asshole candidate stay in office. So excuse me now if I say shut the fucking fuck up, you miserable fucked up nutjobs. And fuck you.

Feh. What Prez Obama should have done was designate August 6th as Cuttin’ Brush with Bush Day, Ah’d Rather Be Readin’ ‘Muh Pet Goat’ day or even The Day GW Bush Failed America, in honor of then-pretzaldent Drinky Disastermonkey totally blowing off his PDB entitled “Bin Laden Determined to Attack Inside the US.” That would have been awesome.

Attack on Obama riles Beck's advertisers

Weeping neofascist Glenn Beck returns to Fox “News” after a forced vacation with fewer sponsors than when he left, reports karmasux.com:

A total of 33 Fox advertisers, including Walmart, CVS Caremark, Clorox and Sprint, directed that their commercials not air on Beck's hate-show, according to the companies. That's more than a dozen more than were identified a week ago.

One company, CVS Caremark, has told its advertising agency to inform Fox that it wanted no commercials on Beck’s loonytoon POS show.

"We support vigorous debate, especially around policy issues that affect millions of Americans, but we expect it to be informed, inclusive and respectful," said a spokeswoman.

”In fact, now that you mention it, I don’t know why we advertise on that nutwork at all,” she should have said.


If by 'Fuhrer' you mean 'Rush Limbaugh.'

Rethug moral values

UpChuck Grasshole admits he lied about non-existent death panels, then proceeds to compound his idiocy (via BuzzFlash):

Senator Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa) acknowledged on Sunday that the claims he made two weeks ago -- that Democratic health care legislation would allow the government to "pull the plug on grandma" -- did not reflect the language of the bills.

In an appearance on CBS' "Face the Nation," the lying fuckwad admitted that the current legislation being considered by Congress didn't include the infamous death panel provision that would allow the government to determine who should live or die.

Touching of the bizarreness of the whole segment, earlier in the program it was Grassley who was accusing the White House of damaging health care negotiations by sending mixed messages on its beliefs and preferences:

Supportin’ the terrists

At a town hall meeting last week, Rep. Wally Herger’s (R-CAca) put political discourse and facts aside for fear-mongering and partisan pandering. Of course he got a standing o from his ignorant, crazed, dittomonkey constituents.

Herger did not hold back on his opinion of the health care plan and the administration’s appointment of “czars” to head various departments and task forces.

“Our democracy has never been threatened as much as it is today,” Herger said to a loud standing ovation.

Completely and conveniently forgetting all about the War of 1812, the Civil War, the Cold War, WWII, and the Bush misadministration.

The audience also loudly cheered a man who stood up and declared himself to be “a proud right wing terrorist.”

“Amen, God bless you,” Herger responded. “There is a great American.”

At which point the DHS should have arrested them both.

Fuck. Nobody would have tolerated this shit when Bush was in office. Homeland Security would’ve kicked down your door and hauled your ass to prison. You’d’ve gotten audited by the IRS and put on the no-fly list. Your family would’ve been stalked by Malkin & O’Reilly goon squads. Shit, you couldn’t even wear an anti-Bush t-shirt without being called a traitor, or in some cases, getting arrested.

So who are the anti-American terrorists again?

Oh, fun fact: though he was pretty extreme in stating why he’s against the health care plan, he was kinda squirrelly in providing his own ideas:

“There are many things we can do,” Herger responded without going into specifics.

What a surprise.

Here we are! Yesterday a storm came through that took out a hell of a lot of trees and power lines -- we were without electricity for over 13 hours. We have a lot of cleaning up to do, but of course its still raining. And all of our corn was knocked down!! Arghh. One more week and it would have been ready to pick. : (

Quote of the day

"Conservative group targets Obama's vacation with attack ad. Obviously rather than spending time with his family occasionally, he should be clearing brush every other weekend.”

-- headline from the interweb. Actual story here.

Pithed jerkoff loses more sponsors

Already, 20 companies have agreed to pull advertisements from Glenn Beck's television hate-show, within weeks of the Fox host calling Obama "a racist" and saying the president "has a deep-seated hatred for white people or the white culture."

Now, Farmers Insurance can be added to that list, a Farmers spokesperson confirms to Conlickico.

Suck it, you hateful twerp.

Death panels my ass, sez conservative pundit

… before getting tarred and feathered by the rightwingnut community.

Let's be honest about death counseling, writes the normally-wharrrgarrrrbling Charles ‘krap’ Krauthammer at towndump.com. Really? Gee, that’d be a first.

”Let's see if we can have a reasoned discussion about end-of-life counseling. We might start by asking Sarah Palin to leave the room. I've got nothing against her. She's a remarkable political talent. But there are no "death panels" in the Democratic health care bills, and to say that there are is to debase the debate.”

Actually, liberals are already putting together a mission statement for one of the first of many Death Panels. A draft supplied to a WTF operative mentions “performing forced abortions in order to sell infants’ stem cells” and “killing aged parents in order to supply organs to illegal immigrants.” Any blood spilled will be mixed with Holy Eucharist dough, to be used in our pagan rituals with gays and lesbians.

Mitt Romney's fundraising has worst monthly haul of the year

The Mittster’s political committee (FPAC) raised only $178,000 upon news that Romney is a smug, dog-abusing Mormon with a penchant for fudge-packing, reports the republigargle.com.

To be sure, fundraising tends to slow in the summer particularly in off years — but they still beat the pants off Sarah Palin’s and Mike Huckabee’s groups, drillmepac and Jesuslovesmebestpac, so they have that going for them, sort of.

Gingrich's op-ed gets slammed by LA Times readers

The heath-care article by Newt Gingrich misses the point. Just like his last 2 – 3 marriage vows.

”Sadly, there's nothing new in Gingrich's attacks on healthcare reform. There is now a possibility for progress and change. Yet opponents like Gingrich would rather fight the same old partisan political battles. But beware of the attempts to derail progress with scare tactics, personal attacks and bogus claims. Our nation has backed away from reform before, and our system is worse for it.

”I'll tell you what the truly scary option is: It's doing nothing.”

– More here.

Fat chance, jerkoff

Satan’s porcine handmaiden: ‘why John Conyers, the New York Times, and the WaComPo owe me an apology.’

Rather punchy blogger: why demented piglet Karl Rove owes all of us an apology. From the inside of FPMITA prison.

Profiles in courage

Former Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge admits that he was pressured to raise the terror alert to help Bush win re-election in 2004.

Just when I think I’ve gotten over my hatred for them. Get this: Tom Ridge, the guy the nation was supposed to depend on for our lives, says he was pressured by the misadministration --the guys the nation was supposed to depend on for our lives -- to raise the terror alert level just before the 2004 presidential election..

Former US homeland security chief Tom Ridge charges in a new book that top aides to then-president Tipsy McStaggers pressured him to raise the "terror alert" level to sway the November 2004 US election.

Then-defense secretary Donald Rumsfeld and attorney general John Ashcroft pushed him to elevate the color-coded threat level, but Ridge refused, according to a summary from his publisher.

"After that episode, I knew I had to follow through with my plans to leave the federal government for the private sector," Ridge whined.

NOW he tells us. What we already knew, but still. Fucking cowardly fuck.

Repukes shaft grandma

Levi Johnston's mom’s addiction arrest due to lack of health insurance --

Sherry Johnston pleaded guilty Wednesday to one count of possession with intent to deliver the painkiller OxyContin... Sherry Johnston has two pain pumps implanted in her body to deliver medication because she suffers a rare condition involving scurvy and chronic pelvic pain from prior medical surgeries, Butler said. She was receiving professional pain relief treatment but the problems arose when her insurer refused to pay for the medication.

Unbelievable. Why do upChuck Grasshole, Sarah Failin et al hate fellow republicans, babies’ grannies?

Glenn Beck forced to go on vacation?

Closeted neofascist and dribbling psychopath may or may not have been sent off for his own good, reports MediaBistro. Or do they?

Tipsters inside Fox ‘News’ tell TVNewser that Glenn Beck’s vacation this week was not planned. He was TOLD to take the week off to let some of the heat surrounding him die down...

As the list of advertisers pulling out of his show grew like Lindsey Graham at an altar boy breakfast, so did the resolve inside the nutwork that something more should be done.

Fux and Beck are both denying anything of the sort, but let’s face it, their track record for telling the truth is pretty damn skimpy, so fuck ‘em.


Turd.

Repuke moral values

Rep. Roy Blunt (R-MO) bluntly slammed in hometown paper after he’s caught lying about health care reform. In other words, caught being a typical republican.

Hawaii 5-0

“[Yesterday was] the 50th Anniversary of Hawaiian statehood. Hawaii is of course famous for the hula, luaus, volcanoes, and temporarily being Kenya one day in 1961” – headline at fark.com.


Just because.

IOKIYAR

If members of a liberal group had brought guns to a Presidential event when Bush was in office, would conservatives have supported them because it was their "right"? Or would they have called them terrorists, demanded their immediate sentencing, and hounded their families even as the Secret Service were kicking their heads in?

That’s assuming any lib could escape from the 1st Amendment Zone set up way down the road, BTW.

Congress deadlocked on how to fuck over Americans

After months of committee meetings and hundreds of hours of heated debate, the United States Congress remained deadlocked this week over the best possible way to deny Americans health care.

The legislative stalemate largely stems from competing ideologies deeply rooted along party lines. Democrats want to create a government-run system for not providing health care, while Republicans say coverage is best denied by allowing private insurers to make it unaffordable for as many citizens as possible.

"No matter what we come up with," [Senate leader Harry] Reid said, "rest assured that millions of citizens will remain dangerously uninsured, and the inflated health care industry will continue to bankrupt the country for decades."

-- gotta love The Onion.

Just STFU, you massive POS

Criminal scumbag Tom DeLay wants to see Prez Obama's birth certificate.

Furious blogger wants to see Tom DeLay in prison. ‘Dancing’ with a huge-ass lib inmate.

The newest bizarro cult? The GOP

"Since Obama's rise, the right has been skipping frantically from one fantasy to another, like a person in the throes of a mental breakdown," writes columnist Johann Hari of the London Independent:

How could the cry of "Drill, baby, drill" have been beaten by a supposedly big government black guy? So a streak that has always been there in the American right's world-view – to deny reality, and argue against a demonic phantasm of their own creation – has swollen. Now it is all they can see.

These increasingly frenzied claims have become so detached from reality that they often seem like black comedy.

“How do they train themselves to be so impervious to reality?”

They’re fucking stupid, that’s why. It’s easy to brainwash the cataclysmically stupid.

Ensign proudly announces the new gpuke ethical standard: I did nothing 'legally wrong'

‘I mean, it’s not like I got a blowjo… OK, wait…’

Adulterer and still-Senator John Ensign told the Ass Press on Wednesday that his affair with a friend's wife was a mistake but not as bad as former President Bill Clinton's relationship with a White House intern because he didn't lie about it under oath.

Melanie Sloan, CREW's executive director, said Ensign's distinction between his situation and that of Clinton was essentially an attempt to claim his affair was less contemptible:

"Isn't that a little like saying, 'It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is?’”

Really. There was no controlling legal authority!!

When you’re under oath in divorce court you won’t feel so fucking smug, you sanctimonious fuckhead.

Glenn Beck's 912 followers in desperate scramble to stop hemorrhage of sponsors

As the uberpatriot’s weepy hate-a-thon on Faux continues to bleed corporate sponsors, his ovine acolytes heed the call --

Yesterday eight more companies, including retail giant Wal-Mart, dropped sponsorship of Beck's program. That makes over 20 companies that have pulled their advertising from Beck's show in the past 2 weeks. Rather than apologize or stop spewing divisive hate speech, Beck seems to be responding by tapping his vast, creepy army of "912" followers to wage a counterprotest…

I’m not going to link to their horribly-designed webpage, called something like weepypussyassedliar, rushsaidso or defendglenn, but you have to weep for all the poor dictionaries that were pawed stickily during the process of putting it together.

Joining Wal-Mart in hating America:
GMAC Financial Services
Roche Pharma
Progressive Insurance
Best Buy
Sanofi-Aventis
CVS
Travelocity
Geico
ConAgra
(Radio)Shack
Men’s Wearhouse
State Farm
Sargento Cheese
Procter & Gamble

But all is not lost for poor Glenn. He’s picked up some new sponsors!

SS, DD

Eric Boehlert: Health care mobs = Swift Boat Vets. And the press plays dumb, again.

But what has been perfectly consistent is the way the press has, again, fallen for a right-wing smear campaign and dressed it up as news. Just as with the Swifties, the press has turned over its summer coverage to a band of agitators spreading misinformation. Five summers ago, the Swift Boat Vets helped hijack the election. They lied about documents, they lied about eyewitness, and they lied about their partisan affiliations and connections... Too spooked by the GOP Noise Machine and its charge of liberal media bias, the press propped up the Vets as serious men and showered them with attention.

Fringe players on the right are making wild accusations that cannot be backed up by fact. The mainstream media response? We must cover the phenomenon daily, even hourly!

Swiftboaters = health care goons = teabaggers = birthers = deathpanelers = the latest disaster. Sort of like a tornado, or a shark attack, or Hanna Montana pole-dancing. Of COURSE the media is going to cover it. Until the next disaster comes along. They make me sick.

Aaaaaaaaaaghhh

I’m so sick of this shit. Between the out-of-control repukes and the spineless Dems I haven’t been able to watch the nooze for days. But I did get an email 'breaking news' from CNN yesterday that Satan had finally recalled incontinent traitor Bob Novak back to Hell. Good riddance, you creepy old bastard. Phthththth.

OMG! Teh cute!

A capybara. Eating a popsicle.


Huge Capybara Eating a Popsicle - Watch more Funny Videos
I want one now. Both.

Hitler finds out Michael Jackson is dead

I can't help it. These always crack me up.

iWant

Stuck in traffic? Need to vent your frustrations by going on a freeway killing spree? There's an app for that:


iGun Road Rage - Watch more Funny Videos
LOL. Boy, do I need this! I can even use it if I ever watch cable news again!

More of this, please

Barney has a frank talk with a teabagging asswipe.

Fuck bipartisanship. Fuck reasoned discourse. There’s no way in hell anyone can have a discussion with these people. Thank GOD there is Barney Frank, who shows Dems how to do it right at his town hall Tuesday:

UNIDENTIFIED WOMAN: Why do you continue to support a Nazi policy, as Obama has expressly supported this policy?

FRANK: Well, let me –

UNIDENTIFIED IDIOT WOMAN: Why are you supporting it?

FRANK: Let me -- wait, I will –

UNIDENTIFIED REPUKE ASSWIPE WOMAN: A real solution.

FRANK: When you asked me that question, I am going to revert to my ethnic heritage and answer your question with a question: On what planet do you spend most of your time?

[...]

FRANK: Do you want me to answer the question?

UNIDENTIFIED HATEFUL BITCH: Yes.
FRANK: Yes. As you stand there with a picture of the president defaced to look like Hitler and compare the effort to increase health care to the Nazis, my answer to you is, as I said before, it is a tribute to the First Amendment that this kind of vile, contemptible nonsense is so freely propagated.

Ma'am, trying to have a conversation with you would be like trying to argue with a dining room table. I have no interest in doing it.

Fuck yeah. Damn. Enough of this bullshit already.

Libs tired of compromise, taking it up the ass

Ummm, we won, guys. Fucking ACT like it. Duh.

Frustrated liberals have a question for President Barack Obama and Democratic lawmakers: Isn't it time the other guys gave a little ground on health care? What's the point of a bipartisan bill, they ask, if we're making all the concessions?

A case in point: Sen. upChuck Grassley, a key republican negotiator on health care, was on a winning streak as Congress recessed for August, having wrung important concessions from Democrats, including an agreement not to tax employer-provided health insurance and a limit to demands on drug companies. How did Grassley reciprocate? With an attack that struck Democrats as stunning and baseless.

Many liberals are fed up…

You bet your ass, Goddammit.

As the Loony Get Loonier

Yet more anti health reform insanity from the Right Loonynuts:

Your tax-dollars will pay for preferential hiring of homosexual hospital administrators, who distribute $50,000 grants to gender-confused activists for unneeded elective surgery to mutilate their own genitals, (and force Christian doctors to perform it.)

Still waiting for the "liberal media" to debunk......ahhhh never mind, it must be true.

Armed Rump Rangers Mobilize

Conservatards who think Obama's gonna take away their guns show up at his town halls.
The difference between Dem supporters and Fascist Rethug supporters? Libs don't take fucking guns to an opposition rally:

There were men carrying guns outside the Phoenix Convention Center Monday morning during President Barack Obama’s visit, but no arrests were made, according to Phoenix Police.
The Phoenix Police originally said three persons were spotted with guns in downtown Phoenix near Obama's appearance and later upped that count to 12. Police officials, whp were expecting some armed demonstrators, said one man was carrying an assault rifle.
It is not illegal to carry guns openly in Arizona, but police kept close tabs on the men, said spokesman Andy Hill.
Obama spoke at the Veterans of Foreign Wars convention at the center Monday. Protesters in downtown Phoenix focused on the health care reform debate.
Security was heightened but not intense in downtown Phoenix during the president’s visit.

People were arrested at Stupie Von Pretzelnut's apperances for wearing a "dangerous" T-shirt or for having an offensive bumper sticker.
A fucking ASSAULT RIFLE?????
These fucktards think they are patriots.
The join the Army , you penile challenged pencil dicked button hole carrot whackers!

Deep Thought

As I have watched my 401k get it's ass kicked in the last year, I sure am thankful to still have that socialist social security program that Stupie insisted that was so fucked that it needed "reform."
I just wish we could all have health care coverage as bad as that.
The Seniors don't seem to mind their free, socialized, single payer system that much.
Then again how about those other socialist things we have like Fire Departments, the Post Office, Public schools.......