Jesus Christ
How fucking stupid is this??

Grand Canyon National Park is not permitted to give an official estimate of the geologic age of its principal feature, due to pressure from Bush administration appointees. Despite promising a prompt review of its approval for a book claiming the Grand Canyon was created by Noah's flood rather than by geologic forces, more than three years later no review has ever been done and the book remains on sale at the park, according to documents released today by Public Employees for Environmental Responsibility (PEER).

"In order to avoid offending religious fundamentalists, our National Park Service is under orders to suspend its belief in geology," stated PEER Executive Director Jeff Ruch. "It is disconcerting that the official position of a national park as to the geologic age of the Grand Canyon is ‘no comment.'"

Shit, everyone knows it was created by a meatball rolling off one of the noodly appendages of the FSM.

Look, daddy, ah got 'im!
"Deranged leader, responsible for the death of countless innocent Iraqi citizens, continues vacation in Crawford." - headline on teh intarwebs.

Saddam was executed by hanging last night, as Bunnypants peacefully slept with his stuffed Moses an' sherriff's badge and dreamt that he had ordered an x-tra large ball-holster from amazon.com.

And violence continued to rage in Iraq. December has already surpassed October as the deadliest month for US troops this year, with the death toll reaching 108. At least 2,997 US servicemen and women have been killed since the war started, but Retard McJerkhole will strut around with an extra-large smirk on his stupid monkey phiz today 'cause th' evildooer's dead, an' he helped.

Insufferable warmongering dipshit wins 'Villian of the Year'
Il Ducebag named the "ultimate villain" of 2006. His mother must be so proud...

Asked to name the candidate that first came to mind for "biggest villain of the year", Bush won by a landslide, with 25 percent, followed by bin Laden, the al-Qa'ida leader, in second place with 8 percent.

Rounding out the top five villains were Saddam, who is awaiting execution, with 6 percent; Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, 5 percent, and North Korean leader Kim Jong-il, 2 percent -- from the three countries Bush once designated as the "Axis of Evil."

On edit: screengrab from Crooks 'n' Liars -


Worse... than... Satan.
****

Why we need more troops in Iraq
By Joseph Lieberman, pandering butt-lubed mumbler/patsy

Extremists attacked us on 9/11!!

How'd I do? Numnumnumnumnums!!!!

Is our children learning?
LOL. This is the monkey-mail we found in our inbox this morning:

dude your an idiot all you do is bitch about the republicans and some fucken gay ass polar bare u seriously need to get a fucken life.

This is the list of referral search queries done for the same time:

naughty forced fuck fantasy
PUDPULLERS CA
whore-chow
women love poopflingers
squirrels with sticks

Somebody's got issues, and I don't think it's me.

Now kin ah have muh ice cream??
See, we're makin' progress!

Squinty McFuckwit worked nearly three whole hours during his Christmas vacation in Texas on Thursday to design a new US policy in Iraq, then emerged to say that he and his advisers need more time to craft the plan he'll announce in the new year.

Bush made his three-minute statement on a dirt road lined with cactus, then turned away, ignoring a reporter's question about the pending execution and the one of Saddam's, heading off to the "bunkhouse" for cookies an' eggnog an' tuh play with his new Bible action figures.

Suck it, pukes
"Overnight, the spirit of Edward R. Murrow was reborn."

What a month it has been for the right wing religious conservative cabal attempting to subvert the very meaning of America. First voters overwhelmingly reject their God-anointed leader Pres. George W(orst) Bush. Then The Nativity Story is rejected not only by pagans, Jews and Muslims but most Christians. Now comes word that not only has their beloved mouthpiece of fair and balanced news reporting - Fox News - dropped out of the top ten most watched cable channels but, oh horror of horror, Keith Olbermann's nightly reminder that Bush was anointed by the Supreme Court and not God is single-handedly responsible for increasing the viewership of MSNBC 25% over this time a year ago.

[H]e has become the premier spokesman for the disenfranchised American patriot who has watched in disbelief as Americans by the millions confused supporting the eternal ideal of America with supporting a patently delusional spoiled brat rummy whose decision to send men and women to war is based on nothing more substantial that wanting to prove to mommy that he's the real man in the family.

- seen at BartCop.

Woodward: Gerald Ford criticized WH's justification for war
"Where [the fuck] does (Bush) get his advice?" the former president said in a 2004 interview. "I mean, Christ - was there ever a bigger lying sack of crap than Dick Cheney?"

A fond look back at 2006
Some use the first sentence of each month's post, others the most commented-on. I'm going with the best of the posts from the first day of each month!

January: Catapulting the propaganda: Sanctimonious hypocrite and newest whore in the CNN stable of whoredom was being paid by the Bush WH.

February: I would've gotten tanked if it weren't for Cheney's hypno-tie and all the NyQuil I was downing.

March: Corrupt scumbag Tom DeLay will speak at a Christian conference for values voters - because nothing says values like facing criminal conspiracy charges and being indicted for violating campaign finance laws.

April: Bush preps for historic third term

May: "In all due respect to my colleagues, General Hayden is really more of an intelligence person than he is an Air Force officer," McCain said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm out of Vaseline and mouthwash."

June: Coalition of the... hey! Get back over here!!

July: Poll: 'Good news' fails to boost Stupie McLyington's job approval

August: Pious Saint Ricky the Drooler can't win on his own, so the rethugs are spiking the race.

September: "A crowd of thousands cheered... '"This is what democracy looks like.'"

October: "No thanks, I'm a registered Republican."

November: So, US Rep. John Sweeney - when did you stop beating your wife?

December: I would pay to see one where the husband stands outside in the driveway with a big red bow tied around his d***, for once.

Also in December we said goodbye to our dear friend Jaffa. I miss him curled up next to me at night, cutting off my circulation. Rest near meeces, kitten.

Mwaahahahaha!
Il Ducebag "moving quickly" to hire shitloads of lawyers.

President Bush is bracing for what could be an onslaught of investigations by the new Democratic-led Congress by hiring lawyers to fill key White House posts and preparing to play defense on countless document requests and possible subpoenas.

LOL. Suck it, pukes!

Well, like, better late than never, right?
Bush wants polar bears listed as endangered due to climate change he refused to do anything about or even acknowledge.


Uhhh, wrong. Idiot.

It's Christmastime in Hell!
Saddam Hussein could hang within 30 days now that his appeal has been rejected and the Bush misadministration doesn't need him around anymore.

Rest in peace
Two American giants - entertainer James Brown and actual president Gerald Ford - are dead. Ford, senselessly at 93.

During happier times...


"Hey, blackie... uhhhh, Brownie - didja bring any coke?"
****

Gotta finish up cooking and wrapping - Merry Christmas, everyone!!

xxxooo

To all our friends in blogtopia
xxxxxooooo! Thanks for everything this year!

"All I Want For Christmas Is You"

Almost Christmas cat blogging


Berry looks for more toys to play with.
*****

OK, how f***ing cute is that?!
Why can't I find one of these hanging on my Christmas tree?!

Feeling a draft yet?
The Bush misadministration is planning a test run of America's emergency military call-up system, but denies it's bringing back the draft. I mean, it's not like the military is almost at its breaking point or anything. Goodness gracious no.

Congratulations to Mia Culpa, this year's winner of the Monkeyfister Au Peer Award!

Maybe it's the holiday stress
Boy, is God a huge crankbag these days...

I'm so sorry
"Carol of the Meows"

Dude!

Friday cat blogging


Egon is verrrrrrrry comfortable.
*****

Toe-sucking midget "leaving the country" if Clinton-Obama ticket wins
Rethug spooge-container and Fox News political anal-yst Dick Morris promises to cut-and-run if Hillary is elected -

Guest host Karen HANRETTY: So what you're proposing is a ticket of Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama. And you think that America is ready for not only the first female president of the United States, but for a black man to be president and next in line?

MORRIS: Well, first of all, I'm not proposing it. I'm leaving the country if this happens.

COLMES: Oh, come on. You promise?

HANRETTY: You're going to pull an Alec Baldwin on us, Dick?

COLMES: We've got it on tape now.

MORRIS: You guys can do this from Peru, right? I do not want Hillary Clinton controlling the FBI and the IRS and the CIA and the DEA.

She might find those pictures of me naked and blowing goats!

Sweet Jesus, what the fuck is wrong with Bill O'Reilly??
"[M]ost women who like artificial trees ... have artificial breasts."

O'REILLY: Sixty-two percent of Americans will have a Christmas tree, but most of the trees will be artificial.

E.D. HILL (radio co-host): That surprises me. Only 62 percent have Christmas --

O'REILLY: Yeah. And here -- and here's a very -- here's something that Rasmussen didn't poll but I know, that most women who like artificial trees --

HILL: Yeah?

O'REILLY: -- have artificial breasts.

HILL: What?!?

O'REILLY: Did you know that? Yeah. There's a correlation. Yeah, there was a study done --

HILL: You know --

O'REILLY: It was. It was done at UCLA in L.A. All right --

HILL: I don't believe you --

O'REILLY: -- we gotta take a break -- we gotta take a break, and we'll be back with Reverend Barry Lynn to talk about why there's so much angst about Christmas in a moment.

??!?!?!?!???? Gawd.

Cool, sad, ... tasty...
Japanese research team captures giant squid off the coast of Tokyo.

Making the pie higher
Bunnypants' "Stay the course" was named the catch phrase of the year on Thursday by the Global Language Monitor.

For the rest of us
Vanderlay Industries... uhhhh, The Wagner Company, based in Milwaukee, is bringing back its line of Festivus poles for the holiday season. Serenity Order yours now!

Fox: 'fuck this!'
Arbiter of America's moral values Fox Television argues that the FCC's profanity rules are fucking unfair in a federal appeals court hearing Wednesday.

Profiles in courage
Doing the people's business

Oh really?

Of all the nauseating tactics used by the Republican party in the 2006 midterm election campaign, one of the more galling was their continued insistence that Democrats had "no plan" for national security. To provide cover for that bogus claim, the Senate's GOP leadership made damn sure that they killed 528 pages of a national-security blueprint proposed by Democrats...

That legislation, dumped on an almost-straight party line vote, was one of many Democratic-sponsored measures to die in the Republican-controlled Senate in 2006 and part of a whopping three-quarters of Democratic initiatives squashed [like so many nubile young pages, over the two years of the 109th Rethug do-nothing Congress].

An analysis of all Senate roll call votes in 2006 shows that the GOP killed most legislation proposed by Senate Democrats. In all, Dems were able to scrape together a handful of Republican votes to pass just 28 pieces of legislation in all of 2006.

Who's laughing now, bitches.

Duhhbya: 'insurgents are meanie mcmeanersons!'
They're... they're evil an' they're poopyheads an' they stink!

"Listen, last year started off as an exciting year with the 12 million voters. And, you know, the attack on the Samarra - the Samarra mosque - was Zarqawi's successful attempt to foment this sectarian violence. And it's - it's - it's mean, it is deadly. And we've got to help the Iraqis deal with it."

Dumbass.

Why does Bush hate America?
French special forces had Osama bin Laden in their sights twice but their US superiors never gave them permission to fire.

The report, by journalists Eric de Lavarene and Emmanuel Razavi, asserts that the French troops had bin Laden in their rifle scopes in 2003 and then again six months later in 2004.

Four French soldiers assigned to a 200-strong special forces unit in Afghanistan under US military control all confirmed -- "at different times and in different places" -- that they could have killed bin Laden but that the order to shoot was not forthcoming.

Another Bush wimps out
'I have no future,' Jeb Bush tells reporters. Thank you, Jebus.

Il Ducebag's slightly smarter brother has ruled out any plans to return to elected office.

The unpopularity and dismal job-approval ratings of his idiot asshole brother may have scuttled any plans Jeb Bush may have had for a future in politics.

"That miserable little shit has ruined everything!"
*****

Top general in Mideast: 'fuck this shit, I'm outta here'
Gen. John Abizaid, who has opposed calls for more troops in Iraq, is leaving in March - clearing the way for a more aggressive military strategy by Awol McStupid and his powermad chickenhawk minders seeking a new way forr'd.

War preznit: 'who cares what they think?'
The Decider decides "Ah'm gonna decide! Me!"

Can you really say he's "listening to the military" when he's got his fingers in his ears going "la la la"?


"Ah'm th' Deciderer!"
*****

Cheney to take the stand, blood of children
Defense attorneys are planning to call the vice president as a witness at Scooter Libby's trial next month, hoping he doesn't get hit by a bolt of lightning during the swearing-in.

"Was I concerned? Yes," Robert Bittman, a former deputy independent counsel, expects Cheney to say. "Was it my primary issue? No. My primary issue was making sure a nuclear weapon was not detonated in the United States."

Oh please. Then again, if it works, I may use that line of reasoning at my court date for assault and battery.

//kidding

But dear, our nation is calling!
2007 will require difficult choices and additional sacrifices, says Stupie McStuperson:

"As we work with Congress in the coming year to chart a new course in Iraq and strengthen our military to meet the challenges of the 21st century, we must also work together to achieve important goals for the American people here at home. This work begins with keeping our economy growing... A recent report on retail sales shows a strong beginning to the holiday shopping season across the country -- and I encourage you all to go shopping more."

Shoes for industry! Shoes for the defense! HDTVs and miniature American flags for everyone!

Bonus: Retard McJebus wishes reporters a "happy holiday." Fox News anchors' hemorrhoids explode.

Dur de dur de dur
Awol von Bunnypants, who has long insisted we were "absolutely winning" in Iraq, decided Tuesday for the first time that we were not. He also said we weren't losing. And that we're still makin' progress.

In an interview with the WaComPo, he said he plans to increase the number of targets troops "to fight a long-term battle against terrism," which is separate from his search for a new way forward in Iraq. Which he still has not yet made a decision on yet.

Top generals have expressed concern that even temporarily shipping thousands of more troops would be largely ineffective in the absence of new political and economic steps, and that it would leave the Army and Marine Corps even thinner once the surge ended.

They also worry that it feeds a perception that the strife and chaos in Iraq is mainly a military problem; in their view it is largely political, fed by economic distress.

"Who cares what they think? Ah'll figure something out nex' month," the Decider decided. "An' ah'll come forward with a plan. We're gonna develop a strategy that helps the Iraqis sustain, govern an' defend itself. An' Santa's gonna bring me a new bicycle!"

I'm not a toomah
Pickles Stepford rids herself of useless, troublesome lump. No, the other one.

Mrrrrrrry Kitmas, Jebus!
Seen at Cute Overload -

Ehhh! Get off my lawn!
Dead deer found on the lawn of Deadeye Dick Cheney's Washington, DC home.

People passing by the vice president's residence over the weekend were shocked to see a dead deer on his lawn. "Who killed it!?" asked one horrified witness. "The deer has been there a while, because a friend e-mailed me earlier this morning to report the sad sighting. I just saw it myself. I'm crying."

Won't somebody think of the children??

In distinguished company
This site is a winner in the first annual Golden Monkeyfist Awards!

We have won "The Silver Sailor's Tongue Award -- Given for the best bastardization of MSM Reportage, cutting through the crap, and bringing the highest level of Populist Realism and Truth to the Intertubes."

I am honored! Thank you, my dear friend! And congratulations to the other winners! We rock. : ) xoxoxoxo

Keepin' us safer
Heckuva job, republicans.

On his first day as defense secretary, Robert Gates warned Monday that failure in Iraq would be a "calamity" that would haunt the United States for years. Underscoring eroding security there, a Pentagon report said the number of insurgent and sectarian attacks had risen to the highest level in years.

28 %
Suck it, legacy-boy.

Joint Chiefs: troop surge?! What're you, fucking high??
The Joint Chiefs of Staff - our military leaders, the very people Il Ducebag said he'd listen to - are in "unanimous disagreement" over the chickenhawks in the White House's pig-in-a-prom-dress "surge" idea.

[T]he Joint Chiefs think the White House, after a month of talks, still does not have a defined mission and is latching on to the surge idea in part because of limited alternatives, despite warnings about the potential disadvantages for the military.

In other words, they got nothin'. And a hell of a lot more people will have to die so Bunnypants and his minders can look like they're doing something.


"Hey, don't bug me. Ah gotta Christmas party to go to."
******

The Decider has decided
He's decided that he needs to kill more time, troops, civilians before making a decision about the Iraq war. On the other hand, he has found the time to host 24 parties over the holiday - uhhhh, Christmas - period.

Nummy numnumnummins
Perennial Bush rump swabs St John McCain and Kissyface McLeghumper join three other republicans in slamming the ISG report.

Pot, kettle, egomaniacal overexposed asshat
Pompous bore George Will on blogs, bloggers, and the new issue of Time magazine:

"It’s about narcissism, which is why a mirror is absolutely perfect. So much of what is done on the web is people getting on there and writing their diaries as though everyone ought to care about everyone’s inner turmoils."

Feh. Why the hell should we care what you think?

Powell: troop surge?! What're you, fucking high??
Former sec of state and misadministration patsy Colin Powell expressed grave doubts over War Commander Awol von Bunnypants' halfassed plan to increase troops in Iraq, calling the US Army overextended and "about broken."

Though incoming Senate majority leader Harry Reid agreed with a temporary increase only, most Dems thought the whole idea was asinine: The insurgents would simply adjust their tactics - adapt to win, as it were - and "wait us out and wait until we reduce again. I think you'd have to ask very serious questions about the utility of this," said Sen. Jack Reed. "I mean, Christ - what part of 'almost broken' don't they understand?"

Who would Jesus hate?

So some bigoted asshats made good on their threat to leave the Episcopalian Church because of its stance on the consecration of gay priests and bishops.

Imagine if their objection was that the church had consecrated an African-American man bishop, instead of a gay man. There would be lawsuits; there would be a lot more talk about how un-Christian and shameful bigotry is.

Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out, haters! Byeeeee!

May you be touched by His Noodly Appendage during this season of light.


Iraq attack figures suddenly "classified"

Justin over at TPMmuckraker reports that the military has classified monthly stats from September, October, and November of this year on the number of attacks on Iraqi security forces, civilians, and coalition troops.

This information doesn't compromise national security, but it does compromise the ability of Chimpy McFlydown to cover his ass.

I mean, it's like trying to classify the weather report from last week. And if you happen to remember that it rained last Wednesday, and you write about it, you may wind up in jail.

Farking crazy, y'all.

--dg

Losing the war, as well as the battle
Along with your credibility and your legacy.

Fareed Zakaria:

Iraq after Saddam presented a unique opportunity to steer history on a new course. But instead the Bush administration drove it into a ditch.

Heh!
Another Bush-diminishing poll, this one from the Whore Wall Street Journal/NBC News:

More Americans express doubts about a candidate who served in Bush’s cabinet (59%) than one who is gay or lesbian (53%).

Via The Sideshow.

Time magazine's cop-out of the year
Rather than dis the corrupt, incompetent, crooked, slimy, Constitution/Bill of Rights/country-and-world-destroying rethug party, Time has named "You" as their Person of the Year "for the growth and influence of user-generated content on the internet."

"It's a tool for bringing together the small contributions of millions of people and making them matter," Time magazine's Lev Grossman said.

From the article:

[L]ook at 2006 through a different lens and you'll see another story, one that isn't about conflict or great men. It's a story about community and collaboration on a scale never seen before. It's about the cosmic compendium of knowledge Wikipedia and the million-channel people's network YouTube and the online metropolis MySpace. It's about the many wresting power from the few and helping one another for nothing and how that will not only change the world, but also change the way the world changes.

And it's about dirty hippie bloggers, too. I guess I'm OK with that.

What I'll be doing today
"Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree"

SMU pooh-poohs War Preznit's lieberry
The Bush legacy. This is so cool:

"We count ourselves among those who would regret to see SMU enshrine attitudes and actions widely deemed as ethically egregious:

degradation of habeas corpus,

outright denial of global warming,

flagrant disregard for international treaties,

alienation of long-term U.S. allies,

environmental predation,

shameful disrespect for gay persons and their rights,

a pre-emptive war based on false and misleading premises,

and a host of other erosions of respect for the global human community and for this good Earth on which our flourishing depends."

In addition to opposing Bush's policies, the letter writers raise their voices against the purported mission of the library itself. Their concerns are based on a New York Daily News story of November 27, which describes the future library as a $500 million center (the costliest presidential library ever), the purpose of which would be "to spread the gospel of a presidency that for now gets poor marks from many scholars and a majority of Americans."

In other news
Bob Barr quits rethug party to become a Libertarian.

Bush cuts and runs from the "most dramatic options" for the Iraq fiasco, leaving on the table increasing US troops and passing the whole mess over to the next guy.

Democratic Sen. Evan Bayh is out of the 2008 presidential race.

John Edwards is in!

And "macaca" was named the most politically incorrect word of the year.

Slime queen shitcanned
No, the other one.

O.J. Simpson publisher and Rupert Murdoch lapdancer Judith Regan was fired Friday night by HarperCollins.

How bad are things going in Iraq?
Well, perennial Bush buttplug Arlen Specter is on his way to Syria - against Bush's wishes.

Secretary of State Rice asked Specter in a telephone call not to go to Syria, the senator said. But Specter, who had acquiesced previously to similar requests, said time was up.

"I deferred to them a year ago, and I deferred to them last August," Specter said. "And if there were any signs the administrative policy (in the Middle East) was working, I'd defer to them again."

How bad are things going? For women, life in Iraq is "just like being in jail."

"The war took all our rights."

As Islamic fundamentalism seeps into society and sectarian warfare escalates, more and more women live in fear of being kidnapped or raped. They receive death threats because of their religious sects and careers. They are harassed for not abiding by the strict dress code of long skirts and head scarves or for driving cars.

For much of the 20th century, and under various leaders, Iraq was one of the most progressive Middle Eastern countries in terms of its treatment of women, who were encouraged to go to school and enter the workforce. Saddam Hussein's Baath Party espoused a secular Arab nationalism that advocated women's full participation in society. But years of war changed that.

Spreadin' freedom an' democracy. Heckuva job, assclown.

Cats in my stuff
Milo lays waste the wastepaper basket -

Giggle
Great magazine cover, here.

Cats on my stuff
Berry presses a shirt -

Bubble-Boy: things are great!
Boy, this just about says it all, doesn't it?

Smirky McGameBoy: “I must tell you, I'm sleeping a lot better than people would assume.”

Sing, choirs of angels...
Twisted Sister, "O Come All Ye Faithful"

Perfect
Why Time's Person Of The Year should be the corrupt, warmongering, slime-mongering, scandal-ridden - did we mention corrupt? - criminals who crapped all over the Constitution: The Republican Party, "which impeached Bill Clinton for nothing, then gave us this."

If the Time Magazine Person of the Year should name the greatest influence on our country and our world, it is the Republican President, the Republican Vice President, the Republican White House political office, the Republican National Committee, the Republican Senate, the Republican House, the Republican donors, the Republican oil companies, the Republican profiteers in Iraq, the Republican White House counsels who said the wrongs were right, the Republican Attorney Generals who failed to stand up for faithfully executing the laws and for preserving, protecting and defending our Constitution.

What is so extraordinary, with results that are so catastrophic as witnessed every night on our evening news, is this: it was one political party that controlled every branch of our government, and sought permanent one party domination of our democracy, that abused one law and practice after another, that made the assassination of character an art form, and the demeaning of our democracy their mission, and they did it, in unison, together.

Awol McWarmonkey's blazing clusterfuck
The UK Guardian: "In every vital area, from Afghanistan to Egypt, [the sniveling moron's] policies have made the situation worse than it was before."

What an amazing bloody catastrophe. The Bush administration's policy towards the Middle East over the five years since 9/11 is culminating in a multiple train crash. Never in the field of human conflict was so little achieved by so great a country at such vast expense. In every vital area of the wider Middle East, American policy over the last five years has taken a bad situation and made it worse.

If the consequences were not so serious, one would have to laugh at a failure of such heroic proportions...

Some interesting morning reading
In which all agree - what the f*ck planet is this guy on??? "The power brokers in Washington spent the week carefully arranging fig leaves and tasteful screens to cover the emperor's nakedness while he was busy pretending to listen hard to everyone with an opinion about Iraq while hearing nothing."

A presidency unrelated to reality

While Iraq burns, George W. plays politics, pocket-pool

A state of desperation and denial in the White House

What's the hurry, right?
From the too bad you didn't think about that four fucking years ago department: Bush says "I will not be rushed on Iraq."

Bonus: At a meeting with Pentagon officials to discuss the war "we now find ourselves in."

Censoring scientists
The Bush misadministration wants complete authority over science and research.

The Bush administration is clamping down on scientists at the US Geological Survey, the latest agency subjected to controls on research that might go against official policy.

New rules require screening of all facts and interpretations by agency scientists who study everything from caribou mating to global warming. The rules apply to all scientific papers and other public documents, even minor reports or prepared talks.

Is our children lerning?
"Bush, concerned about grade-school children leaving him in the dust intellectually, wants to repeal ban on leaded gasoline." - headline on the intarwebs (story here).


"There's nothin' wrong with a little lead! Just lookit me!"
*****

You're with me, Leather
White House desperate to keep secret a possible "cockring-gate."

The Bush misadministration asked an appeals court Wednesday to overrule a federal judge and allow the White House to keep secret any records of visitors to Dick Cheney's home and office. To make the visitor records public would be an "unprecedented intrusion into the daily operations of the vice presidency," the WH-owned Justice Department argued.

Sorry, I couldn't hear you - I had rethug cock in my ears
Wtf is it with CNN? Political anal-ist Jeff "Gannon" Greenfield isn't CNN's only kool-aid-drinking repuke butt-humper: the most trusted name in nooze's Jeanne "Heifer" Moos put Barack Obama in split-screens with Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein. Pathetic.

Fun fact: The insufferable, tiny-peenered douchenozzle is saying it was a 'botched joke' and blames bloggers for blowing it out of proportion. Really? Here's a nice hot irony sandwich. Eat it and STFU.

Cool
A snowflake magnified from 93x-36000x.

Beauty
Democrat Ciro Rodriguez completed a "stunning political turnaround" Tuesday with an upset win over 14-year, 7-term incumbent Texas Republican Henry Bonilla that topped off the Democratic takeover of Congress. Suck it, DeLay.

Majority of America-haters say history won't be kind to lying, incompetent warmongering fuckwit
This is hysterical. Not only does it put Bush's legacy firmly in the crapper, it gives high marks to the much-maligned-and-hated-by-freetards Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter.

History's view of George W. Bush will be harsh.

In a USA TODAY/Gallup Poll taken Friday through Sunday, a 54% majority says Bush will be judged as a below-average or poor president, more than double the negative rating given any of his five most recent predecessors.

Criticized for the war and the administration's response to Hurricane Katrina, Bush "has lost his credibility," presidential biographer Robert Dallek says, "and you can't govern when people don't trust you."

Rated most highly: Saint Ronnie of Reagan. Bill Clinton ranks second; 45% say he will go down in history as an outstanding or above-average president. He is followed by Jimmy Carter, the elder Bush and Gerald Ford.

LOL. Eat it, freetards. Eat it raw. LOLOL

Yeah, baby
Senator Patrick Leahy, the incoming Democratic chairman of the US Senate Judiciary Committee, promised on Wednesday to combat what he denounced as Il Ducebag's war-time trampling of American rights.

"We have a duty to repair real damage done to our system of government over the last few years," Sen. Leahy said in outlining his panel's agenda for the Democratic-led Congress, set to convene on January 4.

"Americans' privacy is a price the Bush administration is willing to pay for the cavalier way it is spawning new databanks. But privacy rights belong to the people, not to the government," Leahy said.

Let the hearings begin...

Well, now we know who WON'T be needing a Duhbya buttplug for Christmas
Hey Greenfield - the jerk store called - they're out of you.

CNN's senior analist and blithering repuke whoreboy Jeff "Gannon" Greenfield examines Senator Barack Obama's popularity errrrrrrrr stand on the issues ummmmm inspiring message uhhhhhhhhh... fashion sense.

"[I]n the case of Obama, he may be walking around with a sartorial time bomb. Ask yourself, is there any other major public figure who dresses the way he does? Why, yes. It is Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who, unlike most of his predecessors, seems to have skipped through enough copies of "GQ" to find the jacket-and-no-tie look agreeable.

"And maybe that's not the comparison a possible presidential contender really wants to evoke. Now, it is one thing to have a last name that sounds like Osama and a middle name, Hussein, that is probably less than helpful. But an outfit that reminds people of a charter member of the axis of evil, why, this could leave his presidential hopes hanging by a thread. Or is that threads?"

Well, Jeff, you pathetic, autofellating douchenozzle, it can't be any less helpful than your comments comparing him to psychopathic Islamic terrorists, can it? Idiot.

Washington looking to play the blame game
As Preznit Personal Responsibilitude "agonises" over which bits of the ISG re­port to igno... uhhh, adopt for his “new way forward in Iraq” announcement -- whoa, whoa, wait a second. Am I missing something here? This sounds awfully like he still has no idea what the hell his "new way forward" is going to be. Or is that just me?

[A]n­other consensus is emerging in Washington on how to handle the situation: blame the Iraqis and run: "having pre-emptively invaded their country, let’s pre-emptively blame them for the mess we’ve made of it.”

Yeah. Good idea. Everybody will buy that one.

A new way forward! In a couple of months or so. Eventually
Will the Decider-in-Chief decide to cut and run from staying the course? Will he decide that adapting to win a no-win strategery? Will he ever decide anything?

The White House said Tuesday that Preznit GameBoy would delay presenting any "new strategy" for Iraq until early next year, as officials suggested that Smirky McAwol's advisers were too busy keeping him away from the bubble wrap locked in internal debates on several fronts about how to proceed without looking like even bigger incompetent boneheads.

The White House decision prompted criticism from Democratic Congressional leaders and from at least one Republican senator who said Bubble Boy was failing to show sufficient urgency about Iraq despite months of escalating violence there.

Buh... buh... but it's almost Christmas! Man! I gotta finish my letter to Santa! ///whine....

The war on Christmas
"Because the Republican Party doesn't want you to have any money for Christmas gifts, gas and oil prices are on the rise." - headline on the internets.

The Bubble Boy in the Oval Office
The first rule of the Iraq disaster is that you don't talk about the Iraq disaster.

Poppy's pals protecting Preznit Poopypants from his own pathetic pinheadedness -

Now that the Baker-Hamilton report is out, the commissioners are carefully patronizing the commander in chief. As [the LA Times] reported, "Members of the commission said they were pleased that Bush gave them as much attention as he did, a full hour's worth. 'He could have scheduled us for 20 minutes plus 10 minutes for the cameras,' said former Atty. Gen. Ed Meese."

Wow, a commission devoted hundreds or thousands of man-hours to addressing the central conundrum of U.S. foreign policy, and the president gave them a whole hour of his time!

In return for these considerations, the commission generously avoided revisiting the whole question of who got us into this fiasco and how. As the Washington Post put it, "The panel appeared to steer away from language that might inflame the Bush administration."

"Now kin ah go??"
*****

Pwn3d
More on corrupt, indicted scumbag Tom DeLay's blog - which was so well received by Dems and other disgusted voters that, instead of turning the other cheek like his dear Lord Jesus Christ, he deleted a shitload of snarky and abusive comments. Fortunately, a site dedicated "to the 75-minute period where Tom DeLay actually received feedback from America" captured them, including these gems:

Everyone already assumes bloggers are unemployed losers... thanks for reinforcing that stereotype.

You left Congress disgracefully and you want people to take you seriously? You should be in prison...

And

May your days in prison be filled with water-boarding, anal sodomy, and eye-liner

Indeed.

Bunnypants' [non]reaction to report worries father's aides
"I can too stay the course!”

Former White House advisers to George Bush-the-Slightly-Smarter are "keenly disappointed and concerned" about moronic spawn Preznit Petulant's dismissive reaction to the ISG report.

"We have a classic case of circling the wagons," says a former adviser to Bush the elder. "If the little pissant changes his policy in Iraq in a fundamental way, it undermines the whole premise of his presidency. I just don't believe he will ever do that."

White House advisers say Bush won't react in detail to the ISG report for several weeks, while he stalls... ahem, assesses it and awaits various internal government reports on the situation from his own yes-men advisers. Bush tells aides he doesn't want to "outsource" his role as commander in chief.

Some Bush allies say this is a way to buy some time as the president tries to decide how to deal with rising pressure to alter his strategy in Iraq and hopes the critical media focus on the Iraq war will soften.

In other words, f*ck the troops, f*ck everything - it's all about me me me!

So many shitheads, so little room
"Gee, I can't possibly imagine why people regarded the Republican-controlled 109th Congress as a bunch of useless, corrupt, do-nothing time-wasters." - from this week's top 10 conservative idiots.

Really
Fox News's Juan Williams: you warmongering, Bushkissing assclowns make me want to scream. 'Why can’t you say, hey, there’s a real problem in Iraq?'

Gay sex paraphernalia found in dick Cheney home
My brain hurts just thinking about this.

Found: leather cock-ring at Naval Observatory
Reply to: pers-*******@craigslistorg
Date: 2006-12-11, 5:43PM EST

If you "lost" the leather c***ring with the brass snaps in the bathroom of Bldg 56 of the Naval Observatory, contact me to reclaim. I'm dying to know who you are.

"Cockring? Maybe you should ask Lynne."
*****

Who's under siege now?
Baghdad Bob made more correct predictions about the war in Iraq than Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Kristol, Wolfowitz, Feith and Perle combined.

Unfortunately, his was the only voice of dissent countering Mr. Bush's on the world stage for a while.

Democrats in Congress were institutionally AWOL... The US media rolled over for Bush months before the military campaign even began. Organized protests against the invasion of Iraq were dismissed by editorials and beltway pundits as naive and short-sighted traitorous and terrist-enabling. [A]ll pretense of objectivity went out the window.

Decider needs more time decidin' how much of the ISG report he can ignore
How many more people have to die before he does something?

As Awol McWarPreznit continues to "review his Iraq policy," explosions in a main square in Baghdad killed at least 60 people and wounded 151.

A week after the bipartisan Iraq Study Group gave Bush 79 recommendations for changing direction in the unpopular Iraq war, [the inept, incompetent smackhead] did not appear to be warming to some of its major conclusions as he prepared his own plan.

Great timing, bonehead. NOW, almost four years into this bloody fiasco, he's "preparing a plan."

Update: and here it is! A new slogan! That'll fix everything!


"Ah'm done thinkin'."
*****

Oh, dear.

I'm afraid that Maru must be having computer problems again. :( I hope we hear from her again soon.

In the meantime, here's an icon of St. Dogbert that y'all can print out and tape to your computers to ward off the demons of stupidity that may possibly infest them. Works like a charm. Or if it doesn't, at least it might make you laugh!

--dg

It's beginning to look a lot like Prickmas

After a Cocktober Surprise and an exciting Blow-vember, you'd think things would quiet down a little bit. But noooo.

--dg

Rummy's worst day as Secretary of Defense

Was it 9/11? Was it the day we went to war in Afghanistan? In Iraq? Was it the night Karl Rove shortsheeted his bed in the Lincoln Bedroom?

No, it was the day the news broke about Abu Ghraib.

He must have known then that he was well and truly busted.

--dg












"And I'd have gotten away with it if it hadn't been for you meddling kids!"

From the "What Fresh Hell Is This?" department

Old and busted: "stay the course." New hotness: The New Way Forward.

Um, not only is this the usual dumbass rhetoric, but someone in the White House must have been asleep during the history lecture about The Great Leap Forward. Either that, or they're displaying the usual irony impairment.

--dg











Chairman Meow is not amused.

Brainteaser for today















See if you can tell who's who! One poops all over the Constitution. The other is a dog.

--dg











"Do I have to say that I'm much smarter than he is?"

Oh, how I love the smell of astroturf in the morning.

Weaselly, gerrymandering, indicted gasbag Tom DeLay has a blog, and what's more, he invites you to join his Grassroots and Information Network. I downloaded the application, and found out that in addition to inventing some conservatroll credentials, I'll need to open my Hello Kitty change purse:







I think I'll pass, as I can read amusing comments on the so-called blog for free:

Malkin is to [sic] intelligent, honest, and fair to be dealing with that tool, Annan.

Well, amusing except for making my brain hurt.

--dg

UPDATE: *snicker* Someone preserved the comments on DeLay's first post for our amusement--you can see why, one hour after going live, The Hammer decided he needed to delete all comments, turn on comment moderation, and relaunch the next day. Imagine all the lovely invective that would have been posted by now!

One of my favorites
"Jingle Bell Rock"

Whoa
Very cool pic of the Orion Nebula -



Click to enlarge.
******

Oh gawd
The man is delusional....

George Bush met with some Democratic leaders on Friday to review the recommendations of the ISG report and discuss the way forward in Iraq. However, they report back that he wasn't too interested in talking about this.

Instead, Bush began his talk by comparing himself to President Harry S Truman, who launched the Truman Doctrine to fight communism, got bogged down in the Korean War and left office unpopular.

Bush said that "in years to come they realized he was right and then his doctrine became the standard for America," recalled Senate Majority Whip-elect Richard Durbin, D-Ill. "He's trying to position himself in history and to justify those who continue to stand by him, saying sometimes if you're right you're unpopular, and be prepared for criticism."

Durbin said he challenged Bush's analogy, reminding him that Truman had the NATO alliance behind him and negotiated with his enemies at the United Nations. Durbin said that's what the Iraq Study Group is recommending that Bush do now — work more with allies and negotiate with adversaries on Iraq.

Bush, Durbin said, "reacted very strongly. He got very animated in his response" and emphasized that he is "the commander in chief."

Ah'm the Decider, dammit! Me!

McKinney introduces bill to impeach Bush
Outgoing Georgia Rep. Cynthia McKinney introduced a bill Friday to impeach Preznit Disastermonkey.

The legislation has no chance of passing and serves as a symbolic parting shot not only at Bush but also at weak-kneed pussy-assed Democratic leaders. Incoming House Speaker and total buzzkill Nancy Pelosi has made clear that she will not entertain proposals to sanction Bush and has warned her party against making political hay of impeachment.

In introducing her legislation in the final hours of the current Congress, McKinney said Bush had violated his oath of office to defend the Constitution and the nation's laws.

In the bill, she accused Bush of misleading Congress on the war in Iraq and violating privacy laws with his domestic spying program.

Good for her. Even if it doesn't work, it'll still make the little fucker and his minders sweat bullets.

Sore losers deposit trail of slime as they leave in disgrace
The party of integrity and personal responsibility goes out in a snit, blaming their do-nothing incompetence on the Dems. You know, the party that hasn't been in the majority lo these many years.

"House Democrats have spent every waking moment of the past Congress obstructing any effort towards progress," said an obviously wasted spokesman for John Boehner, R-Naturally. "They have tried to blow up the tracks on immigration reform, tax relief, earmark reform, you name it.

The spokesman, a spurious douchebag and chronic masturbator added, "And now in the last few days of this Congress where they have a chance to help make progress, they decide instead to abdicate their responsibilities and play the blame game. Just goes to show they're a party of zero ideas and zero action."

Nyyyehhhh! Phththth!

Geez, look who's talking, LOSER.

Update: Republican rep Kingston: "[W]e didn't perform. When we were up here we were naming bridges and post offices. We were not having quality time again… We drifted, we got off our agenda. We came up here and some weeks we just twiddled our thumbs and that's what killed us…"

The accidental president
The Bush legacy...

This president has lost all capacity to lead. Eleven American servicemen died in Iraq on the day Bush was presented the [Iraq Study Group] report, which calls the situation there “grave and deteriorating.” Events on the ground threaten to overtake even this grim assessment. And we’re left to analyze Bush’s tender ego and whether he can reverse course on the folly that is killing and maiming countless Iraqis along with U.S. troops. Historians are already debating whether Bush is the worst president ever, or just among the four or five worst.

- Eleanor Clift.

Yore either with us or against us!
Bush's Saudi buddies are donating millions of dollars to Iraq. To Sunni insurgents. To buy weapons.

Has CNN stopped drinking the Kool-Aid?
Or is Suzanne Malveaux just on the rag? Whatever it is, it's pretty cool.

"President Stupie vonFuckface and his closest ally, Tony 'Piddles' Blair, have stood shoulder to shoulder - or, as some have characterized it, 'dick to ass' - on the Iraq war since the very beginning. Critics calling Mr. Bush 'the cowboy' for stubbornly leading the charge, and Mr. Blair 'the poodle' for obediently rolling and taking it up the pooper. But three years since the U.S. invasion, the two are still adamant their Iraq mission is sound. President Chokie McChimp didn't just drink the Kool-Aid, he made it. But perhaps now it's a little less sweet. Good."

- From today's "America-hater Morning" (mostly).

More great moments in presidental speechificatatudeness

"I also believe we're going to succeed. I believe we'll prevail. Not only do I know how important it is to prevail, I believe we will prevail. I understand how hard it is to prevail. But I also want the American people to understand that if we were to fail -- and one way to assure failure is just to quit, is not to adjust, and say it's just not worth it -- if we were to fail, that failed policy will come to hurt generations of Americans in the future."

Prevailitude!

An.. an.. an' it had big words'n everything!
Smarty "I talk to families who die" McGeniusson on the ISG report:

"Some reports are issued and just gather dust. And truth of the matter is, a lot of reports in Washington are never read by anybody. To show you how important this one is, I read it."

Just like one of the big kids!

Fucking dumbasses
War president, media lapdogs laugh about the increasing carnage in Iraq -

Q: Mr. President, the Iraq Study Group described the situation in Iraq as “grave and deteriorating.” You said that the increase in attacks is “unsettling.” That won’t convince many people that you’re still in denial about how bad things are in Iraq, and question your sincerity about changing course.

Awol McAsshole: It’s bad in Iraq. (extremely long pause) Does that help? (Laughter.)

What... a... kneeslapper.

Reasons to be cheerful
Mwwaaaaaa!

It has not been a pretty sight on Capitol Hill in the waning hours of Republican control. Once-powerful lawmakers have been shown the door at their own offices, forced to crowd in a basement or other nooks to finish their work, if not their careers.

Happy Democrats are trying not to gloat too much, although their giddiness is not always well concealed. Witness Sen. Charles Schumer, the Senate Democrats' campaign chief, strolling onto the floor with a gleeful call to a colleague and both fists pumped in the air.

Suck it, pukes!

We told you so
Paul Krugman (paraphrased): Shortly after US forces marched into Baghdad in 2003, the Weekly Standard published a jeering article titled, “The Cassandra Chronicles: The stupidity of the antiwar doomsayers.”

Those who warned against invading Iraq were, at best, ignored. At worst, those who were skeptical about the case for war had their patriotism and/or their sanity questioned. Well, the worm has turned, and who's laughing now, you fucking mindsplats? Huh? Who's stupid now? Oh, that's right: it's you.

Former detainees attempt to bring suit against Rumsfeld, others, for torturing

In Federal court today, nine former prisoners will seek to hold Rumsfeld and other American military officials accountable for their treatment while detained. Rumsfeld's lawyers are expected to respond that

. . . he cannot be held legally responsible because anything he may have done -- including authorizing harsh interrogations at the Abu Ghraib and Bagram detention facilities -- was within the scope of his job as defense secretary to combat terrorists and prevent future attacks.

That kind of shit didn't fly at Nuremberg, and in any reasonable facsimile of a justice system, it won't fly now.

--dg

I hate whiny grade-grubbers

"A lot of reports in Washington are never read by anybody," Bush said. "To show you how important this one is, I read it."

Could Smirky McFratboy be more of an adolescent? He reminds me of students I've had who have dicked around all semester, and then frantically try to save their grade by doing, in a token, useless fashion, what they should have been doing all along.

Another tactic used by lazy students: being "straightforward." "I know I've screwed up bad," they say, with a puppydog look. "Yep," I say cheerfully.

And it's too damn late to do anything about it, so take the D-minus and leave before I get pissed off.

--dg













"She says it should have been an F, but she was afraid you'd show up in her class again."

Charity begins when they see your lily-white face

The Right Reverend Rabbi Judah has a worthy cause for you to support this holiday season. Seems the so-called Aryan Nation is collecting toys to send to other pale, blue-eyed youngsters for Christmas. They suggest that you wrap the gifts, which is crucial to the Right Reverend's plan to generously donate dreidels, African-American Barbies, copies of "Heather Has Two Mommies," and other nifty presents. There are more links to gift suggestions on his site!

--dg

(link and pic via Princess Sparkle Pony)




















(Click for larger and funnier. Hee.)

I see. . . stupid people.

Make no mistake about it, I understand how tough it is, sir. I talk to families who die. I understand there's sectarian violence.

--Pretzelnit McWeegeeboard, after his meeting with Tony Blair yesterday

dg

(link via Wonkette)












"Yikes! Guess somebody forgot his Haldol!"

What, no pudding??

So - how do you really feel?
You gotta love the NY comPost - today's cover:


Oh, btw, guys, 11 US soldiers have been killed in Iraq in one day.
*****

Mixed reaction to Cheney's unmarried gay daughter's pregnancy
"Mary Cheney announces plans to bring a fatherless child into a godforsaken, sodomistic abomination of a relationship that is threatening American society as we know it." - headline on teh intarwebs.

Conservative leaders voiced dismay Wednesday at news that Mary Cheney, the lesbian daughter of Dick Cheney, is pregnant, while a gay-rights group said the vice president faces "a lifetime of sleepless nights" for serving in a bigoted, hateful misadministration, sleeping with harpy wife Lynne Cheney.

News that Mr Cheney's gay daughter is pregnant has touched a raw nerve as advocates for conservative family values struggle to reconcile their loyalty to the Cheneys with their visceral opposition to same-sex relationships - and particularly to raising a child without a father.

Carrie Gordon Earll of the conservative Christian ministry Focus on the Family expressed empathy for the Cheney family but depicted the pregnancy as "unwise."

Janice Crouse of the conservative group Concerned Women for America described the pregnancy as "unconscionable," but refused to damn them to Hell.

"Next one who says anything gets it."
****

They're just a buncha commas...
Unbelievable. To actually see it in print, I mean -

The Bush misadministration routinely has underreported fuck that, lied lied LIED about the level of violence in Iraq in order to disguise its policy failings, the Iraq Study Group report said Wednesday.

The bipartisan group called on the Pentagon and the director of the U.S. intelligence community to immediately institute a new reporting system that provides "a more accurate picture of events on the ground."

The finding bolsters allegations by Democratic lawmakers and other critics that the Bush misadministration has withheld or misconstrued intelligence that conflicted with its Iraq policy while promoting data and claims that supported its positions.

And this after months - hell, years - of the WH and their asslicking toadies in the media calling us all liars. Is CNN covering this yet? I doubt it.

Worst... disaster... ever
Hero/patriot Al Gore on Iraq:

[T]his is an utter disaster. This was the worst strategic mistake in the entire history of the United States and now we as a nation have to find a way, in George Mitchell’s words—"to manage a disaster." but I would urge the president not to try to separate out the personal issues of being blamed in history for this mistake and instead recognize it’s not about him. It’s about our country and we all have to find a way to get our troops home and to prevent a regional conflagration there.

A little seasonal music
Eric Cartman sings 'O Holy Night'

Rethugs: 5-day work weeks are for peasants!
Dems are trying to "project a businesslike image" rather than sticking with the repuds' do-nothing late-Tuesday-to-Thursday-afternoon schedule -- and republican'ts are furious.

"Keeping us up here eats away at families," said Rep. Jack Kingston (R-Jerkhole), who typically flies home on Thursdays and returns to Washington on Tuesdays. "Marriages suffer. The Democrats could care less about families -- that's what this says."

Hey, if you don't like it, quit. It's that easy.

Panel: Try diplomacy in Iraq, then leave
No, really, that's the headline. Sort of like hey baby, thanks for the f***. You were great. I'm outta here.

The US is facing a "grave and deteriorating" situation in Iraq, the Baker panel told Awol McDumbass today, warning that if the situation continues to deteriorate, there is a risk of a "slide toward chaos that could trigger the collapse of Iraq's government and a humanitarian catastrophe."

"Neighboring countries could intervene. .... The global standing of the United States could be diminished. Americans could become more polarized."

Bush said the report "gives a very tough assessment of the situation in Iraq. It is a report that brings some really very interesting proposals, and we will take every proposal seriously and we will act in a timely fashion."

In other words, OK, you covered your ass, now get out.

Repug morality and the sanctity of marriage
Securing America’s values...

Mary Cheney, the vice president's openly gay gay gay daughter whose homosexual acts are a class of deviant sexual behavior that is antithetical to a healthy, stable, traditional family, is pregnant.

She and her partner of 15 years, Heather Poe, are "ecstatic" about the baby, due in late spring, said a source close to the couple.

"The vice president and Mrs. Cheney are looking forward with eager anticipation to the arrival of their sixth grandchild," spokesman Lea Anne McBride said last night.

Marriage is for our society that union between a man and a woman, the cornerstone of our society. It is under attack today. What's next, man-on-child or man-on-dog sex? Will no one think of the children?????

Poppy Bush cries as he talks about his son
No, the other, slightly smarter one.

Former president George H.W. Bush broke down in tears as he cited his son, Gov. Jeb Bush, as an example of leadership.

"He didn't whine about it. He didn't complain," the former president said before choking up. As he tried to continue, he let out a sob and put a handkerchief to his face. When he spoke again, his words were broken up by pauses as he tried to regain composure.

"A true measure of a man ..." Bush said before again sobbing.

LOL. Wimp. I'll give him something to cry about: his other spawn, Chimpy the Stupid, and what he's done to this country. Though it's more likely to give him a screaming bloody embolism.


Gah!! Who really wears the pants in that family.
****

That's what I want to hear!
Incoming chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee Patrick Leahy: "Bush shouldn't be worried. He should be terrified."

Who're yuh gonna believe, me or an unpatriotic defeatocratislamofascist terrist appea...
D'oh!

10/25/06:
Reporter: "Are we winning [in Iraq]?"
President Stupid: "Absolutely, we’re winning."

12/05/06:
Incoming Armed Services Committee Chairman Carl Levin: "Do you believe that we’re currently winning in Iraq?”
Bunnypants' Defense Secretary-nominee Robert Gates: “No, sir. No. No... fucking... way."

Testicles: own a pair today!
Hero/patriot Paul "brass ones" Krugman bemoans the lack of ... ahem... members... in the Huge Swinging Meatbag Society.

We need people in Washington who are willing to stand up to the bully in chief. Unfortunately, and somewhat mysteriously, they’re still in short supply.

You can understand, if not condone, the way the political and media establishment let itself be browbeaten by Mr. Bush in his post-9/11 political prime. What’s amazing is the extent to which insiders still cringe before a lame duck with a 60 percent disapproval rating....

Well, here’s a question for those who might be tempted, yet again, to shy away from a confrontation with Mr. Bush over Iraq: What the holy fuck is your problem????? How do you ask a man to be the last to die for a bully’s ego?

Preznit Pissant an uncaring, unfeeling assclown
Napoleonic, strutting jerkwad is the Decider, not the Listener-to-er.

The classless, moronic boor - who was specifically briefed beforehand - ignored advice to be extra sensitive when talking to Jim Webb about his son, facing certain death in the Iraq war.

Bush was told that Webb’s son had a recent brush with death in Iraq and was warned to be “extra sensitive” when talking to the Senator-elect.

He could have been sympathetic and gracious. Instead, he decided to be a dick. Why does he hate our troops?


"Why the hell should I care? My kids're partying in Argentina."
****

Petulant pissant: Poppy's not preznit, I am
Decider: ah'm the commanderer! Me!

Asked to comment on the widespread view that his father's influence was coming to bear on his administration, Snippy the Chimp insisted: "I am the commander-in-chief."

"Me me me! Ah kin do it all by muhself!"

Heh
Last night on CNN...

WOLF BLITZER: Meanwhile, we're learning of the news that the White House says took President Bush by surprise. The US ambassador to the UN, [no-talent assclown] John Bolton, is resigning. The White House announced he handed in his resignation Friday and that the president was surprised, but accepted it reluctantly.

JACK CAFFERTY: He said he was surprised. How could he be surprised? It was made clear the day after the election his nomination was dead in the water.

BLITZER: He says he was surprised.

CAFFERTY: Fuck that.

Well, not exactly. But the look on Jack's face and the accompanying snort were priceless.


How can this guy see anything coming? If his eyes were any closer together he'd be a cyclops.
*****

Douchebag of liberty whines about something
Incontinent traitor Bob Novak: change my colostomy bag before I shove this cane up your ass, dammit. Damn kids.

Sen. Harry Reid, leading the Senate's new Democratic majority, is framing next year's schedule in a way that will make it difficult, if not impossible, for President Bush to give recess appointments to judicial nominees blocked for confirmation.

Reid's schedule limits Senate recesses to one week. Recess appointments usually are made only when Congress has been out of session for at least 10 days. That may kill any consideration of trying to seat federal appeals court judges whose nominations had been stalled even in the Republican-controlled Senate. I think I pissed myself, dammit. Nurse, where's my hippo? Who are you?

Brainless putz's choice for UN ambassador cuts and runs
Petulant Preznit Privilege has hissyfit when Senate refuses to waste time holding hearings for abusive, undiplomatic bully.

Unable to win Senate confirmation, no-talent assclown John Bolton will step down when his temporary appointment expires.

In a statement, Snippy the Chimp blamed the Senate, saying he was "deeply disappointed that a handful of United States senators prevented Ambassador Bolton from receiving the up or down vote he deserved."

"They chose to obstruct his confirmation, even though he enjoys majority support in the Senate. {Both Democrats and Republicans blocked his nomination. Idiot - Ed.} This stubborn obstructionism ill serves our country," the Uniter pouted.

While Bush could not sneak Bolton in using another recess appointment, the White House was believed to be exploring other ways of keeping him in the job, perhaps by giving him a title other than ambassador. But Bolton informed the White House he intended to leave when his current appointment expires.

Next: Bolton receives medal of honor.


"How bout if ah hold muh breath until ah turn blue? That'll fix 'em!"
******

It's a wonder how they can narrow it down every week
Gay-bashing, pedophilia, religious extremism, bigotry, hypocrisy, asshattery... all that and more in the new top 10 conservative idiots.

That's no moon...
Boy, this can only end badly.

The conservative media site Jerking Off In My Parents' Basement is claiming that the Bush misdministration will ask Congress to fund development of an "orbital battle station."


"Fear will keep the Senate in line." - Darth Cheney (click to enlarge).
*****

Wtf???
Don Rumsfeld, one of the architects of the bloody fiasco in Iraq, has been awarded the Gold Medal by the prestigious Union Club in Philadelphia, at an event shrouded in secrecy. Yeah, I'd be embarrassed too.

Officials at the selective private club presented its Gold Medal to Rumsfeld at a black-tie affair on Friday night, but would not discuss the reason behind the award.

"My family is traditional Republican, and they are sick about the Union League giving Rumsfeld a medal," said protester Elizabeth Doering, whose grandfather and father were longtime club members. "It's such a crass gesture."

Club member James A. Ounsworth told the paper that he was "astonished and ashamed" because "Rumsfeld is a failure. I don't think you should give an award for failure."

Not.
*****

Oh good!
That ought to be very helpful! {head in hands...} Airhead McBlunder is open to Rumsfeld's ideas about Iraq strategery, such as "taking our hand off the cycle seat," say advisors.

Yes, that very same Rumsfeld.


Doin' a heckuva job!
******

Not for the easily offended
Mr Garrison sings one of the best. Christmas songs. Evar:

Dereliction of duty
Why 'journalists' and the Washington press corpse are quickly losing their relevance.

Mainstream-media political journalism is in danger of becoming increasingly irrelevant, but not because of the internet, or even Comedy Central. The threat comes from inside. It comes from journalists still taking it up the ass... uh, sorry... being afraid to do what journalists were put on this green earth to do.

What is it about Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert that makes them so refreshing and attractive to a wide variety of viewers (including those so-important younger ones)? I would argue that, more than anything else, it is that they enthusiastically call bullshit.

While the MSM is happily doing face-plants in the presidential pudenta.

One thing our media never acknowledges is that conservative pundits play under a total separate set of rules than liberal pundits. Specifically, conservative pundits are generally indistinguishable from political operatives. They aren't just writing interesting columns about things they're interested in, they're advancing an agenda, which includes electing Republicans, often with little or no regard for truth. If they can get away with it, and they frequently do, they'll just make stuff up and lie.

No pandering here
Unless you're George Will.

Eleanor Clift: Senator-elect Jim Webb showed almost superhuman restraint in replying to Awol McAsshat. He could have asked how the drunken Bush whore-twins are doing, partying their way across Argentina, while his son was thisclose to being blown up in Iraq.

A president snubbed by a junior senator-elect and then, more tellingly by the puppet prime minister in Iraq, should be wondering where he went wrong, not the other way around.

It’s justice long overdue for a president who has so abused the symbols of war to get his comeuppance from a battlefield hero who personifies real toughness as opposed to fake toughness. Bush struts around with this bullying frat-boy attitude, and he gets away with it because nobody stands up to him.

Heh - maybe Webb should've closed the conversation with "go fuck yourself." That seems to be the language Chimpy and his keepers understand.

Goodbye, my sweet kitten
We just got back from the vet. Jaffa had kidney failure and had to be put to sleep.

The best Christmas lights display evar
Quality could be better, but it's still pretty cool -

Worst president ever
The Bush legacy. Eat it, fuckwit.

Nixon is mostly associated today with disdain for the Constitution and abuse of presidential power. Obsessed with secrecy and media leaks, he viewed every critic as a threat to national security and illegally spied on U.S. citizens. Nixon considered himself above the law.

Bush has taken this disdain for law even further. He has sought to strip people accused of crimes of rights that date as far back as the Magna Carta in Anglo-American jurisprudence: trial by impartial jury, access to lawyers and knowledge of evidence against them. In dozens of statements when signing legislation, he has asserted the right to ignore the parts of laws with which he disagrees. His administration has adopted policies regarding the treatment of prisoners of war that have disgraced the nation and alienated virtually the entire world. Usually, during wartime, the Supreme Court has refrained from passing judgment on presidential actions related to national defense. The court's unprecedented rebukes of Bush's policies on detainees indicate how far the administration has strayed from the rule of law.

Historians are loath to predict the future. It is impossible to say with certainty how Bush will be ranked in, say, 2050. But somehow, in his first six years in office he has managed to combine the lapses of leadership, misguided policies and abuse of power of his failed predecessors. I think there is no alternative but to rank him as the worst president in U.S. history.

- via Blah3.

Crap. Crap crap crap
My dear cat Jaffa has an emergency appointment at the vet today. He had been diagnosed with a malformed kidney a while back and with special food and supplements he was getting better. Then all of a sudden he stopped eating and even drinking. He even smells funny. I don't know what the vet can do for him at this point - put him on IV fluids? Gah.

Yeah, baby
The Saturday 'toons and a royal bitchslapping of a true pompous poseur, at Bob Geiger.com. Dude!

Spanky McStupid: no big changes in Iraq, no matter what the panel advises
"Ah'm th' war preznit! Ah've decided! We hafta stay th' course!"

With the Iraq Study Group report due on Wednesday, the Bush misadministration has notified allies that it will not budge on certain aspects of Iraq policy, whatever recommendations are put forth by the independent panel of 10 Republicans and Democrats.

In a further indication that the White House may be digging in its heels, US officials told diplomats that the Idiot-in-Chief looks forward to seeing the Iraq Study Group report, but they stressed that he will have the last word on what happens next and will not succumb to outside pressure, the sources said.

"You can't tell me what to do! It's mah war! Mine! Mine mine mine mine mine!"

Clueless jerk. It's a wonder his old man just doesn't throw up his hands and write the petulant little fuckwit off at this point.

Yay!
Congratulations to our good friend Monkeyfister, who after months of frustrating drawn-out bullshit, is finally on his way to owning his dream property!

The assho arsonist at the microphone
Hero/patriot Keith Olbermann responds to America-hating amphibian Newt Gingrich’s comments about free speech.

We're back
We were off-line yesterday due to the high winds, which blew down a lot of the lines around here. Thankfully we were spared the worst of it - we were surrounded by severe thunderstorm and tornado warnings, but only lost power for a little while. The cats were totally psycho most of the evening, though.

Here's another tie. Ho ho ho
Is anybody else getting royally cheesed off at those commercials where people perkily go out and buy their loved ones a fucking Lexus or a goddamn 82" plasma tv for Christmas like they're just stopping off at the grocery store to pick up a bag of fucking peanuts? Bah.




I would pay to see one where the husband stands outside in the driveway with a big red bow tied around his d***, for once.