Pic from flickr.

Cunt Tree First!!!

Headline of day, not from Fark or the Onion:

BREAKING: NY-20: Tedisco Preps for Loss, Files Motion to Overturn Election Results Before Polls Even Close

Realizing they couldn't steal it, the anal and hemorrhoidal byproduct of a political party known as Rushpublibots, while emulating Norm Coleman, have added a new play to their playbook. Or is that Goldman? It depends.
More coming soon, to an election near you!

Shitstain Called out on Bullshit

While appearing at a rally opposing The Employee Free Choice Act, non-union and unlicensed shit unclogger, "exemplary blue-collar working man" Joe Wurzelbacher faces booing, catcalls and is rightfully labelled Joe the imposter by REAL exemplary blue-collar working plumbers.
Karma certainly is a bitch, isn't it?

He's Failing!!!!11!!

Bwah!! It appears that most non deluded, independently thinking people aren't buying the Wingnut Bullshit.

The number of Americans who believe that the nation is headed in the right direction has roughly tripled since Barack Obama's election, and the public overwhelmingly blames the excesses of the financial industry, rather than the new president, for turmoil in the economy, according to a new Washington Post-ABC News poll.

Bbbbbbut Lush Bimbo!!

Journamalismatude

After sneakily splicing out 15 seconds from the middle of an ad critical of Satan's porcine handmaiden, Chris Wallace and Karl Rove just sit around playing with themselves, though Rove does call Chris a tool.

Wallace spliced out 15 seconds from the middle of the ad without disclosing or indicating that it had been edited. Wallace and Rove then went on to discuss the ad as if they had just played the full thing, even though some of the toughest criticism of Rove (including the firing of U.S. attorneys and the outing of a CIA agent) had been removed from the ad they aired.

[B]y treating it as if it were the full actual ad Wallace violated every journalistic principle that there is, which should serve as a reminder that nothing on Fox is real journalism. It’s all conservative propaganda.

-- from dKos, with a h/t to the Duh! Institute and the NE chapter of the Center for the Blatantly Apparent.

Video here. Warning: contains the corpulent antichrist's hideous gob.

Yeah, I went there

Now I feel covered in stanky trog-smeg. Brrrrrrrrrr. Yuck. Blehhchhhch.

"Welcome to FOX Nation, a new community where all Americans are encouraged to share, discuss, and debate. Yes, FOX Nation is here for you, the American people: your views, your values, your voice."

American values, huh? A representative sample from the home page:

"Is Obama Too Bright To Be President?"

"Here’s to a One-Term President Obama"

"The Left Eating Its Own"

"GOP vows WWIII over Stuart Smalley"

"Drive-by media bites the dust"

"A dangerous duo," under a pic of Chris Dodd and Barney Frank

Gee, I could have SWORN their slogan was "it's time to say 'no' to biased media and 'yes' to fair play." More:

"Easter Bunnies in PETA crosshairs" {Why does PETA hate Jeebus?? -- Ed.}

"Survey: Kiwi girls world's most promiscuous"

And in HUUUUGE text with pic:

"GIRLS GONE WILD: Nightclub: Girls Gone Wild flashing 1st amendment right"

Why does America hate America?

They fell for it!

The nutbars are laughing themselves silly that thanks to the WH's 'assault' on asshole Rush Limpbaugh, he's drawn lots more listeners. Fuckwits. That's just what we wanted to happen. Either a large influx of megaditto-droolers will lead to a showdown with the more centrist republican voters in the next election -- where both will end up cancelling each other out in a matter/antimatter-type of annihilation -- or the new and the curious will be so repulsed they'll flee the party in droves.

Mwwwahahahaha. Excellent.

Teabagger fail of the day

From C&L: some incompetent conservatard moran misspells her protest sign:

The poetry of Glenn Beck

I don't know... What rhymes with "wharrgarbl"?

"Vogon poetry is less offensive." -- commenter Diogenes.

Every day the Fox News pundit feels the pain and suffering of average Americans mouthbreathing mental midgets. Now it's time to experience his free verse.

Like "It's time to believe in something. Even if it's wrong." Which should be the new slogan for his show.

Serenity now!

NASA's "outreach to the public to drum up interest in the International Space Station" succeeded beyond their wildest dreams. So wtf is their problem?

NASA in Colbert conundrum over Space Station.

Stephen Colbert supporters cast 230,539 write-in votes to name the new living module at the $100-billion space outpost "Colbert." The top NASA-suggested name, "Serenity," finished a distant second, more than 40,000 votes behind. Now the agency's panties are in a bunch.

'Wehhhhh! You don't like our pathetic, sanitary-napkin-brand name! Tough poopies! We're gonna call it that anyway!'

Why does NASA hate America?

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Space Module: Colbert - Democracy in Orbit
comedycentral.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor NASA Name Contest

Bipartisanshipnitudeness

prospectmag: "[F]ew expected the wheels to come off the new administration so quickly. Just weeks into its existence, the Obama White House is in trouble."

thenewmediajournal: "After only two months of the Obama presidency, Americans are horrified, angry, depressed, and on the verge of full-scale revolt against the president and his toadying Socialist acolytes for doing their best to destroy our once-vibrant economy, inflict decades of debt on our children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, and usher in what historians will surely record as The Age of The Hubristic and Incompetent Presidency. This assessment is borne out by polls, man-and-woman-in-the-street interviews."

Reality: You're fucking retards, both of you.

GOP Senator: stimulus working already

U.S. consumer spending, confidence edges up.

Investors Business Daily: the Obama rally begins.

U.S. voters don't blame Obama for economy, blame "Dumbass McBrushclearer" as one fark headline writer put it.

Scared Cheney puts his head in the noose

Closer... closer... Oh please oh please oh please oh please...

Dick Cheney fears being held to account on torture and is lashing out.

How does he possibly think that'll help?

My guess is that he fears he is in trouble. Obama has declined to launch a prosecution of Cheney for war crimes, as many in his party (and outside it) would like. He has set up a review of detention, rendition and interrogation policies. And he has simply declassified many of the infamous torture memos kept under wraps by Bush.

But as the memos have emerged, the awful truth of what Cheney actually authorised becomes harder and harder to deny. And Cheney is desperately trying to maintain a grip on the narrative before it grips him by the throat.

The threat, however subtle, is real... Newsweek described the yet to be released memos thus: “One senior Obama official . . . said the memos were ‘ugly’ and could embarrass the CIA. Other officials predicted they would fuel demands for a ‘truth commission’ on torture.”

The narrative that has taken shape since Cheney left office and lost the chance to stonewall inquiries is damning to the former vice-president.

Mwwwwahahahaha.... Much more here.

Syphilitic tranny hammered by evangelitards

And not in a good way, either. At least not for her him it.

Conservatives fighting: mAnn Coulter bushwacked on radio by conservative Christian abortion foes.

The herpes-ridden posterfrau of the frothing right pisses off ... the frothing right. I am just loving this.

Ultra-conservative Christian talk-radio hosts are taking a new approach to get their message out — ambushing right-wing pundit Ann Coulter for supporting 2008 GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney. Absolutist anti-abortion activists accuse Romney of being “willing to sacrifice children for your vote.”

The Denver-based American Right to Life Action leads the charge against Coulter with a YouTube video that shows excerpts of Coulter’s on-air radio freak-outs and calls on the acid-tongued he-bitch to apologize and retract her support for Romney.
In typical Coulter fashion, [the oozing pus-hole] calls the critics “crazy Romney froofers,” “fanatics” and “on the order of 9-11 conspiracy theorists” before hanging up.

Is that what good Christians call "turning the other cheek"? Because if it is I'm confused.
/not

Wehhhhhhh!

Fox Noise launches website to encourage WATB blamestorming "venting."

Fux's new 'Facebook'-styled site, Fox Nation's slogan is "It's Time to Say NO to Biased Media and Say YES to Fair Play and Free Speech." Because listening to Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck, Bill O'Reilly, Karl Rove, Mike Huckabee, et al, 24/7 is just not enough.

"We felt that giving people a real destination to go and express themselves would give them a feeling of belonging," says Senior Vice President Joel Cheatwood. "People feel they're dictated to a lot by the media."

Fox is beefing up its conservative ranks, recently hiring National Review's doughy pantload Jonah Goldberg.

Sigh. They should think of changing their slogan to "All Hatred -- All the Time!"

No thanks, I find them rather gristly

While this pic (from here) reaches the 'ZOMG cute!' level, I can't help thinking it looks like one of those restaurant pick-your-own-lobster-dinner! displays.

Conservatard idiots

EarlG comments on the rebooblican economic plan for mockery recovery. Bonus: more charts!

No, I'm a better Christian than you, asshole!!!

The latest reality TV spectacular, The X-Tards!, will chronicle the megabattle to the death between Newt Gingrich, Sarah Palin, and Piyush Jindal on who will be the rightwingnut/evangelical-base candidate for 2012.

When the world's supposed to come to an end anyway.

Coincidence? I wonder.

The gift that keeps on giving

This is like watching a train wreck in slow-motion!

A seemingly unending series of public relations gaffes has Sarah Palin loyalists frustrated and worried she is "diminishing" her "stature."

Quotations mine. Hell, even the man who picked her to be his vice president seems to be backing off.

Palin has endured numerous bruising trips through recent news cycles.

There was the infamous YouTube turkey video in November where, unbeknownst to Palin, live turkeys were slaughtered just behind her within the camera frame.

LOL. Good times. That was so awesome. Ladies and gentleman, the infamous Sarah Palin Turkey Massacre of 2008:

It's good to be the king.

Undie Lib Economic Crisis

Amid all the shitty economic news we have been seeing, hearing and experiencing lately, it's not all bad here at the new Liberal Manor. I just completed a 60 hour week. Yessiree, 20 hours of sweet, premium, time and a half pay, which is almost what I'm worth. While many people all across the land are unemployed or working four days a week, I'm pulling down some serious coin lately. I feel very fortunate.

Here's the funny thing. Guess what I do for a living? Nope I don't deal drugs and I'm not a pimp. I am a Manufacturing supervisor. For an automotive supplier. In Michigan. Hard to believe isn't it?
70% of our business is with Ford as the sole supplier of valves for their new six speed transmission, and apparently they are selling quite a few of them. Having recently become a very single guy, living on my own, the extra money is coming in quite handy.
After a few more paychecks like I have been getting. I'll be able to afford to sweep Maru off here pretty little feet, marry her, have a few little Maru Libs, and live snarkily happy ever after......again.
We were soulmates in a past life or two.
BTW, you will all be invited.
I hope you have a great weekend.

No poniez?

More about the Gpukes' unicorns-and-bluebirds happy fun budget:

While reporters hooted at the comically simplistic charts and lack of details in the House Republican leadership’s budget plan, the green eyeshade types at Citizens for Tax Justice crunched the numbers. They conclude that a quarter of all households, most of them poor, would pay more taxes under the GOP plan, while the richest one percent would pay $100,000 less.

Pic from here.

A romp through the Republican ... budget?

I'm still half-asleep, but this caught my eye this morning. Here's a snip from a piece by PM Carpenter in response to their tone-deaf, hysterical presentation yesterday:

What difference would numbers have made? I mean, just how does one quantify, "We haven't a bloody clue"? How does one numerically characterize, "Jesus, this just dawned on us -- We can't believe we fell for this trick"? Just how, in heaven's name, can one slap a cold, impersonal figure on the red-faced human realization, "Oops, we're more stunningly hapless than we -- even you -- thought"?

I'll also offer Republicans a little sincere advice: Go away. Just go away for a long, long while. Grab whatever cash you have in the RNC account and hasten thee to a faraway exotic spa, or go on a year-long drunk, or simply hide yourselves at home, shutter the blinds, and shut the f*ck up.

It's not your critics doing you harm. It's you and your non-budgeting budgets which advocate spending freezes during a deep freeze. It's Dick Cheney running around defending torture and denouncing social progress. It's Sarah Palin babbling about deficiently prayerful McCainites. It's your Cantors and Pences and Boehners looking and sounding so insufferably goofy. It's Michael Steele strategizing with God but genuflecting before Rush. For those fond of reifying brevity, it can even be just two words: Michele Bachmann.

Come on, boys. Give it a merciful rest.

Amen to that.

Pic from here!

Perspective

Quote of the day, from Paul Begala, on CNN,

The Republicans are like an arsonist who complains that the fire department is wasting water... Unless and until they do offer an alternative, they really have no right to whine about the president. For now at least, GOP stands for Got 0 Plans.

Hold me, I think I just c-c-ccuuuu......good nite.

Coming Soon!

The brand new, shiny, party of yes, pro America Republican “budget”:











Maru has a cool chart like this below

PSM

Mark at the Aristocrats summarizes the GOP budget proposal-- almost half of which seems to be cover pages -- in all its glorious fail. Kudos, my friend.

Oh God, not again

Never underestimate the stupidity of the American peo conservatard.

Bonus:

Rethugs unmercilessly mocked for their doofy photo-op

"It looks like they're building a budget molecule!"

Budget "outline" written on Post-it note generates mirth, scorn from media:

Reporters -- mainstream, liberal and conservative -- greeted the Republican document with a collective scoff.

"Are you going to have any further details on this today?" the first asked.

"On what?" asked the tiny-bonered... ummm, minority leader John Boehner.

"The... fark... ing... bu... dget," the reporter replied slowly.

"There's no detail in here," noted another.

Answered Boehner: "This is a blueprint for where we're going. Are you asking about some other document?"

"Yeah, the one regarding YOUR MOM," replied the questioner, exasperated.

A second reporter followed up: "What about some numbers? What about the out-year deficit? What about balancing the budget? How are you going to do it?"

"We'll have the alternative budget details next week," promised Boehner.

"Well, what the holy fuck is taking you so long?" replied the St Pulchritude Herald-Times.

A third reporter, noting President Obama aimed to cut the deficit in five years, asked Boehner, "What's your goal?"

"To do better," said Boehner.

"How? How much?"

"You'll see next week."

"Wait. Why not today? Because he asked you to present a budget."

"Now, hold on," said Boehner. "The president came to Capitol Hill and laid out his blueprint for his budget during the State of the Union. He didn't offer his details until days later."

"In general, where do you see cuts coming?" the Huffington Post asked.

"We'll wait and see next week," he said.

Another reporter reminded Boehner that he has "criticized Democrats for throwing together a stimulus quickly and nobody knew what they were voting on. Are you saying that your budget will be unveiled on the same day that the House is expected to vote on it?"

"No, I expect it'll be out next week," he said, though the House is expected to vote on the budget next week. "But understand that a budget really is a one-page document. It's just a bunch of numbers."

While it was thin on specifics, it does include one major policy proposal: a huge tax cut for the wealthy.

(Parts slightly rephrased for clarity)

OMFG. The whole flailathon was so fucked up it made even other conservatives unhappy:

Also, this episode could end up creating a rift in the GOP over how to combat the Obama White House. After all, Senate Republicans wanted nothing to do with an alternative, and now Mitch McConnell, et al are either laughing at their House GOP colleagues, furious at them, or both.

Mwwwahahahahahaha. Update: rethugs say they will release actual numbers sometime next Wednesday.

April Fool's Day.


Pic from here!

Palin: McCain's presidential campaign staff was unworthy of being prayed with

Infidels had cooties, explains holier-than-thou nincompoop.

Later in the speech, she told a story about praying for strength before last October's Vice Presidential debate with Joe Biden:

"So I'm looking around for somebody to pray with, I just need maybe a little help, maybe a little extra," she said. "And the McCain campaign, love 'em, you know, they're a lot of people around me, but nobody I could find that I wanted to hold hands with and pray."

She couldn't find anyone up to her standards to pray with. What would Jesus say?????

As the crowd laughed, Palin grinned and said she meant no disrespect to the McCain campaign. She said she ultimately prayed with her daughter Piper.

Annnnnnnnnd the comeback...

McCain camp attacks Palin for saying they don't talk to God.

Holy shit, it's like the Crusades all over again. Re-enacted by morons.

CNN reports that former McCain/Palin staffers are now very unhappy with Sarah Palin and her latest antic: Declaring at an Alaska GOP dinner last week that none of her staffers had been the sort of people she would want to pray with.

Palin stiffs Alaska legislature, freetards jealous

The Alaskan pitbull governor cut and ran from a scheduled meeting with state legislative leaders -- because they publicly criticized her over her decision ("aka political grandstanding") to turn down part of Alaska's share of the stimulus money.

Boy, if she can't stand up to her own cabinet, how the hell is she going to keep us safe from al Qaeda?

"Here it is, Mr President"

"It" being a vague, ill-defined scrawl drenched in flopsweat.

Party of No presents no details, no plan, no idea:

House Republicans yesterday laid out the federal budget that they would propose if they controlled Congress, but they were mocked by Democrats for putting out a document with almost no details or precise figures.

"It took me several minutes to read it," White House press secretary Robert Gibbs joked. "The LOLcats and PacMan pie-chart illustrations were a nice touch."

"I think the administration is glad that the Republicans heard the president's call to submit an alternative," Gibbs said. "We just hope that next time it will contain actual numbers so somebody can evaluate what it means."

Comment from the internet: " instead of a budget they have a crayon drawing of a bald eagle high-fiving jesus."

That's Pronouned Boner

Rushthuglibots unveil vague, slogan filled "alternative budget" with only one clear specific idea, and it's a revolutionary new idea. or not...

House Republican leaders called a press conference Thursday to unveil their "alternative budget." While it was thin on specifics, it does include one major policy proposal: a huge tax cut for the wealthy.

When asked for more specifics, orange skinned drama queen John Boner(R-Citigroup) replied: "We'll get back with you. But it will be great, and I promise I won't cum in your mouth this time, I really really mean it."
Personally, I disagree with anybody's assertion that the Rushthuglibots haven't shit to offer..... that's ALL those sexually deprived tightly clenched dingleberry infested sphincters have to offer.

Cock-sackie!

10 of the top most mispronounced places.

Too good to not repost

Here's Letterman's "teleprompter vs no teleprompter" for those who missed it:


LOL

Headline of the day

Michael Steele: "God will tell me if I should run for president." Nice to see Rush has shortened his monicker somewhat.

Yes, it's from fark. Actual story is from here, which really should give us a mention every once in a while in return, to be nice and all. We're on twitter, too, John, just saying. ☺

Pot-related questions deluge WH

Yes!!! Ahem. I mean... those dirty stinking hippies!

Woohoo!

When the White House put out a call for town hall questions, they might not have been expecting this. The more than 92,000 people who responded either have Cheech and Chong senses of humor, or there is a deep concern in America –undetected by the media — about the decriminalization of marijuana, its possible use for medicinal purposes and its potential as a new source of tax revenue.

Dude, like, duh. Real people asking real questions. Awesome. God bless America.

Bipartisanshipness

In their continuing bid to maintain permanent minority status, GOP split on whether to reach out to moderate Dems in budget fight.

While Rep. Paul Ryan, R-Wis., held out an olive branch to moderate Democrats known as "Blue Dogs" Wednesday, calling on his "friends" to join the GOP in opposing the budget, House Minority Leader Big John Boehner slammed the group as "lap dogs."

The double-fail: even when they're wrong, they get... wronger.

Post-Obamamania, big 3 networks’ evening news viewership declines

That was the headline over at the conservatard site noozebusters, where blaming the President is easier than thinking:

"All that cheerleading for Obama-Biden, and all they got was a continuation of their lousy long-term ratings drop. Perhaps one reason why Big 3 network coverage of the 2008 presidential election was so heavy on fawning favoritism towards Barack Obama and Joe Biden combined with all-out attacks on John McCain and Sarah Palin was that the belief that an Obama presidency might revive interest in their declining evening newscasts. If so, that strategy has spectactularly failed."

As do you. Maybe its because after the excruciatingly-long election run-up people just need to take a break? Or that after 8 years of gpukes running the country into the ground there isn't much good to report? Or maybe its because there hasn't been any exciting plane crashes or celebrity deaths or scandals to rubberneck over, which seems to be what most are interested in viewing anyway? Hmmmmm? Could any of those factor in at all? Of course not! Not in your tiny little world! Fucking idiot.

Next: the honeymoon with Obama is over: sales of arugula have slipped.
For petessake.

Telepromptitudeness!

Surprise: Right-wing bloggers don't know the difference between a "gaffe" and a "joke," "shit" and "shinola."

Did the president really become so TelePrompTer dependent that he accidentally thanked himself after a speech? No. Harnden has the pool report from Obama’s appearance with Irish Taioseach Brian Cowen:

"Then it was Cowen’s turn, and he was in for a surprise. ‘We begin by welcoming today a strong friend of the United States,’ he said–then stopped in surprise as he realized he was reading President Obama’s speech off the teleprompter. ‘Why don’t these things work for me?’ he asked, as the crowd roared. ‘Thank you for having us. Who said these things were idiot-proof?’ Then he got his bearings and gave the same talk that he delivered in the East Room.

When he ended, at 8:12, Obama stepped to the microphone and said, ‘First, I’d like to say thank you to President Obama…(much laughter). Happy Saint Patrick’s Day, everybody.’ Then we were escorted out."

Gee. Republitards making shit up. Gosh. See also 'When wingnuts manufacture their own malarky."

Off his rocker

Ted Nugent at inhumanevents.com sympathizes with the President for not being able to put together a totally awesome kick-ass band or something:

"Somebody wake me from this heartbreaking dream, quick. I know it’s hard to pick a team sometimes. When I tour, I must seek out the absolute greatest bass guitar jammer and ultimate animal drummer on earth in order for my amazing music to reach maximum velocity and fire breathing soul..."

This is where I stopped reading and grabbed a drink.

In other not-news, a serial womanizer/adulterer and pedophile who shit in his pants for a week to avoid serving in the military has his own column in a conservatard rag.

The stupid: it frightens me

It's people like this that make me want to jam forks in my eyes. This is why we can never let our guard down for one freaking minute. Because there's always going to be one clueless, pathetic troll that hasn't gotten the fucking memo that it's 2009. Here, one of the basement people at towndump.com tediously spurts all over himself in hot, jealous rage:

"President Barack Obama, in an appearance on 'The Tonight Show' with Jay Leno, made a self-deprecating but ill-advised joke, in which he referred to the Special Olympics. He quickly apologized. Crisis averted. Fair enough. But the real story is the media double standard: Imagine the uproar if a President John McCain made the Special Olympics comment. For that matter, imagine if a President McCain mistook a White House window for a door; his secretary of Treasury had not paid taxes; he granted two dozen waivers to his no-lobbyists-in-government rule; and he had promised bipartisanship but got only three across-the-aisle votes...

Here we go again. 'Bipartisanship' is NOT a one-way street, you pedantic imbecile. No, the real story is that you can manage to breathe on your own -- but I guess all that hyperventilating is good for something, huh? To one of us, anyway. Idiot.

Erstwhile GOP "rising star" mooned by colleagues

House Minority Whip Eric Cantor, who forgot to drink the kool-aid on a couple of issues, has "exasperated" many in his obstructionist, do-nothing party.

The grumbling started when Cantor unexpectedly voted with Democrats last week on a measure to recoup the bonuses of AIG executives. Many Republicans called the bill unconstitutional, with more than half of the GOP conference rejecting it. Cantor, who has been labeled “Mr. No” by some Democrats, was one of only two Republican leadership officials who voted for the bill.

Well, you all suck. It's just that some of you suck a bit less than the others.

Palin faces yet another ethics complaint

The posterpitbull for the party of values said last week she's accumulated more than half a million dollars for her defense against various complaints and may be forced to create a legal defense fund.

Maybe actually shutting the fuck up and going back to work might be a good place to start.

Moron pwn3d

Not News: gpuke Congressman submits bill calling for proof of citizenship before elections in the future.

News: is told by MSNBC commentator to "take the Reynolds Wrap off your head."

U.S. Retard Bill Posey did what most congressmen would do regarding a subject of grave concern to their voters: He proposed a bill that would require future presidential candidates to document their eligibility. And that has earned him scorn and ridicule.

"What you should do is stop embarrassing yourself and take the Reynolds Wrap off your head," Keith Olbermann suggested to Posey.

U.S. Rep. Neil Abercrombie, D-Hawaii, has gone so far as to suggest that Posey's judgment is skewed.

Heh. From worldnutdaily, so no link. If you really want it, let me know and I'll post it in the comments.

This is just a test

Hi guys -- trying to post from a teeny little phone is a real challenge.

More of THIS Please

Oopsie! Another simulpost. The lovely and snarkalucious Maru has has a great take on this below. Drug diseased, liberal minds think alike, you know.
Paul Begala, on CNN,

The Republicans are like an arsonist who complains that the fire department is wasting water... Unless and until they do offer an alternative, they really have no right to whine about the president. For now at least, GOP stands for Got 0 Plans.

Hold me I think I'm going to c-c-ccuuuu......good nite.

Other stuff

Canadians reply to Fux Noise blowhole Greg Gutfeld.

Americans react to Bill O'Reilly's tawdry, creepy audiobook.

20 actors mismatched to their on-screen profession.

The top six mysteries of the Bermuda triangle.

15 creepiest album covers.

Goin' noook-yooler

The rightwing blogger who called Bush "a man of extraordinary vision and brilliance approaching to genius" mocks Obama for mispronouncing the word "Orion."

Good gravy. A quick look back at the past master of eloquence:

"Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream." -LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000

"Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease." -Gothenburg, Sweden, June 14, 2001

"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." -Greater Nashua, N.H., Jan. 27, 2000

"If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator." CNN, Dec. 18, 2000

"I hear there's rumors on the Internets that we're going to have a draft." -second presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004

"You work three jobs? ... Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that." -to a divorced mother of three, Omaha, Nebraska, Feb. 4, 2005

"They misunderestimated me." -Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000

"Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?" -Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000

"The California crunch really is the result of not enough power-generating plants and then not enough power to power the power of generating plants." -Jan. 2001

"I don't care what the polls say. I don't. I'm doing what I think what's wrong." George W Bush, New York Times, 15th March 2000

"They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program." -St. Charles, Mo., Nov. 2, 2000

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." -Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

"There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says, fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again." -Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002

"But I also made it clear to (Vladimir Putin) that it's important to think beyond the old days of when we had the concept that if we blew each other up, the world would be safe." -May 1, 2001

"Neither in French nor in English nor in Mexican." -April 21, 2001

"A lot of times in the rhetoric, people forget the facts. And the facts are that thousands of small businesses - Hispanically owned or otherwise - pay taxes at the highest marginal rate." -speaking to the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, March 19, 2001

"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.' -Feb. 21, 2001

"Will the highways on the internet become more few?" -Concord, New Hampshire, Jan. 29, 2000

"Redefining the role of the United States from enablers to keep the peace to enablers to keep the peace from peacekeepers is going to be an assignment." -Jan. 2001

I know there is a lot of ambition in Washington, obviously. But I hope the ambitious realize that they are more likely to succeed with success as opposed to failure." -Jan. 2001

"The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorize himself." -Grand Rapids, Mich., Jan. 29, 2003

-- And that was WITH a teleprompter. (thanks to Shower at fark for the quotes)

Bonus: the same rightwingnut blogger, Hindrocket from powerdump, enthusiastically supported the Disasta from Alaska Sarah "durrrr????" Failin.

Bonus 2: Letterman's 'Teleprompter Vs. No Teleprompter.'

'GOP' stands for 'Got 0 Plans'

Paul Begala on the Party of No:

None of the crises the president is addressing were of his creation. All of them were created or worsened by the Republicans who ran the House of Representatives, Senate and White House for years...

All the energy -- indeed all debate -- is on the progressive side of the aisle. The Obama administration's only intellectual challengers are on the left, where economist and New York Times columnist Paul Krugman and others are offering a vigorous critique and proposing alternative solutions. But where are the Republicans? Doing nothing but complaining. Unless and until they do offer an alternative, they really have no right to whine about the president. For now at least, GOP stands for "Got 0 Plans."

Pretty smart for a fetus.

Cunt eats with that mouth

I was going to post this yesterday, but was too disgusted by the waves of bile overflowing from this horrible, bottom-dwelling hosebag. Laura Ingraham's ignorant guest host Tammy McButthurt, snickering: "We've got trash in the White House." No, this isn't a repeat from 2001.

Discussing the first lady's visit to a Washington D.C. classroom last week, Bruce incredulously recalled Obama's story about wanting to get A's in school and called out her use of a "weird, fake accent."

"That's what he's married to," Bruce said. "You know what we've got? We've got trash in the White House. Trash is a thing that is colorblind, it can cross all eco-socionomic...categories. You can work on Wall Street, or you can work at the Wal-Mart. Trash, are people who use other people to get things, who patronize others, who consider you bitter and clingy..."

The actual audio is even worse. WTF is her problem?? I bet she considers herself a "good Christian," too. Fucking cunt.

Breathtaking intellectual hypocrisy*

Senate Republicans call budget reconciliation "an act of violence." But it was apparently totally legitimate 8 years ago. And then again 6 years ago. And again 2 1/2 years after that. And one more time 5 months later.

ThinkProgress:

Despite their howls against Obama, Republicans employed the same procedure to pass major Bush agenda items (which were supported by all four aforementioned Senators):

– The 2001 Bush Tax Cuts [HR 1836, 3/26/01]
– The 2003 Bush Tax Cuts [HR 2, 3/23/03]
– Tax Increase Prevention and Reconciliation Act of 2005 [HR 4297, 5/11/06]
– The Deficit Reduction Act of 2005 [H. Con Res. 95, 12/21/05]

* See here.

Jindal urges GOP to stand up and blah blah blah

Hapless douchewad Bobby Jindal again found himself opening up his yap-hole on Tuesday, saying republicans must be ready to defy the president when they disagree with his policies. Working towards a solution? Not so much.

His introduction of the new ObaMonitoring System was met with jeers, however, as the intended users are, after all, repuglicans and will automatically defy the [Democratic] President on everything anyway.

Comment from teh interweb: "Bobby Jindal wants everyone to know that it's OK to want someone to fail, especially if they just kicked your party's sorry ass half way across the country."