_________________________________________________
The cats investigate Maru's magic twanger

Nigel Tufnel: The sustain, listen to it.
Marty DiBergi: I don't hear anything.
Nigel Tufnel: Well you would though, if it were playing.



"These go to 11."

_________________________________________________
Cool

The CCTV footage of the Hampton Court ghost, via Chapel Perilous.

Web site names top word, phrase and name of the year. Missing: Miserable failure George W Bush.

Merriam-Webster's top 10 words of the year.

Someone's been having way too much free time with the Bush flightsuit doll. Missing: the Tete Upmyassa position.

Political greeting cards.

The top 10 space images of 2003.

EOMER: Hi! Okay, stop me if you've heard this one. An elf, a man, and a dwarf walk into the Riddermark...

_________________________________________________
Our day off
Big brown dog #1 is waiting for me to drop one of my Chef Boy-ar-Dee raviolis.
Big brown dog #2 is downstairs, hoping the UPS guy comes back.
Big orange cat Jaffa, tired of watching squirrels outside taunt him, has jumped into a big Amazon box.
Small orange cat Egon is sleeping in a puddle of sun.
Parrot Merlin is strangely silent. Hopefully he's pooping on the pic of the pReznit lining the bottom of his freedom hut cage.

_________________________________________________
Kucinich calls terror alert a government scare tactic
The jackbooted fascist regime of lying, indolent moron Snippy the Chimp is using elevated terror alerts for political gain while confusing Americans and accomplishing little, Dennis Kucinich said.

For related stories, see meat from mad cow found in eight states, new concerns over anthrax readiness, or, Taliban claims responsibility today for a bombing that killed five.

Feeling safer yet?

I've been lazy, watching football and trying to learn how to play my new electric twanger. Are they f*cking kidding with that F chord?? How the hey am I supposed to manage that??



Ho ho
ScottB sent us the official WH Christmas card, 'pressed from genuine clear-cut redwood and sequoia pulp.'

_________________________________________________
PSM by harpy skank
mAnn Coulter explains Kwanzaa.

_________________________________________________
Ladies and gentleman, please take your seats
...as the curtain rises for Testicle Theater.

Why, God??!

_________________________________________________
'These guys don't have a clue'
"The more I saw, the more I thought that this was the product of the neocons who didn't understand the region and were going to create havoc there. These were dilettantes from Washington think tanks who never had an idea that worked on the ground." - - Vietnam vet Anthony Zinni, on the U.S. policy in Iraq.

Bremer embarrasses Blair in major Bush Cartel "script" f*ck-up
As insurgents increase attacks and death toll mounts, Bush Cartel story line becomes train wreck:

Tony Blair was at the center of an embarrassing row last night after the most senior US official in Baghdad bluntly rejected the Prime Minister's assertion that secret weapons laboratories had been discovered in Iraq.

In a Christmas message to British troops, Blair claimed there was 'massive evidence of a huge system of clandestine laboratories'. The Iraq Survey Group had unearthed compelling evidence that showed Saddam had attempted to 'conceal weapons', the Prime Minister said. But in an interview yesterday, Paul Bremer, the Bush administration's top official in Baghdad, flatly dismissed the claim as untrue - without realising its source was Blair.

Meanwhile, the number of US service members killed and wounded in Iraq has more than doubled in the past four months compared with the four months preceding them, according to Pentagon statistics, with yesterday's offensive in Karbala marking the end of a disastrous Christmas week for coalition forces in Iraq following Saddam Hussein's capture.

A roadside bomb killed an American soldier and two Iraqi children in Baghdad on Sunday, as mourners buried victims of a coordinated guerrilla assault in the southern city of Karbala that left 19 dead and almost 200 wounded. The Baghdad blast also wounded five American soldiers, their Iraqi interpreter and eight members of the Iraqi civil defense corps, said Sgt. Patrick Compton of the U.S. Army's 1st Armored Division.

_________________________________________________
Pink slips greet returning soldiers
When U.S. Army Maj. Joe Cherry left his federal job at the National Labor Relations Board in Chicago because he was called up to fight the war in Iraq he received an unexpected going-away present. The major wouldn't have to worry whether his government job would be there when he returned - the federal government made that decision for him, firing him on the spot.

Cherry is not alone. In the last five years 5,690 veterans have lost their jobs in both the private and public sectors while activated to serve a tour of duty, according to a U.S. Department of Labor report presented to Congress this year. Those numbers are expected to increase because, of the 300,000 deployed reservists, as many as 25,000 veterans are expected to return home in 2005 to reintegrate themselves back into civilian life after a tour of duty in the global war against terrorism. Of those 300,000, about 20,000 work for the federal government.

_________________________________________________
If you can...
Please send some love to Jim Capozzola of the Rittenhouse Review, and some prayers to Susan of Easy Bake Coven.

_________________________________________________
The slipperiness of the administration's dishonesty
'Was the capture of Saddam Hussein a major victory for the United States? It was certainly a victory in the extended Iraq war. It was a victory for President Bush over the man who plotted to kill his father. It was a victory for the Republican Party's plan to keep a stranglehold on American politics. But was it, as the president told us, a victory in the ''war on terrorism''?

'Despite the media hoopla and the White House spin doctors, it was not....So, brave and good American men and women continue to die in Iraq, as do good Iraqi men and women. The military tells us that the Army will have to remain for two more years. The war was not only unnecessary, it was unjust by any and all of the traditional canons of an unjust war.' - - Andrew Greeley.

_________________________________________________
Saddam threatens to expose Washington’s “political games”
"Saddam threatened that if they continue to pressure him he will reveal startling facts — about America’s political games with his country — that would shock the whole world.”

_________________________________________________
The Bush factor
Kid sent to federal prison for allegedly damaging a boat engine belonging to Bush-the-only-slightly-smarter and his hellish mate, Barb the Pit Viper.

"They said that they had concerns that this could be a terrorist attack. They cited national security concerns," said the 14-year-old's mother.

We're back! Hope everyone had a nice Christmas/seasonal holiday/couple days off from work. I'm still trying to recover from screaming kids, heavy meals, and losing sleep worrying about my job, or the possible lack thereof.

Anyhoo, I got some cool presents this year, instead of the usual bag o' coal:

One of those triple-tube bird feeders to replace the one that was torn down by bears

A silver and amethyst ring, very Celtic-looking

Some DVDs ("What're you getting Patton for? That's a republican movie!")

Books: The Most Beautiful Villages in France, and Lord of the Rings: Weapons and Warfare

An electric guitar! This is my very first one - I used to play acoustic, but stopped when I got bored with the nylon-stringed monstrosity I was given as a gift as long time ago. First things to learn: Sweet Child O' Mine, and a kick-ass version of Carol of the Bells that I heard on Christmas that sounded positively demonic.

_________________________________________________
In case I don't see you tomorrow...



What I want in my stockings Have a magical Christmas Eve!

Image by stephenv.

_________________________________________________
Case of mad cow disease in Wash. state
"No foul play suspected."

pReznit Poopypants is reportedly pissed at Agriculture Secretary Ann Veneman, who - on national television - admitted that "This incident is not terrorist-related. I cannot stress this point strongly enough."

"She's ruining everything," he was heard to remark to worthless national insecurity advisor Condoleeeza Rice.

_________________________________________________
Airbrushed from history
"[W]ith Saddam's capture, we're being urged to forget that the U.S. was ever looking for anything other than the dishevelled dictator.

"David Bercuson, director of the Centre for Military and Strategic Studies at the University of Calgary, argued on CBC-TV's The National last week that Saddam's capture was 'going to help do away with the weapons of mass destruction issue.'

"This makes it sound as if the whole weapons issue was just some trifling matter that disgruntled types keep harping on, rather than being the very centre of the administration's case for war.

"It wasn't the left that turned WMD into a household phrase last winter; it was the White House."

- - Linda McQuaig, the Toronto Star.

_________________________________________________
"Constitutional right to privacy"?
WTF's with that??

Housekeeper: Rush Limbaugh paid me hush money!

Lying pillpopper Limpbag: Damn Democrat! She was blackmailing me! We still haven't seen Bill Clinton's medical records, have we?*

Judge: unseal your medical records for the prosecution, El Pigbo, and start practicing your squealy noises.

*Actual quote from the junkie's show today.

_________________________________________________
Heh heh
Make your own "kick me" sign for indolent fascist Smirky the Chimp at Pen-Elayne on the Web!

Merry effing whatever.
I had to work today, and while the other cube rats were yakking and partying it up three cubes down, I actually had to do something in order to try to 'justify' my job for when the sh*tcanning of 'nonessential' personnel comes around in mid-January. Don't want to be seen as having any free time to f*rk off on the internet! Fa la la la la.



Oh, and Happy Festivus!

_________________________________________________
Whoa!
Jon Stewart, Newsweek cover boy?!

_________________________________________________
Ho ho!
Hypocrite/lying junkie Rush Limbaugh, that paragon of morals, personal responsibility and accountability, is now saying that he was being blackmailed by his housekeeper, first for pills and then for extortion.

Lawyer Roy Black said El Pigbo wanted to contact the FBI, but was told by an unidentified friend that if he went to the authorities, they would target him, and his political enemies would use the information against him.

Sounds like the drugs talking.

Boo-frickin-hoo. Take it like a man, you snivelling gasbag. Assh*le.

_________________________________________________
The P.U.-Litzer Prizes for 2003
AlterNet's 12th annual P.U.-litzer Prizes, for the foulest media performances of 2003.

_________________________________________________
Thank you, thank you - I'll be here all week...
"I came to this office to solve problems and not pass them on to future presidents and future generations." - - Unelected fascist G W Bush, at a NJ fund-raising stop, 12/1/03.

_________________________________________________
Helen Thomas: 'Dick Cheney, hypocritical lying scumbucket'
Well, words to that effect.

_________________________________________________
Tweety Matthews wins Bigot of the Year award

The NileMedia Bigot of the Year Award is given to permanently dishonor the individual who we think is the vilest hate-monger in the United States. Naturally, many candidates qualify for this title. This year we considered awarding it to a number of candidates, including Charles Krauthammer, Daniel Pipes, Wolf Blitzer, Aaron Brown and Bill Maher. But after much consideration, we decided that no one deserves it more than Chris Matthews of MSNBC. He is the loudest imbecile among this year's crop of candidates and he works for the two largest corporations in the world MicroSoft and General Electric, which owns NBC. So, we trust he will share his award with his paymasters. We will be sure to advise them of his rank as this year's dean of bigots.

It must have been tough choosing from so many. I heard the panellists who had to decide on the finalists from Faux Nooze are still catatonic.
�

_________________________________________________
Petulant pRez pissed at poodle
Fascist incompetent Smirky McSissypants was 'incensed that [Tony 'Piddles'] Blair stole Washington's thunder by being the first Western leader to confirm that the former dictator had been arrested by US troops,' the Mirror reports.

Blair's decision to announce was partly out of anger over a US veto on his proposed visit to British troops in Iraq during the Christmas holiday - pResidential advisers in Washington wanted the photo-opping fraud to be the sole leader to make a Christmas visit to troops in Baghdad and urged Downing Street to postpone any visit. What f*cking nerve.

_________________________________________________
The sea was angry that day, my friends
Fishermen dress lobster as Barbie

"You try squeezing Barbie shoes on a lobster," Chris Costello said. "That was the most time-consuming thing."


'Don't even THINK about it.'

_________________________________________________
POY? FU!
'Dear Time Warner'...

And in a related story, the total number of wounded soldiers and medical evacuations from the war in Iraq is nearing 11,000.

It is a toll the country has not seen since Vietnam, said Aseneth Blackwell, former national president of Gold Star Wives of America, Inc., a support group for people who lose a spouse from war.

"It is staggering," said Blackwell.

Gee. More WH lies.
Saddam Hussein was taken by US troops only after he had been captured by Kurdish forces and drugged, a senior British military intelligence officer reported. Saddam was betrayed to the Kurdish Patriotic Front by a tribe member whose daughter had been raped by Saddam's son Uday, leading to a blood feud. The Sunday Express (express.co.uk) said the full story of events leading up to the Saddam's capture 'exposes the version peddled by American spin doctors as incomplete' while an intelligence source in the Middle East said 'Saddam was not captured as a result of any American or British intelligence. We knew that someone would eventually take their revenge, it was just a matter of time.'

And then there's this:

Time magazine, citing officials familiar with confidential accounts of Saddam's capture, cast doubt yesterday on the Pentagon version, that a defiant Saddam offered to negotiate, only to be told by one GI: "Regards from President Bush."

The 'true' version involved Saddam spitting on the soldiers as they dragged him from his hidey-hole, whereby one promptly slugged him. At least that's today's story, since military spokesmen in Baghdad are 'claiming no knowledge' of it.

And speaking of having no knowledge of...

While the "we got him!" orgasmatron was exploding all over the news, unelected fascist Snippy the Chimp took the opportunity to continue to piss all over our rights by stealthily signing the Patriot II Act.


Think that made you any safer?
Threat indicators are "perhaps greater now than at any point'' since Sept. 11.

The U.S. government raised its terror alert to the second highest level on Sunday and warned Americans there was a high risk militants might launch attacks around the holidays in the United States that could be bigger than those of Sept. 11, 2001.

Ha! But if those haters of freedom decide to visit a casino, we got 'em! Of course, by the time the WH figures it out the suspects'll probably be dead in a suicide airliner bombing.

The warning came right after Saddam's 'capture' had been exposed as a photo-op despite White House bullshitting assurances that many of al Qaeda's operations had been disrupted and that the occupation of Iraq was making the world safer. Despite the fact that the Taliban and Osama's forces have pretty much regrouped and that Saddam had nothing to do with the September 11th attacks.

_________________________________________________
Scary. And I can see it happening.
"Israeli commentator Ze'ev Schiff suggests the White House might offer Saddam a deal: a life prison sentence in exchange for a false confession that he had indeed made and hidden weapons of mass destruction, thus absolving Bush and VP Dick Cheney of the accusation of having made extravagant lies to whip up war against Iraq." - - Eric Margolis.

_________________________________________________
'The U.S. is still in its hole'
'THE BIGGEST non-story of the year is the capture of former Iraqi dictator and butcher Saddam Hussein.

'Saddam's capture, celebrated by the American media in tones which suggest an event of epic proportions, is the greatest blindsiding and the biggest illusionist's show on the world stage today. It would be comical if not taken so seriously by the big American media which dominate global news flows.

'"We must not allow ourselves to be fooled by professional distractionists and illusionists like Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist who declared triumphantly and dishonestly after the capture of Saddam Hussein that "the reason we were in that country in the first place are being realised." No, that is not why the Americans went in. They went in to find and destroy the weapons of mass destruction and they have not done so.' - - Ian Boyne.

_________________________________________________
Accountability is for suckers
Reboob Rep. 'Wild Bill' Janklow has filed a motion asking for acquittal of a second-degree manslaughter charge or a new trial stemming from an Aug. 16 crash that killed motorcyclist Randy Scott when Janklow, as was his wont, sped through a stop sign.

What a complete waste of O2 that piece of sh*t is. The court should take his motion and his license and shove them both up his a$$.

_________________________________________________
Speaking of ....
Police confident they can "sniff out" stolen penis.

_________________________________________________
The Bush cartel's warm welcome to Libya
"Bush’s words were warm and effusive, as indeed they should have been given the rewards that await the US oil industry if sanctions are lifted. During the 1980s, US firms were producing one million barrels of Libyan oil per day and, according to a recent report, new technology could see this double. One firm which would benefit from this is the Halliburton Corporation, whose chief executive until recently was the US vice-president, Dick Cheney."

_________________________________________________
Hussein was held by Kurds before U.S. capture
Agence France-Presse is reporting that Saddam was captured by US troops only after being held prisoner by Kurdish forces, who had had drugged and abandoned him.

The Kurdish Patriotic Front held Hussien until it negotiated for more political advantage in the Middle East, AFP said, quoting an unidentified Iraqi intelligence officer.

Time magazine's Person of Year
Is the U.S. Soldier.
'The magazine glorifies soldiers but not the Bush administration for putting them in Iraq, calling troops "the bright sharp instrument of a blunt policy."

_________________________________________________
Huh
Looking at today's entries so far, I suddenly realized I've posted a lot of pics of genitalia: dick, nuts, dick, balls, pussy, {snowman}, dick...

I need a cigar.

_________________________________________________
Steaming pile of santorum
"If there was any justice in the world, his nuts would be crushed in a vise."- - Ron Guilmette, operator of the anti-spam web site Monkeys.com, of Bill Waggoner, spam king, reboob, and hawker of penis-enlargement-pills (seen at Counterspin Central).

_________________________________________________
If pets could send holiday greetings

We, your cats, at Christmas say,
Thanks for caring for us each day.
We love this season, all green and red,
And by the way, the hamster's dead.

I'd like to bark a merry tune,
I'd like to deck the halls.
I'd like to bring the world some joy,
But first, I'll lick my balls.

As watchman-cat, I've done my job,
The house is safe once more.
That shiny stuff that stormed the tree
Is dead now on the floor.

Santa brought you presents,
While you slept in your beds.
All I, your cat, can offer
Is a field mouse, ripped to shreds.

This Christmas Eve if you hear a noise,
it's me -- your little Yuletide elf.
In your shoe, you'll find a steaming gift,
I made it by myself!

I think that I shall never see
a thing as lovely as a Christmas tree.
You decorated it so nice,
I'm sorry I peed on it -- twice.

- - email from MikeD.

_________________________________________________
Why sore Whinerman is still an asshole
Part XVIII in a series

Clueless Joe Lieberman calls Howard Dean a "divisive leader."


"Mmmmmm! Maybe Dubya will pick ME as his new VP!"

_________________________________________________
Don't have a job?
Well, according to the Bush cartel, it's all your fault!

_________________________________________________
"Justice" Dept approves Texas congressional map
Gee. What a surprise.

In a devastating blow to Democrats and minorities, Jesus John Ashcroft signed off on the Rove/DeLay congressional redistricting plan on Friday, putting the bitterly contested map a step closer to becoming reality in time for the 2004 elections.

Republican officials praised the decision, but opponents blasted it as the action of a highly partisan Justice Department that "hijacks" minority voting rights for political gain.

_________________________________________________
Reboob hull breech!
Corruption claim governor says he was called by God

Governor John Rowland of Connecticut has rejected calls for his resignation over corruption allegations, saying he is in direct contact with God.

In a performance worthy of a fallen "televangelist" John Rowland, who has admitted accepting favours and gifts from powerful businessmen, defended his position by saying the Almighty had called to him "loud and clear" in his "adversity."

Mr Rowland, a Republican who faces a federal inquiry into the awarding of lucrative state contracts, spoke flanked by local soldiers recently returned from Iraq.

Several of his aides also face inquiries, including a deputy chief of staff who pleaded guilty to steering state contracts to firms in exchange for cash and gold, some of which he buried in his backyard.

At the same public appearance, before a sympathetic audience of businessmen and lobbyists, the governor's wife delivered her own version of the poem The Night Before Christmas, in which she predicted that Father Christmas would deliver coal, rather than presents, to a local newspaper which unmasked her husband as lying about who paid for expensive repairs to their lakeside cottage.

In the poem, which drew gasps from the audience, Mrs Rowland compared staff at the Hartford Courant newspaper to "grinches who have stolen our tree." Her parody went on to describe a Christmas wish "for the man next to me: a new year that is peaceful and refreshingly free of rumours and hearsay that do nothing but smother the positive works we should do for each other."

Next: Gov. and Mrs Rowland unveil massive statue of the Ten Commandments in front of their suites at the Conn. Mental Asylum.


Pic by Missus Gumby.

Halliburton withholding papers
Pentagon auditors have accused Dick 'Chicanery' Cheney's "former" company, Halliburton, of refusing to turn over documents that show the company knew of "significant internal control weaknesses" in an Iraq fuel contract that has allegedly overcharged taxpayers nearly $100 million.

A letter from the Defense Contract Audit Agency to a top official at Kellogg Brown & Root, the Halliburton subsidiary handling more than $5 billion of work in Iraq, says that KBR's refusal to turn over the internal audit "is not in the spirit of open communication, trust and cooperation."

Well duh.


"Owned!!"

_________________________________________________
'And could I have an autographed picture of you in that flight-suit?'
Diane 'dumbasshit' 'Sawyer's interview did produce one significant piece of news. When she queried Bush about whether Saddam had weapons of mass destruction or just might try to acquire them, Bush said, "What's the difference?...If he wants to acquire weapons, that would be the danger...And so we got rid of him."

'There is an almost imperative follow-up: "President Bush, are you really saying that there's no difference between whether Saddam had weapons of mass destruction or just wanted them? Because that's not what you told this nation when you asked us to go to war."

'Too bad Sawyer didn't ask that, or anything like it.' - - from the strangely-named Richard Blow's piece at TomPaine.com.

_________________________________________________
What Christmas Carol are you?
Take the quiz.

_________________________________________________
Under cover of darkness
'Never before has the House of Representatives operated in such secrecy.'

_________________________________________________
'Hey, we cautioned him!'
'The administrations of Reagan and George H.W. Bush sold military goods to Iraq, including poisonous chemicals and deadly biological agents.'

Don Rumsfeld went to Baghdad in March 1984 with instructions to deliver a private message from Saint Ronald of Reagan about weapons of mass destruction: that the United States' public criticism of Iraq for using chemical weapons would not derail Washington's attempts to forge a better relationship, according to newly declassified documents obtained under the Freedom of Information Act. - - more at the WaComPo.

_________________________________________________
"The Supreme Court took the case to kill it"
The Dick 'Chicanery' Cheney energy task force suit goes to the Supreme Criminals. "We're totally screwed," said one lawyer close to the case.

_________________________________________________
Quote
"The US and the UK are so wedded to the idea that the Iraqis were hiding things that they are not willing to explore the possibility that they're wrong." - - Hans Blix.

But...but...we got Saddam! And look - Michael Jackson news!

_________________________________________________
PSM
Take the Ralph Nader 2004 Presidential Exploratory Committee survey on whether you would support his candidacy for President (thanks to Hesiod).

_________________________________________________
Weird
Closed-circuit cameras capture a ghost in period dress opening doors at Hampton Court Palace, one of the homes of King Henry VIII, and long-reported to be haunted.

Beautiful images from the Spitzer Space Telescope.




Congratulations
To Jon Stewart, who is ABC World News Tonight's Person of the Week.

_________________________________________________
Pic
Jesus John Asscroft, in front of a Rovian backdrop reading "Preserving Life and Liberty," demonstrates how he'd like to choke the living snot out of commie unbelievers and the ACLU, here.

_________________________________________________
Mmmmmmmmmm...
Coffee-flavored cereal .....

_________________________________________________
Explain THIS, you flagwaving douchebag
For the monkeyspanker who's been leaving those nationalistic masturbatory comments lately:

pReznit Lying Moron to Diane Sawyer, 12/16/03, on Saddam and going to war with Iraq: "The possibility that he could acquire weapons. If he were to acquire weapons, he would be the danger. That's, that's what I'm trying to explain to you."

"If he were to acquire weapons" ?? You don't see a problem here? Oh, wait, no - he didn't have a blowjob. Idiot.

"Condi, where're the damn pretzals??" - Dick 'dick' Cheney.

_________________________________________________
Just in time for the holidays
The Bushocchio inflatable doll (with pic).

• No Integrity Required!
• Easy on Billionaires but Tough on the Truth!
• Folds Up to Fit in Any Corporate Briefcase!

Rear view includes mischievous "Impeach Me!" sign stuck on his back. Shoulder has genuine AWOL flag patch!

_________________________________________________
'Is the search for weapons over?'
'After eight months with no discoveries, mission chief quits; fewer than 40 of the 1,400 inspectors still in the field; as attacks on US military grow, WMD hunt no longer a priority.'

What the eds of the Independent really wanted to write was Poppy's Widdle Poop-head Manages to Find Guy Who Tried to Kill His Dad, Doesn't Need "Smoking Mushroom Cloud" Excuse Any Longer - Besides, the Sheeple Just Don't Give a Sh*t.

_________________________________________________
"pResidential authority does not exist in a vacuum"
Bitchslapped! Fascist punk Emperor Snippy overruled in "dirty bomb" case - court orders release of "enemy combatant" Jose Padilla, says resident does not have authority to detain US citizen captured on US soil.

_________________________________________________
In other news

Michael Jackson becomes the first white woman to join the Nation of Islam.

"Host unhinged after sales figures revealed," screams site. In a froth over a story drudge posted (see yesterday's O'Lielly caught in lie), gasbag and petulant crybaby Bill O'Reilly called the drudge report a "threat to democracy."

"I mean you can't believe a word Matt Drudge says. Now you've got the Matt Drudges of the world and these other people, Michael Moore and all of these crazies, all right, no responsibility... that is a threat to democracy, I think," O'Reilly warned. "They'll just spin it and twist it and take it out of proportion every which way."

"There is no other cure than to kill Matt Drudge," O'Reilly said on the Imus in the Morning radio show. "I just want to tell everybody that Matt Drudge is smoking crack - right now, in South Miami Beach on Washington Avenue... And the authorities should know it."

Take it like a man, you snivelling asswipe.

_________________________________________________
Signs that your spouse is sleeping with Santa

Instead of cookies and milk, she leaves out a fifth of Scotch and edible panties.

Comes home with tinsel stuck between her teeth and Claus marks on her back.

Of the 200 presents for her under the tree, you bought three of them.

Never very adventuresome in bed, she suddenly asks if you want to do it "reindeer style."

He comes in late, brushes his teeth furiously, uses floss and mouthwash for the first time in years, then says, "Well, it looks like I'm finally getting that train set this year!"

- - email from MikeD.

_________________________________________________
Bang your head
"What's the difference," you lying %*#@?????

From Diane Sawyer's Dec. 16 interview with pReznit Lying Dumbass:

Diane Sawyer: But let me try to ask - this could be a long question. When you take a look back, Vice President Cheney said there is no doubt, Saddam Hussein has weapons of mass destruction, not programs, not intent. There is no doubt he has weapons of mass destruction...Again, the intelligence - the inspectors have said they can't confirm this, they can't corroborate.

Chimpy: Yet.

Diane Sawyer: - an active -

Chimpy: Yet.

Diane Sawyer: Again, I'm just trying to ask, these are supporters, people who believed in the war who have asked the question.

Chimpy: Well, you can keep asking the question and my answer's gonna be the same. Saddam was a danger and the world is better off cause we got rid of him.

Diane Sawyer: But stated as a hard fact, that there were weapons of mass destruction as opposed to the possibility that he could move to acquire those weapons still -

Chimpy: So what's the difference?

{...pause to pick mouth up off the floor, wipe coffee from face and keyboard...}

Chimpy: What - I, I - I made my decision based upon enough intelligence to tell me that this country was threatened with Saddam Hussein in power.

Diane Sawyer: What would it take to convince you he didn't have weapons of mass destruction?

Chimpy: Saddam Hussein was a threat and the fact that he is gone means America is a safer country.

Diane Sawyer: And if he doesn't have weapons of mass destruction [inaudible] -

Chimpy: Diane, you can keep asking the question. I'm telling you - I made the right decision for America -

Diane Sawyer, exhausted: But-

Chimpy: - because Saddam Hussein used weapons of mass destruction, invaded Kuwait. ... But the fact that he is not there is, means America's a more secure country.

Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom.

_________________________________________________
Out, damned spot!
White House web scrubbing: comments on Iraq disappear from site

Rewriting history: The Bush misadministration has deleted "offending comments" by Andrew Natsios, the administrator of the US Agency for International Development, from the agency's web site. The transcript, and links to it, have vanished.

This isn't the first time the bushites have done "creative editing" of government web sites. After the situation in Iraq became more and more of a quagmiry hellhole, the White House edited the original headline of the web site's entry for the Flightsuit-in-Chief's May 1 speech, "President Bush Announces Combat Operations in Iraq Have Ended," to insert the word "Major" before combat. - - the Washington Post.

Image by Cormee. I don't know why, but this cracks me up.

I'm still trying to recover from last night.
Since I only had one glass of wine - and a martini - I think I'm just dehydrated from all the Chinese food.
Plus in the middle of the night Jaffa kept pawing at my face until I woke up and fed him his damn Pounce Treats.


Reaction from WH: "shit!!!"
9/11 Chair: attack was preventable

Thomas Kean, appointed by the Bush misadministration (and a former Republican governor of New Jersey), is now pointing fingers at the Bushies and laying blame for the terrorist attacks of September 11th.

"I don't think anybody could have predicted that they would try to use an airplane as a missile, a hijacked airplane as a missile," said national security adviser Condoleeza Rice on May 16, 2002.

"How is it possible we have a national security advisor coming out and saying we had no idea they could use planes as weapons when we had FBI records from 1991 stating that this is a possibility," said Kristen Breitweiser, one of four New Jersey widows who lobbied Congress and the president to appoint the commission.

Kean promises "major revelations" in public testimony beginning next month from top officials in the FBI, CIA, Defense Department, National Security Agency and, maybe, unelected fraud and fascist punk Squinty McGolfcart and President Clinton.

_________________________________________________
O'Lielly caught in lie
"CONTROVERSY SWIRLS AROUND O'REILLY BOOK SALES CLAIMS" screams drudge.

Faux Nooze blowhard Bill O'Really recently claimed that he is "running against Hillary for most copies of nonfiction books sold this year!"

But numbers obtained by the drudge report show a dramatically different sales scene for 2003.

NIELSEN's BOOKSCAN placed O'Reilly at #6 for the year on the nonfiction charts, trailing rival Al Franken by nearly 30%!

The number represents scanned, purchased, sold and bagged copies at AMAZON, BARNES AND NOBLE, BORDER'S, COSTCO and other outlets (BOOKSCAN is generally considered to capture about 70-80% of total sales of all books sold in USA).

Slow news day.

_________________________________________________
PSM
Songs you shouldn't be caught singing at work

"Sex Farm" from This Is Spinal Tap is like the Halleluia Chorus compared to Clerks' "Berserker."

_________________________________________________
Mordor

Former Texas governor says Saddam should receive the "ultimate penalty."

D-ino John Breaux of Louisiana continues his legacy of being a dick by stepping down in 2004, leaving the seat open for a real rebooblican. Puh - maybe they'll erect a statue to him, too. Jackass.

Bush to undergo MRI on knees, sore from sucking up to too many campaign contributors.

"U.N. abandoning Iraq in its time of greatest need" - Well, who the hell's fault is THAT?? Is Richard S. Williamson really that much of a f*cking moron, or am I just reading this wrong?

W is Osama's dupe, by The Mahablog.




Everyplace else

Elf sex.

How Viggo got the role of Aragorn.

I'm missing the premiere of Return of the King because the BF is having his company dinner tonight.


Click to view full-size image.
NSFW!!

_________________________________________________
Flashback!
BFEE fixer will not join Iraq reconstruction

The Bush misadministration said yesterday that former secretary of state/nanny James Baker will not join the Iraq reconstruction effort, as some officials had hoped. Bunnypants' nursemaids said the lying bungler would support changes in the reconstruction effort only at Paul Bremer's request. Over the weekend, officials said that when the idea of reaching out to Baker was made public, it quickly became clear that it would be seen as undermining Bremer and any such notion was discarded.

- from July 28, 2003.

Yeesh, what a horrible day. It's raining, it's dark, I had to work all day, and the coffee sucked. I got nothing.


No weapons, no ties to 9/11, no truth
By Derrick Z. Jackson, in the Boston Globe:

The invasion was still a lie. The capture of Saddam Hussein changes nothing about that. There were too many forked tongues in the road to his lair. The way we removed the dictator, we became a global dictatorship.

No major reason for the war has been proven.

Bush told the world we were going to secure America and liberate Iraqis at the same time. With no weapons of mass destruction, with no nuclear weapons, and with no tie to 9/11, Saddam's capture could not possibly have been worth the lives of 455 US and 80 European soldiers. With no weapons of mass destruction, no nuclear weapons, and no tie to 9/11, it could not possibly been worth the lives of 7,600 to 45,000 Iraqi soldiers. With no rationale for the invasion, you could consider this a massacre.

And don't get me started on the $350 billion of taxpayer money.

_________________________________________________
Hastert covers up GOP bribe
A NY Times editorial (thanks to BuzzFlash).

_________________________________________________
'Den of Thieves'
Very cool - Stranger of Blah3 has posted mp3s of his completed songs, here -

Oil War: The first song recorded for this project. Democrats.com called it 'The first protest song for the 21st Century.'

Den of Thieves: Title track. Slow blues to mark the decline of an empire.

True: Apocalyptic reggae about our leader's compulsive drive to lie about everything.

Fear Machine: They control us by keeping us in fear. Lose the fear, and they own you no more.

Ray Of Hope: The most optimistic track of the bunch. The realization that this will end one day and we'll be able to claim back our optimism.

The song parody ABB.

_________________________________________________
Just in time for the holidays: the "Captured Saddam" action figure
Coming up, an artificially muscled George W. Bush doll, and French President Jacque Chirac in a "flouncy French maid's outfit."

_________________________________________________
PSM
I moved some links around and added a bunch from the Liberal Coalition. How do I get links to open in a new window???


"A donation in your name has
been made to the Human Fund."

I kill me.

_________________________________________________
God's favorite asshole wants medical records sealed
El Pigbo's lawyers filed a court action demanding that the hypocritical junkie's medical records not only remain sealed, but unavailable to prosecutors investigating his drug use.

The motion seeking a hearing on the issue says that Limbaugh has been harmed by the details of the prescription-drug investigation that were made public as part of the search warrants.

"No citizen would wish these highly personal details to be held by minions of the state to finger through at their leisure," the motion says. "Nor would any sane person wish his medical diagnosis and medical prescriptions to be widely published on television shows, tabloid newspapers, Web sites and the like.

"Mr. Limbaugh has already suffered the indignity of watching a list of his doctors and medications dramatically leafed though on air by television reporters. One can only imagine the exposure these records will receive if the state is allowed access to them."

Yeah, tell it to Bill Clinton.

_________________________________________________
Blog-a-palooza

Make your own Movie poster (thanks to Easy Bake Coven).

Gallery of picasso heads at Chapel Perilous.

Lots of good stuff at Bohemian Mama.

Norbizness really should've been at pReznit Stupid's press conference.

_________________________________________________
Collateral damage
"The US warmly courted Saddam in the 1980s as a potential ally and an Arab bulwark against the anti-American Iranian Islamic regime of Ayatollah Khomeini. Americans who, at the time, pushed for close links with Saddam's regime include Vice-President Dick Cheney and Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld....Bush may yet wish Saddam had been killed rather than captured alive." - - Professor Amin Saikal, director of the Centre for Arab and Islamic Studies.

"[P]rominent Americans could find themselves playing a role in what may be a very long, drawn-out and embarrassing trial. Imagine, for instance, seeing Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, former Presidents George Bush and Bill Clinton, and a parade of CIA directors and secretaries of state called as witnesses -- for the defense. Not to mention a clutch of headmen from other Western and Middle Eastern countries. This may be exactly what Saddam now craves: the chance to publicly implicate other leaders and countries in his own brutal past. It won't be difficult." - - Barry Lando, in Salon.

Shaking hands with Saddam.

_________________________________________________
The fix is in
The Supreme Court agreed Monday to decide whether Dick 'Chicanery' Cheney must disclose his contacts with energy executives, including some from Enron, as the Bush oil cartel drew up its energy policy.

The White House has spent the past two years fighting to keep those details secret. But a federal judge has ordered Cheney to either turn over his Energy Task Force's documents to environmentalists and a government watchdog group or provide a detailed list of the documents and the reasons for withholding them.

After a federal appeals court declined to review that decision, Justice Department lawyers representing Cheney appealed to their buds on the Supreme Court.

The case will be "argued" next spring and decided by July.


"Suckas!"

_________________________________________________
Halliburton handed yet another Iraq contract
Dick 'Chicanery' Cheney's "former" company, Halliburton, facing demands to pay back the money it has overcharged the American government for gas in Iraq, has won a $222m contract for work without competitive bidding.

The contract was awarded to Halliburton subsidiary Kellogg Brown and Root last week at the same time as a Pentagon audit showed it had charged $61m more than the market rate for fuel in Iraq.


"It's only this big,
but you'll feel every
inch of it."

"Try telling the families of these casualities how great it is that their kids died for GWB's election campaign." - - Cormee, 12/16/03.




"Everything was going wrong, and they got a real Christmas gift"
The reboobs' panties are in knots over comments made by Rep. Jim McDermott, D-Wash.

Asked if he thought the weekend capture of Saddam was timed to help Bush, McDermott, chuckled and said, "Yeah. Oh, yeah. There's too much by happenstance for it to be just a coincidental thing."

"It's funny," McDermott added, "when they're having all this trouble, suddenly they have to roll out something."

It's very sad - it's gotten to be pretty par for the course when everything that has to do with the misadministration is suspect.

_________________________________________________
Smells like a set-up
Why does it feel as though the whole "pResident Bush sends his regards" thing was a fake? You know, on the lines of "Did I just see Air Force One?"

_________________________________________________
Reboobs to erect statue to honor D-ino Zell Miller
Repuke Sen. Bill Stephens said he decided Miller should be honored after Jimmy Carter last week called Miller's appointment to the Senate "one of the worst mistakes" made.

In true Dem fashion, a top state legislator said his party will back the bill.

"We will support it and we should have initiated it," said DuBose Porter, D-Cluelessnumbfuck.

Here's the one they should put up:

_________________________________________________
Headlights...shiny...



Actual screen shot of unelected fascist Smirky McDumbass. Somebody at CNN is a national hero tonight.

_________________________________________________
Saddam Hussein was not in hiding; he was already a prisoner
Whoa.

Update: the Debka file, and from Tuesday: reboob Rep. Ray LaHood 'held his thumb and forefinger slightly apart' and said, "We're this close" to catching Saddam Hussein.

_________________________________________________
I bet
'Bush's political team was going to make sure he did not repeat the same mistake he made on the aircraft carrier Abraham Lincoln months ago when "Mission Accomplished!" was heralded. The White House first announced that a press pool would be admitted to the president's noon remarks Sunday, then reversed that judgment. Reporters were kept out to make sure there would be no dangerous question-and-answer period that might show Bush gloating. "If I had my way, the president wouldn't answer any questions between now and the election," said one Republican political operative.' - - Boob Novak reports.

Yerp. Saddam may be captured, but Bunnypants is still a lying dumbass fascist punk.

_________________________________________________
WH presswhore dreamt of Saddam capture
Somehow this is news.

At a party Saturday night in Washington Meet the Press gasbag and misadministration mouthpiece Tim Russert said that he had dreamt that Saddam Hussein had been captured.

WNCS anchor Miles O'Toole put Russert's dream in perspective, quipping that Russert had also often dreamt about performing threesomes with Bush and a greased-up Karl Rove wearing a Viking helmet and stiletto heels.



Update: Well well well. Lilith tells us that the party Timmy 'GE' Russert was at - along with other administration officials, as it turns out - was at at Don Rumsfeld's house.

_________________________________________________
Halliburton ripoffs? F*ck that, we got Saddam!
'Besides the tough questions surrounding Halliburton that may go unasked in the tide of Saddamania, there are other compelling issues which this glorious victory seems destined to sweep under the carpet. Where are those WMDs, anyway? How many civilians have we actually killed? Why are American service personnel still coming home in body bags, or with limbs missing?

'And given that the pre-war justifications for an attack have been systematically dismantled and discredited ad nauseum – no ties to 9/11, no nuclear program, no chemical weapons, no anything – why have we sacrificed our global credibility, the goodwill of much of the world, and hundreds of U.S. soldiers in the hellhole that Iraq has become? If the Bush administration has its way, the world may never know.' - - David B. Livingstone.

_________________________________________________
Facing reality
"Whether he's in a hole or in jail, it does nothing for me today, it won't feed me or protect me or send my children to school."

Iraqis, overjoyed at Saddam's capture, are still steamed at the misadministration as they contend daily with bloodshed, shortages and soaring prices under U.S. occupation.

"This is an oil country and it should be rich. It should not be Afghanistan."

Other drivers echoed the complaints of chronic fuel shortages in a country with the world's second-largest oil reserves, as well as of their treatment at the hands of troops who have killed civilians while hunting suspected Saddam partisans or pursuing criminals with Iraqi police.

"The Americans promised freedom and prosperity; what's this? Go up to their headquarters, at one of those checkpoints where they point their guns at you, and tell them that you hate them as much as Saddam, and see what they do to you," said Mohammad Saleh, 39, a building contractor. "The only difference is that Saddam would kill you in private, where the Americans will kill you in public."

"A lot of things -- safety, freedom, prosperity -- that we were supposed to have are gone. They promised many things, and now that they have caught Saddam maybe they kept one."

- - from Yahoo News.

The war on terrorism's number-one distraction
"[T]he apprehension of Hussein does not justify the war. In a way, it is the least that Bush could have done, after invading under false pretenses. He told the American public that it was necessary to bomb, invade and occupy Iraq - rather than engage in more aggressive weapons inspections - to neutralize the threat posed by Iraq's weapons of mass destruction. He claimed that his administration possessed incontrovertible proof that Hussein had such awful weapons and maintained operational links with al Qaeda. Seven months after entering Iraq, the Bush administration has not been able to produce evidence to support its central case for war." - - David Corn.


'Why am I even running when
George is so manly and superior?'

_________________________________________________
That should include YOU, dumbass
The arrest of Hussein "marks the end of the road for him and all who bullied and killed in his name." - - the lying AWOL fascist wonderboob.

_________________________________________________
The Capture Of Saddam Hussein Does Not Change AT ALL That This Nation Was Lied Into War And Our Soldiers Died As A Result

The time to be self righteous and holier than thou was not in the latter part of 2002 when this administration first started marketing this war like a half-off sale at J.C. Penney’s; and it was not in 2003 when the neo-cons coerced this uncurious, ignorant deserter in the White House to send our boys to die in Iraq. Rather, the time to get your edible undies in a wad was when the last generation of Republican thugs - namely Reagan and Bush I - were giving Saddam the dope he needed to be an evil bastard. That’s when you should have been concerned about the Kurds, or “his own people”, as they are now disingenuously referred to...

[D]id you happen to catch CNN media whore Judy Woodruff questioning General Wesley Clark? She asked him “Does this take Iraq off the table as an issue in the presidential campaign?” Excuse me, Judy? Are you saying the capture of the leader of a country excuses the lies that took us to war in the first place? She then asked the General “Last Tuesday in New Hampshire, you called president Bush a reckless, radical and heartless leader and you said the war in Iraq cast doubts on his competence to be commander in chief. Do you stand by those statements?” General Clark, to his credit, replied that he did indeed stand by them.

And then Woodruff, apparently left speechless by the General’s candor, stuttered and stammered for a couple of seconds, and finally found it within herself to ask with as much disdain and condemnation as she could possibly muster “At a time like this?” The only thing missing from her last comment was a well aimed hork in the General’s direction. Fortunately for him, he was appearing via overseas camera. So much for the "liberal" media.

Back to your “At a time like this?” question. Yes Judy, especially at a time like this. Jeez, you’re supposed to be a news reporter. Instead, you’re acting like a little girl who’s all excited by the attractive icing when you know full well the main ingredient of the cake was Texas Bull Crap. And let me help you out Judy. The fact that we’ve captured Saddam Hussein does not change the fact that Bush lied and 450 of our soldiers have died. What’s wrong with these reporters and hosts? Just like Halliburton excuses their crime by saying “Well, we didn’t profit from it,” I guess it’s also OK now to excuse the lies that took us into this war with Iraq; the ensuing war crimes that took place in Iraq; and the number of our boys who died in Iraq just by saying but we caught the leader of Iraq. Welcome to hypocrisy and stupidity run rampant in GOP Nation.

- - snipped from a BuzzFlash commentary by Las Vegas radio talk show host Doug Basham.

_________________________________________________
Why Joe Lieberman is still an asshole
"If Dean had had his way, Saddam would still be in power rather than in prison." - - quote by Whinerman as seen on the CNN crawl this morning.

F*cktard. It still doesn't make up for the fact that the misadministration lied to us about going into Iraq, you truly moronic patsy.

Update: here it is, thanks to Noozemax.

_________________________________________________
Blog showcase
This week: What is the point? from It's Craptastic!

_________________________________________________
"Ladies and gentleman - we got him" - - Paul Bremer.

Saddam captured near Tikrit?

_________________________________________________
pReznit Poopypants: no conflict of interest for Baker in Iraq
Close ties to the Saudis and Halliburton not withstanding.

When asked about an editorial in the New York Times on Friday that called on James Baker to sever his private-sector connections, Bush made a point of saying he does not read the newspaper's editorial page.

"They're all poopy-heads! And major-league assholes! Unca Dick said so!"

_________________________________________________
Release those papers, you secretive son of a b*tch!
No, not Howard Dean.

The Bush administration has removed from the public domain millions of pages of information on health, safety, and environmental matters, lowering a shroud of secrecy over many critical operations of the federal government.

The administration's efforts to shield the actions of, and the information held by, the executive branch are far more extensive than has been previously documented. And they reach well beyond security issues.

- - Read more here.


Unelected fascist Emperor Snippy

Somehow I've got to do some Christmas shopping today.


Neo-ineptitude
"Face it, who out there really believes that some French company would be awarded a contract at the expense of, say, Halliburton?"

THE UNITED STATES has a mess on its hands in Iraq, and the man who may have done more than anyone else to bring that about shot his own country in the foot yet again this week.

What we have instead is a place where U.S. soldiers are killed every day by a foe who still hasn't really been identified yet, where one-third of the Iraqi security force trained at the Pentagon's behest just quit (taking their training with them, presumably), where people throughout the Arab world find a reason to join in denunciations of the United States, and where the administration keeps finding new ways to alienate potential Western allies.

It's time for Mr. Wolfowitz to go.

- - And take Dick and Dumbya with you. From an editorial in the Baltimore Sun.

_________________________________________________
Is this thing working?
I added an RSS thingie to the blog. I think. I have no idea how it's supposed to work or if I did it correctly. Could someone please let me know?

_________________________________________________
Uhhhhhh, bad example
"I hate to say it, it sounds so awful, but the guy with the most sexual charisma wins. Bush looks real good in jeans. He's hot. Then he opens his mouth. That makes it impossible." - - from Jimmy Breslin's interview with an in-drag Tweety Matthews (thanks to The Mahablog).


Unelectable dumbass
Dumbya Bush.

_________________________________________________
Customers who bought this also bought:

Choking your Chicken: the mAnn Coulter Pop-up book

Joe Lieberman's Pity Party Recipes, featuring chopped liver

I Never Cried at Barbara's Funeral, by Ted Olson

The Love of a Good, Faithful Dog, by Rick Santorum

Coffee table books of the damned.

_________________________________________________
How the reboobs are keeping us safe from terrizm
The United Nations may be forced to abandon its efforts to stabilize Afghanistan because of rising violence blamed on the resurgent Taliban.

_________________________________________________
Ah tol' you - quit humpin' ma leg!
Sick, twisted pReznit Poopypants prepares to slam WH pet Barney with white bowling bowl while onlooker cowers in horror.

_________________________________________________
A Rush job to save face
Jeebus, no.

Hypocritical junkie Rush Limbaugh came up with a secret plan to save his cystic, pasty ass after the news came out that the vile windbag was gobbling handfuls of hillbilly heroin as if they were donuts, which are NOT illegal, btw.

Reeking of desperation, the plan involved taking up the Bob Dole's offer to help the loudmouth f*ck, and suggesting he write a "supportive letter" to Newsweek. It also recommended doing a survey of El Pigbo's self-fellating listeners to "gauge their reaction to Limbaugh's embarrassing admission," to send memos to Congress, to provide addresses for his mouthbreathing audience of dittomonkeys to send supportive letters to his advertisers, and to "alert the [Wall Street Journal]." Surprisingly, blaming the whole thing on Bill and/or Hillary Clinton was not listed as an alternative.

Fun fact: The National Enquirer reported Wednesday that "the police web is tightening around Rush Limbaugh" and that he could be arrested in days.

_________________________________________________
So who got handicapped for a short putter?
Scary google search for national+security+conference+nude+golfing showed up on my site meter this morning. Well, there goes breakfast.

_________________________________________________
The flaccid hammer
Tom 'Bugsy' DeLay yellow-tails it down fire-escape to avoid reporters during federal trial to oppose the redistricting map adopted by the Texas Legislature in October. DeLay, R-Insane, brokered the final deal, but was too chickenshit to take responsibility for it, the f*cking coward.

A Baghdad Thanksgiving's lingering aftertaste
Or How Stars and Stripes is bucking for a court-martial.

By Dana Milbank of the WaPo:

Stars and Stripes is blowing the whistle on President Bush's Thanksgiving visit to Baghdad, saying the cheering soldiers who met him were pre-screened and others showing up for a turkey dinner were turned away. The newspaper, quoting two officials with the Army's 1st Armored Division in an article last week, reported that "for security reasons, only those preselected got into the facility during Bush's visit. . . . The soldiers who dined while the president visited were selected by their chain of command, and were notified a short time before the visit."

Of more concern, air traffic controllers in Britain are seething over the flight, in which the president's 747, falsely identified as a Gulfstream, traveled through British airspace. Prospect, the controllers union in the United Kingdom, says the flight broke international regulations, posed a potential safety threat and exposed a weakness in the air defense system that could be exploited by terrorists.

"The overriding concern is if the president's men who did this can dupe air traffic control, what's to stop a highly organized terrorist group from duping air traffic control?" asked David Luxton, Prospect's national secretary. Luxton said the flight was in "breach" of regulations against filing false flight plans set by the International Civil Aviation Organization, which he said should apply to a military aircraft using civilian airspace.

The 1st Armored Division officials told Stars and Stripes that all soldiers had the opportunity to get a proper Thanksgiving meal -- possibly more than the newspaper's editors will get in Guantanamo next year.'

Ho ho.

_________________________________________________
You're not gonna eat that, are you?
Animal, vegetable, or porno - you make the call.

_________________________________________________
Let freedom ring
Anti-Bush drawing called 'hate speech'

SAN FRANCISCO -- An award-winning drawing blaming pResident Evil for the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks was pulled from a small-town exhibit over "insurance issues" after a businessman withdrew his $300 prize and called the piece a form of "hate speech."

In the 11-inch-by-14-inch drawing, a crown and halo-topped Bush stands on a grave, his hand dripping with blood as bodies fall to the ground from the World Trade Center towers in the distance.

God bless America.

_________________________________________________
Why does he hate Amurka?
O'Really: Dumbya a xenophobic, petulant whiny-ass punk.

_________________________________________________
Halliburton may have overcharged millions
In other news, no duh!

Auditors found that Dick 'Chicanery' Cheney's "former" company overcharged the Army by as much as $61 million for gasoline in Iraq, but {cough} may not have {cough choke} profited {cough} from it, at least that's tonight's story.

Congress' General Accounting Office also found in 1997 and 2000 that subsidiary KBR had billed the Army for questionable expenses on its support contracts for operations in the Balkans. Those reviews cited instances such as charging $85.98 per sheet of plywood that cost $14.06 and billing the Army for cleaning some offices up to four times per day.

_________________________________________________
Dow hits 10,000 today
In other news, company Maru works for still fucked up after 3 years of George W Bush, over 2000 employees face shitcanning by the end of 1Q04, so bite me.

_________________________________________________
Not that it'll help
If anyone's curious as to what I look like, here are two self-portraits using Mr Picassohead.

_________________________________________________
King me, baby

A mighty end to Jackson's trilogy, from BBC News (via Hesiod).

Trailers, interviews and film clips from LOTR.

The Two Towers, badger style. The look on Theoden's face is priceless.

A brief synopsis of Tolkien's books.

With The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Peter Jackson delivers a decent ending to his fantasy trilogy — actually, about 12.

_________________________________________________
Lost in translation?
We seem to be popular in Japan. I think it's in a good way because we haven't been 'freeped' at all yet, though when we get email that says "@‚Ý‚¶‚ß‚ÈŽ¸”sŽÒ ???????????" it's pretty hard to tell. Hello, anyway, and hope you're enjoying the site!

_________________________________________________
We'd like to thank the Academy...
WTF Is It Now?! has won the coveted You Gotta Laugh to Keep From Crying Award in The River's Year-end Blogger Awards.

We are humbled and thankful, and will have a cigar in Bruce's honor tonight.

_________________________________________________
Plans to deploy new Iraqi military in doubt after one-third quit
'If pReznit Flightsuit could go AWOL, that's good enough for me.'

At press conferences and in speeches, Don Rumsfeld and others have repeatedly trumpeted the growth of Iraqi security forces — announcing breakneck speed in recruiting and training. Well, there was breakneck speed in deserting, also.

_________________________________________________
'A Weapons Inspector Calls'
Director Justin Butcher, who wrote The Madness of George Dubya, has done it again.

'The play, which takes its title from the classic stage thriller "An Inspector Calls" by British playwright J.B. Priestley, depicts Bush as a tongue-tied fool who refuses to believe there are no banned weapons in Iraq.

'"We know they're there because Donald's got the invoices," he tells the inspector, to the despair of his shrewd, irascible Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld.

'It mercilessly pours scorn on Bush, Tony Blair and their increasingly desperate efforts to justify the decision to invade Iraq.'

_________________________________________________
The Coward of Crawford's kowtow
"Yesterday President Bush essentially placed the United States on the side of the dictators who promise war, rather than the democrats whose threat is a ballot box. His gift to visiting Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao was to condemn 'the comments and actions made by the leader of Taiwan' while ignoring the sanguinary rhetoric of the man standing next to him. Mr. Bush had his reasons for doing so -- above all to avoid one more foreign policy crisis during an election year. But in avoiding a headache for himself, he demonstrated again how malleable is his commitment to the defense of freedom as a guiding principle of U.S. policy." - - from an editorial in the WaPo.

US experts greet Bush's comments with shock
American legal experts described George W. Bush's concession to Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao yesterday as "disgusting."

President of International League for Human Rights Scott Horton said that he was "shocked" to hear Bush's remarks and he believed Bush did not speak for the majority of the American people whom past surveys have shown to support Taiwan's self-determination and referendum rights.

"I don't think the Bush administration and its senior foreign policy advisors care even a second about the referendum issue in Taiwan. It's not important to them. What is important to them now is to bring China along as a collaborator in the North Korea talks."

Conservatives 'appalled' by Bush's anti-democracy move on Taiwan
"To conservatives, it was a shocking scene. Bush sat chatting chummily in the Oval Office on Tuesday with the premier of communist China and harshly rebuked the democratically elected leader of the United States' old friend and ally, Taiwan. 'The only word I can use is 'appalled'," said John Tkacik, a China specialist at the conservative Heritage Foundation and a staunch administration supporter. Behind the jarring imagery, however, was a simple message. The Bush administration believes that it cannot afford a political crisis that could draw the United States into a war over Taiwan while it has its hands more than full with Iraq, Afghanistan and North Korea [as well as the 2004 campaign]."

_________________________________________________
Humane group slams Cheney for 'canned' hunt
Manly sportsman Dick 'dick' Cheney is being criticized for shooting duck and pheasant "in a barrel" Monday at the exclusive PA Rolling Rock Club (see VP takes time from busy fundraising schedule to hunt varmints, Monday, December 08).

An employee of the private club said that Cheney shot about 70 stocked pheasants and mallards that were released for a group of hunters. More than 400 of the farm-raised birds were killed in all.

The Humane Society on Tuesday called it a "deplorable" form of hunting, because the pen-reared birds are not in their natural habitat. The HSUS also questioned the ethics of what it calls "canned hunts."

"This wasn't a hunting ground. It was an open-air abattoir, and the vice president should be ashamed to have patronized this operation and then slaughtered so many animals."

_________________________________________________
U.S. poll finds support for UN -- except by rebooblicans
A Zogby poll released on Wednesday found support for the UN among three out of five, or 59 percent, of Americans. A major exception was among neocons and the brainwashed dittomonkey mouthbreathers, who still can't get over the fact that the UN got the Iraq situation right, and the misadministration's liars and powermad warmongers wrong.

Bush Cartel Iraq bids delayed after global backlash
CNN -- The Bushies are facing a backlash from many countries over its decision to bar some of its biggest trading partners from bidding for Iraqi reconstruction projects, including possible legal action.

"I find it really very difficult to fathom," said incoming Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin. "There's a huge amount of suffering going on there, and I think it is the responsibility of every country to participate in developing [Iraq.]"

White House spokes-hamster Scott McClellan said the decision to limit the list was "totally appropriate."

"The United States and the coalition countries, as well as others that are contributing forces to the efforts there and the Iraqi people themselves, are the ones that have been helping and sacrificing to build a free and prosperous nation," he said. "I think it is totally appropriate for U.S. taxpayers' dollars to go to the entities I just mentioned." Gee, thanks, Scott.

On Wednesday, a Pentagon spokesman said a postponement of bidding for 26 contracts, which was set to begin, was "unrelated to the controversy."

_________________________________________________
Why do they hate America?
Two Republican U.S. congressmen just back from a trip to Iraq urged pReznit AWOL on Tuesday to accept an independent panel to audit U.S. operations there, and called on him to acknowledge mistakes that they said set back Iraq's recovery by months.

Reps. Frank Wolf of Virginia and Christopher Shays of Connecticut also urged the misadministration to give Iraqis a bigger voice in rebuilding their own country, and to show more " humility" in sharing power and being open to differing ideas, and to look into efforts to determine whether tax dollars were being wasted.

The congressmen also said Bunnypants should redouble efforts to get more international help in Iraq. They obviously didn't read the papers this morning.
�

_________________________________________________
House approves bill to censor American citizens from voicing opposition to war on drugs
El Pigbo: 'no comment, folks'

Provision in Federal Spending Bill awaits vote by Senate – passage would ban advertising about medical marijuana and other important drug policy issues, while $145 million in taxpayer money is spent on pro-drug war ads.

Drug Policy Alliance urges Senate to grow some 'nads, protect free speech and end government propaganda.

_________________________________________________
Update
New f*cking stuff at Get Your War On.

_________________________________________________
Doesn't explain painting of dogs playing poker, though.
Krakatoa eruption suggested for reason of sky's color in Edvard Munch's The Scream. Either that, or he was totally nuts.

_________________________________________________
Cruisin’ for a bruisin’
No luxury liner can insulate the GOP from New York’s masses.

'The plan by House Majority Leader, Tom "the Hammer" DeLay, to quarantine Republican politicians, donors, delegates and assorted other GOPers out on a cruise ship in the Hudson during next year’s Republican National Convention has been sunk. But for Bush opponents, there sure is a lot of blood in the water. With Democrats hooting and howling, and many fellow Republicans quietly wincing, DeLay caved, but only after letting the controversy play out for a while, so determined was he to have his colleagues stay docked off Manhattan Island. The dramatic debacle revealed that the Republicans–including Tough Guy DeLay – are wimps of the first order, scared to death of mingling among the Clinton-loving, sodomite-friendly masses.' - - Michelangelo Signorile.

_________________________________________________
Keeping it in the family
The Bush cartel crime family

The United States government is paying Dick 'Chicanery' Cheney's "former" company Halliburton, which has the exclusive US contract to import fuel into Iraq, an average of $2.64 a gallon to import gasoline and other fuel to that country from Kuwait - more than twice what others are paying to truck in fuel, government documents show. Independent experts who reviewed Halliburton's percentage of its gas importation contract said the company's 26-cent charge per gallon of gas from Kuwait appeared to be extremely high.

I'm having one of those dreadfully sleepy, what's-the-point sort of days.



If you weren't with him, you were against him. And he was against you.
On the margins of George Bush's America

'By winning office with a negative 540,000-vote margin and then proceeding to govern in the most relentlessly partisan fashion from the right, the president has made unmistakably clear that the concerns of Democrats are of no interest to him. On Capitol Hill, meanwhile, the Republican leadership relies solely on Republican votes to get its measures passed, going so far as to exclude mainstream Democrats from conference committees. When America's new laws are to be negotiated, Republicans talk only to themselves.' - - From Dean's Band of Outsiders in the WaComPo.

_________________________________________________
I give up
IE is acting up tonight, and everything just looks too bizarre on Netscape. Jaffa, the fat orange cat, is crushing the box that some of the Christmas presents are being stored in, and the new fountain I got to help me relax is spitting water all over and making those shluck shluck sounds that a friend of mine makes when she's imitating somebody jerking off.

I'm going to take some Nyquil and go to bed.

_________________________________________________
The Bush recoverination

SBC to cut 3,000 to 4,000 jobs. In the past two years, the company has eliminated 28,000 jobs to offset an industrywide slump triggered by a global economic slowdown and intensified competition.

Struggling department store chain J.C. Penney plans to close 12 more of its department stores by the end of the year. In its quarterly report filed late Monday, the retailer said it would have closed a total of 25 of U.S.-based department stores by the end of the year, with 13 of the closings having already taken place.

Washington Mutual, the biggest U.S. thrift, plans to fire 2,900 of its mortgage lending and administrative staff in the first quarter as gains from home loans decline.

Tyson Foods said it is closing two meat processing plants in New Hampshire and Maine, putting more than 700 people out of work in February.

Struggling drug maker Schering-Plough Corp. said Thursday (12/4) it will slash at least 10 percent of its payroll expenses in a cost-cutting move that could cut an additional 2,000 jobs.

FAO Schwarz, which announced this week it had filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, may have to close some of its stores. 4,900 jobs will likely be lost.

Newell Rubbermaid Inc. said Tuesday it expects to post a fourth-quarter loss and lowered its 2003 and 2004 earnings estimates. It also announced that it will eliminate 850 jobs in Wooster, Ohio, once the showpiece headquarters city of Rubbermaid Inc.

Santa Clara County supervisors may have to cut 2,500 employees to offset an anticipated deficit of $381 million to $481 million in the upcoming fiscal year.

- - seen at the BC Forum.

_________________________________________________
Un-f*cking-believable
U.S. Shuts Out France, Germany for Iraq Work

From here: 'U.S. Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz has ruled that lucrative, prime contracts to rebuild Iraq must exclude firms from nations such as France and Germany that opposed the U.S. war effort, said a document released on Tuesday.

'The announcement followed discussions over which countries should benefit from a slew of reconstruction contracts to be advertised in coming days that are being funded by $18.6 billion appropriated by the U.S. Congress.'

Even though they turned out to be right about everything. God, what a bunch of petulant little crybaby f*cktards we have in the WH. I thought the "grownups" were supposed to be in charge?

Idiots.

_________________________________________________
A man of great integrity and decency
Former Senator Paul Simon has died in hospital after undergoing surgery yesterday on his heart. He was 75.

He was scheduled Thursday to announce his support for Democratic presidential contender Howard Dean but suffered shortness of breath and ended up in Springfield's St. John's Hospital.

_________________________________________________
Now playing in 2,600 home theaters: Bush's lies about Iraq
'[Film director Robert] Greenwald wants to make sure that the administration's prewar claims don't disappear down the memory hole now that most of them have proven false. To this end, he compiles footage of Bush and Condoleezza Rice warning of mushroom clouds and of Paul Wolfowitz telling Congress that Iraq can pay for its own reconstruction. Lately, conservative pundits like Andrew Sullivan have claimed that the administration never suggested that Iraq was an imminent threat. Greenwald offers an implicit rejoinder with a montage that begins with Bush saying, "Delay, indecision and inaction could lead to a massive and sudden horror." It then cuts to Rice, who says, "It simply makes no sense to wait any longer." Then Rumsfeld: "Take action, before it's too late." And Bush: "We will not wait." The sequence ends with Vice President Dick Cheney saying, "As President Bush has said, time is not on our side."' - - Salon.

PSM
George W. Bush: The Most Toxic Person Of 2003.

_________________________________________________
The plot thickens
Bush desperately covering up his 8-6-01 briefing on Al Qaeda

"The Bush administration is trying to withhold documents from the 9/11 bipartisan commission. I believe one of the things that they do not want to be known is what happened on August 6, 2001. It was on that day that George W. Bush received his last, and one of the few, briefings on terrorism. I believe he told Richard Clarke that he didn't want to be briefed on this again, even though Clarke was panicked about the alarms he was hearing regarding potential attacks. Bush was blithe, indifferent, ultimately irresponsible. The public has a right to know what happened on August 6, what Bush did, what Condi Rice did, what all the rest of them did, and what Richard Clarke's memos and statements were. Then the public will be able to judge exactly what this presidency has done" - - Sidney Blumenthal.

_________________________________________________
'Moot point'? Andrew Card: national disgrace, just like his boss
"[A]s people like Card keep hoping you will forget, Saddam Hussein's WMD stockpiles and programs were the fundamental reason the United States went to war in Iraq. Yes, there were secondary reasons as well, some of which Card mentioned. But without the WMD threat to the United States and its friends, never would the American people or the U.S. Senate have consented to war. They were assured the administration had a rock-solid WMD case against Iraq. And so the United States invaded Iraq, despite the misgivings of some of its closest allies.

"The American people were misled into war. That failure hardly qualifies as a 'moot point.' The price paid so far, and to be paid for who knows how long into the future, is just too horrific." - - from an editorial in the Star Tribune.

_________________________________________________
Speaking of privileged GOP liars
Gropinator: 'get over it!'

Says it's "time to move on."

The groping meatpuppet, now safe in the governator's chair, has pulled an abrupt about-face on his own pledge to investigate himself on sexual harassment charges.

''The governor, after consulting with legal counsel and advisers, has determined that an investigation would be rather pointless given the political nature that this has taken on,'' said Arnold's communications director.

Accountability. Apparently it only applies to the penises of Democrats.

_________________________________________________
Good riddance
Convicted scumbag Bill "whee!" Janklow resigns from Congress, still has driver's licence.

"Therefore I wish to inform you that I will resign from the House of Representatives, effective Jan. 20, 2004."

That's the same day he's scheduled to be sentenced for second-degree manslaughter for his high-speed crash that killed Randy Scott, 55.

Jebus - Vietnam or Nazi Germany?
"This fence is here for your protection. Do not approach or try to cross, or you will be shot."



Karl? Kin ah still tell 'em things are goin' great?
A suicide bomber blew up a car packed with explosives at the gates of a military barracks on Tuesday, injuring 41 American troops and six Iraqi civilians. Hours earlier, three U.S. soldiers died and one was injured in an accident when an embankment collapsed beneath their armored personnel carriers north of Baghdad, the military said Tuesday.

The deaths bring to 448 the number of US soldiers who have died in Iraq since the Bush Cartel-led invasion began on March 20.

This just in -
US chopper down, hit by RPG near Fallujah.

_________________________________________________
Wild Bill Janklow found guilty!
A South Dakota jury has found Rep. Bill Janklow guilty of all charges against him.

The jury foreman read "guilty" to each of the four counts: speeding, running a stop sign, reckless driving and second-degree manslaughter in the death of motorcyclist Randy Scott.

The last is a felony and carries a maximum penalty of up to 10 years in prison and a $10,000 fine. He also faces a House ethics committee investigation that could lead to his shitcanning {Ed.: "could"?!} . Sentencing is set for Jan. 20.

Janklow appeared stunned as the verdict was read. "I can't believe they found a republican guilty! If I had been Bill Clinton..."

Eat it, puke. And start stocking up on lubricant, you miserable waste of oxygen.

_________________________________________________
This just in
Al Gore is set to endorse Howard Dean, sources say.

"What am I, chopped liver?" asks sore Lieberman.

_________________________________________________
And that's not even the worst quote
"We want results in every single classroom so that one single child is left behind." - - the Flaming Moron, at an 11/03 fundraiser.

_________________________________________________
Novakula, rapidly approaching senility
Email buddy tsn sends us this by Teresa Simon-Noble from OpEdNews.Com:

I got your number, Bob Novak. According to what you serve your guests in the Crossfire it is now a high moral sin to speak against George W. Bush, his war, his policies, his adolescent knack for high drama, photo-op opportunities and remakes of WWII great-escape-movie-scenes of people trying to escape from the iron curtain or Nazi Germany...

[S]oon, if not already, it will be a crime against the constitution to speak the truth about a dishonest, power-and-control obsessed man named George W. Bush who sits at the Oval Office because his father’s friends put him there.

Yerp, to WH punditwhores like Boob Novak, anti-Bush speech is demagoguery, or sour grapes, or is caused by a psychosis or too-tight underpants, and more and more often now you hear that it should be considered treasonous.

Hell, at least I admit I'm an asshole.

_________________________________________________
LOL, I'm Faramir, the biggest asshole in Middle Earth.


Congratulations! You're Faramir!


Which Lord of the Rings character and personality problem are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

_________________________________________________
Let freedom ring
Students suspended for booing, not shaking hand of Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney during visit.

God bless Amurka.

_________________________________________________
Zogby poll: Bunnypants still a turkey
Bush job performance: Positive: 49%, Negative 51%

Miserable failure pReznit Poopstain’s unannounced trip to have a Thanksgiving day photo-op with hand-picked troops in Baghdad has had relatively little impact on his job performance rating, which remains relatively unchanged from Mid-October and early November polling.


'So where'm ah fundraisin' tomorrow, Karl?'

_________________________________________________
Quote of the day
"If Rush Limbaugh suffers "extreme pain" brought on by this back condition, what the hell is he doing playing in pro-celebrity golf tournaments like the American Century Championship?" - - from the Top 10 Conservative Idiots.

_________________________________________________
VP takes time from busy fundraising schedule to hunt varmints
Dick 'dick' Cheney is spending the day at the exclusive Rolling Rock Club game preserve in Pennsylvania, shooting ducks, pheasants, and his mouth off, so he'll have an excuse to charge it to us taxpayers.

_________________________________________________
The Bush recovery

Miserable failure Bush is claiming that new unemployment claims are down - but he fails to mention that the number of people who have become unemployed in the past year and have stayed that way has steadily grown. So, while the number of people who have been unemployed for just five weeks is down from Nov. 2002, the number of those who have been unemployed more than 27 weeks has grown by a stunning 268,000, while the average number of weeks unemployed has gone from 18 to 20. How many tens of thousands of unemployed have fallen off the records because they are no longer seeking work?

If miserable liar Bush told the truth, he'd admit that while the number of jobs is increasing, the number of people working 40-hour jobs has not increased. Why? Because the number of people holding more than one job, especially those working more than one part-time job has grown, while the number of people with one sufficient full-time job has declined. In addition, the number of eligible workers who have dropped out of the labor force has increased by 1.6 million. In short, if the Liar-in-Chief went by the number of people working- not the number of jobs - the truth about the economy would be frightening (thanks to democrats.com).

_________________________________________________
Texas reboobs support Chi-com child labor!
The speaker of the Texas House of Representatives is under fire and having his state pride questioned, all because he decorated the House floor with a giant made-in-China plastic Christmas tree.

The state's tree growers are up in arms over the 15-foot polyvinyl chloride tree that Speaker Tom Craddick had installed on the House floor.

"I think people can deduce for themselves about what it means to have a plastic Christmas tree from China in the Texas State House," said Lanny Dreesen, a spokesman for the Texas Christmas Tree Growers Association.

The horror....the horror.

_________________________________________________
The tone has definitely changed

Not only will the GOP say just about anything to get what it wants, its actions are increasingly goonish. To get their drug-industry-friendly Medicare bill through the House, Republican leaders delayed a middle-of-the-night roll-call vote for nearly three hours -- such votes normally take no more than 20 minutes -- as they wielded threats and enticements to round up the two additional votes they needed for passage of this squalid sellout of the nation's elderly. Mr. Bush thought that was fine, just as he apparently endorsed the off-year scam to redistrict Texas to the GOP's advantage. Nor is he known to have objected to congressional Democrats being completely shut out of conference-committee negotiations over critical legislation on health care and energy policy, an unprecedented abrogation of the democratic process.

Democratic bitterness over this Republican abuse of power is both intense and understandable. For Mr. Bush won election with half a million votes fewer than Al Gore, and the reasonable expectation was that his party would see how split the electorate was and would govern from just right of center. The GOP hard-right tilt -- gutting or "privatizing" social programs, shoveling cash at the super-rich, waging a deadly and financially ruinous war against the wrong foe -- is seen by roughly half the country as both a mistake and a betrayal. Instead of uniting the nation, as promised -- a feat that would have been easy in the post-9/11 burst of common patriotism -- Republicans turned into thuggish opportunists. History will not treat them kindly, and next year's voters shouldn't either.

From an editorial in the Berkshire Eagle.

_________________________________________________
White House criticizes Kerry's profanity, says he should apologize
Awwwwww. Jebus's faverit misadministration is offended at John Kerry. I don't remember them apologizing when Bunnypants the Bold boldly said "F*ck Saddam" and then made sure it was carried by all their WH presstitutes. Or when he called a NY Times reporter a "major-league asshole." Or the time he said he and his dad talk about "pussy."

_________________________________________________
Like a bad case of diarrhea, Andy Card covered the talk shows this weekend
Card dismisses questions over prewar intelligence as 'moot'

What a card!
Remember why we had to go into Iraq? The smoking mushroom clouds? The "massive stockpiles of biological weapons that has never been accounted for and is capable of killing millions"? I'm sure the families of all the troops who died or lost limbs over there will be glad to hear that the WH is now just writing it all off as a whoops, my bad, what's for lunch sort of thing.

"When you go there today, and you see some of the mass graves of the dead, where he murdered his own people, you just can't help but think that we are much better off," White House chief of staff Andy Card said on CNN's Late Edition. "So I think it's a moot point."

"We think there's evidence of some programs that they had," he went on to say.


Accountability
The White House is trying to back itself away from a TV ad that portrays The Empty Flight-Suit-in-Chief as a fighter of terrorism and says his Democratic opponents "are now attacking the president for attacking the terrorists," by blaming it on their lackeys in the RNC.

"The Republican National Committee is not the president's re-election campaign," Andy Card said on CNN with a straight face. But he also said the content of the ad was "appropriate."

Not content with that pile o' bullshite, he went on the WH Propaganda Network Fox on Sunday to say Bunnypants "is taking an appropriate line on spending. He is a great watchdog for the taxpayers' money."

Campaigning in California, Sen. John Kerry managed somehow not to use the f-word: "Spending is up, the government is larger than it's been in years, and this is the administration that's promised to cut both. They ought to win a Pulitzer Prize for fiction if they can pass that one on."

Ba-dum-bum.

_________________________________________________
Sean Hannity defends Commander-in-Chief against barely-clad models

HANNITY: And also, you say that he's an election hijacking, economy wrecking, warmongering chimp and a bozo president. Is that the kind of language you want to be associated with?

DAVID LIVINGSTONE, Babes Against Bush CALENDAR PROMOTER: Yes.

As seen on World o' Crap.

Must-have!
The George W Bush GI Joke action figure! This is pretty good - make sure you read the box!



Press pique over secrecy of the Turkey's trip to Baghdad "suggests isolation from American people"
Brandeen! Get me ma Toby Keith cd an' ma shotgun!

Talk about being out-of-touch. Get a load of Richard Benedetto, WH whore for USA Toady:

[M]any journalists have concluded that the trip was little more than a publicity stunt and one more example of an administration prone to misleading the American people. Consider this question asked by a reporter at Thursday's White House briefing by press secretary Scott McClellan:

"So the White House has no compunctions about having misled the American people on this trip?"

If most Washington reporters are upset, it is one more example of how out of touch they are with the people they are charged with informing.

F*cktard. What is he, a regular at RimJob's Darwin Award Pitstop? Good gravy. Somebody get this idiot a job at Fux.

_________________________________________________
Miserable failure makes the papers
'Google figures out what everyone else already knew...'

Newsday reports: A search for the phrase "miserable failure" on Google brings up the biography of George W. Bush on the official White House Web site, in one of the more prominent search-engine manipulations with political overtones.

The phrase appears nowhere in the bio. But computer users rigged the search engine results by posting the phrase on Web pages and linking it to the Bush bio, in a technique called Google bombing.

"I thought it was absolutely one of the funniest ideas I've ever heard," said Don Waller, owner a Web design company in New York, told the paper. "This is just one of those spontaneous things that a blogger will post something and other bloggers will say, 'This is a great idea.'"

White House spokesman Ken Lisaius had no comment.

_________________________________________________
Reposted: how Bush stage-managed campaign photo-op
'Bush took the stage with the owners of two small auto supply companies and four workers for what was billed as a conversation.

'The six Metro Detroiters involved in the conversation rehearsed for hours Sunday. At times, Bush prompted them to mention prearranged topics, reminding one worker that he'd been able to refinance his home at low interest rates and another that he'd saved $2,700 through recent tax cuts.

'The White House created a backdrop especially for the occasion, meant to project Bush's empathy for industry. Each of three banners were emblazoned with the words "Strengthening America's Economy."'

_________________________________________________
Meanwhile, Kenny-Boy still enjoying the percs of being a Bush pal
A former top executive at Enron has been indicted on conspiracy and fraud charges in connection with the company's manipulation of energy markets during California's power crisis.

John Forney, 41, of Ohio, is the third Enron official indicted on allegations of manipulating California's electricity prices from Enron's office in Portland, Ore.

_________________________________________________
Gee, not that easy, is it, Ahnold?
Putz. The Groping Meatpuppet is running into a little trouble in Caleeforneea.

_________________________________________________
Ho ho!
Which historical lunatic are you? Find out here. Funny how my alter-ego would turn out to be French.

_________________________________________________
Reboobs, keeping us safe from terrism
The US, desperate for translators and interrogators in the war on terrorism, have kicked out two after they skipped class so they could attend services for Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the Jewish year.

_________________________________________________
Baron Bunnypants' numbers still remain below 50 percent
And that's according to a new Fux Nooze poll. In the same poll, 47% want his lying indolent ass out of the WH.

_________________________________________________
Democrats vow to avenge 2000 Florida loss
From the AP: 'Rekindling bitter memories, Democratic leaders accused President Bush of stealing the 2000 presidential election in Florida and pledged Saturday to avenge that loss next year."

Symbolically, the Dems happened to be meeting at Disney World.

_________________________________________________
Wag the Turkey
From Newsweek: 'Bush’s Thanksgiving in Baghdad was the latest in a string of expertly staged presidential image-burnishing media productions.

'The revelation is the latest in a series of stagecrafted moments designed to shine an impossibly perfect light on the president. Turkeygate unfolded merely one day after British Airways announced that none of its pilots made contact with President Bush’s plane during its secret flight to Baghdad, despite White House claims of a dramatic midair exchange that nearly prompted Bush to call off his trip.

'On May 1, Bush landed on the deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln and, in front of a giant banner emblazoned MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, declared “major combat operations have ended.” Six month later he would deny that his staff had hung the banner there, though there’s little doubt they had. To give a speech in New York after September 11, Bush brought in extremely powerful lights to illuminate the Statue of Liberty behind him; for a talk he delivered at Mount Rushmore, cameras were positioned so Bush’s profile was perfectly aligned with the presidents carved in stone.'


"Karl, you said nobody'd know! Karl? Karl?"

_________________________________________________
Website of the day
The Smoking Gun has the Rush Limbaugh search warrants posted:

Rush Limbaugh illegally purchased hundreds of prescription pills a month and sought a quartet of doctors to fuel his drug addiction, according to search warrant applications unsealed yesterday in Palm Beach County Circuit Court. Investigators executing the searches, which took place November 25 at three offices used by Limbaugh's South Florida physicians, accused the radio personality of "doctor shopping," or improperly seeking out practitioners to supply him with an inordinate abundance of painkillers OxyContin, Lorcet, Norco, Hydrocodone and Kadian, the anti-anxiety drug Xanax, the cholesterol-lowering drug Niacin, and Clonodine, which treats high blood pressure. The affidavits, one of which you'll find below, indicate that authorities began investigating the talk-show host last December after meeting with Wilma Cline, Limbaugh's former maid, and her husband, who told them that they sold Limbaugh "large quantities" of pharmaceutical drugs "over the course of many years."

Under Florida law, doctor shopping is punishable by up to five years in prison.

The weather outside is frightful,
But we got some kid to plow us
So as long as it wants to snow
Let it blow let it blow let it blow.

OK, it doesn't quite work, but I haven't had my coffee yet, dammit!



Quote of the day already
"Worse than incompetent. Clouded by ideological excess, a misinterpretation of history, a willful denial of facts... I mean, when I voted for the war, I voted for what I thought was best for the country. Did I expect Howard Dean to go off to the left and say, "I'm against everything"? Sure. Did I expect George Bush to fuck it up as badly as he did? I don't think anybody did." - - from the John Kerry interview in Rolling Stone.

__________________________________________________
Your tax dollars at work
Secret Service investigating Eminem lyrics to see if they are meant as a threat to pReznit Poopstain

In an unfinished, bootleg song only available over the internet, Eminem sings: "*@%# money, I don't rap for dead presidents. I'd rather see the president dead."

"Dead presidents" is slang for cash. The reference to seeing the president dead does not specify the president of the United States, CNN reports. God bless Amurka.

__________________________________________________
PSM

WH For Sale.

Why Bush is stopping at Home Depot.

__________________________________________________
Oh good god
"Bush team searches for a big idea"

Facing a total asswhomping in the Iraq debacle, the Indolent Fraud's chief doodywiper Karl Rove is looking for bold ideas to "unify national goals" prior to the '04 election-charade, including a twip to the moon and a campaign to promote longevity, "which could cost billions of dollars at a time when the nation is running a substantial budget deficit."

A person consulted by the White House said some aides are drooling over the idea of a “Kennedy moment” for Bush, referring to the 1962 call by JFK for the nation to land a man on the moon and return him safely to Earth by the end of the decade. This official said Bush’s closest aides are promoting big initiatives on the theory that they contribute to Bush’s image as a decisive leader {Ed.: snort}.

Three guesses on which “Kennedy moment” I'd pick for him.

_________________________________________________
Blog-a-palooza, part 1

The "Twenty Most Annoying Conservatives of 2003," via Bohemian Mama.

Bill O'Really twitches, foams at the mouth, falls over in impotent rage.

"Why is Rush Limbaugh the only person treated like this in America?" said lawyer Roy Black, apparently unaware that the answer to that question is: "Because he's rich and white - otherwise his ass would already be behind bars for possession with intent."

Stage management, at Seeing the Forest.

And more stage management: how Bush holds rehearsals prior to his propaganda photo-op campaign stops, from Counterspin Central, who never links to me, dammit.

Thanks to Terry at The Storm, I found out I'm Morpheus:
?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

_________________________________________________
And who really knows the words to the theme from M*A*S*H?
TV theme song lyrics, and not the Bill Murray ones, either. Plus Patrick Stewart in a loincloth. prrrrrrrrrrrrrr

__________________________________________________
Uhhhh... a pint of lo mein and two hookers, please
The Amurkin presstitutes and Neil "kneel!" Bush

"Imagine these banner headlines, circa, say, 1998: President's Brother in Biz With Red Chinese! President's Brother Beds Prostitutes as Corporate Perk! President's Brother Hip-Deep in War Profiteering: The More Blood His White House Sibling Spills, the Fatter the Family Coffers!" - - from Chris Floyd in the Moscow Times.

__________________________________________________
More on Operation Photo-op
"The question is, should the government engage in lying in order to essentially ... protect a photo op? The answer is, no it shouldn't. It's a serious business when government lies, and eventually it does hurt a government and a president's credibility." - - David Wise, author of The Politics of Lying.

Some troops not happy with visit
“Imagine [my soldiers’] dismay when they walked 15 minutes to the Bob Hope Dining Facility, only to find that they were turned away from their evening meal because they were in the wrong unit,” wrote Sgt. Loren Russell in a letter to Stars and Stripes. For security reasons, only those pre-selected got into the facility during Bush’s visit.

_________________________________________________
Dems call for inquiry into reports of Medicare bribe
USA Toady reports: Democrats and a legal watchdog group, Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington, have asked Attorney General John Ashcroft to investigate allegations that Republicans offered a House member $100,000 in contributions for his son's election campaign if he would vote for a Medicare prescription drug benefit passed by Congress last month.

Reports have alleged that an undisclosed republican told Rep. Nick Smith, R-Mich., that if he voted for the bill, business interests would contribute $100,000 to help his son, Brad, succeed him. Smith is not seeking re-election in 2004. His son is one of several Republican candidates running for the seat

Such an offer could be interpreted as a bribe that violates federal law.

__________________________________________________
PSM
Go wash your hands!!

I seem to be getting a lot of visits from people searching for farmwhores.

__________________________________________________
Too cute to pass up
Baby panda pic.

__________________________________________________
Bush names BFEE fellow criminal as envoy on Iraq debt
pResident Evil announced on Friday he has appointed former Secretary of State James Baker, a close family friend, as his personal envoy to seek a restructuring of Iraq's $120 billion debt.

"Secretary Baker will report directly to me," the Crawford Crook said in a prepared statement. "Suckas!!"

__________________________________________________
9/11 Widow charges Bush with foreknowledge and murder
"Why did your brother Jeb (the Governor of Florida) go to the offices of the Hoffman Aviation School and order that flight records and files be removed? These files were then put on a C130 government cargo plane and flown out of the country. Where were they taken and who ordered it done?

"We know for a fact that some of the people on the flight were members of (or related to) the royal family of Saudi Arabia and members of the Bin Laden family. Were these people allowed to leave because of the long-standing relationships that your family has with both families?"

- - NH resident Ellen Mariani filed a racketeering suit in Pennsylvania District Court 11/26/03 against Bush. It seems to have made the news only in New Zealand. Read the complete letter to the resident here (thanks to Party_like_its_1984 at the BC Forum) - and pass it on!

_________________________________________________
Cheering for the turkey and stuffing body bags
Jebus - this guy's crankier'n me:

"On Thanksgiving Day, over a turkey, a relative told me that George W. Bush had gone to Iraq.

'Great!' I said. 'That's marvelous!' But then my spirits sank. It turned out he was coming back.

Alas, there may be no hope for the Democrats. They didn't have enough bulge in their Jockey shorts to brand Bush's visit what it was: a cheap publicity stunt."*

Sadly, "democrat" is becoming a synonym for spineless, and if things keep going the way they are, it'll soon be another word meaning santorum.

*Dick Feagler, in the Cleveland Plain Dealer.


Image by stranger at Blah3, I think.

_________________________________________________
Warrants: Limbaugh was 'doctor shopping'
Investigators are saying that hate-radio blowhard El Pigbo engaged in illegal drug use and went "doctor shopping" for prescription painkillers. The hypocrite and junkie, evidently not over the effects of his illegal pharmacopeia, had this to say in return:

"What these records show is that Mr. Limbaugh suffered extreme pain and had legitimate reasons for taking pain medication," Limbaugh said. "Unfortunately, because of Mr. Limbaugh's prominence and well-known political opinions, he is being subjected to an invasion of privacy no citizen of this republic should endure."

Yeah. Tell that to Bill Clinton.

Doctor shopping refers to looking for a doctor willing to prescribe drugs illegally, or getting prescriptions for a single drug from more than one doctor at the same time. Well, with any luck, he'll be able to shop around for the best Federal Pound-Me-In-the-Ass prison. Squeal like a pig for me, baby!

Sorry. I'll stop now.

_________________________________________________
In Baghdad, the fourth estate lubes up and bends over
"It was a media event without precedent–an elaborately staged production in which a small group of journalists was literally kidnapped, flown into a war zone, stuffed headfirst into the ass of a Thanksgiving turkey and then made to flap its arms for the amusement of all humanity when the commander-in-chief blew into a kazoo. A more dramatic example of Stockholm Syndrome has probably never been shown on television." - - from Matt Taibbi's column in the NY Press.

_________________________________________________
Jon...
I've been looking for this! Thank you to Dave at Seeing the Forest, who I shamelessly stole it from:

On The Daily Show, Jon Stewart and 'White House Correspondent' Stephen Colbert discuss the Photo-opping Fraud's Thanksgiving Day surprise:

Jon Stewart: It sounds like no one in the White House press corps had even a clue that this trip was going to take place...

Stephen Colbert: That's right, Jon! Gotta give the White House credit on this one. My colleagues and I are incredibly impressed by how well we were misled. And this was for a good cause. Just imagine if they were doing something they were ashamed of? We'd never find out! This just proves that we journalists shouldn't even try. Which we don't.

Jon Stewart: ...Clearly an incredible amount of logistics and foresight had to go into all this.

Stephen Colbert: Yes, Jon. This visit was an extremely well-coordinated operation. And the Bush team has learned a lot from this mission that they can now apply to the rest of their work in Iraq. For instance, when it comes to planning - do some.

Jon Stewart: That's interesting...

Stephen Colbert: Yes, this Thanksgiving trip has shown the president that a lot of the best preparation is done in advance. Unfortunately, with regard to our occupation of Iraq, we did all our preparation afterwards. And now it's a seething cauldron of death and rage. But hey! That's why pencils have erasers...

Now lesson two of this Thanksgiving trip: With respect to an exit strategy - have one. What we saw last Thursday was a president with a clear idea of when and how he would leave Iraq: Specifically - at noon and full of giblets.

__________________________________________________
Around the web

Cool Howard Dean poster at The Hackenblog.

Amazon's top customer recommendations for those who checked out Michael Jackson's new album.

Bohemian Mama reports on our dear leader's latest bold stance.

Human dungheap Sean Hannity gets his syphilitic* ass handed back to him on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

Babes Against Bush: "What better way is there to get guys to notice that the president is a bozo?"

*alleged


�

_________________________________________________
This just in: agents seize Pigboy's medical records
Hypocritical hate radio blowhard Rush Limbaugh told listeners on his radio show Thursday that prosecutors in Palm Beach County have seized medical records from four of his doctors.

Man, if he thinks that butt cyst is a pain now, just wait till he gets out of FPMITA prison. He's definately going to need more oxycontin after THAT.

Oh right, like it'll happen. 'Prison' - criminey, you're so naive.
/bitchslap

__________________________________________________
Ashcroft fires Guantanamo defence team
The Guardian reports: A team of military lawyers recruited to defend alleged terrorists held by the US at Guantanamo Bay was dismissed after some of them rebelled against the unfair way the trials have been designed.

Some members of the new legal defence team remain deeply unhappy with the trials, saying they are slanted towards the prosecution and an affront to modern US military justice.

__________________________________________________
Today's head-shaker
Neil Bush says he didn't bother asking any questions when strange women knocked on the door of his hotel room, entered and had sex with him.

Wtf's with that???!

�

__________________________________________________
Changing the tone in Washington
In a fit of pique, Jebus' faverit preznit hung up on Rep. Tom Feeney after Feeney said he couldn’t support the Medicare bill.

Feeney reportedly told Bush: “I came here to cut entitlements, not grow them.”

Sources said Bush shot back, "Me too, pal," and hung up the phone.

_________________________________________________
Fowlball's turkey at Thanksgiving stunt was a prop
Jeebus. Everything he does is fake. Misadministration officials said yesterday that the turkey the Turkey pReznit Happypants was holding for the troops was a decoration, not dinner.

Everything's a photo-op for this fraud.

Powell asks for NATO help in Iraq
'We're getting our asses kicked!'

Secretary of State Colin 'Flopsweat' Powell urged NATO to help mop up the mess the misadministration is making in Iraq on Thursday, days after a dozen people allied to the United States were killed in attacks throughout the country.

In spite of Hopalong Hop-head's happy little bunnyhop to Iraq, spreading cheer, joy, and goodwill, the anti-American insurgency, which has seen 189 U.S. soldiers killed in action since pReznit AWOL declared major combat over on May 1, is gaining in intensity and coordination. In other news, Scott Peterson pleaded not guilty yesterday. Developing...

__________________________________________________
What’s in Howard Dean’s secret files?
Fizzle THAT shizzle: Remember the Bushies sealing the records of presidents beginning with Poppy Bush/Saint Ronnie of Reagan ("an act never before done in US presidential history")?

And what bizarre timing. In the midst of a war and an economic disaster -- they find the time and "the desire" to seal the records of the Reagan/Bush admin, just as info is surfacing about Bush/Bin Laden connections from years back. (Details in Scripps-Howard News Service, appearing in Chico, CA paper on 11/5/2001)

"It is not a stretch to wonder if this White House is up to something that it doesn't want known 12 years from now or anytime thereafter. [A direct quote from the piece carried by Scripps Howard News Service, Re: Bush's sealing of presidential records for the first time in U.S. history.]

John Dean, former Counsel to Richard Nixon, another secretive White House incumbent, wrote in FindLaw.com, “[W]e have a President who likes secrecy. He has hired only tested leak-proof and loyal staffers, effectively sealing the Bush White House. He has had his records as the Governor of Texas hidden, shipping them off to his father's Presidential library, where they are inaccessible. He has stiffed the Congressional requests for information about how he developed his energy policy— refusing to respond.”

So bite me.

__________________________________________________
Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not an AWOL chickenhawk!
Howard Dean laughs at disturbed, highly illogical Trekkie.