Why the fuck in the motherfucking fuck are we even talking about fucking tax cuts?
Tax cuts obviously don't stimulate as much as my girlfriend...she is a former Miss Michigan ya know. Ain't she purty?
February 11, 2009
Stimulus We I Can Believe In
Journamalism
Weekly Standard columnist Fred Barnes: "I'm not going to do your research for you."
In a related story, Weekly Standard columnist Fred Barnes was once arrested in a gay pedophile crackhouse, wearing a violet feather boa around his sere and scanty privates while shoving a hamster up his bum.
Really. Look it up.
February 10, 2009
Postbipartisan Grabbing of the Ankles
Words for living today from Fark
How to manage like Obama. Nice idea, but if 40% of your workforce is openly trying to cause you to fail, you should probably go ahead and fire them.Of course, nobody could have anticipated Rethugs acting like spoiled little kids.
Today's Episode of: Revisionist Bullshit
Lush Limpbaugh's little brother, equally porcine traitor and crusty cum towel Karl Rove lies his party first fat ass off in a speech last week
"I love how the last eight years, this White House, the Bush White House, was criticized for being tight-lipped. We didn't leak. I hope Barack Obama has a White House that doesn't leak."Tell Bubba about tight lips, enema bag. He just might believe you......
Eunuch to Finally Get Payback
Forced retirement in four years is too kind.
If Joe Lieberman decides to run for a fifth term in 2012, a new Quinnipiac poll suggests that it may be a lost cause.Obviously this means Lieberman deserves a standing ovation next time he enters the Senate, and probably a reach-around from Reid.
The new poll tests Lieberman as an independent against Democratic Attorney General Richard Blumenthal. The numbers: Blumenthal 58%, Lieberman 30%. Yikes.
Lieberman's active campaigning against the Democratic Party last year hasn't won him too many friends back home. Democrats go for Blumenthal by 83%-9%, and independents are for Blumenthal 55%-29%. Lieberman is the de facto Republican nominee in this match, and with GOP voters he scores 67%-23% over Blumenthal.
I love the smell of karma in the morning...and afternoon too.
February 9, 2009
The Return of the Welfare Queens!
New Rethug token Chairman Michael Steele is already coming under scrutiny from the "liberal media" for directing his 2006 U.S. Senate campaign to pay more than $37,000 to his sister's company for catering and Web services, according to the Washington Post.
IOKIYAR fun fact: The payment came 11 months after Steele's sister had legally dissolved her company.
It's the Economy, Stupid!
It's as if we were still living in the times when physicians believed that bleeding their patients was the best way to cure disease despite all evidence to the contrary.Tax cuts to start the bleeding....... There! All better.
What's So Civil About Civil War?
The next dickwad who says, "It’s your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal fucking dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. That’s right, motherfucker, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It’s too easy, asshole, they’re blue states. It’s not your money, assholes, it’s fucking our money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own fucking stop signs, assholes.Indeed, and the truth shall set you free.
Let’s talk about those values for a fucking minute. You and your Southern values can bite my ass because the blue states got the values over you fucking Real Americans every day of the goddamn week. Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping dickwads? Well? Can you guess? It’s fucking Massachusetts, the fucking center of the gay marriage universe. Yes, that’s right, the state you love to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the fucking nation. Think that’s just some aberration? How about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are fucking blue states, asshole, and most are in the Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to fucking guess? 10 of the top 10 are fucking red-ass we're-so-fucking-moral states. And while Nevada is the worst, the Bible Belt is doing its fucking part.
February 7, 2009
Linky Tidbits
Presidential Jive: 'Obama is fucking tired of this muthafucking buuuullllshit! '
Iran launches first satellite
A satellite, sounds more like a manure spreader.
Liquid wood.
Lovin' touchin' feeeeeeelin' One More Reason to Love These People
Syphylletic octosexual mAnn Coulter: The only thing that’s more disgusting than a smoker is a single mom.
Or that hideous rotten oyster smelling monstrosity under it's cocktail skirt
The youngest seed of my lions is a Very gifted athlete
Video section at the top right of the page. Scroll to Week 4 highlights and interview with coach for the two best videos, but he's in almost all of them. Presenting: 6"2 sophomore Tyler Piotrowski.(#9 football, #25 basketball)
Working Overtime in the Dept of Ironicism
Object of many a Riech wingnut masturbatory fantasy and naughty librarian/dominatrix Sarah Mooselini says lies recently:
What's in a name? Former Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin says her daughter's comes from Bristol, Conn., home of the sports network ESPN.
Palin tells Esquire magazine that when she was in high school, she wanted to be a sportscaster and was disappointed to learn where ESPN was located.
The Alaska governor says Connecticut was too far away. So instead, she says, she named her daughter Bristol.
Bullshit happens. Here's what she told the liberal media way back then in august, before her 15 minutes of fame began:
Her three daughters are Bristol, 17, Willow, 14, and Piper, 7.
Palin said the eldest girl was named after Bristol Bay, where the family fishes.
Honesty is sooooo overrated, ya know. You betcha!(wink)
February 6, 2009
FU GOP ESAD news
Above: Bush disrespecting the Oval Office.
Above: Bush disrespecting the office of the Presidency.
Above: Bush disrespecting the office of the Presidency.
Welfare Queens!!!!
We truly are a bunch of unappreciative bunch of morons incapable of appreciating the prosperous effects of rethug economic policies, as well as being a nation of whiners
$18 billion dollars in "bonuses."Social Security and Medicare are bankrupting the country!!
And people complain about working Americans wanting things like health insurance and funded pensions...or these days, paying jobs. $18 billion dollars of taxpayer money for a performance that was absolutely in the crapper.W
Keep that number in mind the next time some wingnut whines about "entitlement programs." And keep in mind that a half million dollars plus is "insufficient compensation" for these supposedly talented individuals.
These greedy sub-human mofos just kill me.....literally.
We are sooooo phukkkkkt.
Trainwreck update
Sarah Palin in 2008: "Women who don't support women are traitors to their gender."
Sarah Palin in 2009: "I am proud to endorse Rick Perry for governor over Kay Bailey Hutchinson."
In a related story, Caribou Barbie says her daughter was named after ESPN's homebase of Bristol, Conn., not the cream sherry she's been chugging since before Trig was born.
President Barack Obama, bitches!
More like this, please:
President Barack Obama has fired a biting campaign-style attack on republicans and the former Bush misadministration, seeking to drive his stimulus plan through Congress.
In searing attacks on republicans, Obama said Americans had not voted for "false theories of the past and they didn't vote for phony arguments and petty politics."
"They didn't vote for the status quo, they sent us here to bring change. We owe it to them to deliver," a fired-up Obama said on Thursday.
In searing attacks on republicans, Obama said Americans had not voted for "false theories of the past and they didn't vote for phony arguments and petty politics."
"They didn't vote for the status quo, they sent us here to bring change. We owe it to them to deliver," a fired-up Obama said on Thursday.
He also pimpslapped the booger-eating incompetent who preceeded him in office:
"I found this deficit when I showed up," Obama said, in a clear swipe at the disastrous misadministration of former pretzaldunce George W. Bush.
"I found this national debt double-wrapped in a big bow waiting for me as I stepped into the Oval Office," he said. "I'm just surprised he didn't leave it in a flaming bag on the front steps."
Obama continued to slam republican attacks on his plan, asking: "When you hear these attacks deriding something of such obvious importance as this, you have to ask yourself -- are these folks serious?"
Obama said America is not going to get relief by 'turning back to the very same policies that in eight short years doubled the national debt and threw our economy into a tailspin.'
"I found this national debt double-wrapped in a big bow waiting for me as I stepped into the Oval Office," he said. "I'm just surprised he didn't leave it in a flaming bag on the front steps."
Obama continued to slam republican attacks on his plan, asking: "When you hear these attacks deriding something of such obvious importance as this, you have to ask yourself -- are these folks serious?"
Obama said America is not going to get relief by 'turning back to the very same policies that in eight short years doubled the national debt and threw our economy into a tailspin.'
Dude!!
Disgruntled loser pushes for prisoner vote
hiny-ass titty-baby Norm Coleman is pushing to include an absentee ballot from a man who voted in Pine county even though he was a resident of another, a ballot from an illegal immigrant's dog, and one from a homeless man who thinks he's a tree.
The WATB's lawyers are arguing that the absentee ballot should be included because even though the voter lived in a different county, at the time of the election he was in the Pine County jail. Keeping a place warm for former senator Coleman, one can wish.
Friday Funnies
"How about that Dick Che"ney? He's out of office, but he's still chomping at the bit. You know what I'm talking about? Daschle embarrasses Obama so today Obama gets a call from Cheney, 'Hey, let me waterboard him.'" --David Letterman
"And you know that woman here in California who just had the eight kids and has six more at home?' Well, today, Tom Daschle proposed to her. He's not in love, he just needs the deductions. 'Please marry me, please!'" --Jay Leno
"Today, President Obama announced a salary cap of $500,000 for executives at banks and companies that have received taxpayer bailout money. And you know — it is good. But I'll tell you something, you can tell a lot of these CEOs don't get it. They said, 'Well, that's $500,000 a month, right?'" --Jay Leno
"Nation, last night, President Obama called his handling of the Tom Daschle nomination 'a mistake.' This is great news, because we all know that a president only admits to a mistake at the end of his term. So it is official: The Obama administration is over" --Stephen Colbert
"President Obama has asked the Senate to cut $50 billion from the economic stimulus plan. Yeah, Obama says the government will no longer need the $50 billion once everyone in his Cabinet pays their back taxes." --Conan O'Brien
"President Obama, before Sunday's Super Bowl, did an interview with Matt Lauer, during which he predicted the Steelers would win a squeaker, and sure enough, they did. So it's a shame he didn't bet the deficit on the game." --Jimmy Kimmel
"Apparently, the President has a half brother named George Obama, who lives in Kenya, and George Obama was arrested on Saturday for possession of marijuana. He was walking around the village telling people his brother was the President, so they assumed he was high and arrested him." --Jimmy Kimmel
"How great is that, though? One brother is the President of the United States, the other is a stoner in Kenya. If that isn't a sitcom, I don't know what is." --Jimmy Kimmel
Former McCain staffer accused of showing boys his stimulus package
Dems may not pay taxes, but at least they're not gay pedophiles abusing our children.
A wide-ranging investigation has been launched into allegations that yet another republican has molested many boys over the years, including most recently when he was the manager for John McCain's presidential-campaign office in Pueblo.
Jeffrey Claude Bartleson, 52, has usually positioned himself so he is around children, whether as a Scout master, as a foster parent, at his church or simply by inviting children to spend the night at his home.
Jeffrey Claude Bartleson, 52, has usually positioned himself so he is around children, whether as a Scout master, as a foster parent, at his church or simply by inviting children to spend the night at his home.
"Gee, I thought little Timmy was just going to this man's house to watch Disney movies all night!" exclaimed some suddenly-horrified dimbulb. Honestly. WTF is wrong with these people?
GOP rep declares terrorist jihad against the US
Why do al-republiQans hate America?
The chairman of the National Repugnican Congressional Terrist Cell has pledged a Taliban-like "insurgency" against Nancy Pelosi, House Dems, President Obama, and the nation.
"The GOP can learn from the Taliban," said Islamomuslimterristfistjabber Rep. Pete Sessions, a comment that (not) surprisingly didn't rate a "barf alert!" over at RimJob's Circlejerk Central.
"I'm not trying to say the Republican Party is the Taliban. I simply said one can see that there's a model out there for insurgency," Rep. Sessions said in an interview with the National Fishwrap before being interrupted by an aide.
Frustrated by "a lack of bipartisan outreach" from Democratic leaders, Sessions said House republicans -- who partisanly voted unanimously last week against the economic plan pushed by President Obama -- will pitch a whiny-ass, petulant fit ... oh, sorry, a "positive, loyal opposition" to the proposal.
Obama, Sessions added, has pledged to diminish the political rhetoric in Washington and work in a bipartisan fashion...
Frustrated by "a lack of bipartisan outreach" from Democratic leaders, Sessions said House republicans -- who partisanly voted unanimously last week against the economic plan pushed by President Obama -- will pitch a whiny-ass, petulant fit ... oh, sorry, a "positive, loyal opposition" to the proposal.
Obama, Sessions added, has pledged to diminish the political rhetoric in Washington and work in a bipartisan fashion...
WHICH HE HAS BEEN DOING EVERY DAY SINCE HE TOOK OFFICE, you fucking nincompoop. And what does he get from you guys? Right.
"If they do not give us those options or opportunities like we had when we were still in power and ran roughshod over them, then we will then become insurgency of a nature to where we do those things that are necessary to making sure the American public knows what we think the correct answer is. You know, obstruct and whine a lot," Sessions pouted, his stupid fucking head up his ass.
We already know what you think "the correct answer is." We're living it every fucking day, idiot. That's why you're in the fucking minority right now. Jerkoff.
Above: Rep. Sessions.
February 5, 2009
Headline of the day
"Joe" the "Plumber" now advising turds instead of helping to flush them
--- from fark.com (actual story here).
Bloated, impotent junkie hated more than Islamocommiedefeatofascist or domestic terrist
Porcine, hateful gasbag Rush Limbaugh less popular than anti-American America-haters Jeremiah Wright and Bill Ayers.
A poll conducted by the research firm Greenberg-Quinlan-Rosner in October put Limbaugh's public-approval rating at just 21 percent. He was so unpopular that only 44 percent of republican voters reported “warm, masturbatory” feelings towards the ass-pimpled bloater.
Despite Limbaugh’s low popularity ratings, congressional Republicans are so intimidated by his perceived influence that even the most resentful members shamelessly grovel at his feet.
He might have alienated vast sectors of the Republican base, but Limbaugh still commands an army of self-proclaimed “dittoheads”* who represent the party’s most politically fervent, ideologically extreme, and easily shepherded element. This is a faction that flood the party’s elected representatives’ offices with phone calls, and which they believe they cannot afford to offend.
He might have alienated vast sectors of the Republican base, but Limbaugh still commands an army of self-proclaimed “dittoheads”* who represent the party’s most politically fervent, ideologically extreme, and easily shepherded element. This is a faction that flood the party’s elected representatives’ offices with phone calls, and which they believe they cannot afford to offend.
*Hideous, drooling fuckwits without a brain cell between them. These are the people certain elected officials are jizzing themselves over. And we call Democrats pussies.
From the Dept. of You Can't Make This Shit Up
Cry me a fucking river and call a wahhhmbulace.
"That is pretty draconian, $500,000 is not a lot of money, particularly if there is no bonus," said James F. Reda, founder and managing director of James F. Reda & Associates, a compensation consulting firm. "And you know these companies that are in trouble are not going to pay much of an annual dividend."Will someone please inflict me with such Draconian measures? How in hell a person who can't arrange their finances well enough to live on a half a million a year can expect to be taken seriously as a professional money manager?
Simple solution:
Don't take our money, douche nozzles!
There, fixed it.
February 4, 2009
Gonzales lauds 'tremendous job' by his Justice Department
Alberto Gonzales says "people are focused on the little negatives."
Former Bush pet Attorney General Alberto Gonzales spoke to CNN's Campbell Brown on Tuesday about his record at the Justice Department. Well, the fabulous parts that he was able to remember.
Gonzales: Well, I hope history will reflect the fact that during my tenure both at the White House and at the Department of Justice we did a tremendous job in protecting our country...
Campbell Brown: But ...
Gonzales: ... and also as attorney general we focused on protecting our kids from sexual predators, we focused on making our neighborhoods safe from guns and drugs ...
Brown: But ...
Gonzales: ... rabid polar bears and aliens from the planet Mongo...
Brown: But ...
Gonzales: ... swarthy fellas that looked like they may have hated America ...
Brown: But ...
Gonzales: The level of prosecutions with respect to public corruption far exceeded what the previous administration did and so many people are focused on the little negatives that occurred...
Brown: But ...
Gonzales: As soon as mistakes were made. But a lot was accomplished.
Brown: But these were not "little negatives." Let's start by talking about how politicized the Justice Department became. An inspector general found that. Your office fired nine U.S. attorneys for political reasons. There has been no disagreement about that. I mean, how could you let that happen?
Gonzales: Campbell, Campbell, Campbell. I disagree with that.
Brown: Well, the inspector general's report that was issued, of course, during the Bush administration, found that you had been, quote, "remarkably unengaged" in the process and you quote, "abdicated your responsibility to safeguard the integrity and independence of the Justice Department." Not to mention the fact that, quote, "you turned the once-respected United States Justice Department into your own private clown college," for crying out loud.
Gonzales: Campbell, Campbell, Campbell, Campbell, Campbell, Campbell. Campbell. Well, again, I take issue with some of the things that were in that report. I think you need to look at the overall record of the department during my tenure and the good things that we accomplished.
Brown: Such as OKing the use of torture? Or that time you tried to strong-arm John Ashcroft while he lay delirious in his hospital bed?
Gonzales: I don't recall that.
Brown: You've had trouble finding a job since you left public office. Most people would leave public service with many opportunities. Why not you?
Gonzales: With respect to employment, listen, I can understand in a very tough economy, some employers are going to be very hesitant about bringing someone like me on.
Campbell Brown: But ...
Gonzales: ... and also as attorney general we focused on protecting our kids from sexual predators, we focused on making our neighborhoods safe from guns and drugs ...
Brown: But ...
Gonzales: ... rabid polar bears and aliens from the planet Mongo...
Brown: But ...
Gonzales: ... swarthy fellas that looked like they may have hated America ...
Brown: But ...
Gonzales: The level of prosecutions with respect to public corruption far exceeded what the previous administration did and so many people are focused on the little negatives that occurred...
Brown: But ...
Gonzales: As soon as mistakes were made. But a lot was accomplished.
Brown: But these were not "little negatives." Let's start by talking about how politicized the Justice Department became. An inspector general found that. Your office fired nine U.S. attorneys for political reasons. There has been no disagreement about that. I mean, how could you let that happen?
Gonzales: Campbell, Campbell, Campbell. I disagree with that.
Brown: Well, the inspector general's report that was issued, of course, during the Bush administration, found that you had been, quote, "remarkably unengaged" in the process and you quote, "abdicated your responsibility to safeguard the integrity and independence of the Justice Department." Not to mention the fact that, quote, "you turned the once-respected United States Justice Department into your own private clown college," for crying out loud.
Gonzales: Campbell, Campbell, Campbell, Campbell, Campbell, Campbell. Campbell. Well, again, I take issue with some of the things that were in that report. I think you need to look at the overall record of the department during my tenure and the good things that we accomplished.
Brown: Such as OKing the use of torture? Or that time you tried to strong-arm John Ashcroft while he lay delirious in his hospital bed?
Gonzales: I don't recall that.
Brown: You've had trouble finding a job since you left public office. Most people would leave public service with many opportunities. Why not you?
Gonzales: With respect to employment, listen, I can understand in a very tough economy, some employers are going to be very hesitant about bringing someone like me on.
An untrustworthy, lying sleazy hack with no principles? Probably in a good economy, too.
February 3, 2009
Begala calls GOP leader a 'corpulent drug addict'
He left out "impotent, Viagra-chugging Dominican boy violator" and "giant douchebag-shaped subhuman."
No hate like republitard hate
"Yes Rush, I hope Obama fails, too," some drooling fuckpipe at the ironically-named "intellectual conservative" writes. "Because uhhhh, Hitler! And liberals didn't like Doofy McCrackpipe!"
Why does this asswipe hate America?
Only servile, cult-of-personality types confuse the leader with the country. Ever since President Obama (PBUH) dropped Rush Limbaugh's name recently, the talk-show host has figured prominently in the news. And now he is being attacked by the mainstream press – and truly odious entities such as MoveOn.org – for saying that he wants Obama (PBUH) to fail. It is being portrayed as an un-American sentiment by those great patriots on the Left. I actually agree with Limbaugh wholeheartedly. I also want Obama (PBUH) to fail – abjectly, miserably, completely – and visibly. I may even pray for it.
Talk about truly odious. Yeesh. And anyone know what the fuck this gaping suckhole is talking about? "PBUH"?
Anyone on the Left who takes issue with this is either ignorant or a liar – and probably a hypocrite as well. I will explain. Only servile, cult-of-personality types confuse the leader with the country. Would we have called a German who wished for Hitler's failure in 1934 unwise and unpatriotic? What about Stalin, Mussolini, Pol Pot, Idi Amin and Saddam Hussein? Would it have been wrong to curse them with failure? The Left absolutely hated George W. Bush. Their contempt for him was so profound and palpable that it was even given a name by psychiatrist Charles Krauthammer: Bush Derangement Syndrome.
Yeah, that's because he sucked! He sucked so hard I'm still amazed a fucking BLACK HOLE didn't open up over the White House! And guys like you not only blew it off, you blew him! You complacent, culpable cumguzzlers just lay back and let it all happen! He ignored intelligence that al Qaeda was going to attack the US, thousands died because he lied to go to war, he took massive dumps all over "that goddamn piece of paper" -- the Constitution, you stupid fucking dipshit -- he lied about not torturing, he politcized the fucking US Justice Dept for petessake, he ignored the signs that the economy was heading for a breakdown... geez, how much fucking time do you have, you incredible pants-jizzing douchewad? Gawd.
Wehhh! The Magic Negro didn't give me my unicorn yet!!!
After eight years of Bush and his rubberstamping do-nothings fucking up the economy, some unhinged nutbar at the ironically-named "american thinker" castigates the Obama administration for not managing to fix things in only 15 days.
Inmates in charge of the asylum in DC
The reviews are in and Barack Obama seems to have laid a big fat egg -- on Wall Street anyway. In all fairness, the President cannot be held responsible for all the turmoil afflicting the stock market and the American economy. The crisis did precede him. But we were promised that an Obama presidency would restore our economy; the campaign was all about hope and change. Change is happening but not the hope.
The reviews are in and Barack Obama seems to have laid a big fat egg -- on Wall Street anyway. In all fairness, the President cannot be held responsible for all the turmoil afflicting the stock market and the American economy. The crisis did precede him. But we were promised that an Obama presidency would restore our economy; the campaign was all about hope and change. Change is happening but not the hope.
Awwwww, the Party of No sees no hope. After only two weeks. Gee, fuckwit, it couldn't possibly have anything to do with your repuke asshole buddies in Congress naysaying, obstructing and threatening fillibusters, would it? You know, threatening eight more years of fucking doing nothing? Please. Go piss up a rope.
Award-winning journalist writing policy for gpukes
No -- not really! Bwwwwwahahahahahahaha!
Fresh off his stint as a "war correspondent" in Gaza a secure area near Jerusalem, Joe the Taxcheating Attentionwhore turns his attention to helping rethugs with political strategery.
Next week: Trig Palin will present a white paper on the social and geopolitical ramifications of intervention in Darfur.*
When GOP congressional aides gather Tuesday morning for a meeting of the Conservative Working Group, Samuel Wurzelbacher – more commonly known as Joe the [unlicensed] Plumber — will be their featured guest. This group is an organization of conservative Capitol Hill staffers who meet regularly to chart GOP strategy for the week.
In a related story, supposedly content with their minority status in Washington, a new Rasmussen poll reveals that 55 percent of republicants polled say the GOP "should become more like [Sarah] Palin." You betcha its awesome.
*posted by Mr Coffee Nerves at fark.
Always Wrong 2: the Dumbnitude
Doughy pantload Jonah Goldberg, aka Bill Kristol Junior, opens his piehole again:
Day 15 of Obama's honeymoon.
One doesn’t have to break a sweat searching for examples of the news media’s ongoing love affair with our president...
One doesn’t have to break a sweat searching for examples of the news media’s ongoing love affair with our president...
Really? Let's take a look at today's headlines...
CNN:
Obama's ethics vow at risk
Afghanistan: Can Obama succeed in 'land of the unruly?'
Transparency in Obama administration?
AP:
Official: Performance czar withdraws candidacy
PROMISES, PROMISES: No lobbyists except ...
Reuters:
Obama budget official withdraws nomination
NYT:
Obama’s Pledge to Reform Ethics Faces an Early Test
Obama Pick for Oversight Role Pulls Out Over Tax Issue
But I guess we're just nitpicking. He goes on, in a cheetos-fueled rant of petulance and inanity:
One of the great tests of news media bias is when the storyline has become unfalsifiable. With George W. Bush, no matter what he did, the facts always seemed to prove he was to blame. {Duh. - Ed., facepalming.}
And please. Manly Commander Codpiece, the popular war preznit/folksy cowboy who kept America safe, got a free pass for years.
With Obama, no matter what he does, he's always the hero.
Wait for it...
For instance, during a trip to China in 2005, then-President Bush tried to open a locked door while leaving a news conference, and the press tittered at his buffoonery. Yet last week, when President Obama walked into an Oval Office window that he thought was a door, much of the news media looked the other way — perhaps recognizing his genius at spotting where a door should have been.
Or perhaps not seeing a look of complete and utter boobery on his face as he kept trying to open a locked door. Asshole.
Bush's love of exercise was analyzed as a troubling obsession of an out-of-touch president. Obama's fixation with physical fitness gives numerous reporters hope that he will alleviate America's obesity epidemic. {Citation? - Ed.} In a front-page exclusive, the Washington Post revealed that on Obama's recent vacation, the Hawaiian "sun glinted off (his) chiseled pectorals sculpted during four weightlifting sessions each week, and a body toned by regular treadmill runs and basketball games."
Here's where Jonah ran into his closet-shrine and rubbed one off under a photo of Ronald Reagan. Another hint, Jonass: Obama was on vacation at the time. And he wasn't yet President. Jerkoff.
Then there's Obama's inaugural address, which was panned as pedestrian by pretty much everyone who hasn't drunk the Kool-Aid and was received as the greatest oration since Henry V rallied the British at Agincourt by everyone else.
Again, citations needed. I pretty much think you're full of shit, there, amos.
Since the inauguration, it seems every day brings another article about "Day 3" or "Day 7" or "Day 12.5" of the Obama presidency.
Ummmm, as in every presidency, jerkwad.
And each one reads like a People magazine blog about American Idol.
Examples?
Everything he does signals hope for peace in the Middle East or race relations or the economy or whatever.
Or whatever. Touche! Jackass. Maybe because things can't possibly get any worse, you stupid flaming pump-hole.
From today's FU GOP News
Party of No illuminates just what it is it stands for
Rethugs preen and high-five themselves for voting against something that Americans overwhelmingly want Congress to pass.
Last week President Obama reached out - as promised - to the tattered remnants of the Republican party, stopping by Capitol Hill for a meeting with top GOP lawmakers to discuss the urgent stimulus package. Turns out he needn't have bothered; before the president even arrived, House Minority Leader John Boehner appeared in front of the press and "urged members to vote no on the House Democrats' stimulus bill."
And vote no they did - unanimously.
And vote no they did - unanimously.
The bill passed easily despite the opposition of all 177 republican House members, but party leaders delighted in what they considered a victory after two straight electoral drubbings and much soul-searching about what the party stands for.Yeah! Way to go! Say it loud and say it proud, we'll do nothing in unison! And we'll continue to do nothing until the American people come to their senses and vote us back into power!
"How about those House Republicans?" cheered Sen. Jim DeMint (R-Moron).
"House Republicans said we would stand up for American taxpayers at this time of economic hardship for our nation. And last night, standing together, that's exactly what we did," House Minority Leader John 'suck my' Boehner (R-Asswipe) wrote yesterday in a memo to his colleagues. "I am proud of our team."
-- from this week's Top 10 Conservative Idiots. Bonus: The Top 10 Conservative Idiots Official Inauguration Recap!
Change we can believe in
Tom Daschle has asked President Obama to withdraw his nomination for Health and Human Services secretary. Wants to go back to not paying his taxes away from the spotlight, as a private citizen.
Update: a poster over at the Daily Dish writes
Someone should make the point that the theory on which Daschle did not pay taxes on an extraordinary non-salary benefit provided by his employer (car and driver) is exactly the theory on which Palin did not pay taxes on an extraordinary benefit (free air travel for her children, and 60 dollar per day per diem payments for use of her own house).
Palin never paid back taxes but simply produced a squirrelly letter from her lawyers saying that someone could believe in good faith that taxes were not owed on the travel or per diems she received, so her failure to report those items as income was excusable.
Palin never paid back taxes but simply produced a squirrelly letter from her lawyers saying that someone could believe in good faith that taxes were not owed on the travel or per diems she received, so her failure to report those items as income was excusable.
Hmmmmmm. So IOKIYAR?? This changes everything!
Update: Fux News trotted out tax cheat Dick Morris to criticize Daschle.
February 2, 2009
Party before country
GOP govs press Congress to quit being fucking dittomonkey asshats for once in their goddamn lives.
Most Republican governors have broken with their GOP colleagues in Congress and are pushing for passage of President Obama's economic aid plan that would send billions to states for education, public works and health care.
Their state treasuries drained by the financial crisis, governors would welcome the money from Capitol Hill -- where GOP lawmakers are, as usual, blindly following the orders of a bloated, inpotent junkie who's never run for anything in his life except for the hills when his draft notice came due.
Their state treasuries drained by the financial crisis, governors would welcome the money from Capitol Hill -- where GOP lawmakers are, as usual, blindly following the orders of a bloated, inpotent junkie who's never run for anything in his life except for the hills when his draft notice came due.
Bah.
McConnell: GOP senator may not take Cabinet post
In this season of hope that we can rise above the corrosive polarization of recent years, Pres Obama offered a cabinet position to a republican. And in the spirit of generosity, the Senate minority leader -- the petulant, weapons-grade cumbucket Mitch McConnell -- got his panties in a bunch.
U.S. Sen. Judd Gregg won't take the job of commerce secretary in the Obama administration if his appointment would tip the Senate balance of power in favor of Democrats, the pudfaced, phizmelting mofo McConnell puled on the Sunday morning yakfests.Who the fuck is this guy? A deal??? A FUCKING DEAL???!?! And if the tables had been turned? Come on, Dems! Jeebus Christ! Grow a few! You know, fuck this. Why try this bipartisan/postpartisan shit if its only going to be one-way. Fuck it. And you know what you can do to the "Democratic" governor of New Hampshire. Fuck him too. Gawd.
McConnell, who resembles a badly-aging tranny who's been hit in the face with a sheep, suggested that a deal had been struck to ensure that New Hampshire's Democratic governor, John Lynch, would not name a Democrat as Gregg's replacement.
Daschle 'deeply embarrassed' over tax issues
Dem taxpayer deeply embarrassed over Daschle.
Tom "Douche" Daschle says he's "deeply embarrassed and disappointed" that he didn't pay the more than $120,000 in taxes that he welched out on. He really, really wanted to, but he just kept not paying them.
Bonus stupidity: The tax cheat didn't tell the Obama team about it until after he was named as Health and Human Services Secretary.
Well, at least he didn't blow a homo.
January 31, 2009
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