August 31, 2007


From Worth1000.com
*****

WWJD?

Tweety to corrupt scumbag Tom DeLay last night on Hardball: "you‘re saying that the Democrats believe in Christian forgiveness and the Republicans don‘t."

MATTHEWS: Isn‘t there a difference here about hypocrisy, a party that has the Moral Majority behind it, that brings people to vote in church buses, that goes to the churches of this country and says, Vote Republican, and brings them to the polls because the cultural values of the Republican Party are the values of the people that go to church on Sunday and lead good lives? Doesn‘t that raise the bar for your party?

DELAY: No, Chris, I think it has to do with the lack of character in the Democrat Party. Character is shown by how you handle these situations.

MATTHEWS: Yes.

DELAY: And the Democrat Party evidently either approves of Ted Kennedy‘s behavior or Patrick Kennedy‘s behavior or Alcee Hastings‘s behavior, or they look the other way and reelect them.

MATTHEWS: Yes.

DELAY: On the other side, the character of the Republican Party is we kick our guys out. You guys reelect yours.

MATTHEWS: Well, maybe not my guys, but let me tell you - in other words, you‘re saying that the Democrats believe in Christian forgiveness and the Republicans don‘t.

DELAY: No, no, no. If you want to go there, Chris - you know, if you want to go there, a Christian first confesses the truth...

MATTHEWS: Right.

DELAY: ... then accepts the consequences of that...

MATTHEWS: Right.

DELAY: ... of those actions and asks for forgiveness of those closest to him...

MATTHEWS: OK, let me - let me...

DELAY: ... and promises never to do it again.

What a dick.

White House spokes-tool Tony Snow can't take any more of this shit

Quits to spend the little time he has left lying to just his family.

Bush propaganda minister Tony Snow plans to cut and run from the Titanicberg misadministration September 14 and will be replaced by deputy liar Dana Perino.

Fool me twice...

“Strikingly negative” GAO Iraq report was leaked -- to keep Bush from watering it down

On Countdown , Keith Olbermann reveals that the latest, damning GAO report on Iraq was leaked by government officials who were afraid that much like previous negative reports, it would be watered down by the Bush administration.
Crooks and Liars has the video.

Bush to outline subprime initiative

Will use a Sharpie™, and fill in the rest with crayons. Sorry, but the whole idea of Retard McStupid talking about "subprime initiatives" just cracks me up.


"'Course it's a budget! It's got lotsa numbers in it!"
*****

Wake Me Up When September Ends

As the anticipation for the Betrayus Report White House Whitewash on the Iraqnam war occupation builds like the bulge in Larry Craig's pants in a bathroom stall, it is becoming quite obvious that the General is a Loyal Bushie:
The U.S. troop surge in Iraq has thrown al Qaeda off balance and led to a reduction in sectarian violence and bombings, the U.S. commander in Iraq was quoted on Friday by an Australian newspaper as saying."We say we have achieved progress, and we are obviously going to do everything we can to build on that progress and we believe al Qaeda is off balance at the very least," General David Petraeus told the Australian in an interview after briefing Australia's defense minister, Brendan Nelson, in Baghdad.
Hey, It's Great! We just need some more time. So how about $50 Billion bucks, ok? But sectarian violence is down because we say it is:
Iraq: At least 25 killed in another bloody day of U.S. occupation
Oh yeah, and troop deaths are down! Okaaaay, let's compare the first eight months of last year with this year, from Icasualties.org.
8-2007 77 8-2006 65
7-2007 79 7-2006 43
6-2007 101 6-2006 61
5-2007 126 5-2006 69
4-2007 104 4-2006 76
3-2007 81 3-2006 31
2-2007 81 2-2006 55
1-2007 83 1-2006 62
Believe that things are getting better, or the islamocommienazijihadifascists will behead your children and convert the rest of us to Islam, America haters.

RNC pulls political support from hypocrite

No, the gay one. No, the other gay one. The "fairly wide guy" one.

The Republican National Committee has told Sen. Larry Craig to just bite the pillow and resign, because if he doesn't, the party will not provide him financial support in the upcoming election and will recruit a non-gay Republican opponent to run against him.
Just not too closely against him.

Bonus: "A number of Idaho Republicans are said to be interested in running for Craig’s seat."

Makin' progress!

The surge is worki... d'oh!! Plane with U.S. lawmakers aboard fired on in Iraq

A US military plane with three GOP senators and a Democratic congressman onboard came under rocket fire while leaving Baghdad for Jordan Thursday night and had to take evasive maneuvers. Democratic Rep. Bud Cramer and Republican Senators Richard Shelby, Mel Martinez and James Inhofe were not injured, and, once they had changed their pants, remarked that it was just like leaving an airport in Indiana.

Bonus: "Sen. Inhofe says terrorists' attempt to shoot down the C-130 military transport plane carrying him and other lawmakers in Iraq demonstrated the progress of the U.S. military campaign." You just can't reason with these people.

Friday Funnies-Wide Stance Edition

"Don't kid yourself, this Craig is in a tough spot. When you're up for re-election, you don't want to be known as 'The Restroom Don Juan.'" --David Letterman
"The guy was arrested for lewd behavior in the men's room, and I'm thinking, 'Well, hell. I'm lucky if I can get a hand dryer to blow'" --David Letterman
"Senator Larry Craig ... declared he won't quit and he's not gay. And then Craig said 'I'm sorry. I meant to say I won't quit being gay.'" --Conan O'Brien
"Now there's more trouble for Senator Craig. First he's accused of soliciting gay sex at an airport. Now's he accused of soliciting gay sex at a train station. Craig denied the charges and said if you'll excuse me, I have to get ready for a big night at the bus terminal." --Conan O'Brien
"Idaho Senator Larry Craig is now being called the hole from Idaho." --Jay Leno
"A lot of people are calling Senator Craig a hypocrite because he was a very vocal opponent of same-sex marriages. ... But to be fair, he has never come out publicly against anonymous gay bathroom sex." --Jay Leno
"This whole thing has to be very frustrating for the Republican Party. All these gay sex scandals and they still can't get any support from Hollywood." --Jay Leno
"The arresting officer said their eyes met through the crack in the bathroom stall door, which is ironic because that's how I met my wife." --Jay Leno
"Because of the scandal he had to resign his position on the Mitt Romney campaign. ... So not much chance of getting his mitts on Romney now." --Jay Leno
"Idaho Sen. Larry Craig, a married, very anti-gay conservative Republican, was arrested by a plainclothes police officer for lewd conduct in a Minneapolis airport men's room. Today the senator's office said it was all a big misunderstanding. Apparently what happened was when the senator went in to use the restroom, he accidentally grabbed the wrong penis." --Jay Leno
"The undercover police officer said the senator tried to reach under the stall to touch him, but the senator said, no, he wasn't trying to touch him, he was only trying to pick up a piece of paper off the floor. Who picks up paper off the floor in the men's room? I don't even like when my shoe laces touch the floor in the men's room." --Jay Leno
"You know who I feel sorry for in this whole thing? The undercover cop. How'd you like to have that job. Sit in an airport bathroom all day, your pants around your ankles with a coffee and a donut waiting for guys to hit on you." --Jay Leno
"Sen. Craig is married. Apparently he told his wife, don't worry about having dinner ready to me. I'm going to wolf down a hot dog at the airport." --Jay Leno
"The Democrats may have control of the House, but the Republicans have control of the bathrooms." --Jay Leno
"There's another scandal in Washington. One of the senator's from Idaho, Larry Craig, was arrested in airport men's room. Gives new meaning to the word 'caucusing.'" --David Letterman
"Sen. Craig said he made a mistake by pleading guilty. And I was thinking, maybe that was your second mistake." --David Letterman
"The way I look at it, anyone who spends more than two minutes in an airport men's room is guilty of something." --David Letterman"
Larry Craig ... has pled guilty to lewd guilty in a men's room. ... The senator said I wanted to reach out to all my constituents and their penises." --Conan O'Brien

9/11 groups want Rudy "9/11" Giuliani to STFU at 9/11 ceremony

Families of September 11th victims and 9/11 emergency responders are asking that America's 9/11 Mayor and presidential candidate Rudy "I was there for September 11th" Giuliani be disinvited to speak at the sixth anniversary memorial of the 9/11 attacks because he might somehow 9/11 politicize it.

Frederick of Hollywood announces he will announce candidacy September 6

One day after a big GOP debate in NH.

Rebooblican savior Saint Fred Reaganson said Thursday he would finally launch his White House bid next week, vowing to "shield America from terrorism" once he gets a good script. Actually, he may want to thnk about rehearsing an explanation for all the pussy-footing around he's been doing, which looks awfully like a deliberate attempt to circumvent the regulatory disclosure reports mandated by the FEC.

Another rethug campaigning on honor and integrity. How heartwarming. How patriotic. It just makes me want to stand up and salute.

Larry Craig Pickup Tips

Cruising 101: Larry Craig's Guide to the Mens Room

Via: Americablog And Larry, If you are gay......
It Would Be Ok

Small, slimy shoes to fill at Justice

Incontinent crank Bob Novak, the Douchebag of Liberty, slams Bush and his weaselly pathetic fucktoy Alberto Gonzales:

[Stupie McMoron] just went too far in picking a friend who was loyal but also incompetent (a complaint never lodged against Bobby Kennedy). All of Gonzales's senior political positions in Texas -- secretary of state, governor's counsel and Supreme Court justice -- came thanks to Bush's patronage. When he became president, Bush was less interested in quality than loyalty as he brought Texas aides to Washington.

I first met Gonzales in 2001 when, along with other conservative journalists, I went to the White House for a background briefing by presidential counsel Gonzales on the new president's judicial nominations. I was stunned by the incoherence of the briefer. When I checked with several Republican senators, I received the same verdict. The guy was a total jackass. Their judgment was that Gonzales was not qualified to hold a senior governmental position.

Gonzales's handling of the crisis over the firing of U.S. attorneys set new standards for incompetence. Now get off my lawn, you snotnosed punks.

The incompetent asskissing liar is also in trouble with his own former department:

Justice's inspector general said yesterday that he's investigating whether Gonzales gave false or misleading testimony to Congress, including whether he lied under oath about warrantless surveillance, the firings of nine U.S. attorneys, and not recalling anything. He has also expanded a probe into whether Gonzales' aides improperly used party affiliation when reviewing applicants.

Uh-huh. So, does he try to the restore the integrity of the DOJ and change the worldwide-held opinion it's a just a partisan wankhole for the Bush WH, or does he continue the cover-up for the Shit-head-in-Chief? I'll be very surprised if he says anything other than Gonzales gave 'misleading testimony' but that it wasn't intentional.


"Bye, li'l Gonzo. Adios, li'l Chili-Bean."
******

August 30, 2007

Like Dysfunctional Father, Like Dsyfunctional Son.

Not that this should surprise anyone paying attention:

As Congress prepares to receive reports on Iraq from General David Petraeus and U.S. Ambassador Ryan Crocker and readies for a debate on George W. Bush's latest funding request of $50 billion for the Iraq war, the performance of the government of Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki has become a central and contentious issue. But according to the working draft of a secret document prepared by the U.S. embassy in Baghdad, the Maliki government has failed in one significant area: corruption. Maliki's government is "not capable of even rudimentary enforcement of anticorruption laws," the report says, and, perhaps worse, the report notes that Maliki's office has impeded investigations of fraud and crime within the government.

The draft--over 70 pages long--was obtained by The Nation, and it reviews the work (or attempted work) of the Commission on Public Integrity (CPI), an independent Iraqi institution, and other anticorruption agencies within the Iraqi government. Labeled "SENSITIVE BUT UNCLASSIFIED/Not for distribution to personnel outside of the US Embassy in Baghdad," the study details a situation in which there is little, if any, prosecution of government theft and sleaze. Moreover, it concludes that corruption is "the norm in many ministries."

The report depicts the Iraqi government as riddled with corruption and criminals-and beyond the reach of anticorruption investigators. It also maintains that the extensive corruption within the Iraqi government has strategic consequences by decreasing public support for the U.S.-backed government and by providing a source of funding for Iraqi insurgents and militias.
I'm sure they've been comparing crib notes on a regular basis. God knows Maliki has been learning from the best.

*sigh*

JasonC

If it's Thursday, it's must be time for another Thompson "campaign" update

If he can't make up his mind when and if to formally announce his candidacy, how will he be able to deal with al Qaeda?

Republican savior Saint Fred Reaganson's non-campaign campaign will hold a 4 p.m. conference call today with supporters to brief them on plans for the former Tennessee senator's presidential announcement next week, which will itself be an update on the plan to plan the next update which will brief them on plans for the former Tennessee senator's next presidential announcement announcement.

Two Dem longshot candidates tell Bush to fuck off with 'troop supportin' plan

Senators Dodd and Edwards spoke out against the impending $50 billion funding request from Preznit Privilege --

Reporter: "Senator, there were reports this morning that [the idiot in the White House] will ask Congress for either $50 billion more 'or a brazillion, whichever's bigger' for the Iraq war. What do you have to say about that?

Dodd (paraphrasing): "Well, shit, I'm not surprised, the way that miserable, incompetent little fucker's mismanaged everything. What, over half a trillion dollars isn't enough? Christ. Hell, I'll do whatever I can to support whatever our troops need to have a safe and secure withdrawal from Iraq, but I don't intend to continue to fund the war over there that I think has no end. As long as we're there, I think the Iraqis are not going to come together as a people it's about time we wound down our military presence there."
And Senator Edwards (mostly):
"Enough is enough. When Congress comes back next week, they should stand as firm as Larry Craig in an airport bathroom and make their position clear: No timeline, no funding. No excuses. Do this as many times as it takes for the president to finally get the message that he cannot defy the will of the American people, of Congress, and even of many members of his own military who believe it’s time to end this war and bring our troops home to the heroes’ welcome they deserve."
Yeah!

Bunnypants' behavior gets more baffling every day

Dur!

[Chimpy McSquirtypants] only makes things worse by howling that any pullback would erode American power and embolden the terrorists. Even if his warning is true, for a president to state it so urgently, over and over and over and over, deepens the damage when the storm hits. And given that the storm is certain to hit, it's irresponsible -- it's baffling -- that he's howling so loudly.

Why does the preznit hate America??

Whoa!

Thanks so much to the discerning reader who sent me the Children of Men dvd! Siri, was that you? ♥ ♥ ♥

The surge is ... uhhhh, look! Squirrels!

Iraqis 'fail to hit key targets.' Unfortunately, they keep managing to hit our troops.

Government 'Accountability' Office auditors say Awol McStupid's Iraq goals are not being met in "strikingly negative" report:

The Iraqi government has failed to meet the vast majority of political and military goals laid out by lawmakers to save the war preznit's ass, congressional auditors have determined.

Last week's NIE report agrees:

The [NIE] draft provides a stark assessment of the effects of the current US-led surge! to secure Baghdad. While the Baghdad security plan was intended to reduce sectarian violence, U.S. agencies differ on whether such violence has been reduced. While there have been fewer attacks against U.S. forces, the number of attacks against Iraqi civilians remains unchanged, and the capabilities of Iraqi security forces have not improved.

"Overall," the report concludes, "key legislation has not been passed, violence remains high, and it is unclear whether the Iraqi government will spend $10 billion in reconstruction funds."

Maybe another $50 billion payoff will help.

Update: The Bush misadministration today rejected the "bleak report" by the GAO, saying it "set criteria for judging progress far too high." The criteria? "Any."

White House deputy spokesmoron Dana Perino took pains to differentiate the GAO survey from the president's own cherry-picked and fictionalized report, which he must provide to Congress by September 15.

"The president will decide whether or not the Iraqis are making significant progress towards achieving the benchmarks in Iraq," Perino told reporters.

Romney takes narrow stance on former buddy's gheyishness

Campaigning in South Carolina, Mitt Romney was asked why Republicans were distancing themselves from men's room cum-dumpster Larry Craig.

"I think it's appropriate when there's been conduct that we think is disappointing and disgraceful to indicate that. I don't think there's a responsibility to try to gild the lily in a setting like this," said the sanctimonious dog-torturer. "I think individuals across the country expect us to have the same expression that they feel, which is disappointment."

To be mindless, unforgiving non-individuals, as it were.

Later, Romney said he would not tell Craig what to do.

"I expressed my view that his conduct was disappointing, disgraceful, and at this stage, he has a decision of his own to make about his future. I'm not going to insert myself between him and his conscience," Romney, who's never made any mistakes in his entire life, said dismissively.

WWJD indeed.

Scare Tactics....New And Improved!!

One day after trotting the old mushroom cloud ooga-booga story like an over used crusty wank rag, and realizing that the sheeple aren't buying that dog and pony show any more, the Cheney Menstruation, in a display of desperation gets original in their fear-mongering for a change as they try something new. If we cut and run from Iraqnam, we will face a catastrophe that would be truly unthinkable: $9-a-gallon gasoline!!

Gasoline prices could rise to about $9 per gallon if the United States withdraws troops from Iraq prematurely, Rep. Jon Porter said he was told on a trip to Iraq that ended this week.
"To a person, they said there would be genocide, gas prices in the U.S. would rise to eight or nine dollars a gallon, al-Qaida would continue its expansion, and Iran would take over that portion of the world if we leave," Porter said Wednesday in a phone interview from Las Vegas.
Oh for fuck's sake and the love of all things fuckable. Now THAT'S enough to make you you pull a Ted Nugent in your pants. What next? Anybody? Beuhler? Beuhler? Anybody??

Oh, and an attack on Iran wouldn't do the same thing?

Senator giving Craig contribution to charity

"There's gay man-juice all over these bills!" screams Coleman.

Senator Norm Coleman will be donating a gay-cooties-tainted $2,500 contribution he received from Senator Larry Craig pac to charity. This is truly getting beyond silly now, people.

Republican Senators vote to give Larry Craig his own washroom

-- headline at BuzzFlash.

On edit: I seem to have bumped into Undie Lib's post on this very same subject. Read his first, below!

Trolling for gay sex in public bathrooms is "a crime involving conduct unbecoming a senator." Paying for 'straight' sex still OK. IYAR.

Idaho's gay Senator Larry Craig's political support eroded by the hour on Wednesday as fellow Republicans in Congress called for him to resign and GOP party leaders pushed him unceremoniously from senior committee posts.

The White House expressed disappointment, too -- and nary a word of support for the 62-year-old lawmaker.

White House spokesman Scott Stanzel said, "We are disappointed in the matter," without specifying exactly what was causing the discomfort.

Meanwhile, rethug Senator David Vitter, who admitted to breaking the law by happily humping hookers, still enjoys the full support of his party.

Why the double standard? Could it be because Vitter's "indiscretion" involved straight sex -- OK, with diapers, but still straight -- while Craig's involved teh ghey?

Or is it because Craig's replacement would be appointed by a Republican governor but Vitter's by a Democrat? Hmmmm.

The Craig-Vitter Double Standard.....Resolved

Amid all the howling and faux outrage among the Reich-Wing about old Wide Stance, an important Question has emerged. Where's all the outrage in the GOP about David Vitter? Remember who we are dealing with here. The "party above all" fucknozzles known as the Republicunt party.

One possible reason, nay, THE ONLY reason for the double standard: Craig's replacement would be appointed by a Republican governor, Vitter's by a Democratic Governor. Or, what maru said....great minds think alike...

Case closed. Thank you, my work is done here.

Our Beloved Pretzelnitwit
















(AP/Elaine Thompson)
A photo from the extremely popular Presidunce O'Poutyface's fundraising visit for Dave Reichert in Bellevue, Washington. WTF? Did the morally corrupt Clenis ever need such gestapo security?
Gott Segnet Unseren Führer

August 29, 2007





A common tern chick screams for joy
that AG Alberto Gonzales has finally stepped
down, Monday July 9, 2007
(AP Photo/Robert F. Bukaty).

Jeff Gannon Plans Cumback

Remember Jeff Gannon, the Craig's listed gay prostitute who somehow was invited to the White House 200 times? Who got a daily press pass using a fake name? You know, the one who would ask groan-inducing softball questions for the White House, and would then publish “news” items that lifted Republican talking pointsword for word?
Gannon went and hid in his clost for a while, but now he’s ready to come out for a spoogy Cumback and expose the lies of “liberal media,” and his 8"cut, again.











~Undie Lib~

B-b-b-but Clinton!!

Funny underwear wearing polygamist Mormon champion flip-flopper (catcher's)Mitt Romney not so subtlety goes to the worn out Republicunt favorite play from their VERY small playbook and pulls out an old , gold, and slightly musty favorite:

In his interview on CNBC's Kudlow & Company, Mitt Romney had some sharp words for Sen. Larry(wide stance) Craig, who had endorsed the former Massachusetts governor's presidential campaign and was his Idaho chairman. And Romney also included this jab at Bill Clinton as he continued to talk about Craig: "I think it reminds us of Mark Foley and Bill Clinton.
So there you have it, a consensual and heterosexual blowjob equals stalking teen boys and trouser trout trolling, when you really (don't) think about it, is all CLINTON'S FAULT. The almighty Clenis is all-powerful.














~Undeniable Liberal~

Yea Though I walk Through The Valley of a Shadow of a Nuclear Holocaust,

I Will Fear No Evil, For My Rod And Staff is Bigger Than Everybody Else's
Conveniently ignoring reality, and any semblance of facts Presidunce Awol McFlightsuit warned a drunked up American Legion crowd that the Middle East faces an imminent danger of A Nookuleer Holocaust due to Iran's LEGAL pursuit of atomic energy. He also acknowledged in a garbled up collection of sentence fragments that it's perfectly alright for Pakistan, Israel, and India to have nookuleer toys because he is the deciderer.
How many lies does he have to utter before before the poor, misguided 26%ers get up off their knees, wipe off their chins, get some self-respect, and think for themselves?
Chimperor Flacidius Maximus now has an exit strategy for Iraq. Heading east into Iran.

Time to dust off the plastic jebus.










~Undie Lib~

The “smoking gun could be a smoking mushroom cloud!"

Ahhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhh! Oh, wait --where have I heard that before?

Fearmongering fuckwit Chimpy McLiar warned Tuesday that Iran is plotting to extend its "murderous" influence over Iraq and is threatening to destabilize the Middle East under a "shadow of a nuclear holocaust." "We will confront this danger before it is too late," he added, saying that he had authorized US military commanders in Iraq to "confront Tehran's murderous activities."

Meanwhile, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad reiterated that "dialogue and friendship, not threats” were the right way to deal with Iran, and said his country was committed to a "peaceful path" in pursuing its nuclear program.

It's hard to know which of these batshit crazy mofos to believe. Almost.

Dems slam Bush's happy rosy funtime picture of Iraq

Democrats on Tuesday accused Commander Awol McCodpiece of painting a "rosy picture" of Iraq and of confusing Dumbass-Americans by linking the war there to the September 11 attacks.

"It's been (Bush's) misguided policy and his mismanaged war that have actually fueled extremism and extremists in Iraq, Afghanistan and beyond," Joe Biden said. "The president, in my view, likes to confuse the American people by conflating Iraq, Al-Qaeda in Iraq, with the terrorists who attacked us on 9/11."

Senate Majority leader Harry Reid accused Bush of pursuing a bankrupt strategy in Iraq as "Osama bin Laden and Al Qaeda grow stronger."

But WH wankrag John Boehner said Dems were refusing the Kool-Aid and ignoring the invisible "overwhelming progress" in Iraq.

"Will they support a path that continues success, or they will maintain a platform of failure?" Minority leader Boehner said as wiped himself.

Not turning the other cheek, Mitt farts in Craig's general direction

Man o' God unforgivingly blasts gay-loving, ethically-challenged ... Dems???

Mitt Romney distanced himself Tuesday from one of his top Senate supporters, comparing his actions to President Clinton's affair with an intern and a former Republican congressman's overtures to male teenage pages.

"Yeah, I think it reminds us of Mark Foley and Bill Clinton," the devout Romney said disparagingly. "I think it reminds us of the fact that people who are elected to public office continue to disappoint, and they somehow think that if they vote the right way on issues of significance or they can speak a good game, that we'll just forgive and forget." Well, I'll never forgive -- never!! Ahem...

"I hope the allegations against him are not true. We've seen far too many ethical violations by Republicans," Romney said. "I expect it sometimes across the aisle. I expect a little on our own side of the aisle. But to see as many reported violations of Republican conduct have been really disappointing and we have got to hold ourselves to a higher standard."

... than those evil Demoncraps that can't control themselves! Nice.


"Yeah... why are you such an asshole?"
****

Republicans back away from Craig

Because moving the other way would be much more scary.

Embattled fuckstick Larry Craig, who pleaded guilty to a gay incident in an airport bathroom, isn't getting much support so far from his political colleagues.

"He's disappointed the American people," said sanctimonious cowpat Mitt Romney.

"Disgraceful," Sen. John McCain scowled.

"We're calling for an ethics investigation" into a "serious matter," pudfaced Senator Mitch McConnell hiccupped.

"I believe he should resign," said Bryan Fischer of the Idaho Values Alliance.
An astonishing 55% of Idaho voters seem to agree with him.

'I am not gay': gay rethug Senator in gay airport bathroom sting denies gaynitude

Not that there's anything wrong with that. Unless you're a conservative.

US Republican Senator Larry Craig Tuesday vehemently denied he was gay, despite his intense staring at a man on the toilet, playing footsie with him, and pleading guilty after being arrested by police probing {hee!} lewd gay incidents in an airport man's room.

Craig, who is certainly no stranger to rumors about his gayness, was joined at a news conference by his long-suffering beard wife, Suzanne, where he stridently announced "I am not gay! I've never been gay!! I'm a republican, dammit!"

Oh really...

A man with close ties to Republican officials told the Idaho Statesman he had oral sex with Sen. Larry Craig at Washington's Union Station, probably in 2004:
"Upon walking into Union Station one day, I made eye contact with a well-dressed older gentleman whom I recognized as Sen. Craig. We, after having made eye contact for 30 seconds or so, we began walking towards one of the restrooms in Union Station.

"I followed him in there. We went to the urinals, where we both unzipped ...

"The restroom became busy, too busy to do anything. So we zipped up and then followed each other to the second restroom in Union Station, where we began the same process. And had a -- I also performed fellatio for a very, very short amount of time, as that restroom became busy as well. At that point we both zipped up and left and went on our separate ways."

Senator Larry Craig: a nasty, bad, naughty boy.

Cue "spanking" jokes...

"It's yore money!"

Moron-in-Chief fundraises for fellow rebooblicans, yet expects us to pay for their mess in Iraq.

Awol McFuckwit is preparing to ask Congress for as much as 50 billion more taxpayer dollars to pay for his bloody fiasco in Iraq. 'Cause if you don't support keeping our troops there, you don't support the troops!

I don't know why it isn't that funny, but. . .

Some "pranksters" put a "I Love Barack Obama" bumper sticker on Karl "Karl" Rove's car, wrapped it in plastic wrap, and installed two stuffed eagles on the trunk while it was parked at the White House during Rove's trip to Texas with the Pretzeldunce. As they put it at Wonkette, "It's always fun till somebody gets held as an enemy combatant."

--divageek

Comment of the day

From FARK.com on Senator Larry Craig (R-Denial):

He's so far in the closet, he's in Narnia.

Hee!

--divageek







image from Princess Sparkle Pony

August 28, 2007


Cutie!! A one-month-old leopard cub, Jordan Zoo, August 27, 2007.
REUTERS/Muhammad Hamed (JORDAN)

Thompson campaign loses another staffer, money

Republican savior Saint Fred Reaganson declined to answer questions Monday about why yet another high-level aide to his non-campaign campaign left to spend more time with the family.

The all-but-declared candidate collected about $1.5 million less than the $5 million backers had hoped to bring in during June, his first fundraising month. In July, Thompson sidelined his campaign-manager-in-waiting, Tom Collamore, and watched a few other aides follow him out the door amid consternation inside the operation about the active role of Thompson's harpy trophy wife and erstwhile Undie Lib girlfriend, Hooti McBoob.

Surgitude!

We're makin' progress!

Police ordered a curfew Tuesday in the Shiite holy city of Karbala and told more than one million pilgrims to leave after two days of violence claimed at least 27 lives during a religious festival. More than 100 people were wounded.

Preznit Bush: cop killer

Bush responsible for man's death. No, not Pickles, the other one.

An officer who was accompanying the Boy King's motorcade has crashed and diesd

The crash came less than a year after an accident killed another police officer accompanying the president. The compassionate conservatard called Casey's wife from his limousine on the way to the airport to offer condolences.
But...but... Vince Foster!

Symphony for the world's tiniest violin

Poll: Young voters disenchanted with the Republicant Party

A Democracy Corps poll from the firm of Greenberg Quinlan Rosner suggests voters ages 18 to 29 have undergone a striking political evolution in recent years. Young Americans have become so profoundly alienated from Republican ideals on issues including the war in Iraq, global warming, same-sex marriage and illegal immigration that their defections suggest a political setback that could haunt Republicans 'for many generations to come,' the poll said.

The waning power of the war myth

Nice try, "wartime president" --

As Iraq dies, Bush is falling back on his old standby: Patriotic blackmail. But this time it won't work.

Bush's latest pro-war P.R. campaign is yet another attempt to tap into it. But the magic is finally wearing off. And in his desperation to save his presidency, Bush has been forced to squeeze the myth so hard that its irrationality has become painfully evident.

The inescapable truth is that Bush's war of choice has destroyed an entire nation -- and there is no way for the United States or anyone else to control what happens next. The increasingly shaky plight of Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki shows just how unstable Iraq's cobbled-together political system is. U.S. dreams of replacing him with a secular strongman like Ayad Allawi are delusional. The war is not winnable, and there is thus only one possible rationale for continuing it, the one Bush raised: preventing an even more apocalyptic blood bath than we have already caused.

Bush's own speeches have about as much credibility as bad advertisements. The president has lived by propaganda. But now that the end is approaching, even propaganda can no longer save him.

The White House's personal shyster finally departs

The dismal legacy of Bush's top yes-man

From a New York Times editorial (mostly):

Alberto Gonzales has finally done something important to advance the cause of justice. He has resigned. But his departure alone cannot remove the dark cloud that hangs over the Justice Department like the stains on Senator Craig's jockeys. Snippy the Chimp needs to choose a new attorney general of unquestioned integrity who would work to make the department worthy of its name again - and provide the mandate to do it. Yeah, OK, I'll try to get serious now. Ahem. Congress needs to continue to investigate the many scandals Mr. Gonzales leaves behind. When Gonzales was appointed, it seemed doubtful that he would be able to put aside his years as Bush's personal lawyer and represent the interests of the American people. He never did.
And from Salon (sort of):
Despite taking an oath to uphold the Constitution and laws of the United States, Gonzales seemed to see his job instead as pleasing his boss. {Snicker -- Ed.} That may be a good strategy for the glory hole at the Minneapolis-St. Paul Airport men's room, ummmm, bureaucratic success, but shouldn't we demand more from the nation's top law enforcement officer? Darn tootin'! Gonzales' yes-man strategy has left the reputation of the Justice Department -- and the United States -- in tatters. If we are to have any chance or restoring the credibility of the Justice Department and our standing as a nation committed to the rule of law, Gonzales' replacement needs to have the independence and integrity that Gonzales sorely lacked.

Smokin' in the boys' room

Bathroom arrest clouds Senator's future, reputation, underpants
What is it with these guys?

Republican Sen. Larry Craig, who voted against gay marriage, finds his political future in doubt after pleading guilty to gay gay gay sex charges.

Sen. Craig pleaded guilty earlier this month to misdemeanor disorderly conduct charges stemming from his June arrest by an undercover police officer in a men's restroom at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport, a court spokeswoman and the senator's office said yesterday. Craig issued a statement confirming his arrest and guilty plea.
Craig's arrest is no surprise to those who have heard the gay rumors about him for years, says blogger:
His office must have been working overtime to suppress the news of the arrest...

Craig is a conservative Republican with an abysmal record on gay issues and a 100 percent favorable rating from the Christian Coalition. Oh, and he's married.
Ahhh, those rethug moral and family values! The sanctity of marriage! From part of the report -- apparently, he's blaming the size of his ballsack:
Sgt. Dave Karsnia was working as a plainclothes officer on June 11 investigating civilian complaints regarding sexual activity in the men's public restroom in which Craig was arrested.

Karsnia entered the bathroom at noon that day and about 13 minutes after taking a seat in a stall, he stated he could see "an older white male with grey hair standing outside my stall." The man, who lingered in front of the stall for two minutes, was later identified as Craig.

"I could see Craig look through the crack in the door from his position. Craig would look down at his hands, 'fidget' with his fingers, and then look through the crack into my stall again. Craig would repeat this cycle for about two minutes," the report states.

Craig then entered the stall next to Karsnia's.

"At 1216 hours, Craig tapped his right foot. I recognized this as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct, since it was in time to the Liza Minelli version of 'It's Raining Men' (OK, not really). Craig tapped his toes several times and moves his foot closer to my foot... The presence of others did not seem to deter Craig as he moved his right foot so that it touched the side of my left foot which was within my stall area," the report states.

Craig proceeded to swipe his hand under the stall divider several times. Karsnia then held his police identification down by the floor so that Craig could see it.

"With my left hand near the floor, I pointed towards the exit. Craig responded, 'No!' I again pointed towards the exit. Craig exited the stall with his roller bags without flushing the toilet. ... Craig said he would not go. I told Craig that he was under arrest, he had to go, and that I didn't want to make a scene. Craig then left the restroom."

In a recorded interview after his arrest, Craig stated "that he has a wide stance when going to the bathroom and that his foot may have touched mine," the report states. Craig also told the arresting officer that he reached down with his right hand to pick up a piece of paper that was on the floor.

"It should be noted that there was not a piece of paper on the bathroom floor, nor did Craig pick up a piece of paper," the arresting officer said in the report.
Update: Craig is now denying any "inappropriate conduct" and said his actions had been misconstrued. Yes, after pleading guilty, Craig has flipflopped and says his plea was a mistake, plus he's found Jesus or something.



Oh, and he's resigned as Senate co-chairman for Mitt Romney's presidential campaign.

LOL Dog





















~Undie Lib~

After Gonzales, Bush still facing shitstorm

Investigations aren't over until Nancy says they are, vows Senate Majority Leader.

With the resignation of his personal attorney genital Alberto Gonzales, Retard McStupid loses a trusted confidant and asskissing dong chomper, and may win only a short reprieve from political storms on issues like Iraq, Iran, immigration, wiretapping, Afghanistan, health care and the economy.

Gonzales, an architect of the contentious "war on terra" "legal" tactics, left after a scandal-tainted tenure marred by critics' claims he was incompetency, hiding the truth and perjury.
There, fixed it.


Yay!
****

The horror!

Freetard spazzes out after wife witnesses swarthy dude ... bum bum bum! text-messaging.

"My wife was flying between 2 cities in the midwest this week and noticed that the arabic man next to her was texting the entire time of the flight. It is my opinion that the guy was testing the limits of cell-phone texting capability during flight. Perhaps a dry-run for another coordinated attack. I urged her to call DHS and let them know what she saw. Anybody else witness this kind of behavior?"
Gah!!!! Call Homeland Security! Call the FBI! Call 911! Call a fucking shrink, numbnuts. No link, but you can probably still find it over at RimJob's homeformouthbreathers.com.

Oh, You Mean THOSE Missing Weapons?

It's not news to any mouth breathing mammal in this country that 190,000 guns and a whole bunch of other deadly shit "somehow" turned up missing in Iraqnam under the command of General Betrayus before his promotion to Supreme Commander in the Permanent War to save White Civilization from the evil islamonazicommiejihadifascist extremists that are threatening to come here and behead our kids and make all of the women wear burkas. But how did all of those weapons disappear? He probably Doesn't Recall.

Several federal agencies are investigating a widening network of criminal cases involving the purchase and delivery of billions of dollars of weapons, supplies and other material to Iraqi and American forces, according to American officials. The officials said it amounted to the largest ring of fraud and kickbacks uncovered in the conflict here.
The inquiry has already led to several indictments of Americans, with more expected, the officials said. One of the investigations involves a senior American officer who worked closely with Gen. David H. Petraeus in setting up the logistics operation to supply the Iraqi forces when General Petraeus was in charge of training and equipping those forces in 2004 and 2005, American officials said Monday.
The suspect is a Lieutenant Colonel who reported directly to Betrayus and worked closely with him. And yet the Army’s Inspector General is opening a large inquiry into how weapons, munitions, and explosives have been lost and misused at a time when the White House wants to blame Iran for arming the insurgents. Expect THAT investigation to go nowhere, unless it all can be blamed on the mighty Clenis. Yeah.....THAT'S the ticket.









~Undeniable Liberal~

Facing a draft, Nugent bravely wet his pants

Repuke chickenhawk, gun-nut, and supposed uber-patriot craps his own pants to avoid serving in the war.

Because so many searched our archives for the "Ted Nugent admitted to giving up personal hygiene for a month and showed up for his draft board physical in pants caked with his own urine and feces, winning a deferment" story, here it is again (thanks to C and L).