GOP PANTIES IN A BUNCH OVER WEBSITE
LOLOL. Fooking crybabies.

A Web site that includes satirical material disparaging pReznit Poopypants' handling of the Sept. 11 attacks has raised "a considerable amount of money" for Sen. Paul Wellstone's campaign, one of its founders said Wednesday (the site began experimenting with a pop-up Wellstone ad during the past 10 days).

Ginny Wolfe, communications director of the National Republican Senatorial Committee (NRSC), said Wellstone was guilty of at least poor judgment for using a site that would run material that was "disrespectful to all Americans" * and especially to have the material running on September 11, "a sacred day for America." **

On one of its pages, Democrats.com reproduced a picture of Bunnypants talking on the phone on Sept. 11, and sponsored a contest for the best caption indicating what Bush may have been saying.

The first entry in the caption contest has Bush saying: "But Dick, I soiled my pants when I learned about the attacks so please just let me come back to Washington for a change of underwear."

The 30 other published entries are similarly derogatory. (heh heh heh)

*Not all, honey. You want to see "disrespectful" go visit the bushmoonie sites. They actually talk of killing people over there.

**Though it was perfectly OK for 'dick' Cheney to appear on rightwingnut hate-monger Rush 'anal probe' Limbaugh's show yesterday, wasn't it, you hypocritical idiot.


Go Democrats.com!!

SHHHH! I TOLD YOU NEVER TO CALL ME HERE!
WASHINGTON (USA Today/wtf) - The White House still has not requested that the CIA and other intelligence agencies produce a National Intelligence Estimate on Iraq, a formal document that would compile all the intelligence data into a single analysis.

An intelligence official says that's because the White House doesn't want to detail the uncertainties that persist about Iraq's arsenal and Saddam's intentions - that the White House decided not to request the report to avoid enshrining in a widely circulated document the uncertainties that persist about Iraq - the doubts about links between al-Qaeda and Iraq, about what weapons of mass destruction Saddam may or may not have, and if he does, about whether he'd be likely to use them against the United States and its allies.

Sen. Dick Durbin, D-Ill., a member of the Senate Intelligence Committee, calls that ''stunning.''

''If we are about to make a decision that could risk American lives, we need full and accurate information on which to base that decision,'' he says in a letter sent Tuesday to leaders of the committee and CIA Director George Tenet. "I'm really beginning to believe this administration is full of shit."

REPUKE FAMILY VALUES
HOUSTON (Reuters) - Neil Bush, brother of George of the Bungle , has filed for divorce from his wife after 22 years of marriage, a newspaper reported on Thursday.

The divorce petition, filed Aug. 26 in Houston, cites "discord or conflict of personalities" as the reason for the split, the Houston Chronicle said. Bush, 46, and wife Sharon married in July 1980 and separated in July this year, according to the petition.

The Bush family suffered another setback this week when police in Orlando, Fla. said Noelle Bush, daughter of Florida gov. and hanky mascot Jeb Bush, was under investigation for crack cocaine possession while attending a drug treatment center.






BUSH TALKS, STOCK MARKETS TANK
NEW YORK (AP) - Wall Street took a dive today, pressured by two disappointing economic reports and a speech by Napoleon Bonehead to the United Nations demanding action against Iraq..

NOT SO FAST, CRACKBOY
UNITED NATIONS (Reuters) - U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan challenged Emperor Snippy's policies on Iraq and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict in his opening address to the U.N. General Assembly.

Apparently referring to U.S. responses to last year's Sept. 11 attacks on New York and Washington, Annan stressed that while any country had the right to fight back when attacked, only the United Nations could authorize the use of force in cases that go beyond straightforward self-defense.

Without referring directly to U.S. talk of a pre-emptive strike on Iraq, Annan said: "When states decide to use force to deal with broader threats to international peace and security, there is no substitute for the unique legitimacy provided by the United Nations.

"The more a country makes use of multilateral institutions - thereby respecting shared values, and accepting the obligations and restraints inherent in those values - the more others will trust and respect it, and the stronger its chance to exercise true leadership," Annan, in his address, said. "The little fratboy is on thin enough ice as it is."

I'm still shaky. It didn't help to hear that Vice Idiot Dick 'Bunkerboob' Cheney gave an exclusive interview to vile pigboy and fellow chickenhawk Rush 'Buttboil' Limbaugh today of all days.

Disgusting.

NICE TRY, GAMEBOY
The Washington comPost reports, "Congressional Democrats said yesterday that classified briefings by Bunnypants' top nursemaids have failed to make a compelling case for quick military action against Iraq, and several leaders said Congress should wait until after the November elections before voting to authorize a strike against Saddam Hussein's regime.

'I know of no information that the threat is so imminent from Iraq' that Congress cannot wait until January to vote on a resolution, said Minority Whip Nancy Pelosi (CA), the ranking Democrat on the House intelligence committee. 'I did not hear anything today that was different about [Hussein's] capabilities,' save a few 'embellishments.'

Sen. Richard J. Durbin (D-IL) said: 'It would be a severe mistake for us to vote on Iraq with as little information as we have. This would be a rash and hasty decision' because the administration has provided "no groundbreaking news"

"What was described as new is not new," said Rep. Robert Menendez (D-N.J.) about information that Rice and Tenet provided to lawmakers. "It was not compelling enough" to justify war. "Did I see a clear and present danger to the United States? No."

'OUTRIGHT CRAPOLA'
In the Wake of 9-11, the American Press Has Embraced a 'Demented Caesarism' Fooking Numbnut

Mark Crispin Miller writes, "Although the press was always marvelously soft on Bush - reveling in his ignorance, saying not a word about his many scandals past, approving his bald theft of the election - after 9/11 such mere protectiveness mutated swiftly into a demented Caesarism, such as one would once have found among the Soviets, or as one finds today in places like Zimbabwe, North Korea, Cuba (and Iraq).

"At first, this sort of thing was understandable, if nauseating, the fearful pundits and reporters - as usual excessively responsive to the mass hysteria, and at the time also hysterical themselves - exalting Bush into the leader that a stricken nation dearly wished it had. Thus Bush was hailed as "eloquent," "commanding" and "astute," "Churchillian" and "another Roosevelt," etc., although he clearly wasn't ever any of those things.... The fact that they... kept on treating this Bush as a god - ... notwithstanding the abundant evidence that he was not at all divine but barely human - makes it quite clear that the press was transformed big-time by the shock of 9/11.

"Although the evidence of our own senses tells us otherwise - after all, he's right there on TV - the press accounts routinely fix his grammar, and sometimes even call him "a six-footer," which is very clearly not the case. Such frank cosmetic touches are, to put it mildly, un-American, more reminiscent of the cult of Stalin than of anything in US journalistic history.

"And yet such frank improvements of the president's own voice and person are not half as troubling as the journalists' refusal to stay with those major stories that pertain directly to the ugly fix that we are in today: Dick Cheney's criminal involvement in the arming of Iraq (against which brutal nation he now urges us to war); John Ashcroft's kid-gloves treatment of the robber barons at Enron - and that firm's many links to the administration (a scandal from which Gulf War II might help distract the rest of us); the abject failure of the "war on terrorism," as bin Laden walks (or sits) at liberty, along with most of the al Qaeda leadership (a big distraction would help there); and, speaking of the bombing of Afghanistan, the ruinous effect of that impulsive move on our attempts to nab the terrorists."

CRAWFISHING OUT OF THE COUNTRY
Byron York wonders why the Bushies allowed their longstanding business connections, the bin Laden family, to high-tail it out of the US right after the terror attacks last year, in the National Review:

It's hard to reconstruct precisely how the departures were arranged. The only public statement the Saudis have made was in October 2001, when Prince Bandar, the Saudi ambassador to the U.S., said on CNN, "His Majesty said it's not fair for these innocent people to be subjected to any harm. On the other hand, we understood the high emotions. So with the coordination with the FBI, we got them all out." Otherwise, officials at the Saudi embassy in Washington decline to comment.

When NR called an official at Logan Airport, he said, "You have to talk to the State Department. They're the ones who set it up." But a State Department source said the department "played no role" in the matter. "This is not something we would have brokered," the source said. "Bandar does not need Foggy Bottom to get a phone call returned by the White House." That seemed a clear hint that the White House was involved, but the White House declined immediate comment, saying it would look into the matter.

Uh-huh. Par for the course with these guys, isn't it? And still the silence from our representatives in DC is deafening.

IN OTHER NEWS
White House: Timing of Iraq Crisis Not Meant to Distract From Corporate Scandals
Meant to influence mid-term elections.

Bush, in Pre-Emptive Strike, Punches Sen. Daschle
Claims he has evidence Daschle was going to hit him.

Administration Developing New Plan To Reinvigorate Slumping Economy
Put more money into hands of those who already have too much.

Poll: Media Losing Public's Trust
But then, who cares what the public thinks?

Plus, Ironic Times interviews Prince Bandar bin Sultan bin Abd Al-Aziz Saud. An exerpt:
"There are many voices being raised saying we support these terrible people who do bad things to you. These voices are loud and, frankly, annoying. In our country, when people speak thusly, we cut out their vocal cords."

It would almost be just like living in the AWOL Wonderchimp's Amurka!

VOULEZ-VOUS COUCHER AVEC LE PETIT CHIMPANZE'?
Tony "Fifi" Blair faced criticism from his European allies yesterday when the French president, Jacques Chirac, hinted that he found the British prime minister's support for the US on Iraq "sycophantic".
Mr Chirac used an interview in the New York Times to state that he found the Bush misadministration doctrine of pre-emptive military action in its fight against terrorism "extraordinarily dangerous" and to stress that France would never act as a lackey for America. "And quel le baiser is going on with the Harken/Halliburton investigations, anyway?"

Meanwhile, in Germany, Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder has repeatedly attacked the misadministration over Iraq of late. "Some are accusing me of endangering the German-American friendship. What kind of friendship is that if you are not free to state your opinion but instead have to stand there and click your heels together?" he asked.

Puh. It would be just like living in the AWOL Wonderchimp's Amurka!

I was awake most of the night last night. I thought I had planned to just write the whole thing off as commercial propaganda jingoistic horse-hockey, but my subconscious snuck up behind me and clobbered me with a brick. I've got the shakes and just can't concentrate on work.

Found this beautiful piece on 9/11 at BeerMary's Rant-O-Rama.

:(

AY CARAMBA
"So the enemy hit us, and instead of retreating, instead of filing -- only filing a lawsuit, we decided not only to get after them, we decided not only to hold them to account, we decided that we were going to love our neighbor, just like we like to be loved ourself." - the Oaf of Office, Louisville, 9/5/02.

"We value a free press. We value freedom. And the more we value freedom, the more they hate us. That's why. That's why the enemy still exists." - ditto.

- (thanks to Bartcop!)

SKULLDUGGERY
CNN Scrubs Connie Chung's Skull 'n' Bones Expose

Rense.com reports: "CNN spiked Connie Chung's widely-publicized 'expose' on Yale University's Order of Skull 'n' Bones, chapter 322, which counts among its membership George W. Bush and his father and grandfather before him, and influential aide and former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Brent Scowcroft - and Connie Chung ain't talking. The program -- billed at CNN's Web site to air 8:00pm ET, September 4, did not materialize; in its place was a story of a murder trial in Florida. Contacted repeatedly at CNN studios, representatives of Ms. Chung and producers of Connie Chung Tonight were either 'unavailable' or had 'no comment.'" (thanks to democrats.com, via email).

The folks at TAPPED are being very optimistic concerning the state of the Golfing Goober's poll numbers, and the fate of the fairy princesses Democratic party if we go to war with Iraq. They're a lot smarter than I am, so I'm going with it.




Good stuff as usual over at Skippy - even a link to get your secret Hobbit name! Dumbya's is Squinty Mumbles of Cokespoon. Or it should be, anyway..

I FEEL SAFER ALREADY
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Bunker Boy Dick 'dick' Cheney spent Monday night at a "secure, undisclosed location," White House spokes-tool Ari 'the Liar' Fleischer said today, due to "heightened security precautions" on the eve of the nauseatingly-named 'Patriot's Day.'

The U.S. government today increased its terror threat warning level to brown high, a senior U.S. official said earlier. After last year's attacks, Cheney spent substantial time in undisclosed locations, such as a duck blind, to 'ensure a continuity of government' in case of an attack that would kill Little Lord Bunnypants.

BECAUSE WE SAID SO
WASHINGTON (Reuters/wtf) - Unindicted Halliburton CEO Dick 'Chickenhawk' Cheney said it would be "virtually impossible" to assemble an international coalition against Iraq if Saddam Hussein ever got hold of a nuclear weapon.

In an interview with public television's "The NewsHour with Jim Lehrer" for broadcast Monday, Cheney also said that the potential for leaks from Congress could limit the administration's ability to give members classified information about Iraq's weapons capabilities. Faced with congressional demands for more evidence to bolster their case against Saddam, Cheney suggested the administration would provide information to only a limited group of senior congressional leaders. Yeah, we don't want Iraq to know that we know what weapons they have.

Dick said time was not on the side of the Republican party before November unless another war could be manufactured United States when it comes to preventing what he said were Saddam's plans to acquire weapons of mass destruction.

"Once he's got a nuclear weapon I think it'll be virtually impossible to put together an international coalition to deal with this problem," Cheney said. "So we better bomb the little f*cker now, before the election, just in case!"

"WHO CARES WHAT YOU THINK?"*
"..Throughout August we, the people, called for a national debate over invading, warring, and occupying. Last Wednesday the president seemed to finally agree: 'We look forward to an open dialogue with Congress and the American people,' he told reporters after briefing congressional leaders. The next day, however, he let it be known that 'one thing is for certain. I'm not going to change my view.' So much for debate." - P.M. Carpenter.

*Actual quote by the Compassionate Cowstalker to a taxpaying citizen.

UHHHHH, NEVER MIND.
Bunnypants Abandons Claim of Iraq-Al Qaeda Link

As it makes its case against Saddam Hussein, the Bush misadministration has for now dropped what had been one of the central arguments presented by supporters of a military campaign against Baghdad: Iraq's links to al Qaeda and other terrorist organizations.

Although administration officials say they are still trying to fix develop a strong case tying Hussein to global terrorism, the CIA has yet to find convincing evidence despite having wasted time fishing for combed its files and redoubled its efforts to collect and analyze information related to Iraq... [Analysts] cannot validate two prominent allegations made by high-ranking administration officials: links between Hussein and al Qaeda members who have taken refuge in northern Iraq and an April 2001 meeting in Prague between Sept. 11 hijacker Mohamed Atta and an Iraqi intelligence agent..

According to sources, the CIA believes that the last time Iraq planned an anti-American attack was in April 1993, when it organized a failed assassination plot against former president Bush-the-only-slightly-smarter during a visit to Kuwait.

- From the Washington comPost.

SAME SHITE, DIFFERENT DAY
When George H. W. Bush ordered American forces to the Persian Gulf – to reverse Iraq's August 1990 invasion of Kuwait – part of the administration case was that an Iraqi juggernaut was also threatening to roll into Saudi Arabia.

Citing top-secret satellite images, Pentagon officials estimated in mid–September that up to 250,000 Iraqi troops and 1,500 tanks stood on the border, threatening the key US oil supplier.

But when the St. Petersburg Times in Florida acquired two commercial Soviet satellite images of the same area, taken at the same time, no Iraqi troops were visible near the Saudi border – just empty desert.

"It was a pretty serious fib," says Jean Heller, the Times journalist who broke the story. ('Fib'?? It was a pathological, out-and-out crock of bullshit lie, for crying out loud. Snap out of it!)

That [Iraqi buildup] was the whole justification for Bush sending troops in there, and it just didn't exist," Ms. Heller says. Three times Heller contacted the office of then-Secretary of Defense Dick Cheney for evidence refuting the Times photos or analysis – offering to hold the story if proven wrong.

The official response: "Trust us." To this day, the Pentagon's photographs of the Iraqi troop buildup remain classified.

John MacArthur, publisher of Harper's Magazine and author of 'Second Front: Censorship and Propaganda in the Gulf War,' says that considering the number of senior officials shared by both Bush administrations, the American public should bear in mind the lessons of Gulf War propaganda.

'These are all the same people who were running it more than 10 years ago,' Mr. MacArthur says. 'They'll make up just about anything...to get their way.'

- From Scott Peterson's column at The Christian Science Monitor.

HARKEN? HALLIBURTON? WHAZZAT?
"But there is no - that's no - evidence that Iraq has nuclear weapons. Intelligence suggests, in fact, that Iraq is five or so years away from either securing or developing a bomb. The nuclear threat is not an imminent one, and it is not one, in any case, directed at the United States. We are a world away and have ample means to retaliate. Iraq would cease to exist. So what explains the Chicken Little remarks made by Bush administration spokesmen on the Sunday TV shows?"
- From War Without Evidence by Richard Cohen.

SH!T OR CUT BAIT
'Never mind about the election! Think of those poor, poor Iraqis!' Dana "Taliban" Rohrbacher (R-Ignoramus) bleated in anguish, smiling the whole time. 'We gotta get over there and bomb them now!'

Asshole.

Here's the transcript from last night's Crossfire.


Also on the Breaking News Network: Scott Ritter, bless him, just about called Dick "Chicanery" Cheney and Chimpy O'Harken liars. "I am willing to put facts on the table and back it up with sound analysis. You know, let us not be fooled here, OK? This would not be the first time that a president of the United States has lied to the American public to facilitate a war. Think to the Gulf of Tonkin resolution, and how we got entangled in Vietnam. I believe the same thing is happening right now. If President Bush has a case to be made, if this administration has a case to be made, for war against Iraq, then by God, they better start making it."

Word.

BUNNYPANTS LIES TO BLAIR ON IRAQ
Good stuff at MediaWhoresOnline:

The George W. Bush Administration is today embroiled in what may be the greatest scandal yet in its brief history - successfully getting support from Britain's Prime Minister Tony Blair for an imminent attack of Iraq on the basis of a blatantly phony reading of intelligence photographs and of an old report from U.N. atomic energy agency.

Sources in London tell MWO that Prime Minister Blair, who fell for the ruse, has been "very embarrassed" by the incident.

In Washington, expert observers pointed out that the shill bears the fingerprints of Vice President Dick Cheney. Last month, Cheney delivered a hawkish speech to the Veterans of Foreign Wars, charging that only an attack on Iraq right now would rid the world of the Hussein menace. Now, say observers, Cheney and his supporters may be trying to find whatever evidence they can, and skew it if necessary, to back up his case.

"Look, Dick Cheney cooked the books when he was head of Halliburton," one expert, who declined to be identified for this article, said. "Now he's cooking the photos on Iraq. Looks like Cheney's work."

WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!
This past week's Google searches - we get a new nick for Poppy's Widdle Poophead!

2 for "bush+is+arial+sharon's+bitch"
2 for "ann+coulter+fired"
1 for "Little+Lord+Bunnypants" (snort!)
1 for "W+Bunnypants"
1 for "email+directory+undertakers+in+America"
1 for "book+cooking"
1 for "crop+circles"

None for "Dick+Cheney+Halliburton+crimes" or "ann+coulter+really+a+65yearold+man."

THE DAILY WORD -- Learn it, use it, spell it
***********************************************
feeze \'fez\ noun [ME veze, fr. fesen, vesen to drive away - more at faze] (14c)
1) chiefly dial: rush
2) a state of alarm or excitement

Usage example: Then in a flustered giddy feeze of slug-like love-lust Lynne rushed up to Rummy and leapt into his arms and locked her legs around his bony little waist like one of those face-sucker things from "Aliens" and refused to let go until he called her "My little nuclear smut-dumpling" at least ten times.

- Mark Morford's SF GATE MORNING FIX, via email.

JUST GREAT.
Read it and weep, people:

The Toxic Tinhorn administration is asking Congress to ease environmental laws so 10 million acres of overgrown federal forests can be thinned more rapidly to reduce wildfires.

At the same time, the administration is quietly mapping a far more ambitious plan that would bypass Congress: changing agency procedures so such projects can proceed on 190 million acres with far less environmental scrutiny than is now required.

The administration strategy, still being fine-tuned, would involve an array of administrative changes to skirt some requirements of federal environmental laws. The result: Thinning projects wouldn't be subject to reviews gauging their environmental impact; citizens would have less opportunity to comment; and there would be fewer studies of the potential harm to endangered species.

Many conservationists say that short-circuiting fundamental environmental laws would cater to the timber industry and result in widespread abuses: commercial logging of large, valuable trees instead of brush and smaller trees that feed fires; thinning projects deep in the woods rather than near communities at risk; and excessive road building in sensitive wildlife habitats.

Last week, Agriculture Secretary Ann Veneman and Interior Secretary Gale Norton proposed legislation that would effectively exempt thinning projects from the National Environmental Policy Act. That 1969 law requires the government to study the environmental impact of its actions and involve the public in decision-making.

UH-HUH
The threat is urgent! But it can wait a month (from Scott Rosenberg's blog at Salon):

All summer, as the Iraq debate roiled and the Bush administration seemed locked on autopilot, springing leaks and exposing policy rifts, a mysterious question hung in the air. Why weren't we hearing from the president himself?

Did Bush intend war or not? Was his mind made up, or was he waiting to weigh the evidence and his advisors' counsel? You could give him the benefit of the doubt, as the Iraq-policy news gyrated wildly, by assuming the latter. But a story by Elisabeth Bumiller in Saturday's New York Times suggests that, in fact, Bush's mind has been made up all along, but that the delay in his communicating his views to the American people was the result of simple P.R. planning. Hear the words of White House chief of staff Andrew Card: "From a marketing point of view, you don't introduce new products in August." And Bush political guru Karl Rove says, in the same piece, "There was a deliberate sense that this was not the time to engage in his process. The thought was in August the president is sort of on vacation."

So: The product launch for Gulf War II had to wait a month because August is a lousy time to sell wars. And you didn't want your President Bush to cut short or otherwise mess up his vacation -- lord knows what he might do if he didn't get enough rest. All of which may actually make perfect sense in terms of poll-swaying realpolitik.

The Sept. 11 anniversary no doubt does make a better occasion to whip up a war hysteria -- and Rove has lined up some peachy, TV-friendly backdrops for Bush's two major speeches this coming week. There's just one little nagging problem here: The Iraq hawks keep telling us that the threat from Saddam Hussein is so urgent that an invasion cannot wait for U.N. inspectors, sanctions, more evidence of Saddam's possession of "weapons of mass destruction," or a good old congressional debate (though Bush is now grudgingly accepting that need).

Time's a-wasting -- we must have "regime change" now. But, hey, we can delay everything for a whole month if that makes things more convenient for White House TV consultants, and for Bush's ranch schedule.

Karl Rove actually says, "There was a deliberate sense that this was not the time to engage in his process. The thought was in August the president is sort of on vacation" and the whore media just let it pass. But it was supposed to be a working vacation, wasn't it, Karl?

I noticed yesterday that Egon is starting to get 'nads.





THE WAR FOR DISTRACTION, cont.
Crusader Bunnypants is Politicizing Intelligence Agencies to Fabricate Iraq Lies

The Detroit Free Press reports: "Senior U.S. officials with access to top secret intelligence about Iraq said they have detected no alarming increase in the threat posed to U.S. security and regional stability by Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein... There are no indications that Iraq has obtained the plutonium or enriched uranium needed for a nuclear bomb. Nor [is] Iraq poised to unleash chemical or biological weapons against Israel or other countries in the region... The officials insisted on anonymity because of ... an apparent desire not to be seen as disputing administration policy.

Their views "contrast sharply with Vice President Dick Cheney's warnings that Hussein will soon have a nuclear weapon or supply a weapon of mass destruction to terrorists. Those warnings are fueling the administration's drive to convince skeptical allies, members of Congress and the American public that the war on terror's next military front may be Iraq.

"Evidence actually suggests that Hussein has been careful to keep Al Qaeda at arm's length to avoid giving Bush an excuse to invade Iraq...Hussein is more concerned with eliminating any domestic threat to his grip on power and ensuring that he is succeeded by one of his two sons, Uday and Qusai."

As if I'm prolly not already in trouble enough with the Feds over the content of this page alone, I've been playing with mp3s the past couple of days, which is why I haven't posted too much over here. The system comes to a screetching halt.

BTW, once I get their addresses, I'll be sending Tom Jones and the Stereophonics a few $ for "Mama Told Me Not to Come." So bite me.



PLAY DEAD!
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Since the attacks of last Sept. 11, congressional oversight of the FBI has slackened considerably, allowing the agency to use aggressive tactics that may skirt the rights of suspects, liberal and conservative civil liberties activists say, in a story that just won't go away.

Not a peep from the pink-tutu'd Dems, but one of the few lawmakers keeping up the pressure on the FBI has been Indiana Republican Rep. Dan Burton who chairs the House Government Reform Committee. But he's a republican, so he doesn't have to worry about being called a commie traitor, I guess. Still, good for him.

F*cking Dems.


If you really want a good laugh while you puke, go here. I didn't know Howard "the Hormonal" Fineman had a twin brother!

It’s a glorious day - which means I just woke up and will be spending it inside, smoking cigars, drinking mojitos, and watching football!





NO COMMENT
"There's no doubt in my mind that we should allow the world worst leaders to hold America hostage, to threaten our peace, to threaten our friends and allies with the world's worst weapons." - the Oaf of Office, South Bend, 9/5/02.

Well, OK, maybe just one: You fooking dumbass!! And congrats, you and your nursemaids in the BFEE have succeeded beyond your wildest dreams.

QUOTE
"Here is Cheney, pounding his tight little fist on the podium and scowling hard and looking like a sad cross between the Pillsbury Doughboy and a mortician, trying not to get too agitated lest the defibrillator kick in, urging war war war now now now and never you mind how Iraq hasn't had weapons-grade plutonium to make nukes in well over a decade, thanks to ongoing UN intervention. This does not matter." - Mark Morford.




Everything's moving slowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwly today, as I'm playing with Grokster.

...THUD...
The Court-Appointed Asswipe has gone and proclaimed September 11, 2002, as "Patriot Day".

Got news for you, dumbass: we already have a Patriot's Day, celebrating the Battles of Lexington and Concord. John W in the BuzzFlash mailbag writes "you know, 'where once the embattled farmer stood and fired the shot heard 'round the world.' The Boston Marathon is tied to this event, something a runner should know, never mind a Harvard man, or is the running thing as bogus as his business career and his military service?"

From whitehouse.gov: "As we mark the first anniversary of that tragic day, we remember their sacrifice; and we commit ourselves to honoring their memory by pursuing peace and justice in the world and security at home. By a joint resolution approved December 18, 2001 (Public Law 107-89), the Congress has authorized and requested the 'President' to designate September 11 of each year as 'Patriot Day.'"

I wish they would've called it something else.

ROLL OVER!
WASHINGTON (Reuters/wtf) - In a 'show of unity,' Smirky McGolfcart and his poodle bitch British Prime Minister Tony Blair will meet at Camp David today to discuss diplomatic strategy for possible military action against Iraq

Unlike other U.S. allies that have expressed deep reservations about launching a pre-emptive military strike against Saddam Hussein, Blair has embraced the Warmongering Wonderchimp's nebulous mindset. "I hate war. Every sensible person does. But sometimes it is the right thing to do," Blair said while humping Bunnypants' leg.

The hastily arranged Camp David meeting between Bush and Blair is expected to showcase their solidarity, although both leaders say no decision had been taken on action against Baghdad.

In a related story, the Guardian has reported that the UK plans to sell part of its' defence research industry to Poppy Bush's Carlyle Group.

THE CHINA SYNDROME
Some of the fundamental changes to Americans' legal rights by the Bush administration and the USA Patriot Act following the terror attacks:

* FREEDOM OF ASSOCIATION: Government may monitor religious and political institutions without suspecting criminal activity to assist terror investigation.

* FREEDOM OF INFORMATION: Government has closed once-public immigration hearings, has secretly detained hundreds of people without charges, and has encouraged bureaucrats to resist public records requests.

* FREEDOM OF SPEECH: Government may prosecute librarians or keepers of any other records if they tell anyone that the government subpoenaed information
related to a terror investigation.

* RIGHT TO LEGAL REPRESENTATION: Government may monitor federal prison jailhouse conversations between attorneys and clients, and deny lawyers to
Americans accused of crimes.

* FREEDOM FROM UNREASONABLE SEARCHES: Government may search and seize Americans' papers and effects without probable cause to assist terror
investigation.

* RIGHT TO A SPEEDY AND PUBLIC TRIAL: Government may jail Americans indefinitely without a trial.

* RIGHT TO LIBERTY: Americans may be jailed without being charged or being able to confront witnesses against them.

- from Tom Tomorrow, with thanks to Blah3. For all you bushmoonies who're picturing the folks in Gitmo and are beating off, the above applies to everyone and anyone, as in American citizens. 'Americans may be jailed without being charged or being able to confront witnesses against them.' Good God.

There isn't enough coffee in the world this morning - and from all the noise, it sounds as though the cats had something to do with it.



ATTACK OF THE LAPTOP WARRIORS
"Last summer, the armed forces staged some war games. The scenario was that of an attack on Iraq. In the games, which involved 13,000 troops and a vast computer simulation, Paul Van Riper (retired Marine Lieutenant General) played the role of Saddam Hussein.

"In that role, he kicked Pentagon ass. The Guardian story in which he was interviewed described it thusly: “In the first few days of the exercise, using surprise and unorthodox tactics, the wily 64-year-old Vietnam veteran sank most of the US expeditionary fleet in the Persian Gulf, bringing the US assault to a halt.” The Pentagon, which apparently likes its tests well-rigged to produce pleasurable results, decided this wouldn’t do. So they “unsunk” the naval fleet that Van Riper’s tactics destroyed, and brought back to life the thousands of American casualties. They then instructed Van Riper’s people to disregard a large amphibious landing, and then, and only then, were the “Americans” able to defeat “Saddam.” " - Bryan Zepp Jamieson.

QUOTE OF THE DAY
"Saddam Hussein didn't kill 3,100 people on Sept. 11. Osama bin Laden did, and as far as we know he's still alive." - President Bill Clinton, urging the Menace of Midland Thursday to finish the job with Osama bin Laden before taking on Iraq (thanks to stranger at Blah3 for the link).

"HELLO? HELLO? AH KNOW YOU'RE THERE, AH KIN HEAR YOU BREATHIN'. HELLO?"
WASHINGTON (Reuters/wtf) - Napoleon Bonehead today attempted to persuade France, Russia and China to back his goal of ousting Saddam Hussein as he prepped for a U.N. speech next week.

Poppy's Little Poophead called French President Jacques Chirac, Russian President Vladimir Putin and Chinese President Jiang Zemin, who all have questioned any pre-emptive military strike on Iraq. Each call lasted about 10 minutes, officials said.

Pooty-poot earlier in the week had told the Ignorant Impotus to take a hike. The Kremlin said Putin told British Prime Minister Tony Blair by phone that he had "deep doubts that there are grounds for the use of force in connection with Iraq," and that the use of force could have "serious, negative consequences for the situation in the Gulf region, the Middle East and for the future of the U.S.-led anti-terrorism coalition."

Chirac told Bunnypants the U.N. Security Council should decide what action to take if Baghdad rejected the return of U.N. weapons inspectors, not unindicted Halliburton CEO and warmonger chickenhawk Dick "dick" Cheney.

It has not been reported what came out of the talk with China, but an identified source tells us Jiang, during the phone call, donned a cowboy hat and repeatedly stuck his index finger down his throat.

Thanks to Scott J. for sending this!

ACTUAL CAPTION !!
Wow. Check this out, before somebody pulls it -

Recovery and debris removal work continues at the site of the World Trade Center known as "ground zero" in New York, March 25, 2002. Human rights around the world have been a casualty of the U.S. "war on terror" since September 11. - REUTERS/Peter Morgan: here, before it's too late.

STUFF
New link: Free Pie has finally been added!

An 8-foot boa was just captured in the next town over. Man, that would've been a great skeleton to find...

"WTF" has hit the 5000 mark today! Thank you, everyone!




MAYBE CHINA ISN'T SO BAD AFTER ALL
"I have to wonder how those who tragically perished almost a year ago would feel about how their deaths were being used by those without shame. How would they feel about Bush Jr's 'Trifecta' joke? How would they feel about John Ashcroft arresting and holding people indefinitely without charge or access to a lawyer in their name? How would they feel if they knew Bush Jr. just sat there in an elementary classroom for around 25 crucial minutes between the first and second strike of the WTC - and did nothing!! How would they feel if they could know they are pointed to as a reason for dismantling many of the freedoms we still hold dear? I know that had I been one of them, I'd be slipping St. Peter a bribe to allow me to entertain these people with a nightly dose of Charles Dickens type visits every night for as long as they live." - W. David Jenkins III, America Held Hostile.

'mf' pokes head out of slime to see if BeerMary
is out there waiting to kick his ass again.


QUOTE
"But the administration needn't worry; if history is any guide, many reporters will soon return to their usual cringe. The next time the administration insists that chocolate is vanilla, much of the media — fearing accusations of liberal bias, trying to create the appearance of "balance" — won't report that the stuff is actually brown; at best they'll report that some Democrats claim that it's brown." - Paul Krugman.


TODAY IN HISTORY
1901: President McKinley, a republican, was shot and mortally wounded .
1966: Star Trek premiered on NBC.
2001: Fresh from his month-long vacation, Bunnypants abandoned the Clinton-era effort to break up Microsoft.

PRES. CARTER B!TCH-SLAPS BUNNYPANTS
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Former President Jimmy Carter, warning against a unilateral U.S. war against Iraq, said on Thursday that Baghdad poses "no current danger to the United States," and also criticized America's drift away from its historical role as a global champion of human rights.

"Formerly admired almost universally as the pre-eminent champion of human rights, our country has become the foremost target of respected international organizations concerned about these basic principles of democratic life," Carter said. "We have ignored or condoned abuses in nations that support our anti-terrorism effort, while detaining American citizens as 'enemy combatants,' incarcerating them secretly and indefinitely without their being charged with any crime or having the right to legal counsel," he added.


"Now watch this drive"



WOULD YOU LIKE FRIES WITH THAT PRETZAL?
"If you don't have any ambitions, the minimum-wage job isn't going to get you to where you want to get, for example. In other words, what is your ambitions? And oh, by the way, if that is your ambition, here's what it's going to take to achieve it."- the Oaf of Office in his speech to students in Little Rock, Ark., Aug. 29, 2002

THE SHERIFF'S A DICKHEAD!
LOUISVILLE, Ky. (Reuters) - The Yellow Pustule of Texas said today he will make the case to world leaders that "history has called us into action" against Iraqi President Saddam Hussein.

"I look forward to a dialogue. I'm a patient man. I've got tools, we've got tools at our disposal," Bunnypants said in a speech in Louisville, Kentucky, where he was raising funds for a fellow republican running for Congress.

He rode a blazing saddle
He wore a shining star
His job: to offer battle
To bad men near and far.

He brought us fear and he brought us hate
He killed my 401(k)
He made his blazing saddle a nuke to blight the way.

Yee-hah.

SPEAKING OF SNOT RAGS...
(Thanks to atrios for raising my blood pressure with this link.)

Norah Vincent, who sounds suspiciously like gasbag, writes:

"But, I must say that the so-called blogosphere, liberating as it can be, is—as I have had the misfortune of discovering in recent days—also full of nasty riffraff and wannabe pundits who because they haven’t an earnest, original idea in their heads, fill their empty existences sniping impotently at legitimate targets. By legitimate targets I mean people who have actually had some measure of success in their professional lives, people who get published regularly in the mainstream press because, yes, they have a certain degree of talent, but moreso because they have something more to say on a weekly basis than “boo hoo” or “look ma, no hands.”

"Sadly, as one friend of mine put it recently, the internet is something of an “echo chamber,” and this means that even the flimsiest vitriol gets posted and reposted, annotated and updated ad nauseam until the accumulated pettifogging becomes a kind of beslobbered palimpsest that looks and reads like a snot rag."


Talk about slobber. "Earnest, original ideas"? You mean like you and your "journalist" pals spewing the the WH's propaganda-du-jour? At least some of us aren't parroting whatever piece of spurge comes out of Karl Rove's mouth day after day, or rolling over like obediant little lapdogs: "If I don't watch what I say or kiss the administration's ass they'll banish me from the press pool!" Mainstream press...the f*cking Charlie Brown cartoons get published regularly in the mainstream press, too, and we all know what tired pieces of pap those are.

Oh, and bite me.

MONKEY MAIL !
"mf" writes: "if you don't like it, move to china. or start some group and go picket something. but stop whining and do something with your life."

Mom?!?

Dear mf, thank you for your concern, but you're a dumbass. Why bring up China when we're well on our way to becoming as oppressive, fanatical, and secretive? Snap out of it. Start reading the papers - or better yet, internet newssites - instead of being glued to Faux Nooze like a fooking zombie. And if you had bothered to read this page instead of just looking at the pictures, you'd've realized that besides breeding calico cats, running the Black Helicopter Watch, and collecting deer skulls, I'm doing plenty with my life.

Now, I must go and put the finishing touches on the bomb shelter.

Thanks for writing!

We get our first hate mail, write lyrics, and learn a healthy alternative for salt.





WAR OF DISTRACTION HITS SPEED BUMP
WASHINGTON (AP/wtf) - Citing nebulous if not totally bogus 'constitutional concerns', Dick "Chicanery" Cheney and the White House are refusing to turn over information in two lawsuits against the Toxic Tinhorn's energy task force.

The latest move by the BFEE in the two court cases will require further rulings by U.S. District Judge Emmet Sullivan, who has already ordered evidence-gathering to proceed in the lawsuits. The judge has said he wants the process to be narrowly focused to avoid raising constitutional issues. Sullivan had given the administration until Tuesday to file any objections. The next hearing is scheduled for Sept. 13.

"Judge Sullivan made it clear that he would not tolerate this type of gamesmanship," Larry Klayman of Judicial Watch, a conservative group, said Wednesday. "We're just hoping that he doesn't have any kind of 'gun-cleaning accident' or decide to leave to 'spend more time with his family' until this thing is over with."





QUOTE
"It appears that Halliburton made a bundle under Cheney's watch selling equipment to Iraq to rebuild their oil fields. Approximately $24 million. Putting it mildly, it is the height of hypocrisy for Cheney to call Saddam an imminent danger when his company helped Saddam to gain the money to acquire nuclear weapons, if indeed Saddam has. No wonder he doesn't want to release the papers regarding his energy policy meetings and is ducking service on the Judicial Watch lawsuit against Halliburton. Guess it's just Republican business as usual - business without honesty or integrity." - wonder_woman94618, from the yahoo message boards.




"I CALL IT 'MR and MRS TENORMAN CHILI'"
I'm soooooo glad the 'adults' are 'in charge.'

CBS News is telling us that barely five hours after American Airlines Flight 77 plowed into the Pentagon, Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld was telling his aides to come up with plans for striking Iraq - even though there was no evidence linking Saddam Hussein to the attacks.

Now, nearly one year later, there is still very little evidence Iraq was involved in the Sept. 11 attacks. But if these notes are accurate, that didn't matter to Rumsfeld.

"Go massive," the notes quote him as saying. "Sweep it all up. Things related and not."

'Go massive'???! Is that like 'kill em all and let God sort em out'? "Nuke em till they glow'? Good Lord.

WTF??????
"I'm here to talk about education. Before I do so, I want to remind people we've got a lot of challenges ahead of us here in America. One of the things that's very important as we confront those challenges is to never forget about education. See, the big challenge we have now is to make sure the enemy doesn't hit us again. That's a big challenge. I want the students to understand here why someone would want to hurt America in the first place. And it's because your country loves freedom; that's why. We love freedom. We love the freedom to worship - see, we value the idea of being able to - people being able to worship freely an Almighty God. That's what we value in America. And we're not going to change." - pReznit Dumbass, back-to-school photo-op, Little Rock, 8/29/02.

Jeezus K. Hamburger.....

STATESMAN of STOOPIDVILLE
"Saddam Hussein is a serious threat. He is a significant problem. And it's something that this country must deal with. And today the process starts about how to have an open dialogue with the elected officials and, therefore, the American people about our future and how best to deal with it." - the Oaf of Office, at today's photo-op with Congressional "leaders."

"I will first remind the United Nations that for 11 long years, Saddam Hussein has side-stepped, crawfished, wheedled out of any agreement he had made not to harbor - not to develop weapons of mass destruction, agreements he's made to treat the people within his country with respect. And so I'm going to call upon the world to recognize that he is stiffing the world. And I will lay out and I will talk about ways to make sure that he fulfills his obligations." ('stiffing'?)

"We are in a new era; the first battle of the - the first war of the 21st century took place in Afghanistan. The United States is under threats. We are - we spent a lot of time, people around this table, good-hearted people who care deeply about America spent a lot of time thinking about how best to secure our homeland even further. And this is a debate the American people must hear, must understand. And the world must understand, as well, that its credibility is at stake." - yerp.

- transcript here, and it's the real thing, not the one from whitehouse.org!

Hmmmmm: I've got the US Gov'mint and the United Arab Emirates visiting this site.
Might be a good time to gas up the car, feed the calico cats, and not feed the dobies.

Image by GregW from DU


"Rest assured I'll be working for you 24/7. That's 24 hours a week, 7 months a year." - Will Farrell as the Golfing Goober, on a SNL rerun last night.


THAT'LL BE THE DAY
We wait and wait for someone in charge to ask: Invade Iraq? Are you nuts?

We wait and wait for the media to stop showing deference and start showing some defiance.

Doesn't it seem as if the government is wasting billions and billions of dollars on unnecessary or unworkable "security" - an exercise that reminds me of a raccoon attracted to anything that sparkles? Doesn't it seem as if we are botching chance after chance to prove to the world that the United States, in the face of a potential threat, can still assure equal justice under the law?

Isn't it odd that government leadership is so rabidly intent on invading Iraq that it appears more attention is being paid to overthrowing a nation's psyche (our own) by zealous public relations than accumulating any solid evidence such an invasion is necessary?

You want to send soldiers to Iraq? Didn't we do that already? Is it a measure of cynicism if we think that this is an attempt to take everyone's attention away from endemic regulator-ignored corporate criminality? Or to keep people from noticing that a human-rights-stomping religious fanatic may be running the Justice Department?

Would it be a stretch to use adjectives such as mind-numbingly inept, politically bankrupt, or intellectually vacuous in describing American foreign policy, a policy seemingly cribbed from a collection of Little Golden Books?

More damning, perhaps, is the thought that it's nearly a year later and the administration is still looking not for justice, but for blood revenge, a lust fueled by intentionally vague or false information and a desire to rewrite the Constitution, in secret.
- George Hesselberg, Wisconsin State Journal.

OUT OF CREDIT
Count on the Brits to b!tch-slap the BFEE, the pink tutu'd Dems, and the whore media.

Leave aside the question of whether its Iraq policy - whatever it actually is this morning - might possibly be right. What is indisputable is that the US government has wrecked, possibly beyond repair, its hopes of persuading any other country to that effect by simple, arrogant incompetence. It is terrifying to watch. It could be the next bestseller: How to Lose Friends and Influence No One, by George W Bush.

{snip} The Democrats, of course, are terrified that their patriotism will be impugned; that some nasty old rightwinger like Bill O'Reilly of Fox News will say horrid things about them. Someone needs to tell the American people the truth: that whether or not the Iraq policy is right, the government's methods of making its case have been staggeringly inept. Bush says he will "consult". But he is so deeply committed rhetorically that he can only pull back from here with extreme loss of face. If he is faced with a choice between starting an unnecessary war and looking an indecisive prat, we can guess which way Bush will jump.

MOMENTS IN CHURCHILLIANA
""There's no cave deep enough for America, or dark enough to hide." - the Oaf of Office, Oklahoma City, Aug. 29, 2002.

"See, we love - we love freedom. That's what they didn't understand. They hate things; we love things. They act out of hatred; we don't seek revenge, we seek justice out of love." - the Incredible Wonderboob, Oklahoma City, Aug. 29, 2002.

My head hurts.





EQUINE
Kid Rock should kick his sorry ass.

It's pretty fooking stupid funny that Hopalong Noodlehead has been getting all these gifts of saddlery, when the only thing he knows how to saddle up is a golf cart.





I'M SURE IT'S JUST A COINCIDENCE
Not only is pReznit Privilege back "at work," but the US stock market tanked, and the Nikkei hit a new 18-year low (link here).

'CHENEY'S NIGHTMARE OF PEACE'
Snipped from Robert Scheer's column, here.

War could be just the thing to banish the Halliburton specter.

Cheney is unmoved by voices of moderation. He even argues that the return of U.N. weapons inspectors to Iraq, something the U.S. and our allies have been demanding for years, would only strengthen Hussein.

Perhaps the veep is worried that the inspectors might not find the weapons of mass destruction that he, almost alone, is convinced are already operational.

As for the CEO-in-handcuffs nightmare, it would be wrong to deny Cheney the presumption of innocence in any of the possible violations by Halliburton being pursued by the Securities and Exchange Commission.

Still, one can imagine Cheney bolting awake in a cold sweat and moaning, "How could I have been so stupid as to make a video effusively thanking Arthur Andersen for giving me 'good advice over and above the normal by-the-books audit arrangements'?" There's just no way that sounds good when the SEC is looking into whether Halliburton cooked the books like those of other companies that the disgraced accounting firm helped to defraud stockholders.

QUOTES
"In exactly one year, the president and his men have managed to divide a nation unified by the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001. The administration's obsession with deposing Saddam Hussein looks to be one of the stupidest efforts to manipulate public opinion in the country's democratic history." - Richard Reeves.

"America thinks if it controls the oil of the Middle East then it will control the world," - Saddam Hussein, 9/2/02.

"My pro-life position is I believe there's life. It's not necessarily based in religion. I think there's a life there, therefore the notion of life, liberty and pursuit of happiness." - the Oaf of Office, Jan. 23, 2001...

"...and he's going to lead us into war with the iraqis" - kirk the birdherder, 8/28/02.

STUFF
I'm not a big Adam Sandler fan, but when I saw a clip of him on TV last night as The Wedding Singer singing "Love Stinks" at a wedding reception, I was laughing so hard my stomach hurt.

I've added a new section for links, moved some links around, and added a few more. The poll has been moved to the left-hand border, hopefully, and I'm still trying to fix the main page so it's more readable.

If anyone has any suggestions for stories or sites, please email me!

Recent Google Searches:
3 for "julian+epstein"
1 for "coke+snorting+mistresses"
1 for "crawford+ranch+pig+farm"
1 for "buttsniffers"
None this past week for "rush+limbaugh+hot+hamster+love," "sean+hannity+transvestite+party" or "ann+coulter+blows+for+frenchfries".

Thanks to IssuesGuy at Seeing The Forest for posting the link to get your war on, now up to 13 pages of total sicko 'toon humor.

Greetings to our recent visitors from the US Military, Spain and Australia!

QUOTES
A strike against Iraq would be a "massive crime against all international law." - Former US Attorney General Ramsey Clark.

"Wrapping myself in the flag and blindly following the lead of a man who has never served* into the morass of an endless war is not my way of loving and serving my country." - Korean War veteran Wilson Powell , National Administrator of the St. Louis-based Veterans For Peace.

"Gore won the election. I keep telling you that. " - Ralph Nader, to Bowtie-Boy on Crossfire.

*See the Official Chickenhawk Database, here.





IT'S GOOD TO BE THE DICTATOR -TOT
Bush has spent a whopping total of 250 days of his presidency at Camp David (123 days), Kennebunkport (12) and his Texas ranch (115). That means Bush has spent 42 percent of his term so far at one of his three leisure destinations.

To date, the president has devoted far more time to golf (15 rounds) than to solo news conferences (six). The numbers also show that Bush, after holding three news conferences in his first four months, has had only three more in the last 15 months - not counting the 37 Q&A sessions he has had with foreign leaders during his term. - CBS reporter Mark Knoller's stats, found here.





BUNNYPANTS: TOO RUDE OR TOO CHICKEN TO TALK WITH MR MANDELA?
JOHANNESBURG, South Africa (AP) - Nelson Mandela said Monday that he is "appalled" by U.S. threats to attack Iraq and warned that Washington is "introducing chaos in international affairs." He said he had spoken with Squinty McSquirtypants' daddy and one of pReznit Poopypants' nursemaids, Secretary of State Colin Powell.

As several world leaders at a summit here urged restraint by the United States, South Africa's revered former president issued a stinging rebuke to the Bush administration.

"We are really appalled by any country, whether a superpower or a small country, that goes outside the U.N. and attacks independent countries," Mandela said before going into a meeting with French President Jacques Chirac. "No country should be allowed to take the law into their own hands."

The 1993 Nobel Peace Prize winner said he tried to call the AWOL Asswipe to discuss the matter but that the 'president' was 'not available.' Mandela said he instead spoke with Powell and former President George Bush.

Sorry, but the pictures of the blasphemous cat-scratching posts at Birdherder.com had me LMAO.

BUT HIS EYES SAY YES...
MOSCOW (Reuters) - Russia warned the United States on Monday that using force against Iraq would undermine stability in the region and complicate chances of settling the Iraqi issue.

Foreign Minister Igor Ivanov, speaking at a news conference alongside his Iraqi counterpart, said Russia had no evidence that Iraq posed any threat to U.S. security.

Ivanov said Russia challenged statements by some U.S. officials that there was no alternative to a military solution.

"We have not found a single well-founded argument in these statements demonstrating that Iraq represents a threat to U.S. national security," he said. "These statements are political in nature."

Snippy the Chimp's soulmate Pootie-Poot could not be reached for comment.

EU AWARDS BILL CLINTON !
MUNICH, Germany, Sep 02, 2002 (AP WorldStream via COMTEX) -- Former President Bill Clinton is being awarded a prize for the economic achievements of his government by a union of European businesses. Bwaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha!

Clinton will be presented Oct. 4 with the European SME Award on behalf of the Brussels-based Union of Small and Medium-sized Enterprises, its German chapter announced Monday. The former president is expected to receive the dlrs 100,000 prize in person in Munich, the group added.

The organization said Clinton was chosen for the award for his "outstanding efforts" that led to a "flourishing world economy and international foreign trade" during his two terms in office.

The award to Clinton marks the first time that the business union has given a European-wide prize. Former recipients of the German group's national prize include German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder and his conservative challenger in Sept. 22 elections, Bavarian governor Edmund Stoiber.

- as seen on the bushmoonie site, as was this:

The Man of the Year Event honoring President William J. Clinton to benefit the New York Chapter of the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation International will be held on Thursday, September 12, 2002 in the Grand Ballroom of the Waldorf-Astoria.

The September Man of the Year event benefits the New York Chapter of the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation International in its support of diabetes research. It is one of New York's largest and most prestigious fundraising events of the season. Adding to the glamour of the Man of the Year Gala will be Special Guest Performer and 8-time Grammy Award Winner, Sheryl Crow; Master of Ceremonies, CBS News Anchor Ernie Anastos; and Oscar and Tony Award winning actor Kevin Kline presenting the Award.

President Clinton's extraordinary leadership to increase funding for diabetes research exemplifies his dedicated commitment to find a cure for the millions who suffer from diabetes and its complications. In 1997, with the words "we cannot rest until we find a cure that will free our children from this disease," President Clinton set in place an unprecedented $2.4 billion federal commitment for diabetes research, treatment and education.

Predictably, the 'moonies are crapping in their panties with frustration.
LOLOL. Read 'em and weep, you f*cking morons.

QUOTES
"[W] celebrating labor day is a bit like David Duke celebrating Kwanzaa." - DumpGump, over at DU.

"Bush has proposed what he calls a plan for preventing forest fires by letting the lumber companies cut down more trees. He says clearing some of the forests will mean fewer fires. This is comparable to killing every other baby at birth to reduce deaths from starvation." - Andy Rooney, Sept. 1. 2002.

"Breaking News: CNN Still Has Those al Qaeda Tapes." - the Daily Probe.

From those hardworking folks at DU, a brand new The Top Ten Conservative Idiots: the Stand By Your McVeigh Edition. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll wonder if it's too early to start drinking.

Pundit Pap is back! An exerpt:
"Claire Shipman said Cheney's speech was "approved" by Shrubya, who even made "changes."

"We pulled a muscle laughing.

"Seriously, Claire -- do you REALLY believe that Smirk has even half the brains needed to rewrite policy speeches? The only talent this idiot has is for lining his own pockets at the expense of shareholders -- and there's no doubt he needed help doing that, too."

All that and a great fake Time cover, too!

Image by baconslab


Some light reading with your morning coffee: the 40 Greatest Metal Albums of All Time, according to Spin. Actually, very light, as they're doing it in serial form. At this rate, you won't know what #1 is until end of next week, if you're still playing their little game.



HOT !!
New movie at Blah3.com: "Question Mark #13/Money Part 6: 'That's What I Want'"! What the Smirking Cokemonkey does on vacation.

THE MOONIE TIMES BITCH-SLAPS CHENEY
"...in the case of Iraq, the Bush administration began by making plans to get rid of Saddam Hussein, and realized only later that it might need to explain why. Judging from Vice President Dick Cheney's recent effort to rally support, it's still groping for a good excuse.

"The vice president said it would be intolerable for Saddam to expand his arsenal of weapons of mass destruction. Why? Because 'he is amassing them to use against our friends, our allies, and against us.' Once he has nukes, Saddam would 'seek domination of the entire Middle East, take control of a great portion of the world's energy supplies, directly threaten America's friends throughout the region, and subject the United States or any other nation to nuclear blackmail.'

"But several countries have nuclear weapons, and none has found them very useful in making others do their bidding." - more here.

I think I got the Poll section back up and running. Either that, or I screwed up my html codes again.

OUCH!
If sucking up to the House of Saud were an Olympic event, George W. Bush would be a contender for the gold.

He was at his fawning best last week, when he hosted the Saudi Arabian ambassador, Bandar bin Sultan, for lunch in Crawford, Texas. The ambassador, who showed up with six of his children, was treated to what The New York Times called "the full ranch treatment" - a meal of grilled chicken and biscuits followed by a personal tour in the president's pickup of the 1,600-acre ranch. The White House PR staff released photographs of the two men chatting, and President Bush's spokesman sang Bandar's praises. The Saudi envoy is "a very seasoned diplomat," WH spokes-tool Ari 'the Liar' Fleischer gushed, "a very affable fellow, very good humor, speaks English better than most Americans." Certainly better than Poppy's Little Poophead. Hours earlier Bush had phoned Saudi Arabia's Crown Prince Abdullah and urged him to ignore the growing expressions of anti-Saudi sentiment in the United States - exemplified by the Rand Corporation analyst who had recently told a key Pentagon advisory board that the Saudis "are active at every level of the terror chain, from planners to financiers, from cadre to foot soldier, from ideologist to cheerleader."

Such talk, Bush assured him, "cannot affect the eternal friendship between the two countries."

Bush cannot honestly believe that there is "eternal friendship" between the United States and the country that supplied 15 of the 19 Sept. 11 hijackers. Certainly most Americans don't. A poll released last week indicates that 63 percent of the US public had a negative opinion of Saudi Arabia, up from 50 percent in May. And that's after the Saudis spent more than $5 million on a coast-to-coast advertising and lobbying blitz aimed at winning American hearts and minds.

- snipped from Jeff Jacoby's column in the Boston Globe (with some comments by yours truly, who couldn't help herself).

PICS OF NESSIE?
People watching the webcam at Loch Ness think they've seen the Loch Ness monster: here and here.

Andrew Whyley (35) was surfing the web when he decided to make a visit to the underwater webcam at Lochness Live, part of Scotland Online, who host web cams above and below the water at Loch Ness.

"I was browsing the internet, and the site is always good for a five-minute look on the off-chance," he said. "When the image came on the screen I thought 'What the hell is THAT?' and snapped away," said Andrew, a buying manager from Nottingham.

He managed to captured four or five good images during the time the 'creature' was in front of the camera.

Hmmmmmmm...

TIME MAGAZINE: 'YOU F*CKING IDIOT!'
The new issue of Time on the Dictator Tot's "strange little presidency":

"It is tempting to believe that Bush rose to the occasion last September because flag and country demanded it. But with the passage of a year, and a chance to watch the President in action at home and overseas, it's harder to get away from the idea that Bush didn't rise to meet history but that history fell to meet him. In one horrifying two-hour period, the world shuddered and conformed to his way of thinking: there was good and there was evil, and it wasn't hard to tell the difference. If Bush didn't know much about foreign policy, that hardly mattered, and it may have helped him. Privately, Bush even talked of being chosen by the grace of God to lead at that moment, and perhaps he was. But it was also, as one of his advisers told Time, 'one of history's rare unnuanced days.'

"There is now a growing sense in the Republican Party that it is time for Bush to move on - and a growing apprehension that he cannot find the ways and means and words to do so." - now you tell us.

EDITOR SPANKS* VICIOUS WINGNUT, FIRES 'HER' ASS
*And not in a good way, either. Kudos to this guy! While the "mainstream" media continues to kiss 'her' bony butt, he's kicking it. Here's his letter:

Dear Ann Coulter:
You're fired.
It's not that extreme viewpoints are unwelcome on the opinion pages of the Centre Daily Times. All political viewpoints, from Cal Thomas on the right to Molly Ivins on the left, are welcome here.

But, we don't welcome haters, Ann, and that's what you are.

Well, you are either a hater or a hypocrite who calls names and spews enmity because you believe it will get your pretty face on television more or sell more copies of your best-selling books.

In either case, we won't be publishing your Friday column anymore. We decided not to publish a piece of yours a few weeks back because it was nothing more than a sexual history of some of your enemies -- i.e., private citizens who dared to give money to the Democrats.

I wrote a column about why we held the piece and told readers then that if you continued to cross the line, we'd can you.

Your Friday column, in which you declared that liberals are "no good," then trashed the entire Kennedy clan as a collection of "heroin addicts, convicted killers, cheaters, bottleggers and dissolute drunks," crossed that line. I'm not going to defend the Kennedy family or liberals; either group can argue with you if they'd like.

But, Ann, you're mean - vicious, really - which is why we do not believe that you in any way serve the public good.

On a late summer morning almost a year ago, all of us - Republicans, Democrats and everyone else - witnessed what hate is capable of.

Since that day, Americans have tried to remember that they are on the same side, regardless of differences in skin color, nation of origin, religion or political viewpoint. It has not always been easy because, more than ever, those who are different can seem more threatening. But we're trying because what we have in America is worth keeping.

And, Ann, you're not helping. You do nothing to elevate our spirits, to celebrate the great bond that holds us this unruly people together and makes us a nation.

Hate is easy; love is hard.

Our great nation gives you the freedom to hate all you want and even to make a buck off it if you can. But, even better, it gives us the right not to have to listen.

So, Ann, you're fired. I expect some of our readers are going to be mad at us over this, but we hope they'll understand that while we joyfully publish a wide spectrum of political and social viewpoints, we condemn hate where we find it.

You won't miss us much, Ann. Heck, you're rolling in money. And your fans can find your column on the Internet anyway.

We'll start looking for someone to replace you. It won't be easy because you sure are flashy and a lot of folks like flashy. But political conservatism has produced other columnists of merit whose ideas will provide subjects fit for public consumption and debate - writers who do not believe those who disagree with them are traitors, or worse.

Sincerely,
Bob Unger, executive editor (Centre Daily Times of Penn State)

- as seen on the ultraviolent, psycho bushmoonie site, where the reaction is predictable. These people should be locked up. Disgraceful and pathetic.

WHY DOES HE HATE AMERICA?
"Bush is all by himself - except for the 'gang of four' - in his pursuit to avenge his Poppy. Iraq is no more dangerous now than it was almost two years ago when the Kid stole office. We hadn't heard a dad-burn thing about Iraq until the 'fortunate one' made his infamous 'axis of evil' speech.

"It boils down to this. He's made a horrible mess of a prosperous and peaceful country in record time. Now he needs to do something to take our minds off so many things. And even worse, it's personal. Any first-year psychology student can recognize that.

"People are out of work, their 401s are garbage, the ice in the Arctic Ocean is turning to slush and the best he can come up with is 'we'll get used to it' - not to mention he's got a maniacal zealot for an Attorney General who just can't seem to help but shoot buckshot into the Constitution every chance he gets.

"And to make matters worse, now we got Cheney speaking to veterans about how he knows that Saddam has the weapons we fear. Well, by golly, if anybody should know what Saddam has it would have to be Cheney. After all, he did spend his Halliburton CEO-ship selling Iraq over 20 million dollars worth of weapons technology from 1998 to 2000, dodging trade sanction violations by channeling the sales through foreign companies.

"Psssst. The Vice President is a traitor. Shhhhhhhh."
- W. David Jenkins in America Held Hostile, here.

SHORT BITS
Buckeroo Bonehead's overall approval rating has slid to 61 percent, down 4 percent from the last poll in mid-July and down 27 percent from a high of 88 percent last October. - pMSNBC.com.

The economic recovery lost momentum in the second quarter, and in a fresh sign of weakness, new claims for jobless benefits last week climbed to their highest level in nearly two months. - SFGate.com.

Diplomatic gap widens between rogue nation and rest of known universe. Sept. 11 "was a moment to be seized and was not," said Egyptian Foreign Minister Ahmed Maher. "This sort of Dallas syndrome - with us or against us - is not helpful." - Washington comPost.

It's the economy, stupid. Support for war with Iraq drops: large majorities say that military action in Iraq would lead to higher oil prices, instability in the Middle East, and an increased chance of terrorism in the United States. - the Breaking Nooze Network.

Resident Dumbass on Saturday "closed out the final hours of his 32-day escape from Washington by designating September as a month of service" to honor victims of Sept. 11. - Yahoo/AP News.

GOP House candidate accused of forging signatures. A would-be candidate for Pennsylvania state representative has been ordered to stand trial on charges he forged signatures on a petition to get his name on the ballot for the May primary. - the Post-Gazette.

BUNNYPANTS' AGENDA INCLUDES TRIP TO BOGUS RANCH
On his 'to do' list when he returns from his month-long vacation and fundraising junket:

He wants a big new Pentagon budget, energy bill, legislation guaranteeing pension security and terrorism insurance and a new Homeland Security Department - all on his desk in the next five weeks.

Other items that White House spokes-tool Ari "the Liar" Fleischer identified on Cap'n Cowpie's wish list for the remainder of this Congress: an energy bill that would increase domestic production of oil and gas; guarantees that businesses will have access to terrorism insurance; new pension protections; a ban on human cloning; welfare reform, including stiffer work requirements for benefit recipients; legislation making government social services grants available to religious groups.

pReznit Gameboy's economic team is deliberating whether to seek another round of tax cuts in an effort to stimulate the economy, but some advisers said they'll probably be shit-outta-luck on that baby, since the federal budget will remain in deficit until pResident Clueless's last round of tax cuts expires in 2010.

Add to that yet more fund-raising for republican candidates to build on his year-to-date haul of $109 million for the runup to the November election. The Unelected Idiot plans to campaign for republicans around three days a week, two cities per day, in September. Come October, he will pick up the pace to five or six days of campaign travel each week. Using taxpayer money, no doubt.

He'll be back at his pig farm, Compound W on Oct. 25 to welcome Chinese President Jiang Zemin.
- Yahoo News.


TOP ITEMS ON BUSH'S TO-DO LIST:
1) Keep stirring up the shit about Sadaam to try to create an excuse to send American boys to Iraq to kill and be killed in order to steal Iraq and give it to the Big Oil companies.

2) Run the mouth about homeland security and Sadaam and other things to make people forget the deepening mess in Afganistan where the administration seems to be stuck with no idea what to do next and, mainly, to make the American people forget the economic mess where the Bush administration is lost on what to do.

3) Push hard to get another governmental deppartment, the Homeland security department, to piss off tax dollars and get a bunch of rednecks running around the country harrassing anyone who looks different.

4) Push the Bush Energy Bill which is a bullshit plan that will increase profits for oil companies and increase American dependence on imports. Oppose any serious steps on conservation. Stir up shit with Iraq to justify sending troops to steal Iraq and give it to the Big Oil companies. Kiss Saudi dictator's ass as often as necessary.

5) Push for a Big New Pentagon Budget. Ignore fact that the USA already has by far the largest military in the world and already spends far more money than any other two countries combined on military shit. Get more and more military so Bush Administration can bully others and avoid having to negotiate or use any diplomacy. Being a bully is more fun and easier than using diplomacy. Also, bullying gets the rednecks and flag worshipers all pepped up. - jamoney8, yahoo message boards.

SENATOR HAGEL: 'QUIT BULLSHITTING THE AMERICAN PEOPLE'
A Republican senator said he did not believe Saddam had nuclear weapons and warned U.S. officials against "scaring" the American public with predictions that he is about to get them.

"My bottom line is that I don't think he does possess nuclear capability," Sen. Chuck Hagel of Nebraska said of the Iraqi president on CNN. "[T]o scare the American public by saying this guy is a couple of months away from not only possessing nuclear weapons but a ballistic missile to deliver those, that's dangerous stuff here."

VP Cheney incommunicado in his secret bunker
during a break in the War for Distraction campaign.


Yeah, yeah, I'm awake.


WAR OF DISTRACTION TO CONTINUE
LONDON (Reuters) - Colin Powell said today that Washington wanted the "first step" toward solving the Iraq crisis to be the return of weapons inspectors to assess Saddam Hussein's arms capability.

Powell's comments appeared to contradict the stance taken by warmonger and unindicted Halliburton CEO Dick 'Chickenhawk' Cheney, who said last week there was no point in sending inspectors back into Iraq but instead hammered home his case for pre-emptive military action.

Speaking in an interview recorded for BBC television, Powell said the Fratboy Figurehead wanted to see the inspectors, who were forced out in December 1998, go back in.
- Yahoo News.