May 31, 2002

Sweetness and Light Edition

Butterflies! Bunnies! Bluebirds in the birdbath! Flowers! Kittens! A newborn fawn in my front yard this morning! It's Friday, and everything is so darn peachy I could plotz. The dogs didn't poop on the carpet today, last year's snapdragons are blooming, the bear actually left a birdfeeder standing...the sun's in my heart, and I'm ready for love....

I'm making myself sick. Damn you, John Ashcroft. *

If Life hands you lemons today, smile and give thanks. Then when Life isn't looking, give him a quick knee to the groin.
That'll learn him.

"I think that any time you have countries with nuclear arms, that a tension, serious tension is dangerous. And it's hard for me to measure the degree of tension." - the Oaf of Office, 5/02.

"Hic! Condi, where's ma bottla pretzels?!"

How many times is that blasted radio station going to play "Burning for You"?? And yet "Transmaniacon MC" never gets any airplay.

Table of Contents from Katherine Harris' New Book:
Chapter 1 - Call Me Madame (Secretary)
Chapter 2 - Yes, This is my Hair
Chapter 4 - Election Day, 2000
Chapter 7 - Dieting and Elections: Getting the Results You Want
Appendix - Recounts, Flori-dada Style!
Chapter 15 - Wherein Jeb and I Behave With the Utmost Decorum and Impartiality
Chapter 8 - Funny Jokes About Gore Overheard at the Victory Party
Chapter 3 - In Conclusion
Chapter 5 - Simple Crafts You Can Do With Spare Ballots You Find Around the House

A clownish performance from a spoiled brat

For a moment it looked as if Jacques Chirac had swallowed something unpleasant. The French president gazed uncomprehendingly at George W. Bush, his lips pursing and then opening in what looked like a Gallic gasp for air.

It was halfway into a press conference in the Elysée Palace on Sunday afternoon and Mr Bush had just stumbled his way through another answer, forgetting part of the question and joking at his own lack of focus. "That's what happens when you get past 55," he cracked.

Not only is Mr Chirac about to turn 70 but his advanced age was, for a while, a sensitive issue in the presidential election campaign just finished. It was as though Mr Chirac had gone to Washington a few weeks after Mr Bush's inauguration and made flippant remarks about the unreliability of recounts and the role of patrimony in American presidential politics.

Mr Bush's insult was unintentional, of course, but it was not the only jaw-dropping moment in Sunday's performance by the travelling American president. Earlier Mr Bush had said he was looking forward to trying some French food, because "[Jacques] is always telling me the food here is fantastic", apparently indicating that he had not heard about the quality of French cuisine in his previous 54 years on the planet.

Later he got into a peevish exchange with an American reporter who had graciously asked Mr Chirac a question in French. "He memorises four words and plays like he's all intercontinental," Mr Bush sneered. Reporters shuffled their notebooks and looked at their feet, embarrassed by this spectacle of an American president jeering at a fellow American for speaking their host's language.

- From The Financial Times.

Call me kooky, but I could swear we've had (real) presidents make trips like this without the loss of their dignity, tact, and gravitas.

*Meant in the nicest possible way.

Pop-up ads are getting pretty extreme...

May 30, 2002


THE PRESIDENT: My fellow Americans. This morning, it is time the White House addresses the escalating problems between the Indians (dot, not feather) and the Pakistinos. As it has been explained to me, nukular war is not healthy for children and other living things. Unless of course, you're fighting a war against the fetus-eating monsters from the Axis of Evil or other anti-Americans such as Muslims, feminists, tree huggers who won't let you drill in Alaska, single colored mothers and the ACLU. - - - (LOL - read more at link above)

Well, just great - Breaking news from yahoo: Justice Department gives FBI authority to monitor Internet sites, libraries, churches and political organizations.

The new rules allow agents to conduct "general topical research" and "pure surfing" designed to find Web sites, chat rooms or Internet bulletin boards with information about terror, bomb-making instructions, child pornography or stolen credit cards.

It was nice knowing you.

Are those testicles under those tutus??

Senate Democrats today asked Attorney General John 'Crisco' Ashcroft to explain why the 'Justice' Department chose not to file lawsuits in nine cases it was investigating for possible voting rights violations. Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Patrick Leahy and four other Democrats requested in a letter that Ashcroft supply them with the jurisdictions involved, the violations alleged and the reasons for closing the nine cases.

Last week Assistant Attorney General Ralph Boyd told the committee that the department was preparing lawsuits in five cases arising out of complaints about violations in the 2000 presidential election — one in Missouri, one in Tennessee and three in Florida counties.

Boyd said the five suits came out of 14 active investigations that resulted from more than 11,000 complaints. The Florida cases focus on language assistance issues, but the department has not provided details about the locations or the nature of the nine investigations that are not being litigated.

The senators also questioned the position of the Justice Department in a dispute between Florida's Democratic Attorney General, Bob Butterworth, and its Republican-led legislature over a congressional redistricting plan.

They said the legislature and Republican Gov. Jeb Bush, the president's brother, "in an unprecedented move," excluded the attorney general from any role in submitting the new voting plan to the Justice Department for review, as they are required to do under the 1965 Voting Rights Act.

"The actions of the Florida legislature and the governor raise serious concerns about the legitimacy and potential legality of the reapportionment plan," the senators wrote. - - (from yahoo news).

They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient. But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.

Last Night on Crossfire:

Bowtie Boy: Our quote of the day comes from a lame duck Secretary of State, who is trying to get herself elected to the Congress. Katherine Harris, infamous for trying stop Florida's recounts after the presidential election, is attempting to further her political career by writing a book. It's title, our quote of the day, "Center of the Storm: Practicing Principled Leadership in a Time of Crisis."

Paul Begala: Tucker, I have an alternative. How about "Banana Republican: How a Maybelline Abuser Stole the Election."

'Journalism should never yield to 'patriotism'

'Are you an American first, or are you a journalist?'

Unfortunately that question - posed to a journalists' meeting in Salt Lake City in April by distinguished newsman Bill Kovach - is necessary after Sept. 11, as the few who dared critique the rush to war were attacked for being insufficiently patriotic. Too many journalists responded to the post-9/11 hyper-nationalism by waving the flag, literally and figuratively.

Even Dan Rather, perhaps the most vocal journalistic patriot after the tragedy, has had second thoughts, confiding in a BBC interview May 16 that "patriotism run amok" has led to self-censorship by journalists, himself included.

Kovach's challenge and Rather's confession are compelling, but unfortunately formulated in a way that diverts journalists and citizens from a more crucial question: Are you an American first, or are you a human being? That's the question for everyone after Sept. 11.

The answer depends on the meaning of patriotism. Two definitions competed after the terrorist attacks. One was the patriotism of President George W. Bush: "You are with us, or you are with the terrorists," meaning "get on board with plans for war, or ..." Or what? The implication was that real Americans rally around their government and traitors raise critical questions.

- Read more at Newsday.

'American tragedy as cool photo op'

We’ve all heard about the Republican National Committee’s direct-mail piece offering donors three photographs of court-appointed president Bush, including one of him on Air Force One on September 11 as he hightailed it out of harm’s way while his nation was under attack.

Kind of makes you pine for the good old days when all that might have turned up in your mailbox was anthrax or a bomb, doesn’t it?

The Air Force One shot is a rare photo — in the background, actual Bush spin doctors are concocting the very lies they told us September 12 to explain away why Bush went Barney Fife on September 11. The appeal, although distasteful, is well-targeted. A photo of Bush covering his own ass does present a certain primal allure to Republicans.

According to the GOP letter, the three pictures depict:

"... the gritty determination of our new president at his inauguration" (as he bravely appears in public without a drool cup on the day he literally takes office).

"... a telephone call from Air Force One to Vice President Cheney on the afternoon of Sept. 11, 2001." (But I’m scared to come home, Unka Dick.)

"... and President Bush’s historic State of the Union speech before a joint session of Congress that united a nation and a world" (in disgust over his inane "axis of evil" allegations).

In light of the shocking news that George W. Bush actually knew something (or anything), the Republican National Committee should withdraw the offer of photos of Bush on the Day He Should Have Seen Coming and add some other shots as premiums.

Barry Crimmins kicks ass - read the rest here.

Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Robin...

If you search out Bush's behavior that day, it is illuminating. I heard someone say that character is what is demonstrated by the actions of people under pressure. When the most colossal disaster ever hit the U.S., how did George W. Bush behave? Like a leader, a protector? He behaved like a valuable jewel, which must be saved at all costs, no matter if the world should be destroyed, this above all things must be protected.

No one seems to know what to do. It's a chain of command that runs in a circle. There is no leadership. This would be bad if the talent being handled was John Travolta or Madonna. But in this case the property being handled was the president of the United States, the man who is supposed to be the prime mover for the whole country, and he's just like some scared puppy dog that is waiting to be told what to do. The trouble is, the Bush machine pulled off a marvelous heist taking over the government, but when the country is in crisis, it is in need of leadership, and there is no trace of leadership in the Big Money politics game. George Bush portrayed by the desperate efforts of the major media as a leader isn't credible and no one really believes it. Everyone, even the people who work closely with him, know he's not a particularly bright bulb, but it doesn't matter. He serves a purpose. He's a poster boy. An actor, not much more. Bush reads some lines with something that looks enough like conviction to convince a lot of people of his sincerity. That is fine for soundbite production, for maintaining a propaganda campaign. But when it comes to leading your country out of crisis, what is needed is something extraordinary.

Anyone who has looked even casually at Bush's history - even the public, scrubbed version - knows that the lack of substance he seems to project on camera is no illusion. No profile in courage this boy. So when disaster struck - it's no great mystery -- he ran like a chicken with its head cut off.

- Read more of David Cogswell's article at BushWatch.

May 29, 2002

Trying to fix a link....

Time for Dick to Go

It's time for Vice President Richard Cheney to resign.

Alex Berenson and Lowell Bergman, two of the New York Times' finest reporters, wrote last week and again today that Halliburton Corporation, under the responsible or irresponsible eyes of its then-Chairman, Dick Cheney, altered its accounting practices so it could report $100 million in challenged costs on large construction projects instead of reporting them as potential losses.

What does this mean? To the layman, it means quite simply that Cheney and Halliburton LIED BALD FACED to its investors, overvaluing the Company by $100 million! And Halliburton now tells us this was a run-of-the-mill accounting decision which Cheney would not have been aware of?

- Read more from Mac MacArthur at AmPol.

Actual Letter to the Editor:

'As a former intelligence professional, I find it interesting that, following immediately upon President George W. Bush's being singed by criticism of his office's inaction pre-9/11, there are dire warnings of new terrorist actions - "but who knows where or when." This warning without specifics is either manufactured hype to bolster the sagging ratings of our oilman in office, or an indication that it's incompetence as usual at our intelligence agencies. This is a president who blows up Afghanistan and kowtows to Arabian "royalty" when it was Saudi money and manpower that killed thousands of Americans. This is a president whose appointed lackeys declare war on the Constitution in the name of "national security," while our best and brightest are unable to provide the American public with competent threat analysis. This is not the price we pay for freedom; these are the overcharges we suffer for politics as usual.'

"The culture of my generation, our generation, has clearly said, 'If it feels good, do it, and be sure to blame somebody else if you have a problem.'" - the Oaf of Office, 10/2000 (from Mark Crispin Miller's The Bush Dyslexicon).

In Other News:

Bushes Deny Business Ties to Bin Laden Family

Bush Officials Eat Babies; Approval Ratings Steady at 75%

Convicted Klansman Didn't Know Killing Minorities Illegal

Study: Incest Rates Drop During Country Music Award Shows

The Top 15 Redneck Porno Movies

15. I Know You Done Your Sister Last Summer

14. Turn Her and Hooch

13. Urban Cow, Boy!

12. Debbie Does Dullards

11. I Am Curious, Ol' Yeller

10. 9 1/2 Teeth

9. The Silence of the Sheep (Gawd Willing)

8. Nasty NASCAR Nimphama--, uh, Nymfama--, uh, Crazy Nekkid Gals!

7. Deep Goat

6. Crouchin' Brother, His'n Sister

5. Auntie Get Your Gums

4. The Girl Who Could Not Run Faster Than Her Brothers

3. Behind the Green Teeth

2. Bob and Carol and Bessie and Babe

and's Number 1 Redneck Porno Movie...

1. Three Men and a Beatty

"The snoop and the dupe" - the French press, talking about Pootie-poot and Daddy's Widdle Dumbass.

"Bush and Putin signed a nuclear arms treaty. Then Dick Cheney had to sign under 'Parent or Guardian.'" - Leno

"Lance Best of 'NSync wants to do a special in space. Just as long as they don't show it on Earth." - Conan

To truly love another, you must first love yourself. And it wouldn't kill you to wash your hands in between either.

Fineman Pithed by Aliens!!

Must've been one hell of an anal probe.

Why the holy horsepuck Whoreward Fineman is anybody's 'chief political correspondent and nooze analyst' is beyond me. Maybe he's hoping for a PR position under Karl "the walking douchebag" Rove after they fix the next election. 'Chief political whorespondent' is more like it.

Here's what the syncophantic, propaganda-spewing toady had to say in his most recent screed:

"President Bush is vastly popular and, based on what we know, blameless for failing to anticipate 9/11. When the guy at the top isn’t in danger, that takes the drama out of the proceedings. Americans hate traditional political infighting, and view a wider probe of the Bush administration as an attempt at headline grabbing and payback."

Who the f*ck has he been talking to, bushmoonies?? What "Americans"?? He goes on:

"A quarter of the country (staunch Democrats, mostly) think he was elected illegitimately and is too eager to serve the needs of the rich. But most everyone else (including some Democrats) thinks he’s a straight-shooter and, more important, a rare and precious type to have found his way into the Oval Office: a regular guy with regular guy values and instincts."

WTF?? Is pmsNBC/Noozeweak turning into Tiger Beat? Did Fineman fall on his head?? Did he have to change his panties after writing that crap??? Will he make MWO's "Whore of the Week"?! Arrrrgggghhhhh..

Justice Dept Pithed by Aliens!!

Surprise, surprise: The "Justice" Department said Tuesday it found no credible evidence that any Florida residents were intentionally denied their right to vote in the state that handed Chimpy the Boil-faced Bonghead his victory in the 2000 presidential election.

"While the Civil Rights Division discovered evidence of significant confusion and delay in the three counties, there were relatively few voters who actually did not vote because of these problems," wrote Assistant Attorney General Ralph Boyd.

He said the small number "doesn't reasonably cast any doubt on 'president' Bush's several hundred vote margin of victory in Florida."

You know, some days I just feel completely numb. - - read more of the article here.

Most of Country Pithed by Aliens!!

Here are some quotes from the George W Bush Defender's Handbook:

January - September 2001: OK, he's stupid, but at least he's not Bill Clinton.

September 2001 - April 2002: OK, he's stupid, but how dare you criticize our Commander In Chief during wartime, you unpatriotic, treasonous, Jane Fonda-loving, communist asshole! That's outrageous! Pathetic! You're giving aid and comfort to the enemy!

May 2002: OK, he's stupid, but the FBI let him down! He didn't know anything! It's Clinton's fault! And you better shut up and crawl back into your hole because the terrorists are coming again! Not if but when!

At least we all agree he's stupid. That's bad enough. But the people with brains surrounding George apparently think the rest of us are just as dumb as he is. - - John Monty at

Gene Lyons Kicks Butt:

An administration that came to power on uncounted ballots now argues that a public inquiry might tempt politicians to seek partisan advantage. Very well then, let them try. Answering legitimate questions is precisely what the democratic process, a bit like the adversarial process in a courtroom, was designed to do. While emotionally appealing, the idea that we should be above politics is an argument for monarchy -- an attempt to avoid scrutiny and accountability by an administration which insists upon strict performance standards for welfare recipients, schoolteachers and the nation's fourth graders.

Only the mood of craven power-worship among Washington pundits and the rabbit-like timidity of congressional Democrats makes something so elementary worth saying. Another truism: people who lie usually have something to hide.

'Beyond Embarrassment'

That's it, I quit! I cannot believe what's going on. Now, I was under the impression that the "adults were in charge." The news of the last few days has been so mortifying and so humiliating that I cannot believe that anybody, Republican or Democrat can stand behind George W. Bush without making faces behind his back.

Before anything else happens, would somebody please tell that little twerp that Condi Rice and Colin Powell are not the only black folks in the world? When talking with Brazilian president Fernando Henrique Cardoso, Baby Bush, God bless him asked, "Do you have blacks too?" How, how, how did this guy get out of grade school let alone get to be president? Oh no, don't give me the "corrupt Supreme Court" thing again. I'm sorry, but in order to elevate this level of stupidity and ignorance to the highest office in the country you need more than a corrupt court! This is the equivalent of putting an infant behind the wheel of a car and thinking that buckling baby's seatbelt will prevent an accident! And of course the American media has "missed" this particular story but the rest of the world hasn't. Not only did thousands of them protest against Bush and his policies during his visit to "Yurp," now they're also laughing their Old World butts off at him. And us.

We know that you knew more than you're letting on about 9/11. We saw you just sit there in an elementary class that day doing nothing for around 25 crucial minutes between the first and second attack on the twin towers. Knowing what you knew. You just sat there with that dumb look on your face. The same dumb look that we've become accustomed to. The same dumb look that the rest of the world sees every time you get asked a tough question.

- - W. David Jenkins III, at America Held Hostile.

May 28, 2002

I may have to keep all three.

Big thunderstorm coming in - must shut down for a bit.

I saw this at and just had to have it.

Moments in Churchilliana: Adventures with America's Dingleberry

"Look, the only thing I know to do is speak my mind, to talk about my values, to talk about our mutual love for freedom and the willingness to defend freedom. I think a lot of people on the continent of Europe appreciate that, appreciate the fact that we're friends, appreciate the fact that we work together, that there's a heck of a lot more that unites us than divides us." - the Oaf of Office, somewhere in France, 5/02.

Resident Clueless said that in Berlin -- where 100,000 gathered to protest on the eve of his visit -- he saw "hundreds of people lining the road, waving" as his motorcade passed. In central Paris, several thousand people demonstrated against his visit.

Later, when President Chirac called on a U.S. reporter, Emperor Snippy remarked sharply that "that's generally not the way it's done," adding later to Chirac: "I'll call on the Americans."

In Germany, at a news conference with Prime Minister Schröder, he talked of the West's obligation "to help Russia securitize the dismantling — the dismantled nuclear warheads."

"There are people who don't want peace and therefore are willing to kill." - the Oaf of Office, responding to the latest suicide attack in Israel.

- - from the Washington comPost and the NY Times

'Friends' Act Fails to Heal Rift', Jacques' nick isn't as cool as "Pooty-poot":

President Chirac lectured the US leader on why Europe found America's attitude to these subjects overbearing and self-serving. Their discussion was described as "frank", which is the standard diplomatic code for a failure to agree. On the environment, in particular, the French President said all countries should learn to reduce pollution and the consumption of "resources that cannot be renewed".

Repeated at a joint press conference, this assertion brought a blank stare from the Boob of Kennebunkport, who spent almost his entire career before politics in the oil industry.

Smirky the Red-nosed Boozer seemed to be in a skittish and unfocused mood after a five day tour to Germany and Russia. He referred twice to Mr Chirac as "President Jacques" and pronounced the French President's second name throughout as "Shrak".

Rumors that President Chirac called bugs bunnypants "le petit toutou imbécile" have not yet been confirmed.

'Why is the New York Times defending Bush's September 11 cover-up?'

(snip...) Once the official version of September 11 is called into question, the political and moral legitimacy of everything the government has done over the past eight months collapses. What then emerges is not merely some “failure of intelligence,” but rather the existence of a conspiracy organized at the highest levels of the state.

Were a serious investigation to be conducted, it would rapidly reveal that the Bush administration failed to prevent the terrorist attacks because it had already elaborated plans for war and internal reaction long advocated by the most right-wing sections of the ruling elite, and was looking for a suitable provocation to justify their implementation.

That is why after more than eight months there has been no investigation, and the government has responded so vitriolically to growing calls for a public inquiry—issuing threats to silence its critics and lurid warnings of new terror attacks to divert and disorient the public.

The response of leading organs of the US media to last week’s revelations has been aimed precisely at preventing a serious investigation. Among those sections of the American media that have echoed the threats and sophistries of the White House and sprung to its defense, the most significant from a political standpoint is the New York Times.

from Barry Grey in Pravda - read it and weep, media whores.

Oh 'Really? No, Not Really!

Spin this!

Bill O'Reilly's national radio program is tanking. Already, reviews of the program by listeners have been less than flattering, and some hard numbers are beginning to show the cracks: Arbitron ratings taken by WOR, O'Reilly's flagship station in New York, aren't at all encouraging. A radio industry insider predicts that O'Reilly will drop out of radio within a year.

While O'Reilly's WOR ratings show a "spike" of interest in the opening few days of the new show, the numbers suddenly took a nosedive. Insiders say the numbers show listeners are tuning in to O'Reilly to check him out. They apparently don't like what they hear and are not coming back. - - (from the alternate-reality nooze site, via the bushmoonie page)

In Other News:

Bush: 'Don't blame me, I lost the election'

White House Admits Far Greater Contact With Enron Than Previously Disclosed
But not nearly as much as it will be forced to admit to later.

Rumsfeld: Terrorists Will "Definitely" Acquire Nukes
Therefore, we might as well be the ones to sell them to them

CDC: 7% of U.S. Kids Have Attention Deficit Disorder
Percentage of adults with ADD even larger than whatever it was for kids.

O'Reilly Radio Talk Show Offers Alternative to Limbaugh
Will attack liberal media at a different time and station.

Bad News: Uninsured Patients 25% More Likely to Die Than Insured Patients
Good news: 25% fewer uninsured patients.

Last week we stated that "the government of Iraq used deadly nerve gas on its own people in the nineteen-sixties." That should have read, "the government of the United States used deadly nerve gas on its own people in the nineteen-sixties." We apologize for any confusion this may have caused.

Don't Wag Your Finger at Us, Mr Bush
by Henry Porter in the London Observer :

There's a lot about 'president' Bush's manner, breezing through Europe and telling us all to pull our socks up, that makes you want to wipe the smile off his face. 'Iraq ought to be on the minds of the German people,' he said to a TV station in Berlin, 'because the Iraq government is a dangerous government.' Well, yes, but how exactly has Saddam's stance changed since this time last year when America was enjoying the first month's of George Bush's carefree unilateralism and Iraq was some way down the agenda?

The 'president's lecture tour of Europe and Russia reminds us how little experience he has of foreign affairs and how recent is his discovery of the history and complexities of issues which have been unquestionably better covered and probably better understood in Europe than in the US. As if to underline this point, the US Joint Chiefs of Staff have used the Commander-in-Chief's absence from Washington to reveal their deep concerns about any attack on Iraq.

Europe may have its faults, as Bush and Colin Powell reminded us last week, but whatever our weaknesses of coordination, resolution and principle, it still seems mightily rich of Bush to expect us to go along with a policy General Tommy Franks, head of US Central Command, said would require at least 200,000 US troops and result in large casualties.

Eight months on from the 11 September attacks George Bush's reflection on the grave new world appears to be no more than a couple of slogans deep.

. Whatever else emerges from the Congressional inquiry into what went wrong on 11 September, we can certainly conclude that there was a monumental lack of grip at the top. And it is from this man that we are now all expected to take a dressing down about moral fiber, cohesion and foresight.

At the end of this week it is clear that Bush's presidency is showing signs of being disorganized and intellectually under-powered. He returns home to face a group of generals who are in more-or-less open contempt of his plan to launch against Saddam and an intelligence community which is riven with competition and cover-ups about who knew what before the al-Qaeda attacks. Reason enough for Europeans to be circumspect about his slogans in the future.

May 27, 2002

Emperor Snippy shows the world what Honor and Dignity are all about:

The Smirking Halfwit lashed out at a network reporter in Paris Sunday, challenging press claims of increasing anti-America sentiment throughout Europe.

NBC's David Gregory asked Napoleon Bonehead at a joint press conference with French President Jacques Chirac about why "there are such strong sentiments in Europe against you and against this administration."

"Why, particularly, there's a view that you and your administration are trying to impose America's will on the rest of the world, particularly when it comes to the Middle East and where the war on terrorism goes next?" Gregory asked. Then in French, he asked Chirac: "And, Mr. President, would you maybe comment on that?"

"Very good," Drinky McDumbass shot back. "The guy memorizes four words, and he plays like he's intercontinental."

"I can go on," Gregory returned.

"I'm impressed - que bueno," squawked El Dorque, saying in Spanish, "how wonderful."

"Now I'm literate in two languages," he bleated. "So you go to a protest and I drive through the streets of Berlin, seeing hundreds of people lining the road, waving. * I don't view hostility here," he whined. "I view the fact that we've got a lot of friends here.

"And the fact that protesters show up - that's good," ** Laura's Little Loser added. "I mean, I'm in a democracy." ***

- - from CNSNooze, via the bushmoonie site.

* their middle fingers
**they weren't cordoned off behind '1st Amendment Zones'
***not like here

Dan Rather's still got it:

Rather called Don Imus back Friday to protest that he "never said the attorney general was warned specifically about 9/11 threats and therefore covered his own security." But Rather escalated the dispute instead, insisting that Ashcroft's conduct "doesn't look particularly good" when contrasted with the failure to warn American passengers. "Maybe it would be better for him to spend a little less time trying to sully up my reputation in a way and cover his backside and more time trying to get things straight."

- - from Whoreward Kurtz's basically worthless column.

Letters to the Editor:

Just because George W. Bush has proved to be a strong commander in chief*, let's not lose sight of the fact that he leaves much to be desired as a president. He is a still a shill for the religious right, a crony of big business and big oil, and, most importantly, he is still merely a politician looking to be re-elected. It's the latter that troubles me the most. To be against Bush is to be against the war and to be against the war is to be against America. Ask the Democrats. They're having difficulty voicing any opinion remotely critical of "W" and his agenda. Perhaps the member of his cabinet that personifies this the most is Vice President Dick Cheney (a more arrogant, patronizing "public servant" I have not seen since Richard Nixon). Cheney avails himself to the American people only to remind us that there are many things we do not know about.

I can't believe I'm hearing how beside themselves Republicans are because this administration is being questioned on what was known before 9/11. Take Sen. Trent Lott, who has indignantly asked who would dare accuse a president of knowingly permitting an attack on the United States? Where has he been? For over 60 years, some have been trying to demean the greatness of Franklin Roosevelt, accusing him of having prior knowledge of Pearl Harbor. Suddenly it is unpatriotic and politically motivated to ask how much was known by this administration before 3,000 people went to their deaths. I guess what Republicans are saying is that Sept. 11 is not as important as Clinton's alleged Whitewater scandal and his indiscretions, which was nobody's business but his wife's. They obviously want to brush under the rug the way they tried to disgrace a sitting president at a taxpayer's cost of over $60 million. But God forbid that the public should ask what did you servants of the people know and why was it kept from us for over eight months after the tragedy?

How Ironic. George W. Bush, in reference to lifting the trade embargo on Cuba, declared that to do so would be to "underwrite tyranny, and we cannot let that happen." I'm sure our friends in Saudi Arabia and China will back us up on that. He later added that the embargo might be lifted if Cuba holds "free and fair" elections. Perhaps after that happens, Cuba would be kind enough to show us how it's done.

Warnings foreshadowing the Sept. 11 attacks were suppressed for several reasons. Preventive action would have involved Saudi Arabian nationals, and Saudi princes get upset whenever U.S. law enforcement investigates Saudis. The lobby funded by the Saudi princes - claiming to speak for the whole Arab-American community - would have expressed outrage. If the Saudi princes played their oil card, the oilmen running the Bush administration would risk losing their fortunes and political power. Consequently, they would have punished top FBI officials severely for enraging Saudi princes, even if this were necessary to prevent 3,000 deaths. The Bush administration cannot escape responsibility for withholding information that could have averted the Sept. 11 attack.

- - from NY Newsday

*sez you

There's a new sheriff in town - and he's an asshole

Iran said today that Daddy's Little Doofus was acting like a sheriff in the Wild West by trying to bully other countries to end their nuclear and arms cooperation with Tehran. "Bush thinks he is still living in the age of the cowboys, and that the world is like Texas with him as its sheriff," Iran's Defense Minister Admiral Ali Shamkhani said.

"He must know the time of cowboys is over. It is now the time to withdraw his gun," he said, quoted by IRNA news agency. - - (from yahoo news)

Pope to Meet With Bush This Week
"Oh, dear Lord, not that idiot again, " Pontiff exclaims.

I might have to keep this one.

It amazes me that lightning did not strike the AWOL Wonderchimp at Normandy today.
"Each person buried here understood his duty, but also dreamed of going back home to the people and things he knew," the Smirking Cokemonkey said. "Unfortunately, they didn't have rich daddies with rich friends like I did. Or they did, but were too honorable to....what was I saying??"

If You Wanted Clinton Impeached, Take a Look at Bush

' I have to wonder at the astounding silence from those who frothed and rattled ceaselessly for the impeachment of Bill Clinton. Isn't it inconsistent and blatantly dishonest not to be calling for an investigation of the sitting administration?

'Bush-Cheney have thrown a blanket of secrecy over all sorts of information for no apparent reason other than to establish precedent by which they can withhold anything. I can't see how this serves the public. All of this seems suspiciously evasive and clearly at odds with the ideals of free and open government. There are grounds for suspecting that this administration's top officials are obstructing lawful investigation into possible criminal wrongdoing. So why is it so quiet? I recall many people clamoring that refusal to release information implied guilt when it was the Clinton administration that was withholding information. In contrast to the Bush-Cheney regime, the Clinton White House was extremely forthcoming in supplying information upon request.

(snip.....) 'The offices of the president and vice president of the United States of America are being abused and dishonored by George W. Bush and Dick Cheney. It is quite clear there is ample reason to believe that this administration may have committed crimes and misdemeanors great enough to warrant impeachment. I still don't hear the calls for justice from those of you who couldn't say Clinton's name without bringing up impeachment. Maybe you're tired from the long fight. But I know you will raise your voices again in defense of the honor and integrity of the office of the presidency of the United States of America. Soon the silence will stop and the roar of true patriotism will call out in righteousness once again. I know this because you swore that it wasn't just personal, it was the principle. You told everyone that you were fighting to bring honor back, that integrity mattered. Many believed this. Now you have the opportunity and duty to prove it.'

- - Lorin Nelson in the Salt Lake Tribune (and thanks to hozzers for the link).

Varmint gets ready to blow chow
after accidently switching on Faux Nooze.

OK, T or F: whenever you hear a horse neighing, you automatically say to yourself "Frau Blucher!"

DU has the latest Top 10 Conservative Idiots up already. This week: the Out Of Harm's Way Edition.

The Moron of Midland makes an impression in Paris -

[A] tired Preznit Poopypants stood at a news conference podium Sunday alongside the much more animated -- and talkative -- French President Jacques Chirac. He responded testily to a question about anti-American sentiment and was crabby around his staff. He also 'forgot' parts to questions asked by reporters.

"That's what happens when you're over 55," he said.

He turns 56 in July.

- - from

May 26, 2002

"Europeans, rightly or wrongly, have come to see Mr. Bush as a man committed to unending conflict in his 'war on terrorism.' His talk of 'axis of evil,' his division of the planet into 'civilised' and 'uncivilised' camps repels both by its simplism and by its implied promise of indefinite mayhem." - the UK Guardian, via email.

The arrival of the Ignorant Impotus and his handlers stoked the anger of thousands of protesters who see the Nooculer Nincompoop as the world’s biggest bully and warmonger.

The presence of the huge presidential entourage for the Boob of Kennebunkport's first visit to Paris offered France a chance to indulge in the extraordinary mixture of resentment and admiration that it has always held for the United States. It also prompted one of the biggest security operations France has ever mounted for one man, and contrasted starkly with Squinty McSquirtpants' warm reception in Pooty-Poot's Russia.

In the capital’s Place de la République and in the Norman city of Caen, there were demonstrations against the “evil empire” of “le cowboy Bush”. The protesters included intellectuals, anti-globalisation champions and officials from the Green and Communist parties that were part of the last Government of Lionel Jospin. “Law not war!” one squad of protesters chanted, in English.

Several protesters hoisted a large picture of a pretzel, with a sign that said Watch out, Bush! The knucklehead 'choked on a pretzel' earlier this year while watching football, lost consciousness for a few seconds and fell and hurt his head.

Police moved swiftly to halt one show of protest, clearing the Pont de Grenelle over the Seine after anti-death penalty demonstrators hung silhouettes from the bridge symbolising the 152 prisoners executed during pResident Evil's governorship of Texas.

The Connecticut Cowstalker, seen as naive and dangerous by the Left in France, embodies the Republican, God-fearing side of America that French intellectuals love to despise. - - (from the UK Times, as seen at the bushmoonie site)

Do not miss today's Doonesbury.

Damn thunderstorms keep forcing me to shut down.

The kittens left the igloo for a few minutes this afternoon, making a beeline for moms who was lounging right outside.

Has Snippy the Chimp said or done anything stupid in the last few hours?

Tom Daschle's Testicles Slowly Drop

Both Squinty the Pinhead and Vice President 'dick" Cheney urged Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle four months ago not to push for an investigation into the events of Sept. 11, Daschle said on Sunday. Appearing on the NBC program "Meet the Press," Daschle flatly contradicted Cheney, who last week denied he had warned Daschle off an investigation.

Daschle said Cheney telephoned him on Jan. 24 to urge that no Sept. 11 inquiry be made, and that Preznit Poopypants had followed up on January 28 with a similar request during a breakfast meeting at the White House. "I can tell you on January 24th, first, and on January 28th second, and on other dates following, that request was made," Daschle said.

Terra Lert: Brown! The FBI has issued a fresh warning this morning that terrorists may be interested in using small planes to carry out suicide attacks.
Remember: keep an eye out for people getting into cropdusters that don't belong to you!!

Rick Salutin: 'Bush: Dumb by choice': Bush security adviser Condoleezza Rice said the warnings weren't "precise" enough to, as people said all week, connect the dots. Well, isn't that why it's called intelligence? If Osama bin Laden sent a detailed plan, you wouldn't really need intelligence to deal with it, would you? In a similar vein, The New York Times learned from a "Bush associate" that the President said "no one knew" Mr. bin Laden would make "the leap" from traditional hijacks to suicide attacks on buildings.

Let me pause a moment at the notion of George W. Bush actually thinking. I have seen no evidence of it. I'm not saying he doesn't, but how would you know if he had the ability? Well, he might answer a question with an argument, rather than a homily or a bromide.

But has anyone seen him work through a thought or have an idea? Since Sept. 11, he has presented prepackaged phrases, and worked on his walk (decisive, quasi-military). Just asking. It may well make no difference, given the kind of engineered politics we have.

Mark Morford kicks ass!: This is the pattern. This is the message. Like some horrible clockwork they come, fresh terrorist attack warnings from the Bush administration or possibly a stern-faced government security agency, paced out every month or so just so you don't get too complacent, too wary, too, you know, suspicious.

Just so you don't possibly become a little too skeptical and maybe start looking around and noticing you seem to have misplaced a great many of your civil liberties and maybe your healthy cautious patriotism not to mention all those nail clippers at the airport and hey, aren't we still bombing the hell out of Afghanistan every day, nonstop, costing millions per diem? Is there anything even left over there?

And by the way, when's that huge government investment in alternative energy and fuels coming to get us away from our hate-inducing oil gluttony in the first place? Whoops, sorry. Bad question. Shhh.

No no no we don't need any special commission to look into just how poorly the pre-9/11 terrorist information was mishandled, grouses Bush and the GOP, shuffling their feet and looking all indignant while quietly checking their ExxonMobil and Lockheed Martin stock. And by the way, how's our new oil pipeline through Kandahar coming along? Whoops - did I say that out loud?

Robert Fisk: Bunnypants' rhetoric sounds like the crazed videotapes of Osama bin Laden. In the United States, the bush administration is busy terrorising Americans. There will be nuclear attacks, bombs in high-rise apartment blocks, on the Brooklyn bridge, men with exploding belts – note how carefully the ruthless Palestinian war against Israeli colonisation of the West Bank is being strapped to America's ever weirder "war on terror" – and yet more aircraft suiciders. If you read the words of "president" Bush, Vice-President Dick Cheney and the ridiculous national security adviser, Condoleezza Rice, over the past three days, you'll find they've issued more threats against Americans than Mr bin Laden.

John Dean blasts 'dick' Cheney: (snips...) Vice President Dick Cheney is at it again: More secrecy. Now he wants to bury the intelligence information given to President Bush on August 6, 2001 - over a month before the terrorist attacks. Indeed, Cheney wants Congress, far more generally, to keep its investigative nose out of issue of what intelligence the Bush Administration did, or did not, have about terrorism prior to September 11.

According to The Washington Post, White House political types have been putting the word out to their network of conservative radio talk show hosts throughout the country to rally the troops, set the dogs loose, and shout the Democrats down. Secrecy, however, is a tough sell, so they're going to have to attack some of their own as well.

Conservative columnist Phyllis Schlafly has been quite blunt about this secrecy business. In March, she blasted the White House for the Vice President's refusal to turn over the records of his energy task force. She finds Cheney's "pursuit of secrecy" comparable to "Clinton's refusal to disclose documents revealing who attended the meetings of Hillary's task force on health care."

Ms. Schlafly declared correctly that: "The American people do not and should not tolerate government by secrecy." And she told the Bush White House that no one's "going to buy the sanctimonious argument that the Bush Administration has some sort of duty to protect the power of the presidency."

To claim a need for secrecy to restore presidential power is disingenuous at best, and a deliberate falsehood at worst. Secrecy is the way of dictatorships, not democracies.

Puh - more in the Annals of Honor and Dignitude: Russian state television, god bless 'em, played and replayed footage of Preznit Clueless chewing gum upon entering the meeting with Pooty-poot in Moscow and then spitting it into his hand.

Great Moments in Churchilliana: At the Kremlin ceremony on Friday to sign the arms treaty the Yellow Pustule of Texas hailed the new spirit of trust this way: "That's good. It's good for the people of Russia; it's good for the people of the United States. . . . For decades, Russia and NATO were adversaries. Those days are gone, and that's good. And that's good for the Russian people, it's good for the people of my country, it's good for the people of Europe, and it's good for the people of the world."

May 25, 2002

What's the difference between Richard Nixon and Duh-bya Bush?
Nixon was elected.

Don't forget to check out the 'toons at!

"There's nothing like a good fresh scam"

In an incredible display of arrogance, George Bush said that HE (not the White House, but HE) will no longer tolerate second-guessing on the subject of the growing questions of what did the Bush Administration know and when did it know it regarding threatened terrorist attacks against the United States prior to 9-11. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld then came out with a press release from the Department of Defense, stating that "those who ask questions could face government charges."

The Bush Administration publicly stated that there is one congressional investigation ongoing into this matter, and they will not allow any further congressional investigations to be formed. Nor will they answer any further questions by the media on this subject.

Lieberman, Daschle and Gephardt wrote in a memorandum just released that Congress has effectively given the Bush Administration "near dictatorial powers." Lieberman then made a wisecrack saying that, "You know, given a Bush, near dictatorial power is a recipe for disaster." And I doubt there would be many who would disagree with that.

- - - Al Martin

Bush Spent Terror Week Smiling for the Camera
While You Were Freaking -

Emperor Snippy was merrily jaunting about, attending a black-tie gala, an Illinois fundraiser, a ceremony honoring Saint Ronnie, a photo-op presenting the Commander in Thief trophy to the Air Force Academy football team, socializing with this year's NCAA champions and the Minnesota men and women hockey skaters.

(snip) [T]he commander in chief was having himself a good old time. Bush opened the workweek of May 20 with a White House attack on Fidel Castro, a sturdy punching bag. This presumably was a swipe at that peanut farmer turned one-term president turned international appeaser and current Havana visitor, Jimmy Carter. Standing before Washington reporters, Bush sought to lift the Cuban menace to new heights, labeling the island nation a redoubt for bioterrorism—a charge which appears to have no credibility. Ramping up, he traveled to Miami that very day, where he gave Castro another kick for the benefit of the Cuban Americans in Miami, a gesture designed to get brother Jeb a key bloc of votes in his upcoming gubernatorial fight. Then he dashed off to Jeb's fundraiser, while his top advisers began suggesting that the Brooklyn Bridge and Statue of Liberty might be taken out sooner or later.

"The FBI director, yesterday, I talked to him. He comes in every morning, by the way," the Moron of Midland explained before taking off for Europe. "So this subject, he came up this morning. He was talking about, he was speculating based upon a lot of intelligence that indicates that the Al Qaeda is active, plotting, planning, you know, trying to hit us. So he was speculating. He basically said, Look, I wouldn't be surprised if there is another attack, and it's going to be difficult to stop them, is what he said." (Thanks for clearing that up for us. Bonehead.)

- - from James Ridgeway in the Village Voice.

Today in History: 1980 - television evangelist Oral Roberts claims to see a 900 foot tall Jesus Christ in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

It's been a long time coming. If anything "un-American" happened after September 11, it was the triumph of the notion--propounded by the Bushies, reinforced by the major media and far too readily accepted by cowardly Democrats--that "patriotism" somehow equals "support the Bush Administration."

The genuflection sometimes reached levels that we might call comic, except that there's nothing comic about a "free" press choosing to ape state-owned media, throwing rose petals at the feet of officials from the most unilateral and secretive Administration in modern American history ("sixty-nine years old, and you're America's stud," Meet the Press's Tim Russert once said to Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld).

One is not quite ready to say, on the evidence of several days' worth of stories, that this sorry era is over just yet. The New York Times and the Washington Post both ran editorials on May 17 that were something short of being full-throated calls for investigation; from the right-wing papers, the predictable yelping about how it's really Clinton's fault.

- - from "As the Press Turns" by by Michael Tomasky.

May 24, 2002

Today in History: 1610 - the first sodomy law in the New World is enacted, in Virginia. Thou shalt not bugger "upon pain of death".

June 14, 2002 | WASHINGTON -- Former Enron chairman Kenneth L. Lay had a personal Barcalounger installed in the Oval Office after George W. Bush's election and would recline there all day playing video games with Mr. Bush, according to documents released today by the White House in response to a Senate subpoena. - LOL - good stuff from Gary Kamiya at

More Moments in Churchilliana: "This is a nation that loves our freedom, loves our country." - the Oaf of Office, Washington, D.C, May 17, 2002

White House Campaign to Scare Crap Out of Everyone Hits Home

Washington, D.C. ( — While praising the Bush administration for its sudden willingness to share information on terror warnings, critics today suggested the White House had volunteered too much after Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld told a Senate panel the danger was so great that he had soiled himself.

"I have the greatest respect for Don Rumsfeld, and the greatest concern for the threat we all face, but the penultimate head of the armed forces cannot go around telling people he's no longer in control of his bowels," said Sen. Pete Domenici, R-NM.

But Bush administration officials disagreed.

"I'm glad one of us finally came out and said it," stated Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge. "It makes it easier for me to explain why I'm invisible. I'm scared, and I've convinced myself that I'm not really here."

Finally it's Friday.
This morning I went out to feed the stray cats and there were 3 kittens in the cat igloo on the back deck! One orange, one grey-striped with a white patch on it's face, and a dark one way in back that I couldn't get a good look at. What fun!

"Don’t be bummed out by these terrorist alerts. If you see something suspicious, you should immediately send a note to Washington and Bush should get to it in a few years." - Letterman

'Attack of the clowns: The real Bush is back'

With the recent scandals and miscues, the President is no longer Winston Churchill or Franklin Roosevelt, he is once again the bungler from Texas who finished second in the presidential race. This return to reality is good news - the nation should be paying attention to the president's agenda, not engaging in mindless hero worship.

(snip) The bottom line is that in President Bush's America, the only genuinely safe investment is a contribution to his re-election campaign. Stopping this assault on the nation's well-being will not be easy, but the first step is recognizing that the guy in the White House is running a scam for his rich friends.

- - (Dean Baker at Counterpunch).

"Bush is overseas in Germany kicking off a tour of Europe. He is also going to visit France, Italy and Oregon." - Conan

Pipeline to Hell....

Last week's outpouring of stories in the mainstream press about the Bush regime's criminal carelessness in safeguarding the citizens of the United States surely came as no surprise to anyone. The facts were always out there, in plain sight. You just had to sift through the sludge -- the spin-gobbling, self-serving prose of the corporate media -- to find the truth.

The Bush regime never had much interest in protecting America from terrorism; their priorities lay elsewhere -- enriching the elite, raping the land, gutting democracy and "projecting dominance" over all the earth.

That's why Bush ordered federal agents to back off their investigations of Osama bin Laden and his family (which had long-standing business connections with Bush's family). That's why Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld ordered the CIA to end its remote monitoring of bin Laden and rejected a request to shift $800 million from "missile defense" to counter-terrorism.

That's why Attorney General John Ashcroft told the FBI that he "didn't want to hear it" when they begged for more resources to fight terrorism. That's why Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill fought international efforts to crack down on off-shore money laundering schemes used by terrorists, mafias -- and wealthy backers of the Bush regime.

(snip) Other priorities, you see: enriching, raping, gutting, projecting. The regime did take the time to negotiate with the Taliban that summer, promising the rabid religious fascists a "carpet of gold" if they'd dump bin Laden and allow Bush's oil pals to build a pipeline through Afghanistan. And when that deal fell through, they did take the time to draw up a plan for attacking Afghanistan and punishing the Taliban for its intransigence. This was, in fact, the very war plan later launched in mid-October. Bush had it in hand on Sept. 10.

- - (Chris Floyd in The Moscow Times).

"That controversial memo that Bush might have read, well, it turns out he might not have read it. Dick Cheney accidentally shredded it with some Enron papers." - Letterman

Beyond Contempt

(snip) It seems that everyone can calm down. Horrific terrorist attacks are not, in fact, imminent. Everything is well in hand. The Bush administration is merely using the fear and horror that another September 11th-type attack may happen again as a means to deflect legitimate criticism from the Democratic Party. Nothing to see here. Go about your business. This is, after all, just politics.

It was bad enough that Bush had made his crass 'trifecta' joke eight different times. You know this one: Someone reported that Bush promised not to raid social Security or dive into deficit spending unless the nation was faced with war, recession or national emergency. After 9/11, Bush was heard to crack on eight separate occasions, "Lucky me, I hit the trifecta."

- - (another excellent column by William Rivers Pitt at

"The Democrats are attacking Bush. Do you think this is fair? Senator Joe Lieberman said that the White House should have been able to put two and two together. Well, that right there eliminates Bush." - Leno

Last Night on Crossfire:

Sen. Majority Leader Tom Daschle (video clip): Despite what some in the administration have suggested, silence in the face of security lapses is not patriotism. If anything, it is the opposite. And the consequences of such silence can be devastating.

Paul Begala: Tom Daschle served this country in uniform when Dick Cheney was ...

Pretty-boy:: Give me a break.

Paul Begala: Tom Daschle was serving in the Senate when Dick Cheney was making money selling equipment to Iran, Iraq and Libya. Dick Cheney needs to not lecture Tom Daschle about patriotism.

"Sobering warnings have been given out by Vice President Cheney. He's said it's not a matter of if, but when, 'president' Bush will next choke on a snack food." - Letterman

May 23, 2002

From the Times (UK): As the Squinting Squatter carried his anti-terrorism message to Europe, his administration was accused of diluting the impact of terrorism warnings by issuing too many of them, sometimes on the basis of rumours, often in response to political criticism.

Asked about his aides’ apparent alarmism, Mr Bush told an Italian interviewer that none of the warnings was based on specific intelligence. (Boy, some jokes just write themselves...)

Trent "Hamster Hairpiece" Lott Loses Toupee in Hysterical Head Explosion when Senate MAJORITY Leader Daschle Trades in Pink Tutu for Burgundy

Under fire from republicans for questioning the administration's handling of pre-Sept. 11 intelligence data, Senate Majority Leader Thomas Daschle (D-S.D.) yesterday accused the White House of hoarding information and vowed to pursue an independent inquiry to investigate the matter.

"There is an increasing pattern that I find in this administration that reflects an unwillingness to share information not only with us but within their own administration," Daschle said during the question-and-answer period after delivering a speech to mark the first anniversary of Democrats seizing the Senate majority

"Despite what some in the administration have suggested, silence in the face of security lapses is not patriotism," Daschle said. "If anything it is the opposite. And the consequences of such silence can be devastating."

Still, Trent the Whining Hypocrite said Daschle needs to be careful not to be too critical of the Smirking Cokrmonkey "during wartime" and suggested such a tactic could "backfire on him."

He bleated, "When you go out there and start attacking the president, any President, people don't like it." - - -reported by Roll Call, with a straight face.

Actual Letters to the Editor in Newsday:

"It is remarkable - and appalling - that Dick Cheney and Condoleezza Rice dominated Sunday morning's major talk shows. As you reported, they were on all five of them ["Terror Warning," May 20]. Not only is it clear that the administration usurped the network news to give its spin, but the appearances of these two suggest that there's more than a little truth to the points raised about what President George W. Bush knew or should have known. And I wonder, where does big oil come in?"

"Four years ago, Republican leaders in Congress dragged our nation through months of stupid and inane impeachment hearings. Silly charges were made against a Democratic president that had nothing to do with national security. Today, serious matters concerning the state of our nation's intelligence-gathering capabilities prior to the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11 need to be analyzed . The Bush administration has the unmitigated gall to accuse Democratic leaders in Congress of politicizing this issue. The hypocrisy is sickening. We deserve better. Those who lost loved ones and those who fear a reprisal of terrorist events demand to know what could have been done and what measures are being implemented now. It is imperative that a bipartisan commission be convened immediately. And most sane Americans would believe that the prevailing threat of terrorism is slightly more important than a president's sex life."

"After Sept. 11, it was OK to suggest that Clinton could have prevented them. Now, to suggest the same about Bush is just a political ploy from supporters of Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle and other Democrats. Thankfully, there hasn't been anyone cynical enough to suggest that these warnings were ignored purposely. An attack like that couldn't help anyone's popularity anyway, could it?"

"Given the unsavory election results and Bush's negative approval rating at the start of his tenure, and given the fact that New York is a Democratic stronghold not supportive of his administration, one shouldn't be surprised that the White House was aware of the Sept. 11 threat but withheld the information. The Washington spinmasters knew that we would turn to our leaders for direction and give them our bipartisan support after Sept. 11, despite our individual leanings. Shame on them." - - - (thanks to a.s. at the bc forum).

'pResident Evil Issues Bogus Alerts to Cover His Ass'

CBS Evening News" anchorman Dan Rather accused El Dorque and his nursemaids of issuing an unwarranted FBI terrorist alert to NYC primarily to distract from questions about its handling of pre-9-11 intelligence information.

Appearing on "Imus in the Morning," Rather said he believed his network's report a week ago that the White House received a pre-9-11 CIA briefing on possible al Qaeda hijackings prompted the administration to issue the alert for political damage control.

"I can believe that the 'president' and the people around him were surprised and peeved, to say the least," Rather contended, "that the information got out last week...that would indicate that, well, maybe somebody should have done something." The CBS newsman continued: "And I can also believe that, as with every president, somebody's in the White House scratching their heads saying, 'How can we change the subject.' Now, the subject has been changed, suddenly and very effectively, from, 'How is it that the FBI and the CIA didn't move on the information they had? Where was the 'president' briefed about what, when?'

"The subject's been changed," Rather explained, "from that - to suddenly one administration official after another, and each escalating it, (issuing) a new set of warnings."

The CBS anchor said he doubted the confluence of events was coincidental. - - (from the alternate-reality nooze site, via the bushmoonie page.)

Drop your c*cks and grab your socks..."Bush's plumbers have fooled no-one"

The Arbusto Administration denies that recent statements have anything to do with deflecting scrutiny away from what it knew about the terrorist risk before 9/11. But criticism is growing over why it chose to keep secret the CIA briefing to Bunnypants on August 6 that al-Qaeda could hijack a commercial US aircraft. The White House's explanations have been weighed up by the American people and found wanting - a CBS poll found that 65 per cent believe Chimpy McOilpan and his nannies are hiding something about what it knew. (so they had a choice: either have something blown up, or plant Ms Levy's remains where someone would spot 'em.....)

The Top 8 Signs You're Dating a Conservative

8. Her fanatical support of a policy of individual responsibility means you're spending a lot more time in the bathroom with the door locked.

7. He claims that he can't discuss wedding plans with you, because his keyboard is still missing a 'W' key.

6. There's a substantial penalty for early withdrawal.

5. His idea of "trickle-down economics" consists of you sleeping on the wet spot.

4. In bed, too busy trying to "win one for the Gipper."

3. Must convince her that oral sex can lead to procreation.

2. Every time you mention Ronald Reagan, he gets teary-eyed remembering the "Tear Down the Wall" speech...

and the Number 1 Sign You're Dating a Conservative...

1. She says her huge stockpile of firearms ensures a peaceful co-existance in your relationship.

- - from

Life During Wartime

Cry me a f*cking river. Napoleon Bonehead saw the Reichstag parliament building and some of Berlin's other sights today, but said on his next visit he would rather bring a fishing pole with him instead of tight security. "I live in a bubble," the Bubble-headed Boilface said at a news conference at the German Chancellor's office, when asked if he felt as if he were in a "ghost town" because of the unprecedented security.

"I like to meet people. I saw one small glimpse of Berlin last night. It frustrates me not to be able to see more of this growing city. That's just life in the bubble."

Since when, Emperor Peabrain? Since when do you care what they think, or whether or not they've been cordoned off into 'First Amendment Zones'? Since when do you like to meet anybody that hasn't been picked over and scrutinized by your nursemaids?? Duh????

Hey Sheriff - you SUCK !!

Around 1,000 anti-war and anti-globalization demonstrators continued protesting after the Connecticut Cowpie departed for Moscow, but the mood was decidedly more relaxed.

Playing off the Moron of Midland's 'Texas roots', organizers called the action "Cattle Herders not Warmongers" with demonstrators dressed as cowboys and American Indians following a flat-bed truck laden with hay and speakers blaring country and western music.

"We picked the western theme so when Americans see the photos they'll feel a bit ridiculed and maybe will think a bit more about what their 'Texan president' is doing," said one man wearing a black cowboy hat with a silver sheriff star. - - Believe me, pal, we know, we know....

The Toxic Tinhorn administration to reopen mining area considered for national monument

MEDFORD, Ore. (AP) -- The Bush administration will open most of the 1.2 million acres of federal land in southwestern Oregon to mining claims, drawing the ire of environmentalists who say the action threatens salmon and steelhead protected by the Endangered Species Act.

The area covers about 90 percent of the 1.2 million acres of Siskiyou National Forest and 152,000 acres of Bureau of Land Management land. In the waning days of the Clinton administration, then-Interior Secretary Bruce Babbitt had imposed a two-year moratorium on new mining claims on the land; the Bush administration canceled that ban Tuesday.


Ashcroft Knew - and Covered Up

(snip) In retrospect, the single official responsible for the most dramatic failures of Sept. 11 turns out to be none other than Attorney General Ashcroft himself. Ashcroft has kept an uncharacteristically a low profile in recent days, and no wonder. No bureaucracies have ever looked more fatally entangled in red tape than the FBI and INS, both of whose bucks stop at the attorney general's desk. And if news accounts are accurate, shortly after Sept. 11 Ashcroft learned of Phoenix FBI agent Williams' prescient investigation but kept that crucial, embarrassing information from both president and public. Instead, he rushed forward the massively repressive USA-Patriot Act and immigrant sweeps, knowing that such measures were a fig leaf to cover naked incompetence.

Choking on Teflon

(snip) The Bush Administration and its allies have shamelessly exploited Sept.11 to get what they want, from mountains of new pork at the Pentagon to Fast Track authority for negotiating new foreign commercial agreements. The latter passed the House by one vote last December, after a threat from House speaker Dennis Hastert: "This Congress will either support our president -- who's fighting a courageous war on terrorism and redefining American world leadership -- or it will undercut the president at the worst possible time."

They have been quick to question the patriotism of their opponents, and it has worked. The Democratic leadership was cowed into silence, which gave President Bush very high approval ratings -- they remain at 76 percent. Many observers attribute these results to the "War Against Terrorism," but this is exaggerated. A public that hears only praise and no criticism will predictably answer "yes" to pollsters who ask whether the President is doing a good job.

This unfortunate dynamic has encouraged a President who couldn't get a majority of the popular vote to govern as though he had won an overwhelming mandate from the electorate. Vice President Dick Cheney has lashed out hard at his critics, calling their actions "thoroughly irresponsible and totally unworthy of national leaders in a time of war."

But it's not working any more. The Democrats softened their rhetoric, but Senate majority leader Tom Daschle is still demanding that an independent commission be set up to investigate what our government knew and did before Sept. 11.

Mark Weisbrot seems to be one of those "glass-half-full" people. I just don't have his faith in the pink-tutued, lily-livered, lapdog Dems. It only takes one harsh word and they run away, peeing in fear.

"The public is not fooled by Bush's terror alert ruse"

(snip) New York did respond, loudly, to this week's terror alert, in a way that Mr Rumsfeld and Mr Cheney can hardly have intended. Not with mere stoicism, but with a vocal and near-unanimous condemnation of Washington for issuing pointlessly vague warnings in a transparent attempt to deflect attention from the Bush administration's own failings in the months before September 11.

Commentators across the political spectrum agreed. Outside New York, the Washington Times - a conservative daily owned by the Moonies - declared outright that the warnings were intended "to mute criticism" over the handling of the "Phoenix memo", which warned of the dangers of potential terrorists training at US flight schools. Not a difficult conclusion to reach when presidential spokesman Ari Fleischer, in a candid aside, had just explained that the alerts were issued "as a result of all the controversy that took place last week."

Due to budget cuts, the Four Horsemen -- previously War, Famine, Pestilence and Death -- are now Sniffles, Hunger Pangs, Flatulence, and Ennui. - the 4th Dumbest Sign of the Apocalypse, from

"I don't want to be in a position where we look back and they say, 'Why didn't they lead? Where were they when it came to our basic freedom?'" - - the Oaf of Office, 5/23/02, oblivious as always.

Jovians Ready Cloaking Device Just in Case... reports that resistance is 'flaring up' against the Drooling Despot's visit to Yurp. 'Tens of thousands of people are protesting against the US government's appalling human rights record, their 'war on terror' and their disregard for international agreements. Moreover they are protesting against Snippy the Chimp as one of the most prominent representatives of neoliberal capitalism, which is tied to big business and is spread around the globe by violent means. In the German capital Berlin, protests started with a 70,000-strong peaceful demonstration on May 21st. More demonstrations and a large variety of autonomous actions were planned for Wednesday and Thursday. In response to dissent on the streets, Berlin is currently seeing the biggest deployment of police since World War II.' - - (thanks to

{T]ens of thousands of Germans voiced their concerns. "It is a wonderful country with a terrible government," said Torsten Wetzel, a 27-year-old student. "Bush is a criminal and we must show what we think of him." The 'president's' economic, environmental and foreign policies met with equal derision. "Bush; he should take all his policies and go home," said Daniel Büttner, 30. Some protesters chose sarcasm to make their points, others wit. "If you can read this you're not the president," said one banner. Others heaved giant pretzels along the streets to mock the 'president' who choked on one some months ago.

As shown by the receptions given to John F Kennedy in 1963 and Bill Clinton on three occasions, Berliners are not averse to making heroes out of American presidents. - - from The Daily Telegraph

Speaking of heroes, Ireland announces the new William Jefferson Clinton Centre for American Studies :

'It is intended that the Centre will bring together scholars and students of all aspects of American life, literature, history and culture and will further strengthen the bonds between Ireland and the United States. The Centre will be established following the consideration of proposals which will be invited from Universities during the coming months. The evaluation panel will be chaired by former Secretary of Education Dick Riley, who served as a member of President Clinton’s cabinet during the full two terms. He will be joined by two persons to be named by the Taoiseach during the coming week.'

Rumors that Krapistania has opened the Crusader Bunnypants Barbie Doll Museum and Crack Parlor have not yet been confirmed.

May 22, 2002

Beat on the brat with a baseball bat, oh yeah....

It’s Bush-bashing time on the Riviera. A number of films being shown at the Cannes Film Festival this year were inspired by the Sept. 11 attacks and other violence in America — and George W. has emerged as a favorite target of some festival-goers.

Michael Moore's documentary is widely considered to be the front runner for the prestigious Palme d’Or award, and Moore’s anti-Bush comments have been lapped up by the foreign press.

“To use the dead of that day as the cover to push their right-wing agenda, to shred our Constitution, to take away civil liberties ... to try and distract people from Enron, ‘because we need to focus on the war on terrorism,’ ” Moore said. “I think it’s immoral, I think it’s abhorrent. . . . You’re being hoodwinked — and it’s despicable.”

But at least one filmmaker was quick to point out that most anti-American sentiment is directed against its government — not its people.