December 24, 2002

Cool pic of the Smirking Goober, here!

Away with the Strangers (to the tune of "Away in a Manger")
Away with the Strangers
John Ashcroft proclaimed
No Muslims, no Haitians
We'll have them detained
We'll jail them, we'll gas them, they'll all disappear
And as for the liberals, we'll nail them next year.

Enjoy the whole songbook at FalloutShelterNews (thanks to!).

Listening to Mr Hanky's Christmas Classics, finishing up my wrapping, having coffee, and wondering how much snow is going to be dumped on us tomorrow when there's a 3-hour car trip - on a good day - to look forward to. I could be trapped with republicans - hell, with Eagles fans....

----it's Christmas time in Hell!

December 23, 2002

Thought for the day
Q: Why do republicans whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
- - thanks to mike d.

Flagrant Omissions
WH chickenhawks tear out 8,000 pages of Iraq dossier.
The Bushies edited out more than 8000 crucial pages of Iraq's 11,800-page dossier on weapons, before passing on a sanitised version to the 10 non-permanent members of the United Nations security council.

A UN source in New York said: 'The questions being asked are valid. What did the US take out? And if weapons inspectors are supposed to be checking against the dossier's content, how can any future claim be verified. In effect the US is saying trust us, and there are many who just will not.'

Current and former UN diplomats are said to be livid at what some have called the 'theft' of the Iraqi document by the US. Hans von Sponeck, the former assistant general secretary of the UN and the UN's humanitarian co- ordinator in Iraq until 2000, said: 'This is an outrageous attempt by the US to mislead.'
- link.

Hell. First Joey Ramone and now this. The Clash's Joe Strummer has died at age 50. - - link.

Crap on a dipstick. Yesterday we drove over an hour to get to the mall so I could exchange that dud electronic hoozit for one that actually worked, only to be told 'oh sorry - we don't carry those here!' But, for an additional 40 minute drive, I could return their defective piece of doodoo at the only mall in this benighted state that Sharper Image imagines is up to their standards enough to feature their whole catalogue. Bite me.

I'm at work, and have tons of stuff to do when I get home, so I don't know how much posting I'll get done today. So just in case I don't make it back, all of us here at WTF wish you all a very Merry Christmas, and a happy and safe holiday! Thanks so much for your support - we're going to take a short break and will be back January 2nd. Oh yeah - we'd also like to thank Time magazine for not making Drinky McHappycrack 'person of the year.' Yowsa.

December 21, 2002

Some quickies, before I go off to eat cookie dough
Three different versions of the Michael Jackson Baby-Drop Game!

The Guide to Ruining Christmas for Everyone, here.

"He's bluffing. Bush could never bring himself to deliberately nuke that many oil fields." - The Onion asks What Do You Think? about Iraq and the nuclear option.

It's snowing!!

Why am I here?? I should be shopping!!

No!! Not the Feats of Strength!!
It's Festivus - 'for the rest of us.'

The Christmas Star
As they do every year at this time, those wacky scientists try to explain the origin of the Star of Bethlehem. And as they do every year, they crap out. Still, I love this stuff, so here it is.

The Longest Night of the Year
Happy Yule, Saturnalia, Lenaea, Mithrais! Tonight is the winter solstice.

December 20, 2002

That pic of the front page of The Mirror reminded me of a recent quote from Patrick Stewart, from the 12/7 print version of TV Guide: "It just so happens that the movie [Star Trek: Nemesis] appears to be extremely sensitive to circumstances in the world today, particularly in the United States and particularly with the whole threat of war that's hanging over our head - with the idea of an irrational, insane individual who doesn't care what costs there will be so long as he achieves his own personal end.

"I'm talking about Saddam Hussein - just to make that clear."


Gah! LOL

Can mine be tall, dark and handsome?
"The goals for this country are peace in the world. And the goals for this country are a compassionate American for every single citizen. That compassion is found in the hearts and souls of the American citizens." - the blithering Oaf of Office, Washington, DC, 12/19/02.

SNL's 'Hardball' sketch:
Chris Matthews (Darrell Hammond): Welcome back to "Hardball", I'm Chris Matthews! This week, Iraq handed over a 12,000-page document, detailing every missile, gun, and pointed stick they got! They think they can still avoid a war! Guys! Save yourselves the paperwork! We're gonna invade ya'! You got a better chance of keeping Liza Minelli out of the medicine cabinet! Meanwhile, at home, as Campaign 2004 prepares to blast off, President Bush fires Pitt, fires O'Neill, fires Lindsey, Kissinger just stepped down. The Bush team has fewer original members than Destiny's Child! Does all this upheaval weakened Bush's chances of re-election. Or, as the Democratic Party said - knock-kneed and gutless - they couldn't win a Presidential campaign against Carrot Top! With us tonight: lead strategist for the Democratic National Committee, Amy Sanborn!

Amy Sanborn (Amy Poehler): Nice to be here, Chris.

Chris Matthews: I've known you for three seconds, I'm already bored! Also joining us: he caused a scandal this week when he said America would have been better off if we'd elected Strom Thurmond President in 1948, Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott!

Trent Lott (Al Gore): Nice to be here, Chris.

Chris Matthews: Senator Lott! High ranking members of both parties are calling for you to step down after your comments about Sen. Thurmond, who was a segregationist! Does your bonehead behavior spell trouble for Republicans?

Trent Lott: Chris. When I said our country wouldn't have all these problems if Strom Thurmond had been elected President, it had nothing to do with segregation. I simply meant that things would have been better if Thurmond were President, because he would have kept white people and black peole separate. I just hate it when Liberals take me out of context like that.

Chris Matthews: Why do I get the feeling you thought "Birth Of A Nation" was the feel-good hit of the summer! Is this the kind of thing Democrats will point to at election time?

Amy Sanborn: [chuckles] Chris, we have bigger fish to fry. Democrats need to show how our agenda is different than the Republicans. For example, Republicans want to go to war with Iraq; we only support such a war. Republicans want privatized Social Security; we believe Social Security should be privatized. Yuo see? There are key differences.

Chris Matthews: Yeah, here's one key difference - there are no Democrats in office any more!

Trent Lott: Chris? Chris. It has come to my attention that some of my comments about Strom Thurmond a minute ago, may have been construed as racially insensitive. Let me apologize. I meant on disrespect to no white people. I, myself, am a white man, and some, if not all of my best friends are white. And let me make this clear: as long as we are in office, we will leave no white person behind.

Chris Matthews: Senator, you’re shedding a lot of light on the situation. Unfortunately, the light’s coming from a cross you just set on fire! Amy Sanborn! Amy, should the Senator Grand Wizard here be punished?

Amy Sanborn: Chris, the Democratic Party condemns Senator Lott's comments. We believe they are deplorable and worthy of censure. Unless, somehow it turns out everyone is cool with what he said, in which case, so are we!

Chris Matthews: I wanna try something! Hey, Sanborn! Republicans want to outlaw kitty cats!

Amy Sanborn: [chuckling] Who doesn't!

Chris Matthews: Republicans want "Baby Got Back" to be the National Anthem!

Amy Sanborn: Democrats have always loved that song!

Chris Matthews: Republicans want to put Osama bin Laden on the Supreme Court!

Amy Sanborn: It's about time.

Chris Matthews: Whoa.. wowie-wow-wow-wow! God! Joining us tonight to comment on this mess, is one of "Hardball"'s most dependable lunatics: Rev. Al Sharpton!

Rev. Al Sharpton (Tracy Morgan): Hello, Chris.

Chris Matthews: Rev. Sharpton! You heard what Reichsmarshall Lott has said about Strom Thurmond! You gotta be chompin' at the bit to lace into this goose-stepper!

Al Sharpton: Well, actually, Chris, I'm not. Senator Lott made a mistake. He has apologized for it, and I’m prepared to accept his apology and move on.

Chris Matthews: Really?

Al Sharpton: Hell no!! This is an outrage! There are no words to express my anger! I'm so mad, I made some words up! That's how mad I am! [ begins to chant random made-up words, to the delight of Chris Matthews ]

Chris Matthews: Nicely done, Reverend! I didn't see that coming! Anyone want to respond to the crazy noises coming out of Sharpton's mouth!

Trent Lott: If I may, Chris? Too much emphasis has been placed on Sen. Thurmond's pro-segregation campaign. There was a lot more to his 1948 platform. He wanted to make it illegal for black people and white people to marry each other. He had great ideas for raising tax revenue, like making black people pay to vote. The man is a genius!

Chris Matthews: As soon as I finish counting all the ways that's stupid, I'll start yelling at ya'! Reverend, you wanna hit us with any more crazy words?

Al Sharpton: Sorry, Chris! I'm out of words. I'm so angry, all I can do is make faces, like this. [ rubs his face and pouts his lips out ]

Chris Matthews: Thank you, Rev. Gumby! We're gonna take a break! When we come back, Trent lott explains why America would be better off if the Germans had won World War II!

- - - more here.

............drudge and cnn are reporting that Trent Lott has stepped down as leader.......

......but will remain in the Senate. Links:
Yahoo News

Trent Lott Dead Pool Grows
Karl Rove, like a fat white grub on PCP, stealthily makes the rounds.
Missouri Sen. Christopher Bond says he will back Frist (link).

"I can see his head!"
Like an inflamed anal cyst on the fat hairy pimply ass of Rush Limbaugh, Bill Frist pops up as possible successor to the throne of Trent Lott.
"I'm pleased to join the Bill Frist team, and I can assure you the team is growing in numbers very quickly" - John Warner.

Senators planning to endorse Frist:
Don Nickles (Oklahoma)
John Warner (Virginia)
George Allen (Virginia)
James Inhofe (Oklahoma)
Lincoln Chafee (Rhode Island)
Lamar Alexander (Senator-elect, Tennessee)

At least seven senators are on record that they will back Lott. They include:
Mitch McConnell (Kentucky)
Rick Santorum (Pennsylvania)
Arlen Specter (Pa.)
Orrin G. Hatch (Utah)
Mike DeWine (Ohio)
Ted Stevens (Alaska)
John Ensign (Nev.)

Frist is the 'personal favorite' of the WH, and has 'forged a close relationship' with Bunnypants' svengali Karl Rove. He's also a hard-line rightwinger, voting against labor rights, civil rights, women's rights and the environment at almost every opportunity (see for his voting record).
- - links here and here. Bob Novak returns to his coffin to regroup. Developing.....

Is it just me, or does "frist" sound like some bizarre, unhygenic, possibly illegal sexual act? Howard knew his fristing had gotten out of control when his underpants just wouldn't seem to fit right...

Judy Woodruff, repub shill: Bob, first of all, before I ask you about who replaces Trent Lott, are you convinced now he's gone?

Bob Novak, cranky rethug ghoul: I'm not convinced, but it's looking worse for him every day. It's hard to find Republicans who will predict he'll be able to stay.

Judy: All right, what is this about the threat of John McCain to become an independent if Mitch McConnell were to become the next speaker?

Boob: That's been a rumor all around Washington the last couple of days. So, I called Senator McCain just before he left on an overseas vacation this afternoon. He says it is not true. He says that Mitch McConnell as majority leader would make life very difficult for John McCain, but that it was not something that would drive him out of the party. He said it just wouldn't happen. He would stay a Republican, although he wouldn't be happy.

Judy: Now, Bob, our Jon Karl just reported from the Hill that Bill Frist, the senator from Tennessee, today is making calls to other senators, exploring whether he'd be a candidate for leader. What are you hearing about Frist?

Novakula: Senator Frist's stock has really gone down in the last few days. Fellow senators tell me that he had given a commitment to Senator Don Nickels to support him if Lott fell. And then he withdrew it, said he didn't want to run. Now he wants to run. But what they really worry about with Bill Frist is that he would be the boy of the White House, that he would follow the White House orders. And that is not what they want in a majority leader.

Judy: Now, what are you hearing about a so-called soft landing being worked out for Lott?

Novsferatu: This would be to ease the humiliation of having to step down as leader. And there was talk yesterday about trying to get him in as Senate Finance Committee chairman. That is really ridiculous, because it means that Chuck Grassley of Iowa would have to step aside. He has no intention of doing that. They talk about other committee chairmanships for Lott, but everybody is not going to sacrifice for that. So, nothing has been arranged at all. - - link.

I'm running out of time!! Looks like I'll be spending a good part of the weekend at the mall, not only to finish shopping, but to exchange some dud electronic stuff I ordered online so I wouldn't have to go out! Bah.

A study in Wisconsin showed that the kind of male face a woman finds attractive can differ - depending on where a woman is in her menstrual cycle.

For instance, if she is ovulating she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.

And if she is menstruating she is more prone to be attracted to a man with scissors shoved in his temple and a bat jammed up his ass, while he is on fire.

SEC Launches Probe Into Halliburton
The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC)'s "inquiry" into the disclosure and accounting practices of Dick 'Chicanery' Cheney's Halliburton has now turned into a formal investigation.

The agency opened a preliminary investigation in late May and issued a request on June 11 for documents related to cost overruns on construction projects at Halliburton, which was led by Cheney until 2000. The company received a second request on July 11 seeking more explanations and supporting documents.

By launching a formal investigation, the SEC has power to subpoena documents related to Halliburton's bookkeeping, including information from third parties (link).

Blix says 'Prove It!'
Well, sort of.
The chief U.N. weapons inspector accused the U.S. and Britain Friday of not sharing intelligence on Iraq's alleged doomsday weapons, hours after Washington said Baghdad was in "material breach" of a Security Council resolution. Addressing the U.N. Thursday, Hans Blix said "If the UK and the U.S. are convinced and they say they have evidence, well then one would expect that they would be able to tell us where is this stuff" (link).

December 19, 2002

'Lott's desperate, craven, simplistic pandering has not been confined to affirmative action - I just heard him on the radio babbling about "community renewal," by which he presumably means buying off African-American mayors, community leaders and activists with Urban-Development-Action-Grant-style pork. Can reparations be far behind?' - Mickey Kaus, in Slate.

'Daily Howler proprietor Bob Somerby incomparably predicts that the Republican leader will shortly announce that he "believes Tawana Brawley."' - Joe Conason.

10 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/significant other is taking his/her sweet time
1. Pick up condom packages and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.

4. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

5. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

6. Go into a fitting room and yell really loudly "We're out of toilet paper in here!"

7. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say 'PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!!'

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

(- - via email from gretchen)

Remove your foot, then pull your head out
BET's Ed Gordon: "You voted against the King holiday, you voted against funding the King commission after the holiday was put forth, you voted against the Civil Rights Act of 1990, you voted against the Voting Rights Act - the extension of it in 1992."

Trent "Fightin' Whitey" Lott: "I want to talk about the King holiday. I want to go back to that. I'm not sure we in America, certainly not white America and the people in the South, fully understood who this man was; the impact he was having on the fabric of this country." - link.


Sleigh bells ring, are you listenin'?...

'Trent Lott is still apologizing for statements he made at what he didn't realize would turn out to be his own retirement party. And he's really apologizing. He's not just whistling Dixie.' - Leno

Blah blah blah
Orrin Hatch (R-Hypocrite) talks to Aaron Brown about forgiveness and fairness: "I think that we've had a steady drum beat in the media that's been almost offensive at this point. It certainly hasn't been fair to this man. And I agree, he deserved to be criticized. He shouldn't have said that. He shouldn't have said it that way.

"But, on the other hand, he didn't mean it the way I think many on the left have tried to imply that he did. I think what I'm saying is this, whether from the left or right, and it's been from both sides, whether from the left or right in the media, and it's been from both sides, I think it's time to lay off. It's time to be fair. It's time to forgive.

"This is a forgiving nation. And I think it's time to recognize that here's a man who's not only served with distinction but has served as leader in both the House and Senate. Now as a leader, he shouldn't have done that. He made a mistake. But he's now apologized at least five or six times." -- CNN Newsnight.

Sorry, but after what these guys put Bill Clinton through, they can go f*ck themselves.

- - - Merry Christmas! {snort!}

December 18, 2002

With friends like these, who needs Democrats?
Trent Lott complains about White House leaks in connection with controversy over racial remarks -

From Senate racist leader Trent 'Waaaaa!' Lott, fighting to surmount a furor over his racially insensitive remarks, complained Wednesday about anonymous White House leaks calling for his demise.

''There seems to be some things that are seeping out that have not been helpful,'' Lott said after a speech to the Chamber of Commerce in Biloxi, Miss. ''I understand how that happens because you've got a lot of people who work there that have different points of view. But I believe they do support what I am trying to do here and the president will continue to do so.''

Meanwhile, the Coward of Crawford remained hidden in his secret fort under the Oval Office Desk. Though various spokes-tools, more often than not Ari 'the Liar' Fleischer, have reiterated that Lott should keep his job, Squinty the Chickenhearted has repeatedly dodged questions about Lott since he pimpslapped the senator last Thursday.

Too many Christmas parties, not enough coffee.

Change the subject, dammit!
The AWOL Warmonger is concerned by "omissions and problems in Iraq's arms declaration", the White House said today. Napoleon Bonehead and his nannies met to discuss a likely announcement declaring Iraq in violation of a U.N. disarmament resolution. Any declaration would not be an immediate trigger for war, U.S. officials said, snickering.

Smirky McOilfield could declare Iraq in violation of the U.N. resolution as early as Thursday after chief U.N. arms inspector Hans Blix makes a presentation on the Iraqi declaration to the full 15-member Security Council. Whether Bunnypants would use the words "material breach" in saying that Iraq was in violation was a subject of debate among Chimpy the Pinhead's advisers. One said it was a "distinction without a difference," though the words "hull breach" would be more fitting, since Trent Lott can't pull his numb racist patootie out of the spotlight and the economic news is growing steadily worse. - link.

December 17, 2002

You have got to be kidding...

Chris Matthews: What do you believe [Lott] thinks those problems are that we've avoided or that we've incurred because we didn't vote racist back in '48?
Frank Luntz, Republican pollster/asswipe: It has to do with problems that we've had over the last eight or nine years. I don't want to speak...
Matthews: He said we wouldn't have these problems if we had voted for Strom Thurmond in '48 for president, a segregationist who ran against Harry Truman. What is he talking about there?
Luntz: I think that some of the issues that he's talking about, quite frankly, and I don't know if he would agree or disagree, but I think some of it has to do with Bill Clinton and the things that happened in the 1990s, the moral decay of the country. The acceptance of certain types of behavior. If ...
Unidentified male: Come on.

- - from Joe Conason's Salon column.

Karl Rove has poison dumped into Suspicious Substance Discovered At N.J. Reservoir
Hazmat Team Called To Scene

SOUTH ORANGE, N.J. -- South Orange police discovered a suspicious substance during a routine check of an Orange Reservoir pump house access point Tuesday. The substance was on top of a manhole. The reservoir was not shut down. Testing of the substance was done by the Nutley hazmat team.

Authorities told NewsChannel 4 that there were no signs of forced entry into the pump house area, however they were trying to determine if the manhole cover was moved. The pump house pumps millions of gallons of water to the town of South Orange. - link.

Wow! Stranger at Blah3 has done it again, with 'The Year With George W. Bush,' from the Take Back the Media series. Go see this!

Trent Lott Pleads His Case on B.E.T.

- - from the Daily Probe.

Today in History
1793: Children are executed by the new guillotine invention for the first time, at Nantes France.

1944: The Malmedy massacre, where 81 Americans of Battery B, 285th Field Artillery are killed by Waffen SS in Belgium during the Battle of the Bulge.

1961: Adilson Marcelino Aviles sets a circus tent on fire at the Gran Circo Norte Americano, Brazil, killing 323 people, mostly children. 500 other youngsters were badly burned in this worst circus fire in history. Aviles stated that he wanted revenge on circus owners.

1969: The US Air Force terminates Project Blue Book, which investigated reports of UFO's.

1977: A mystery blob of molten metal fell at Big Lake Park, Council bluffs, Nebraska. 'Officials' branded it a hoax, despite several reports of a 'bright trail' in the sky that night. A USAF test indicated 'it was neither meteor nor part of a space satellite'. Further blobs fell on Council Bluffs on 5 July and 10 July the following year. In the last case, firemen were called to douse a small blaze and discovered a mass of splattered metal about three feet in diameter lying in a small impact crater.

1989: Over two thousand protesters are massacred by the government in Timisoara, Romania. It is the spark that brings down the regime of Nicolae Ceausescu, who was executed on Christmas Day.

1989: Bartholomew J. Simpson's listed birthday.

1997: A "Pokemon" episode shown on Japanese television induces seizures in at least 750 children.

1997: President Clinton's panel on race relations met at Annandale High School in Virginia.

---Hi, repugs!

Top 10 Ways Trent Lott is Preparing for the Holidays
10. Making a list of remarks and checking it twice
9. Fill out membership form to the Augusta National Golf Club
8. Trying to keep track of all the people calling to say they can't make it to the Christmas party
7. Pray for peace and happeniness for everyone....well, almost everyone
6. Reminding friends to "keep quiet about the old days"
5. Dipping his foot in delicious eggnog before putting it in his mouth
4. Inviting media to "traditional Lott family Kwanzaa parade"
3. Call jet propulsion laboratories in Pasadena ---- ask how much damn force his hair is generating
2. Joining Eminem to record album of hateful Christmas duets
1. Work on next year's apologies
- - Thanks to Antidolt at the BC Forum!

"a walking pinata"
The Yellow Puddle of Texas has decided not to intervene to save Trent Lott after concluding he has become an albatross to the party and no longer has any chance of surviving as Republican majority leader, administration sources said.

"The president is allowing the process to work itself out in a way that will seem natural and doesn't have a lot of fingerprints on it," a senior Republican official said. "In other words, he's a little chickenshit coward who's trying to have it both ways. God, he makes me sick." - From here. Mostly.

If I only had a brain...
Sources say Trent Lott sought statements of support last week from national security adviser Condoleezza Rice and Secretary of State Colin Powell but was rebuffed. Some White House officials said it was clumsy of Lott to ask.

And speaking of clueless: "Senator Lott's speech was direct, it was candid, it was properly apologetic and appropriately so. The president does not think that Senator Lott should resign." - WH spokes-tool Ari 'the Liar' Fleischer said, after Helmet Head's press conference. Remember this in '04.

The officials said the Smirking Ninny and his nursemaids aides believe Democrats are hypocritically exploiting the issue out of partisan opportunism, and that the absence of news from the war on terrorism last week contributed to the focus on Lott. The officials said Cap'n Cowpie would oppose any effort by Democrats to undermine Lott. Thay all seem to be ignoring the fact that it's the repuglicans that are doing most of the squawking here.

But another administration official said "If Lott was defending his leadership from Democrats, the president would defend him. If he had to defend it from within, the president would be reluctant to get involved." - (link). Chickenshit a$$hole.

Ummmmmm, Trent?
‘There’s not enough communication, not enough understanding of how people feel.’ - Hairball/racist/oblivioid Trent 'it's all about me!' Lott, in the BET interview .

Nelson Mandela Accuses U.S. of Diplomatic 'Piracy'
Hopalong Noodlehead gets great idea for a new costume.

Nelson Mandela lambasted the BFEE today for what he said were efforts to sideline the United Nations and condemned a U.S. grab for an Iraq weapons dossier as piracy.

The latest move, providing evidence for what Mandela says is the dangerous U.S. disregard for the principles of multilateral world governance, was the arrival of Iraq's 12,000-page weapons declaration dossier in Washington earlier this month. Washington obtained an early unedited copy of the Iraqi declaration originally sent to the United Nations after a deal was struck to override a U.N. Security Council decision to keep the report under wraps at U.N. headquarters in New York.

"This was an act of piracy which must be condemned by everyone," the former South African president told members of the ruling African National Congress.

"And one must not be dishonest and evade the real issue, viz. that the United States of America (with the United Kingdom in tow) has tended to dangerously disregard the principles of multilateral world governance," he said. "The conduct of the United States and the Bush administration with regards to the current Iraq issue is a case in point."

Mandela said there was a clear impression that the United States "remained intent on military action against Iraq at all costs." - link.

Switched over to DSL last night. After four hours and a talk-thru by a nice person in technical support when the blasted installation CD didn't work, I think we're back in bizniz.

Bunnypants aide to 'spend more time with family'
Like rats fleeing a sinking ship (I can dream), another WH bushoid is bailing. Nicholas Calio, pResident Evil's congressional liaison, is resigning his position effective Jan. 10.

Calio, credited with pushing through some of Bush's key legislative aims in the first two years of the Republican's presidency, told Bush in a letter that his reasons for leaving were "family and financial," meaning he wanted to spend more time with his family and return to the private sector. Developing... - link.

Daschle Urged To Reconsider Candidacy
Friends and advisers to Tom 'Isadora' Daschle (D-Neutered) have urged him to reconsider his desire to run for president in 2004, arguing that he may be more valuable to his party as kneepad-wearing castrato lapdog Senate minority leader than as a presidential candidate and that he is behind other Democrats in putting together a possible candidacy.
- link.

Maybe if he'd grow some f*cking balls
it would be a different story...

December 16, 2002

Some of his best friends are *******!
The Trent Lott interview on BET:

"What did you mean when you say 'those problems'?" interviewer Ed Gordon asked.

"I was talking about the problems of defense, of communism, and budget, of a government that sometimes didn't do its job," Lott said. "But again I understand that was interpreted by people the way it was and I should have been sensitive to that. I obviously made a mistake and I'm doing everything I can to admit that and deal with it and correct it. And I'm hope that people will give me a chance to do so."

Oh, and BTW, Lott announced that he has changed his mind about making Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday a federal holiday - having voted against it when it was on the Senate floor - and said he supports affirmative action.

"I'm for that," Lott said when asked by Gordon.

Glad he cleared that up.

Here it comes
Here's the WH's answer to the Trent Lott problem: Nooze Alert from CNN! '"There are problems" with Iraqi declaration of weapons program to United Nations, U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell says. Details soon.'


Dumbass poll of the week
CNN must be joking:
Have Sen. Trent Lott's controversial comments jeopardized his ability to advance the GOP agenda?
• Yes
• No

I'm confused. The tax-cuts-for-the-obscenely-wealthy agenda, the bombing-for-poll-numbers agenda, the no-health-plan-no-jobs-no-retirement agenda, the-destroy-the-environment agenda, or the fill-the-courts-with-intolerant-right-wing-nutjobs agenda?

• No: the sniveling pink-tutu'd Democrats will bend over as they usually do.
• No: His buddies in the GOP feel the same way as Hairball Head, so after a few days of publically 'agonizing,' they'll slap him on the back and forget the whole thing.

GOP to meet in January to decide on form of Lott's asskicking
Senate Republicans will meet early next month to settle the fate of Trent Lott as party leader in the wake of a racially charged controversy, GOP sources said today. Lott has said he'd take his KKK dolls and go home if he is removed from the leadership position.

The sources, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said the meeting would be called for Jan. 6, the day before the Senate convenes for a new session under republican control. - link.

Now try some others...
"In other words, I don't think people ought to be compelled to make the decision which they think is best for their family." - the Oaf of Office, Washington, DC, 12/11/02.

Bizarre headline of the day
Get that thing away from me! : One Dead, 9 Hurt in Blast from Banana Gas.

At least he isn't a criminal
Bunnypants has named former New Jersey governor (1982 - 1990) Tom Kean to replace Henry Kissinger as chairman of the panel investigating the 9/11 attacks.

Toe-sucker/traitor/clueless fungoid Dick Morris writes a "defense of Trent Lott" in the NY comPost, and I can't seem to pick my jaw up off the floor:

"If anybody wants an indication of how the Republican Party views blacks these days, refer them to the White House, where two of the top positions are filled by African-Americans, not because of their color but because of their minds.

"The Democrats are just using Lott's remark to get even for losing the Senate. And if they want Lott to resign, why not ask Sen. Bob Byrd (D-W.Va). to resign because of his former membership in the Klu Klux Klan and his recent use of the "N" word on television? And how about Sen. Fritz Hollings (D-S.C.), who voted against civil rights early in his career?"

What a rectum.

Last Minute Christmas Ideas!
Get the Crapping Santa Snowglobe and more at!

I'm nowhere near getting my Christmas shopping done!! Gahhhh!!!! Plus I still have baking to do! The critters are having fun, though. When the kitten's not batting ornaments around the house or tangling himself in tinsel, he's hiding under the tree and pouncing on me when I walk by. The older cat keeps trying to use the fireplace as a litter box, and one of the dogs has developed a taste for wrapping paper. The other one thinks it's great fun to pull little bits off the decorative birch branches I bought. The parrot has been adding farting, burping, and beer jingles to choruses of "Jingle Bell Rock" - the place sounds like some cheesy bar. And as if to get into the holiday spirit, the fishtanks have all turned green.

So, are we tired of Trent Lott yet? Or do you keep finding yourself saying "if Strom Thurmond had been elected president, we wouldn't be having these problems" ?! I stayed up way past my bedtime Saturday to watch Al Gore host SNL, which meant Sunday was spent in a near coma, but boy was it worth it. The Hardball and Weekend Update segments were hysterical. I hope to have a transcript later on, but you can read a partial at Eschaton.

December 14, 2002

My Mormon name is Amaree Busbyberkly Jukebox-Jezabel!
What's yours?

Take the Affliction Test Today!

"Transmitted by rabid animals, you're most commonly found infecting creatures such as raccoons, skunks, bats and foxes. But don't worry, you affect humans too, causing either paralysis or hyperactivity in your advanced stages, and ultimately death.

"Your most famous symptom is hypersalviation - that delightful foaming at the mouth that we have come to know and indeed love. However, you can also cause hallucination; think of the fun you could have at parties!"
-Thanks to Chapel Perilous for the link!

Dr Eeeeevil steps down
Unbelievable. Henry Kissinger, International Man of Criminality, has resigned as head of the commission investigating the 9/11 terrorist attacks, because keeping his controversial influential business contacts was much more important. - link.

"George W. Bush, who bitterly opposed creating this independent commission in the first place, now faces the task of finding some one else who is willing to torpedo it for him." - Paul Begala.

bLott on our nation
"Republican strategists strongly critical of Lott, however, were cautious in assessing his prospects. 'We'll see how the weekend plays out, but I don't know if it [Lott's performance before the cameras] is enough. Republicans are pretty damned depressed,' one said." - the Washington comPost.

'How the weekend plays out' ??? You mean like if the Dems' new holiday tutus come in, or if Karl Rove can manufacture some kind of Dem scandal? If everyone just "gets over it" and "moves on"??

I'm so torn on this. I'd love to see him stay and look like he's egotististically crapping on everyone who's not a rabid moonie dittohead racist - it would be great for the Democrats. On the other hand, I'd love to see such a flaming tool get his lying, hypocritical ass handed to him. Plus, if the 'pugs do finally call for him to resign as leader, they'll look bad for waiting so goddamn long to do it.

It's a foggy, miserable morning with a chance of rain, which will probably do away with what little snow is left out there. At this point I'd really rather have the snow - it's covering up all the dead leaves I never raked up.

We spent yesterday Christmas shopping, which means I got a whole lot of stuff for myself, though we did pick up a fruitcake for my sister and a farting Santa for my niece. There's still time to get Maru the GW Bush is an idiot calendar! LOL.

A big to Atrios at Eschaton for making John Podhoretz' column in the NY Post!

"An enterprising leftist blogger named Atrios ( spent the weekend digging up interesting tidbits about Trent Lott's home state of Mississippi and its record on the matter of segregation. That included the official 1948 Mississippi Democratic Party sample ballot, which asked residents of the state to vote not for Democratic nominee Harry Truman but rather for Strom Thurmond. A vote for Truman, the sample ballot reads, "means...anti-lynching and anti-segregation proposals will become the law of the land and our way of life in the South will be gone forever." By Monday morning, the blogosphere had gone ballistic."

December 12, 2002

Some fantastic Trent Lott limericks at Amish Tech Support!

This just in!
Bunnypants speaks, from in front of another taxpayer-funded backdrop. From the Conservative Nooze Network:

...Bush sharply rebuked incoming Senate Majority Leader/insensitive racist bonehead/national embarrassment Trent Lott for his comments, saying any suggestion that segregation was acceptable is "offensive and it is wrong."

Bush's comments, delivered to an audience of charities in Philadelphia, came one day after Lott said he would not give up his leadership post, despite the furor over his remarks.

"Recent comments by Sen. Lott do not reflect the spirit of our country. He has apologized and rightly so. Every day that our nation was segregated was a day our nation was unfaithful to our founding ideals," Bush said. "Was that OK, Karl?"

The president did not call for Lott to step down, but other conservatives say Lott must offer a fuller explanation of his comments, despite his apology.