February 28, 2007

Oh, how I love the smell. . .

. . . of astroturf in the morning. You know that the Rethugs and their hangers-on are frightened of something when they use one of their toolhead fake grassroots groups to attack it. In this case, they're ascairt of Al Gore, his documentary, and the validation it received from the mainstream in receiving the Oscar for Best Documentary on Sunday. The astroturfers couldn't even wait one whole day before trying to discredit Gore and his film by claiming that he doesn't follow his own recommendations.

So y'all don't "believe in" global warming; your intellectual predecessors didn't "believe" that the earth was round. The fact is, it's inconvenient (to borrow an adjective) for you (i.e., whoever the fuck paid you) to believe it. Asshats.


Oh, for the love of crap already
Shameless Bush suckhole Joe Lieberman (I-Me) says it's wrong to criticize intelligence on Iran. Intelligence that the White House has already admitted is inaccurate.

Great amounts of good
Signs of progress in Iraq

"But, of course, what we see on television is the one bombing a day that discourages everyone!" - Pickles Stepford. That darn war!

"That one pesky daily explosion that we see on TV... I know how discouraging it is for you to watch. You know where else it's somewhat discouraging? At the site of the bombing." - Jon Stewart.

  • Car bomb only kills 10 near Baghdad market.

    "What do we want? Braiiiiins...
    When do we want them? Braiiiiiiins...."

  • Zbigniew Brzezinski: just how the hell do you pronounce that, anyway?
    Liberal media snobs silent on the former national security adviser's assertions that the Bush misadministration will "manufacture a pretext" to go to war against Iran, the Duh! Weekly reports.

    The suppression of this damning critique of the Iraq war, the conspiratorial methods of the Bush administration, and its drive to an even wider war in the Middle East is one more demonstration of the corrupt and reactionary character of the American mass media. It indicates that the establishment media is preparing once again, as in the run-up to the invasion of Iraq, to serve as a sounding board for the administration’s war propaganda and lies.
    In other news, Anna Nicole Smith something somethng something.

    Not so fast, asswipe!
    Kerry slams slimebag Bush nominee over Swift Boat donation - says incident raises questions about candidate's fitness as an ambassador.

    A Senate hearing that began with glowing tributes to a St. Louis businessman [and Bush rump ranger] turned bitterly divisive Tuesday after he was pwn3d for supporting the controversial conservative smear group.

    Sen. John Kerry grilled nominee Sam Fox about why he donated $50,000 to the Swift Boat Veterans "for Truth" during the 2004 presidential race.

    "Might I ask you what your opinion is with respect to the state of American politics as regards the politics of personal destruction?" Kerry asked

    Fox said he didn't recall who asked him to give to the group and blamed partisans on both sides for contributing to so-called 527 groups that are not subject to conventional campaign finance rules.

    "So is that your judgment that you would bring to the ambassadorship, that two wrongs make a right?" Kerry asked.

    "I did it because politically it's necessary if the other side's doing it," Fox said.


    Kerry said the incident raised questions about Fox's fitness to serve as an ambassador, unless it was either to East Assholia or Greater Scumbagistan.

    Sen. Barack Obama, presidential hopeful and chairman of Tuesday's hearing, said he found Fox's responses as unsatisfying as a watery bowel movement. "What a miserable little turd," he was reported as saying. You go, dudes.

    Repulsive, toe-sucking attention whore squealing like a little piggy
    Unhinged sexually-frustrated chronic masturbator and insufferable dipshit Dick Morris, suffering from Acute Clinton Derangement Syndrome, "is showing that he intends to keep up a constant barrage of criticism of the former first couple in an effort to ensure that Mrs. Clinton does not return to the White House."

    "She believes that she is the last good person on Earth, and she believes that it is acceptable to do anything to achieve political power, that no means are beneath her," Mr. Morris told an audience of fellow good people, who hissed and booed whenever Hillary's name was mentioned.

    "Hillary is a cold enemy. She never kills in hot blood, just cold blood. She has a long list of people who've offended her. She absolutely wrote the book on what she calls the politics of personal destruction," he said, calling on his powers of personal destruction. "Every one of the scandals we had in [the Clinton] administration is due to her. Every one of these scandals goes directly to her. Even the sex scandals go to her."

    What... a... charmer.

    Poll: majority of Americans troop-hating Islamodeafeatofascisticrats
    Another new ABC/WaComPo poll shows that of the 63% of America-haters that oppose the surge, 72% of them want the Dems to stop Bunnypants sending more US troops to their deaths by blocking funding.

    Giuliani losing republican voters over abortion support
    ... gay unions, gun control, his three marriages, pink fuck-me pumps

    A new poll by the Washington Post and ABC News finds that republican voters are much less likely to vote for America's Mayor because of his pro-abortion views, with half of GOP voters saying there is no chance in hell they would support him.

    Confuse-o-meter: most polls still have Guiliani ahead of flipflopping panderer John McCain and waffling phony Mitt Romney.

    Gee! You negroes sure are tall!
    Dropping the ball. Again.

    Teeny, inept US Preznit George W. Bush reacts to a basketball that did not bounce back as he tried to dribble it during a ceremony honoring the 2006 NBA Champions Miami Heat in the East Room at the White House in Washington February 27.

    The video:

    Supportin' the troops
    Improving conditions at Walter Reed - for the Bush misadministration:

    Soldiers at Walter Reed Army Medical Center’s Medical Hold Unit say they have been told they will wake up at 6 a.m. every morning and have their rooms ready for inspection at 7 a.m., and that they must not speak to the media.

    “Some soldiers believe this is a form of punishment for the trouble soldiers caused by talking to the media,” one Medical Hold Unit soldier said, speaking on the condition of anonymity.

    Kick Fox "news" in the ass already
    From a Capital Times editorial, Feb. 27, 2007 -

    There is no question that Fox News is a mouthpiece for the Republican Party, and that is what makes the cable and broadcast television operations of Rupert Murdoch so noxious.

    If Fox was an ideologically conservative network, that would be fine.... But there is nothing conservative or liberal about Fox. It is a mouthpiece for the Bush White House and the Republican National Committee. And it does the dirty work of those entities most recently evidenced by the network's peddling of false reports suggesting that Illinois Sen. Barack Obama, a contender for the Democratic presidential nomination, had been educated as a Muslim fundamentalist.

    Fox deserves no respect whatsoever. But the people who view it do. Instead of refusing invitations to appear on what for better or worse is a significant national forum, Obama should seize the opportunity.

    Go on Bill O'Reilly's show and poke back at the bully. Go on Sean Hannity's show and tell the fact-mangling fool that he is wrong. Talk about the obvious and consistent pro-Bush, pro-RNC biases of the network. And if they refuse to air the criticisms, make a story of that refusal. It is far better to confront critics than to avoid them.
    Do something, for petessake.

    February 27, 2007

    Olbermann: Condo, you ignorant slut
    Keith Olbermann writes: "Invoking the German dictator who subjugated Europe; who tried to exterminate the Jews; who sought to overtake the world is not just in the poorest of taste, but in its hyperbole it insults not merely the victims of the Third Reich, but those in this country who fought it and defeated it. Saddam Hussein was not Adolf Hitler. And George W. Bush is not Franklin D. Roosevelt - nor Dwight D. Eisenhower. He isn't even George H.W. Bush, who fought in that war."

    Crooks 'n' Liars has the video.

    Hagel: fuck this shit

    Sen. Chuck Hagel of Nebraska is keeping his options open as he considers a run for the presidency. As a Republican, he would be primarily interested in the GOP nomination. But if that isn't a realistic possibility, he'd be open to running on a hybrid ticket with a Democrat. "If I decide to get into this, I would run not just to make a statement," Hagel said in a recent interview.

    "Rats! Not another one!"

    Why does America hate America?
    Heard at Saturday's Independent Spirit Awards...

    Zach Braff: You know America, here’s a little interesting tidbit you probably don’t know about me. My middle name is Israel. We’re both named after countries.

    America Ferrera ('Betty' on the ABC sitcom Ugly Betty): Wow, that is interesting.

    Braff: So do you think that you have any traits in common with the country that is your namesake?

    Ferrera: Well, you know, I mean I guess I’m a free-spirited person and America’s supposedly the ‘land of the free,’ right?

    Braff: Well, I guess…

    Ferrera: Or at least we will be in 2008.

    Ba-dum-bum! LOL

    Rethug family values
    Won't somebody think of the children? Uhhhh... not in that way...

    The 24-year-old son of conservative religious activist David Daubenmire will spend the next five years on probation after a Licking County judge convicted him on a child-pornography charge. At a hearing this morning, Zachary Daubenmire pleaded no contest to a felony charge of pandering obscenity involving a minor. Judge Thomas Marcelain convicted him on the charge and immediately sentenced him.
    Fun fact: Daubenmire's father 'has fought pornography as the founder of Pass the Salt Ministries and Minutemen United.' I smell a letter from the General...

    Great amounts of good
    Signs of progress in Iraq

    "Many parts of Iraq are stable now. But, of course, what we see on television is the one bombing a day that discourages everyone! - Pickles Stepford.

  • Car bombs in Baghdad kill at least seven.

  • Car bomb at soccer field kills 18 children.

  • Roadside bomb kills 3 US soldiers in Iraq.

  • Supportin' the troops: rushed by the Decider's decision to reinforce Baghdad, troops are being forced to skip desert training, which was specially designed to prepare them for the challenges of Iraq. Meanwhile....

  • Bush funneling money to al Qaeda
    You're either with us or against us!

    The Dictator-tot is "supporting groups indirectly that are involved with the same people" responsible for 9/11.
    Seymour Hersh reports that the Bush misadministration is funding Sunnis linked to al Qaeda without Congressional approval. The money is coming from the "pallet-loads of cash floating around Iraq" and has already reached three Sunni jihadist groups.

    "We should be arresting these people rather than looking the other way."

    Turn around, turn over, turn tail, tur...d
    Waffling phony and political opportunist Mitt Romney tries to overcome his flipflopping inconsistencies.

    "Romney hasn't changed his mind on an issue, he's changed it on every issue in this campaign, including immigration, gun control, abortion, gay rights, campaign finance reform, tax cuts, health care, stem cell research - even his own political heroes."

    Fun fact: 'An internal document shows Mitt Romney's presidential campaign is concerned about his vulnerability to charges of flip-flopping, while suggesting he can differentiate from President Bush with a single word: "intelligence."' LOL

    Pander, pander, pander
    A conservatard columnist for inHuman Events and the Conservative Fishwrap and editor of GoPuke.com writes:

    This year, we have a new pander bear: Sen. John McCain. In fact, he panders to anyone who will listen.

    I have solid conservative friends who are now working in the McCain campaign. They have convinced themselves that the senator is the best the Republican Party has to offer this time around. I simply cannot agree. Having worked in politics over the years, and having maintained contact with those still in the political trenches in Iowa and elsewhere, I have seen little excitement for McCain. Conservative Republicans, for the most part, simply do not trust him...

    In this time of global terror, moral breakdown and fiscal crisis, the United States of America needs a commander in chief, not a panderer in chief.
    Fun fact: the Moonie Times reports that independent voters are abandoning McCain "in droves, a trend election analysts say could be fatal to his 2008 presidential hopes."

    Bonus: conservaturd toe-sucking dwarf Dick Morris says the John McCain candidacy "may be dying before our eyes," thanks to Rudy Giuliani and to the former maverick's pathetic leg-humping of the Bush misadministration.

    Cheney OK after explosion in Afghanistan
    Who cares about everyone else.

    "Homicide bomber" responsible, as opposed to the happy fun time balloon and daffodil bomber much loved by Afghan tots.

    Cheney heard 'loud boom' - "I thought it was my Aorta-matic 9000®."

    The US vice president, hiding in a bomb shelter, was spared, though scores of the "little people" were killed or wounded in a suicide bomber attack outside the US military base in Afghanistan. The Taliban claimed responsibility and said Cheney, possibly the most hated man in the world, was the target.

    The US Embassy said the vice president later met with President Hamid Karzai in Kabul to demand the bloody heads of all firstborn children in retaliation for the heinous attack.

    Bonus: "Officials say Cheney was never in danger as bomb residue analysis shows no traces of garlic, silver, or holy water." - headline on teh intarwebs.

    Boob tube
    Mr. “Support the Troops” calls reporters covering the war "snobs," supports blackout of Iraq war coverage in favor of breathless, one-handed fawnage over blonde gold-digging bimbo.

    [Pasty Fox News gasbag John "Hollywood" Gibson] remains fixated on the late Playboy playmate. Every day since Smith’s death on Feb. 8, Gibson has devoted significant segments of his show “The Big Story” to Anna Nicole Smith.

    GIBSON: Now I submit to you that that is a real, honest-to-God drama. Now it may not fit the high-minded views of a lot of news professionals, people who think that their news program is just another part of Foreign Affairs Quarterly. That only a certain kind of news is worthy of their discussing. Those people are snobs.
    Now that's supporting the troops!

    Update: John Gibson has been sentenced to an eternity in Hell for his "unabashedly obsessive coverage" of the Anna Nicole Smith "story."

    February 26, 2007

    "Fuck - is that Dick Cheney? I am SO not coming out from under here."

    The choice on Iraq
    My way, or the highway.

    Gee. Sanctimonious twat-hole Joe Lieberman (I-Me) has an op-ed in the conservatard editorial section of the Whore Street Journal.

    I appeal to my [America-hating] colleagues in Congress to step back and think carefully about what to do next otherwise I'll officially flip over to the GOP. Instead of undermining Gen. Petraeus before he has been in Iraq for even a month, let us give him and his troops the time and support they need to succeed.
    You know, more troops. You troop-hating underminers.

    Bonus: "Bereft of judgment and integrity": Why Joe Lieberman's latest op-ed is not only blatant attention whoring, but is dishonest and dangerous as well.

    Poll: More Americans trust Congress over Bush on Iraq
    Troop-hating anti-American terrist-enablers from all parties overwhelmingly disapprove of Awol von Chimpenstein's handling of the Iraq fiasco, hockey puck.

    Keepin' us safer
    As we continue to make progress in the war against terra, overbearing crank Dick Cheney tells President Musharraf that Islamodemodeafeatofascisticrats will embolden the enemy unless Pakistan "does more" to stop the Taliban and the resurgent al Qaeda in Afghanistan.

    Fun fact: Pakistan is "fed up" with the US telling it it's not doing enough about the Taliban and Al Qaeda. So cut it out, goddammit.

    Bonus: Jimmy Carter tells Cheney to STFU already.

    "Feed me. Feed my maw with your puppies."