January 31, 2008


Why isn't this scumbag in prison yet?????

Confusion, pants-crapping at Circlejerk Central

Mass implosion at fRetardia as sainted wife of holy icon endorses John McCain:

-- in big red letters over at drudge, tinyized and dereddified here for content.

Bonus comment from one of the posters: "Looks like McCain just wrapped up the senelity vote."

Double bonus: "Nancy, you are a disgrace to the memory of your husband. Didn’t you watch Senator John McCain at the debate? Didn’t you see how he twitched and fidgeted and bumbled the questions and had an insane look on his face? What is wrong with you that you endorse somebody who is loony tunes?"



Another MAJOR Endorsement

In a shocking announcement that has stunned the political arena, and rivalling the Chuck Norris endorsement of Huckafucknut, Hulk Hogan has endorsed b. HUSSEIN Osama.
Anonymous beltway insiders speculate that a Hogan/Obama vs Hillary/Bill tag team match on pay per view is being negotiated.

Whatcha going do when Obamamania runs wild all over you??!


First photo ever of the solar system's huge asshole. No, it's not Rush Limpbaugh.

Keepin' us safer

America's military hates America, reports new troop-hating report.

The U.S. military isn't ready for a catastrophic attack on the country, and National Guard forces don't have the equipment or training they need for the job, according to a report by the Duh Institute.
Why is Fox News emboldening the enemy??

Just In Time.............

Just like a recurring flare-up of Herpes simplex 08, Republicunt tool Ralph Nader considers coming through again.
Republicunt donors furiously writing checks.
Shoot me. But before you do, Maru has more below.

McCain pimpslaps Waffles in last night's GOP debate

As Ron Paul and Mike Huckabee were relegated to standing around making shadow puppets, the two front-runners were making spectacles of themselves. It was cool.

"If you get endorsed by the New York Times, you're probably not a conservative," Mitt Romney said early on, when asked if McCain was "outside the mainstream" of the Republican Party. The line might as well have been a "kick me" sign on Romney's back. McCain practically came out of his shoes.

"Let me note that I was endorsed by your two hometown newspapers who know you best, including the very conservative Boston Herald, who know you well better than anybody," McCain said with a nasty grin. "So I'll guarantee the Arizona Republic will be endorsing me, my friend."
Dayyum! Later, after McCain continued to claim Romney supported timetables for withdrawing troops from Iraq, Romney went ballistic, and invoked the holy name of Saint Ronnie of Reagan:
"Unequivocally, absolutely no. By the way," he added, sobbing, "raising it a few days before the Florida primary, when there was very little time for me to correct the record ... sort of falls in the kind of dirty tricks that I think Ronald Reagan would have found to be reprehensible."
Ooooooh! pwn3d! And I could've sworn that only Demoncraps were this nasty.

Fun fact: "Reagan" was mentioned about 63 times overall during the dabate, culminating in this extreme orgasmic Reaganstravaganzathon from Willard "Reagan" O'Romney:
ROMNEY: Ronald Reagan would look at the issues that are being debated right here and say, one, we're going to win in Iraq, and I'm not going to walk out of Iraq until we win in Iraq.

Ronald Reagan would say lower taxes. Ronald Reagan would say lower spending.

Ronald Reagan would -- is pro-life. Ronald Reagan would also say Ronald Reagan wants to have an amendment to protect marriage. Ronald Reagan would say, as I do, that Washington is broken. And like Ronald Reagan, I'd go to Washington as an outsider -- not owing favors, not lobbyists on every elbow. I would be able to be the independent outsider that Ronald Reagan was, and Ronald Reagan brought change to Washington.

Ronald Reagan would say, yes, let's drill in ANWR. Ronald Reagan would say, no way are we going to have amnesty again. Ronald Reagan saw it, it didn't work. Let's not do it again.

Ronald Reagan would say no to a 50-cent-per-gallon charge on Americans for energy that the rest of the world doesn't have to pay.

Ronald Reagan would have said absolutely no way to McCain-Feingold.

I would be with Ronald Reagan. And this party, it has a choice, what the heart and soul of this party is going to be, and it's going to have to be in the house that Ronald Reagan built.

Ronald Reagan. I'd blow him! Thank you.
... but I may have lost count due to Ronald Reagan fatigue. Reagan.

Lettin' Freedom Reign!

The young and liberated democracy in Afghanistan is sentencing a journalist to death because he downloaded and distributed a report on women's rights. Our soldiers are dying for this?

A young man, a student of journalism, is sentenced to death by an Islamic court for downloading a report from the internet. The sentence is then upheld by the country's rulers. This is Afghanistan – not in Taliban times but six years after "liberation" and under the democratic rule of the West's ally Hamid Karzai.
Heckuva Job!! The American Taliban is green with envy.
The islamonazicommiejihadifascists hate us because of our freedoms.


Egotistical suckhole plots destruction of America

Again. Should-have-been-strangled-at-birth attention whore Ralph Nader has launched an exploratory website that ironically asks “Which side are you on?

Uhhhhhh... Earth to assclown...!

Makin' progress

We are so kicking ass! As Bill "Always Wrong' Kristol drily jerks himself off in his fetid penthouse, a car bomb explosion in an Indiana-like section of Baghdad killed at least five, and rockets fired into a British base killed more. Also, for the first time in almost a Friedman Unit, deaths in Iraq have increased.

Meanwhile, suicides by US troops have hit a record high, with as many as 121 soldiers committing suicide in 2007 alone.

January 30, 2008



"Barack Obama on Tuesday night aimed to scrub Tony Rezko's taint..."

Lieberman to attend Republican convention?

Just fucking shoot me.

There’s been some speculation that John McCain would consider insufferable quisling Joe Lieberman as his running mate on the Republican ticket. Yesterday, Lieberman dismissed the talk — but raised eyebrows anyway by hinting at which convention he may attend.

Lieberman told the AP that his endorsement of McCain isn’t a step toward switching parties. “I don’t have any intention of leaving the Democratic Party” [sic], said the longtime Bush rump swab. “I want to be a senator.”

Still, he left open the door to attending the Republican convention if McCain wins the nomination. “I’d probably be more welcome there,” he said.
Well, wtf do you expect???? I mean, Jeebus.

Aw crap

Damn. I am very sad to see that John Edwards has dropped out, thanks to the farking media turning it into a two-person race. I hope now that someone will have the smarts to appoint him AG -- where he can go fucking apeshit over any rethug who is still left standing. Or ejaculate over their rotting, oozing corpses. 

Mitt Romney: "work till you die"

Willard Whitebread McWaffles, compassionate conservaturd, talks to CNN’s Anderson Cooper about his economic ideas for the future of America:

Cooper: "If you were president, what additional steps would you take to try and avoid a recession?"

Romney: "I think people sixty five and older should not have payroll taxes taken out of their wages to allow folks to stay in the work force and to keep more of their income. They’ve paid for social security already. Let’s build up our work force and not go outside of the country to bring immigrants. Let’s let our own people keep more of their money and stay in the work force."
"Now, get out there and prune my shrubbery, old man!"

Gpuke propaganda nutwork in desperate straits

After years of sucking up to and being the smegfilled mouthpiece of the GOP, Fox Noise is seeing the future and it doesn't smell too good. Eric Boehlert explains:

Bottom line is that Fox News is in for a very rough 2008. And the reason for that is quite simple: Eight years ago the all-news cable channel went all-in on the presidency of George Bush and became a broadcast partner with the White House.

The point is that Fox News years ago made an obvious decision to appeal almost exclusively to Republican viewers. The good news then for Fox News was that it succeeded. The bad news now for Fox News is that it succeeded.

Meaning, when the GOP catches a cold, everybody at Fox News gets sick. As blogger Logan Murphy put it at Crooks and Liars, "Watching FOXNews getting their comeuppance has been fun to watch. They made their bed, now they're having to lie in it and it's not too comfortable."

Plus their anointed candidate, Rudy Giuliani, failed spectacularly and has dropped out of the race. Oh, sweet sweet schadenfreude, how happy you make me.

Repulsive, subhuman turd needs irony, humanity transplant

Speaking of wankrags... There is something so wrong with this moron. And with the people who hired him.

On the January 28 edition of his CNN Headline News program, while discussing Sen. Edward Kennedy's endorsement of Sen. Barack Obama, [drooling inbecile] Glenn Beck asked Republican strategist Amy Holmes, "[Y]ou ever just pictured Ted Kennedy naked?" Beck continued: "I don't know when but sometimes, you know, that picture with him with his shirt off just kind of pops into your head. And you're like, 'OK, I won't have children now.' "
Jebus, look who's talking, you disgusting POS. Blarrrff.

Is he still on??

Sweet Zombie Jesus, is there a bigger wankrag than FuckTucker Carlson?

On the January 29 broadcast of MSNBC Live, smarmy douchewad Tucker Carlson asked Huffington Post media editor Rachel Sklar: "[H]ave you ever seen press coverage more slavish, more slobbering than the coverage Barack Obama gets?" adding, "And I will freely confess that I am absolutely part of the problem. I give the guy a pass at every turn and I'm nice to him even though I disagree with him."
Oh really:
In fact, over the past year, Carlson has leveled personal attacks against Obama and spread misinformation about him. Carlson has said Obama "seems like kind of a wuss," "sounds like a pothead," and gave a speech that was "kind of wimpy." After Obama reportedly "chided" New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd for mentioning his ears in a column because, as he told Dowd, "I was teased relentlessly when I was a kid about my big ears," Carlson said, "So maybe he needs to toughen up," adding, "What a sensitive little man!"
And what a repulsive little troll you are.

Keepin' us safer

Six years after the invasion of Afghanistan, the Taliban is on the rise.

  • Despite the presence of more than 50,000 U.S. and NATO troops throughout Afghanistan, the Taliban has taken back control of vast rural areas during the past year and now has a foothold just outside Kabul. Kabul has become a scarier, less active place for Westerners and Afghans.

  • Insurgency-wracked Afghanistan will become a failed state if urgent steps are not taken to tackle a deteriorating security situation and lackluster reconstruction and governance efforts, experts warned in separate reports Wednesday.

    In other words, Bush lied in the SOTU. Gee.

  • Makin' progress

    We are so kicking ass! As Bill "Always Wrong" Kristol continues his feverish masturbatory fantasies of the glorious surge, the Bush misadministration is "sending strong signals that U.S. troop reductions in Iraq will slow or stop altogether this summer, a move that would jeopardize hopes of relieving strain on the Army and Marine Corps and revive debate over an open-ended U.S. commitment in Iraq."

    The indications of a likely slowdown reflect concern by U.S. commanders that the improvement in security in Iraq since June — to a degree few had predicted when [the Mission Accomplished Commander Guy] ordered five more Army brigades to Iraq a year ago — is tenuous and could be reversed if the extra troops come out too soon.
    In another astonishing sign of normalcy, an Iraqi television cameraman and his driver were killed in a roadside bombing north of Baghdad Wednesday.

    Feeling The Love....And Something Like Old Raw Liver

    Typing with one hand while the other mercilessy clubbing whatever fetid monstrosity lurks beneath her cumstained black cocktail dress, the object of many a reich-wingnut masturbatory fantasy mAnn Coulter opines that Republicunt front-runner John McStain is a Liar.

    Of course, I might lie constantly too, if I were seeking the Republican presidential nomination after enthusiastically promoting amnesty for illegal aliens, Social Security credit for illegal aliens, criminal trials for terrorists, stem-cell research on human embryos, crackpot global warming legislation and free speech-crushing campaign-finance laws.
    I might lie too, if I had opposed the Bush tax cuts, a marriage amendment to the Constitution, waterboarding terrorists and drilling in Alaska.
    And I might lie if I had called the ads of the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth "dishonest and dishonorable."
    As usual the unvarnished truth from Coulter. The MSM will never reveal these points.
    It is time for conservatives to rally behind Mitt to save the party. Go Mitt!

    McCain wins Florida as conservatards cringe

    "Few Republicans are as reviled by elite conservatives as McCain. On a litany of issues, including immigration, campaign finance reform, judicial nominations, and taxes, McCain has angered important constituencies within the conservative movement." -- the american expectorator

    "McCain's liberal record..." -- the Moonie Times

    "The conservative base is beginning to mutter loudly about how Mr. McCain's competing priorities could threaten his ability and willingness to push solid nominees past a Democratic Senate." -- Whore St Journal op-ed

    "The GOP nomination is over. Conservatives need to start practicing the phrase "Nominee presumptive John McCa....." Sorry, I can't say it. Not yet. " -- the National Fishwrap

    "McCain clearly does not believe in conservative jurisprudence. After all, this is the man who is responsible for the biggest roll-back of constitutional rights in living memory." -- american stinker

    "We hear what he says now. But we know what he has done for years: Insult the base, trash the base, and pay lip service to the base." -- Our Lady of the Concentration Camps

    "There is only one conservative in the bunch, and that would be Mitt Romney." -- kNeal Boor-tz

    And from circlejerk central:

    "I'm angry about how things are going, I won't mince my words. To watch the Establishment shove McCain into us disgusts me."

    "I fear for my country"

    "I believe this is the beginning of the end of the country I knew"

    "Fight the Evil McCain Forces!! No surrender, no retreat!"

    "Basically, unless mitt takes something BIG, as you said, we ar f**ked."

    "It just keeps coming to mind all those people who insist that this is indeed Satan’s world...."

    "It’s time to look at a third party. We’re so screwed."

    "This is the beginning of the end of America as we knew it."

    "I guess it comes down to the lesser of two evils. I pick Romney."

    "It is over. The conservative 'movement' within the GOP is kaput."

    ☺ I love the sound of repuke whining in the morning! ☺

    As history hesitated, nation's 9/11 attention whore cut and run

    Brave sir Rudy ran away.

    "One of the worst campaigns in history" -- the NY comPost.
    "Stunningly stupid." "A strategic failure of historic proportions " -- HuffPo.

    In the end, 9/11 wasn't enough. Rudy Giuliani, once the Republican presidential front-runner thanks to his status as "America's Mayor," suffered a debilitating, humiliating defeat in Tuesday's Florida primary.
    Somewhere, that sorry bastid Sean Hannity is crying like a little girl. Mwwwaaaaa!

    Next: the mini-Mussolini endorses liberal fascist John McCain. Details at 9:11.

    Did You Know?

    The Intratubes Ran on Steam

    January 29, 2008


    CBS's Harry Smith asks Ted Kennedy if he's worried that Obama will be assassinated --

    The Straight Talk Express Rolls On

    Maverick octogenarian Straight-Talker John McCain, the regular guy that independents and "moderate" dems want to have a beer with, showed yet another example his of bomb, bomb, bomb Iran sense of humor:

    Crist was asked if McCain used that tenacious, unyielding persistence in seeking the guv’s endorsement.
    “Well, not that much,” Crist began answering.
    “It was just waterboarding,” McCain interjected.
    Funny shit, eh? Almost as funny as a hundred years in Iraq.
    Ha ha fucking ha.

    Tweety Matthews: drooling gpuke-sucking mattress-soiler

    Tweet, his dignity in tatters, shamelessly gushes over half-dead old Bushkisser --

    During coverage of [Drinky McDumbass]'s final State of the Union address, Chris Matthews began an interview with Republican presidential candidate John McCain by saying, "Senator McCain, you know you're in my heart!"

    At the end of the interview, Matthews said: "Well, you show a lot of courage out there, Senator."

    Earlier on Hardball, during the "Power Rankings" segment, in which he predicted "who I think has the best shot right now at being the next president of our country," Matthews ranked McCain last out of his picks for the top four presidential candidates, saying, "At number four: the least promising -- break our hearts -- Senator John McCain, a regular of this circuit."



    A Product of The vast, Left Wing Conspiracy

    Deep within his underground lair...

    Alongside his kitten-in-a-jar, bonsai puppy and pickled baby heart, Dick Cheney keeps a piece of a house that was destroyed in Iraq as a souvenir.

    "I am crushing you! Bwahahahaha!"

    Bush derangement syndrome

    'Lieberal demoncraps should embrace the loving baby Jebus as their personal savior, maybe then they wouldn't be such hateful, evil fascists': a fReetard posts --

    "I’m driving my 8-year-old daughter home from school along with some of her fellow students and I hear giggling in the back seat. Asking to be let in on the joke, a young girl blurts out a vulgar and ugly little ditty about President Bush, the type of limerick that might have been told by a Nazi child about a Jew back in the 1930’s. This is not the first time I’ve heard a little child spew hateful trash about the President. The impressionable child no doubt picked this little gem up at the breakfast table of her good liberal parents.

    "What drives this hatred that causes otherwise enlightened liberals to fill the minds of their young children with such disrespect and contempt for the President of the United States?"
    Bwwahahahaha! You have GOT to be kidding me. After years spent trashing -- and even now continuing to trash -- Bill Clinton, Jimmy Carter et al, this is just fucking unbelievable. What the holy fuck is wrong with these people?

    Here are some of the actual replies from circlejerk central:
    "They are stupid."
    "Maybe because Bush, just like their out of power, elites simply have forgotten about the American people and couldn’t care less about us."

    "These are people who hate themselves as well. You can’t expect them to be any more charitable to others."

    "Liberals hate anything/anyone with any goodness or rightness in it/them."

    "Libs hate Bush because hatred is their their irrational religion."

    "Liberals—Democrats in particular—were unable to steal the 2000 election. Although they pulled out every dirty trick they had, they just couldn’t pull off stealing Florida."

    "They hate Bush since he represents everything they hate, America, Christianity, the military, family values and decency. Pray for W and Our Freedom Fighters."

    "He is unafraid of masculinity and speaks and carries himself accordingly."
    ... and it only took 8 posts before someone mentioned a Clinton! Hatefully! Yep, their goodness, decency and charity are shining through.

    As country sinks into pit of despair, BubbleBoy jauntily exits SOTU

    Instapundit, watching the Smirking Chimp walk off after the STFU, was "struck by how happy he looks. Other Presidents [sic] have looked beaten-down by this point. Not him."

    Yeah. Swell. Either Dumbya is too stupid to realize the fucking mess he's left us with, or he just doesn't give a shit. And Instapuke thinks its heartwarming. Fucking twat.

    The SOTU in numbers

    "Before the speech, White House officials set low expectations -- and Bush met them." Shoot, I couldn't watch. I took these from the transcript:

    Number of times mentioned

  • Iraq: 39
  • Congress: 28
  • Terror, terrorism, terrists: 23
  • Tax: 16
  • al-Qaida: 10
  • Freedom: 10
  • Extremists: 9
  • Protect: 9
  • Iran: 7
  • Enemy: 7
  • Attack: 6
  • Surge: 6
  • Economy: 6
  • Progress: 6
  • Nooculer: 4
  • Unfortunately: 2
  • Taliban: 2
  • Embolden: 2
  • 9/11: 2
  • September: 1
  • Osama: 1
  • Goin' to Mars: 0
  • Switchgrass: 0
  • Poland: 0

  • Romney: vampire-fighting savior of the GOP

    Ballgargling taintface takes time out from playing video games one-handed to burp up some Clinton hatred:

    "With a week until Super Tuesday, it's time for some straight talk. Here goes. Mitt Romney is the only candidate with the potential to get all Republicans on board in November and give the GOP any chance at all of victory. At the end of the day, it's not who's got the cutest ads or the best one-liners, it's who can put a stake through the heart of that she-devil Hillary."
    Hmmmm... wasn't it just a few days ago that one of these neanderthals wrote "This display of hatred usually is the hallmark of the Democrats"? Huh. Link in comments, if anybody wants it.

    POTUS's SOTU......STFU!!!

    Speaking about one of his signature programs, Pretzelnitwit McDumbass urged Congress to continue the No Child Left Behind Act, saying, "no one can deny its results." Republicans enthusiastically applauded while dropping to their knees, mouths open and lips moistened. Several Democrats, who disagree, could be heard laughing at Bush's conclusion.

    Fun Fact: Number of times Bush said terror/terrorist/terrorists: 22
    Number of times Bush said Osama: 0

    Bonus important campaign news: b. HUSSEIN Osama ignored Hillary!!

    Porcine scumbag's hatefilled gasbaggery shitcanned

    Discerning patriots cut legs out from under sleazy, divisive slimeball; leave him rotting in his own putrid effluvium.

    Under heavy pressure from students, New England prep school Choate Rosemary Hall has decided to cancel Karl Rove’s address at its commencement ceremony this year.
    Denied!! God, I hate that pud.

    Makin' progress

    We are so kicking ass! As Bill Kristol, John McCain and Joe Lieberman vigorously fellate one another after last night's SOTU, the glorious surge is going... gloriously:

    Democracy's on the march! Only nine bodies and 10 severed heads were found on Tuesday in an abandoned field north of Baghdad.

    In an astonishing sign of normalcy, a suicide car bomber targeted a U.S. patrol Tuesday in Mosul, killing at least one Iraqi and wounding as many as 15.

    And as we complete our objectives in Iraq, "the White House will ask Congress next week for another $70 billion for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, an amount that would help cover operational costs only until early next year when the next administration takes over."

    January 28, 2008

    Goodbye, Rudy Tuesday

    Thrice married serial adulterer and America's 9-11 Mayor's Florida firewall strategy has vaulted him down to fourth place, behind Huckafucknut - and clinging a single-digit lead over fast closing nemesis Ron Paul.

    It's working! 9-11.


    McCain's Willard 'Flipflop' McWaffles ad:

    Big Issue Surfaces in Republicunt Battle

    I didn't make this up, and it certainly isn't from the Onion. But this comes from the most trusted name in news

    Huckabee Challenges Romney Over Fried Chicken
    Mitt Romney's failure to eat fried chicken with the skin on is nothing short of blasphemy here in the South, according to GOP rival Mike Huckabee.
    Romney, of Massachusetts, dug into a piece fried chicken at KFC while campaigning in Lutz, Florida on Saturday, but not before peeling off what most would consider the best part — the crispy skin.
    "I can tell you this," God's chosen candidate said, "any Southerner knows if you don’t eat the skin don’t bother calling it fried chicken."
    "So that's good. I'm glad that he did that, because that means I'm going to win Alabama, Georgia, Tennessee, Arkansas, Oklahoma … all these great Southern states that understand the best part of fried chicken is the skin, if you're going to eat it that way."
    Nice to see them debating the most important issues of the day.
    Next: The two way debate over the proper way to cook and eat squirrel.
    Wow.....fucking Wow.

    SOTU "squatters" aim for presidential face time, cock

    Pathetic twats from both sides of the aisle arrive for the State of the Union 7 hours ahead of time -- so they can be seen on screen together with Moron McMonkeybrains for those couple of seconds as he walks past.

    "[Rebooblican Rep. Ileana] Ros-Lehtinen would then sit in the chamber for the rest of the day and wait for that priceless moment to come when President Bush would walk down the center aisle, give her a small embrace—and maybe even his classic wink—and the television networks would capture it all.

    Gawd. You people really should be ashamed of yourselves. My retarded dog has more dignity than you.

    How very professional

    Time's hack columnist Joe Klein on the possibility of the Clintons' return to the White House:

    "[T]he question of whether you want them back is -- it's not illegal, it's not unconstitutional, but there's a kind of, something that's spiritually skeevy about it, you know, having him [former President Bill Clinton] back in the White House."
    Ahem. See just about this entire blog for rebuttal, you scumsucking walleyed piece of gpuke knobgobbling crap. Honestly.

    Well, except for his dick, yeah

    And Whitewater, his cock, Travelgate, the Clenis, Vince Foster... The managing editor of townhall.cunt on whore wHowie Kurtz's Reliable Handjob yesterday:

    "Well, I think [Bill] Clinton has a duality. You know, he’s the charming guy, he’s the nice guy, but he’s also a guy who’s prone to eruptions and some falsehoods.

    "You know, he’s like the Incredible Hulk, except he turns sort of purple and blotchy instead of green. But, you know, I think he’s sort of a victim of the - or not a victim, but he’s getting used to the 24-hour news cycle. When he was president, he was not subjected to quite as much scrutiny, and I think he got a lot of passes, and now he’s mad he’s not getting them anymore."
    Fucking stupid bint. Unbelievable. Video here.

    Bush has big plans for final year

    List includes getting new streamers for bicycle "Ol' Paint," sleeping in the bottom bunk for a change, learning to color in between the lines.

    When Preznit Partypants delivers his last State of the Union speech tonight, he'll be stealing a page from Ronald McDonald's playbook... what? Whose? Reagan's? Oh, for the love of criminey. That poor sap must be spinning in his grave.

    With his poll numbers still sliding into the crapper, the Chimpleton will use the STFU to try to reassure nervous Americans about his efforts to rescue the very economy he fucked up, the glorious surge which has only killed five US soldiers today, and to chart a course to stay relevant in thankfully his last year in power, the miserable failure.

    Above: the preznit, still "revilint," is not finished destroying America.

    Feel The Power of the Fail

    Moving on from a successful gig as an advisor to the World's Laziest Presidential Candidate™ Hollywood Fred Thompson, Darth Cheney's straight daughter has now accepted a position as an advisor for flip-flopping champion Mitten the fudge packing, stormin' Mormon Romney.

    THAT should work out well.....

    East Coast privileged ponce's wardrobe change

    Candidate either doesn’t know who he is or is pandering to his audience.

    Some sanctuary city, Fla. - Mitt Romney showed up yesterday at a youth center named for the powerful Cuban-American activist Jorge Mas Canosa. But he was not wearing his usual Boston businessman's uniform of French-cuff shirt and silk tie {How John Kerryesque! - a very sarcastic Ed.}. Romney was wearing an open-necked ivory-white guayabera, the traditional Cuban men's shirt.
    OMG OMG OMG! He's reinventing himself! Just like Al "earth tones" Gore! Alert the media!!


    Another HUGE Endorsement For the Mittster

    BREAKING: Jesus Christ to return to Earth to endorse Obama
    The King of Kings to endorse Obama on Tuesday at a rally in Branson.
    Critics play down the value of the endorsement.
    By Sniffa
    Published: January 27, 2008

    Branson, MO - Stunning news from the Kingdom of Heaven, as Jesus has announced his long awaited return to Earth; though not to begin the Revelations, but to throw his considerable weight behind the candidacy of Barrack Obama, the Junior Senator from Illinois in his hard fought battle against Hillary Clinton for the Presidency.
    The endorsement is a major coup for the Obama campaign, as the Huckabee camp had been actively seeking the Lord's backing. Reached for comment, Governor Huckabee congratulated the Senator on the endorsement, but then went on to question whether this was the one and true, Jesus, further ratcheting up the vitriol in an already, increasingly negative campaign.
    "If one takes a look at where the endorsement is going to take place - Branson - one has to seriously question whether this is really the true Jesus, or is it the Mormon Jesus" said Huckabee. "And as I'm sure I don't need to remind you, Mormon Jesus is the brother of Satan. That's not a potato sack I wish to climb into.
    "The Clinton campaign was also quick to dismiss the endorsement. In a conference call with reporters, Chief Clinton strategist Mark Penn questioned whether the endorsement would make much of a difference.
    "Look, when you take a step back and look at the big picture, this endorsement doesn't mean that much," opined Penn. "Polling trends have shown that church attendance have been on the wane for decades. And I'd also like to point out that Barrack Hussein Obama has claimed that this race is about the past versus the future. Well you can't get more in the past than 33 A.D.
    "Mark Penn went on to compare the Son of God unfavorably to Senator John Kerry's unsuccessful bid for the White House in 2004.
    "Look, it doesn't surprise me that Jesus and Kerry have both decided to join the Obama camp," said Penn. "In 2004, Kerry didn't fight back against the swift boating, and Jesus didn't fight back against the Romans when they crucified him. You can expect the same response from Obama when the right wing smear machine gets going. Senator Clinton is the only candidate with the proven track record of fighting back.

    "The Obama campaign plans to release a statement later today.

    Democratic Underground

    Retarded Disaster Monkey wants to be remembered as "another Lincoln"

    Don't say it... don't say it... don't say it...

    Fox News shill Bret Baier “was granted unprecedented access" {Gee. What a surprise - Ed.} by the petulant Pinhead McPretzal to put together a one-hour documentary that reflects back on his [disastrous] presidency. The documentary will air this Sunday night.

    Baier previewed his fawning paean of suckitude -- laughingly entitled “George W. Bush: Fighting to the Finish” -- on Fox Nooze Friday afternoon. He said that what surprised him from the interview was the Dictator-tot’s repeated efforts to link himself to Abraham Lincoln.
    Gggggggggg...    Comment of the day: 'Lincoln was brain dead when he left office too.' There. I said it. Which brings us to...

    Restorin' honor an' integritude back to DC

    With Jebus's Party of Moral Values --
    Three federal employees are being investigated for unlawful political activities after they allegedly sent an e-mail falsely accusing Barack Obama of being a "radical Muslim."

    The US Office of Special Counsel - the independent federal agency responsible for enforcing a law banning civil service workers from engaging in political activism while performing their official duties - has launched investigations of two employees at one agency and one employee at another agency.

    The Counsel's office would not identify the individuals under investigation, or which agencies they work for because the investigation has not been completed.
    And in another somewhat related story...

    Speaking of suck, this person generates such vast quantities of it (s)he could consume several entire planets at once (warning: link goes to inhumanevents.com):
    "[Il Ducebag] walked into a White House stained by scandal and restored it to its former dignity..."
    Bwaaahahahahaha! Gawd. Oh really. Well, just off the top of my head I came up with these examples of the Bush misadministration's sterling and unfortunately unimpeachable* character (below):

  • Abu Ghraib
  • Lying about going to war. 935 times.
  • Ignoring the PDB of August 6, 2001 entitled "Bin Laden determined to attack in the US"
  • Enron and Ken Lay
  • Outing a CIA agent
  • Jack Abramoff
  • Blackwater
  • Waterboarding
  • Halliburton's no-bid contracts, overcharging, and missing $$$
  • Pat Tillman and Jessica Lynch
  • Anything to do with Tom DeLay
  • Cheney's energy policy meetings
  • Phone-jamming the Dems in the 02 election

  • Fucking with the American people, the Constitution and the Bill of Rights is a bit more serious than Bill Clinton's right to get a fucking blowjob, don'tcha think?

  • Conditions at Walter Reed
  • Terri Schiavo
  • Alberto Gonzales
  • Harriet Miers
  • The "Clear Skies Act"
  • Firing of US attorneys
  • Illegal wiretapping
  • "Free speech zones"
  • "Lost" White House emails
  • The Dubai Ports deal
  • Don Rumsfeld
  • Jeff Gannon, the White House whore
  • "Heck of a job, Brownie"
  • Duke Cunningham. Scooter Libby. Kyle Foggo. Mark Foley. David Safavian. Claude Allen. Lurita Doan. Larry Craig. David Vitter. Ted Stevens.

  • I'm out of breath. See also here, here, and here.

    *Fucking Dems