August 31, 2008

Poll: Confidence in whasshername next to nil

Sarah Palin has the lowest voter confidence of any vice presidential pick since the disastrous gpuke silky-pony choice of Dan Quayle, a USA Toady/Gallup poll released Saturday shows. And that's no small potatoes.

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Not from The Onion

GOP convention to highlight McCain's POW story.

Head plant.

[T]he Republican convention in Minneapolis-St. Paul will showcase McCain's life story. By the time it's over, one adviser said, every voter will know McCain grew up in a military family and spent 5 1/2 years as a prisoner of war.

Dude, somehow I really don't think that's gonna be a problem.

McSame's VP candidate has undecideds running to Obama


Among the critical undecideds, the Palin pick made only 6 percent more likely to vote for McCain; and it made 31 percent less likely to vote for him. More to the point: among undecideds, 59 percent said Palin was unready to be president. Only 6 percent said she was. If the first criterion for any job is whether you're ready for it, this is a pretty major indictment of the first act of McCain's presidential leadership.

One other striking finding. If McCain thought he could present Palin as a moderate, he was wrong. A whopping 69 percent view her as conservative (37 percent as very conservative), and only 13 percent see her as moderate.

From this first snap-shot, Palin has helped McCain among Republicans, left Democrats unfazed, but moved the undecideds against him quite sharply. I totally understand why.

"Wait, Palin? Did I say 'Palin'? I meant ... uh... .um ... ackkkkkk!"

Obama outwits the bloviators

Frank Rich: 'you stupid fucking pundits have been pwn3d, suckas!'

No major Obama speech — each breathlessly hyped in advance as do-or-die and as the “the most important of his career” — has been a disaster; most have been triples or home runs, if not grand slams. What is most surprising is how astonished the press still is at each Groundhog Day’s replay of the identical outcome. Indeed, the disconnect between the reality of this campaign and how it is perceived and presented by the mainstream media is now a major part of the year’s story. The press dysfunction is itself a window into the unstable dynamics of Election 2008.

At the Democratic convention, as during primary season, almost every oversold plotline was wrong. ...

On TV, each of these hot-air balloons was inflated nonstop right up to the moment they were punctured by reality, at which point the assembled bloviators once more expressed shock, shock at the unexpected denouement.

LOL. What a bunch of fucking turds.

Well, ok, that last bit was me.

Quote of the morning

'Bush may not attend Republican National Convention because of possible disaster. Also, there might be a hurricane.'
-- headline at Actual story here.

August 30, 2008

Velcome... to Caturday...

The REAL reason McCain selected Palin for his VP

And from our good buds at Blah3--


  • What the media would've said if Sarah Palin had been Barack Obama’s VP pick.

  • McCain's selection of Palin is bringing hoots of derision from women who hate America.

  • 'Feminists out there are appalled by the cynicism and condescension inherent in this choice. It's as though the McCain camp believes our irrational she-hormones will lead us, like sheep, to pull the lever for any candidate who looks like us--even if she has a strong record, as Palin does, of standing against women's interests.'

  • 'St. BBQ’s pick of Sarah Palin was a brilliantly stupid move that really encompasses everything we’ve seen about Republican politics over the past eight years. From a governing perspective, it’s blisteringly stupid.'

  • McMaverick, faced with a certain revolt by the fundies, caved on his first choice for vp: vichycrat Joe Lieberman.

  • 'Remember when Karl Rove said that Tim Kaine would make a horrible VP because before his one term as Governor he had been the mayor of Richmond, which is only 105th largest city in America? Yeah, neither does he.'

    Video stolen from Blah3!
  • Top McCain lobbyis advisor: 'he's not dead yet!'

    Oh good: inexperienced newbie expected to "be able to be educated quickly."

    "She’s going to learn national security at the foot of the master for the next four years, and most doctors think that he’ll be around at least that long,” said Charlie Black, making light of concerns about the cancerous old coot's health.
    John, probably doing a major face-palm, replies: "She can learn on the job over the next four years, you know, like night school."

    And STILL the media is gushing over this.

    A soldier speaks

    Jon Soltz, Captain in Iraq and co-founder of

    What's this say about McCain's judgment - to put political PR above sound judgment when it comes to naming a potential, if not very possible, Commander in Chief? What's it say about his judgment vs. Barack Obama, who faced with the same question, answered, "Joe Biden."

    In times like these, with the stakes so high, and the decent chance that McCain might not live long into his first term, I can think of no scarier thought as a proud war veteran than someone with such an empty resume holding in her hands the lives of my buddies still in the service.

    Caturday awesomeness

    I want to do this, too -- via Jill:

    My son, the putz

    John McCain's mom weighs in on Sarah Palin.

    Uh, NO.

    Dan Balz, repuke whore.

    I mean, honestly -- how can anyone write this with a straight face? Without being totally fucking blotto with a rethug dick up your ass??

    This is fucking embarassing, dude.

    America's American GILF

    In a bold maverick move, senile and Dementia afflicted old fart spices up campaign with a sexy Sarah Palin pic......

    MILFCain 2008: McCain and Palin In 2008

    Cafferty: 'are you people high???'

    Heh --

    JACK CAFFERTY: Can I just ask a couple of quick questions. The State of Alaska has a population the size of Austin, Texas. What does she know about inner city poverty, the war on drugs?

    What does she know about the Middle East?

    You want to put her up against Putin and Ahmadinejad. She was the mayor of a town of 7,000 people in Alaska.

    I mean you can buy this if you want, but I got 13,000 e-mails this afternoon and 90 percent of them said -- and they were from both sides of the aisle -- that the Obama people are hysterically grateful for this. They had a great convention and now they get Christmas early.

    STEPHEN HAYES, "THE WEAKLY ASSWIPE" Well, then you're talking to different...

    GLORIA BORGER: Can I just...

    HAYES: You're certainly talking to different people than I am.

    CAFFERTY: And most of the Republicans...


    CAFFERTY: Most of the Republicans I heard from, including a lot of women, who said how dare John McCain presume, because he names an inexperienced woman from Alaska, that he can start collecting the 18 million votes that were cast for Hillary Clinton?

    They're on opposite sides of all the issues. People are outraged. This is a joke.

    And later, it got better...

    CAROL COSTELLO: And some of the most ardent Clinton supporters, even though still loathe to vote for Barack Obama, found McCain's choice of Palin patronizing.

    ALLIDA BLACK, HILLARY CLINTON SUPPORTER FOR OBAMA: Well first we were just laughing. I mean, laughing not in the sense of oh, my god, what has he done, but does he really think that's going to work? I mean, does he think that women voters who were with Hillary think Hillary is some Lego block that you can take out a red one and put in a green one?



    August 29, 2008


    My favorite from 10 Things You Didn't Know About Sarah Palin:

    Palin and her husband have five children, Bristol, Piper, Track, Willow, and Trig. Her son Track joined the army in 2007.
    Mitt and Tagg must be really furious by now.


    "Let's hope Charlie Crist kept the receipt on that engagement ring."
    -- a poster on


    CNN is making want to puke right now with all their gushing over an inexperienced neophyte from the back of beyond being named as a possible vp for the country, with all that's going on in the world today.

    The new McSenile/Palin campaign poster

    -- via


    Speaking of Fox Nooze, I just got sent the pic below -- OK, is this thing real? Did those assclowns actually post this??

    Uhhhhh... right

    Fox Nooze: Sarah Palin does have foreign policy experience “because she is right up there in Alaska right next door to Russia.” No, really.

    ThinkProgress has the video.

    The American Promise

    "I’ve got news for you, John McCain. We all put our country first."

    "John McCain doesn't get it.

    "For over two decades, he's subscribed to that old, discredited Republican philosophy – give more and more to those with the most and hope that prosperity trickles down to everyone else. In Washington, they call this the Ownership Society, but what it really means is – you're on your own. Out of work? Tough luck. No health care? The market will fix it. Born into poverty? Pull yourself up by your own bootstraps – even if you don't have boots. You're on your own.

    "Well it's time for them to own their failure. It's time for us to change America."

    Friday Funnies

    "Political experts say that John McCain is going to try to steal attention away from the Democrats tonight by leaking the name of his running mate. Experts say there’s a pretty good chance that McCain will leak something else too." --Conan O'Brien

    "Michelle Obama said she's been in love with Barack ever since he took her on their first date and bought her ice cream. Isn't that sweet? Yeah, meanwhile, John McCain's wife Cindy says she's been in love with McCain ever since he hit her over the head with a club and dragged her back to his cave." --Conan O'Brien

    "Tomorrow — this is a little fun fact for you — both John McCain and Michael Jackson will celebrate their birthday. Yeah, so it will be the birthday of an old white guy and John McCain." --Conan O'Brien

    "Barack Obama's freshly-minted running mate, Sen. Joe Biden, also spoke tonight, and I have to say, after all the name-related problems this campaign has had, why Obama would pick a vice president with the last name 'Biden' is beyond me. Not that there's anything wrong with the name of Biden, but Obama-Biden, it's like they're trying to make their ticket sound as much like Osama Bin Laden as possible. They found the two guys in America whose names match up most closely with the person we hate more than anyone in the world, and they put them on the bumper stickers, very good thinking." --Jimmy Kimmel
    I am not surprised that the reichwingnut rapture nuts haven't picked up on that.~Ed.

    More reactions on McInsane's vp choice

  • McBush chooses his Dan Quayle.

  • The VP choice that lost the presidency for McCain.

  • At least Senator Obama's been to Iraq!

  • Palin's age, inexperience rival Obama's ... oh, yeah, you got it: "analysis" by the AP's resident gpuke fuckmeister Ron Fournier.

  • Quickies

  • "[Porculent asswipe Karl] Rove on the chance of Gustav hitting during the RNC: 'The Republicans can't seem to get a break when it comes to August and when it comes to the weather.' Truly, Republicans were the real victims of Katrina." -- headline at today.

  • The DNC gives reporters McCain Survival Kits to use at the rethug convention, which contain extra-strength Tylenol, Pay Day and 100 Grand candy bars, and an oversized lapel button reading "Ask Me How Many Houses I Own."

  • As Republicans settle on the fact that there were columns on Sen. Obama's stage as some of kind of proof of ... something, here's a picture of Bush accepting the nomination in 2004, complete with columns.

  • U.S. District Judge and Bush appointee Samuel Kent indicted on sex abuse charges.

  • Bush 'energized and excited' by McCain VP choice, new coloring books.

  • Barackopolis? Egobama? Temple of who?

    Republicans are so fucking pathetic. Columns! Ahhhh! Even more disgusting? Cable tv stations that aren't the official gpuke propaganda nutwork harping on it.

    Well, when faced with multiple assitrocities like that, you have to fight fire with fire. My friends, thanks to Bob Cesca, the Presumptuous Greek god McBush.

    Yeah, when McMansions accepts the repuke nomination in front of an imitation Cong grass hut complete with punjii sticks and shrunken heads and shit, we should all be ashamed of ourselves.

    Happy 72nd birthday, senile old guy!

    Incontinent, testy Cranky McFusepants will shoot the first goddamn cunt who sings 'Happy Birthday' to him, so help him God.

    Lost in the frenzy of Barack Obama’s speech and John McCain’s vice presidential pick is another big milestone: the [angry, crotchety old coot]’s 72nd birthday today.

    The McCain campaign is hoping to bury the news in the announcement of his running mate — but the Democrats have a different way of marking the big day, Washington Wire has learned. They plan to celebrate with the septuagenarian all weekend, accusing him of being close with [Preznit DisasterChimp] by throwing “More of the Same” birthday parties on Friday and Saturday in key states like Ohio and Pennsylvania.

    A noun, a verb, and a POW

    Former President and elder statesman slams irritable curmudgeon on the continual playing of his broken record --

    Jimmy Carter said Thursday that Former Prisoner of War John "POW" McCain is “milking every possible drop of advantage” from his time as a prisoner of war in Vietnam.

    Carter focused on McCain’s interview earlier this month with author and pastor Rick Warren at his parish, the Saddleback Church. McCain used every question, whether it was about religion, domestic or foreign affairs, to talk about his five-and-a-half years as a POW, Carter claimed.

    “John McCain was able to weave in his experience in a Vietnam prison camp, no matter what the question was,” Carter, a 7-year Naval officer, said.
    Triple bonus points:
    “It’s much better than talking about how he’s changed his total character between being a senator, a kind of a maverick at the time, and his acquiescence in the last few months with every kind of lobbyist pressure that the right wing Republicans have presented to him.”
    So... totally... pwn3d.

    Stephen Colbert mocks subhuman twit

    I love this guy. Via C&L:

    COLBERT: “Now, of course, to judge convention speeches, I always turn to Bill Kristol. Monday night he said this about Michelle Obama’s speech:”

    KRISTOL: “I thought it was sort of generic.”

    COLBERT: “And, as for Senator Clinton’s praise for Barack Obama, here’s how Kristol described that:”

    KRISTOL: “Generic. Could have been applied to any other Democrat.”

    COLBERT: What a wordsmith. Kristol’s description about Democratic speeches are so…. what’s the word? Interchangeable? Non-descript? A kind of cheap knockoff of a brand name product? It’ll come to me."

    Birthday Wishes

    Last night, Senator b. HUSSEIN Beezlebub Ali Osama Obama(D-Islam) gave a speech in a professional football stadium that was packed. Today, Senator John McKeating(R-Hanoi) muttered about some fucking kids on his lawn while trying to cop a feel from a GILF in a minor college basketball arena that was half-full.
    Happy 72nd Birthday, McGrampy.
    John McInsane is so old that when former President Clenis spoke at the Dirty Hippy Lovefest, it is important to realize that the mighty and uber liberal Clenis spent 8 years as President, 8 years as a former President, and is STILL ten years younger than McBushagain.
    And although McSame may be very old, he is a former POW.
    Now get your hope off my lawns, you religious gun clinging kids.

    Cable news covering the DNC with republican cue cards

    Fuck this shit. When Obama wins the election, he should just totally fucking shut out every media outlet in retaliation. Except for the bloggers, of course!

    "When the Republicans attack, repeat the attack over and over. When the Democrats attack, attack the Democrats. It explains everything we're observing on cable news this week."

    -- Bob Cesca, on the abyssmal MCM coverage of the Democratic National Convention.

    I just liked this pic.

    McNuts picks cunt as VP

    Coldcocks Satan's porcine handmaiden in the process.

    Selecting a minority to balance out the black fella, the maverick also hopes his choice of running mate will bring in all those disenfranchised menopausal Hitlary supporters. But will an inexperienced governor and former mayor of Moosefuck, Alaska be able to handle a 3 AM phone call if and when the 72-year-old coot keels over???

    Fun fact: the choice marks yet another flipflop for Senile McPancakes, who has repeatedly asserted that his "key criteria" in selecting a running mate would be that that person would be "most prepared to take my place" and that his selection would be someone "who is ready to take my place at a moment's -- you know, immediately, pie plates bran muffins diaperrash."

    Fun fact 2: she hasn't even been in office two years.

    Bonus: she's already under investigation. What a time-saver!

    Paul Begala wonders "Is McCain out of his mind???"

    Andrew Sullivan: Palin is McInsane's "Harriet Miers."

    The WaComPo reports that Mitt Romney and Tim Pawlenty are pissed. LOL

    Shunned inlaw gives big FU to McNuts, snotty beerfrau

    "Only child" Cindy McCain's half-sister: 'I'm voting for Obama' 

    "I think his proposals to improve the country are more positive and I'm not a big war believer," Kathleen Hensley Portalski told the North Pottstown Herald-Tribune-Record-Gazette. "Cindy McCain? Who is that? Sounds like a royal-assed cunt to me," she should have added.

    August 28, 2008

    Anal leakage may lead to McCain’s departure

    Snort!   Angry, senile old coot may have much bigger problems...

    Sources close to the McCain campaign reported late Friday afternoon that McCain’s days on the campaign trail may be limited due to medical conditions. Doctors are calling the cause an acute case of “anal leakage.”

    “Senator McCain has been wrestling with this condition on and off for a little over 4 years now,” said the McCain campaign physician Dr. Earl Phillips. “He usually functions well throughout the winter months, with spring being his trouble season. It’s really quite surprising to see him struggle this much in February,” said Phillips.

    Judith Brown, a volunteer on the McCain campaign, said that the Senator’s condition has gotten to the point to where speech writers are forced to keep his public addresses to less than 12 minutes.

    “He just can’t hold up out there any longer than 12 to 15 [minutes],” Judith told reporters. “We’re to the point where we’re ready to try anything.”


    Don't ask me about honor, I'm a Former Prisoner of War!

    Straight-talkin' Cranky McFusepants gets ticked off, refuses to define "honor" in Time magazine interview.

    [H]e and his aides "have convinced themselves that Obama is not honorable, that he does not love his country as much as himself. That makes it easier to justify doing whatever is necessary to defeat him--especially if it's done in the pursuit of honor."

    In fact, McCain can't think of a single criticism of his campaign so far and refuses to answer when pressed. He also refuses to define what he means by "honor" when asked and refers to interviewers Carney and Michael Scherer to his books. He claims some of his past quotes have been ripped "out of context." They introduce the interview this way: "McCain at first seemed happy enough to do the interview. But his mood quickly soured. The McCain on display in the 24-minute interview was prickly, at times abrasive, and determined not to stray off message."

    Why does Time magazine hate America?

    In a related story, even Andrew Sullivan thinks he's gone a bit too far:

    While the McCain Republicans have launched brutal, personal and callow attacks on Obama's integrity, sincerity, and patriotism, the Obama Democrats have treated McCain with respect and deference - more respect and deference than his nasty, petty, little campaign deserves.
    They are taking a risk. They are living their message, even as McCain is trashing his own reputation with the asinine, adolescent Weekly Standard brattishness that is now his trademark.

    Nature's mighty power

    And bizarre sense of karma? A massive hurricane is going to land on or near New Orleans on the anniversary of Katrina, just as Preznit DisasterMonkey takes the stage at the rethug national convention.

    GOP: 'thinking is not allowed'

    Former Prisoner of War John "POW" McInsane -- who sent his homewrecking pillpopper trophy wife to discuss the Georgia/Russian war with President Saakashvili -- says Barack Obama’s decision to consider whether a special envoy to Northern Ireland was still necessary puts progress there “at risk."

    Senile old fuck.

    Harry Reid grows a set

    Holy crap. Finally, someone telling it like it is about Angry McNutcase:

    "I just think he doesn't have the temperament to be president," Reid told columnist Jon Ralston in Denver on Wednesday.

    "I've served with the man 26 years," Reid said. "Do I have the ability to speak with experience about someone who has abused everyone he's dealt with? Someone who does not have the temperament to be president, who's wrong on the war, wrong on the economy, wrong on nuclear waste. What am I supposed to do? Walk around talking about what a great guy he is? I don't believe that. .... "

    "There isn't a Republican serving in the Senate that's happy he's the nominee. Now, they're all supporting him, but I'll tell you they have told me. I've had Republican senators tell me they don't think they'll vote for him," Reid said.

    When Ralston asked if Reid thought it would be "dangerous" to let McCain be president, Reid answered: "Well, if you said it, I wouldn't correct you."

    IT'S ABOUT TIME!!!!!

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    Gpuke VP hopeful spurns bloated, evil shitsack

    Rove, after asking insufferable quisling to withdraw name, tongue from his ass, gets finger instead --

    Corpulant antichrist Karl Rove called shrivelled, human-like smegwad Joe Lieberman late last week to urge him to withdraw his name from vice presidential consideration, according to sources familiar with the conversation.

    The smug, faux-pious vichycrat dismissed the request, the sources said.

    “Rove called Lieberman,” recounted another source. “Lieberman told him he would not make that call.”
    Karl has got to be pissed: sounds as though he really, really wants it to be Multiple-Choice Mitt:
    “Rove is pushing Romney so aggressively some folks are beginning to wonder what's going on,” grumbled one veteran Republican strategist.
    McMansions is expected to announce his vp choice on Friday. Unless Karl tells him not to.

    Fun fact: Mitt Romney bought a new $12 million beachfront house in La Jolla, California not that long ago. He also has a house in Iowa. And one in Massachusetts. And a lake home in New Hampshire. That one is worth more than $10 million. And he has a vacation home in the ski resort of Park City, Utah.

    Update: the confused candidate is now saying he hasn't decided on his running mate yet, mainly because giant horseflies refrigerators hot-air balloons.

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    We have so won!

    A U.S. soldier has died of wounds suffered in a small-arms fire attack in Baghdad.

    As things continue to go remarkably well, separate suicide bombers killed 30, including 28 in an attack Tuesday on Iraq police recruits.

    Oh, and China has reached a $3 billion oil deal with Iraq. China.

    Tom Brokaw: douchewad

    I never thought I'd say it, but I've lost all respect for this guy:

    Raves for the media's convention coverage!

    And not in a good way! Boy, the bad reviews just keep pouring in --

    THE BEST way to watch a political convention is on C-Span. That way Americans can make their own judgments unfiltered, without being told what to think by the nattering nabobs of TV commentary. The latest "narrative" making its way around the Democratic convention here is that the Obama campaign hasn't learned the lesson of John Kerry's 2004 convention, in which the nominee failed to directly attack President Bush. ...

    Had the commentators not been so busy filling airspace and paid closer attention to what was happening on the podium, they might have had a different take.

    Jon Stewart blasts MSM for horrific "coverage"

    Jon Stewart took after the established media for getting too cozy with candidates and regurgitating campaign spin when it comes to political coverage.

    In a breakfast with reporters, Stewart directed most of his ire at the 24-hour cable news networks, which he called "gerbil wheels," and said the media at-large had abdicated...

    Stewart said politicians in recent campaigns are "animatronic" because all of the "humanity has been managed out of campaigns." He referenced the back-and-forth during the Pennsylvania Democratic primary over Obama's lack of bowling skills.

    "It's stunning where this election is going to be decided on," he said. "Or what we allow it to be decided on."

    Don't miss...

    ... all the good stuff at BuzzFlash!

    Papers dropping the AP like a sack of rotting groundhogs

    Way to go, Ass. Press!

    The Star Tribune joins a string of other daily papers who have either given notice or revealed plans to cut the service in recent months.

    Those include the Spokesman-Review of Spokane, Wash.; the Post Register of Idaho Falls; the Bakersfield Californian; the Yakima Herald-Republic and Wenatchee World, both in Washington, the Valley Forge Herald-Picayune, the Daily Nosebag of Iowa City, the Maswegan Poultry Tribune, the St Mertle Herald-Tribune-Record, Indiana's Post-Intelligencer, the North Bumfuck Probe-Register of North Dakota, the Miami Standard-Review Times and the Waco Herald-Post-Record-Tribune Ledger-Review.
    The recent decisions to drop AP service stems from a planned rate change, say papers, and not from the fact that the service suddenly sucks major ass.

    Not to mention repuke dick.

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    Major-league asshole David Brooks: 'Most of the delegates’ at the DNC sound like 'a North Korean pep rally.'

    Maru: 'David Brooks sounds like a desperate little WATB whose panties are on too tight.'

    August 27, 2008

    "What's red, white, black and blue all over?"
    "POW John McCain getting whipped by gay sadists in a POW camp. POW."

    But... but... he's a former blahblahblah!

    Pat Leahy finally comes out and says what everybody has been thinking -- that McInsane has developed Alzheimer's Disease.


    See also here.

    Gee. What a surprise.

    Ron Fournier, gpuke asswhore.

    GOP VP wanna-be plays POW card

    Gawd. I haven't seen so much lip- and asshole-action since I toured that hot dog factory back in '81.

    Mitt "mmmmnummies!" Romney: "McCain earned his eight houses. Obama didn't."
    And does so again, with Faux Nooze's kNeil Cavuto.

    Bonus: the Mittwipe also mentioned how hard McMansions has worked for his family. Which one, I wonder? The first one he totally fucked over, or the new one?

    Black HUSSEIN Osama not only spent his 30s with a kitchen table, he wasn't whipped by gay sadists as a Prisoner of War.

    Disunity for McCain: GOP platform causing splits in the party

    With the MCM's never-ending gloatfest over "DemocratIC disharmony," we should be posting this all over the place. Via AmericaBlog:

    While Republican Party delegates today sought to defuse disagreements on hot-button issues with a draft platform aligned with the party's conservative principles, they could not avoid disagreements over such issues as immigration and abortion.

    And that goes double for picking that flipflopping gay-loving baby-killer Mitt Romney as VP.

    "Bend over, evangelicals!"

    Good one

    John "Bomb bomb Iran" McInsane, who called Vladimir Putin the President of Germany and can't remember the difference between Sunnis and Shiites, Russia and the USSR, Czechoslovakia and 2 other countries or where Afghanistan's borders are criticizes Obama's foreign policy."

    To be fair, he was was whipped by gay sadists as a Prisoner of War.

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