May 31, 2004

Whoa - the WaPo breaks down the Bush campaign lies about John Kerry.

Sovereignty. Democracy. Freedom.
Iraqis boiling at Bushies' ban on their pick for president.

Boy, that sounds familiar, dunnit?

Iraqi leaders were dismayed that the United States Monday were blocking their choice of a president to succeed Saddam when the US occupation authority is wound up in a month's time.

Council members said Paul Bremer and UN envoy Lakhdar Brahimi were pressuring them to back Adnan Pachachi, an 81-year-old former foreign minister.

"There's quite a lot of interference. They should let the Iraqis decide for themselves. This is an Iraqi affair," Mahmoud Othman, a Kurd on the 22-member Council, told Reuters.

"We were hoping that this government would have some legitimacy," said Jawad al-Boulani. "But if the government is formed in this way the Iraqi people will reject it."

Image by deviousp.

Anyone out there today?

Things that happened this weekend:
Saw a hummingbird in the garden.
The kittens started purring.
Started drinking gin 'n' tonics, which I found don't make me as sick and sleepy as rum drinks do. Weird. Anyway, as you can tell, my life is pretty much one big laugh-riot.

May 30, 2004

'It's in my kennel so it must be mine, right?'

The Big Brown Dog and one of the kittens.

OK, now I'm scared
Sam Dash doesn't.

Cox, who busted Dick, goes limp, peters out.

RimJob's mouthbreathers are crying 'conspiracy.'

There's something so Freudian about this
But it's too disgusting to think about.

Buckeroo Bonehead keeps Saddam's pistol "at arm's reach."

"He really likes showing it off," said a recent visitor who had a play-date at the White House.

Let freedom ring
Patriotic, freedom-loving Americans threaten and assault gallery owner over Iraq art.

If fear fails, what's next?

At Mr. Ashcroft’s behest, let’s remind ourselves: This administration, despite warnings, did nothing to prevent the attacks of 9/11. They have thus far failed to capture or kill Osama bin Laden. They diverted crucial personnel and supplies from the pursuit of bin Laden in favor of their hungrily desired war in Iraq. They based the Iraq war on finding stockpiles of illegal weapons and disrupting Saddam’s ties to al Queda--neither of which has been shown to exist...

This is not to say that our country is immune from terrorism; quite the opposite. Mr. Bush’s actions since 9/11 have added to the fires of hatred directed toward this nation. But the issue regarding Mr. Bush and his crew is that they have squandered their credibility with the American people...

With just over five months to go before election day, it must be asked: How far would they go? With blood on their hands and God on their side, what actions would Bush & Co. consider too extreme--when the goal is to extend their control over the financial and military power of the American presidency?

- Emphasis mine. Read more here

Dicking around
Time magazine uncovers evidence that Dick 'Chicanery' Cheney lied about not being involved in Halliburton contracts.

I'm shocked...shocked...

May 29, 2004

"Newly released transcripts reveal that President Nixon was drunk during the Arab-Israeli crisis of 1973. After hearing this, president Bush said, 'Hey, so was I!'" — Conan O'Brien.

"Ashcroft said that our way of life is being threatened by a group of radical religious fanatics who are armed and dangerous. And then he called for prayers in the schools and an end to gun control." — Jay Leno.

"John Kerry said a vote for Ralph Nader is a vote for George Bush. Bush said, "I'm voting for Ralph Nader!" — Jay Leno.

War criminals
"Bush's persistence in describing the abuse of foreign prisoners as an isolated problem at one Iraqi prison is blatantly at odds with the facts seeping out from his administration. These include mounting reports of crimes at detention facilities across Iraq and Afghanistan and evidence that detention policies the president approved helped set the stage for torture and homicide... It is horrifying to contemplate that US interrogators have tortured and killed foreign prisoners and that their superiors have ignored or covered up their crimes - and yet that is where the available facts point."

- from an editorial in the WaPo.

"Rumsfeld, he with the lack of conquest planning, and Powell, with the lack of guts, should both resign. The Shrubhead should be impeached for being the lying or credulous, but certainly incompetent, bag of treason he is."

- Jane Wallace Claymore, in the Charleston Gazette.


"The White House had a perfect deal with Miller," said a former CIA analyst. "Chalabi is providing the Bush people with the information they need to support their political objectives, and he is supplying the same material to Judy Miller..."

When the full history of the Iraq war is written, the most scandalous chapter may be about how American journalists, in particular those at the New York Times, allowed themselves to be so easily manipulated by both Ahmad Chalabi, an Iraqi exile with his own virulently pro-war agenda, and the Bush White House.

- James C Moore, in the Guardian.

"They could have told us ahead of time!"
After two days of conflicting statements and mixed signals on the urgency of the terrorist threat Crisco John Ashcroft and Tom Ridge late Friday issued a joint statement implying they had both gotten their asses reamed.

The move appears designed to show unity in the Bush administration's efforts to protect the home front, reported CNN.

Homeland Security director/werewolf Tom Ridge
awaits his transformation in order to rip out
AG Ashcroft's throat.

Update: Ashcroft’s sources for this latest bullshit warning have turned out to be "highly suspect," as the claims were made by 'a largely discredited group."

Good news!

Burkina Faso and Dominica won't hand our troops over to international courts for war crimes trials!

/sarcasm, hating 'Merica

May 28, 2004

Bring forth the ring...whoa!
The true story of The Lord of the Rings, thanks to Bsti at Chapel Perilous!

To tell the truth
'Amazing things have been happening lately. The usual suspects have tried to silence reporting about prison abuses by accusing critics of undermining the troops - but the reports keep coming. The attorney general has called yet another terror alert - but the press raised questions about why. At a White House morning briefing, Terry Moran of ABC News actually said what many thought during other conveniently timed alerts: "There is a disturbing possibility that you are manipulating the American public in order to get a message out."' - Paul Krugman.

Nothing to crow about
Man chokes the chicken by giving cock to his hen, which laid an egg with his wife, so he commits another fowl act.


  • Exxon-Mobil made 213 billion effing dollars in 2003 and profits increased 87.7%.
  • Bush plans to cut the budget of just about every single domestic program if he gets "re-"elected.
  • US troop deaths in Iraq reach 800.
  • Having solved all other problems, Bunnypants promises to make doctors' handwriting legible in 10 years.
  • Meet the next dead guy in Iraq.
  • Hey - remember Afghanistan? Neither does Bush.

  • Working on the tranny vote
    "I want to thank my friend, Senator Bill Frist, for joining us today. You're doing a heck of a job. You cut your teeth here, right? That's where you started practicing? That's good. He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me."

    - the Smirking Moron, May 27, 2004.

    Dante, Randal, and Annoying Customer?
    Not that I have a snowball's chance in hell in keeping any of them, but I'm taking suggestions for naming the kittens in the comments section below. Difficulty: they're all male, baby.

    Here they are checking out the fountain yesterday:

    Why do they hate America?
    The FBI is investigating top Washington neocons for espionage.

    Whiny conservative columnist upset that you don't have to be republican to be a commencement speaker. Plus he can't get laid.

    White House divided over terror alert, smooth or chunky-style PB
    Department of vague, overblown warnings says that Justice Department's terrorist attack warning was vague and overblown.

    Officials and members of Congress with access to the intelligence reports said the announcement by Jesus John 'no wonder I lost to a dead guy' Ashcroft and FBI Director Robert Mueller was overblown and caused unnecessary public worry for the few sheeple that actually fell for it.

    "We do not have any new intelligence or specific information about al-Qaida planning an attack," Homeland Security spokesman Brian Roehrkasse reiterated Thursday. "Fucking Ashcroft..."

    It's 'watch a fretard's head explode' today
    Cornell has to put out extra seating for President Bill Clinton's speech Saturday at the senior convocation (from the Ithaca Journal, no link available yet).
    Bidding war for Bill Clinton's memoir, My Life has reached the mid-six figure range.
    President Clinton gives Kerry high marks on his campaign.
    al-Qaeda spokesman says terror organization wants Bush to stay in office because "his religious fanaticism will rouse the Islamic nation."

    Rain, thunderstorms, rain, picking slugs off the roses, rain.

    Let's start off with some happy news:

    Drunken elves.... mmmmmmmmm....
    Gollum and Frodo take turns bitchslapping Sam, Aragorn gets a new suit.

    Woot! What may be included in the Return of the King extended edition DVD.

    May 27, 2004

    Get your war on!

    Kitten break

    State of denial

    There has already been much analysis of the pResident's lackluster Iraq speech, the first in a promised set of six. The speech itself was largely boilerplate Iraq-yak from this pResident, all of whose talks are unidirectional and so filled with "progress" toward the "future."

    The triumphant aspect of his speech, as Dan Froomkin, columnist for the Washington Post, pointed out was certainly the makeup job.
    - Tom Engelhardt.
    In press conferences, TV ads, and interviews this year, pResident Bush has manifested a series of psychopathologies: an abstract notion of reality, confidence unhinged from facts and circumstances, and a conception of credibility that requires no correspondence to the external world. Tonight, as he vowed to stay the course in Iraq, Bush demonstrated another mental defect: incomprehension of his role in history as a fallible human agent. Absent such comprehension, Bush can't fix his mistakes in Iraq because he can't see how - or even that - he screwed up.
    - William Saleten.
    As ever, Mr Bush was utterly certain of the righteousness of his cause. He admitted no mistake, or even misjudgement, in the year since his premature "mission accomplished" speech on a US aircraft carrier almost 13 months ago.

    Essentially, the strategy set out by Mr Bush was less a plan than a list of five step-by-step objectives, each of them hostage to events on the ground.
    - Rupert Cornwell.

    Is he still here??
    Senator/doorstop Trent Lott, R-Idiot, says saving American lives should be the priority in Iraq, even if it might mean dealing harshly with prisoners.

    "Frankly, to save some American troops' lives, or a unit that could be in danger, I think you should get really rough with them, some of those people should probably not be in prisons in the first place," Lott said in an interview with confused anchors at WAPT television in Jackson, Miss.

    America's Junkie pummelled, goes back on the smack
    It's confirmed: Al Franken has beaten raddled, porcine druggie Rush Limbaugh in major demographics in New York. Now if he could just do the same on American Forces Radio...

    Weapons of mass dis--! Uhhhhhhh, never mind...
    The US government confirms that it has discovered the release of deadly chemical weapons, and that it has punished the army that released them. Unfortunately, the army that released them and was punished is the US Army.

    UN fury over Bush attempts to install Iraq PM
    The Bush misadministration was accused yesterday of undermining the work of the UN envoy by leaking that their latest puppet was picked to be prime minister.

    "There is no final list yet," said the spokesman for UN envoy in Baghdad. Plus, now that Mr Shahristani's name had been leaked "his life could be in danger."

    Good one, dickheads.

    Update: Hussein Shahristani, proving that he is a rocket scientist, has declined the position. "Thanks anyway, but I'd rather live," he tells reporters.

    The news keeps getting worse for the WH
    Evidently, the universe is French.

    Yeah, but Kerry would bring better condiments
    About 50% of Americans would like to BBQ with Bush, 33% with Kerry, 11% with plain charcoal, 3% with gas.

    Gray Lady's dress stained
    The New York Times admits to not checking facts, having sports section.

    "Looking back, we wish we had been more aggressive in re-examining the claims as new evidence emerged - or failed to emerge."
    - New York Times staff reporter Bob Baghdadi.

    Underestimicating Iraq
    And everything else.

    'Someday soon, Bush will have to give a major speech on Iraq, because the country he talked about in Monday night's speech doesn't look at all like it. And he seems determined not to notice.'

    Crucially, in the Iraq George Bush sees when he closes his eyes -- which seems to be the way he sees the country -- he can give just about the same speech he would give a year ago, with minimal mention of anything turning out differently than expected. The president sees this attitude as being resolute. To others, it looks like being oblivious.
    - David Sarasohn.

    Oh, and our troops in Iraq are running out of bullets.

    Analysts say US threat warning is ass-covering

    A vague new U.S. warning that al Qaeda may be planning a massive attack smacks of political back-covering and campaigning, not just a call for heightened vigilance, analysts and former government officials say.

    One former national security official in the Bush administration told Reuters: "This is more butt-covering than anything else."

    Critics say the new threat warnings may also just be a ploy to shore up the president's job approval ratings or divert attention from the increasingly unpopular Iraq campaign.

    Not everyone thought John Ashcroft’s warning was justified
    Even as Attorney General John Ashcroft warned on Wednesday that Al Qaeda planned “to hit the United States hard” in the next few months, U.S. intelligence officials were privately divided about whether the government had obtained any fresh information that justified such an extraordinary public announcement.

    Wasn't the Iraqi war supposed to keep us safe from terrorism?

    Huh - some 'Murka-haters just aren't buying it
    As Ashcroft warns of attack, some question threat and its timing

    Harold Schaitberger, head of the International Association of Fire Fighters, told reporters that he found the timing of the announcement to be "politically convenient at best" because it came after "we see the president's approval ratings plummet."

    Opponents of pResident Bush said the timing of the announcement appeared intended in part to distract attention from Bush's sagging poll numbers and problems in Iraq.

    Officials at the Department of Homeland Security said just a day before Ashcroft's announcement that they had no new intelligence pointing to the threat of an attack. Asked about the timing of his new warnings about the suspects, Ashcroft said, "We believe the public, like all of us, needs a reminder."

    A reminder?

    A reminder?

    A reminder?

    A reminder?

    May 26, 2004

    Bush speech meant to rally public support doesn't answer key questions
    Such as WTF are you doing?? and You're going to accomplish this HOW??

    After promising "concrete steps," the White House basically repackaged stalled US policy as a five-step plan, says the WaComPo.

    "Our terrist enemies have a vision that guides and explains all their varied acts of murder," Bush said. "They seek to impose Taliban-like rule, country by country, across the greater Middle East." He asserted that extremists now see Iraq as "the central front in the war on terror."
    Yeah, great - they do now, thanks to you. Idiot.

    More fratboy pranks, courtesy of the misadministration
    A US soldier, ordered to go undercover as a prisoner at Gitmo, was choked by guards and beaten so badly by American soldiers that he suffered a brain injury.

    Middle-finger news
    Bush and his father amassed more than 790 vacation days in fewer than two terms.

    Just when GW thought the news couldn't get any worse, now the economic 'recovery' is slowing.

    9th US Circuit Court of Appeals rules Ashcroft's interference with Oregon's assisted suicide law "far exceeds the scope of his authority under federal law."