August 31, 2005


George Bush desperately wants history to remember him as the Sept. 11 President. In speeches, he sounds like a wartime Bill Murray, who wakes up every morning only to find that it is still 9/11.

That's more or less what the country wanted: a commander in chief who'd worry about the war on terror so we didn't have to. These days, however, Bush doesn't look like a Sept. 11 President at all. With each passing day, he acts more like the last thing the country wanted: an August president, who leaves all the worrying to us.

- saw this at Dohiyi Mir.

"Oh boy! Ice cream!"

Brewing anger over Bush's indifference to the disaster

As nice as it was to have the president visit the state we live in, I believe it would have been OK with us if Mr. Bush had canceled or at least postponed his plans in order to monitor the progress of Hurricane Katrina and to review federal relief plans.

As it is, however, the president decided to visit El Mirage. Life goes on. He spoke briefly about the hurricane, promising disaster relief. Then, after urging Americans to pray for those most affected by the storm, Bush said, "I also want to talk about immigration." I've got a feeling that historians looking back on this day will not describe that transition as a particularly shining presidential moment.

– the Arizona Republic

But this seems like the wrong moment to dwell on fault-finding, or even to point out that it took what may become the worst natural disaster in American history to pry President Bush out of his vacation.

– the NY Times.

Jack Cafferty: Where's President Bush? Is he still on vacation?

Wolf Blitzer: He's cut short his vacation. He's coming back to Washington tomorrow.

Cafferty: Oh, that would be a good idea. He was out in San Diego I think at a Naval air station giving a speech on Japan and the war in Iraq today. Based on his approval rating, based on the latest polls, my guess is getting back to work might not be a terrible idea.

- on CNN’s The Situation Room yesterday (thanks to AmericaBlog).

VP and compassionate conservative Dick “dick” Cheney is still holed up in his Wyoming bunker. And where the hey are the Democrats???

"Resolvitude! Heh heh."

Pic from our buddy Spade Hammer.

President to do job, film at 11
On his way back to Washington today, Bush had Air Force One fly low over New Orleans and Mississippi, surveying the damage from a couch on the plane.

A spokesman said that the aides with Bush were pointing out various sights and that Smirky McGameBoy was hearing commentary on what he was seeing.

Among other things, the president saw an amusement park with the tops of wrecked rides protruding over bridges covered by water (actual sentence in the article).

"No!!! Not the 'musement park!!!"

Preznit Accountability blames Carter, Reagan, Clinton for 9/11

As his poll numbers sink, Bush is getting desperate. From his address [yesterday] in San Diego:
”They looked at our response after the hostage crisis in Iran, the bombings of the Marine barracks in Lebanon, the first World Trade Center attack, the killing of American soldiers in Somalia, the destruction of two U.S. embassies in Africa, and the attack on the USS Cole. They concluded that free societies lack the courage and character to defend themselves against a determined enemy.”
Conveniently, Bush doesn’t mention any terrorist attack that occurred during his father’s administration.

- from ThinkProgress.

I bet they also looked at how Bunnypants continued farting off on his summer vacation even after he received the PDB entitled Bin Laden Determined to Attack Inside the US.


Pic from the Pensito Review.

Bush: vacation ruined by 'stupid dead soldier'
"An' don't get me started on them hurricane victims," he warns.

Bush addressed Mrs. Sheehan, who was not present, by saying "a mother should not have to bury her son this way, by which I mean allowing her son's death to destroy his commander-in-chief's one chance to relax and unwind."

Bush added: "I'm more exhausted today than I was when I started this vacation."

- from The Onion, but it could still be true.

As people struggle to survive and start picking up the pieces in the terrible aftermath of one of the worst natural disasters ever, President Partygame goes to a birfday party for formerly-respected Arizona Senator John "piglet" McCain in Glendale, Arizona.
REUTERS/Jeff Mitchell.

August 30, 2005

All hat and four or five cattle
Bunnypants, World's Widdlest coWpoke, has more Secret Service agents than cows on his Texas estate, the Lazy W.

Fun fact: those cows? They're not even his.

W: "Mommy! Whaz that big fuzzy thing over there?!"
Laura: "Jebus Christmas... it's a fucking COW, Georgie. Now pass me the thermos of gin and tonic. Asshat."


Harpy skank loses another outlet for her rabid, putrescent hatefulness
From the Arizona Daily Star: "Finally, we've decided that syndicated columnist [and virulent ho-bag m]Ann Coulter has worn out her welcome. Many readers find her shrill, bombastic and mean-spirited. And those are the words used by readers who identified themselves as conservatives...."

- Mwwwaaaa! Via Crooks and Liars.

"Ms" Coulter

Workin' with our allies
"The hundreds of deletions and insertions represent a helpfully annotated map to Washington's disagreements with most of the rest of the world on just about every global issue imaginable."

Leaked US draft on UN changes: "respect for nature" removed, protection for soverign nations gone, corporate responsibility deleted, addressing climate change crossed off, AIDS help lowered, use of force as a last resort flushed down the UN crapper.

Glorious leader.

The Bush ecomnitude
Making the pie higher...

The nation's poverty rate rose to 12.7 percent of the population last year, the fourth consecutive annual increase, the Census Bureau said Tuesday.


Saw some very cool-looking waterspouts off to the west of us this morning. Either that, or they were really scrinched-up funnel clouds. Difficulty: we're nowhere near very much water.

Not the one I saw.

Oh boy!
What a guy...

This just in: Preznit PlayStation is cutting short his vacation to return to Washington on Wednesday, instead of on Friday as originally planned.

Bein' prezdint is hard work!

August 29, 2005

Noble cause
The evolving rationale for the Iraq war:

  • 9/11
  • WMD
  • Liberate oppressed Iraqis
  • Democracy in the Middle East
  • So the deaths will not have been in vain

    At the rate things are going, here are a few more we might see from the misadministration:
  • "Saddam took a shot at mah daddy!"

  • Because tan guys with handlebar mustaches always look like they're up to something.

  • Saddam owed me $14 and about a dozen cups of sugar.

  • Their student loans were due.

  • Jesus just ain't gonna walk in there

  • My hard drive with all my porn was confiscated due to the Patriot Act. That dust-bin owes me!

  • We told them to turn that damned stereo down, but they didn't listen.

  • Saddam ran over my cat and knocked up my sister.

  • Because the President can't pronounce "Uzbekistan".

  • Hussein was a truly bad neighbor. Loud music at all times of the night, he let his kids run around the place doing whatever they wanted, and he hadn't mowed his yard in like 6 years. Something had to be done!

  • Because they stole my f**king clamcakes!

  • Uday borrowed Ikari Warriors II: Victory Road from me in 1988 and I never f*cking saw it again.

  • Yam violations.

  • Because someone from the Clinton administration took the "N" off the typewriter, so they HAD to attack Iraq instead of Iran.

  • Because he gassed his own people.

  • Because Junior needed to prove he had a bigger penis than his daddy.

  • Because all those brown people just weren't going to kill themselves.

  • 'Cause of 9/11. I mean, if Saddam didn't ACTUALLY do anything to make it happen, he at least wanted to, or was happy when it happened. And we really just can't let that stand, can we?

  • Because the Middle East wasn't unstable enough...

  • Because George W. Bush thinks that's where spinach comes from, and he hates spinach.

  • Because geopolitical stability is overrated.

  • Because it was time to demoralize the military by giving them abstract, unattainable, and ever-changing goals.
    (Via Fark).

  • Like the people there aren't in enough pain right now
    Useless POS Fox News' plasticine-like 'reporter' Shepard Smith gets cursed out by New Orleans resident during Hurricane Katrina.


    From Crawford.
    - Ironic Times.

    Lower 9th Ward of New Orleans, on east side of city, under 5 to 6 feet of water after pumps fail, mayor says. 'Total structural failure' of city reported...

    New Orleans drowns, oil leaps over 70 - yes, seventy - #ucking dollars a barrel, Bush continues to play windshield cowboy on his summer vacation after using time to ostensibly speak about the hurricane as a commercial for Iraq.

    Fun fact: Louisiana's National Guard troops are watching Hurricane Katrina - from Iraq.

    August 28, 2005

    Dumbasses: fretards attack each other in Crawford.


    Cats in sinks.

    What?! I could be in a sink right now?! Cool... Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    Uniting the world - against us

    Bush to face fury over UN changes demanded by no-talent assclown John Bolton, whom nobody outside of the preznit's inner circle wanted at the position anyway.

    What a terrific letter - there may be some hope after all -

    I stumbled across WTF IS IT NOW?!? and I have to tell you, I was riveted. The excess found here is exactly what’s called for in neutralizing the other-worldly level of aberration emanating from those in the un-know in DeeCee. I am a 55-year old Republican voting WASP male who has had his head refurbished these last four years watching The National Shame go through his paces. At first I thought it was just me, but now I see a lot of folks have taken notice that W is a stark raving lunatic. I welcome consensus, but I’m a bit unnerved by the general agreement.

    Thanks for a great place to visit, I’m sharing it with everyone who has a shred of conscience left.

    WD, Houston

    A toast to you, sir. Thank you.
    Restoring dignity to the WH indeed. "No one died when Clinton lied."


    Call the Wahhhhhhhambulance!
    Mitt backs war, but his boys are safe at home

    Massachusetts gov and Bushkisser Mitt Romney had a hissyfit when he was asked why his sons haven't enlisted.

    "I don't think you should be so 'rah-rah' for a war that you aren't willing to send your own family members to," said one patriotic citizen, who already has a family member stationed in Iraq. "God, what a pud."


    Shari asks how Milo's litter mates are doing - they're doing well, thanks! In fact, it's almost time to bring them to the vet for the big snip.

    Milo and Effie. The two orangies are living outside in the cat igloo on the back deck with mom and the aunts because they were a little too curious about my zebra finches.

    Sheehan's question deserves answer
    "I want to ask George Bush: Why did my son die?" - Cindy Sheehan.

    Sheehan will get her wish to meet with The Cowardly Liar the day winged donkeys fly out of my ass.

    In part this is because the president is famously intolerant of criticism and notoriously fumble-tongued when working without a script, so his handlers would rather chew glass than send him out to confront an angry protester who knows exactly what she believes and why. It is also because no president can afford to be seen as having been bullied into doing something. So Sheehan's vigil near the president's Crawford, Texas, ranch is likely to continue until the end of Bush's extended vacation without reaching resolution.

    Unless you count embarrassing a president who badly needed embarrassing. In which case, Sheehan's demand for a meeting has already been a smashing success.

    - from the Buffalo News/Miami Herald opinion page.


    Somebody at the WaComPo is awake. Sorta.

    [I]t is dispiriting, and damaging to the chances for success, that [President Lying WarMonkey] still refuses to speak honestly to the country about the challenges the United States now faces, or how he intends to address them. In two major speeches on national security this week, Mr. Bush simply repeated the misleading description of Iraq he offered during his national television address in June, conflating the war with the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, and describing the enemy as terrorists akin to al Qaeda.

    You're still gonna need this.

    The Vietnamization of Bush's vacation
    Boy, is Frank Rich pissed.


    August 27, 2005

    Bush's obscene tirades rattle White House aides
    Jebus, is this for real??!

    While President George W. Bush travels around the country in a last-ditch effort to sell his Iraq war, White House aides scramble frantically behind the scenes to hide the dark mood of an increasingly angry leader who unleashes obscenity-filled outbursts at anyone who dares disagree with him.

    I’m not meeting with that goddamned bitch,” Bush screamed at aides who suggested he meet with Cindy Sheehan, the war-protesting mother whose son died in Iraq. “She can go to hell as far as I’m concerned!”

    Bush, administration aides confide, frequently explodes into tirades over those who protest the war, calling them “motherfucking traitors.” He reportedly was so upset over Veterans of Foreign Wars members who wore “bullshit protectors” over their ears during his speech to their annual convention that he told aides to “tell those VFW assholes that I’ll never speak to them again is they can’t keep their members under control.”

    - more here (via BartCop).

    Childish, brainless idiot and leader of the free world.

    My son died for nothing

    Come out, come out, George Bush.

    Come out from behind the concertina wire and your phalanx of security thugs.

    You ran away from the Texas National Guard and now you’re running away from a wretched 48-year-old woman.

    Come out of your bubble world and see the misery you’ve caused, you chicken-hearted phony.

    - Mike Whitney, via Easy Bake Coven.


    Bunnypants' daily intelligence briefing revamped
    Four years after 9/11.

    Will be performed by puppets, and will include cookies ‘n’ milk, nap time, petting zoo of small barnyard animals.


    Moral values
    Won’t somebody think of the children?

    The public relations firm pushing sanctimonious noodlehead Rick Santorum’s book on the family also promoted bogus, lurid sex tales, and represented Paula Jones when she posed for Penthouse, Raw Story reports.

    Petty and ridiculous
    Obnoxious dickhead can dish it out but can’t take it, the little coward.

    [No-talent assclown] John Bolton had a reception at the U.N. ambassador's private residence in the penthouse at the Waldorf Astoria last night. The Washington Times, Fox News, and various other conservatives were invited, but some of the people who weren't included Colum Lynch from the Washington Post and Warren Hoge from the New York Times, both of whom cover the U.N. for their respective papers.

    If you thought the Bush administration’s cowardice about facing anyone not completely on board was confined to Crawford and the campaign trail, think again.

    - Arianna.

    Gawd, what a pud. And to make matters worse, that bullying imbecile has a freaking penthouse in the Waldorf Astoria???? And guess who’s paying for it!


    Noble cause
    Bush's Iraqi "fig leaf" PR constitution-sham headed for civil war*

    Shiites and Kurds have halted charter talks, a heavy blow for the Bush misadministration, which had expended enormous energy and political capital to forge a constitution that included the Sunnis.

    Under the constitution now completed, Islam will reign as the official state religion and as a main source of Iraqi law. Clerics will in all likelihood have seats on the Supreme Court, where they will be empowered to examine legislation to make sure it does not conflict with Islam. They will be given an opportunity to apply Islamic law in family disputes over matters like divorce and inheritance.

    Those provisions have raised concerns here, especially among Iraqi women and secular leaders, who fear that they are laying the groundwork for a full-blown Islamic state.

    OK. So they lied about wmd, ties to September 11th, they've killed more people than Saddam did, are responsible for greatly increasing the number of terrorists, and for creating another Islamic fundamentalist state. WTF???

    “Poopies. Kin ah go ride muh bike now?”


    August 26, 2005

    F*ck you
    The NYPD, NYFD, and the rest of NYC if not the entire country should berate and publicly condemn this utterly despicable, hate-filled deranged flaming, odious POS.

    Die, bitch.

    Makin' progress in our noble cause
    Democracy's on the march!

  • Sham Iraq constitution will not “honor troops’ sacrifice”
  • Political violence surges in Iraq
  • Christians, women and minorities in Iraq now live under fear of death
  • Gunmen kill 8 of the Iraq president's bodyguards
  • Constitution talks in Iraq reportedly at end of line and about to be deep-sixed

    Seen at BartCop.
  • Friday prat blogging

    "The truth is that the ACLU [which is demanding the release of all Abu Ghraib photographs] and its "friends" don't care if they help the jihadists and don't know how to defeat the enemy. Those who are demanding more abuse pictures are not supporting the troops and are not looking out for everyday Americans. They are putting our fighting people and U.S. civilians in even more danger."

    - falafel abuser and stalker Bill O'Reilly.

    Pic by Seufzer.

    Around blogtopia

  • Another reason to love Jon Stewart:
    "And his scorching critique of television on CNN's Crossfire last fall was so dead-on that the network's president cited Stewart's indictment when he canceled the show in January."

    - thanks to Chapel Perilous.

  • Keith Olbermann interviews Specialist Jeans Cruz, one of the two soldiers who hauled Saddam Hussein out of hiding:
    CRUZ: To be honest, it is time to pull out now. As you said, no one needs to die for others who have died. Everybody has their sacrifices. And we do not need to sacrifice more people. We know what everybody else has sacrificed, and we have to praise that right now.

    OLBERMANN: So pulling out at this point, to you, would not be diminishing their memories in any way?

    CRUZ: No. Actually, it would be showing that, you know, it‘s time to pull out, giving them concerns to families and showing respect, actually, for my concern.

    - via Blah3.

  • Enemies of freedom: Why does the American Legion hate America?

  • Bohemian Mama creates a new definition for sending somebody to kingdom come.

  • Planning a trip? Pen-Elayne helpfully posts a link to the Universal Packing List Generator,

  • Having the in-laws over? The Biomes Blog recommends a nice Insect cheese dip.

  • Jon Stewart reviews Bush's Iraq talking points

    STEWART: (Bush) has developed a sophisticated exit strategy ... for getting out of questions about the war. It's a strategy known as repetition, or "repetition." It's one he'd used with great success many times before.

    "But Jon," you ask, "how does it work?"

    The first step is to let people know you're aware of their questions. Then the president can reduce these nuanced concerns into a simplistic misguided concern that he can easily refute.

    BUSH MONTAGE: I also know there's a lot of folks here in the United States that are, you know, wondering about troop withdrawals ... I also have heard the voices of those saying: "pull out now" ... Immediate withdrawal from Iraq would be a mistake.

    STEWART: See? He knows the concerns that make you look like a pussy. So staying the course in Iraq is the plan. But what about all the violence and chaos we see? Pah! It's not match for a simple eight-letter word. See if you can pick out the one he uses:

    BUSH MONTAGE: I am pleased with the progress being made ... we're making progress ... a lot of progress ... I'm please with the progress ... progress ... progress ... Oh I know it's hard for some Americans to see that ...

    STEWART: But? BUSH: ... we are making progress.

    STEWART: Yes!

    So we're doing the right thing and we're making good progress. So, I guess that means, uh, if I hear you correctly -- we're doing the right thing and we're making good progress -- that soon we'll be able to talk about concrete troop withdrawal?

    BUSH MONTAGE: Why would you say to the enemy, you know, here's the timetable ... it makes no sense ... it doesn't make any sense to have a timetable ... an artificial timetable ... there aren't any timetables ... I'm not giving timetables ...

    STEWART: One little timetable? No timetables!

    Now here's why staying on message with your talking points is difficult: Back when the war began, the talking points for the president centered on weapons of mass destruction. Really drilled that into our heads actually -- it was quite a lot of talk. That doesn't seem to come up so much anymore. But you just know some nasty reporter's always going to ask. So the key for your new war rationale talking point is: delivering them as though the person who asked is retarded:

    BUSH MONTAGE: We're defeating them there so we do not have to face them here ... our immediate strategy is to eliminate terrorist threats abroad ... we're fighting the enemy in Iraq ... fighting them in Iraq ... to defeat the terrorists abroad ... so we don't have to face them here at home ... where we live ...

    STEWART: (Sarcastically) Duh!

    Of course, sometimes, no matter how good your talking points, no matter how many times you repeat them, there are still some dissenters and non-believers. If there only was some way you could shut these remaining people up with some kind of emotional bludgeon:

    BUSH MONTAGE: The war arrived on our shores on September the 11th, 2001 ... September the 11th ... September the 11th I made a commitment to the American people ... from September the 11th ... the lesson of September the 11th, 2001 ...

    STEWART: You know, if I had a nickel for every time Bush has mentioned 9/11, I could raise enough reward money to go after Bin Laden!

    And there you go, talking points. Simple! Catchy!

    - via David, at JABBS.

    Our hero.

    Friday cat blogging

    Milo. Boy, he's getting big.

    TIME magazine tried to influence the 2004 election in Bush's favor
    Well, this certainly is disgusting. Why do I subscribe again?

    If Time magazine had gone public about Karl Rove’s conversations with Matt Cooper. it might have had some impact on the Bush-Kerry race for the White House last year - but Time editors were concerned about "becoming part of such an explosive story" during an election. The result was that Cooper's testimony was delayed nearly a year, well after Bush's reelection.

    Thanks for nothing, whores. Goodbye.

    - reported by Salon and AmericaBlog.



    A mother who lost a son in Iraq wants to know why her son died.

    The president, who has been playing with his bicycle and the rest of his toys, has no answer.
    .- Heh. From The Plain Dealer opinion page.


    Intelligent design
    Alabama man mistakes military flares for second coming of Jesus.


    Hedgehog babies! Somebody else's, unfortunately.

    Whom would Jesus whack?
    “Moral values” misadministration silent on Pat Robertson's call for assassinating a foreign head of state. But blowjobs are an abomination and the height of iniquity.

    Nor was it surprising that the forces of the right-wing morality police were silent or unavailable. The Christian Coalition, the Family Research Council and the Traditional Values Coalition saved their anger for those opposing Supreme Court nominee John Roberts. Even Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, while disagreeing, said, "Private citizens say all kinds of things all the time."

    But this private citizen meets with the president…

    - from an editorial in the Palm Beach Post.


    August 25, 2005

    Bush denies he's on vacation
    Does not comment on his vacation from reality.

    His excuses so far:
    "Ah need a month off!" - No. Sounds French.

    "Ah'm still workin', Ah'm just doing it from the ranch instead of from Washington! It's a workin' vacashun!" - Ummm, no good. American public erupts in laughter.

    “Ah’ve got a life tuh live!” - Whoa. Mistake. Way too callous. American public shocked, dismayed and disgusted.

    "They made me come here! They're renovatin' the White House!” - :: crickets ::

    For his grade school essay on What I Did This Summer, maybe [Bunnypants] should write one on how he turned a middle eastern secular state into an Islamic Theocracy.
    - Jesus Christ God of War

    I’d be wary of any announcement of renovation. The last time Bush took the month of August off, the Pentagon and WTC were renovated.
    - cynical ex-hippie

    "It's hard work!"

    aWol's new Iraq push: editorials say don't bother
    "So long as I am president, we will stay, and we will fight, and we will win the war on terror.” - Bush at a recent photo-op at a VFW hall.

    Note: "we" = your sons and daughters, since he’ll be on his summer vacation in Crawford.

    In an address that repeatedly invoked Sept. 11 -- the day that terrorists who had no discernable connection whatsoever to Iraq attacked targets on American soil -- Mr. Bush offered a new reason for staying the course: to keep faith with the men and women who have already died in the war. It was, as the mother of one fallen National Guardsman said, an argument that 'makes no sense.'

    No one wants young men and women to die just because others have already made the ultimate sacrifice. The families of the dead do not want that, any more than they want to see more soldiers die because politicians cannot bear to admit that they sent American forces to war by mistake."

    - more here.

    Seen at BartCop.

    Panda baby pic from Yahoo News this morning.


    Bob explains why Bush truly is that stupid.

    Ran replies to yesterday's story of Wolf Blitzer's interview with RNC droid Greg Mueller: "if I remember correctly, Reagan's answer to the Marine attack in Beirut in 1983 was to pull out of Beirut (retreat and and surrender) and attack Grenada. Just think if there was someone.. I don't know, maybe a journalist on that show.. this could have been brought up."