April 30, 2004

Middle-finger news
Tisbury, Massachusetts, this week became the 300th government to denounce the Patriot Act, even as Il Ducebag was campaigning Congress to make the Act permanent before its expiration next year.

Nancy Reagan just says no to idea of Saint Ronald of Reagan U.

A Hamas suicide bomber blew up two armed Palestinians who tried to rob him at gun point in the Gaza Strip (thanks to our friends at AMCGLTD.com!).

Reasons to be cheerful
Though still in the early talking stages, hero/patriot Howard Dean is mulling over the idea of hosting his own syndicated talk show.

A group of students at Florida State University is demanding that FSU's president ask Dirty Dick Cheney not to attack John Kerry or make a "political diatribe" aimed only at "scoring points in the presidential campaign" Saturday when he delivers the school's commencement address.

By popular demand
Two congressional idiots on irrelevant committee walk out during the pResident's meaningless, unhelpful testimony citing prior, unimportant engagements.

Whatever it takes
If only Osama Bin Laden smoked Cuban cigars - than maybe the Treasury Department would make more of an effort to track Al Qaida's finances.

Supporting the troops
It's bad enough that over 700 are dead. What's worse is that the Pentagon's No. 2 man forgot about 222 of them.

Gee, maybe having some kind of memorial program on TV would refresh his memory...

The inanity of the press corpse
George Bush can’t answer questions about 9/11. But John Kerry doesn’t make his own sandwiches! The Daily Howler nails the vacuous, pampered assclowns that are the mainstream media.

The Fallen
Fallout on the BFEE Sinclair Broadcasting/Nightline controversy:

"The Nightline broadcast is an expression of respect which simply seeks to honor those who have laid down their lives for this country."

'Some of the stations have received many calls and e-mails in response to Sinclair's decision. "I have not gotten one positive response," said an assignment desk editor at WSYX, the ABC station in Columbus, Ohio.'

Update: John McCain has issued a letter today to the president and CEO of Sinclair Broadcasting, protesting their decision to preempt the program: "I find deeply offensive Sinclair's objection to Nightline's intention to broadcast the names and photographs of Americans who gave their lives in service to our country in Iraq..."

Cheney staff accused of role in CIA leak
Well duh. We knew that. What we still don't know is the name.

Tricky Dick Cheney 'was aware of a meeting held by his staff that started a chain of events that ended with the "effective betrayal of our country," former US diplomat Joseph Wilson charged Thursday. Wilson did not accuse Cheney of leaking his wife's identity or of knowing about the leak before it was made. But he said Cheney had to have known that his staff was investigating Wilson in a probe that led to the discovery of his wife's job.'

"Just because he watches Fox News doesn't mean he's completely stupid," Wilson should have said.

Cheney's chief of staff, Scooter Libby, has been named Most Likely to Traitorously Leak the Name of a CIA Agent, along with indicted Iran-Contra criminal and top NSC guy Elliott Abrams and lying, putty-assed svengali Karl Rove.

"The workup on me that turned up the information on Valerie was shared with Karl Rove, who then circulated it in administration and neoconservative circles," Wilson writes.

It would be funny if it wasn't so #ucking sad -

"It's easy to complain about the press - I've been doing it for a good part of my career. It's part of what goes with a free society. What I do is try to focus upon those elements of the press that I think do an effective job and try to be accurate in their portrayal of events. For example, I end up spending a lot of time watching Fox News, because they're more accurate in my experience, in those events that I'm personally involved in, than many of the other outlets." - Dick 'dick' Cheney.
And it's like getting a continual blowjob!

"Stroke me, stroke me..."

April 29, 2004

"The issue of Kerry's military service has spawned a number of recent news-like events which have led to Republican charges the decorated war hero has something to hide. Because if there is one thing the Bush administration will not tolerate, it is ... other people's secrecy."

"GOP strategists hope the revelation of Kerry's wealth might debunk his status as a, quote, man of the people, and reveal him to be a bit of a fat cat. Unlike the President who - as we all know - before attending Andover and Yale, was a Cockney matchstick girl dying of tuberculosis." - Jon Stewart.

And another thing...
'Speaking with reporters in the Rose Garden, Bush declined to say what topics the commission focused on during a meeting that lasted over three hours. But he did say the session was cordial:

'"I'm glad I did it. I'm glad I took the time...I enjoyed it."'

Yeah, of course he did, he had Dick's hand up his ass the whole time. I mean for God's sake, what kind of numb putz enjoys testifying before a committee to investigate one of the worst, most tragic fuckups of all time???


Why do they hate America?
Sinclair Broadcasting has ordered its affiliates NOT to run Nightline's tribute to the fallen US troops, saying the move is politically motivated.

'"Despite the denials by a spokeswoman for the show, the action appears to be motivated by a political agenda designed to undermine the efforts of the United States in Iraq,'' the company said in a faxed statement. Sinclair, which owns 62 U.S. television stations, said ABC is disguising political statements as news content.'

Fun fact: 'TV Barn's Mark Jeffries calls Sinclair the "Clear Channel of local news," a reference to the San Antonio, Texas, media giant that has grown from 40 to more than 1,200 stations today thanks to the 1996 Telecommunications Act, which relaxed radio ownership rules. But the parallels extend beyond their growth strategies. Jeffries describes Sinclair as having a "fiercely right-wing approach that makes Fox News Channel look like a model of objectivity," while Clear Channel is best known for sponsoring pro-war "Rallies for America" during the Iraq conflict. And like Clear Channel's CEO L. Lowry Mays – a major Republican donor and onetime business associate of George W. Bush – the Sinclair family, board, and executives ply the GOP with big money. Since 1997, they have donated well over $200,000 to Republican candidates.

Dick and his amazing meatpuppet
....spent more than three hours with the 9/11 panel, an' I "answered every question"! Bunnypants told CNN.

Bush said it was important for he and Cheney to appear together so that commission members could "see our body language... how we work together." You know, so the panel could see with their own eyes that Cheney's hand wasn't lubed up to the elbow.

Bush brushed off a question from a reporter on whether 9/11 families were entitled to a transcript of the session.

"You asked me that question yesterday," Bush replied. "I got the same answer."

Ummmmm, it's no.

Bush & Cheney before the 9/11 commission
mellowinman from the BC forum obtained a portion of the transcript:

Ben Veniste: Mr. Bush...

Bush: Who you talkin' to?

Ben Veniste: Ah, I'm sorry, Mr. President, why did the chicken cross the road?

Bush: To find the evildoer.

Ben Veniste: And where did he find the evildoer?

Bush: On the other side of the road?

Ben Veniste: Which road?

Cheney: The chicken in question was crossing the Al-Adoobidoobidoo highway, South of Baghdad, where a number of Al Qaeda were meeting with the Republican Guard to create Weapons of Mass Destruction.

Bush: Them Republican Guards is our guys.

Cheney: Shut up! Shut UP!

Ben Veniste: Is that true? Saddam's personal bodyguards and elite fighting force worked for the United States Government?

Cheney: Don't be ridiculous. Sometimes George...

Bush: Ah, that's "Mr. President..."

Cheney: Sometimes Mr. President has trouble distinguishing the different types of Republicans.

Ben Veniste: Well, what are the different types of Republicans?

Bush: You didn't say, "Mr. President..."

Ben Veniste: I was asking Mr. Cheney.

Cheney: That's "Mr. Vice President."

Ben Veniste: No it isn't. Now, what are the different types of Republicans?

Bush: I know this one!

Cheney: Shut up!

Bush: You didn't say...

Cheney: Shut UP Mr. President! There are over thirty five seperate types of Republicans, but the main sub groups are the Halliburton, the Enron, and the TV Newsmen. The TV Newsmen have been carefully trained, and used to be called the Democrats, back in the 19th Century. The Enrons are the Campaign donors, but that doesn't mean all the campaign donors are Enrons. Saddam's Republicans were actually enemy forces, until we got rid of Saddam, and now they work for us. Any fool can see...

Bush: I can't see...

Cheney: I said, any fool can see that we need the most elite of the elite Republicans to guard the oil, and that's why...

Bush: THAT'S why they're called the Republican Guard!

Ben Veniste: Now, I think you two are fillibustering...

Bush: No we're not. We're just trying to use up our time. Is an hour up already?

Ben Veniste: No. You've only been before the panel for five minutes.

Bush: You didn't call me "Mr. President."

Senator Lautenberg's Illustrated Guide to Chickenhawks is now on video!

From the questionable to the ridiculous

The strangest of the president's conditions is that he will testify only in concert with Vice President Dick Cheney. The White House has given no sensible reason for why Mr. Bush is unwilling to appear alone.

Given the White House's concern for portraying Mr. Bush as a strong leader, it's remarkable that this critical appearance is being structured in a way that is certain to provide fodder for late-night comedians, who enjoy depicting him as the docile puppet of his vice president. ....

If Mr. Bush or any of his successors have the tragic misfortune to be in command at a time when terrorists strike the country, killing thousands of innocent civilians, they should be expected to cooperate with the official investigations, and to do so in a way that puts their statements on the record and into history.

- from an opinion piece in the NY Times.

"Quack quack"*
Duck hunting trip pays off for Tricky Dick Cheney.

'Supreme' Court 'justices' appeared to take the Dick in the case regarding Cheney's secret energy task force, whose members may have included 'oil industry lobbyists and prominent corporate executives' such as the BFEE and Enron's Kenny-boy Lay.

"I think executive privilege means whenever the president feels that he is threatened, he can simply refuse to comply with a court order," Bush crony Fat Tony Scalia said.

The official 'decision' in the case is expected by late June.

*Scalia, 2/10/04, responding to critics of his hunting date with Dick.

Nixon's ethical heirs
'When Kerry was fighting in Vietnam, and then fighting to change a disastrous policy at home, Bush had become the invisible man to his fellow aviators in the National Guard; Dick Cheney had, by his own admission, "other priorities" than the war and picked up four {Actually five} separate draft deferments, and junior exterminator Tom DeLay was risking life and limb in a daily battle against termites.' - Harold Meyerson.

Democrats to Kerry: Jebus, stop being such a #ucking pussy
"Bring it on; that’s the John Kerry we want to see.”

Then they show him how it's done:

“I think it was worse than McCarthy[ism]. McCarthy was mentally ill. This guy [Cheney] is sane, but the smirk on his face really bothered me.” - Rep. Bob Matsui.

“As far as we know, Senator Kerry got three Purple Hearts for risking his life in Vietnam, and pResident Bush got a dental examination in Alabama.” - House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi.

"When those who didn't serve attack the heroism of those who did, I find it particularly offensive. We know who the chicken hawks are. They talk tough on national defense and military issues and cast aspersions on others. When it was their turn to serve where were they? AWOL, that's where they were...The lead chickenhawk against Sen. Kerry [is] the vice president of the United States, Vice President Cheney. He was in Missouri this week claiming that Sen. Kerry was not up to the job of protecting this nation. What nerve. Where was Dick Cheney when that war was going on?" - Sen. Frank Lautenberg, from the Senate floor yesterday.

Max Cleland lets WH whore Wolf Blitzer have it with both barrels:

Wolf: Your friend, Senator McCain, a Republican, also a Vietnam veteran, says you know what? Let's have a cease-fire on this whole debate. It's ugly. It's history. What the president did during his service in the Texas Air National Guard, what the Democratic candidate did after he returned from Vietnam, let's move on. Is that sound advice from Senator McCain?

Former Senator Max Cleland: I think it's sound advice. And like I say, he ought to know because they came after him first. They came after me secondly and they are going after John Kerry third. This is ridiculous.

We ought to be talking about just like John McCain said, the kids that are dying in Iraq. Are they dying from weapons of mass destruction? No. There are none there. Are they dying for a nuclear weapons program that Dick Cheney said a couple of years ago were there? No. Are they dying for connections with al Qaeda and Osama bin Laden? No.

What are they dying for, oil? I don't know. We have got 730, 740 kids out there dead now and about 3,600 wounded and 13,000 evacuated from the theater and more killed today. Now, the question is, why? Now, this president did not go to Vietnam. He didn't learn the lesson that, in this country, you take this country to war only when you have to, as John Kerry says, not when you want to. And finally you go to war with your allies so there's somebody to help you pick up the pieces afterwards.

Wolf: But are you now bringing up the president's decision not to volunteer to go serve in Vietnam as an issue that should be front and center in this campaign?

Senator Cleland: Absolutely. If you going to be commander and chief and you are going to start a war and you are going to start a war on false pretenses with false evidence, you are accountable.

Operation Fubar: making progress

  • Car bomb kills eight US troops south of Baghdad.
  • Total killed so far today: 10.
  • More US troops killed in April than in "major combat" in Iraq
  • 722
  • US rushes armor to Iraq, Fallujah siege rumbles on
  • Didn't Bush say we had to go to war to stop Saddam from doing things like this? US Army torturing Iraqi prisoners
  • War crimes in Fallujah "on a scale unprecedented for this war"
  • Bush's approval rating at all-time low
  • Poll: Iraqis split over whether Iraq is better off
  • US support for Iraq war is waning
  • Congress prepares for new Iraq spending
  • Former Saddam Hussein loyalists will now fight current Saddam Hussein loyalists

  • April 28, 2004

    Bonzo goes to college
    Supporters have begun raising money for the Ronald Reagan University, to be built in Colorado. Officials plan to admit only applicants with SAT scores of 1400 or above, which, ironically, will shut out most conservatives.

    Bite me
    US intelligence and law enforcement officials might be starting to track blogs.

    Former US intelligence officer Robert Steele said "absolutely" that blogs are valid sources of intelligence and news, though he said authenticating the information in blogs "leaves a lot to be desired."

    Middle-finger news
    From CNN: Ted Koppel will devote the entire half-hour of Nightline Friday to reading names and showing photographs of the more than 500 US servicemen and women killed in action in Iraq, ABC announced Wednesday. ABC News will simulcast the program live on its Jumbotron screen in Times Square, and ABC News Radio will air excerpts, the network said.

    An Iranian court has ruled the United States should pay $600 million in compensation for supplying ousted Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein with chemical weapons.

    Thanks to Atrios, we find out that Karen Hughes is French.

    A sterling record
    'After risking his life in Vietnam to save others, John Kerry earned the right to speak out against a war he believed was wrong.'

    I believe those who didn't serve, or didn't show up for service, should just shut the fuck u {Sorry - ed.} have the decency to respect those who did serve — often under the most dangerous conditions, with bravery and, yes, with undeniable patriotism.
    - hero/patriot Wesley Clark.

    We rejoin the Scott McClellan asspounding, already in progress.

    Q: Okay. Regarding Kerry, there's been much that has been made about whether or not he has thrown away his ribbons, his medals, or pretended to, or whatever. Kerry says it's a smear campaign. He also says that it's a phony controversy. But he goes beyond that, and he says that this comes from a President who can't even show or prove that he showed up for duty in the National Guard. Your response?

    Scott: I think you're asking to get into political attacks by Senator Kerry. {Ed: excuse me??} This is the latest political attack. And I think that those questions are best directed to the campaign.

    Q: But his campaign manager says that there is no place, really, to even look at his record or even what happened after his record, because --

    Scott: Well, Suzanne, no one is --

    Q: -- Bush and Cheney did not serve in Vietnam. Do you think that's fair?

    Scott: gah!

    Overture, curtain, lights
    Dick 'n' Bunnypants rehearse their lines

    Flash cards, hand signals, and hypnosis are all being considered as Unca Dick is busily trying to prep pReznit Poopypants for their joint appearance this week before the commission investigating the 9/11 terrorist attacks.

    White House spokes-hamster Scott McClellan denied that they're appearing together to 'get the story straight'.

    The behind-closed-doors meeting is expected to start at 9:30 a.m. on Thursday. Neither will be under oath. At the request of the White House, the interview will not be taped or aired, and no transcript will be produced.

    Q: Scott, did the White House request there not be any transcribers -- any recording or stenographers in the meeting, in the 9/11 Commission hearing?

    Scott: I think that was a request -- I checked on that -- that we discussed with the commission, and they were fine with it.

    Q: And what is the advantage that you see in that? This is a very historic meeting.

    Scott: Well, this is a private meeting, first of all, Elisabeth. And let's keep in mind that it is extraordinary for a sitting President of the United States to sit down with the legislatively created commission. But these are unique circumstances and the President is pleased to do so. The President appreciates the job of the September 11th Commission. We strongly support their work. And we have been pleased to provide the commission unprecedented cooperation and unprecedented access to information, so they can do their work and help us better fight and win the war on terrorism.

    Q: Right, if I can just follow up. So if this session is an extraordinary event and such an extraordinary meeting, why do you not want an official record of it?

    Q: Scott, following up to what Elisabeth said, somewhat. Before Dr. Rice testified publicly, President Bush said it was important for the American public to know about the events leading up to 9/11. If that is the case, why not have the President testify publicly, even with a transcript? And why not under oath?

    Scott: Why do you hate America?!?!?

    Operation Fubar: making progress
    US pounds Falluja, fighting continues in Baghdad and Najaf.

    An AC-130, a powerful gunship that can unleash a deluge of ordnance, joined 105mm howitzers in a thunderous show of force that rocked Fallujah Tuesday night.
    "I think that realistically if you've got some very tough people in a city that are terrorists ... that you have to expect that they're not going to be terribly cooperative. Now, does that mean that something can't be worked out? No," Darth Rumsfeld blithely said to reporters.

    "There's sovereignty and then there's authority..." - WH spokes-hamster Scott McClellan (paraphrased).

    The situation not being #ucked up enough, unindicted Iran-Contra criminal John 'human rights' Negroponte, the Bushies' new ambassador to Iraq, suggested that Iraq's "caretaker government" would only be a figurehead, with the US remaining in control of security forces, and the new government not having any authority to pass laws. What idiots. You can imagine how well that went over.
    Mohsen Abdel-Hamid, a Sunni Arab on the Governing Council, said the prospect of the United States retaining some sovereignty is "not acceptable, this is totally rejected."

    If the Americans do not respect agreements on giving complete sovereignty, "then the Iraqi people know what route to take," he said.
    What a complete and utter #uckup.

    Update: There was a new US bombardment of Falluja this morning.

    Iraq situation is worse than any US news outlet will say
    Democrats.com reports: Jamie Wilson, writing in the Guardian, lays out the whole sorry picture of what it really happening in Iraq - as opposed to the US media version -- which focuses on a battle here, a press statement there, a "patriotic human interest story" there.

    A few facts: electricity, water, and sewage are still down in many areas, with summer's heat coming rapidly on; 25% of all contractors have left the country, while 75% are holed up at bases; General Electric and Siemens have temporarily abandoned work on Iraq's vital Daura power plant - which is still unrestored. Meanwhile, the new bombings ordered by Bush are creating NEW reconstruction needs, and more chaos, leading to more reconstruction delays. Says Wilson: "Publicly, the British and US governments are trying to play down the extent of the problems."

    115 so far for this month alone.

    Helen Thomas gets all fallujah on Scott McClellan's ass
    Ms Thomas: Why is Fallujah and Najaf under siege? Why are they - and is the President willing to see them go into a Waco or Guernica?

    Scott: I'm sorry, where are you getting that from, Helen?

    Ms Thomas: That if they are under siege, and we decide to go in, and there is that kind of resistance, there will be tremendous bloodshed.

    Scott: Helen, that is a highly speculative characterization that you are making there.

    Ms Thomas: Well, we do have them under siege, both towns, don't we?

    Scott: And I would not describe it that way. First of all, we have been working very closely with Iraqi officials in those areas to bring about a peaceful resolution to the situation. The coalition has been working to partner with Iraqi security forces to improve the security situation. There are a lot of developments going on, on the ground. Certainly, if coalition forces are fired upon, namely our Marines, in the case of Fallujah, they will defend themselves. Now there are some thugs and terrorists that continue to exist in areas of Fallujah.

    Ms Thomas: -- maybe they're just Iraqis.

    Scott: Helen, all you have to have to do is look at the types of attacks that they carried out on innocent Americans recently to know that these are thugs and terrorists. They have no regard for human life.

    Ms Thomas: Are we doing the same thing?

    Scott: We will not let them prevail. However, as I said, we are working to improve the security situation there. We're working with Iraqi leaders. You're seeing a partnering with Iraqi security forces to begin patrols in Fallujah and to bring about a peaceful resolution to the situation. They've been working with civilian leaders there. But there is a difference between civilian leaders and thugs and terrorists who seek to derail the transition to democracy for the Iraqi people. And they have no place in Iraq.

    Ms Thomas: Maybe they're defending their own country against an occupation.

    Tigger and the new kittens, 4/27/04.

    Dear Karen
    If that really is your name...

    Your friends in the administration have repeatedly stated that our troops are fighting for freedom: to allow people to control their own lives and make their own decisions. Yet this administration and this Congress are working to take away American women's rights to make their own decisions.
    - Gloria Feldt, President, Planned Parenthood Federation of America, Inc.

    Democratic members of Congress joined the Planned Parenthood Federation and the Feminist Majority in calling on reich uberc*nt Karen Hughes to apologize for remarks she made Sunday on CNN, in which she compared pro-choice advocates to Osama-hugging terrorists.

    The lawmakers went a step further and wrote the fascist punk a letter: "Mr. President, you came to office by promising to be 'a uniter, not a divider.' Your aide's comments have the potential to be extremely divisive by invoking the war on terrorism. It is cheap and distasteful politics and we ask you to take a stand against it.''

    Yeah, good luck with that. Thanks for trying, though.

    April 27, 2004

    Dems blast Bush military record
    From AFP: Democrats launched an assault on George W. Bush's military record, suggesting it was marked by privileged treatment and unanswered questions while their challenger John Kerry fought in Vietnam.

    The Democratic campaign issued a list of questions on Bush's record in the Texas Air National Guard a day after Kerry exploded at Republican jibes over his Vietnam war decorations and his later anti-war activities. ....

    Among the questions raised: "Bush has said he used no special treatment to get into the Guard. How does he explain the fact that he jumped ahead of 150 applicants despite low pilot-aptitude scores?"

    "Why did Bush specifically request to not be sent overseas for duty?"

    "Why did Bush miss his medical exam in 1972?"

    "Why is the Pentagon under orders not to discuss Bush's record with reporters?"

    The Democrats also renewed questions about whether Bush shirked duty from May 1972 to May 1973, during which he worked on an unsuccessful US Senate campaign in the state of Alabama and received an early release to attend Harvard Business School.

    And the whole press release from the Kerry campaign is here. Beautiful!

    Iraqis: what are we, chopped liver?
    The US-owned governing council unveils the new Cheney's Loot & Lube national flag. Widespread public disapproval ensues.

    Karen Hughes' high-octane gall
    What did the president do with his medals?

    With amazing chutzpah, the Bush flack says reporters should ask more questions about John Kerry's military history. What they really ought to explore is her role in covering up Bush's spotty National Guard record.
    - Joe Conason.

    Don't let your cowboys grow up to be babies
    Finally, a picture of big Texas cowpoke George W Bush on a horse.

    Vietnam warns of another Vietnam
    Former foe's advice to US: get the #uck out before it's too late

    "No country in the world will accept a foreign invasion." - Tran Nhung, Colonel with great pornstar name.

    Imperialist wars of aggression in which a rich, powerful country meddles in the affairs of a smaller, weaker one whose culture it doesn't understand leads to just one thing: a big stinky quagmire.

    Advice needed
    A coworker just told me that kittens don't open their eyes until they're three weeks old. Is this true? Because if it is, either I have a new species of varmint or I've discovered a distortion in the space-time continuum.

    Democrats question Bush on Sept. 11 funds
    Rep. David Obey grew a set and joined Sen. Robert Byrd on Monday to demand a full accounting of how the Bush misadministration used emergency funds earmarked for the 9/11 aftermath, after allegations in the new Bob Woodward book said $700 million was "diverted" to prepare for the war in Iraq without consulting Congress.

    "Look! John Kerry's medals!"
    /whore media, repukes

    Middle-finger news

    ClearChannel's San Diego station ratings fell from 8.9 to 0.7 after dropping Howard Stern. In related news, every station that still carried Howard had their ratings go up.

    Sales soar for "Idiot President" bag.

    The Politics of Truth: Inside the Lies that Led to War and Betrayed My Wife's CIA Identity, the new book by Ambassador Joseph Wilson, is now available.

    No sense of decency
    "I had other priorities in the '60s than military service." - Dick Cheney, coward.

    Funny, isn't it? When Bill Clinton was running against Republican war veterans in 1992 and 1996, the most important thing to GOP propagandists and politicians was that Clinton didn't fight in Vietnam. Now that Republican candidates who didn't fight in Vietnam face a Democrat who did -- and was awarded the Silver Star, the Bronze Star and three Purple Hearts while he was there -- the Republican machine wants to change the subject.

    -EJ Dionne

    John Kerry Is A Douchebag But I'm Voting For Him Anyway dot com.

    Kerry: prove it, pussy
    After days of letting the war-deserting chickenshit punk manufacture scandals concerning his three Purple Hearts and his anti-war activities, John Kerry has finally put his foot down.

    "If George Bush wants to ask me questions about that through his surrogates, he owes America an explanation about whether or not he showed up for duty in the National Guard. Prove it. That's what we ought to have," Kerry told NBC News in an interview. "I'm not going to stand around and let them play games."

    This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

    If you're pro-choice, you're a terr'ist!

    pResidential nanny and pro-wrestler Karen Hughes, sounding like a brainwashed crackpot in some neonazi religious cult, said that Americans support Bush's efforts to restrict abortion, especially after 9/11, because "the fundamental issue between us and the terror network we fight is that we value every life."

    Gee thanks, Karen. Wave that flag, then stick the damn pole up your ass, you flaming c*nt.

    News quiz for you
    1. How many death row prisoners in Texas bit the big one while W was governor?
    2. How many lives could be saved by stem cell research, which Dumbya opposes?
    3. How many poor kids are dying while W and the rest of your assh*le buddies are walking off with millions in tax refunds?
    4. How many American workers and US troops have died in Iraq?
    5. How many coalition troops?
    6. How many Iraqis?
    7. What the holy #uck makes you think you can speak for me??

    Bonus question
    Did all that peroxide seep into your brain?

    Oh, and bite me.

    No defense for Cheney
    Bathing campaign donors in cash while stiffing the troops

    When Dick criticizes past efforts to cut defense spending, he should be talking about his own. And his record in the present doesn't bear close examination, either.

    Gee, THAT was handy
    Within days after leaving the White House, the executive director of Dick 'Chicanery' Cheney's energy task force, Andrew Lundquist, became a lobbyist "for companies that stood to benefit from the energy policy he helped craft."

    Among Cheney Andy's clients: the State of Alaska, for which he "won the right to run a natural-gas pipeline from Prudhoe Bay in the north down to the Alaskan-Yukon border, and secured a commitment of federal loan guarantees worth $2 billion." Democrats.com reports Lundquist and rethug legislators apparently paved the way by inserting a clause into the energy bill that actually forbid the construction of cheaper and faster pipelines through Canada.

    "You can't touch me! I have the Supreme Court in my hip pocket!"

    College leader 'disappointed' by Cheney

    FULTON, Mo. - Westminster College's president said Monday he was so "surprised and disappointed" by Dick 'dick' Cheney's attacks on John Kerry during a speech there that "in the interest of balance and fairness and integrity" he is inviting Kerry to visit for a reply.

    The right to act as it pleases
    The public has no right to know what the government is doing

    Cheney is defending, in other words, is a doctrine that makes the United States a sort of elected [sic] dictatorship: a system in which the president, once in office, can do whatever he likes, and isn't obliged to consult or inform either Congress or the public.

    - Paul Krugman

    April 26, 2004

    Kerry hits back
    'Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry on Monday rejected questions over his claim to have thrown away his Navy medals in protest of the Vietnam War, contending they came from President Bush and the GOP even though they "can't even answer whether or not he showed up for duty in the National Guard."'

    Yeah, baby!

    It's a show about nothing
    "The people who support Fox News must be the most uncivil and foul-mouthed creatures on the planet. This is an informed opinion. They'd give English soccer hooligans a run for their money." - a writer for the Toronto Globe gets monkey mail when he compares Faux Nooze to Seinfeld.