March 31, 2005

I'm pretty sure this is one of the signs of the Apocalypse
Duct tape plant explodes, 1 killed.


Just STFU already
House Majority Leader/scumbag Tom DeLay, unfortunately not from prison, today commented on Terri Schiavo's death:

"[It] is a moral poverty and a legal tragedy. This loss happened because our legal system did not protect the people who need protection most, and that will change. The time will come for the men responsible for this to answer for their behavior, but not today."
Coincidently, Mr DeLay intends to use this same statement in response to the next editorial listing his many ethical crises.


More assholes in the news
  • World Bank OKs Wolfowitz as new president.

  • WH towelboy and former US secretary of state Colin Powell says he is "furious and angry" about being "misinformed" over Iraq's weapons of mass destruction, actually criticises both Bunnypants and Rumsfeld.

    "You fucked up! You trusted us!"

  • Accountability
    Presidential commission blames everyone but the President for the WH's Iraqi WMD claims.

    Spy agencies that went along with whatever the president and his boss Dick 'dick' Cheney wanted were 'dead wrong' about Saddam's WMD.


    The line that sent mAnn Coulter even more insane
    PeteH at the Bartcop Forum reports:

    'Drudge is reporting that clinically insane whack-job Ann Coulter was interrupted by hecklers during a speaking engagement at KU. But little Mattie is not telling us the whole story. My best friend's daughter is a sophomore at Kansas. She called her dad after the event and he immediately phoned me. Apparently what sent Coulter into a full-bore, spittle-flecked, incoherent rage was being asked, "So, Annie, what's actually larger, your Adam's apple or your dick?" My wife and kids slept through the ringing phone, but my ensuing laughter woke the entire house.'

    The discharge known as "Ms" Coulter.

    Where's Walnutbrain?
    In our new feature, we try to keep tabs on just what the hell Monkey McMoron is up to. Details are sketchy, as his handlers really don't want anyone close to the Snivelling Fuckwit other than their handpicked and brainwashed stooges.

    Today, Little Lord Bunnypants is somewhere in the Midwest, continuing his Bamboozlepalooza tour as soon as he gets woken up, fed and burped.

    Yesterday he tortured the poor taxpayers of Cedar Rapids, Iowa:

    "[I]n America, we understand freedom and we know freedom is not our gift to the world; freedom is the Almighty God's gift to each man and woman in this world. And flying in, I saw a lot of people on tractors. It's a good sign. But it reminded me about what is possible when it comes to reasonable energy policy."
    Sorry, I sort of lost it after that.

    Fun fact: Joining him for his townhall propaganda meetings is the pathetic, de-balled sellout John 'vagina' McCain, who has been thrust in the role of "playing the heavy for the president, sharply accusing Democrats of being obstructionist and shortsighted," according to CBS News.

    Fun fact 2: Though Bush "insists he is making headway on the issue, the lingering skittishness among congressional Republicans — and outright opposition from most Democrats — indicates otherwise."

    Fun fact 3: The Boy King may use executive order to enact his private accounts idea.

    Fun fact 4: The WMD commission's final report has been released. Will the Goober actually take any questions regarding it, or will he "have to go to lunch"?


    Conservative judge blasts Bush, Congress for role in Schiavo case
    One of "the most conservative jurists on the federal bench" delivered a well-deserved cockpunch to Congress and Preznit Droolrag, in the form of a "stinging rebuke ."

    Birch went out of his way to castigate Bush and congressional Republicans for acting "in a manner demonstrably at odds with our Founding Fathers' blueprint for governance of a free people - our Constitution."

    "This is a judge who, through a political or policy lens, falls pretty squarely in the Scalia/Thomas camp," said law professor and constitutional expert David Garrow. "I think it's a sad commentary that there wasn't a voice like his present in the Congress, because he's saying what a Republican constitutional conservative should be saying."

    ... If they weren't such posturing, chickenshit scrotebags!

    A White House spokestool declined to address Birch's decision directly, saying the craven, vacuous meatpuppet in the WH is "saddened by this extraordinary case and continues to support all those who stand up to defend life." Unless that life belongs to a little black baby in Texas.


    Signs of Spring

  • 1 crocus blooming
  • Spring peepers peeping
  • Baby possum at the outdoor cats' food bowl


    This just in:
    Terri Schiavo has passed away.

  • March 30, 2005


    [The rev Jerry] Falwell, who hasn't told the truth in the last 40 years, was admitted to Lynchburg General Hospital shortly before midnight Monday suffering from "respiratory arrest," the hospital said in a statement.

    Falwell's breathing is complicated by the fact that his head is so far up his lying, in-it-for-the-money ass.
    - Bartcop.

    Bonus quotes - from the man o' God himself:

    If you're not a born-again Christian, you're a failure as a human being.

    I had a student ask me, "Could the savior you believe in save Osama bin Laden?" Of course, we know the blood of Jesus Christ can save him, and then he must be executed.

    AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals.

    Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them.

    Billy Graham is the chief servant of Satan.

    The idea that religion and politics don't mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country.

    I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way -- all of them who have tried to secularize America -- I point the finger in their face and say, "You helped this [the terrorist attacks of Tuesday, September 11, 2001] happen."


    Santorum's braindead photo-op
    What a grandstanding jerk.

    Senator/douchebag Rick Santorum, jealous of Jesse Jackson's airtime, showed up at Terri Schiavo's hospice to pray with the Schindler family within camera range.

    The douchebag.

    God smites Jerry Falwell
    The unctuous prig reverend is in critical condition after suffering "respiratory arrest," most likely caused by chronic hypocritical gasbaggery.

    Boy, will he be suprised to find out that the Almighty is a liberal black lesbian...


    From the why do these people still have jobs? department
    This week...

  • Brit "Toadying Embarrassment" Hume: whore. Why doesn't he just tattoo Duhbya's naked ass right onto his nose, for petessake?

  • The National Presstitutes Club: whores that definately need a good clubbing. These useless assclowns threw a party for gay White House hooker/pin-up Jeff Gannon, then paraded him naked on their shoulders while enthusiastically sucking him off.

  • mAnn Coulter: insane, vicious skank-ho. A waste of oxygen, this virulent, disease-raddled harpy has no reason to exist, except as some kind of masturbatory figure for legions of pathetic, mouthbreathing troglodytes.

  • wHoreward "I just wanna see my name in print!" Kurtz: pandering, spreadeagled swallower of rightwing talking points, dick. He brings new meaning to the words "asskissing fuckwit."

  • Dishonorable mention: wHoreward Fineman, Newsweak laughingstock: see above.

  • ***

    Pest control
    Editorials on Tom "Bugshit" DeLay's ethics crisis continue to pile up.

    'Mr. DeLay complained that "the other side" had figured out how "to defeat the conservative movement," by waging personal attacks, linking with liberal organizations and persuading the national news media to report the story. He charged that "the whole syndicate" was "a huge nationwide concerted effort to destroy everything we believe in."'

    Just refer people to the way the right spent FIFTY-THREE MILLION DOLLARS and used the media RUTHLESSLY trying to come up with something illegal Clinton did, and failed.

    - comment at Common Cause.


    Bunnypants sends Mommy-Laura out to defend Schiavo fiasco
    Government was right to have intervened, chirps insipid humanoid.

    "I just feel like the federal government has to be involved," Pickles Stepford said to the stenog press. "It is a life issue that really does require government to be involved."

    Ironically, her comments on the Schiavo case were made aboard a plane bound for Afghanistan, where she was to promote education and women's rights.


    Dammit. Blogger's busted again. We'll be going back and forth to the emergency back-up blog. Sorry for the inconvenience.

    Let freedom reign
    Supportin' freedom an' democracy

    Why does George W Bush hate America?

    Local residents blacklisted, ejected from Soviet Bush Bamboozlepalooza tour official taxpayer-funded "private event" town hall meeting.

    There we were - three people who had personally picked up tickets from Republican Congressman Beauprez's office and went to a presidential event.

    After being seated in the audience we were forcibly removed before the President arrived, even though we had not been disruptive. We were shocked when told that this presidential event was a "private event" and were commanded to leave.

    The Secret Service revealed that we were "ID'ed" when local Republican staffers saw a bumper sticker on the car we drove which said "No More Blood For Oil." Evidently, the free speech expressed on one bumper sticker is cause enough to eject three citizens from a presidential event.

    God bless America.


    March 29, 2005

    From the things I really didn't need to know department
    "Big Dick" Cheney allegedly worked his way through college as a nude art model.


    Maybe that also explains why Bush is president
    "It's the same reason people like Paris Hilton: people like brainless things that move funny."


    The vast left-wing conspiracy
    Hey, look - some flying pigs being trained by Elvis!

    You know he's gone totally batshit when Tinfoil Tom turns to Hillary Clinton for inspiration.

    There are some basic rules in politics. When the public is with you, claim a mandate by the will of the people. When the public is against you, claim a strong personal compass that isn't swayed by polls. And when you think your control and approval are slipping, talk about the conspiracy working against you. With those simple rules in mind, we turn our attention to the Republican leadership and House majority leader Tom DeLay...


    Future Prison Bitchone of the surprise images
    Insane Hypocritical Douchebag
    Ethically-challenged nutbar

    Dammit - I can't get that 'tender crisp bacon cheddar ranch' song out of my head.

    Schindler's list
    With their 15 minutes just about up and their daughter almost dead, the Schindlers start cashing in.

    The parents of Terri Schiavo have authorized opportunistic ghouls a conservative direct-mailing firm to sell a list of their compassionate pro-lifers financial supporters, making it likely that thousands of strangers moved by her plight will receive a steady stream of solicitations from anti-abortion and conservative groups.

    Pamela Hennessy, an unpaid spokeswoman for the Schindlers, said she was initially appalled when she learned of the list's existence.

    "It is possibly the most distasteful thing I have ever seen," Ms. Hennessy said. "Everybody is making a buck off of her."



    March 28, 2005

    After spending all day yesterday with my family, all I want to do is curl up with a murder mystery, my cats, and a cigar. Then take a nap.


    Update: I guess by now you've all heard how one of those godless, barbaric, death-loving liberals... whoa, what??? Well, well: 'culture-of-life' dickhead and all-around slimy hypocrite Tom DeLay agreed to pull the plug on his father.

    Doctors advised that he would "basically be a vegetable," said the congressman's aunt, JoAnne DeLay.

    "There was no point to even really talking about it," recalled Maxine DeLay, the congressman's 81-year-old mother. "There was no way he wanted to live like that."

    Huh. Boy, THAT sounds familiar...


    March 26, 2005

    From the "Oh, come on - they can't be serious" department: protest signs for Terri Schiavo supporters that are so stupidly hilarious they could only have come from RimJob's fretards -

    Does a tomato smile at her mother?
    GOT WATER????
    Give Terrie Food, Water...and a DIVORCE.


    "I might as well be reading tabloids out of the grocery store"
    Man invents, markets Fox News blocker, receives death threats from Fox's core audience of "culture of life" morals voters.



    As I read your words about Terri Schiavo, "She talks and she laughs and she expresses likes and discomforts," I was struck with the realization that this description could just as truthfully apply to the greatest president in the history of the United States, Ronald Wilson Reagan.

    - from a letter to Tom DeLay from Gen. JC Christian, patriot.


    Rethugs grumbling about leaders' Schiavo stand
    It should have been a rightwinger’s wetdream. A chance to unite “moral values” voters and get them up in arms, like angry townspeople armed with rakes and pitchforks storming the castle of the godless prevert gay-hugging leftist commie elite and destroying them once and for all.

    Then real life got in the way, and as is its wont, took a dump all over them.

    One senior GOP lawmaker involved in the negotiations said DeLay, who is fighting ethics charges on several fronts, faced considerable pressure from Christian conservative groups to respond to pleas by Schiavo's parents. The lawmaker said many House Republicans were dubious and suspected the leader's ethics problems were a motivating factor.

    Republican concerns grew, the senior House GOP lawmaker said, as a succession of federal judges, some of them conservative appointees, rejected Congress' entreaty. "A lot of members are saying, 'Why did you put us through this?' " said the lawmaker.


    Fan mail from some Hell-bound flounder

    Free Image Hosting at
    Click to resurrect.


  • Terri Schiavo still not dead.
  • Sanctimonious coward Jeb Bush faces almighty Christian wrath after he canceled an appearance at a Good Friday service for fear of facing Schiavo supporters.
  • In the wake of lowest approval ratings ever, House repukes agree to vote on relaxing stem cell limits.


  • March 25, 2005

    Friday pet blogging

    It's not easy staying home all day, sleeping.


    Ken Mehlman's unmanly silence over his gaynitude
    Gay Republican National Committee chairman refuses to go on the record saying whether he's gay.

    The hypocritical lily-livered milksop.

    "Spain arrests Basque separatists, preventing them from rescuing Terri Schiavo."
    - headline at Fark.


    Rush Limbaugh, America's Junkie: hatefilled, zonked-out nutcase
    Sounds like the drugs talking. Asshat.

    "I just continue to be amazed at the energy and the enthusiasm for this woman to die. It's the one thing about all of this that, to me, is the big red flag. You know, I can understand having differences about the legal sides here, but the passion, the excitement -- and I know what it's all about. For most of these people that are excited for this woman to die, they love sticking it to the right wing. That's what they think they're getting away with: Showing the right wing how it feels to lose and this sort of thing.

    "It is unbelievable! These people are so obsessed."

    Yeah, that's it, Rush: godless liberals want her to die, just so people like you will look bad and maybe STFU.

    Fun fact: yes, he did get a dig in at his own personal obsession, Bill Clinton.

    Mr Limbaugh, seen here talking out of his ass.

    Tom DeLay, egotistical nutcase
    This guy is just plain scary. There are so many things wrong with this I just don't know where to start:

    [Putrid, delusional scumbag] DeLay described what he viewed as the intertwined struggle to save Ms. Schiavo, expand the conservative movement and defend himself against accusations of ethical lapses.

    "This is exactly the issue that is going on in America, of attacks against the conservative movement, against me and against many others," [the hypocritical paranoid asstool] said.

    [The obviously bugshit] Mr. DeLay complained that "the other side" had figured out how "to defeat the conservative movement," by waging personal attacks, linking with liberal organizations and persuading the national news media to report the story. He charged that "the whole syndicate" was "a huge nationwide concerted effort to destroy everything we believe in."

    Ohhhhhh kayyyyyy...


    Culture of life, stupidity
    Michael W. Mitchell of Asshat, Ill. walked into a gun shop in Seminole, Florida Thursday with a box cutter and tried to steal a gun so he could "take some action and rescue Terri Schiavo."

    Is everyone with that middle initial a moron?


    "Octopus walks on two legs to avoid predators, proving that even sea-life is smarter than our President."
    - headline at Fark.

    Yet, like Smirky Shitforbrains at a press conference, octopuses try to avoid predators by sneaking away while pretending to be a bunch of algae.


    Preznit Dimbulb's no-brainer policies
    Deny help for brain-injured soldiers, save a brain-dead woman

    This pandering to the “culture of life” movement by Bush and the Republican Congress represents the ultimate in hypocrisy. Why? Because on the very same weekend that these neocons-turned-nursemaids wrung their hands and spouted platitudes about protecting the sanctity of Schiavo’s life, the Bush administration eliminated all funding for the Federal Traumatic Brain Injuries Act!

    That’s right. Our president and his sycophants in Congress don’t care about saving brain-injured patients who could actually improve with treatments... brain injured combat veterans are being turned away from federal programs, denied help from the very same government that they fought to serve and protect.

    - more here.


    Bush criticized for silence, hypocrisy
    Non-response to school shooting contrasted with the Simian Sockpuppet's intervention in the white woman Schiavo case

    Native Americans across the country - including tribal leaders, academics and rank-and-file tribe members - voiced anger and frustration Thursday that [Squinty McStupid] has responded to the second-deadliest school shooting in US history with silence.

    The reaction to Bush's silence was particularly bitter given his high-profile, late-night intervention on behalf of Terri Schiavo.

    "The fact that Bush preempted his vacation to say something about Ms. Schiavo and here you have 10 native people gunned down and he can't take time to speak is very telling."

    The Minnesota tragedy has increased alarm among some school safety professionals about Bush's efforts to eliminate funding for two major programs meant to prevent classroom violence, including a Clinton administration initiative to help schools hire more police officers.

    Bush's aggressive response to Schiavo and virtual silence on the shootings has led critics to accuse him of political opportunism.


    BTW, Blogger sucks.

    March 24, 2005

    Rethugs' credibility gap grows as court rejects Schiavo case
    Heh. Eat it, m*therf*ckers.

    The legal struggle over the fate of Terri Schiavo is exposing what some see as a credibility gap for the Bush administration, Republicans in Congress and social conservatives who want to rid the federal judiciary of so-called activist judges and even strip them of authority.

    "Congress' desire to get a particular outcome led it to invite the courts to be activist, and the judges have properly refused," said Douglas Kmiec, a professor of constitutional law and a former Justice Department official in the Reagan and first Bush administrations.

    Harvard law professor Charles Fried, another Justice Department official under Reagan, accused Bush and congressional Republicans of backsliding on their long-standing commitment to states' rights.

    In their intervention in the Schiavo case, the Republicans embraced "the kind of free-floating judicial activism, disregard for orderly procedure and contempt for the integrity of state processes that they quite rightly have denounced and sought to discipline for decades," Fried wrote in the New York Times.

    "We have the Congress of the United States acting as if they can disregard the Constitution in its entirety to get the result it wanted."

    -more here.


    Bunnypants disses member of the Coalition

    The US military command in Iraq has blocked Italian policemen from examining the car in which an Italian intelligence agent was shot to death in Baghdad. Italian authorities say that examining the vehicle is key to assessing what happened on March 4, when US troops opened fire on the car carrying secret service agent Nicola Calipari, another intelligence officer and journalist Giuliana Sgrena. The US military in Baghdad had no immediate comment.

    Gay male WH prostitute update
    Jeff Gannon, the fake reporter with the fake name with the fake credentials from a fake news organization is also a fake Marine.


    Are you threatening me?
    Emperor Snippy, with disgraced, cowed pussy John McCain at his side, warned Dems they 'will suffer political consequences' if they continue to oppose his plan for creating private SS accounts - even though the misadministration has admitted that the accounts would do nothing but add trillions to the national debt.


    GOP scrubs lists of fundraising events as heat grows on Tom DeLay
    The party of accountability covers up evidence in growing scandal.

    The light gets flicked on and all the cockroaches scurry for cover.
    - comment by Pedro

    Raw Story reports: 'As attention grows on campaign fundraising and the relationship between top Republicans and a lobbyist under multiple federal investigations, the Republican National Congressional Committee has erased all online records of fundraising events for the last three years.'


    Political fallout over Schiavo law
    It's not over -

    Congressional leaders have insisted their only motivation in getting involved in the Terri Schiavo case was saving a life. But Americans aren’t buying that argument, a CBS News poll finds.

    An overwhelming 82 percent of the public believes the Congress and President should stay out of the matter. Just 13 percent of those polled think Congress intervened in the case out of concern for Schiavo, while 74 percent think it was all about politics.

    Public approval of Congress has suffered as a result; at 34 percent, it is the lowest it has been since 1997, dropping from 41 percent last month. Now at 43 percent, President Bush’s approval rating is also lower than it was a month ago.

    House Majority Leader and ethically-challenged snake Tom DeLay told the Family Research Council that the Schiavo case was sent by heaven. He also described the Schiavo showdown as personal.

    "This is exactly the issue that's going on in America, the attacks against the conservative movement, against me and against many others."

    What a #ucking tool. Yeah, everything's about you, Tom, you pathetic scumbag.

    The House Majority Leader.

    Even WH mouthpiece The Wall Street Journal's poll shows that 63% of their readers think that the repukes' role in the Schiavo case will negatively affect the party.

    Where to begin. As a life long Republican, I am appalled that Congress would spend tax-payers money to return to Washington and attempt to usurp States' rights by injecting their opinion into a private, family, decision-making process. Furthermore, Dr. Frist violated his own medical ethics by making a diagnosis from a 4 year old video; since when can a physician make a diagnosis without physically examining the patient. The actions by the Republican leadership and congretional members are nothing more than political pandering to a special interest group... This hypocrisy in the name of political grand standing is appalling and provides an impetus for my voting to support Democratic Party members in the future elections.
    W. Craig
    Dallas, TX

    The evangelicals aren't too happy either.


    National tragedy: Congress plays the Schiavo case for political gain
    "The passion play staged on Capitol Hill in the Terri Schiavo case was the Republican Congress at its opportunistic worst."

    It revealed a conservative majority resorting to un-conservative behavior through its rejection of law and legal process. It provided a distraction for House Majority Leader Tom DeLay's mounting ethics problems and it served as a tonic for Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist's presidential aspirations.

    All that one needs to know about why the Republicans enacted a special law... [t]he one-page message circulated to Republican senators by party leaders [calling] the Schiavo debate "a great political issue" to exploit against the Democrats.

    - from a Pittsburgh Post-Gazette editorial.

    Senator/douchebag Dr. Bill Frist, seen here hawking HIV-preventative anti-sweat pills.