September 30, 2006

We deliver
Going through our google search results, we see somebody was looking for the infamous Preznit Asshole A. Wol quote about the US Constitution. Well, here you go!

Doug Thompson, publisher of Capitol Hill Blue, says he's talked to three people present when Republican Congressional leaders met with President Bush in the Oval Office to talk about renewing the Patriot Act. That act, passed by legislators who hadn't read it, in the immediate aftermath of 9-11 (when most people were shell-shocked and lawmakers in particular disinclined to use their brains), has of course been criticized as containing unconstitutional elements.

All three GOP politicians quote their president as saying: "Stop throwing the Constitution in my face! It's just a goddamned piece of paper!"

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Mr president? Fuck you

"I didn’t cut and run, Mr. President... My helicopter was shot down long after you proclaimed "Mission Accomplished."
- Dem House candidate and veteran Tammy Duckworth, who lost both legs in the Iraq war.

Bob Geiger has the Saturday toons up!

The Stephen Colbert "On Notice Board" Generator

Create your own here (thanx to Rox)!
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There must be a mistake!

"Foley can't be a homosexual. He's a Republican after all, and thanks to you, homosexual persecution has become one of the party's main electoral strategies. Only a self-hating psychopath could be both a homosexual and a Republican, and you wouldn't have tried so hard to recruit him to run for the senate if that were the case."
- from the General's letter to Ken Mehlman.

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Kenny, finding this whole thing hard to swallow.

Stayin' the course, adapting to win
Baghdad under total curfew as violence escalates.


"Yore buyin' into enemy propaganda!"

Uhhh, was that wrong?
The GOP House leadership learned of Rep. Mark Foley's penchant for underage gay sex emails months ago and did nothing.

House Majority Leader John Boehner told the Washington Post last night that he had learned this spring of some "contact" between Foley and a 16-year-old page. Boehner said he told House Speaker Denny Hastert, and that Hastert assured him "we're taking care of it."
But the repug-run House page board met with Foley in 2005 to investigate the 'inappropriate, sexually charged online exchanges.'
Foley: What are ya wearing?

Teen: Tshirt and shorts

Foley: Love to slip them off of ya.
Foley, before he resigned in disgrace, was chairman of the Missing and Exploited Children's Caucus.

Late last night, the House passed a resolution directing the ethics committee to begin an inquiry into Foley's behavior. The committee has 10 days to report back to the House. But when will Hastert and Boehner be investigated??

September 29, 2006

Bush: 'criticism = enemy propaganda'
Captain Poopypants says critics who claim that the war in Iraq has made America less safe are "buying into enemy propaganda," same as those guys at the 16 terrist-enabling intelligence agencies in his own misadministration.

Stayin' the course, adapting to win
10 more people found tortured and slain in Baghdad today.

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AG Ghraibzales to judges: "watch what you say"
He's supposed to be the country's attorney general, not the president's...

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, who is defending Preznit Fuckwit's anti-terrorism tactics in multiple court battles, said Friday that federal judges should not substitute their personal views for the president's judgments in wartime. He said the Constitution makes the president commander in chief and the Supreme Court has long recognized the president's pre-eminent role in foreign affairs. "The Constitution, by contrast, provides the courts with relatively few tools to superintend military and foreign policy decisions, especially during wartime," the attorney general said.
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Another corrupt republican prevert out
"Send me an email pic of you as well," writes values 'n' morality party member to child.

Congressman Mark Foley (R-FL) resigns after questions emerged over his gay child-sex emails.
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Oh Gawd...
Yet another republican issues a statement that may cause an international incident.

Trent Lott: 'all sand niggers look alike' -

"It's hard for Americans, all of us, including me, to understand what's wrong with these people," he said. "Why do they kill people of other religions because of religion? Why do they hate the Israelis and despise their right to exist? Why do they hate each other? Why do Sunnis kill Shiites? How do they tell the difference? They all look the same to me."

Confederate fanboy unveils bill to 'help black farmers'
"Now they can grow all the watermelons they want!"

Dogged by stories of racial insensitivity and facing a lynching in the polls, George 'macaca' Allen introduced legislation yesterday to help dispel allegations that he doesn't care about cottonpickin' niggers.


Update: Now the Sons of Confederate Veterans are pissed off at George Allen.

"Bush says, 'The party of FDR, the party of Harry Truman, has become the party of cut-and-run.' I guess that means the party of Lincoln and Eisenhower has become the party of cronyism, lies, perpetual fear and incompetence?"

- headline on the intarwebs.

Bunnypants, unable to handle the truth, resorts to name-calling
Preznit Integritude divides, not unites in face of new, confirmed reports of his incompetency and outright lying.

Faced with new intelligence reports by his own agencies that show without a shadow of a doubt that Iraq is fueling terrorism rather than countering it, a crazed Preznit Liar could do no better than denounce Democrats "for becoming the party of cut and run."

"See, we gotta fight 'em over there so we don't hafta fight 'em over here. We gotta stay th' course. An' an' an' if somebody from al Qaeda is callin' somebody over here, we wanna know about it. September 11th."

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi responded (paraphrasing):

“The President needs to work on his slogans. ‘Cut and run’ is no more true than was ‘Mission Accomplished.’ After three and a half years of fighting and the loss of more than 2,700 of our troops, the American people deserve a plan that is going to work in Iraq, not this same old meaningless bullshit. Jackass."
"George Bush has no credibility left on national security," said Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid.

"16 of your own agencies, doofus!" Sen. Chuck Schumer added. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

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"I'm the Decider! Me!"

Bob Woodward, America-hater
Boob Woodward gets his mouth off Bush's tiny dick, instead whores for his new book called - appropriately enough - "State of Denial."

The Bush administration is concealing the level of violence against U.S. troops in Iraq and the situation there is growing worse despite White House and Pentagon claims of progress, [erstwhile repuke asscandy] Bob Woodward said in advance of a new book.

A senior administration official saw little new in Woodward's charges "except that Bob believes he has a lot of making up to do since the Washington establishment criticized him for being too soft in his first two books (on the Bush administration)."

'Soft'? He was nothing but a puddle of warm, sticky goo.
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White House ties to Abramoff stronger than reported
Disgraced lobbyist Jack "who??" Abramoff had limited contact with the White House. If by "limited contact" you mean "no more than two or three meetings a week for three years."

Karl Rove and Ken Mehlman, who knew the guy vaguely from somewhere, are up to their shifty eyeballs in Jack Abramoff lovejuice.

Hundreds of contacts between top White House officials and convicted lobbyist Jack Abramoff and his associates "raise serious questions about the legality and actions" of those officials, according to a draft bipartisan report prepared by the House Government Reform Committee.
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Oliver Stone blasts fascistic dumbass
"This is not a human being, this a fanatic."

Filmmaker Oliver Stone blasted [GameBoy McFartypants] Thursday, saying he has "set America back 10 years." Stone added that he is "ashamed for my country" over the war in Iraq and the U.S. policies in response to the attacks of Sept. 11.

"We have destroyed the world in the name of security," Stone said. "This war on Iraq is a disaster. I'm disgraced. I'm ashamed for my country. I'm also ashamed that America has attacked itself with its constitutional breakdowns. I'm deeply ashamed."

Oh, hey, and while we're at it
Speaking of violating the Constitution... Hoping to avoid even more investigations, the House yesterday approved Bush's illegal warrantless wiretap law.

The House approved a bill Thursday that would grant legal status to President Bush's warrantless wiretapping program. Republicans called it a test before the election of whether Democrats want to fight or coddle terrorists.
"The Democrats' irrational opposition to wiping their asses with the US Constitutio uhh giving free rein to our fascist tendencies mmm keeping our great leader from maybe being investigated strong national security policies that help keep our nation secure should be of great concern to the American people," Majority Leader John 'boner' Boehner, R-Asshat, said.

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The shame of America
Putting party above country, gpuke scumbags pass torture bill.

Violating the US Constitution in the name of protecting republicans, the Senate OKs bill that would keep Bush safe from war crimes charges.

Tom Malinowski, the director for Human Rights Watch, said Bush's motivation is partly to protect his reputation by gaining congressional endorsement of controversial actions already taken. "He's been accused of authorizing criminal torture in a way that has hurt America and could come back to haunt our troops. One of his purposes is to have Congress stand with him in the dock," Malinowski said.
So we're better than Saddam and other 'evildooers' how??

And to the dems who voted for this, shame on you.
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Resistance "to do" list

I hadn't gotten much past "renew passport" when I saw Bitch, Ph.D.'s post on the subject. (Love her!) It's a great start:

  • Mail in my registration to vote at my new address today.
  • This weekend, talk to Mr. B. about volunteering, money, and a strategy for what to do about the upcoming election.
  • As I get to know the other parents at PK's school, ask what they think about the upcoming election, the new law suspending habeas corpus, etc.
  • Convince my dad, who lives in a reddish part of a blue state, that he has both the time and responsibility to call *his* local Democratic organization and volunteer to help register/get out the vote.
  • Call *my* local Democratic organization and volunteer to help with whatever.
  • Join the ACLU.

Any of you all got other suggestions of the peaceful, lawful kind? (Extra points for fun and creative.)


(image from

Friday cat blogging

(Pic via Stuff On My Cat)

learn martial arts in preparation for resistance activities.


Socks the Cat says, "Where do I sign up?"

Don't say "welcome to the occupation"--say "Vive la résistance!"

War Criminals Protection Act of 2006 passes. The Onion predicted it in '02.


"Leesten very carefully--I shall say 'zis only once."

GOP Congressional candidate accuses Dem candidate who lost her legs in Iraq of "cutting and running."

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September 28, 2006

More smelly eructations from Bill O'Reilly

O'Reilly calls Media Matters and ThinkProgress "hired guns." As though FOX "News" weren't an organ of the Central Committee. . . I mean, Bush administration.

I swear, how can you tell if that man is burping swamp gas or talking?


"FOX 'News'--brought to you by the ingestion of cruciferous vegetables!"

Once again, Trent Lott makes us proud in Mississippi

Why do they hate each other? Why do Sunnis kill Shiites? How do they tell the difference? They all look the same to me.

Oh, and while he's at it, "real people out in the real world" don't "obsess" about Iraq.



(Image from

That's some catch, that Catch-22.

Rethugs finally resurrect the bill prohibiting the practice of "pretexting" to gain copies of personal phone records, but with a catch: only if state legislation that protects privacy is superseded by federal legislation that is in some cases less strict than the state laws.

Over at AMERICAblog John in DC asks: "Why doesn't the Republican congress want to protect your phone records from complete strangers who can simply buy them on the Internet?" Answer: because government agencies are buying the records from the sleazebags. But if the states are forced to halt their investigations into the practices of the NSA, they'll get what they want that way.



Spreadin' freedom an' democratude
Ah, screw that. It's just a goddamn piece of paper, anyway.

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Nummies! Numnumnumnumnums!

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Bringing integrity back to Washington
CNN's Jack Cafferty rips Congress a well-deserved new one.

JACK: Ordinarily, we don't do a question two days in a row, but this is important enough to be an exception. The House just passed President Bush's bill to redefine the treatment of detainees, and the Senate's expected to do the same thing tomorrow. Buried deep inside this legislation is a provision that will pardon President Bush and all the members of his administration of any possible crimes connected with the torture and mistreatment of detainees dated all the way back to September 11, 2001.

At least President Nixon had Gerald Ford to do his dirty work. President Bush is trying to pardon himself.

Here's the deal. Under the War Crimes Act, violations of the Geneva Conventions are felonies. In some cases, punishable by death.

When the Supreme Court ruled the Geneva Conventions applied to al Qaeda and Taliban detainees, President Bush and his boys were suddenly in big trouble. They had been working these prisoners over pretty good.

In an effort to avoid possible prosecution, they're trying to cram this bill through Congress before the end of the week when Congress adjourns. The reason there's such a rush to do this, if the Democrats get control of the House in November, well, this kind of legislation probably wouldn't pass.

You want to know the real disgrace of what these people are about to do or are in the process of doing? Senator Bill Frist and Congressman Dennis Hastert and their Republican stooges apparently don't see anything wrong with this.

I really do wonder sometimes what we're becoming in this country.

Stayin' the course, adapting to win
40 tortured bodies found in Baghdad.

A car bomb killed five people and wounded another 34 after it exploded near a restaurant in central Baghdad.

Bombings and shootings kill 21 in and around Baghdad.

A quarter of a million Iraqis are refugees as they flee sectarian violence.

American troops will stand down as Iraqi troops stand up. Which at this point will be the day after Hell freezes over. Along with all the feces and urine that 'rained from the ceilings' in their barracks.

Six in ten Iraqis back attacks on US troops. Slightly more want us to cut and run.

"Weren't we going to be treated like liberators? Weren't we going to be greeted with sweets and flowers?" - Al Franken, to gpuke shill Tony 'shortfingers' Blankley.

Fun fact: not only has Iraq caused more terrorism, the fiasco is now costing US taxpayers $2 billion a week.

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Placating the masses
Bribing the sheeple.

Let's see. Two months before an important election and the price of gasoline has dropped by up to 30 percent in some parts of the country, even though the price of a barrel of crude is only down about 15 percent....

Why do I smell Karl Rove's skanky, grublike fingers all over this?
- a Salt Lake Tribune editorial (slightly paraphrased).

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America's Mayor defends Clinton's anti-terrorism efforts
Fag hag/showgirl Rudy Giuliani Wednesday further hindered his chances for the 2008 repug presidential nomination by praising Bill Clinton's counterterrorism efforts:

"The idea of trying to cast blame on President Clinton is just wrong for many, many reasons, not the least of which is I don't think he deserves it," Giuliani said, adding he believed Clinton did everything he could with the information he was provided.
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"The Big Dog is fahhhbulous!"

Yet another report refutes Bush
The White House is scrambling to try to explain both intelligence assessments, given Smirky McLiar's September 7 claim that "America is winning the war on terra."

In a second blow to the president, a new UN report said the Iraq war was providing al Qaeda with a training center and fresh recruits, and was inspiring a Taliban resurgence in Afghanistan, where things are going swimmingly hundreds of miles away.

The UN report released on Wednesday jibed with the NIE's conclusions.
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From the Department of Schadenfreude . . .

. . . and from my former home state of New York:

Jeanine Pirro, Westchester County District Attorney and Repug candidate for Attorney General of New York, is under investigation by the feds. That's what you get when you try to hire serial adulterer and con artist Bernie Kerik to do your marital snooping for you.

Poor Jeanine just doesn't get it. Long known as one of the hardest of hard-assed prosecutors in New York State - and one who's eagerly trod the backs of minor drug defendants in her Manolo Blahnik'd scramble up the ladder to higher office - she's now claiming that the whole episode is merely another example of the politics of personal destruction:

There is no way — when I have the opportunity to be the first woman attorney general in the history of this state — that I am going to be pushed out of this race because somebody wants to delve into the personal lives of my husband and myself. I’m standing up for myself and I’m standing up for women.

Jeanine, honey: When Ken "Javert" Starr wastes more than five years and $40 mil in taxpayer dollars to investigate a public official who got a blowjob on the side and his wife decides to forgive him for it - that's "delving into the personal lives" of a politician and spouse. When the feds accidentally discover (by investigating another slimeball) that you attempted to hire someone to record your husband's extracurricular sexual activities - in violation of the law - that's called "investigation of [an alleged] crime."

And you, a prosecutor.

Eat it, honey.

Oh, and Jeanine: What you're doing ain't "standing up for women." Sit the fuck back down.

-- L

Yeah, that would be America right now. Extraordinary rendition, limitless detention, torture, destruction of habeas corpus . . . doncha just feel a whole lot safer now?

Bleargh. I don't think I've got enough caffeine in me yet to blog about this morning's Senate proceedings. Then again, there may not be enough caffeine in the world to make me feel up to that . . . .

-- L

September 27, 2006

The fuck??
Catapulting the propaganda. Again: Washington-based public relations firm The Lincoln Group has won another multi-million dollar contract from the taxpayers Pentagon to monitor media coverage of the war in Iraq and produce talking points for US forces.

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Reporter asks Bunnypants if Bill Clinton's allegation - that Bush had no meetings about Bin Laden for nine months after Clinton left office - is true. Smirky's response?


Q: Thank you, Mr. President. Former President Clinton says that your administration had no meetings on bin Laden for nine months after he left office. Is that factually accurate, and how do you respond to his charges?

PREZNIT DUMBASS: You know, look, Karen, I've watched all this finger-pointing and naming of names, and all that stuff. Our objective is to secure the country. And we've had investigations, we had the 9/11 Commission, we had the look back this, we've had the look back that. The American people need to know that we spend all our time doing everything that we can to protect them. So I'm not going to comment on other comments.

But I will comment on this -- that we're on the offense against an enemy that wants to do us harm. And we must have the tools necessary to protect our country. On the one hand, if al Qaeda or al Qaeda affiliates are calling somebody in the country, we need to know why. And so Congress needs to pass that piece of legislation. If somebody has got information about a potential attack, we need to be able to ask that person some questions. And so Congress has got to pass that piece of legislation.

You can't protect America unless we give those people on the front lines of protecting this country the tools necessary to do so within the Constitution. And that's where the debate is here in the United States. There are some decent people who don't believe -- evidently don't believe we're at war, and therefore, shouldn't give the administration what is necessary to protect us.

And that goes back to Jennifer's question, you know. Does being on the offense mean we create terrorists? My judgment is the only way to defend the country is to stay on the offense. It is preposterous to think if we were to withdraw [from Iraq] and hope for the best, things would turn out fine against this enemy. That was my point about, before we were in Iraq there were thousands being trained in Afghanistan to strike America and other places. The only way to protect this country is to stay on the offense, is to deal with threats before they fully materialize and, in the long-term, help democracy succeed, like Afghanistan and Iraq, and Lebanon and a Palestinian state.

But there's a difference of opinion. It will come clear during this campaign, where people will say, get out, leave before the job is done. And those are good, decent, patriotic people who believe that way -- I just happen to believe they're absolutely wrong. So I'm going to continue to work to protect this country. And we'll let history judge -- all the different finger-pointing and all that business. I don't have enough time to finger-point. I've got to stay -- I've got to do my job, which comes home every day in the Oval Office, and that is to protect the American people from further attack.

Now, there are some who say, well, maybe it's not going to happen. Well, they don't see what I see. All I ask is that they look at that terror plot that, along with the Brits, we helped -- helped stop -- people who were going to get on an airplane and blow up innocent lives in order to achieve political objectives. They're out there, they're mean, and they need to be brought to justice.

Uh, then that would be "yes - yes, it is." Geez...

OK, it's a semi-colon, then!

"It's hard to think of a president and an administration more devoted to secrecy than President Bush and his team. Except, that is, when it suits Mr. Bush politically to give the public a glimpse of the secrets. And so, yesterday, he ordered the declassification of a fraction of a report by United States intelligence agencies on the global terrorist threat. ..

"But the three declassified pages from what is certainly a voluminous report told us what any American with a newspaper, television or Internet connection should already know. The invasion of Iraq was a cataclysmic disaster."
- from a NY Times editorial.

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Pic from BartCop. Click to enlarge.
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Journal: White House blocked hurricane report
The journal Nature reports that the Bush misadministration has blocked release of a report linking global warning to the increase in the number and strength of hurricanes.

Look - squirrels!

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Majority of Americans hate America, enable terrists
Poll: public puts primary blame for escaped perpetrator on Preznit Poopypants.

According to the latest Gallup Poll, more Americans blame Preznit GameBoy than President Clinton for the failure to capture Osama bin Laden, dead or alive, RawStory reports.

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They are going too far with these genetically modified organisms:

"Maw, get me mah gun, it's another one of them Cheney kittens!"


Second "grim" NIE on Iraq exists
What's Bush hiding now??

Rep. Jane Harman, the ranking Democrat on the House Intelligence Committee, called on the White House to release a second, previously unknown national intelligence document that focuses solely on Iraq. Harman says the document has been kept in draft form so that it won't be seen before midterm elections.

"I hear it paints a grim picture. And because it does, I am told it is being held until after the November elections. If this estimate is finished, it should not be stamped 'draft' and hidden from the American people until after the elections," Harman said in a statement.

White House homeland security adviser Frances Townsend denied the claim, saying the report in question was commissioned in August and won't be complete until January.

The Knights who say 'NIE.'
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Whoa! This just in -
Jane Harman to John Negroponte: deliver the second NIE before November, fuckwad.

Hey there, wheatard!
The George Allen Insult Generator.

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Sen. Clinton hits back at Rice over 9/11
Hillary totally owns Condoliar with just one quote:

"I'm certain that if my husband and his national security team had been shown a classified report entitled 'Bin Laden Determined To Attack Inside the United States' he would have taken it more seriously than history suggests it was taken by our current president and his national security team."
- Hillary Clinton, for the win yesterday.

Little-known fact: Ms Rice is actually a man, baby:

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Click to enlarge.
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