Not news: Political columnist weighs in on the Conservative Bible Project: "I've seen some incredibly stupid and misguided initiatives by ‘conservatives’ in my day, but this one takes the cake."
News: It’s conservative Bible-thumper Joseph Farah of worldnutdaily.
October 23, 2009
You KNOW you're fuckin crazy when...
Breaking.......
With his Freudian slip showing, former Pretzelnut Tipsy McStaggers regrets photo op in front of Mission Impossible banner.
And he thought he was wrong once. But he wasn't. So he doesn't regret being wrong about being right.
He can't get ANYTHING right
"24" star on meeting then-pResident Dumbyuh Bush: "He said 'Hey Carlos, when are you coming out of that coma? All I can do is watch that show of yours. Are you coming back?' And I was like ‘you don't have anything better to do?’"
Double dumbfuckery: George Dumbyass Bush today: "I regret standing in front of that 'Mission Impossible' banner..."
Call the wehhhhmbulance!
After insulting MSNBC’s primetime anchors and guests, WATB wonders why the network won’t ‘apologize’ to Rush “take that bone out of your nose and call me back” Limpballs.
Fux Noise contributor Dan Gainor:
“Wehhhhhhhhhh! Weh weh wehhhhhhhhhh!”
Poll: majority of Real AmericansTM hate America
Just in time for Halloween: A new Rasmussen Reports survey finds that 73% of GOP voters say Congressional rethugs have lost touch with their base. Their crazy, tinfoiled, troglodytic dittomonkey base.
Just 15% of Republicans who plan to vote in 2012 state primaries say the party’s representatives in Congress have done a good job of representing Republican values.Whatever THOSE are. Besides that whole “Keep the Govermint Outta Medicare!” thing.
For more good news for rethuglicans, see here and here.
Faux Nooze, Zombie Nixon’s wet dream
“Pundits making false comparisons between Obama and Nixon have no idea what they're talking about.” - Joe Conason.
Former Nixon aide Pat Buchanan: ‘Fox Nooze a bunch of imbeciles’
BUCHANAN: “It is the most idiotic comparison I’ve ever seen. Barack Obama won 95 percent of Washington DC, he comes in with both houses Congress behind him, the media love him, the country loves him. Nixon came in with both houses of Congress against him, he probably got 8 percent of the vote in Washington DC, the media loathed him. … I don’t see any comparison between Obama and Nixon whatsoever. … [T]here’s no comparison. Barack Obama’s got enormous press support, he’s got problems with Fox News but for heaven’s sakes there is no comparison here.”Maybe that’s what they mean by ‘fair and balanced’.
“I also have to laugh,” liberal talk radio host Bill Press said during the segment. “When Republicans want to hurt a Democrat, what do they do? They compare him to another Republican. It’s crazy.”
"That's not impersonation; that's satire"
The Party of No Values up to its dirty tricks again --
Twitter, Inc. has shut down 33 fake Twitter accounts created by Republicans using the names of Democratic state representatives. The Republican scheme was to send out posts under the Democrats' names mocking the ‘liberal tax-and-spend bastards’.
"That's unfortunate," was state Republican Chairman Chris Healy's response when told of Twitter's decision. "I'm not quite sure what the issue is, other than that the Democrats were successful in stopping free speech. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m late for my NAMBLA/goat fucking meet ‘n’ greet, and we’ve got some real hotties coming in today!"
Dems lash out at Cheney over 'dithering' comment
‘Maybe QuickDraw McVader should just STFU and go back to torturing puppies,’ WH spokesman Robert Gibbs should have said. Chicago-style*.
“What that warmongering piece of shit calls ‘dithering,’ President Obama calls his solemn responsibility to the men and women in uniform and to the American public," Gibbs told reporters. "I think we've all seen what happens when somebody doesn't take that responsibility seriously."House Speaker Nancy Pelosi also had a few choice words for Mr “I Had Other Priorities” von Torturesberg in an interview with NBC's Andrea Mitchell:
"The situation in Afghanistan today is what it is in no small part because it was under-resourced for nearly seven years during the Bush administration," said another official, speaking anonymously to avoid the inevitable soul-destroying backlash from legions of Falafelheads and Malkanians.
Gibbs added that Cheney's criticism was undercut by the actions of his own White House. He said a recommendation by Bush's top general in Afghanistan, David McKiernan, for thousands of additional troops languished for as long as eight months.
"I find it interesting that he is blaming us for something he didn't see fit to do over, best I can tell, seven years of war in Afghanistan," Gibbs said, making the international gesture for “jerkoff”.
Mitchell: “Do you think it is appropriate for a former vice president to accuse the president of dithering when it comes to the safety of our troops?”(slightly paraphrased for clarity)
Pelosi: “Oh Christ, not again.. There are so many things that are so inappropriate about the Bush/Cheney misadministration and their aftermath... The public is tired of this shit. The fact is the American people very overwhelming approve of the president deliberating on this issue, because they know its consequences are very serious. So fuck him.”
*New gpuke talking-point phrase.
US general/hero blasts Cheney over 'dithering' comment
National Security Senior Adviser Gen. Paul Eaton (Ret.), who served more than 30 years in the United States Army and oversaw the training of the Iraqi military, responded to Mr Five Deferments’ accusations on Afghanistan. Here it is, in its entirety:
The record is clear: Dick Cheney and the Bush administration were incompetent war fighters.
They ignored Afghanistan for 7 years with a crude approach to counter-insurgency warfare best illustrated by: 1. Deny it. 2. Ignore it. 3. Bomb it. While our intelligence agencies called the region the greatest threat to America, the Bush White House under-resourced our military efforts, shifted attention to Iraq, and failed to bring to justice the masterminds of September 11.
The only time Cheney and his cabal of foreign policy ‘experts’ have anything to say is when they feel compelled to protect this failed legacy. While President Obama is tasked with cleaning up the considerable mess they left behind, they continue to defend torture or rewrite a legacy of indifference on Afghanistan. Simply put, Mr. Cheney sees history throughout extremely myopic and partisan eyes.
As one deeply invested in the Armed Forces of this country, I am grateful for the senior military commanders assigned to leading this fight and the men and women fighting on the ground. But I dismiss men like Cheney who inject partisan politics into the profound deliberations our Commander-in-Chief and commanders on the ground are having to develop a cohesive and comprehensive strategy, bringing to bear the economic and diplomatic as well as the military power, for Afghanistan -- something Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld never did.
No human endeavor can be as profound as sending a nation’s youth to war. I am very happy to see serious men and women working hard to get it right.
Scion of revered gpuke icon blasts Cheney over 'dithering' comment
Saint Ronnie of Reagan’s son Ron:
“Mr. Cheney's concern for the safety and well-being of American troops in Afghanistan would be far more touching had he not been so instrumental in sending them into harm's way in the first place -- before losing interest as he pursued his unnecessary war of choice in Iraq.”Heh. More here
MORE DELICIOUS GRAYSONESQUE GOODNESS!!!
I'm gettin' to lovin' this guy, Alan Grayson!
And WELL SAID by MinistryOfTruth over at Kos:
"WARNING! Pwnage is of EPIC Proportions. It is advised that you DO NOT HOLD YOUR COFFEE AND SIP IT during the watching of this video or reading of this transcript!"
I'm gonna HAVE to throw mo bucko's at Grayson now. I'm starting to want to see some movage upmanship from this guy, like say maybe one day a Prez Grayson!
Enjoy this post, it's truly priceless.
October 22, 2009
Hitler finds out ’balloon boy’ was a hoax
I haven't seen a balloon disaster this bad since the Hindenburg...
Honoring the dead, Jack Mehoff
During this important debate on health care, let us take a moment to think of those who died for lack of health insurance: Norma Jeane Mortenson, Lassie Martin, Steve Rogers and Hugh G. Reckshinn.
** childish giggling**
Help! We’re being oppressed!
The partisan asswipes at Politico obsess over the “marginalization” of rich white liars --
It’s “a far cry from the post-partisan, consensus-driven, unifying approach” that was Obama’s signature during the campaign,” Republican lobbyist Charlie Black whined. "Fighting with a bunch of different institutions turns him into a typical politician and makes people cynical that anyone's really going to change Washington. A big part of his 'hope and change' message was: 'We're gong to talk to everyone.' He might have had great intentions, but human nature and politics don't change much."Yeah, well, I guess it's hard to talk to people when they're calling you an unpatriotic Nixonian Jimmy Carter-like Mao-loving terrist-fist-bumping socialist gunbanning nazi radical-muslim commie who was born in Kenya and is now destroying America.
Press secretary Robert Gibbs has mocked Limbaugh from the White House press room podium. White House aides limited access to the Chamber and made top adviser Valerie Jarrett available to reporters to disparage the group. Everyone from White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel to Communications Director Anita Dunn has piled on Fox News by contending it’s not a legitimate news operation.So Fux and the GOP are synonymous. Thanks for finally clearing that up.
All of the techniques are harnessed to a larger purpose: to marginalize not only the individual person or organization but also some of the most important policy and publicity allies of the national Republican Party.
Conservaturd yappers assfucking their own party
Repug leaders worry that the big electoral comeback in 2010 all the rightwing talking heads are constantly crowing about won't happen unless the rightwing talking heads just STFU.
Some moderate republican officials – you know, RINOs – are worried that needed Independent voters will view the GOP as "shallow", overly partisan or “just plain” fucked up.
Many top Republicans are growing worried that the party’s chances for reversing its electoral routs of 2006 and 2008 are being wounded by the flamboyant rhetoric and angry tone of conservative activists and media personalities, according to interviews with GOP officials and operatives.Shallow, overly partisan and just plain fucked up conservative activists.
Congressional leaders talk in private of being boxed in by commentators such as Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh — figures who are wildly popular with the conservative base but wildly controversial among other parts of the electorate, and who have proven records of making life miserable for senators and House members critical of their views or influence.
When Republicans such as Rep. Phil Gingrey have complained about these figures in public, most have quickly apologized in the face of outraged phone calls and e-mails from conservative activists.
Turning the other cheek
NFL owners are anti-Semitic race pimps – not to mention preening girlie-men who should be watching figure skating -- and patriotic Americans should boycott the NFL until they apologize to Real Man Rush Limbaugh. Yep, some butthurt hypocrite over at Not-so-Breitbrat’s site haz a sad:
The mention of Rush’s name is like nails on a chalkboard to some liberal elements in America. No opportunity to try to reduce his stature or influence on the political discussion is ignored. Any chance to stop anything Rush does is seen as a political statement. There is a far left-wing in the Democrat [sigh – Ed.] party that hates him and what he stands for so deeply …Gee, sort of like the right and their feelings toward Prez Obama.
So when Rush was mentioned as a part of the group bidding to take over the Rams, the call was sounded on the far left.It was? Wait, let me take the bone out of my nose and I’ll get back to you.
Don’t misunderstand, I believe it is the NFL owners’ proverbial ball and they are free to do as they wish. They want to pick appeasing the left over allowing Rush a few shares of a team, that’s their business… However, the next time they come to me and ask for my support to buy a ticket, watch a game or vote for a bond issue for a stadium, they can ask someone else. As of today, for me, the NFL no longer exists. I am thinking that there are a lot of folks who feel the same way. This past Sunday I watched no NFL football. You know what? I’m still alive! Next Sunday I don’t know what I’ll be doing but it will be something besides watching the NFL.LOL. He didn’t get many takers. In fact, there were quite a few who echoed the feelings of this guy:
Join me if you wish and maybe we can show the owners how capitalism works.
Since Limbaugh was dropped, I have doubled my support of the NFL. I watch 3 times as many games as I used to. I will buy more NFL approved apparel and souvenirs than I ever have in the past. I am now an NFL advocate. I plan to urge all my friends and acquaintances to support the NFL as a show of support for the Limbaugh incident.Kudos, dude.
BTW, wasn’t that cute when Limbaugh played “Barack the Magic Negro” on his show?
War on the media!!11!
The White House Nixonian ‘enemies list’
Ahem -- that’s the Bush/Cheney White House Nixonian enemies list --
Media Matters for America has compiled a list of organized and unjustified attacks that GOP leaders -- often aided by Fox News -- have conducted against media outlets over the past decade; those attacks have included boycotts or threatened boycotts of media outlets, efforts to revoke journalists' credentials or ban them from press planes, and even calls to have journalists prosecuted.
Gee, where was all the gpuke outrage over the “repulsive audacity” of the WH for media attacks back then? Oh yeah, right. Read more here.
‘Caribou Barbie: American Whargarrbl’ spawns serious parody
Our buddy Symbolman has a new book coming out!
‘Going Rouge – The Sarah Palin Rogue Coloring and Activity Book’ by cartoonist Julie Sigwart and Micheal Stinson, is also out on 17 November. Featuring mazes ("Help Sarah find her way to the White House"; "Where in the world does domestic Alaskan oil go?"), puzzles and word games, the authors promise to "mercilessly lampoon and parody everything Palin in 48 pages of hilarity".Web and order page here!
"We are environmentally conscious folks, and consider her to be a total threat to ecosystems everywhere, a continuation of the abominable legacy of George W Bush, an epitome of the stereotypical 'Ugly American'," Stinson said by email today. He promised that their book "doesn't just have a buncha words, we've got pictures" too.
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