WTF Is It Now?!?

Like Wiping off a Dingleberry - Cleaning Up in Bush's Wake

Japan and South Korea are trying to calm the waters after President Cowpie's continued harsh rhetoric toward North Korea on his trip to Asia last week. Analysts here say the Warmongering Wondermonkey's comments, in which he castigated the North Korean leader, Kim Jong Il and repeated his judgment that the regime is "evil," have further distanced prospects of renewed cooperation by Pyongyang.

The Smirking Simpleton "says he is willing to talk to the North, but he is not willing to make it a priority," said Ji Yeon Yuh, an assistant history professor at Northwestern University, writing in the Daily Yomiuri. When the Clueless Cornpone "labeled North Korea part of an axis of evil, he heightened the potential for military conflict. The losers in any such conflict would be the Korean people."

Howard Baker, the U.S. ambassador to Tokyo, acknowledged that he worried about the miscalculation.*

Washington Post
*swell...



Leno, trying to be funny:
Vice President Cheney is on his way to the Middle East. This is called "Operation Avoid Enron Subpoena."



Golf jokes!

Golfer: "I've played so poorly all day; I think I'm going to go drown myself in that lake."
Caddy: "I doubt you could keep your head down that long."

Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to be able to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven. You've already moved most of the earth."

Golfer: I've never played this bad before.
Caddy: "I didn't realize you had played before, sir."

Golfer: "Caddy, do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Oh yes, sir! You miss the ball much closer than you used to."

Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time, caddy. It's distracting!"
Caddy: "This isn't a watch, sir, its a compass!"

Golfer: "Caddy, do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday?"
Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin any day of the week!"

Golfer: "This golf is a funny game."
Caddy: "It's not supposed to be."

Golfer: "That can't be my ball, caddy. It looks far too old."
Caddy: "It's a long time since we started, sir."

Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5-iron?"
Caddy: "Eventually."

Golfer (screaming): "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world!"
Caddy: "I doubt it. That would be too much of a coincidence!"



The Top 15 Rejected Cocktail Names

15. Harvey Ballbuster

14. Gin & Colonic

13. Slow Uncomfortable Spew

12. Scabby Mary

11. Sullen Masturbation on the Beach

10. Wrung-Out Bar Rag on the Rocks with a Twist

9. Bloody Navel

8. Blatant Reference To Sexual Activity

7. The Slutmaker

6. Sloe Comfortable Screw Up Against a Wall in Cancun Next to a Fat Dude Named Ramon Who Keeps Flicking Matches at Some Kids Poking a Dead Rat With a Stick They Found Underneath a '57 T-bird with a Dead Prostitute in the Trunk

5. Long Island Iced Pee

4. Screaming Hangover

3. Buttery Pimple

2. Elian on the Beach

and Topfive.com's Number 1 Rejected Cocktail Name...

1. Sex With Your Wife

- -- - From The Top 5 List