April 24, 2002


Karen kisses Widdle Georgie bye-bye.


Today

If you watch from a church porch from eleven at night till one in the morning of St Mark's Eve, you will see all the people who are to die in the next year parade past.

1792 the national anthem of France, "La Marseillaise," was composed by Capt. Claude Joseph Rouget de Lisle in one night during the French Revolution. It's got the coolest lyrics:
Our day of Glory has arrived.
Against us stands tyranny,
The bloody flag is raised,
The bloody flag is raised.
Do you hear in the countryside
The roar of these savage soldiers
They come right into our arms
To cut the throats of your sons, your country.
To arms, citizens!
Form up your battalions
Let us march, Let us march!
That their impure blood
Should water our fields

The alternate version is also pretty damn inspiring:
Shall hateful tyrants, mischief breeding,
With hireling hosts a ruffian band
Affright and desolate the land
While peace and liberty lie bleeding?
To arms, to arms, ye brave!
Th'avenging sword unsheathe!
March on, march on, all hearts resolved
On liberty or death.


1916 some 1,600 Irish nationalists launched the Easter Rising by seizing several key sites in Dublin. History does not record what song they marched to.

1961 Bob Dylan made his recording debut, playing harmonica on Harry Belafonte's "Midnight Special" album. He was paid 50 dollars.

1964 police officer Lonnie Zamora of Socorro, New Mexico, saw a shiny object 200 yards off the road which he took to be an overturned car. Nearby were two 'people' in white coveralls. He drove towards the object, and got out of the car. Almost at once, it took off with a loud roar, rising straight up, with an orange-blue tail of flame.

1996 The Palestinian parliament declares in Gaza City that it no longer seeks Israel's destruction and has abandoned armed struggle.

2001 The Supreme Court ruled, 5-4, that police can arrest and handcuff people for minor traffic offenses. Oh liberty can man resign thee, Once having felt thy gen'rous flame?

2002 As the situation in the Mideast continued to develop like the fetus in the womb of GW Bush's 15-year-old girlfriend before he forced her to have an abortion, the Smirking Sockpuppet decided to "take a break" from meeting with Arab leaders and hit the campaign trail again - this time in South Dakota. It was left to Defib Dick to meet with the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia.


Word of the Day: Apocryphal - Maru suspected that the stories she was hearing about Karen leaving to spend more time with her family were apocryphal.





"Wasn't it your day to watch him?"

Is that the Royal "we" now, you f*cking idiot?

Lasting peace in the Middle East is possible only if a Palestinian state is established, Preznit Pretzal said Tuesday as he reached out to the Arab world. As if to underscore his message, the Clueless Cowpie blatted, "our government means what we say."

"The only way for there to be lasting peace is for there to be two states living side by side at peace with each other," the Simpering Ninny carolled.

And people wonder why Karen Huge is leaving.



Quotes of the Day

"All of the classification of documents, as you know as well as I do, is not done so that wicked enemies of the United States will find out our secrets; it's so that Americans will not find out what their government is up to." - Gore Vidal.

Karen Huge "announced that she intended to resign and go back to Texas with her family this summer, thus ending one of Washington's more public displays of rank ignorance." - James Ridgeway

"Karen Hughes says she wants to spend more time with her family. So, for what it's worth, did a bunch of executives from Enron, Arthur Andersen and Kmart. Funny how all of them were afflicted with family longings that coincided with searingly difficult job circumstances." - Mark Leibovich

"For Earth Day pResident Bush was showing people how to use an ax. It's the same one he'll use on Social Security." - Letterman





Nicholas von Hoffman kicks butt: "a wind-up toy boat with a bent rudder doing circular putt-putts in the bathtub" - a wind-up toy boat with a leak!

"During the Passover/Easter period, you couldn't say how George Bush was spending his time. Maybe, as all hell was breaking loose in the Middle East, he was praying-he likes us to think he spends a lot of quality time with the Lord, on his knees with his hands clasped-or he could as easily have been hunkering down and trying to stay out of harm's way, as he did on Sept. 11.

"If he was praying, what was he praying for? A Republican Senate next November? Maybe he was asking the Lord God of Hosts to make being President fun again, like it was the first few weeks. Or maybe he was asking to be made into a teensy-weensy, itty-bitty little fella nobody can see. If so, his prayers have been answered on that last one. Every day, this guy loses a couple of more inches. Some grow in office; others shrink.

"This is not the moment for ordinary political tricks and wiles. You do not stand with one thumb in your mouth and the other up your rear end as the cyclone approaches. We can only hope that the Supreme Being that Mr. Bush assures us he's on a first-name basis with will stick a finger into the nubilous matter inside the man's skull and boom at him: 'Do something!'"

Ouch!


What do your coworkers call you behind your back? Find out here!




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Arafat Claims "Ariel" a Girl's Name
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