WTF Is It Now?!?

"Dammit Jim! I'm a doctor, not a male prostitute!"

"Into Jell-O, Nazism, Carrot Top, rubber pants, Jiffy Pop, naked pictures of Janet Reno and masturbating to "Meet The Press." Household pets a plus. No weirdos." - - #16 on Top5.com's 'The Top 20 Personal Ads to Which You Shouldn't Respond'



Why does this site look so crappy in IE?? Is anyone having probs seeing the pictures?





"Photo Op-Portunism" -

MoDo sounds off on the repukes dancing on the dead of 9/11: "Fortunately for the Republicans, it's a photo and not a video. Otherwise we might hear the president nervously inquiring of his adult supervisor, 'Hey, Dick, is it safe to come home yet?' Even putting aside the fact that this 'heroic' image captures the shaky hours before the president found his footing and his mission in life, a day of blank fear when Washington received no guidance from its leaders, it obliterates the White House's professed principle of not using Sept. 11 to divide. Instead, Bushies are using that dark and sacred day to divide and conquer."

Al Gore: "While most pictures are worth a thousand words, a photo that seeks to capitalize on one of the most tragic moments in our nation's history is worth only one - disgraceful."

Bill Maher, who believes his ABC show "Politically Incorrect" got canceled because he got in trouble with the White House patriotism police for his post-9/11 gibes, said dryly, alluding to the Florida election standoff: "It's the inaugural photo that is exploiting a tragedy."

DNC Chairman Terry McAuliffe said it was "nothing short of grotesque" to attempt to raise money off the terrorist attacks. "We know it's the Republicans' strategy to use the war for political gain, but I would hope that even the most cynical partisan operative would have cowered at the notion of exploiting the Sept. 11 tragedy in this way."

ABC News: "[W]ill the administration - which already has gotten caught selling private briefings from, and access to, Cabinet members and national security officials - reveal any more details about whom among their ranks are spending part of their day today briefing big donors, and on what? [W]hat would the republicans be saying if Bill Clinton did any of this stuff?"

Paul Begala: "They're selling that picture to campaign donors, so that they can feel somehow specially, magically connected. I think it is the shabbiest, sorriest, most pathetic excuse I've ever seen. So is this White House."

Democratic Rep. Jerrold Nadler, whose Manhattan district included the World Trade Center: "That the Republican Party sees no problem with this profit-from-pain scheme says a lot about the moral state of the party."


WH spokes-tool Ari 'the liar' Fleischer speaking to whore
media regarding the use of 9/11 photos for repuke fundraising: "We just
thought, in the interests of bipartisanship, to use the one of him fouling
his pants..."




Saudi Bigwig Bodyslams Boob

Crown Prince Abdullah of Saudi Arabia skewered Napoleon Bonehead yesterday as a man so ignorant about the Middle East, and specifically about the suffering of the Palestinians, that he needed several hours of personal tuition to bring him up to speed.

When the prince visited the pig farm last month, the two men spent five hours* together, far longer than expected. This was an indication - according to the White House spin machine - of how well they got on. Prince Abdullah presents a different interpretation: the time was spent coaching the president in political realities.

"He is the type of person who sleeps at 9.30pm after watching the domestic news," the prince told Okaz, a Saudi newspaper. "In the morning, he only reads a few lines about what is written on the Middle East and the world due to his huge responsibilities."

The prince proves himself to be a master of the art of damning with faint praise, saying of Chimpy the Pinhead that "he listens and debates politely, but was not fully informed about the real conditions in the region, especially the conditions suffered by the Palestinian people". And so, he continues, "I felt it was my duty to spend as long a time as possible to brief him on the facts directly and without an intermediary".
*Earlier reports had it at 79 minutes, some at 2 hours. I bet it felt like 5 hours to the crown prince, tho.





Quote of the Day!

"[T]he administration relies on effrontery. The national security adviser, Condoleezza Rice, demanded that Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez 'respect the constitution' on the day he was restored to office, following the failure of the US-backed military coup against the constitution. Bolton, Rice et al seem to regard themselves as masters of the universe, and show every sign of planning to implement their maximum global programme before the US people gets the chance to elect anyone slightly more sensible." - Andrew Murray, at The Guardian




In Other News...

Justice Department Registers as Official Lobbying Group for NRA
Former gun lobby will concentrate on bumper stickers, shooting contests.

U.S. Abandons War Crimes Tribunal Pact
Decision has "absolutely nothing whatsoever" to do with current military plans, says Bush.

Cuba Added to Axis of Evil
"Where's the plaque?" asks Castro.

Traficant Running Again
He'll seek presidency of the Hair Club For Men.

Test Results: U.S. Kids Don't Know Basic American History
Prize-winning historians lament, plagiarize report.

Leading Authors Vote 'Don Quixote' Greatest Work of Fiction
Finishes just ahead of report issued by Dick Cheney's Energy Task Force.

REMINDER
The Second Amendment guarantees the right of every nut to own a gun.

ANSWER TO LAST WEEK'S PUZZLER
224 is the correct number of former Enron executives currently working in the Bush Administration.

Letters To the Editor:

In the article on foreign threats to the U.S. mainland ("Human Bridge Across the Pacific?") the statement by a so-called military expert that "one sneeze and the entire operation collapses" fails to take into account the possibility of multiple attacks.
Tom Ridge
Washington, D.C.




Is the trip to Yurp a chance for Jenna to visit
A. a rehab clinic
B. an abortion clinic
C. a rehab-and-abortion clinic
D. a detox clinic
E. all of the above
F. other: _________________