September 24, 2002


IN OTHER NEWS
WorldCom Restates Restated Earnings
Corrects previous misstatement of restated restatements.

Snakehead Fish Eradicated From Maryland Pond
Immediately added to Endangered Species List.

Inventor Marks 20th Anniversary of :-)
Man who first used cute smiley face "emoticon" in an e-mail message is skinned alive by an angry mob.

Sen. Thurmond Backs Military Action
"Remember the Maine!" he shouts, then dozes off.

THIS WEEK IN HISTORY
Sept. 17, 1789: After a prolonged struggle, our country's Founding Fathers sign the Constitution of the United States, assigning to Congress the sole power to declare war. The document is now primarily of historical interest. - - Ironic Times


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