April 29, 2003

Family embarrassed by way son died
SAN ANGELO, TX - 'The parents and siblings of Cris Aulter, 25, expressed deep shame and embarrassment Tuesday over his accidental death from autoerotic asphyxiation. "I cannot express how deeply mortified I am," said John Aulter, 52, the boy's father. "I mean, where in the world did Cris get the idea to suffocate himself while jerking off? How will I ever show my face around the office again?" Aulter said he plans to tell friends and coworkers that his son was hit by a car.'

I wonder if he was friends with that kid who broke his neck and died while trying to suck his own d*ck.

- - OK, OK, it's from The Onion.

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