January 31, 2006

And everytime they pan to Alito's wife, shove 2 fingers down your throat
The George W. Bush 2006 State Of The Union Drinking Game

What you'll need:
1. A shot glass per person.
2. Fondue pot with two packages of Li'l Smokies stewing in barbecue sauce. Preferably a sauce from Texas. Surrounded by
3. 100 cocktail toothpicks. The kind with the little American flags wrapped around the top.
4. Drink of choice, + beer

Rules of the Game:
1. Whenever George W. uses the phrases: "national security," "tax relief," "activist judges" or "affordable health care," drink two shots.

2. Whenever George W. mentions the tragic events of 9/11, last person to grab a toothpick, stand and salute must drink three shots. If you stab yourself in forehead with the toothpick, drink two more shots.

3. If George W. actually says, "If Al Qaeda is calling you, we want to know why," first person to finish a whole beer gets to toss Li'l Smokies at any of the others until they finish their beer. Use the toothpicks.

4. If George W. makes up a word like "strategerie" or "deteriorize" drink four shots.

5. If George W. speaks of Hamas and repeats his earlier statement that "it's good to see people are demanding honest leadership," the first person to stop laughing gets to drink one shot then pummel everyone else with empty shot glasses. No head shots.

6. Whenever George W. talks about bipartisanship, the last person to grab his throat in a choking motion has to eat four Li'l Smokies.

7. If either Vice President Dick Cheney or First Lady Laura Bush are caught napping, last person to sing "Wake Up Little Susie, Wake Up," has to drink three shots.

8. Predict the number of applause breaks. Person closest to correct number may then force the others to drink that number of shots in whatever ratio they wish.

9. Three shots if he mentions New Orleans.

10. Whenever George W. quotes the Bible, last person to fall to their knees and cry "Hallelujah!" drinks two shots.

11. Whenever George W. smirks during a standing ovation, take turns drinking shots until the audience sits down. Do it double time if his shoulders shake with silent laughter.

- thanks to MikeD.

On edit: Everyone gets to throw whatever they can find in the cat's litterbox at the TV when the pundits say something up-beat about Alito's brave little wife and isn't she a great woman, didn't she stand up - and then they'll put the camera right on Ted Kennedy and show how he was the guy that molested her basically...

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