February 27, 2009
Posted by maru at 2/27/2009 11:00:00 PM 21 comments
Headline of the day
-- from fark.com.
Posted by maru at 2/27/2009 04:22:00 PM 0 comments
More like this, please
Chris Matthews, Barney Frank rip Darrell Issa a new one for using the term "Democrat" Party, being a shameless, bloviating fuckwipe --
Issa: This isn't intended to be fighting words.
Matthews: They call themselves the Democratic Party. Let's just call people what they call themselves and stop the uh, the Mickey Mouse here. Save that for the stump -- seriously.
Issa: Chris, Chris.
Matthews: Now let's get to the issue here, seriously we've got a fiscal challenge. I want to go back to Congressman Frank and to some English here. Congressman Frank are you worried about the size of these WWII numbers here? Again, 1.75 trillion deficit this year. A spending level of almost 4 trillion. We're almost running deficits as big as the revenue number we're bringing in.
Frank: Well Chris let me first of all come to the defense of my colleague Mr. Issa and the Republicanistical Party that he represents...
Issa: Thanks, Barney.
Frank: You're welcome there Darrell. The point is this. For him to say "oh these are the Democrat's deficits"... I have never seen people disavow their own handiwork so quickly. And I knew that born again was an important strain in our society but born again deficit haters, it's a new version.
Sweet.
Posted by maru at 2/27/2009 04:22:00 PM 3 comments
Just go away
Norm Coleman: Maybe we need a do-over election.
Rest of the country: Maybe you need to STFU already, you fucking loser. Jeebus.
Posted by maru at 2/27/2009 04:21:00 PM 1 comments
Repuglican values
Judd Gregg, who cut and run from a cabinet position because his "conservative principles" wouldn't allow him to support the president's economic policies, personally took home hundreds of thousands of dollars from earmarks.
Gregg, R-N.H., personally has invested hundreds of thousands of dollars in Cyrus Gregg's office projects at the Pease International Tradeport, a Portsmouth business park built at the defunct Pease Air Force Base, once home to nuclear bombers. Judd Gregg has collected at least $240,017 to $651,801 from his investments there, Senate records show, while helping arrange at least $66 million in federal aid for
Uh-huh.
Posted by maru at 2/27/2009 04:18:00 PM 2 comments
Tax-cheating conservatard's book signing draws massive crowd of 11
Samuel "Joe the Plumber vestigial tail" Wurzelbacher held court in a DC Borders last night to hawk his new book, "Joe the Plumber: Fighting for the American Dream,"* but only eleven people showed up.
So what's next for the unlicenced plumber? Well, when he's not speaking at conservative circlejerks, he'll be doing unlicenced construction. Bonus:
Sigh.
*If the American dream is to not have an actual job, not pay your taxes, and live off the pathetic petulance of a party of losers, well, yeah.
Posted by maru at 2/27/2009 04:15:00 PM 2 comments
Former first lady adapts to new life
As full-time zonked-out stoner.
Zoned to the gills on Xanax and Fritos, Pickles Stepford says she didn't watch President Barack Obama's speech to Congress because "I just totally forgot about it."
-- from Jonathan Karl's adorable little puff-piece (mostly), written from the Bush mansion in an opulent, gated community in an exclusive section of Dallas.
Posted by maru at 2/27/2009 04:12:00 PM 0 comments
Always-wrong columnist maintains perfect record
Again! Neocon hack Bill Kristol, who's been wrong about absolutely everything, says the GOP should "obstruct and delay." Because there aren't enough people hurting these days.
What, more tax cuts for the rich? Yes, the same party that ran this country into the ground for the past eight years are now suggesting we need more of the same. Either that, or do absolutely NOTHING. Wow. How totally irresponsible! What a patriot!
A commenter writes
The Washington Post should follow the lead of the NY Times and dump this rubbish master into the nearest trash can.
Dude.
Posted by maru at 2/27/2009 04:10:00 PM 3 comments
A Popular Rising Star.........
.....in the Republic party
About 11 people wandered into the rows of seats set up hopefully in the basement of a downtown Border's bookstore to hear Joe speak. Joe addressed them from behind a lectern and with a microphone, but that seemed unnecessarily formal.Of course, being an average guy that is so wildy popular is going to take a toll on his bright future as an unlicensed plumber:Wurzelbacher was scheduled to speak and sign books for three hours, but the Joe Show was over in 55 minutes. Total copies of "Joe the Plumber" sold: five.
Plumbing? Not happening. "I show up on a plumbing job and the first thing someone's going to say is 'Joe the Plumber didn't do the job right,' " he said. "The next thing you know, it's on the national news. It would be naive to go back to it."Now how could anybody think that a tax dodging, unlicensed shit clog cleaner do a bad job? How socialist!
15 . . . 14:59 . . . 14:58 . . .
Posted by Undeniable Liberal at 2/27/2009 04:10:00 PM 4 comments
CPAC agenda: "Joe" the taxcheating fake plumber to advise young conservaturds as panelist
This year's conservative political action conference (CRAP) is underway in DC and it's hot hot hot!
Is he buying or selling?
Posted by maru at 2/27/2009 04:08:00 PM 4 comments
The rethuglican Taliban, classy as always
No-talent assclown John Bolton jokes about Chicago getting nuked in a terrorist attack, and the entire CPAC audience erupts in cheers and laughter.
Hmph. You know what else would be funny? If those pants-jizzing asswads at CPAC all caught the clap before dying in fiery plane crashes on their way back home. What a thigh-slapper.
Posted by maru at 2/27/2009 04:08:00 PM 2 comments
Limbaugh to convene a 'female summit' to figure out why hos and castrating feminazis hate him
When a new poll comes out showing most women think he's a vile sack of shit, hateful misogynist Rush Limbaugh gets all verklempt:
"I own the men, what must I do now to own women?"
Don't get me started. Oh, I don't know. Can a racist, sexist, child-abusing pig really "own" women? Especially a repulsive, bloated, egotistical scumbag like him? I think not.
Posted by maru at 2/27/2009 04:03:00 PM 4 comments
February 26, 2009
Conservatards say the darndest things
And by that I mean "lie through their teeth." When Dem Rep. Joe Sestak confronts Faux News' Sean Hannity with the truth, Hannity does the only thing a conservaturd can do: invoke the Clenis©:
Hannity: The stimulus bill has 9,000 earmarks.
Congressman: Name one.
Hannity: Salt marsh mice! ATVs! High-speed rail lines to Vegas!
Congressman: Sean, those words are absolutely not in the bill, and you know it.
Hannity: You hid them all.
Congressman: Sean, you're misleading the public.
Hannity: But... but... Clinton!
Congratulations. Your life continues to be a tiny, dim beacon of douchebaggery. You verminous twat.
Posted by maru at 2/26/2009 04:09:00 PM 4 comments
I was a teenage demon-beater
I was also an exorcist. Brady Bunch fanboy, loony Catholic zealot, goat-fucker: the secret past of Piyush "Bobby Hussein" Jindal.
Bonus: Not so fast, mister closet heathen. Party rival Sarah Palin, fuming at Jindal's evident glee that she may be consumed in the next (unmonitored!) explosion of Alaska's volcano, sics some of her good Catholic followers on him, smearing Jindal as a "secret Hindu."
Onus: Good luck with that. Bestial, Viagra-popping lardass Rush Limpbaugh is threatening to crush repukes like grapes if they even think of messin' with his widdle Bobster:
As one poster commented, Rush loves the guy because he "reminds you of those underage Dominican boy prostitutes you frequent, right, Rush?"
Posted by maru at 2/26/2009 04:08:00 PM 4 comments
Americans erupt over repug's ignorant 'volcano' comment
Why does Piyush Jindal want us to die a fiery, lava-covered death? Paul Krugman:
Heh heh -- he said "butt."
Posted by maru at 2/26/2009 04:03:00 PM 0 comments
February 25, 2009
Fun Stuff
Posted by maru at 2/25/2009 04:59:00 PM 1 comments
Bipartisanshit
Byron York at the dcineedmyheadexamineder:
You know, shit like this is why I'll never stop making ralphing noises whenever I see this assclown's name. He adds:
Just one more thing you conservatards should be embarrassed about.
Yorrrrrrrrk!
Posted by maru at 2/25/2009 04:53:00 PM 2 comments
"Barf alert" from freeretardia
Today, some America-hating RINO actually compares "the Kenyan" to Saint Ronnie of Reagan --
Joe Brusuelas, director of market economics for Moody's Economy.com, gives Obama high marks for such "Reagan-esque" moments. More surprisingly for an economist who publicly supported John McCain, Brusuelas also applauded Obama for showing "leadership" on the vexing issue of how to resolve the banking crisis.
Barf! Because it'll be worth having the economy continue its slide down the crapper leaving us in a worldwide depression if it makes Obama look bad.
Above: typical freeper.
Posted by maru at 2/25/2009 04:51:00 PM 1 comments
Always-wrong columnist maintains perfect record
World's greatest political mind... oh fuck it. Neocon hack Bill Kristol thinks Obama didn't mention "war" enough last night, or even try all that hard to scare the bejeebus out of America by mentioning the possibility of another 9/11.
Posted by maru at 2/25/2009 04:49:00 PM 1 comments
Quote of the day
538's Nate Silver on Piyush "Bobby Hussein" Jindal's rebooblican response to last night's non-SOTU by President Obama:
Bonus quote from a reader at The Atlantic:
Zoink!! Double bonus, from fark.com:
Why does Piyush hate our troops? And why does he hate his own constituents?
Posted by maru at 2/25/2009 04:45:00 PM 1 comments
Hi, member me? Ah used tuh be th' preznit!
Already missing the adulation of hairy-knuckled booger-eating yahoos, Drinky McDumbass decides to don his preznental superhero dive-bomber action jacket and wow the little folks down at the corner store.
Look, maw! That no-talent prick was here! Says so on his jacket! And he didn't even buy anything, the cheap bastid!
Posted by maru at 2/25/2009 04:43:00 PM 1 comments
Metric buttload of groups requesting special prosecutor for Bush, Cheney
A special prosecutor with long, sharp pointy teeth!
Amen to that.
Posted by maru at 2/25/2009 04:41:00 PM 1 comments
Repug tired of party leaders' crap
GOP governor, speaking at the Center for the Blatantly Apparent, says the Congressional republican leadership is 'inconsequential':
"Their fathers were relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owners from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery..."
"I don't even know the congressional leadership," Gov. Jon Huntsman Jr. said, shrugging off questions about top republicans, including weepy obstructionist cumbucket John Boehner and pudfaced nincompoop Mitch McConnell. "I have not met them. I don't listen or read whatever it is they say because it is inconsequential - completely."
He said congressional repukes failed to score political points for opposing the bill because the public saw them as objecting to Democrats rather than as taking a principled stand.
"As if. They wouldn't know 'principled' if it came up and bit them in the ass," he should have added.
Posted by maru at 2/25/2009 04:41:00 PM 0 comments
Just Words
Why does America hate America?
Sixty-eight percent of speech-watchers questioned in a CNN/Opinion Research Corp. survey said they had a very positive reaction, with 24 percent indicating that they had a somewhat positive response and 8 percent saying they had a negative reaction.92% positive, 8% overdosing on kool aid. Suck on THAT, Rethugs.
Posted by Undeniable Liberal at 2/25/2009 04:40:00 PM 1 comments
Palin's evangelical base slaps down Bristol
But even more telling is hearing the sound of crickets, rather than the whining of 'gotcha questions from the America-hating drive-by media.'
Where's Palin's vituperative comeback at Van Susteren or the NAEA?
Her silence says truckloads.
Such as 'I'm a hypocritical, unhinged nutbar! You betcha!'
Posted by maru at 2/25/2009 04:32:00 PM 0 comments
Business as Usual
Thanks for the desperately needed bailout money, suckers
Suuurrrrrre, dickweed. These fucktwits are pissing me off. And they have their crusty panties in a wad because some welfare queen might eat steak.- Wednesday, Northern Trust hosted a fancy dinner at the Ritz followed by a performance by the group Chicago.
- Thursday, Northern Trust rented a private hangar at the Santa Monica Airport for dinner, followed by a performance by Earth, Wind & Fire.
- Saturday, Northern Trust had the entire House of Blues in West Hollywood shut down for its private party. We got the menu -- guests dined on seared salmon and petite Angus filet. Dinner was followed by a performance by none other than Sheryl Crow.
There was also a fabulous cocktail party at the Loews. And how's this for a nice touch: Female guests at the Chicago concert all got trinkets from ... TIFFANY AND CO.
Northern Trust gave us a statement yesterday before going total radio silence. A rep for the bank acknowledges they paid for the events, but that the bailout money did not pay for the events. He claims it was paid out of the bank's operating expenses
How fucked we are.
Posted by Undeniable Liberal at 2/25/2009 04:11:00 PM 0 comments
February 24, 2009
Change we can believe in
-- headline from fark.com
Posted by maru at 2/24/2009 04:26:00 PM 4 comments
RNC Chair is down on layin' the smack on the wack crack jacks, yo
Michael Steele says he's open to punishing GOP "defectors" Snowe, Collins, and Specter for actually trying to aid their constituents and country rather than their pathetic party of partisan, obstructionist pricks.
And their impotent, psycho hosebeast junkie leader Mr Limbaugh.
Vid from Fux Nooze is at something called thehopeforamerica.com.
Posted by maru at 2/24/2009 04:21:00 PM 0 comments
Life sucks when you're this guy
Now that he's not going to get to fly in it, Mr. Crankyass McPoopersons sharply questions President Obama on the cost of the new Marine One helicopter.
Above: Sen. John McCain, R-Codger, sits all butthurt during the Fiscal Responsibility Summit hosted by US President Barack Obama. That's Barack Obama, the fucking President of the United States, loser. Heh.
Posted by maru at 2/24/2009 04:20:00 PM 0 comments
Obama derangement syndrome
The silent killer.
Heh. If only. From Eric Boehlert's 'Unhinged in 30 Days: The Right-Wing Media's Obama Era Implosion':
It's astounding to watch the avalanche of hate ooze from conservative media quarters. And why? Because Obama passed an economic recovery bill. Good Lord, imagine if he had failed to win the popular vote and then led the country into a pre-emptive war based on faulty intelligence, a war that lost thousands of American lives, and tens of thousands of foreign lives, while milking the U.S. treasury out of a few trillion dollars in the process.
Oh, snap!
Ahhhh... but conservaturd tears are so sweet... sweet and precious and so, so yumminiferous.
Posted by maru at 2/24/2009 04:17:00 PM 1 comments
Hyperventilating rethug gasbag: "pardon me while I eat my own foot!"
In yet another example of conservative mental and moral midgetry, Republican hack John Feehery, spouting Rush Limbaugh 'porculus' talking points, pwns himself --
JOHN FEEHERY: Well, he passed the biggest, pork-filled stimulus, whatever you want to call it, bill in history and now you're talking about fiscal responsibility [blah, blah, blah] but they go first with this huge pork bill...
O'DONNELL: Name one piece of pork, you simpleminded twit.
JOHN FEEHERY: Ummm, ummm, blah blah errrr, you can't do that to me right now. I can't think of it right now. But it was filled, huge, bunch of stuff that we don't even know what's in there.
You know, stuff! That I just pulled right out of my ass! 'Cause we don't know if it even exists! From dKos tv:
Doooooooouche.
Posted by maru at 2/24/2009 04:17:00 PM 1 comments
Conservatards say the darndest things
From the Gpukes' "If we say something often enough, maybe it'll come true/people will believe it!" files: John Hindrocket's powerloon blog passes around the kool-aid to its legions of knuckle-dragging dittoheads:
Oh really. That's funny, because back on planet Earth...
The NYT:
MSNBC:
The WaComPo:
Had enough yet? No? Good:
Overall, Democrats maintain a nearly 2 to 1 edge over Republican'ts as the party Americans prefer to confront "the big issues" over the next few years.
Suck it, pukes.
Posted by maru at 2/24/2009 04:10:00 PM 3 comments
Spreading the Wealth, Rethuglican Style
Booman expounds, I copy and paste.
The truth is that the conservative economic policies that have dominated the last 30 years or so hasn't resulted in shared prosperity, but in greater disparity and greater concentration of wealth.Blunt truth. Much more at the link.
And there's great danger in that.
Posted by Undeniable Liberal at 2/24/2009 04:07:00 PM 1 comments
February 23, 2009
Headlines we'd like to see
Posted by maru at 2/23/2009 04:27:00 PM 0 comments
Norm Coleman: shameless, obstructionist asswad
Rethug loser putting himself, party over his own (former) constituents --
Coleman is putting his partisan interests ahead of the interests of Minnesotans. While the nation is in an economic crisis, Minnesota is missing a vote in the Senate. From the Star-Tribune:
Does Norm Coleman have a chance of winning?
"Does the Pope shit in the woods?" asked David Scholtz, a university law professor specializing in elections, assholes.
"Very slim," was how Duke University law Prof. Guy-Uriel Charles characterized Coleman's current chances.
"Coleman is in a bubble running out of oxygen," said Lawrence Jacobs, a University of Minnesota political science professor.
Coleman is a shit-bubble who should be deprived of oxygen, said cranky blogger.
moar funny pictures
Posted by maru at 2/23/2009 04:19:00 PM 0 comments
So when DID you stop beating your kid?
Most people would begin to realize just how badly they suck when even psycho trailer-trash are offended by them. Then there's Faux Nooze's Geraldo Rivera.
Posted by maru at 2/23/2009 04:16:00 PM 0 comments
Caribou Conspiracist: 'Media targeted, tried to destroy me'
By covering her campaign appearances, taping her interviews, reporting on her soundbites verbatim.
As part of an interview with conservative hack circlejerker John Ziegler for his new film out this week, Wehhhh!: How the Drive-By Media Refused to Tongue-Bathe St Sarah's VP Campaign, Sarah Palin (R-Tinfoilia) said she believes the media made a decision that “we’re going to seek and we’re going to destroy this candidacy of Sarah Palin’s because of what it is that she represents.”Howard "Screamin'" Dean, Al "I invented the internet" Gore, serial rapist Bill Xlintoon and his murdering lesbian wife Hitlary could not be reached for comment. Socialist commie B. HUSSEIN Osama and his Muslim baby-mama were too busy terrist fistjabbing to make a statement.
“Obviously something big took place in the media,” she added. It is “very frightening, I think, what the media was able to get away with, this go around.”
Palin suggested that unbalanced media coverage posed a threat to democracy.
Posted by maru at 2/23/2009 04:15:00 PM 3 comments
Miserable failure's shrine to pop-up books a bust
Drooly McDumbass's peznental lieberry is not generating any buzz on the Google --
Who’s beating him? His own dad, and some guy who owns a porn collection. Even pages mocking the former president rank higher.
Donny Sullivan, editor-in-chief of Search Engine World, said the site -- just like the former president himself -- is “below average” and is probably failing in efforts to raise money because of its low ranking, low subject matter, and low interest in multiple well-thumbed and stained copies of "My Pet Goat."
The lieberry's mission statement, is in part:
To which one wag commented
Indeed.
Posted by maru at 2/23/2009 04:09:00 PM 3 comments
February 21, 2009
Posted by maru at 2/21/2009 11:53:00 PM 3 comments
Around blogtopia
Translation: "Your inactivity is criminal, porcine gastropod…Go back to Oklahoma!"
Posted by maru at 2/21/2009 10:07:00 AM 3 comments
A moment of silence...
For Socks, the Clintons' cat. : (
Posted by maru at 2/21/2009 09:00:00 AM 4 comments
February 20, 2009
Has Atlantis been found off Africa?
Or are the minions of Cthulhu just fucking with us again?
The perfect rectangle – which is around the size of Wales* – was noticed on the search giant's underwater exploration tool by an aeronautical engineer who claims it looks like an "aerial map" of a city.
* Wales is around 121 times the size of Liechtenstein, or 6.2 Rhode Island Units.
Update: not so fast, Donovan!
Posted by maru at 2/20/2009 04:05:00 PM 6 comments
Doughy pantload: "mmmrrrrrrrll! Ffffrgh wffff nrrrgh blllrrrr!"
"Some of my best friends are black people! Well, they would be if I actually knew any," sez basement-dwelling goober Jonah Goldberg through a mouthful of Cheetos:
Lawdy! What a dipshit! Wtf is this guy's problem? And how does he manage to keep getting paid for this crap?
Disclaimer: I only was able to peruse a small portion of this steaming heap of drivel. When I tried to see the entire piece at townhell.com, it chucked me completely out of the interwebs. That's it: I'm complaining to Michael Steele.
*Who does NOT have a bright blue scrotum. That we know of.
Posted by maru at 2/20/2009 04:04:00 PM 1 comments
GOP legislator: Sarah Palin is "Dan Quayle with a ponytail"
Caribou Barbie needs to keep a potatoe lodged in her gob permanently, says anonymous source.
Meanwhile, a commenter at the WaComPo has a simple suggestion for the beleaguered ditz:
lulz
Posted by maru at 2/20/2009 04:00:00 PM 3 comments
February 19, 2009
Dude Looks Like a Wingnut
And I thought I was going to have start comparing them to Nugent. Aerosmith has told Republics to stop using their songs.
Not that it will stop them.....
Posted by Undeniable Liberal at 2/19/2009 04:31:00 PM 1 comments
THIS Ought to Work Out Well
Rethuglican token Michael Steele says that Gods Own Party needs a hip-hop' makeover
Newly elected Republican National Committee Chairman Michael S. Steele plans an “off the hook” public relations offensive to attract younger voters, especially blacks and Hispanics, by applying the party's principles to “urban-suburban hip-hop settings.Who let the dogs out? It worked out well for Mitt, didn't it?
Posted by Undeniable Liberal at 2/19/2009 04:23:00 PM 1 comments