WTF Is It Now?!?

'White House warns that Congress may be planning new attacks'

The White House revealed today that it was in a state of heightened alert after receiving intelligence reports indicating that Congress may be planning new attacks against the Bush administration.

While the White House stressed that the new threats were “non-specific” in nature, it indicated that the likely target for Congress’s attacks would be President Bush’s habit of claiming that he did not know about things only to have the media later embarrass him by revealing that he did.

Press Secretary Ari Fleischer said that the White House placed itself on high alert after learning of “increased chatter” among political operatives believed to be linked to Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY).

In the event of a new Congressional attack, Mr. Fleischer said, a quick-response force led by Vice-President Dick Cheney and First Lady Laura Bush will fan out across the globe to deny that the President ever knew anything about anything.

“We believe the President’s track record for not knowing about things is impeccable,” Mr. Fleischer said. “Just look at Enron.”

- - lol - - from The Borowitz Report