August 31, 2008
Poll: Confidence in whasshername next to nil
Sarah Palin has the lowest voter confidence of any vice presidential pick since the disastrous gpuke silky-pony choice of Dan Quayle, a USA Toady/Gallup poll released Saturday shows. And that's no small potatoes.
Posted by maru at 8/31/2008 11:43:00 AM 1 comments
Not from The Onion
Head plant.
Dude, somehow I really don't think that's gonna be a problem.
Posted by maru at 8/31/2008 10:36:00 AM 2 comments
McSame's VP candidate has undecideds running to Obama
One other striking finding. If McCain thought he could present Palin as a moderate, he was wrong. A whopping 69 percent view her as conservative (37 percent as very conservative), and only 13 percent see her as moderate.
From this first snap-shot, Palin has helped McCain among Republicans, left Democrats unfazed, but moved the undecideds against him quite sharply. I totally understand why.
"Wait, Palin? Did I say 'Palin'? I meant ... uh... .um ... ackkkkkk!"
Posted by maru at 8/31/2008 10:08:00 AM 1 comments
Obama outwits the bloviators
Frank Rich: 'you stupid fucking pundits have been pwn3d, suckas!'
At the Democratic convention, as during primary season, almost every oversold plotline was wrong. ...
On TV, each of these hot-air balloons was inflated nonstop right up to the moment they were punctured by reality, at which point the assembled bloviators once more expressed shock, shock at the unexpected denouement.
LOL. What a bunch of fucking turds.
Well, ok, that last bit was me.
Posted by maru at 8/31/2008 09:38:00 AM 1 comments
Quote of the morning
'Bush may not attend Republican National Convention because of possible disaster. Also, there might be a hurricane.'-- headline at fark.com. Actual story here.
Posted by maru at 8/31/2008 09:34:00 AM 4 comments
August 30, 2008
The REAL reason McCain selected Palin for his VP
And from our good buds at Blah3--
Posted by maru at 8/30/2008 01:50:00 PM 5 comments
Quickies
Video stolen from Blah3!
Posted by maru at 8/30/2008 09:01:00 AM 2 comments
Top McCain lobbyis advisor: 'he's not dead yet!'
Oh good: inexperienced newbie expected to "be able to be educated quickly."
"She’s going to learn national security at the foot of the master for the next four years, and most doctors think that he’ll be around at least that long,” said Charlie Black, making light of concerns about the cancerous old coot's health.John, probably doing a major face-palm, replies: "She can learn on the job over the next four years, you know, like night school."
And STILL the media is gushing over this.
Posted by maru at 8/30/2008 08:50:00 AM 1 comments
A soldier speaks
Jon Soltz, Captain in Iraq and co-founder of VoteVets.org:
In times like these, with the stakes so high, and the decent chance that McCain might not live long into his first term, I can think of no scarier thought as a proud war veteran than someone with such an empty resume holding in her hands the lives of my buddies still in the service.
Posted by maru at 8/30/2008 08:38:00 AM 0 comments
Caturday awesomeness
I want to do this, too -- via Jill:
Posted by maru at 8/30/2008 08:27:00 AM 7 comments
My son, the putz
John McCain's mom weighs in on Sarah Palin.
Posted by maru at 8/30/2008 08:23:00 AM 1 comments
Uh, NO.
Dan Balz, repuke whore.
I mean, honestly -- how can anyone write this with a straight face? Without being totally fucking blotto with a rethug dick up your ass??
This is fucking embarassing, dude.
Posted by maru at 8/30/2008 07:56:00 AM 1 comments
America's American GILF
In a bold maverick move, senile and Dementia afflicted old fart spices up campaign with a sexy Sarah Palin pic......
MILFCain 2008: McCain and Palin In 2008
Posted by Undeniable Liberal at 8/30/2008 07:43:00 AM 3 comments
Cafferty: 'are you people high???'
Heh --
What does she know about the Middle East?
You want to put her up against Putin and Ahmadinejad. She was the mayor of a town of 7,000 people in Alaska.
I mean you can buy this if you want, but I got 13,000 e-mails this afternoon and 90 percent of them said -- and they were from both sides of the aisle -- that the Obama people are hysterically grateful for this. They had a great convention and now they get Christmas early.
STEPHEN HAYES, "THE WEAKLY ASSWIPE" Well, then you're talking to different...
GLORIA BORGER: Can I just...
HAYES: You're certainly talking to different people than I am.
CAFFERTY: And most of the Republicans...
(CROSSTALK)
CAFFERTY: Most of the Republicans I heard from, including a lot of women, who said how dare John McCain presume, because he names an inexperienced woman from Alaska, that he can start collecting the 18 million votes that were cast for Hillary Clinton?
They're on opposite sides of all the issues. People are outraged. This is a joke.
And later, it got better...
ALLIDA BLACK, HILLARY CLINTON SUPPORTER FOR OBAMA: Well first we were just laughing. I mean, laughing not in the sense of oh, my god, what has he done, but does he really think that's going to work? I mean, does he think that women voters who were with Hillary think Hillary is some Lego block that you can take out a red one and put in a green one?
Word.
"Mrrghbrgghlll!"
Posted by maru at 8/30/2008 07:07:00 AM 1 comments
August 29, 2008
WTF??
My favorite from 10 Things You Didn't Know About Sarah Palin:
Palin and her husband have five children, Bristol, Piper, Track, Willow, and Trig. Her son Track joined the army in 2007.Mitt and Tagg must be really furious by now.
Posted by Undeniable Liberal at 8/29/2008 05:50:00 PM 1 comments
QOTD
"Let's hope Charlie Crist kept the receipt on that engagement ring."-- a poster on fark.com.
Posted by maru at 8/29/2008 05:38:00 PM 0 comments
Bllllarrggghghghgh
CNN is making want to puke right now with all their gushing over an inexperienced neophyte from the back of beyond being named as a possible vp for the country, with all that's going on in the world today.
Posted by maru at 8/29/2008 05:19:00 PM 5 comments
The new McSenile/Palin campaign poster
-- via wonkette.com
Posted by maru at 8/29/2008 05:14:00 PM 1 comments
OMFG
Speaking of Fox Nooze, I just got sent the pic below -- OK, is this thing real? Did those assclowns actually post this??
Posted by maru at 8/29/2008 04:54:00 PM 3 comments
Uhhhhh... right
Fox Nooze: Sarah Palin does have foreign policy experience “because she is right up there in Alaska right next door to Russia.” No, really.
ThinkProgress has the video.
Posted by maru at 8/29/2008 04:41:00 PM 4 comments
The American Promise
"I’ve got news for you, John McCain. We all put our country first."
"For over two decades, he's subscribed to that old, discredited Republican philosophy – give more and more to those with the most and hope that prosperity trickles down to everyone else. In Washington, they call this the Ownership Society, but what it really means is – you're on your own. Out of work? Tough luck. No health care? The market will fix it. Born into poverty? Pull yourself up by your own bootstraps – even if you don't have boots. You're on your own.
"Well it's time for them to own their failure. It's time for us to change America."
Posted by maru at 8/29/2008 04:34:00 PM 1 comments
Friday Funnies
"Political experts say that John McCain is going to try to steal attention away from the Democrats tonight by leaking the name of his running mate. Experts say there’s a pretty good chance that McCain will leak something else too." --Conan O'Brien
"Michelle Obama said she's been in love with Barack ever since he took her on their first date and bought her ice cream. Isn't that sweet? Yeah, meanwhile, John McCain's wife Cindy says she's been in love with McCain ever since he hit her over the head with a club and dragged her back to his cave." --Conan O'Brien
"Tomorrow — this is a little fun fact for you — both John McCain and Michael Jackson will celebrate their birthday. Yeah, so it will be the birthday of an old white guy and John McCain." --Conan O'Brien
"Barack Obama's freshly-minted running mate, Sen. Joe Biden, also spoke tonight, and I have to say, after all the name-related problems this campaign has had, why Obama would pick a vice president with the last name 'Biden' is beyond me. Not that there's anything wrong with the name of Biden, but Obama-Biden, it's like they're trying to make their ticket sound as much like Osama Bin Laden as possible. They found the two guys in America whose names match up most closely with the person we hate more than anyone in the world, and they put them on the bumper stickers, very good thinking." --Jimmy Kimmel
I am not surprised that the reichwingnut rapture nuts haven't picked up on that.~Ed.
Posted by Undeniable Liberal at 8/29/2008 04:34:00 PM 1 comments
More reactions on McInsane's vp choice
Posted by maru at 8/29/2008 04:25:00 PM 2 comments
Quickies
Posted by maru at 8/29/2008 04:20:00 PM 2 comments
Barackopolis? Egobama? Temple of who?
Republicans are so fucking pathetic. Columns! Ahhhh! Even more disgusting? Cable tv stations that aren't the official gpuke propaganda nutwork harping on it.
Well, when faced with multiple assitrocities like that, you have to fight fire with fire. My friends, thanks to Bob Cesca, the Presumptuous Greek god McBush.
Yeah, when McMansions accepts the repuke nomination in front of an imitation Cong grass hut complete with punjii sticks and shrunken heads and shit, we should all be ashamed of ourselves.
Posted by maru at 8/29/2008 04:18:00 PM 0 comments
Happy 72nd birthday, senile old guy!
Incontinent, testy Cranky McFusepants will shoot the first goddamn cunt who sings 'Happy Birthday' to him, so help him God.
The McCain campaign is hoping to bury the news in the announcement of his running mate — but the Democrats have a different way of marking the big day, Washington Wire has learned. They plan to celebrate with the septuagenarian all weekend, accusing him of being close with [Preznit DisasterChimp] by throwing “More of the Same” birthday parties on Friday and Saturday in key states like Ohio and Pennsylvania.
Posted by maru at 8/29/2008 04:17:00 PM 1 comments
A noun, a verb, and a POW
Former President and elder statesman slams irritable curmudgeon on the continual playing of his broken record --
Jimmy Carter said Thursday that Former Prisoner of War John "POW" McCain is “milking every possible drop of advantage” from his time as a prisoner of war in Vietnam.Triple bonus points:
Carter focused on McCain’s interview earlier this month with author and pastor Rick Warren at his parish, the Saddleback Church. McCain used every question, whether it was about religion, domestic or foreign affairs, to talk about his five-and-a-half years as a POW, Carter claimed.
“John McCain was able to weave in his experience in a Vietnam prison camp, no matter what the question was,” Carter, a 7-year Naval officer, said.
“It’s much better than talking about how he’s changed his total character between being a senator, a kind of a maverick at the time, and his acquiescence in the last few months with every kind of lobbyist pressure that the right wing Republicans have presented to him.”So... totally... pwn3d.
Posted by maru at 8/29/2008 04:16:00 PM 0 comments
Stephen Colbert mocks subhuman twit
I love this guy. Via C&L:
KRISTOL: “I thought it was sort of generic.”
COLBERT: “And, as for Senator Clinton’s praise for Barack Obama, here’s how Kristol described that:”
KRISTOL: “Generic. Could have been applied to any other Democrat.”
COLBERT: What a wordsmith. Kristol’s description about Democratic speeches are so…. what’s the word? Interchangeable? Non-descript? A kind of cheap knockoff of a brand name product? It’ll come to me."
Posted by maru at 8/29/2008 04:14:00 PM 1 comments
Birthday Wishes
Last night, Senator b. HUSSEIN Beezlebub Ali Osama Obama(D-Islam) gave a speech in a professional football stadium that was packed. Today, Senator John McKeating(R-Hanoi) muttered about some fucking kids on his lawn while trying to cop a feel from a GILF in a minor college basketball arena that was half-full.
Happy 72nd Birthday, McGrampy.
John McInsane is so old that when former President Clenis spoke at the Dirty Hippy Lovefest, it is important to realize that the mighty and uber liberal Clenis spent 8 years as President, 8 years as a former President, and is STILL ten years younger than McBushagain.
And although McSame may be very old, he is a former POW.
Now get your hope off my lawns, you religious gun clinging kids.
Posted by Undeniable Liberal at 8/29/2008 04:12:00 PM 2 comments
Cable news covering the DNC with republican cue cards
Fuck this shit. When Obama wins the election, he should just totally fucking shut out every media outlet in retaliation. Except for the bloggers, of course!
-- Bob Cesca, on the abyssmal MCM coverage of the Democratic National Convention.
I just liked this pic.
Posted by maru at 8/29/2008 04:12:00 PM 0 comments
McNuts picks cunt as VP
Coldcocks Satan's porcine handmaiden in the process.
Selecting a minority to balance out the black fella, the maverick also hopes his choice of running mate will bring in all those disenfranchised menopausal Hitlary supporters. But will an inexperienced governor and former mayor of Moosefuck, Alaska be able to handle a 3 AM phone call if and when the 72-year-old coot keels over???
Fun fact: the choice marks yet another flipflop for Senile McPancakes, who has repeatedly asserted that his "key criteria" in selecting a running mate would be that that person would be "most prepared to take my place" and that his selection would be someone "who is ready to take my place at a moment's -- you know, immediately, pie plates bran muffins diaperrash."
Fun fact 2: she hasn't even been in office two years.
Bonus: she's already under investigation. What a time-saver!
Updates:
Paul Begala wonders "Is McCain out of his mind???"
Andrew Sullivan: Palin is McInsane's "Harriet Miers."
The WaComPo reports that Mitt Romney and Tim Pawlenty are pissed. LOL
Posted by maru at 8/29/2008 04:08:00 PM 0 comments
Shunned inlaw gives big FU to McNuts, snotty beerfrau
"Only child" Cindy McCain's half-sister: 'I'm voting for Obama'
"I think his proposals to improve the country are more positive and I'm not a big war believer," Kathleen Hensley Portalski told the North Pottstown Herald-Tribune-Record-Gazette. "Cindy McCain? Who is that? Sounds like a royal-assed cunt to me," she should have added.
Posted by maru at 8/29/2008 04:04:00 PM 1 comments
August 28, 2008
Anal leakage may lead to McCain’s departure
Snort! Angry, senile old coot may have much bigger problems...
“Senator McCain has been wrestling with this condition on and off for a little over 4 years now,” said the McCain campaign physician Dr. Earl Phillips. “He usually functions well throughout the winter months, with spring being his trouble season. It’s really quite surprising to see him struggle this much in February,” said Phillips.
Judith Brown, a volunteer on the McCain campaign, said that the Senator’s condition has gotten to the point to where speech writers are forced to keep his public addresses to less than 12 minutes.
“He just can’t hold up out there any longer than 12 to 15 [minutes],” Judith told reporters. “We’re to the point where we’re ready to try anything.”
LOL
Posted by maru at 8/28/2008 04:31:00 PM 12 comments
Don't ask me about honor, I'm a Former Prisoner of War!
Straight-talkin' Cranky McFusepants gets ticked off, refuses to define "honor" in Time magazine interview.
In fact, McCain can't think of a single criticism of his campaign so far and refuses to answer when pressed. He also refuses to define what he means by "honor" when asked and refers to interviewers Carney and Michael Scherer to his books. He claims some of his past quotes have been ripped "out of context." They introduce the interview this way: "McCain at first seemed happy enough to do the interview. But his mood quickly soured. The McCain on display in the 24-minute interview was prickly, at times abrasive, and determined not to stray off message."
Why does Time magazine hate America?
In a related story, even Andrew Sullivan thinks he's gone a bit too far:
They are taking a risk. They are living their message, even as McCain is trashing his own reputation with the asinine, adolescent Weekly Standard brattishness that is now his trademark.
Posted by maru at 8/28/2008 04:28:00 PM 1 comments
Nature's mighty power
And bizarre sense of karma? A massive hurricane is going to land on or near New Orleans on the anniversary of Katrina, just as Preznit DisasterMonkey takes the stage at the rethug national convention.
Posted by maru at 8/28/2008 04:24:00 PM 1 comments
GOP: 'thinking is not allowed'
Former Prisoner of War John "POW" McInsane -- who sent his homewrecking pillpopper trophy wife to discuss the Georgia/Russian war with President Saakashvili -- says Barack Obama’s decision to consider whether a special envoy to Northern Ireland was still necessary puts progress there “at risk."
Senile old fuck.
Posted by maru at 8/28/2008 04:23:00 PM 1 comments
Harry Reid grows a set
Holy crap. Finally, someone telling it like it is about Angry McNutcase:
"I've served with the man 26 years," Reid said. "Do I have the ability to speak with experience about someone who has abused everyone he's dealt with? Someone who does not have the temperament to be president, who's wrong on the war, wrong on the economy, wrong on nuclear waste. What am I supposed to do? Walk around talking about what a great guy he is? I don't believe that. .... "
"There isn't a Republican serving in the Senate that's happy he's the nominee. Now, they're all supporting him, but I'll tell you they have told me. I've had Republican senators tell me they don't think they'll vote for him," Reid said.
When Ralston asked if Reid thought it would be "dangerous" to let McCain be president, Reid answered: "Well, if you said it, I wouldn't correct you."
IT'S ABOUT TIME!!!!!
Posted by maru at 8/28/2008 04:20:00 PM 0 comments
Gpuke VP hopeful spurns bloated, evil shitsack
Rove, after asking insufferable quisling to withdraw name, tongue from his ass, gets finger instead --
Corpulant antichrist Karl Rove called shrivelled, human-like smegwad Joe Lieberman late last week to urge him to withdraw his name from vice presidential consideration, according to sources familiar with the conversation.Karl has got to be pissed: sounds as though he really, really wants it to be Multiple-Choice Mitt:
The smug, faux-pious vichycrat dismissed the request, the sources said.
“Rove called Lieberman,” recounted another source. “Lieberman told him he would not make that call.”
“Rove is pushing Romney so aggressively some folks are beginning to wonder what's going on,” grumbled one veteran Republican strategist.McMansions is expected to announce his vp choice on Friday. Unless Karl tells him not to.
Fun fact: Mitt Romney bought a new $12 million beachfront house in La Jolla, California not that long ago. He also has a house in Iowa. And one in Massachusetts. And a lake home in New Hampshire. That one is worth more than $10 million. And he has a vacation home in the ski resort of Park City, Utah.
Update: the confused candidate is now saying he hasn't decided on his running mate yet, mainly because giant horseflies refrigerators hot-air balloons.
Posted by maru at 8/28/2008 04:17:00 PM 1 comments
We have so won!
A U.S. soldier has died of wounds suffered in a small-arms fire attack in Baghdad.
As things continue to go remarkably well, separate suicide bombers killed 30, including 28 in an attack Tuesday on Iraq police recruits.
Oh, and China has reached a $3 billion oil deal with Iraq. China.
Posted by maru at 8/28/2008 04:15:00 PM 2 comments
Tom Brokaw: douchewad
I never thought I'd say it, but I've lost all respect for this guy:
Posted by maru at 8/28/2008 04:14:00 PM 4 comments
Raves for the media's convention coverage!
And not in a good way! Boy, the bad reviews just keep pouring in --
Had the commentators not been so busy filling airspace and paid closer attention to what was happening on the podium, they might have had a different take.
Jon Stewart blasts MSM for horrific "coverage"
In a breakfast with reporters, Stewart directed most of his ire at the 24-hour cable news networks, which he called "gerbil wheels," and said the media at-large had abdicated...
Stewart said politicians in recent campaigns are "animatronic" because all of the "humanity has been managed out of campaigns." He referenced the back-and-forth during the Pennsylvania Democratic primary over Obama's lack of bowling skills.
"It's stunning where this election is going to be decided on," he said. "Or what we allow it to be decided on."
Posted by maru at 8/28/2008 04:12:00 PM 1 comments
Don't miss...
... all the good stuff at BuzzFlash!
Posted by maru at 8/28/2008 04:11:00 PM 1 comments
Papers dropping the AP like a sack of rotting groundhogs
Way to go, Ass. Press!
The Star Tribune joins a string of other daily papers who have either given notice or revealed plans to cut the service in recent months.The recent decisions to drop AP service stems from a planned rate change, say papers, and not from the fact that the service suddenly sucks major ass.
Those include the Spokesman-Review of Spokane, Wash.; the Post Register of Idaho Falls; the Bakersfield Californian; the Yakima Herald-Republic and Wenatchee World, both in Washington, the Valley Forge Herald-Picayune, the Daily Nosebag of Iowa City, the Maswegan Poultry Tribune, the St Mertle Herald-Tribune-Record, Indiana's Post-Intelligencer, the North Bumfuck Probe-Register of North Dakota, the Miami Standard-Review Times and the Waco Herald-Post-Record-Tribune Ledger-Review.
Not to mention repuke dick.
Posted by maru at 8/28/2008 04:07:00 PM 1 comments
Doooooooouche!
Major-league asshole David Brooks: 'Most of the delegates’ at the DNC sound like 'a North Korean pep rally.'
Maru: 'David Brooks sounds like a desperate little WATB whose panties are on too tight.'
Posted by maru at 8/28/2008 04:03:00 PM 0 comments
August 27, 2008
"What's red, white, black and blue all over?"
"Wuh?"
"POW John McCain getting whipped by gay sadists in a POW camp. POW."
Posted by maru at 8/27/2008 11:12:00 PM 2 comments
But... but... he's a former blahblahblah!
Pat Leahy finally comes out and says what everybody has been thinking -- that McInsane has developed Alzheimer's Disease.
Somewhat.
See also here.
Posted by maru at 8/27/2008 04:49:00 PM 1 comments
Gee. What a surprise.
Ron Fournier, gpuke asswhore.
Posted by maru at 8/27/2008 04:48:00 PM 1 comments
GOP VP wanna-be plays POW card
Gawd. I haven't seen so much lip- and asshole-action since I toured that hot dog factory back in '81.
Mitt "mmmmnummies!" Romney: "McCain earned his eight houses. Obama didn't."And does so again, with Faux Nooze's kNeil Cavuto.
Black HUSSEIN Osama not only spent his 30s with a kitchen table, he wasn't whipped by gay sadists as a Prisoner of War.
Posted by maru at 8/27/2008 04:37:00 PM 1 comments
Disunity for McCain: GOP platform causing splits in the party
With the MCM's never-ending gloatfest over "DemocratIC disharmony," we should be posting this all over the place. Via AmericaBlog:
And that goes double for picking that flipflopping gay-loving baby-killer Mitt Romney as VP.
"Bend over, evangelicals!"
Posted by maru at 8/27/2008 04:35:00 PM 2 comments
Good one
John "Bomb bomb Iran" McInsane, who called Vladimir Putin the President of Germany and can't remember the difference between Sunnis and Shiites, Russia and the USSR, Czechoslovakia and 2 other countries or where Afghanistan's borders are criticizes Obama's foreign policy."
To be fair, he was was whipped by gay sadists as a Prisoner of War.
Posted by maru at 8/27/2008 04:33:00 PM 0 comments